


My Sweet Escape

by J_for_jenny



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 04:46:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 245,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12741279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_for_jenny/pseuds/J_for_jenny
Summary: The Kalderash gypsies plan to punish Jenny for making an abomination of their ancestors work. They do a spell to locate her soul and accidentally bring her back to life. Giles finds Miss Calendar and she forces him to keep it a secret. She works hard to make everything up to them and discovers a prophecy that she has a key role in whats to come.





	1. I Found You

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Sweet Escape](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/339894) by J for Jenny. 



> This Fanfiction does not change anything that Joss Whedon created in his show, and the timeline of events remains the same. Instead this story is adding to the show by providing content that is happening "behind the scenes" without Buffy's knowledge. The author highly recommends watching the Buffy episodes while reading the chapters because the premise of this story is that Jenny comes back to life and has been helping the scoobies the entire time, and some of them never knew about it.
> 
> This story begins in season 2, "I Only Have Eyes for You" and the author recommends watching "Passion", "Killed by Death" and "I Only Have Eyes for You" before/during reading these chapters and continuing to watch the following episodes as the story moves further.

Prologue

*Giles*

Some kind of Paranormal Phenomena was going on and I was probably the only person who knew it, well, for now anyway. I had played the event once more in my mind; The janitor shot a teacher, Ms. Frank, and he claimed to have no idea why. The police could not find the gun he had used to shoot Ms. Frank and what I had seen tonight sounded a lot like the incident Buffy had described the night before when a high school couple got into an argument. The difference was that both students survived because Buffy had interfered but Ms. Frank wasn't so lucky.

I didn't know Ms. Frank very well and she wasn't the first colleague I've lost to the hellmouth. But due to recent events I've thought it best to distance myself from making any more friends because the pain of losing them is far greater. So I chose not to get emotionally involved and focus on the case. It was easy to conclude that both incidents were related, which means I have a lot of work to do.

But first I needed to visit a friend.

Once I got to Jenny's classroom, I opened the door and I saw her sitting in her chair at her desk, typing. It was exactly the moment I last saw her, replaying in my mind again. I closed my eyes to recall every detail. It was infuriating knowing that if I had stayed with her, it would have changed everything.

I put my hand in my pocket, to pull out the one thing I had left of Jenny. A Rosequarts. I was quietly hating Willow for being the one who was clearing out her desk so quickly, but Willow was doing all she could do. So I couldn't blame her. But how could everyone just move on and act like Jenny meant nothing?I'm barely able to make it through the day sometimes... and it never gets easier.

I didn't want to spiral back into my depression so I turned away, and slammed the door shut on my way out. I glanced back through the small square glass in the door, and my imaginary friend had vanished.

I didn't want to go home. I hadn't slept in my bed and I wasn't about to. But going home was just a horrid reminder of the moment I discovered her body. So I spent most of my nights in the library and other nights out to grab a drink. I had to decide which it would be tonight.

For once living on the hellmouth had an upside. When anything hellmouth-ish happened, it helped me to think of something other than Jenny.

But I could have sworn I heard her voice just before the janitor shot Ms. Frank. I could have sworn on everything that, that was Jenny's voice calling out to me that she needed me. But I may be going mad.

How could I think for one second that it was Jenny? She is dead. Buried six feet under ground. I felt her blank stare, even now, and remember the cold touch of her corpse. I would have done anything to bring her back, hell knows I tried. Literally. But now she is left rotting and I felt incapable of anything. God emasculated me by taking her away. I walked down a staircase in another cold high school hallway.

It's been about two months since... since it happened, and I still headed off to her classroom almost every night just hoping, dreaming, that I could have a second chance to save her life. That I could see her one last time typing away on her computer and have the opportunity to change the outcome of that one night. I know I'm not yet dealing with her loss but that's because something inside of me was screaming that this wasn't over. I've been doing the best I can to cope, even though it hasn't been going well… I wanted the memories from her funeral to have been just some gruesome hellmouth joke.

My thoughts were interrupted.

Suddenly the whole staircase around me flashed a blinding light, causing me to quickly duck to avoid what ever was coming. The flash had only lasted half a second, but it was followed by a crashing sound as if something big had slammed into the floor. My instincts kicked in and my heart started pumping, jumping into action just as the Watcher's Council had trained into me. I stood up quickly to search for the origin of the sound. Down on the hard cold floor of the first flight of stairs, beneath a rounded window, was a woman. A faint cry escaped from her lips. Immediately, I knew I was dreaming.

This wasn't unusual for me, in fact this was very usual. I would see Jenny almost anywhere I went. And sometimes I would play along and pretend it wasn't just my imagination, especially after I've been drinking. She had become my imaginary friend, and this was the daily game we played where I pretend she is alive by some dramatic occurrence, and we spend the moment talking to each other, apologizing... as if it was a normal day. So I looked down at my imaginary friend, wishing I could do anything to bring her back for real. But since I couldn't, tonight I decided not to play along with this game. It was driving me mad. I held back my tears and turned around so my imaginary friend would vanish.

I could still hear her crying.

She called my name.

I began tear up. This wasn't real, it was impossible. She began to cry even harder and called out to me once more, "Rupert!"

A dream, it has to be. Rupert don't do this...

"Jenny..." I barely mumbled.

I accepted the dream, her memory and everything I wanted.

I moved toward her and my body began shivering. She was lying there crying and clothes covered in earth. Once I reached the bottom step, I bent down toward the perfect ghost and reached out my hand to turn her face toward me. Like usual I expected my hand to go right through her, but it didn't.

Her cheek was in my hand, and she was looking at me. In a moment of temporary insanity, I thought I was awake. Her face in my hand stimulated something inside of me and I woke up. But she was still there. She was real. She was alive. I don't know why, I don't know how, but there she was lying in front of me, crying, and staring at me.

It is part of the paranormal phenomena, it has to be. This isn't possible. This can't happen. Could it? Have I finally gone mad?

I was frozen in confusion until Jenny's hands reached for my face. She pulled my face toward hers until we were nose to nose. I closed my eyes and felt her warm tears race down from her cheek to mine.

I couldn't believe it but I had a sudden feeling that this was the moment I'd been waiting for.

How were her soft perfect hands holding me? How was something like this even possible? Then again... for those on the hellmouth, that really was a foolish question.

Was this really happening?

* * *

**Chapter 1: I Found You**

*Jenny*

I gasped for air.

_What's going on?_

I tried to sit up and my head hit the top of something and my arms couldn't stretch out, like if I was in a box. I couldn't open my eyes, or maybe they were already open but it was dark, so dark that I couldn't see anything. I had no idea what was going on or where I was. Or where I had been. I laid back and reached my arms up the farthest they could go which was not very much.

_How do I get out of here?_

I tried to push up with my arms but nothing would budge. Suddenly, I found myself once again gasping for air. I didn't bother pushing the top anymore I started punching but making no progress.

"Giles, I need you." I cried. I'm not sure why I said it, but I felt as if he could hear me.

I punched harder and harder until something cracked and dirt was falling in my face. I was getting frightened and started crying. Then a blue glow started to form from around my skin and it burned. I tried harder and harder to pull myself out, but my body felt like it was on fire.

I screamed.

The glow around my skin got brighter and I was able to see just enough to feel like I was in a coffin. As it got brighter, the blue fire got hotter. "What's happening?" I cried hoping someone would hear me or see the blue light. If finally became so bright to the point that it was blinding.

Then it all stopped. The dirt wasn't falling on me, the fire stopped burning, and air was easier to breathe.

I opened my eyes and looked around but everything was white.

I heard somebody shouting, "Don't do that DAMN IT! Don't talk to me like I'm some sort of… " then a loud shot was fired. Suddenly an Orb of Thesulah appeared in my hands. The orb was glowing a red-ish orange and I could feel a strong connection to it. I looked closer at the orb and saw an old woman peering at me and the orange glow was coming from the fire surrounding her. I recognized the old woman as the leader of the Kalderash tribe. I heard her whisper, "What I have in store for you is far worse than death." The message had frightened me so much that I dropped the orb and tried to run.

I still had no idea what was happening, but I gathered up one important piece of information. I died. Where ever I was, it was because I was dead.

There was nothing for my foot to step onto and I fell.

I fell and the darkness all fell along with me. Screams began to sound like cries. Without any warning I landed on a floor and felt the cracking of tile beneath me.

I grabbed my head which was numb and still hadn't processed the pain. Once I was able to recover I opened my eyes and looked around. I found myself lying on the cold, filthy floor of the Sunnydale high school staircase.

And suddenly I remembered everything.

I was murdered, by Angelus.

When I heard footsteps I looked up. A man was walking quickly up the staircase. I got a glimpse of Angelus and begin to panic but after another glance I knew exactly who it was.

"Rupert." I cried.

I don't think he heard me, he kept walking up the steps.

I cried out his name the best I could.

"Rupert."

The man stopped at the top step and turned very slowly with the look of desperation painted across his face. He stood still and looked directly at me as if contemplating what he wanted to do. Tears streaming down his face. But I had no patience for this, "Rupert!"

"Jenny." In that same moment he dropped everything he was holding and I watched his briefcase rumble down the stairs. Rupert hurried toward me. Once he finally reached the bottom step, he bent down carefully beside me. He was shaking. It seemed like he thought I would disappear at any given moment. I was scared too. I thought that I would.

His green eyes flared the moment he held my cheek in his palm. He became tense.

He raced his fingers through my hair,and suddenly my head felt heavy from the fall. He quickly took his hands off me because he noticed my sudden jolt. My neck was tender, but I couldn't bear him being so far away.

I reached out for his face and pulled him toward me until we were nose to nose. I closed my eyes.

Tears raced down my cheeks and I knew what we were both thinking…

"How?"

So I asked it first.

Seconds had ticked by and he didn't answer so I opened my eyes to look at him and we stared into each other. He consumed me in a kiss. I was overwhelmed with a passion to pull myself so close to him that there could be no space between us. He must have been feeling the same thing because he pushed me toward him with the same intensity I was feeling; until he went cold and stopped responding to my lips. I pulled away. Whatever he was expressing gave me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"How did you do that?" He finally spoke.

"D-Do what?" I asked worried.

He studied my face and must have figured I had no idea what he was talking about. He pulled my face toward his again and kissed me once more.

This kiss was much longer than the first and maybe even a little less gentle. Then, he pulled away so quickly that it had even scared me. When I looked back up at him, tears were forming in his eyes.

"What happened?" I couldn't hide my anxiety.

"I saw… what brought you…" The expression he had on his face was one that I remembered quite clearly. He was searching for an answer, "I'm not sure."

As he stared off into space I carefully rubbed his shoulder and he looked back at me. Whatever he was thinking before, I could tell had left him as soon as his eyes reached mine. He reached out and held my cheek again. I relaxed finally seeing a smile on his face.

"I need to get you out of here."

"Rupert I don't understand. What happened?"

"I'll explain when we get out of here" he said reassuringly.

I tried my best to stand and I failed horribly with balance because I was feeling incredibly weak. Rupert helped me up and I held onto the railing of the stairs for support.

When he retrieved all his belongings I noticed something that I had not before. He was wearing a rose quartz just like the one I kept in my desk. I noticed it because it began to glow a light shade of pink.

Once he had gotten back to me, he delicately wrapped his arm around my waist and I put my arm over his shoulder for support as we slowly walked down the steps. I fought to keep my eyes open. One moment I was trying to claw my way out of a coffin and the next I'm on the floor kissing the librarian. Truthfully, not many things were making sense but the last thing I wanted was to leave Rupert. I needed him. Every moment was making me dizzy.

"Rupert, I-I can't stand." I said.

Quickly, he wrapped his arms beneath me and lifted me off the floor. In a moment all the spinning stopped.

"Thank you." I whispered closing my eyes. I listened closely to his heart beat. It's rhythm was calming.

"Where did you get your hands on a Rosequarts?"

"Oh… uh, yes, the Rosequarts." He said nervously, "Actually, it's yours. Willow, she gave it to me… found it in your desk."

I suddenly understood why it was glowing. I chuckled lightly at him, "Do you know what it's for?"

"Willow said you told her it has healing powers."

"Yeah," I yawned letting my exhaustion overtake me, "And it's supposed to help you find someone you love. I used it all the time to find you when you were out on patrol with Buffy. Look," I pointed to the gem, "It's glowing. That means I've found you."

I stared at the pink glowing gem until I drifted off into a slumber. I woke up when I realized he was setting me down on a couch. When I opened my eyes, I realized we were in his appartment.

I looked around his apartment realizing what a mess it was. The smell of alcohol was apparent and clothes were scattered around the house. I think I may have even spotted a couple of dried flower petals on the floor.

"Sorry for the mess." He said quickly picking up the clothes around the house. Soon enough, he hurried back down with a folded pair of clothes in his arms.

"No big deal." I finally said, "It's nothing compared to how I look at the moment…" I realized for the first time how dirty my clothes were. "I probably shouldn't be on your couch." I realized looking at the dark dirt stains on my skin.

"Well these are for you." He handed me a button up and large sunnydale sweatpants.

"And here I thought you slept in your tweed suits."

"So you've taken thought to what I sleep in?" He was so quick to the response. It wasn't often he could catch me off guard.

I flirted a smile at him, "Oh, I've thought about more than that."

I knew I got him when he began choking on his next words, "Jenny… I need to uh, talk to you about… what, I er, saw..."

"When you kissed me?" I interrupted, now getting more serious. He looked at me confused so I continued, "Something happened when we kissed, didn't it?"

"You saw it too?"

"No, I just… Rupert, can you explain to me whats happening?"

"Oh, um… I can try. Well, I'll tell you what I know. I got some sort of message or flash of someone else's memory." he finally sat beside me on the couch, "Well, I think they had some sort of meeting..."

"Who?"

He swallowed, and then paused, "The gypsy's…"

* * *

"Are you certain that Janna can still not be found?" An old woman asked following a man through a beautiful painted hallway. The floor to the ceiling was architected in marble.

"Positive. We have tried everything, like you said, she must be under a great spell to hide herself from us." The guy said.

He looked to be in his early twenties and was dressed nicely in a button up black suit and lime green tie.

"We mustn't let her get away with neglecting our people and her duties…" the old woman spat.

The man stopped and turned back to her, "I know Ileana," He reached out and held her shoulders, "I promise you this… that dreadful woman won't get away with rebelling against our clan and ruining everything our ancestors have done."

"You promise Roffie?"

"You have my word." He bent over and gave Ileana a gentle hug around her fragile figure. They walked inside, what looked like a small conference room with a long table seated with many people waiting for their arrival.

No matter how old the lady was, there was an undoubtable gasp of fear as her presence entered the room. Her people not only feared her, but respect her. They all had grown up under her weary eye. Everything she taught was truth to them. Everything she taught, was their life. She had been the leader of the Kalderash clan for many years because of her power and no one crossed her.

"Ah, finally… thank you for joining us today." A man said delightfully as they walked in the room.

This man's hair was slicked back with a sophisticated touch of grey. His grey suit was clearly the most expensive suit in the room and accessorized with a gold watch and pink tie.

Roffie pulled out a chair for Ileana and as she sat, the other man walked over toward Ileana, taking the seat right beside her. Roffie rolled his eyes and was forced to sit in the only other chair available next to this guy he clearly didn't like.

"It was a pleasure brother," he decided to act polite in front of all these people , for now.

Roffie took the empty seat beside his brother and the meeting began. They all started discussing what they were going to do about all this trouble Janna had caused, and how they were to punish her. Roffie was quickly bored with this… he leaned in and whispered in his brother's ear.

"What did you bring me here for?" He insisted.

"I thought you would enjoy the plan I created for us. One the elder would be pleased with…" he motioned toward Ileana.

Roffie rolled his eyes, "and what makes you think I would want to work with you?"

"I wouldn't call it working together… I would say it went more along the lines of… a competition."

Roffie was easily intrigued, he loved the thought of beating his brother and getting glory from Ileana in the process, "What do we do?"

"See who is the first person to find Janna and bring her to the gypsies to do with her as they please."

Roffie hesitated "And the winner gets what?"

"Well, that depends on how happy the winner makes Ileana." He smiled so brightly, that Ileana, sitting beside him noticed.

"What are you two mumbling about?" she insisted.

"We have come up with a plan." The brother replied and the old woman got excited. He stood up and spoke over the murmurs in the crowd. Everyone silenced, "listen here, before we decide what happens to the traitor… we must bring her here, or else we may never find her to punish her."

"Well, if you don't mind, can I cut in?" Ileana stood up from her chair.

"Of course." He said smoothly and sat back down, a little irritated that he was interrupted.

"Well, I have yet one more spell we have not tried yet, to locate her. The most powerful spell known to our tribe. Janna betrayed my great grandmothers curse and I would like to take part in finding her." She demanded. "The spell is powerful."

"Ileana," His brother said pitifully, "the most powerful spell of our tribe is the Ritual of Restoration and it only worked once, not to mention parts of the spell have been lost."

"I know," she explained, "but I have just enough of the spell I believe to find her soul and I know all the ingredients needed to make it work. As long as I can look into her soul, I can see where she has been hiding. At the very least that's something that we can accomplish."

"Then let's give this spell a chance." Roffie clapped his hands together.

"There are only a couple things I need…" she nodded.

* * *

*Jenny*

"And that was all I saw in the first kiss." Rupert explained.

"Why is it only you can see the messages, and I can't?"

"I don't know, maybe some higher power wanted me to warn you."

The ceiling creaked and I was getting paranoid. He noticed. His finger slid down my cheek, "Jenny I promise I'll keep you safe. If you don't want to hear the rest…"

"No, please." I tried hard to ease my thoughts, "I need to know."

* * *

"Are you ready Ileana?" Roffie asked.

"To the best I'll ever be." She said sitting with her legs hidden under her picturesque gown, as she crossed them. The conference room looked a little different, because now everyone was standing and watching the old lady as she worked. She was sitting on top of the conference table. Candles formed a circle around her and she continued to chant. She held a glass orb in her hand which started to glow a brighter blue as she was chanting. Although Rupert had watched this in his vision, he wasn't able to make out what she was saying.

After the last line, Ileana was in the middle of what looked like a blue tornado. The others all watched in awe.

The flames from the candles raised high toward the ceiling, and Ileana sounded as if she was in pain. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her face was tilted upwards.

"Ileana!" Roffie shouted but his brother held him back.

"Not yet…" He continued to watch in interest.

"Oh my… " she spoke. It looked as if she was watching something they couldn't see…

Fire from the candles caught onto the blue light and before anyone could grasp what just happened. Ileana was now surrounded by fire. Everybody panicked, even Roffie's brother.

"Ileana!" they all yelled.

Ileana began whispering but no one could make out what she was saying. When the orb in her hands disappeared she fell to the floor and the fire that surrounded her turned to water which fell in droplets on top of her. Roffie came running by her side.

"Ileana!" he said turning her over. "What happened?" he said furiously staring now at his brother.

His brother just shrugged looking confused. "I guess it didn't work… looks like our bets back on."

Ileana started coughing and everybody looked back at her. "I-I'm fine. I-It didn't work."

"It's okay… rest." Roffie explained.

"B-but I-I know where s-she is." She was getting her breathing back in order. Ileana was angry, her eyes black, and she was determined to get up and finish.

"Where?" Roffie's brother asked.

"T-the hellmouth… she's still there! I saw her. She's hurt." She looked at the others who stood there watching her. Roffie got the feeling that she wasn't sharing everything but he wouldn't dare question her. His brother seemed amused.

"But we, we swear she was nowhere to be found!" A spectator dared to speak.

"The hellmouth?" Roffie's brother examined.

Roffie smiled, "Oh it's on!"

* * *

*Jenny*

I couldn't speak… what have I done? Am I really this horrid of a person to inflict so much damage on my family … on my friends? I closed my eyes, tears slowly forming. The gypsies are after me, to kill me… hurt the ones I care about? Not again, no they aren't doing this to me again!

I finally mumbled, "So she used what she had of the restoration spell to find me, and accidentally brought my soul back to life? It couldn't be that easy… that shouldn't have worked."

"That's what I've gathered. I figured since the place of your death is currently entwined with the spirt realm, it was the only time her spell could have brought you back. And that's what it did."

"What's going on at the school?"

"That's not important right now. I'll catch you up later." He insisted.

"But I woke up in my grave?"

"Can't wake up without a body…" he shrugged.

"So my soul needed to hitch a ride to wake up. Got it." I understood now, Rupert was dead on with his theories, "Glad I wasn't brought back a ghost."

Rupert chuckled, "I guess for the first time, the hellmouth worked in my favor."

"And they still didn't know, two months later, that I had died. How is that?" I asked confused.

"Well, they are somewhat on the other side of the world."

I looked down at my filthy clothes, and then got a glimpse of the time, "It's late, I better get home."

Rupert's eyes got big and he was shocked… "but Jenny…"

I stood up.

"Rupert, thank you for helping me, really… it's just I can't imagine getting you hurt again, I want you safe."

"No Jenny!" he said disappointed. He rushed to stop me, grabbing me by the arm, "I'm not going to let you do this to me again."

"Do what?"

"Leave."

I stayed quiet looking down at the pajamas he was going to let me borrow.

"Jenny, please, for my sanity, if you really don't want me hurt… don't leave, I just got you back tonight. I won't be able to live knowing I got you back and now you're out there alone with the gypsies who are doing, God knows what looking for you. I promise I'll keep you safe, Buffy she'll…"

"No!" I pulled myself from his grasp and shouted at him, "I don't want Buffy involved with any more of my problems! They'll just get her hurt…"

"Fine, but please stay. Jenny I need you."

I had done a daring thing by looking up at him; another helpless looking gaze. I was defeated. Weak. and Tired. He already won this debate when he found me on the staircase.

"Rupert, I don't want to make things confusing for either of us." I softened my tone, "I'll sleep on the..."

"Bed with me." He said firmly, interrupting me. "Look Jenny, you don't know what I have been through these last two months. I won't be able to sleep unless I'm holding you. I'm not asking you for sex and I'm not trying to pressure you… but this feels so unreal to me and tonight I need you."

He sensed my hesitation and pleaded, "Just for tonight? We can figure out everything else later."

I smiled at him, "Thank you." I couldn't fight him tonight so I walked up the stairs to his bathroom with the pajamas he lent me.


	2. Mr. Giles Secret

"That's it!" Her expression changed to nothing but shock and disbelief. "It's going to work!" Excited, she saved the files on a disk and pulled it out of the computer. The disk glowed a stunning yellow as she held it in her hand. Miss Calendar heard a noise and looked up from her desk frightened. She saw a vampire.

She let out a scream when she saw Angelus sitting at a desk not too far from her own, "Angel… how did you get in here?"

The moments began to blur together. Suddenly he was in front of her, ripping a thin stack of paper.

"Wait! That's your…"

"My cure?"

Angel squatted down toward the computer and put his hands over the flames between them. "Boy, isn't this my lucky day? The computer and the pages, looks like I get to kill two birds with one stone…"

He looked up at Miss Calendar, "The teacher makes three."

Hallways through hallways, they chased each other around the school and Angelus was not far behind. She let out one last scream, and he grabbed Jenny's neck laughing.

"Sorry Jenny, this is where you get off."

* * *

 

***Jenny***

I opened my eyes.

"It was just a dream, Jenny it was just a dream." Rupert repeated to me.

To my surprise, Rupert had me tucked under his chin. He was hugging me tightly under the covers and I cried softly into his chest. I reached for my neck and it was fine and then tried speaking through my sobs.

"I-I'm so-sorry."

"Shh…" Rupert whispered in my ear.

I tried to stop my ridiculous crying as Rupert held me closer.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I-I died! I-I really died!" The realization of my own words put me into shock, I remembered my death; I remembered my last moments; I remembered my last breath. So many emotions were racing through my head like lightning. I couldn't figure if I was furious, devastated, or fortunate to be alive. I had to focus.

And I remembered there was something I never finished; it was the one thing that was quite vivid in my dream, and the only thing that was clear. Angel's cure.

I whipped my tears and caught my breathing back in order. Pulling out from under his chin, Rupert watched me. His puppy dog eyes were only making things harder, although that wouldn't be the first time.

"My class…" I hesitated, "What happened to my… my files and other things I had saved for my computer?"

"Willow has them."

"What?"

"She's filling in as the new computer-science teacher until they can find a replacement. Snyder asked her to take over when…" he stopped, "She, she may have all your files."

His hands gently stroked the side of my face. I wonder if he felt the electric current I felt when he had done this.

"It was just something I was working on. I-I just wanted to make sure it didn't get tossed out."

"She hasn't tossed out any of your things. She is using your lesson plans to teach the class."

I wasn't sure what to feel about what he had just said. I felt I had been replaced. Whatever excitement I currently had for returning to my work had vanished when I realized that I couldn't return. I knew Willow had the ability to teach the class, she was one of the few students that actually cared about the material. However, from the last I remember, she hardly had the confidence to stand in front of the class.

"Sorry for the midnight fright." I said trying to hide my confusing wave of emotions.

"Jenny." His nose was almost touching mine, and he held me tighter under the covers. "Since you are awake, I have something I want to give you."

He reached under his pillow and handed over a small black box. When I opened it, I saw a silver necklace with the letter 'J' charm. The charm sparkled from the diamonds on the 'J'. It was obviously not a cheap necklace as the diamonds were very real. I looked back up at Rupert as hot tears began to swell in my eyes. He kept his gaze down as he spoke. 

"I was going to give it to you the night you died." He paused for a brief moment, I could tell it was hard for him to continue his thought, "But I-I never got the chance."

"Rupert..." I wanted to say thank you but the words just didn't feel strong enough. Instead my mouth froze agape until I could figure out what to say. 

He looked at me.

"I love you Jenny."

I shook my head, watching him, "Rupert this is too much. After everything I've done..."

"Shh..." He hushed me. He grabbed the necklace and pulled it from the box. He began to lace it around my neck.

"The J is for Jenny."

I laughed as tears fell from my eyes, "As opposed to J for Jasper?"

"I-I.." He stuttered nervously, "T-thats not what I meant."

When he finished clasping the necklace, I turned to look at him.

He continued, "I know you had a life before you came to Sunnydale, a-and frankly so did I. But, you are Jenny Calendar to me and always will be. You can be Janna from your Kalderash tribe or you could be Jennifer from work, no matter what J you are, I love you."

I touched his face and dared to look into his eyes. I kissed him and he seemed to know it meant thank you. When I pulled away, he kept his gaze down again as if he was suddenly nervous.

"I was thinking... I-I don't need to go to work later. We can research what's going on at the school together here. The kids can always call me if there is an emergency." Before we had fallen asleep, Rupert had caught me up on what was happening at the school.

"I might be the cause of everything thats happening at the school," I admitted. "Maybe its best you help the kids and I stay behind. Far away from that place."

"We don't know that you're responsible for any of this."

"But it could be the gypsy's trying to torture us," I panicked, "Rupert maybe I'm not really back. Maybe I am just a ghost."

The thought scared me, not knowing if I was really back for real or if I was going to disappear again.

"Jenny..." he said firmly, "I'm not letting you go again. I'll do whatever it takes, I promise."

I believed him.

"Rupert, if you do go to the school, don't tell them you saw me..."

"but - "

"I'm not ready." I interrupted him.

He looked hard into my eyes. I could tell he didn't like keeping a secret from the scoobies. But for now, I felt it was what was best. I didn't want to be a distraction. I didn't want them to know I was alive until I found Angel's cure. First I needed to make things right. And as long as everyone still thought I was dead, no one would be trying to stop me this time.

He kissed my forehead, "Fine. For now." He was clearly disappointed about this decision.

My intention wasn't to hurt him, so noticing how hurt he was motivated me to find Angel's cure faster. The faster I found the cure, the sooner we could tell them I was back. I remembered the yellow disk in my dream and I had to get it tonight. If I got it to work, it would change everything. I knew Rupert would never let me leave without him, but I didn't want him to know about the cure until I was sure it would work. So all night I waited, until I was sure Rupert fell asleep.

Nothing could have pulled me away from his bed that night except for this. It was so important to finish to save Angel.

When Rupert fell asleep I carefully crawled out of bed. Walking quietly down the steps, I put the hoodie over my head that I found in his closet, and walked out the door.

I walked to the school to search for the disk I had left behind. I knew it still had to be there.

I walked to my class and stood in front of the door.

Could I do it? Should I walk inside the room that once held me captive? I touched the door, feeling nothing. Unlocked, I twisted the knob and opened it up. I was frightened. It was almost like an invisible force was pushing me away, telling me not to go inside. Flashes of memory flooded my mind, but I fought it. I stepped inside and the feeling began to vanish.

Do this for Rupert. Do this for Buffy.

I stepped inside and left the door wide open. Never again could I close the door even if I thought I was alone. Then I walked toward the desk. My name plate had been removed and there were several other minor differences. I took a moment to process this; I was no longer the teacher. Since everyone knows I died, it would be a bit frightening, even to Snyder if I just walked in asking for my job back. This part of my life was really over.

I opened the drawers searching… I searched through everything. I searched through everything twice, and even a third time, but it just wasn't there. I turned on the computer. If there was one other place it could be… Willow probably loaded it to the computer not realizing what it was. Since Rupert didn't happen to mention that Angel got his soul back, I figure they haven't found it yet either. Rupert wouldn't forget to tell me that.

The buzzing of the computer turning on made my heart skip a beat and I was watching my surroundings more than looking at the screen. Still nothing. The one thing I had to make everything up to Buffy was missing. I wasn't going to allow my own death to be for nothing.

"Hey I remember you."

At the sound of another voice, I began to panic and stood from my chair. I searched for the voice but it wasn't anywhere to be found. My palms were sweating like crazy and my heart sounded like scary background music.

It continued, "You were here before, on the staircase. You escaped the spirit realm."

"Who are you?" I asked shaking. I wasn't able to see anyone standing around me.

"Oh sorry... I'm James."

The shadow of a person could be seen near the door. The shadow got thicker, and I gasped when a student had formed in the doorway.

"Don't be scared, I won't hurt you." He walked closer to me and my breathing quickened. "How did you escape?"

The feeling came back. The one that wanted to bolt out of this classroom and never return. Only now it was intensified, "Stay away!"

He stopped and the light hit him well enough for me to see him better. He looked to be seventeen, and was taller than me. He wore a Lettered Jacket and was rather thin.

"My goodness, you look so much like her." He said. I guess he was examining me too.

Suddenly it occurred to me, "Wait. Are you what's responsible for what's been going on at the school?"

"Aren't you?" He smirked.

A very dark helpless feeling began seeping inside of me when he said it. "What do you mean?"

With a large smile on his face, he vanished. His whisper echoed in the air around me, "Let me show you."

Run! I thought, but before I could take a step forward, something had rushed through me like the feeling of water being splashed over my skin. I tried to move but I couldn't because something else had taken over. It was James.

*Giles*

I woke up the next morning excited to call out of work for the day and spend the entire day with Jenny. But when I rolled over and opened my eyes, my heart was broken. Jenny was not sleeping in my arms, or even by my side. Without thinking I jumped out of bed and searched down stairs.

"Jenny?"

She wasn't there.

"No! Dammit! No!"

Again, I ran up stairs but she wasn't there. I couldn't hold it in anymore, and let out all my tears. Crying was one thing, but going crazy was another. I sat on the corner of my bed, holding on to the edge.

Rupert why are you doing this to you self? You dreamed this didn't you. I'm going crazy aren't I? Miss Calendar, who would have known she'd drive me insane?

Was she here? The dream was so vivid…

No I knew she was here! She had to have been. I refuse to believe that I had made it all up. Her hair under my fingertips and her lips against mine was something no dream could do justice.

Without missing a beat, I got ready for work.

She was here, I know she was.

She had to have been the reason for this paranormal activity in the school. There was no other explanation for why I saw her.

Maybe when the gypsies tried the spell to locate her they opened some sort of paranormal rift?

The more I thought about this, the crazier I felt.

There was more questions than answers and things just didn't quite add up. But I wasn't going to waste any time. She obviously needed me.

I remembered the promises I made to her before I fell asleep and I intended to keep them.

I got in the car and sped to work.

What if this was just a dream? Giles you're going insane.

Take a deep breath…

Jenny died two months ago.

Don't do this to yourself.

You are only going to make things worse.

It's not the first time you have dreamt about Jenny, and probably not the last.

When I arrived at work and stepped out of the car, an old wine bottle fell out from under my feet and shattered on the concrete. I stumbled around it and continued my path to the library.

I grabbed the rosequartz around my neck and I just knew…

Jenny was here.

*Jenny*

"Let me show you..."

In a flash, I was suddenly standing in the Magic Box. However, the Magic Box looked strange because everything was a different shade of grey. Including the people. A woman with long hair walked right past me and straight to the register. She seemed aggravated.

"James where are we?" I whispered, hoping the woman wouldn't hear me.

"She can't see you," he said. I could feel him standing behind me. "We are in the past. Just a couple of weeks after you died. Shh... listen."

The woman at the register looked up, looking directly at me. "Mr. Giles, I've told you, I'm not selling you anymore magic supplies."

Just then I could feel him walking right through me. Rupert walked through my ghost and moved to the register.

He looked furiously at the woman, "Sanarah you are being ridiculous."

"I'm really not." She demanded, "This is your fifth time attempting to contact or resurrect Miss Calendar, and I told you not to do it the first four attempts. This is where I am drawing the line. You don't understand the consequences this dark magic will have. You are brewing something huge, the entire magic community can feel it, even you."

"That's because I'm getting close." He insisted.

She ignored him, "You're not close Mr. Giles. Not to mention your last attempt was such a disaster that half of Sunnydale now has the flu, including your slayer!"

"I admit, that was a mistake." Rupert put a pile of things on the counter in front of Sanarah, "but look. I'm trying to fix it! The flu was caused by magical means which means I can get rid of it with magic."

Sanarah looked hard at Rupert, trying to study him. She took a deep breath and finally looked through his items.

"Yes," she replied, "Most of this is needed to clear up what you did. But some of this isn't."

She took a few items off the pile and put it behind her. She looked at Rupert and gestured to the new pile in front of them, "I'll sell you this."

Rupert looked defeated, "Please. Let me just try one more time."

"No." She said simply. "I wouldn't even consider it right now until I'm sure that you have taken care of the flu problem."

"But you will reconsider...?" he pushed.

"Maybe." She breathed, "Maybe not. I don't know. Now get out of here, I'll just add this to your tab."

Rupert walked out of the Magic Box with his stuff looking disappointed. James and I followed him to the high school. As soon as he reached his desk, he unloaded his magic supplies, but before he could have time to set anything up. The phone rang. It was Willow.

"Giles, Buffy is in the hospital! She was in a fight with Angel. She's fainted." She panicked, "You better get here."

"On my way."

Without a second thought Rupert put his jacket back on and raced to his car.

What I saw next were just flashes.

Mrs. Summer's looked nervously at the doctor. All of the kids and Rupert were standing around them.

Mrs. Summers spoke up, "Is Buffy okay?" "We were able to stabilize and..." Mrs. Summers interrupted impatiently, "Is she okay?" The doctor looked at her reassuringly, "She's going to be fine." After another flash all I could see was Mrs. Summers and Rupert.

"I hope I'm not out of line, but... I-I wanted to say how sorry I am about, uh, that teacher, Ms. Calendar. Buffy said you were close." Rupert nodded nervously at Mrs. Summers. "Oh, uh... Thank you."

Mrs. Summers continued, "Buffy's been so down since it happened. I mean, she never gets sick."

Rupert looked down guilty knowing that he was responsible for this. At that moment he decided to go to the library as soon as he could to finish the spell to get rid of the flu, "Well, I'm sure she'll be, uh... she'll be fine."

I forgotten that James was standing behind me. He made his presence known when he grabbed my shoulders and we flashed back to the library.

This time Rupert was crying. All of his magic supplies looked to be set up, but he was hesitating to do the spell. He sat in a chair beside the library table and cried into his palms. "I'm sorry Jenny," he said, "But I can't hurt Buffy to find you. This is all my fault."

I watched him helplessly knowing that there was nothing I could do. I was only watching a memory.

He looked up, tears in his eyes, and threw rosemary above him. I thought it would have fallen back down onto his face but it froze in the air above him. He lifted his palms in the air and threw a golden dust onto the rosemary. The Rosemary began spinning rapidly. He put his hands back down, rubbing then together to get rid of the remaining sand. He then began breaking what looked like twigs, and placing them in a small round bowl in front of him. He used the candle next to him to light the twigs on fire. He let the fire spread for a bit in his bowl of twigs, and then poured it out with a bottle of holy water. The mist from the bowl rose to the rapidly spinning rosemary.

"Cleanse the air of my magics." He whispered.

James walked up to Rupert and pointed to his face, "Watch what happens next."

I watched Rupert's face and saw a small tear fall from his cheek into the bowl of twigs. At that exact moment it sounded like there was a large rip coming from above us. I looked up and in this memory of grey, a large purple gaping hole appeared on the ceiling of the library. Whispers and screams started coming from it. I looked at Rupert to see what he would do, but he did nothing.

The rosemary shined a bright white light, and fell. Rupert caught it back into his hands, and began cleaning his mess.

It was as if…

"He can't see it." James knew what I was thinking, "But tears and pain are very powerful. He shouldn't perform a cleansing spell feeling either. His pain ripped a hole into the spirit realm. He had already been doing so many spells to open it that the separation between the two had become very thin in this very spot. He still never had a spell that was actually strong enough to bring you back, and he hasn't tried again. You should be a ghost, but you aren't. You're alive. So I don't know what was strong enough to fully bring you out of the spirit realm."

I do. I thought to myself, remembering the story Rupert had told me about the gypsies last night. Even though the gypsy's spell was strong, Rupert was right, the only reason Illeana's spell worked to bring me back was because the spirit realm has already been teared open. He just wasn't aware that he had been the one to accidentally open it.

Rupert walked out of the library and the door slammed shut behind him. All that was left was James and I in the library with the large purple hole looking into the spirit realm.

"It's not big enough yet for anything to get through," James admitted, "But with no one taking care of it, in about a month this hole grew and I was presented with my opportunity to escape the spirit realm. That's why I'm here." He pointed to the hole, "Because of that. Because of him. Because of you."

"I need to close it." I gasped, suddenly understanding the purpose of all of this.

"NO!" James demanded. He grabbed my hand and in one last flash we were out of the memories.

Suddenly we were standing in the choir room of the Sunnydale High School. Students were roaming around outside in the hallway. Everything was full of color again, except for James.

I ducked beneath a desk so the students walking by wouldn't see me.

James bent beside me and forced me to look at him, "Everything will get sucked back in the moment it's closed. The only way for me to escape is to resolve what's keeping me here. I'm not going back. This is my chance to escape, and the slayer can help me do it."

"How?"

James looked at me for a moment before putting his head down, "I can't contact her the way I can with you. But I've been giving her hints and she'll figure it out. If I can show her my story, maybe she can find a way for it to end differently."

I just felt like everything I was doing affected Buffy. I was so mad at myself for allowing everything to get so out of control.

"What do you need resolved?" I asked, "Maybe I can help?"

"You're not the slayer." He objected.

"I know." I admitted, "But let me try..."

"You might get killed." He admitted.

I remembered the story Rupert told me about last night about the shooting at the school. Mrs. Frank had died last night. But if he was going to use Buffy, she could die. There was one thing Rupert and I had in common right now, and that's that we were not going to allow Buffy to get hurt just so Rupert and I could find each other.

"I know."

For a slight moment I had regretted what I had just said. But I knew it was too late. James disappeared and when I looked up and over the desk I saw two ghosts dancing in the choir room and I began watching his story.


	3. Shattered

***Giles***

"It's Jenny." I said simply.

"What?" Buffy seemed confused.

Xander cut in, "You think she is the ghost."

"Don't you see? She - she died here under tragic circumstances and now, now she's trapped."

I wasn't going to tell them that I had in fact seen her last night. The children have noticed my change in behavior since Jenny died and I know they would just assume that I was being desperate. Maybe I was. After she died, she became my imaginary friend. Last night could have just been another episode I imagined, but part of me knew that last night was different. I just wasn't ready to tell them that I had seen her.

"But what about the gun?" Willow interjected, "I mean Angel didn't shoot Miss Calendar."

"The gun is insignificant! It's the violence of the thing that matters." Which was my way of saying I had no idea how the gun was related to my theory. I walked into my office grabbing the rosequartz on my desk and looking for the book I needed for locating Jenny.

"I don't know," Buffy tested me, "These fights these couples keep having, it's sort of specific."

Willow agreed, "She's right! It's a pattern that doesn't fit with the way Miss Calendar died!"

The three of them made it very clear that they would be stubborn about this. Although I had to admit that they were right about some things, but what happened with Jenny last night didn't fit into their theory either. They were just going to have to deal with the fact that I was right about this and they needed to stop being so rebellious. They were distracting me. I walked back out to politely shoo them away.

"Well, yes, I... I appreciate your thoughts on the matter. In fact, I well, I encourage you to always challenge me when you feel it's appropriate. You should never be cowarded by authority."

I was about to head back into my office until I realized how angry I was at them for not listening to me. I deserved more trust from them than that. I always researched everything for them throughly. Why did they think that this time was any different.

I turned back to them, "Except in this instance when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong."

***Jenny***

James showed me everything. I saw his love for a teacher named Grace Newman, and saw that she loved him back. I saw them dance, I saw them fight and I saw her killed. I watched him kill himself afterwards. I saw the two students act out the memory until Buffy interfered, and watched George, the janitor, and Ms. Frank also act out the memory. Ms. Frank had been killed, and Rupert stopped George from running off and killing himself.

"When they start acting it out, I can't stop them and they will die."

We spent half of the day attempting to think of solutions for James. So far we hadn't come up with anything. In return for helping him out, James kept the choir room locked so no one would interrupt. I was thankful for that. Students would freak if they saw me.

"What we need is someone who won't die when you shoot them," I admitted feeling helpless about this already, "the story might change if she doesn't die."

"That's it!" he shouted.

"What?"

James paced around the choir room. I was sitting with my ear against the door. I could hear the hallways get louder with the students getting out of class and heading to lunch.

"Buffy is the slayer! She could survive..."

"No!" I looked at him, thinking he was crazy, "She's not bullet proof! She'll die. What you really need is a vampire." I joked.

"A vampire!" He agreed excitedly.

_Oh. Wait. That was a good idea._

"Wait..." his excitement changed to disappointment, "It won't work."

"Why not?" I pushed.

"Because vampires don't feel love." He explained, "It won't work unless the two hosts have that connection. That's the key."

"That's not true! What about George and Ms. Frank?"

James laughed, "Please... those two have had the biggest crush on each other since she started working here. He never had the guts to talk to her and she was too scared to get to know him. Anyone could see it. He was about to ask her out just before I had taken over..."

"Oh." I said sadly remembering what James showed me, "That's awkward."

"If only there was a vampire that has experienced love."

Angel instantly came to mind. I stopped myself from telling him. If he knew that the only one was Angel, he would get Buffy involved again and I was trying to avoid that at all costs.

I tried to think of a new solution.

"James," I called to him, "even if we change the outcome, it can't change the past. Grace is still dead. It might not accomplish anything. Maybe... maybe what you really need to do is to accept what happened. Realize it was an accident."

I expected James to fight me, but instead he looked as helpless as I felt. We spent half the day trying to figure out the solution. It looked like he was giving up.

"That won't work," he breathed, "I can never forgive myself for what I did. Maybe we should close the spirit realm - I deserve to suffer for what I did."

"James.. we won't give up. We can try..."

"Wait."

He looked up.

I waited for him to say something but he didn't.

I became impatient, "What?"

"Something is coming through the spirit realm."

Suddenly we heard screaming. "Snakes!""Oh my God!""Run!"

I stood to my feet and tried to run toward the screaming children. But the choir room door was still locked.

"James! Let me out! I need to help!"

"No." He said quietly, "This will be good."

"How is this good?" I shouted at him. "What's going on?"

"A lot of snakes appeared in the cafeteria. They are harmless. The snakes will scare everyone away. They'll be safe. No one will be at the school to play the part. No one will get shot."

"How do you know?" I asked, needing the assurance.

He was still looking up, "I can feel it. I can feel anything that makes its way through the spiritual realm. This will be good, I promise."

I backed away from the door.

_He was right._

"I think it's time." He continued, "We will close the spirit realm. Tonight. That way no one else will get hurt."

I could hardly breathe. If the spirit realm was going to close tonight, that meant I would get sucked back into the spirit realm with James. I knew I had died already but I wasn't ready to give it all away again and lose everything that I just got back. I knew closing the spirit realm would save lives, but it wouldn't save mine. Maybe if I told Rupert what was happening, he could come up with a solution. I had to see Rupert again before James and I closed the spirit realm. Maybe Rupert could find a way for me to stay… or maybe I could at least say goodbye.

"I need to go to the library," I informed James, "There is a book that I'm sure will have the spell we need to close the spiritual realm."

"Good. We will need it."

I heard the door unlock and I left to the library. I tried my best to avoid being seen. With students running out of school, and me running further in, it was easy for me to run past them. They were all distracted.

I got to the library unseen.

"Rupert?!" I shouted, looking around the library.

No one was here. I checked his office, but he wasn't there. I was disappointed. If I couldn't find Rupert, there was a chance that I would never see him again. I sat in his chair and wanted to cry. If I had my rosequartz, I'd locate him like I usually did. But I didn't have it. Rupert had it and I didn't know where he could be. My only hope was that Rupert would use the rosequartz to find me.

I focused on the books on his desk and found the  _Spiritual Realms_  book that I needed.

I sat in his chair and I sighed.  _Where could he be?_

*Giles*

I knew my task would be difficult the moment I walked into the Magic Box.

"No." Sanarah didn't even look up at me as I walked in. Today her red hair was up in two long pigtails. She was counting the money in her register, "You need to leave."

I tried consoling her, "Sanarah..."

"You know..." she interrupted. She looked up at me and I knew she was angry, "You have some nerve coming back here."

"I got rid of the flu." I reminded her, "Just like I promised."

"I know what's going on at the high school Mr. Giles." She walked around the counter to get closer to me, "The spirit realm is open and you expect me to believe that you had nothing to do with it? I told you not to contact Miss Calendar again. I told you there would be consequences!"

I followed her as she walked away, "As difficult as it must be for you to believe, I don't know why this is happening! All I know..." I grabbed her arm and forced her to look at me. She stopped walking and looked at me. I continued, "All I know is that Jenny contacted me, and I would regret it the rest of my life if I never found out why."

She must have seen something that told her I was serious. Her expression became soft. I released her arm.

"You really love her don't you?"

"I do."

She grabbed the book from my hands. "What spell are we doing?"

"The find your love spell." I showed her the pages in the book that I had bookmarked.

"You need a rosequartz," she sighed, "and I'm out of those."

I pulled one out of my pocket, "I have hers."

Sanarah looked from me to the rosequartz.

"This spell only works with the living." she added.

"I know. I think she is alive." I admitted, "I saw her last night and..."

"Giles..." she sighed disappointed. Handing the book back to me.

"Please." I pleaded, "Let me take what I need. If I'm wrong then my spell won't even do anything."

She turned away from me, and started organizing her shelves. There was a long pause. I could tell she was thinking.

"Do what you need." She finally said, "You have one more day. Find her if you need to, but tomorrow I'm going to step in and deal with this if you don't."

"That sounds fair." I agreed.

I didn't hesitate to gather my supplies. I was about to run out of the magic box, but stopped at the door.

"Thank you Sanarah..." I looked at her.

She barely smiled back at me before looking back down to count the money in the register.

***Jenny***

I knew exactly what spell to do to close the spiritual realm because I used all my time to study it. I waited for Rupert in the library for a couple of hours but he never showed. It was becoming very clear to me that the snakes must have also scared him away and I wouldn't get to see him again. I was so mad at myself.  _Why did I even leave him to begin with?_

Then I remembered.

_Angels Cure._

This was my last chance to look for it. I had to make things right for Buffy, and finding the cure was my last hope. Otherwise my death was for nothing.

I couldn't wait any longer. I left Rupert a note, and left it in his briefcase.

***Giles***

I made myself go home to change before heading back to the library. I knew I was close to finding Jenny again, and I didn't want to smell like I had worn the same clothes for two days. Without wasting anytime, I had also charmed the Rosequartz while I was at home. The rosequartz glowed the last time I found Jenny, but it did not lead me to her. Jenny mentioned that she had used this talisman's energy to guide her to me. I needed to tap into that energy in order for it to work properly, and guide me to find Jenny again. I used Guiley's Grimoires in order to find the instructions needed for turning the rosequartz energy into one for scrying. Grimoires were always helpful for creating talismans and giving instructions to perform certain spells. They were my go to books for anything magical. It astounds me that Miss Calendar had found this information online. The information from these books were thousands of years old.

The rosequartz shimmered and I knew it was ready. I grabbed it and closed my eyes.

She was in the library. She was in my office.

My pulse raced. I got excited. She was there. I could feel it in my bones.

I raced back to the library.

Every red light became an inconvenient stop sign. I could have been arrested for my reckless driving except for the fact that my car was unable to go above 40 miles an hour.

I needed a better car.

By the time I made it back to the library, the school looked as if it had been abandoned. I checked my watch and noted that classes had ended a while ago. I imagined that the sun would set soon. I noticed a police car driving up to me as I walked toward the campus.

"Excuse me!" The man inside the bellowed from his car, "No one is supposed to be going in there."

I looked back at the school curious as to what had happened and realizing that I had been out of the loop all day. "What happened?"

"Backed up sewer lines. Snakes just appeared everywhere." He pointed back at the school, "You shouldn't go in there. It could be dangerous."

"Is everyone alright?"

"Yeah." He said relieved. "Some students got bit but nothing serious. These snakes aren't poisonous, but still it could get a lot worse if those sewer lines are backed up."

I assumed that was Snyder's excuse for the paranormal activity. But the snakes were a blessing because it kept the children safe and out of the school for a while.

"Very good." I continued, "Well thank you for letting me know. I'll just come back later."

He smiled and waved at me as he drove away, "Have a nice night."

I watched him drive far enough out of sight and started running toward the campus so no one else would see me go inside.

I crossed the campus successfully and entered the library. The closer I got to my office, the stronger I could feel it pulling me.

This was it. She was here. I knew it.

I took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

"Jenny!"

"What?"

"No..."

Every part of me could feel that this was where the rosequartz was pulling me, but no one was in my office. Especially not Jenny.

I walked further into my office as if that was supposed to make a difference in searching for her.

All that was notable in my office was the empty chair and the lonely briefcase on my desk. It was very clear to me that my rosequartz charm was not working. I had to find something else. Another way to contact her. Maybe she was dead. I didn't know anymore. I was angry and confused.

I slumped into my chair with my thoughts racing what new thing to try. I placed the rosequartz on top of my briefcase. I almost jumped when the rosequartz began glowing. I quickly picked it up again and looked around. I was still alone. When I glanced back at the rosequartz, it was no longer glowing.

"It's broken." I murmured.  _I must have performed the spell incorrectly._

I threw it back onto my briefcase and it started glowing again.

I stared at it. I picked it up.

The glowing stopped.

I placed it back down.

It started to glow.

I began to realize that if the charm was working properly, then it was leading me to my briefcase because something inside my briefcase would lead me to Jenny.

I did not open my briefcase.

I already knew what was inside.

After Jenny had died, I had taken responsibility of burying her. Since she lied about her identity, there was no way of contacting her family. What was in my briefcase was the contract for her grave site and the receipt from purchasing her coffin and tombstone. Inside was the legal papers I had to sign in order to claim her body. I didn't want to open my briefcase because I already knew where it was leading me. Jenny was dead and the rosequartz was leading me to her coffin.

Tears rolled down my cheek.

I picked up my lamp from my desk and slammed it against the rock. The rosequartz shattered.

I suddenly felt lost. My anger mixed with desperation.

All of my hopes of finding her alive had shattered.

I couldn't breathe.

But if she was dead, I could try to contact her spirit again. I still had all of the supplies I had used from trying to contact her before I had accidentally caused the flu. That was all of the hope I had left.

I ruffled through my desk so fast grabbing the candles, spirit stones and oils. I was very sure that I had left my desk in shambles, but keeping my desk organized was not my priority.

I ran back into the library and set my candles in a circle on the floor wide enough for me to be able to sit inside of the circle. I left one candle off to the side. Next I placed the the grey spirit stones in a second circle around the candles. Each stone had a unique symbol etched into it. Once each stone had its place, it was important to light each candle in a clockwise rotation in order to perfectly perform the ritual. I sat in the middle of my circle and grabbed my extra candle. I used three drops of pure and virgin olive oil to rub against the final candle. Three drops were also important. Three was a numerical vibration that opened gateways into higher planes. I lit the final candle, my hands shaking. The flame on this candle became blue.

The moment the last candle was lit, I was granted visions.

I began watching what appeared to be a student and teacher fighting. She called him James. He called her Grace. Their fight began to make them sound like lovers quarrel. I was watching the scene long enough to recognize the same fight from last night.

Buffy was right.

These were the ghosts haunting the school, and it wasn't Jenny.

I watched him shoot the teacher. I watched him shoot himself.

As if I had been woken up from a dream, I began to panic.

The room became cold and a slight breeze had made it's way inside, blowing out all of the candles in my circle.

I had more equipment. I had more supplies. I had more spells to try. I wasn't ready to believe that last night with Jenny wasn't real. The truth was starting to set in that Jenny wasn't the ghost, and that Jenny wasn't alive. But I was fighting it.

***Jenny***

It was almost midnight and I headed back to the choir room, where I knew I would find James. I couldn't find the Restoration Spell and I even tried recreating it on the computer, but none of the correct software had been loaded onto this new computer. It became very frustrating knowing that I was doing everything in my power and it still wasn't good enough. But it was getting very late, and James was right, we needed to close the spirit realm. If we left it open for another day, someone else could get shot and I wasn't about to let that happen.

In the note I left for Rupert, I didn't mention Angel's cure. I knew if I couldn't find it, they did not have the computer skills to recreate it. I had created the programs myself and it had taken weeks to do so. I would be giving them false hope, and I didn't want to cause anymore pain. Angelus had succeeded in getting rid of everything what would have cured him and now there was nothing for me to redeem myself.

This was it.

I walked into the choir room and could hear music playing. James was standing by the record player. He was just listening to the music. I could see with the look on James face, that he had a rough day too. I walked toward him without saying anything. I grabbed his hands and lightly pulled him toward me. I let the music "I Only Have Eyes for You" by the Flamingos fill the room by turning up the volume a little higher. We began dancing. I held him close to me, and he held me back. We both began tearing up, knowing that this was the end.

There was nothing left to do but to close the spirit realm.

"Are you ready?"

"Someone came back to the school." He spoke softly, "But I took care of it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I laughed.

***Giles***

After performing the last spell a heard a choir of doors slam shut. Even the library door made a buckling sound as if it had been locked. My last spell must have worked. I contacted a spirit and it locked me inside the library. This was good, it meant I was getting close. I slowly moved to the library door and attempted to push it open. It wouldn't budge. I used more force and it still wouldn't open. I gave it a few more tries and still nothing. I decided to back up and use my full body. I took off my glasses. I moved quickly toward the door with all my force.

The door pushed open.

I was not expecting to see someone on the other side and we both released a piercing scream.

"God! Willow!" I was trying to catch my breath, "What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be inside!"

***Jenny***

"It's okay," he assured me, "I don't want to hurt anyone else."

I relaxed knowing that he was right. We continued dancing. He rested his nose on my forehead, "You remind me of Grace."

"Seeing as how you killed her, I'll take that as a compliment."

He moved his cheek against mine. I closed my eyes imagining that I was dancing with Rupert. James was probably imagining he was dancing with Grace. I could feel our minds were far away from here. These were our last moments and we wanted to be with the ones we loved.

Suddenly James became cold. His skin became rough.

"They're here!"

"Who?"

I looked at him and saw him staring as if someone was behind us. I turned to look but before I could get a glimpse of who was behind us, James had shimmered us into the library office.

"The slayer is here!" He shouted, "And she brought friends."

"No!"

_They are going to die._

"Get them out of here." He urged me.

"How?"

"Do whatever it takes!"

He disappeared and left me to figure it out on my own. Just then I heard screaming.

"Willow!" I heard Rupert yell.

"Rupert!" I ran out of the library office to run after him but by the time I opened the door and got out, the library doors were swinging open. He had already ran after Willow.

 

*Giles*

I stopped at the sound of the whispering voice and turned around… only nothing was there.

I repeated once more.

"Wandering spirit, I've found through these halls,

Talk to me, find me through these walls,

Jennifer's spirit, if still lingering about,

Guide me toward her, hear her shout."

Then another shout could be heard in the hallways and it was Willow. Dropping the book, I ran out of the library and followed Willow's screams.

"Ah! Giles!" I ran as fast as I possibly could.

"Willow?" I shouted, getting nearer.

"Giles! Giles!" Willow cried.

"Where are you? " I howled turning a corner.

"Please! Help!"

I found her and took a second to sink in the image. She was being sucked into a sink hole at the top of the stairs. I ran toward her, and she was shoulder deep into it.

"Help me! Help! Help! Help! Help!" she cried as her I reached for her hands and pulled her out of the hole. Once she was fully out, the sink-hole had vanished and we both fell down the stairs.

{flashback}

Both Jenny and Willow were holding empty bookshelves against the door to prevent the vampires from entering the library.

"This won't keep them out for long." Willow shouted in Ms. Calendar's ear.

Then slowly something slithered its way around Willows ankle and she noticed.

"Arghhh!" She screamed, and Jenny looked at her and noticed the worm like creature around Willow's ankle.

"Arghh!" they both let go of the book shelves, and Jenny grabbed onto Willow, who was being pulled by this monster. "Giles! Giles!" Ms. Calendar shouted to him as her and Willow fell to the floor.

Then three giant slimy heads had busted out from the library's floor. They were all standing on top of the hellmouth and a tentacle, wrapped around Willow was pulling her into it. Jenny held on tightly to her; she wasn't about to let Willow die.

"Aah!" Willow continued

"Giles!" Jenny Shouted once more.

They were together screaming at the hellmouth monster's head that was trying to chomp away at them. Giles ran up the library steps with an axe, and swung it at it's head a couple times, until the hellmouth beast had flung Giles over the side.

Suddenly the window broke from above them. Glass flew everywhere and everyone closed their eyes. Not to long after, the monster had slid away back under the ground, frightened, and finally letting go of Willows leg. Everyone saw the master's body disintegrating into bones. Everyone watched in awe. Nothing was left but his giant skeleton pierced by the wooden broken table.

"Willow are you alright?" Jenny asked.

"Yea, I think…" Willow replied as Jenny helped her back up. "Thank you!"

"No problem." Jenny laughed when Willow had given her a hug. She was surprised by this and hesitated before returning the favor.

Quickly Willow turned to look at Giles down the steps in the library, "Giles are you alright?"

{end of flashback}

"Giles are you alright?" Willow asked as I lay on the floor, and she sat on one the first step breathing heavily. Forgetting the flashback I just had, I worried more about Willow at the moment.

"Yea," I murmured, struggling to quickly get up, and move up the steps to look back at the sink-hole. Willow followed, keeping a distance, and the sink whole like I remembered, had vanished. All I could hear was her deep breathing.

"Are you alright?" I asked nervously heading back down the little steps toward Willow.

"Giles…"she breathed, and I grabbed her shoulders, "Jenny could never be this mean."

I thought about the failure of my last spell only moments before and agreed, but with a heavy heart.

"I know." I was going insane, and I knew it all too well. I sat down trying to catch a breath, "It's… It's not her, is it?"

"I'm sorry." Willow looked at me weary. I know she didn't want to see me hurting.

Slowly, my heart was breaking and ripping apart. Holding Jenny in my arms, and watching her fall asleep was nothing more than a dream. I knew she wasn't the ghost at the school, like Willow said, she'd never be this mean.

Although the flashback I had right now was rather odd… not only for the fact that it was an event, similar, to me pulling Willow out of a sinking hole, but also because it seemed to be more of Jenny's memory then it had been my own. Maybe the paranormal is playing tricks on me.

My thoughts were interrupted by the mid-night bells.

"Oh, God. Oh!" Willow replied panicking. She ran back up the steps, and I cautiously following her lead.

"Careful up here!" I said, not really wanting to go through that again.

Willow pulled out a lighter and tried to light the candle, but her nervous and sweaty palms wouldn't let her. I bent down and took the lighter from Willow, and lit the candle for her.

She began a spell that I guessed she and the kids had been working on since I went crazy.

"I shall confront and expel all evil…

Out of marrow and bone,

Out of house and home,

Never to come here again."

 

*Jenny*

I knew I had to work quickly.

I looked around and noticed Rupert had a setup of magic supplies, as if he had been trying to conduct a spell. I remembered that this was where the spirit realm had been opened, and I grabbed one of the spirit stones and held it into the sky.

"Spirits roaming in this space, send me a guardian to clear this place!"

The spirit realm appeared in front of me. The large purple gaping hole was much larger than when I had seen Rupert accidentally open it. The sounds of crackling thunder came from the opening and I could hear the screams of many souls. The stone in my hand had vanished. Suddenly everything became very still. A small wasp flew out of the hole and into my hand.

I looked at it disappointed. This wasn't enough.

I closed my eyes and imagined millions of wasps. With all of the magic energy I had stored inside of me, I took a deep breath and blew at the mosquito. Suddenly, the mosquito in my hand had multiplied into millions of mosquitoes and began flying in a large group out of the library.

This was it. I had done it.

I watch mosquitoes leave from my hand and thrust into the hallways of the high school. When the last one left my hands, James appeared by my side.

*Giles*

We looked around, to hear a loud buzzing noise. When a breeze had blown out the flame on the candle, Willow and I looked confused at each other. We both headed back down one last time to investigate the buzzing and then I saw it. An amazing site, a swarm of insects were turning the corner of a hallway and were making their way toward us.

"Oh my God." I grabbed hold of Willow and we ran away from there.

As we raced through the empty hallways, we were joined by the rest of the scoobies running away as well.

"You all right?" I asked panting and continuing to run.

Nobody responded because they were running low on breath, but I knew they were alright. We all got stuck at a locked door, and I tried so hard to push it open.

{flashback}

Jenny was running outside, and got stuck at a locked door. Angelus was catching up behind her and she used all her strength to push it the door and it finally swung open.

{end of flashback}

"Get back!" Buffy demanded.

I did as instructed.

That was weird, once again, another of Jenny's memories flashed in my head.

I'll worry about it later, I thought as Buffy had kicked the door open, and glass shattered.

We all ran outside and away from the school. They stopped following us once we were far enough away outside and Xander turned around.

"Check it. I'd say schools out for good." Xander said. We all looked back, and I took off my glasses to see the swarm of wasps that have taken over the high school.

Nobody was going to get in there anytime soon.

*Jenny*

"You had me worried there for a second."

I smiled, "I did it!"

"You have a lot more power than you think," he smirked, "I can feel it."

"Are they safe?"

"They made it out." He assured me. "And what you did will assure that no one else can get in until we are done. We better get started."

"Yes, we should." I started looking through the supplies Rupert had laid out on the library table.

James grabbed my arm, "Wait. Jenny, why didn't their spell work?"

"What spell?"

James handed me a folded piece of paper. "They were performing an exorcism. I tried to stop them but they completed the spell by midnight. One of them dropped this."

I took the paper from James and noticed it was a map of the school with four stars in different places around the school. They had written names around the stars and Buffy's was in the middle.

"Wait," I dropped the paper and recollected the book I was planning to use to close the spiritual realm. "I saw this shape earlier."

"It's called a mangus tripod. They stand in different places around the haunted area and perform a chant." I flipped through the book and continued reading the page with a similar diagram, "If the spell worked it should have gotten rid of the spirits."

"But it didn't work." James reminded me.

I looked at him confused. I grabbed the piece of paper he handed to me and studied it carefully. It took me a second to realize their mistake.

"It didn't work because the person in the center is supposed to be in the hot spot, where all the bad energy is coming from." I said pointing to the map, "They formed the triangle around where the shootings keep happening."

"I know." He reminded me, "I was there."

"But that's not where the bad energy is coming from." I said pointing at the large purple hole into the spirit realm. "The spirit realm is where the bad energy is coming from. It's here, in the library. They don't know that. They assume it's coming from where the people keep dying. And they are going to find a way to come back and keep trying."

James looked at the spirit realm and for the first time I noticed he was scared.

"Then I guess we need to close it." I could sense his hesitation.

"It might take a while." I admitted, "but I'll get started."

James paced nervously around the library and I watched him carefully. I started setting the rest of the spirit stones in a circle on the floor.

"Someone's coming in." James said. He was very intune with what was going on everywhere in the school.

"What!" I shouted at him, "I thought you said no one could get in."

"It's not human." He said intrigued, "It's a vampire."

I closed my eyes. I felt as if I had been punched in the gut. A vampire on campus could ruin everything.

James continued, "And he knows love..."

_Especially that vampire._

"Angelus."

James looked at me.

He heard me.

"What did you say?"

He started moving toward me, and I became frightened. His eyes filled with anger.

"You knew!? You lied to me?!"

"I-I..."

"Why did you not tell me?" He grabbed me by the neck and I couldn't breathe. I tried pulling his hand away from my throat but I did not have the strength to pull him away.

"He loves her doesn't he?" He spat in my face, "He loves the slayer. You've been trying to protect her all day."

"No.." I cried. The words could barely make it out of my lips.

I was losing consciousness. The last thing I remembered was James throwing me onto the floor.

"I'll take care of this myself."

 

 


	4. Temporary Insanity

*Giles*

"The good news is… none of you girls were shot." I said feeling sorry for neglecting them all day. "We've established, based on all the parallels and, Buffy's visions… it's James's spirit."

"And what do we do Giles? About James?" Willow asked.

We were all sitting around in Buffy's living room having tea and crackers. Except Buffy. She was standing in the door way listening to our conversation and avoided the snacks she'd brought out for us.

"Obviously, he's reliving the night of the Sadie Hawkins dance when he killed Miss Newman. It's, its common enough for a spirit to do this, to… recreate a, a tragedy." I replied.

Cordellia continued to ignore us, "Hey! If Sunnydale High shuts down forever, do we automatically graduate?"

Xander rolled his eyes ignoring the comment, "But why? What does he want?" Then he looked back at Cordellia, "Actually, that's an interesting point."

I continued, "He's, he's trying to… resolve whatever issues are keeping him in limbo. What those are, I'm not…"

"He wants forgiveness." Buffy interrupted.

"Yes…" I paused, "I imagine he does."

I stood up from the couch holding my cup of tea, understanding everything better now, "but when James possesses people, they act out exactly what happened that night. So he's experiencing a form of purgatory instead. He's doomed to, to kill his Miss Newman over and over again and… forgiveness is impossible. "

"Good. He doesn't deserve it." She said foully

I took a moment, and thought about it. James did deserve forgiveness, but if Buffy didn't see that… it made me wonder,  _if Jenny really did come back… would Buffy ever forgive her?_

"To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it."

"No." This one word hit me hard, but she continued, "James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion… and that's not something you forgive, no matter why he did what he did, and no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid. It is just something he's going to have to live with!"

Then, I began to connect this to someone other than Jenny; She sounded more like she was talking about what she did with Angel. The reason we now have to add an 'US' at the end of his name.

I remained silent.

Xander jumped in, "He can't live with it, Buff. He's dead."

Everyone looked at Buffy, and didn't say anything else. She looked around at them, and back at me furious. Rolling her eyes, she walked away into the kitchen.

"Okay, over-identify much?" Cordellia joked.

Without another word, I stood in the doorway. There was simply nothing I could say to Buffy, because I know she'd over react if I told her what she was really talking about. I let her be to sort things out on her own, I knew her well enough to know that she preferred it that way.

Willow stood up, after our long moment of silence. "So what do we do next? Do we go in again?"

I took a deep breath, "Er, not now. No, the, er… the spirit is too angry. Too… too powerful. No we have to work out… exactly how and… and if this thing can be defeated."

"Well, Giles." Xander continued, "I know you were acting bizarre this morning, but I think you just got knocked down to second place."

***Jenny***

I was beginning to wonder if I would ever find myself waking up in a bed ever again. I rolled myself off I the floor and tried ignoring my pounding headache. The library was still empty. I noticed that there were stones and candles everywhere on the floor next to me. It wasn't until I was back on my feet that I had noticed the candles and stones were forming a circle. The sound of a rustling breeze echoed around me. I looked up and saw the spiritual realm still exposed and open.

I wasn't sure how much time I had left, but I had to close it. I thought it was strange that the candles and spirit stones were already set out exactly how I needed, as if someone was already here casting spells. I grabbed the lighter next to the candles and began lighting them in a counterclockwise rotation.

As soon as I began chanting, a gunshot was fired far off in the distance.

_Buffy!_

It was possible I was too late but it was important to continue. However, the gunshot had distracted me, and the bottom hem of my skirt caught on fire. I patted away the fire as quickly as I could until it had disappeared, but my leg was already covered in severe burns. Blood was starting to ooze from the red patches on my skin.

I had to ignore the pain and continue. Closing the realm was the only chance I had to save Buffy.

I closed my eyes and began chanting again. I could hear the spirit stones rattling on the floor as I continued and a breeze lifted the air around me. I could feel the spell working. I opened my eyes and watched the opening begin to close. The rumbling thunderous sounds coming from the opening started to hush. When the candles and spirit stones lifted from the ground, I ducked watching them being sucked into the spiritual realm.

This was it. Suddenly I realized this was my last moment and I was also about to get sucked into the spiritual realm too. I was overwhelmed with despair because I never got my chance to see Rupert again.

The library doors opened behind me.

"Rupert!" I turned.

I watched as a large swarm of wasps gathered into the library. I had forgotten that there were other things besides James and myself that may get sucked back into the spirit realm. I watched the giant swarm of wasps tower over me and it was too late for me to move. I was between them and the spirit realm they were getting sucked back into.

It felt like I was hit by a wall of stingers as they flew past me.

*** No Point of View***

Sanarah drove up to the Sunnydale High School annoyed that she had allowed things to get so out of hand. She felt responsible for the paranormal activity. She had sold Mr. Giles the magic supplies because it pained her to see him be so lost. Trying to contact Jenny brought life into his face so Sanarah let him try a couple of times. When she told Mr. Giles to stop, it was clear he didn't listen.

The school was being haunted. Just after Mr. Giles had left her shop she overheard a couple of customers talking about the infestation of snakes at the high school which sent the students and teachers home for the day. A couple of hours later she had heard about the wasps.

She had promised to give Mr. Giles one more day but it had gotten out of hand. Sanarah was going to end this now. She drove to the high school because she had plans to close the spiritual realm tonight.

Just as she pulled up to the front of the school she rolled down her windows and heard the massive amount of buzzing coming from the swarm of surrounding the school. Sanarah's mouth fell open. She had no idea how she would even get inside the school.

The swarm of wasps she was watching suddenly began to move by flying deeper into the school. She watched until they had disappeared completely. The air had changed and Sanarah could feel the spiritual realm had been closed. She saw a group of people run inside the school after the wasps had disappeared. She saw one of them was Mr. Giles. Sanarah jumped out of her car to chase after him but she stopped when she noticed someone limping through the grass.

This woman limping through the grass had a lot of power, Sanarah could feel it even though she was standing so far away. She assumed that this had been the person who closed the spiritual realm. Sanarah quickly moved toward her. The woman had fallen into the grass as if she couldn't continue.

Sanarah approached her and noticed how filthy this woman's clothes were, and her leg had a huge red burn that was still fresh. She lifted the woman's head to see her face and saw that it was bright red. All over her body were small red bites, as if she had been mauled by all those wasps. She was beginning to swell.

"Hey," Sanarah said, pulling the woman upwards, "I need you to stay awake."

The woman's eyes fluttered and Sanarah could tell she was still alive.

"I'll get you help," Sanarah continued, "but you need to help me walk you over to the car."

Sanarah knew she didn't have the strength to carry this woman to her car. The woman didn't open her eyes but she slowly began to stand to her feet. Sanarah wrapped her arm around her shoulder, and they took one step at a time until they made it to the car.

Sanarah drove her quickly to the nearest E.R. and kept talking to keep the woman awake.

"You closed the spiritual realm?" Sanarah asked, glancing at the swollen woman next to her, "I'm a witch too."

The woman breathed her responce, "I did..."

Sanarah was unsure if it was a statement or a question. She went with a question.

"Yes you did! I mean.. I think you did. Someone did. The spiritual realm is closed now. I can feel the shift in the energy."

"But I..." the swollen woman paused, "I'm still here. I-I wasn't a ghost..."

"Of course you're not a ghost silly." Sanarah laughed. This woman must be getting delusional, "Why would you think you were a ghost?"

The swollen woman grunted in pain. She was losing her energy again, "I-I died." She breathed. Sanarah could hear her breathing quicken. The woman next to her was crying.

 _Died?_  Sanarah looked over at the woman and a nervous feeling grew inside of her stomach. She feared that she knew the answer to the question before she asked it, "Who are you?"

The swollen woman didn't answer. She continued to cry.

"Are you Miss Calendar?"

Her eyes slowly looked over at Sanarah, "Why am I alive?"

Sanarah looked forward again and continued to drive to the E.R.

"Oh." Was all she could manage to say.

 _Rupert wasn't crazy._ Sanarah realized,  _Did he do this?_

Miss Calendar continued to cry in pain. Her whole body ached. She felt like she was on fire.

"Don't worry Miss Calendar," Sanarah tried to calm her, "We are almost there."

By the time they arrived at the hospital, the E.R. took in Miss Calendar almost immediately because it was clear that her condition as quite severe. Her face had become so swollen that it was unrecognizable. As the doctors rolled away the unconscious Miss Calendar, Sanarah was left in the waiting room. She wasn't quite sure what to do. A nurse came out to talk to her.

"Do you know this woman?"

"No." Sanarah responded. She couldn't exactly tell them that the woman they were working on was a woman that had died over two months ago.

"Did you contact the police?"

"No. I brought her straight here."

"You did the right thing," the nurse replied. He could tell Sanarah was nervous and tried to console her, "We will contact the police. It's important we find out who she is. If she needs an operation we can't do anything until we see her insurance."

 _Police?_  Sanarah began to panic.  _The police will only make this worse._

"Wait!" Sanarah stopped the nurse before he could leave, "I think I know someone. He might know who she is."

"Okay," the nurse said, "You better bring him in now. If he doesn't know who she is or what happened then we will have to get the police involved. No choice."

"Understood." Sanarah agreed.

***Giles***

Buffy was lucky to have survived. It didn't occur to me that the ghost could possess someone of the opposite gender. My head just wasn't thinking straight.

After driving the children home, I needed to think. I drove home and didn't turn on my lights. I sat in the dark. I allowed my obsession to bring Jenny back distract me and the kids almost lost their lives because of it. I couldn't allow that to happen again.

The moment I realized that Jenny was really gone for good, I felt like I knew it was time to accept her death. The moment I had with her was just a moment of temporary insanity. I felt empty. Emotionless. A part of me died tonight when I realized that I was done searching for her. It was easy to hide my pain from the kids because I had to focus on protecting them from the real ghost at the school.

I would never let the hope of finding Jenny distract me ever again.

The phone rang.

In the dark, I sat and was very slow to answer the phone.

"Hello."

"Hi," said a nervous voice, "Mr. Giles, it's uh, it's Sanarah."

"There is no more ghost," I said coldly, "It's been taken care of."

"I know." She said lightly.

"Oh. Well if you called to inform me that I can no longer purchase from your store then I should tell you that I fully support your decision." I informed her, "You're right. Miss Calendar is dead I shouldn't try to contact her anymore."

"Mr. Giles," she said softly, "I found Miss Calendar. She's alive. She needs you."

My heart became numb as she continued.

"Miss Calendar is in the E.R., I'm not sure what happened. I think she got through the wasps to close the spiritual realm. She has bites all over her body. The doctors can't operate until they have insurance information. I don't know what to tell them. I don't know what to do. You need to come to the E.R. now or she will die."

I left a long moment of silence. I wasn't ready to speak.

"Giles!" Sanarah clearly impatient, "Are you there?"

"Yes." I replied.

"Then you need to hurry!"

A tear slowly fell from my cheek.

"I'm sorry Sanarah, but you must be confused. Miss Calendar is dead..."

"No! Gi-"

I hung up the phone.

I remained motionless in the dark house.

***No Point of View***

The unsteady beat of the woman's heart was slowly coming to an end. Nobody was in the room now except the doctor, and the dying woman. He was able to gather that she was covered in wasp stings and snake bites. Her face was so swollen that it was impossible to imagine what she must look like.

The doctor was supposed to be calling the police and informing them of the Jane Doe. But he couldn't. He did not want this place filled with the police asking questions. He sighed watching her closely. This woman was going to ruin everything for him.

"This is my first week here and I'm not going to let you ruin this for me," He said to the unconscious woman, "You have no idea how hard it was to get a transfer here."

He walked over to a counter and opened up a briefcase. He reached inside and pulled out a little pink gem.

"In my country, using magic as a source of medicine was fairly common practice. Americans are so pathetic making any use of magic in the hospital setting illegal. I was going to stick to these stupid laws but I can't have the police snooping around. If anything… I need to keep a low profile until I can find Janna, of the Kalderash clan."

With the pink gem in his hand, he held it tightly in his fist and mumbled a few words under his breath. The gem was now oozing pink liquid from the doctors hands.

"Rosequarts… useful little gems." He said walking over to the woman and letting the liquid drip on her wounds, "The only way to keep the police out of here, is for you to live."

The gem in his hands had vanished and the last of the ooze was complete. The doctor walked over to the sink and began washing his hands.

"Well whoever you are, it's your lucky day! You were saved by a gypsy."

He walked back over to the swollen woman and waited for her vitals to improve.

 


	5. Gypsy Dreams

**Chapter 5: Gypsy Dreams**

*Jenny*

###Dream###

I was standing in front of my computer class, teaching away. The annoyed kids that didn't really want to be here were sitting in the back, and all the hard working students were sitting up in front with their eyes focused on their computer screens typing away. I walked by each row making sure they were each doing their work and the people who weren't, I put back on task.

"Miss Calendar!" A student said raising their hand, "I'm missing an important disk for this assignment. I can't do anything without it!"

I walked over to this student and squatted beside him, so we were face to face. "Well, which one are you missing?"

"One that can change a person's life. You have to be the one to find it! Ms. Calendar. It's up to you!" He said starring at me with his worried brown eyes.

I smiled a little confused, "We'll settle this after class okay?"

"But if you don't find it in time, things will get worse!" He shouted in my face.

"Don't worry, you'll have time to finish your work. Go on to the next assignment on the board." I stood up, and was about to walk away.

"But you don't understand!"

"Andrew." I stopped him.

He mumbled something under his breath and sunk lower into his chair.

I walked up to the front of the class, and turned around to look at everyone. Only I could feel something was different, the room got chillier. I walked to my sweater folded over my chair, and I noticed I was naked in the front of the class. Nobody looked up from their computers, but I was still embarrassed and sat behind my desk, and hiding behind the computer.

 _When did my clothes disappear?_   _It was like a nightmare!_

I was scared, and wasn't sure what to do before the kids looked up from their computers. Then I felt somebody wrapping something over my shoulders; a sweater.

I looked up to see Rupert, and next thing I knew, I was fully clothed again.

"If you don't hide yourself better, they'll find you." He said.

I looked back at the class and nobody else noticed his presence.

"Rupert I have a class to teach." I said, wondering why he would come to visit me in the middle of a class period.

"I have something to show you," he persisted.

"I can't just leave the class."

"I got Willow to take over."

I looked up and saw Willow now standing in front of the class and looking over everyone as I had been just a minute before. She had gotten taller, and her hair was long and past her shoulders. Also, she was wearing the same outfit that I was at the moment. I guess she was fallowing in my footsteps.

"Ms. Rosenberg!" Andrew called out to her. "I'm missing an important disk for this assignment! I can't do anything without it!"

Willow walked up to the kid and handed him a bright Yellow disk, "This should do the trick."

The bell rang signaling class was over.

"I can't use it." Andrew said angrily, "It's too late."

_You just couldn't please that kid._

"Don't worry about her, she's doing fine." Rupert said, after I took a while to respond. "Now come on, I need to show you something."

He held out his hand, and I looked up at him. Rupert's had green eyes that were able to hold me, and always held more of a mystery.

Hesitantly, I reached out for his hand. Once my hand was in his grip; he yanked me up and out of the chair and held me in his chest. I pulled away, opening my eyes again, to see that we were now standing in the middle of a graveyard as the moon shined high above the sky. In the distance I spotted a pack of vampires making their way towards us.

"Rupert!" I shouted pointing at them. He handed me a sword without hesitation, and got ready to fight.

If you looked at me holding this sword, I probably looked like a child. It was heavy and I had no idea how to use it. I was getting worried as the vampires came closer.

Then I heard a faint cry behind us. I looked back to see Buffy holding her knees rocking back and forth crying in front of a grave. The tombstone read, "In loving memory of Liam" … Which I knew was Angels first real name.

"Jenny!" Rupert shouted and I looked back to see that five vampires were close enough now to attack.

 _I have to protect Buffy!_  I thought and all of a sudden, when I realized Buffy needed my help, the sword was light, and easy to operate.

When the first vampire jumped at me, the sword moved up stabbing his heart. The ugly faced guy was surprised and fell back. Rupert finished the deed and sliced of the head turning him to dust.

Two more came running at us, and Rupert and I both ran towards them with our swords. With one swoop of my sword, one vampire head fell to the floor, and dust flew into my eyes. Quickly I whipped it out.

When I looked over at Rupert, he was being held at the throat by a vampire. When the vampire wasn't looking, I kicked him in the back. This heavy blow had knocked him forward and Rupert fell to his knees gasping for breath. The vampire looked back at me, and I ran, rolled over a tomb stone and gave the sword another swing. When I looked back up, the sword was stuck in the middle of the vampires face and he wailed in pain. I let the sword go and grabbed a stake lying beside his foot.

Before I could stand up, another vampire had lifted me from the floor and threw me hard against another grave. Thankfully, no ribs were broken but it was so painful that I was hesitating before standing back up. I didn't have the strength. I also couldn't find the stake I was holding, and then felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I had fallen on it. I pulled it out gasping in pain and the vampire laughed. I looked up at him in pain and anger, and used this fury to quickly stab the already bloody stake into his heart. He remained laughing as he slowly became nothing more than dust.

I looked up to see the last two vampires, one wounded with the sword still in his face and one that had swiftly pulled out the sword, unwounded. I was bleeding heavily, and the vampire with the sword looked up at me… I knew I wasn't going to be able fight him. Before he charged for me, I saw Rupert stand up quickly and stabbed the vampire through the back. The vampire heaved forward, and the sword dropped to his side. When he dusted, the wind blew it toward me, and I coughed in return. The last vampire fell on its face, unable to do much more. Blood was oozing from his wound and a puddle formed around his head. I stumbled toward him, grabbed the sword on the floor, and sliced the head with the last amount of energy I owned.

Dust.

Rupert came to my side and examined my wound. Blood stained the bottom half of my shirt, but with a wave of his hand it vanished, and as did the wound itself. The pain ceased to exist.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I didn't answer but looked toward Buffy. She was safe, and hadn't noticed anything that had just got on around her. Not only her but now Xander was at her side, giving her support. I wasn't sure if he noticed that we were standing right in front of him.

"We need to watch over her." Rupert continued, "The slayer needs us to watch her back."

"But you need to stay hidden." Xander I guess apparently could see us after all. "Janna is being hunted, and to keep us safe... Jenny must not spread the news of her return just yet. Not until Angel is fixed, the slayer needs to be focused." Xander said holding on to Buffy. They both sat in front of Angel's grave. Xander never looked at us as he talked, and nor did Buffy.

"I can't!" I said, and Rupert held onto my hand. "I always do something wrong."

"You saved her tonight." Rupert replied, "Jenny," he tugged on my arm so I would look at him again. "I trust that you did nothing wrong. You need to believe that, even though these gypsies are after you."

I just looked up at him, "How can I believe that, when I am the reason for this?" I pointed at Buffy and the grave.

"Will you watch over her?" He avoided the question.

"Of course." I said agreeing. "What about you?"

"Find me." He said, putting something in my hands and closing them tightly, "I need you right now."

"Xander... how am I supposed to move on?" Buffy cried. She was obviously the only one who couldn't see us.

"It's all going to be Okay Buffy." Xander said finally looking up at me with a smile, "We all have our Guardian Angels watching us."

###End of Dream###

Once my lungs reacted to this change, I gasped for air and finally opened my eyes. It was all just a dream.

I was laying in a hospital bed, with a doctor kneeling over me, and light could be seen coming through the little window.

It must be morning.

"It's a miracle!" I heard somebody say, and looked around to see a couple nurses standing by the door.

I sat up quickly examining everything a second time, and it hit me that the doctors really saved me.

"Whoa, calm down." The doctor said, pushing me back down to lay on the hospital bed, "You're going to need some rest. You know you were dead for a second there."

I hid a laugh,  _that wouldn't be the first time._

My legs were still numb but no longer in pain, my lungs were sore, and my eyes couldn't remain open longer than five seconds at a time. It took a while for the astonishment to pass that I was actually alive. Once it had passed, I remembered where I had just come from, and the importance of my dream.

"Rest." The doctor instructed. "Can we get her some water?"

"Buffy…" I sighed through my aching throat.

"Her names Buffy!" The doctor said to the nurse, and she wrote it down on a clipboard.

"No," I breathed. The next words would only be whispered, "I need to make sure she's okay."

The doctor didn't hear me, so I just looked over to my right hand. Sure enough, something was in my hand, this was the something that Rupert had left me in my dream. It was a key _… but a key to what?_

I was not surprised by this; it was my first time having a Gypsy Dream but I heard so much about them that it was not to much of a surprise.

A Gypsy Dream was a name of the dreams that give you warnings, or signs for what's to happen next. They are given at the time when a person life is about to change dramatically, for the better or for the worst, but they are very rare… and depending how you look at it, others say it's an honor to have them. Gypsies can go their whole lives without ever getting one. They are rare but not unheard of. The way you can tell if it was a gypsy dream was if you were given something in your dream, and you wake up with it… then this object has significance to something that will help you. Judging by the name, I guessed only gypsies get Gypsy Dreams.

In my dream I was told to find Rupert,  _but was that really the smart thing to do? Couldn't being around him get him in more trouble than he needs to be?_ But then I was also told to watch over Buffy...

"Here…" the doctor said handing me a cup of water. I took a sip, and my voice came back.

"I need to go." I said.

The doctor looked amazed, "I'm sorry but I can't let you do that. I wasn't kidding when I said you were literally dead."

I heard a beeping noise and looked over to see my heart beat, "Well, I look and feel healthy now."

"Well, uh… um… "

"Please! It's urgent."

"I recommend you stay another day just to make sure …"

"I'm fine! Please!"

"I would like to keep you here for some more tests." He argued.

"No! I really need to go."

He looked flabbergasted and looked over at the nurse, "Can… can you bring Buffy the pills I've requested."

"Ralph, I'm not sure that's…"

"Now!" he demanded.

Without another word she turned red and ran out to fetch the pills.

"Are you sure?" he looked back at me confused.

"Positive." I held the key tightly in my hand.

He laughed, "So are you wanting to leave because you had a nice long talk with the Big Guy, up there?"

"Not exactly." I sat up, relaxing better now. "More of like a sudden realization."

"Gotcha." He replied, "So Buffy, do you have a last name."

"Not one that I'd care to share." I wasn't going to bother him with the fact that it wasn't even my name to begin with. I guess I should stick to the dream and stay hidden.

"I'll take her home." I looked over at the red headed woman that brought me to the hospital, she looked worried. "Did they call the police?"

"No," the doctor shook his head, "There was no need."

"But the other nurse said -"

He interrupted Sanarah, "It is usually protocol. But that's because we thought she was dead. Since Buffy is alive, there is no need."

"Buffy?"

"Okay time to go!" I exclaimed, hoping to explain to Sanarah later about my sudden name change.

I was walking toward the door when he stopped me, "Um, Buffy. I just realized that I have break soon and thought that maybe…" he was turning an even brighter red, and the nurses were ease dropping, "Would you maybe like to go get some coffee?"

"Oh," I wasn't expecting this, and wasn't about to say yes, "um… well, I'm sort of seeing somebody."

"Right." He looked down at the floor, "My mistake."

"Thank you so much for saving my life." I said feeling kind of sorry.

"It's my job." He replied with a fake smile.

***The Doctor***

_After saving a person's life, I was rejected a coffee date, and had to remind her to thank me! Aren't people supposed to be grateful when you save their lives? Coffee wasn't too much to ask was it? I did save this woman's life!_

Heading to the front desk I tried to catch Buffy and give it another shot, she wasn't there. She had left already.

I made a mental note,  _Maybe trying to date the patients isn't going to keep a low profile. Even if they are remarkably beautiful, and you happen to save her life!_

Part of me was outraged. I went to the lady behind the counter. I wondered if she had even remembered to grab her pills, she left so quickly.

"Hey Nancy! Did a girl about this tall, with short black hair come by to pay? I believe her name was Buffy."

"Um…" the girl looked through files, and took out a check. "Well, someone that matches your description just left not more than a minute ago and she paid but her name wasn't Buffy." She said, examining the check.

"What?" I said confused taking the check.

I read the name and was furious. I had by no means, expected this, I saved the woman that I had been hunting down! Jenny Calendar was here under my care! Under my needles and I didn't even poison her! I flirted with the girl too! I was sick at the thought of it.

"Hey Ralph are you okay?" she was worried.

I could feel the tip of my ears burning, and I let my face relax, "Yea. Fine."

I forced the check back at her and headed back toward my office. I needed to get the stench of a traitor of my doctors jacket.

***Jenny***

Sanarah was glad to drop me off at Rupert's house. She believed that Rupert had been the one to bring me back to life and at first she was angry at him. I explained to her that Rupert hadn't brought me back to life, but it was the gypsies. From that moment I couldn't tell if she was upset with Rupert, but she mostly looked scared. It was as if she suddenly wanted nothing to do with Rupert. The Hellmouth and everything we did would definitely bring out that reaction from most people. She asked if she should come with me, and I assured her that this was something I needed to do on my own. I thanked her for saving my life, and I watched her leave.

Standing in front of his house, I knew he'd be at work on a Friday but walking into his home was still making my hands sweat bullets.

 _What would he say when he sees me again?_  It's been what… a whole day, when I just got up and left... when specially told me not too. Only I was doing it to look for the cure, which was a good thing, but got side tracked. My biggest fear was his reaction, when he gets home.

I opened up the door, which I had learned a long time ago, was always unlocked. Looking at the key in my hand and still wondering what it could be for, I put it in my pocket and shut the door after I stepped inside.

I heard a light thump behind me and I turned around to see what it was.

I looked up and saw a pair of beautiful green eyes that looked scared to death, staring back at me. I took a step back. I was shocked. Tissue was spread all across the table, and I guessed the noise can from his glasses, dropping them on the table when I walked in. Rupert was home, crying … and I didn't expect he'd be home. I thought he would be at work, but since he wasn't and was at home crying... I guessed the worst. _Buffy didn't make it... I killed her._

I didn't say anything and neither did he. Both of us just stared at each other, as my eyes watered, tears raced down his eyes.


	6. Unlocking Your Future

*Giles*

Shortly after waking up, I knew I couldn't go to work. I woke up searching for Jenny again. It was an automatic reaction… I had wished yesterday was nothing more than a dream, but it wasn't. After a couple tears and tissues, I called in sick. I needed to take a break from the world and stop trying to force a smile on my face to make it through the day. Buffy has her friends, and I think she'll be fine without me for a day.

And now, after all the racing thoughts and raining tears, here she was again, walked right into my condo as if she'd always lived here.

She was staring at me shocked and also now beginning to cry. I felt embarrassed, I was in my pajama's obviously crying my heart out, and the tissues decorated the table like party favors. I knew she was nothing more than imaginary but I still felt the need to impress her.

After a moment of long silence, Jenny finally spoke.

"Please tell me she's okay…" it was easy to tell that she was holding back tears.

I was taken aback, but always loved how she was unpredictable. "Who?" I asked now trying to also hold in my sobs.

"Buffy… after last night with James?"

"Oh, um… yes she's… she's fine." I answered.

I started trying to look for flaws in this perfect ghost to prove to myself that she wasn't really her, and that it wasn't Jenny; but it was hard, she was perfect.

"Oh," she wiped away the little amount of tears that managed to escape her eyes. She started her way toward me and I panicked. Without realizing it, my breathing stopped. "Well, what's happened?" she said leaning on the edge of the table as her eyes slowly began to dry again.

Feeling the sudden urge to touch my imaginary friend, I stood up from my seat and stood beside her.

Her velvety cheeks rolled under my finger tips and her eyes watched, following my fingers down her face. She looked back at me confused but unable to speak.

"You're standing right in front of me, but your dead." I swallowed down hard and another tear managed to escape, "Part of me won't comprehend that you're still dead."

Confusion stole her face. She reached out and held my hand in hers, bringing it down from her face. "The gypsies brought me back, don't you remember?"

I am not sure if she realized how tightly she was holding on to my hand, but I felt a pulse; her pulse. Frightened, I ripped my hand from her grip as if it had been on fire. I couldn't let myself believe she was here again; it would hurt too much if she left.

"Rupert you're scaring me…" she worried.

I just laughed.

"Oh, I'm scaring you?" I couldn't stop myself from raising my voice, "Do you know what it's like finding the only woman you have ever loved is alive again and… and scared like hell that she's going to disappear... leaving you all alone in this world? That finding her was nothing more than a dream? And when you wake up from the first peaceful god-dammed dream you have had in months… she wasn't lying beside you like she promised? She was gone!" I paused taking a breath, "You're the one who's scaring me!"

*Jenny*

_Oh my Goodness…_

I had just realized what I had done to him, and discovered why he was really here crying; he thought I was dead… only a ghost that haunted him.

"Rupert…" I wasn't sure what to say or even how I could prove my existence. I looked around just hoping, wishing that I had left something here, or anything was around that I could prove it to him.

"It's hard…" he said finally in a calmer voice, but still saddened, "I want you to stop haunting me, but I don't want you to leave."

"I'm not haunting you!" I said walking back up to him. When he noticed this, he froze out of fear and this made me feel horrible. It made me feel like a monster. "I'm real!"

"No! No you're not! When I woke up you weren't here…"

"I left because I had to, but I knew you wouldn't let me!"

"People don't just decide to go out in the middle of the night Jenny, and disappear for a whole day!" he looked down at his feet, "You just can't be here… I created you out of my own guilt."

"Guilt?" I shouted, "Oh, so you have this all figured out already, huh? Well, fill me in… What guilt do you have? What did you do wrong?"

He never responded, instead I saw a tear drop onto the floor.

"You never did anything wrong!" I continued.

"I was never able…" he paused finally looking up at my angered face, "to tell you how much you meant to me." His hand reached out for my face again as he took a step toward me. He sucked in some more tears. "God… I was a damn fool for never finding the chance to tell you that I loved you."

I was unable to control myself when those words left his lips. I had forgotten why I was angry. I wasn't sure how to explain it, but it was like my whole mind went blank. All that I knew, all that I understood was that I loved him too. I occupied the space between us in a hug. I had not one care if he thought I was imaginary. After a second or two, he lightly pushed me away from him.

"Jenny.. please!" he looked back up at me, opening his eyes, "It'll only hurt more when you disap…"

His sentence was never finished. His eyes were locked on my neck. After staring with a curious look on his face."How did you..." his voice faded as he stomped his way upstairs.

"What is it Rupert?" I called after him, waiting at the bottom step of the stairs.

My hand reached for my neck, but I felt nothing wrong. It felt even better than before actually. My necklace was the only thing hanging from my neck. I looked down to admire the necklace. I loved the way the 'J' sparkled in the light.

The possibility that this is what he was staring at, crossed my mind.

_Of course! The necklace he had given me… 'J for…'_

"Justice." I heard Rupert say.

I looked back up to see him standing on the step right in front of me, and a empty necklace case in his hand. He was the happiest I had seen him.

"Ms. Calendar…."

"Yes?" I replied wiping away my confusion. A smile widened across my lips.

"I can honestly say… I didn't have a clue about what I was getting myself into by falling in love with you."

He rushed to me to continue the kiss that we hadn't finished from before. His hands were around my face and through my hair.

"I can't believe it's really you." He said on my lips.

"Trust me, I'm still getting used to it."

After a long moment, we took a breath and rested our foreheads against each others.

"But where did you go?" he asked breathlessly.

Shortly after pondering the facts I was about to tell him, made me realize that sitting down would probably be a good idea. He followed me up stairs and we sat around getting comfortable in his bed. I was getting comfy in his lap.

I decided to tell him everything, starting with Angel's cure. The fact that I had found his cure was a bigger issue than I realized because Rupert discovered the real reason I was murdered. I was ashamed to tell him that when I had gone back to look for the disk, it wasn't there.

"It's alright," he replied, "We'll keep looking for it. But I don't recommend we tell the kids about it until we have found it. It will be to big of a distraction for them unless we find it."

Next, I told him about James. My little trip to the hospital wasn't very pleasing to him. When I was telling him about it, he stopped playing with my hair and wrapped his arms around me protectively. I was debating in the back of my mind to finish it off with the doctor flirting with me and came to the conclusion that his reaction would be too good to pass up.

"I'm not sure if I should be thankful of that doctor for saving your life, or hate him for flirting with you. Dating patients is tacky. "

"Right, and the librarian dating the computer science teacher isn't?" I teased.

"There is a difference…" he paused thinking, "we… we fought demons together."

"Ah, yes, the key to my heart." I replied laughing.

"Well, I…" he changed the subject, "Well, was he any good looking?"

"Rupert."

"Was he?"

"Yes actually, maybe you guys should go out on a date sometime. Really! I can introduce you. He was so cute, Rupert!"

He grabbed a pillow from the bed and hit me playfully with it. I just laughed.

He continued, "Fine, just tell me that part again when you told him you were seeing someone." His smile widened.

"Well, what makes you think that someone was you?" I joked, looking up at him.

"Miss Calendar, you did make out with me twice today…" he said, as his fingers traced my lips.

"Oh… was that supposed to mean something?"

He hit me with the pillow again.

"I'm only joking." I laughed, "I really do love you Rupert Giles."

When he didn't respond, I looked back at him.

"What? Was I supposed to say something?"

This time he laughed, when I hit him with the pillow.

"I love you Jenny."

I looked away, "No. Now I refuse to…"

I couldn't finish my argument since his lips had managed to reach over to mine. The kiss was short, but enough to make me forget what I was saying.

"Are you going to finish your story?" he whispered in my ear.

"Sure." I said, trying to show no weakness. "And they both lived happily ever after."

He smiled, "You said something about a dream…?"

I did my best to explain to him what gypsy dreams were. He had heard about them, making it easier to explain; all I had to do was fill in the blanks. I hadn't explained to him my whole dream, but instead I just told him what it told me.

"Well, I was told not to tell anyone, except you, that I was alive because since the gypsies were after me, it might endanger them."

"That makes sense." He replied, "Buffy also said something to me yesterday… or this morning actually, that made me realize she is probably not ready to know anyway."

I wondered what she could have said, but decided not to ask because if it was something bad about me. I wasn't sure if I could take it… although I probably deserve it.

I just ignored what he said and continued, "It also told me to watch over Buffy. To, umm… protect her 'behind the scenes' so to speak."

"Like a Guardian Angel."

I half smiled.

"I'm not sure I like the idea of you putting yourself in danger. Losing you again would be…"

"I know, Rupert, but it's the least I could do for her. Other than the cure, it's the only thing I can do for her."

He hesitated, "I-it d-depends on what were facing, a-and as long as I am with you at all times."

"We don't know if it's always going to be that simple. Sometimes I may have to do things on my own, and face some tough stuff. I can handle my own."

He didn't reply right away, "Like I said… we will see when the time comes." He went back to playing with my hair and I was a little frustrated and he could tell, "I'm just worried about you."

"I know but don't you think I worry too, when you are out there battling the creatures of the night."

"But it's different Jenny, I'm a Watcher and I have been trained to fight these things, it's my job. On the other hand, you have technically died twice, because of the fact that there are monsters out there. I know what it's like to lose you, please don't ask me to go through it again."

"Will you train me then?" I asked.

He looked surprised, "What?"

"You've been taught to fight them, so teach me. That's what being a watcher is all about right?"

"Well, yes, but Buffy rarely ever needs my training…"

"So you might as well train someone. I'm going to fight those things whether I want to or not. For example, James found me, and now the gypsies are after me. If you don't train me... how will I know how to defend myself."

*Giles*

What was frustrating was that she did have a point. She's living on a hellmouth and things will obviously find her. Training her wouldn't stop me from being over protective though, but it might give me some piece of mind. So I guess I might as well.

"Sure…" I finally gave in.

"Good," she smiled, "Can we start tomorrow?"

"Okay. Tomorrow we'll start with teaching you how to aim a cross bow." I teased and she blushed.

"I'm so sorry about that. It was dark and …"

"It's fine, you've said this already." I laughed, "I was only teasing."

As I looked down to examine the creature resting beside me, I could already tell this was going to be difficult. She was so thin, and so light. I felt like I had to be careful, and I didn't want to break her. Training her with that in mind might make things a little difficult. I did feel that way with Buffy at first but that phase quickly passed once I had faced a true slayers power. Using all I had against Buffy, wasn't much… she could still beat me no problem. Jenny wasn't a slayer, so I had to be more careful. The thought of me bruising her, or hurting her almost made me sick. It was cause I loved her… and I kind of understood why she felt so bad for hurting us.

The poor thing died trying to help us. Now she was left with no home, no money, no job, and nobody other than me at the moment. Although I didn't quite mind that last part. Slowly I was trying to think of a solution to fix those problems, and only one plan came to mind. Also a plan, that I might add, I'd also benefit from.

She studied my face and I looked back at her with a smile. God I swear she was an angel.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked confused.

"You… always you." I admitted.

She smiled blushing a little, "You know what just occurred to me? You know how gypsy dreams give you something when you wake up?"

"Oh, yes, I forgot to ask, what did you get?" I asked intrigued.

She moved around a little, pulling a key out of her pocket. "This key," she held it out for me and I examined it, thinking about how ironic this situation was, "What just occurred to me was, in my dream, you were the one who gave it to me." She continued to study my expression as I held it in my hand, "I thought you might know what it was for."

"Well, I do have one theory."

"Don't you always?" she laughed.

"Wait here," a smile grew across my face, "I'll be right back."

"Hold up a minute England… tell me what your theory is."

"One second, please!" I pleaded.

"Fine." She moved herself off my lap and onto the pillow, "I was only the one who found the key."

I laughed, stroking her leg on my way off the bed.

I headed down stairs. It was your everyday key; no fancy designs, and obviously wasn't an antic. I softly opened up the front door so she wouldn't hear me. Nervously my hand was shaking as I held the key out in front of me, and I knew it was crazy but I had to give it a shot.

When I had gotten back up the steps, the widened smile on my face had Jenny puzzled.

"What is it England?" she asked as I snuggled back into bed beside her.

"Jenny," I was nervous and quickly turning red, "I-I well, I'd be keen on… wait." I paused starting over, "What I want to ask you is…"

I stopped because she looked even more confused. I took a deep breath one last time and tried again.

"…is if y-you wanted t-to move in with me."

She was stunned, "What?"

I handed her back the key, "It's a key to my house. Fits the front door…"

"Really?" she asked staggered, looking back at the key.

"Yea," I said looking around the room, not sure how she was taking the news.

"How did you know?" she asked.

"Lucky guess."

"Really…"

"Well, just before you showed me the key I was thinking about how you didn't have a home, or much else, and I thought maybe we could..." I paused, "I know what it's like to wake up and you're not there." I looked back at her watery eyes for just a moment and then glanced around the room, "Sorry, if I'm sounding selfish… I mean, I assume you've already made plans, or… or…"

"Rupert I…" she stopped.

_Idiot! Just because she got the key in her dream doesn't mean she'll say yes right away! Oh, God, I hope I didn't scare her off._

"I'd want nothing more than to wake up with you everyday."

I looked at her waiting for the 'but...', yet it never came. She meant it. I had never asked anyone to live with me and when she said yes, I grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her against me so we kissed. She was going to move in with me and I was excited!

"Jenny, are you alright?" I asked pulling away. She was a little warm, "You're burning up."

She rubbed away some tears, "Yea, I'm just a little tired… I may have died twice but I haven't gotten much sleep."

"Right." I said jumping out of bed to turn on the air conditioner, "I guess you have had enough excitement for one day."

Before I turned back to her, I rubbed away the escaped tears, that I have been trying to hold back.

Sliding back in bed beside her, she wasted no time reaching out for my face again, "Rupert, it's barely six P.M. and the suns still out… you don't have to go to bed yet because of me."

I hadn't realized we had spent the whole day together in bed, just talking. 

"I want to." I replied. I worked my arms around her as we slept above the covers so she could cool down. I felt bad, she was burning up and I felt like by wrapping my arms around her, was making things hotter for her. Yet, she refused to give up my arms.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?" I asked her, "I've got medicine in the bathroom…"

"I'm fine she persisted."

"Here, let me go get you some. It's no trouble, really."

"No!" she held onto me so I wouldn't move," It'll go away in the morning, after I get some rest."

"Alright… Good night Jenny." I said kissing her forehead.

"Good night Rupert." 

Slowly she fell asleep in my arms… again. I wasn't allowing myself to shut my eyes or fall asleep… for the fear still haunted me that she could just disappear. Instead, I just watched her sleep.

I couldn't explain it but, watching her sleep in my arms had to have been the highlight of my life. I had never felt so happy, so in love with anyone before, and my veins rushed in excitement, making my heart race for only her. I managed to stay up as late as I could to make sure that this time she couldn't leave or disappear.

But for as long as I was awake, she was always there.


	7. Fever, Flash and Fear

***Giles***

* * *

 

The night was young and the wind was light. Buffy, Xander, Jenny, Willow and I were all sitting along a campfire in the middle of the woods. Willow, was sitting a little farther from me but occupied the space between Jenny and I. This I was not too pleased about.

Willow had said something funny to Jenny, and Jenny's laugh echoed in my head, leaving nothing but calmness. Buffy sat beside me and enjoyed to make her marshmallow burn. The flames would get huge. Xander, sitting on the other side of the fire, had already begun to stuff his face with marshmallows. The crackling of the fire had covered up all of their voices; I heard nothing more than whispers and Jenny's laugh.

I watched as Jenny began teaching Willow how to light her marshmallow using magic. Willow really enjoyed this. Jenny would hold out a marshmallow in her palm, and after a second or two, the top of it was on fire. She carefully leaned over to blow it out. It was interesting that the marshmallow didn't stick to her hand. Instead, Willow handed her two graham crackers and she squeezed the marshmallow between them.

She handed it to Xander who took it and stuffed it into his already full mouth.

"Thank you Ms. Calendar." He replied, as bits of crumbs would fall out of his mouth.

Buffy laughed, "Slow down Xan, you're going to choke!"

"I just can't help myself!" he exclaimed, "They are just the best things I have ever tasted!"

"Oh! Let me try!" Willow quickly reached over and grabbed a marshmallow, obviously excited to try the trick. Once the marshmallow had caught on fire, she blew out the flames, and meshed it between two graham crackers, as Jenny had before. This time, she had offered it to me.

"Oh, why thank you Willow." I said accepting the offer. I starred at the marshmallow and favored how it looked like it was almost about to drip. Finally I took a bite and heard Buffy and Willow laughing.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Giles," Xander called out, "You have a little something right here." He pointed to his cheek.

I touched the side of my face and felt where the marshmallow had smudged. After whipping it away, I looked over at Jenny and was quickly turning red.

"Here…" Jenny laughed, getting up and moving toward me, "I'll get it."

Her hand met the side of my face and lightly wiped away the bit. I couldn't take my eyes off her, and her touch made my flesh scream. The pure soul moved herself a little closer towards me, and I met her lips half way.

"Get a room!" Xander shouted playfully. Always count on him to ruin the moment.

"Pipe down, and eat your marshmallows!" I threw back at him. I could hear Jenny laughing again.

I looked back at her and she now had some marshmallow on her cheek. I reached out and wiped it away for her. She smiled.

Past all the trees, slowly the sun could be seen rising from the east. The harmonious yellow cracked through the trees and bounced off the sky. As I looked out beyond the meadow, Jenny grabbed a hold of my jacket, forcing me to look over at her.

It took me a while to realize what I was looking at. Jenny was grabbing hold of me like a shield from the sun as her skin lighted on fire. All over, the fire burned her skin through and her hair. She was looking down towards our feet and not making a noise.

"Jenny!" I shouted and I wrapped my arms around her, thinking it would stop the fire.

* * *

 

I opened my eyes and found Jenny wrapped in my arms and lightly kicking at the blankets. I could feel through her skin that her temperature had gone way up since I'd fallen asleep.

"Jenny… sit up." I said waking her and pulling her up.

She was too tired to open her eyes but I managed to sit her up and leaned her against the headboard.

"I'll be right back." I whispered feeling her warm forehead through my lips.

"Don't leave…" she breathed back, and eyes still shut.

"One second dear." I said, letting go of her hand.

I headed inside the bathroom and opened up the medicine cabinet. The labels were hard to read, even after I turned on the lights. I gave my eyes a couple good rubs, and finally managed to find the bottle of Tylenol. I took it out of the cabinet and quickly popped off the lid. I turned the bottle to the side so that two capsules slid out into my hand. After putting the bottle back into the cabinet, I headed back out to Jenny who was exactly the way I left her.

"I'll be right back with some water." I handed her the two pills and finally her pink eyes had opened.

"I don't need any water." She insisted but I didn't listen.

I turned on the air conditioner the highest it would go and then quickly headed back upstairs with two bottles of ice cold water.

I handed one to her but she had already taken the pills. Still, she drank some as I pressed the other one against her heated forehead.

"I'm sorry Jenny I shouldn't have let you…"

"Sleep in your arms?" she looked over at me, "don't be sorry for that." She almost laughed but a cough came out instead.

I replaced the bottle on her head with my hand to feel her temperature. Only now her head was moist, and still warm.

"You're burning up." I worried, holding the bottle against her skin again.

"It'll pass."

"I'm not taking any chances." I hurried out of bed and went to fetch the thermometer.

"What are you doing now?" she asked. Her voice could barely pass a whisper.

"I'm going to check your temperature."

"Planning to use a recto-thermometer?" she joked, coughing again.

"Don't tempt me." I glared back at her, now with the thermometer in hand, "Say Ah."

"Don't you think your being a little…"

"Jenny."

She stuck out her tongue, "Ahhh…."

"You're such a child." I teased sliding the thermometer under her tongue. I carefully kissed her warm cheek. "Now no talking." I put my finger to her lips.

Her exhausted eyes closed once again and she leaned her head against my shoulder. I had offered her a pillow in place of my shoulder and she refused it. The cold was starting getting to me, but I could feel Jenny sweating as if she had just run a marathon in the middle of summer. Shortly after two minutes had pasted, I checked the thermometer.

"Whoa," I said worried, "Let's get you into the car."

"I feel fine!"

"Come on, I want none of that now." I said pulling her out of bed and into my arms.

"I don't want to see that doctor again." Her scratchy voice managed. She was obviously still tired and wouldn't open her eyes.

"Your health is way more important than that bag of thorns." I replied.

Carefully cradling the little creature in my arms, I carefully, but quickly, headed down the stairs and into my car. She slowly began waking up when I slid her into the passenger seat. I buckled in the belt for her and once I was positive that she was safely inside, I shut the door.

Before I started the car, she looked over at me and her warm hand touched my bare chest where the top button had come undone in my shirt. Her fingers rustled through the hairs on my chest and like my dream, my skin screamed.

"You're still in your pajama's." she said in a soft voice.

I swallowed hard, lost in another world and had to search hard for my next words. "Yes… it seems I have f-forgotten about that." Once her hand had fallen back down to her side, I quickly fixed the button that had gotten loose, "N-no matter. We should get you to the hospital."

On our drive, the street lights were all that had lightened the road. The moon was out and many of the alive people were asleep. That was usually a good thing for me. It meant fewer cars on the road to yell at me or make so much blasted noise with their idiotic horns because of how slow my out dated car was.

Jenny peacefully held out her hand and entwined her fingers with mine. When I looked over at her she had already drifted to sleep. She has gone through so much in the last couple of days, and even with her fever, she looked peaceful.

When I approached a red light, my free hand reached over toward her heated head. Still no change. When my hand moved away from her cheeks, she lightly awoke.

"Rupert…" her eyes remained closed and she shifted around a bit. When she took a while to respond, I looked back at her.

"I know your fine." I finished for her.

Worried about Jenny, once I parked into the parking lot, I pulled her out of the car and into my arms so she may continue to rest.

The hospital was quiet, for Sunnydale that was weird, but convenient. I was not here too long ago, so it was easy to make it through the hospitals 'Maze'. Once again, not sure it was a good skill. Once we reached the waiting room, I sat her down in the chair.

"Rest." I whispered into her ear.

"Oh, is she okay?" said a worried voice behind the counter.

I looked back to see a woman looking over from behind her counter and over a Jenny. I froze for a second. This woman was TALKING about Jenny. This woman could SEE Jenny. I smiled looking back at Jenny and moving some stray hairs back behind her ear.

"She has a really high fever." I turned back to the girl and started walking toward the counter, "Last I checked, it was 102."

"Poor girl," the lady said behind the counter. I noticed her name tag read Nancy. "Wasn't she also here this morning?"

"Wow, long shifts…" I had taken the clipboard she had passed over to me.

"Pays the bills. Well, I think Ralph wanted to speak with her but she had already left. I can call him over and I bet he'll help you out."

"Ralph you said?" I thought she probably meant the doctor.

"Oh, yes, her doctor she had earlier. He is amazing! He's taken over for a doctor that had died a while back…"

_Sad how I knew who she was speaking about._

"…and he has really done some amazing things. He can accomplish so much in one day, I mean just look around! The hospital has never been this empty since I've worked here!" She looked pleased. I wasn't.

"Well, I bet your other doctors are hard working too."

"Yea, they're alright."

"Well, let's bring him here then," I said a little challengingly, "Maybe he can ask me what he needed to ask Jenny."

"Of course." Her smile was so wide when she dialed the numbers on her phone.

I headed back to sit beside Jenny but instead stopped half way. Jenny was there, and could be SEEN. My mood changed. Happy. I looked back at Nancy.

"I realize this is probably a weird question but… you really see her?"

"See who?" she asked.

"Jenny…" I motioned toward her.

"Oh yes… poor thing looks exhausted. If you wish, you can put her in the room right over here." She got out from behind her counter and walked a little down the hall and opened a door. She checked inside to make sure it was empty. "And I'll make sure the doctor knows you're in there."

"Right." I paused, "but… but you really see her?"

"Yea…" she said looking at me a little confused.

"Great… I mean," I looked over a Jenny, "Thank you."

"No problem!" I heard her say, "I hope she feels better!"

"I knew it!" I whispered, lifting Jenny back into my arms. I then turned red and was embarrassed when I saw a smile stretch across Jenny's face.

*Jenny*

Rupert and I were waiting inside the hospital room for the doctor. The last hour I had been in and out of sleep and lucky enough to wake up and hear him talking about me. Sadly, my moment of rejoice couldn't last long. I was sweating uncontrollably and extremely tired. It came to a point where even the pillow in the hospital bed was to much to handle. The doctor seemed to be taking forever, but I didn't mind, didn't really wish to see him any time soon. Although, I felt bad for thinking that… he did save my life.

Rupert was sitting next to the bed and I laid on my side, starring at him. He looked to be half asleep and I didn't blame him. It was really late and he has been carrying me everywhere.

"You can lie down in the other bed." I said referring to the empty bed that was also in the room.

"It's okay. I'd rather be close to you."

"But you look tired…"

"I'll wake right back up when that doctor walks in here." He said.

"Rupert don't do anything embarrassing okay?"

"Never." He winked.

"Urgh…" I rolled my eyes, "men!"

"You know for being sick, you're rather bubbly."

"Nah… just happy." I traced my finger around his lips.

"Me too." He smiled.

"You know what?" I said pulling my hand back to my side, "I'm scared that the hospital is becoming a common place for us. I mean you were here with Buffy not too long ago and I was here just this morning."

"Well, I'll make sure this doesn't become a habit."

I was trying to hide the pain of my splitting headache but Rupert seemed to know anyway. His hand rubbed the side of my head that was hurting and I started to relax.

"Just relax, you'll feel better."

"Well how did I catch a fever in the first place?" I said a little frustrated.

"I'd imagine because your body needs some time to rejuvenate… to uh, start functioning again. With all the excitement that going on, I can see how that triggered your temperature to rise."

"Yea, I guess dying again would confuse my insides."

He paused, "I guess it wasn't the best time to ask you to move in with me was it?"

I didn't even bother to answer such a stupid question. Instead, I drove in for a kiss. His lips didn't respond and I felt childish.

"Sorry… I don't want you sick too. I wasn't think…"

"Oh Jenny, do you really think I give a damn?" he pulled me towards him again, and he responded. Definitely. Then I heard the door open and I slowly pulled away from Rupert. I looked over at the person who opened the door and saw the doctor. He was watching us and his face was bright red.

"Y-you have a fever. Right. I'll be back with the ice packs." He left shutting the door behind him.

I bit my bottom lip and looked back at Rupert. His smile was so wide that it was easy to tell that he was hiding in a laugh.

"Did you see how red his face was?" he said proud.

"Urghh…" I laid flat on my back, "Rupert!"

No longer able to hold in his laugh, he let it out and stood from his chair to look over at me.

"I'm wide awake now." He said.

"Great," I looked up at him, "Is that what you're going to do all night? Piss off the nice doctor."

"You never said he was nice," he said sounding offended.

I continued, "I'd rather not have an angry doctor."

"You started it." He bent over and kissed my cheek.

"I know." I gave in, "Sorry."

"Nah, I liked it." He smiled kissing my forehead and then touched it with his hand, "Would you like me to get you ice cold water?" he tried to make it sound appealing, "or…"

{flashback}

"Or would you like something else?"

"No thanks," Jenny said.

Both Rupert and Jenny were sitting down at a table talking and watching all the students dancing at the Bronze and celebrating the end of another year. Of course the Scooby gang was also celebrating the fact that they had just saved the world and defeated the Master. Other teachers that showed up at the party were sitting around in scattered groups talking about their plans for the summer. Ms. Calendar and Mr. Giles had a table to themselves off to the side.

It seemed a little weird that principle Snyder would come by and talk to them every so often, but Giles knew very well it was because out of the little friends Snyder had, he considered Giles to be one of them. It was never to clear on why that was. When things would get quiet at Mr. Giles and Ms. Calendars table, Snyder would roam away to another table and tried to make friends.  At the moment, both Mr. Giles and Ms. Calendar were alone.

"So how are you doing?" Giles asked, feeling concerned and hoping that the events of that night had not scared his new friend too badly.

"Considering the fact that Willow and I were almost eaten by the hellmouth… I'm feeling pretty good. It feels good to save the world." She replied and Giles was glad to hear that she wasn't planning on avoiding him.

"Yea, I hear it's extraordinarily healthy and soothing for the soul." He said, hoping to get a laugh. He succeeded.

"You're an amazing watcher," Ms. Calendar said, "not only did your slayer die, kill the master, and save the world, but she did it all wearing a dress and still has the energy to party!"

He laughed, "Yea, I've tried before… didn't work out."

"Must have been the dress." She teased.

"That's also what I've concluded." He laughed, "Well, with Buffy, I've tried my best to train her but she really only listens to half the things I say. The Watchers Council also does nothing but insult me about it."

"What do they know?" Ms. Calendar said trying to bring Giles out of his sad little bubble. "They wouldn't be able to save the world if they tried. While they are off and hiding in England, they expect the slayer to fight it all off for them. You're different, you were going to give your life to protect your slayer. That was incredible. By the way…" She looked over at his curious eyes, "for the record, I wasn't going to let you go alone. But then Buffy knocked you out, so I decided to stay and make sure she didn't accidentally kill you."

Giles laughed and was pleased that she noticed his brave, heroic behavior. He also began to notice how funny she was.

"I'm also guessing that the Watchers council doesn't approve of the slayer having a vampire boyfriend." Ms. Calendar said watching Buffy and Angel as they danced together.

Xander and Willow were dancing a little faster and off beat with the music but they didn't care, they were having fun.

"How did you know Angel was a vampire?" Giles asked.

"Oh, um… you mentioned it earlier."

"Oh… well, the council doesn't know and I don't plan to tell them, but they don't approve of most of the things that Buffy does."

Things got quiet at the table and they watched the Scoobies dance the night away. If it wasn't for their random scratches and bruises, It would have been as if nothing had even happened that night.

 _Maybe I should ask Ms. Calendar to dance._ Giles thought to himself.  _Or maybe not, why should I scare away the only older friend I have that knows our little secret._

_Great! Now if I don't ask her, I'm going to regret it all summer! Woah, she looks gorgeous today. Well, she does every day. Oh dear, get ready for a summer of regret._

"So you up for a dance or two?" Ms. Calendar asked looking back at Mr. Giles.

"mmm… a-a what?"

"You know, what people usually do at parties? Come on…" she stood up and grabbed Giles hand, dragging him to the dance floor. The song changed from a fast beat one, to a slower, calmer melody.

"O-o-okay." He said, struggling to get off his seat.

Ms. Calendar turned to him once they were on the dance floor and put her arm over his shoulder. Her other hand remained holding his. She slowly leaned her head against his chest and Giles was nervous. Turning pink, he hesitated putting his arm around her waist. And they danced.

Giles focused on trying not to make a fool of himself. He knew that if the Scoobs caught him dancing with Ms. Calendar, he was going to be harassed by them all summer. Yet part of him didn't really care. He was enjoying this. He was trying really hard to not accidentally step on her toes.

"Y-you… are a g-good dancer."Giles said.

"You're pretty good yourself!" She smiled. "And to top it off… you smell really good. How were you not sweating like crazy fighting that monster?"

"No clue." He laughed, "You know, you smell pretty good yourself."

"What, you mean better than a computer?"

"… and musty old books."

"Bonus!" Ms. Calendar said sarcastically.

She looked up at him, and for a moment they were lost in each other's gaze.

 _What are you doing Giles?_ He thought.

Slowly they had gotten closer, lips closing in on each other.

"Home…" Ms. Calendar murmured when their lips were about to touch.

"What?" he asked confused, almost in a whisper.

"I better get home… it's pretty late and I'm exhausted." She said not opening her eyes.

"A-are you sure? I-I can drive you home if you like…"

Ms. Calendar opened up her watery eyes and fought back the tears that wanted to roll down her cheeks.

"No, it's fine…" Ms. Calendar gave Giles a hug, which caught him by surprise and she continued, "Thank you so much for this dance."

Giles couldn't let her go without knowing if she was now officially scared away by him. He was really worried.

"M-maybe we can do this again sometime?" he asked.

"Definitely!" she smiled grabbing her coat, "I'm counting on it. How about my birthday? It's July 7th."

Giles smile erupted from excitement, "Of course. I can schedule in some time on my calendar for Ms. Calendar."

She reached out for his hand and starred out at him one last time. She savored the moments where her fingers were entwined with is, "Well, Goodbye England." She said and walked out of the Bronze.

Giles smiled as he watched her walk away.

{end of flashback}

"Okay, what just happened?" I asked really confused.

Rupert looked at me with a serious look painted across his face, "You mean to tell me that you saw that too?" I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was beyond confused, "So then it's not just me."

"Not just you? Rupert that's my second flashback… and you mean to tell me that you had others too?"

"N-not exactly…" he said sitting back down, "Yes, I've had quite a few but they have all been in your point of view… y-your flashbacks. But I don't understand how, or… or why."

"Well," I said jumping in, "let me make this more confusing for you. The flash backs I have been having are your memories. In your point of view too."

"Are you sure?" he looked at me.

"Positive." I said remembering the one flashback I had at the cemetery.

"Well… I… uh…"

"You don't know what's causing it?"

"Not a clue." He took of his glasses for a moment.

I thought about this for a bit. It was in fact a weird situation. To trade memories is odd but flashbacks are rare and the ones Rupert and I keep having seem to be triggered, like they can happen all the time. 

"Do you think…" I paused realizing my mistake, "no wait, never mind."

"What is it Jenny?" He asked putting his glasses back on.

"Never mind, it wouldn't make sense."

"Honestly, any theory is better than none."

"Okay well, what if it has something to do with how I returned? Only it doesn't explain how you're getting them too." I admitted.

"I-it could possibly be a… a side effect of some sort. I can look more into that, since that's really our only lead." He said starring off into space. He was lost in thought.

"If in the flashback you start to see anything that could be considered embarrassing… close your eyes."

"Technically, I am not sure you can…"

"Well, try." I persisted.

"I don't know," he said leaning forward in his chair and resting his head beside mine, "I kind of enjoyed that last one." I loved when his goofy smile was painted across his face.

"Were we watching the same thing?" I joked.

"Well, it was nice getting to see it from your point of view."

I blushed looking back down. While I relished in that last memory, I realized I needed to take a quick trip to the ladies room.

"Hey Rupert, I need to use the bathroom."

He leaned back up in his chair, "I'll show you where it is."

"No, I think you should be here when the doctor gets back. You can tell him where I went."

"In that case, I'll wait right here."

"Be nice." I said heading out.

"I bet he can't save the world in a dress." He exclaimed.

"Neither can you." I reminded him, closing the door behind me.

Heading out of the bathroom and back to the room, I heard shouting. Worried that it was Rupert and the doctor, I followed the voices down the hall.

Relief over came me when I saw the doctor yelling at somebody that I had never seen before. I hid behind the corner, away from their view, and listened in. I was so tired that the wall was a good support.

"Ralph you have done some amazing things the past two days…" said an Asian man also in a doctor uniform, "but take a break! That woman has a fever and something can go badly wrong if you don't go and help her right now!"

"I'll be back to help her, calm down, I know what I am doing."

"Look I don't care about how high and mighty you think you are! That woman can actually die from a common fever because you want to start setting up for a heart transplant surgery that's not even taking place until tomorrow!"

"I have my reasons…" Ralph explained.

"Oh, I bet you do, but so do I. You have had your moment of glory so save it okay? Plain and simple, is that too hard for you? Go get the girl some damn ice packs!"

"I don't think…"

"I am fully aware that you are not thinking at the moment, so I'll think for you. I don't care about how you get things done in Romania, but you're in America now and on my turf! You don't go help that poor girl… your fired."

_Did he say Romania?_

"You can't fire me." Ralph said dumbstruck.

"Why? You don't think I would just because it's your second day?" a fierce look was in the Asian mans eyes. "Try me."

After a long moment of silence, Ralph watched helplessly as the Asian man stomped away angrily.

Ralph's back was facing toward me but I watched him as his hand nervously rustled through his hair.

"Tiganii nu va fi multumit." He said in Romanian almost sarcastically.

Yet, when he said that, I froze. He turned around and his eyes got wide when he saw me. I was scared and so was he. I translated the Romanian easily in my head…

_The gypsies will not be pleased._

I stared up at him almost crying, "You got to be kidding me." I said in an angered tone.


	8. Mental Slaps

**Chapter 8: Mental Slaps**

Ralph (Roffie/Doctor)*

I was in the supply closet slightly annoyed with everything. All Janna has is a fever, and how was I to pull off a murder with that? I could let her burn to death… and that seemed like the best plan at the moment. With that SNOB of a boyfriend she has, surely he can contribute to the death of his tramp by not letting her get any rest.

_What does she see in him? ...he's got to be fifty! I would be much better for her and better suited for her age limit!_

I had to mentally slap myself for that.

_Focus, she is the enemy._

Well, I will take what I got and decided that in the meantime, (while waiting for Janna to burn) I can start getting the room ready for the heart transplant I was going to perform tomorrow. An old lady named Lucy was going to get her heart from a heart donor that has no records from his past life but has a healthy beating heart, which is all that really matters. Dead people with beating hearts was the only thing that's creeped me out about heart transplants.

As I was heading out, somebody opened the door. The Boss.

"Hey Ralph! I was just looking for you."

_Great, more distractions!_

"Oh, what's up? And by the way, why don't you tell me about your day… don't hesitate to add details."

He gave me a weird look and closed the door behind us when we were back out in the hallway.

"I've had a good day, thanks. Are you feeling alright?"

_For someone who's planning a murder…_

"Yea, I am quite chipper."

"I have noticed. Well, I wanted to find you to ask you about the girl that just came in, the one with the fever."

"Oh, right." I paused, "She's hot alright."

He gave me another weird look.

"Hot… as in her temperature." I corrected.

_Another mental slap._

"Yes… well, I noticed she was the girl from earlier… the one who died! Am I right?"

_Hmm… this is no longer a safe conversation. Escape now while I still can!_

"Yes actually. I guess the girl is trouble." I patted his shoulder, "Well, I am sorry but I am rather busy at the moment, the heart transplant room is a mess and I better clean it up. I'll find you when I am done!" I turned away, and started walking.

"Excuse me…" he demanded, "…the girl?"

I stopped and looked back at him a little frightened, "Umm… yes she, she…"

"She died! I think she needs more attention than a messy room at the moment."

"No…"

"NO? Did you just tell me, no?"

"Yes… I mean, maybe, but I have a reason to believe she will do fine without me for a bit."

"Fevers can be fatal!"

"So can small pox but you don't see people giving heart transplants in messy rooms." I took a breath beginning to really regret what I just said, "Look, think about all the things I have done in the past two days… don't you think you can trust me with this little notion?"

"Ralph you have done some amazing things the past couple of days… but take a break! That woman has a fever and something can go badly wrong if you don't go and help her right now!"

_That's a no…_

"I'll be back to help her, calm down, I know what I am doing."

"Look I don't care about how high and mighty you think you are! That woman can actually die from a common fever because you want to start setting up for a heart transplant surgery that's not even taking place until tomorrow!"

_I_   _didn't really think this all the way through…_

"I have my reasons…" I explained, and tried to lower our volume.

"Oh, I bet you do, but so do I. You have had your moment of glory so save it okay? Plain and simple, is that too hard for you? Go get the girl some damn ice packs!"

I guess you can't yell at each other with quiet voices…

"I don't think…"

"I am fully aware that you are not thinking at the moment, so I'll think for you. I don't care about how you get things done in Romania, but you're in America now and on my turf! You don't go help that poor girl… your fired."

I stood there dumbstruck. After everything I have done, he can't fire me! Has he looked around lately? Did he notice how quiet this hospital was once I got here? He can't fire me! I have done too much for this town!

"You can't fire me." I said.

"Why? You don't think I would just because it's your second day?" a fierce look was in his eyes. "Try me!"

After a long moment of silence, I watched helplessly as the boss stomped away angrily.

I had one mission being sent here. Kill Janna and bring her to the gypsies. _Well, actually it was to just bring her to the gypsies but I don't think they would mind her being dead or alive._  Now she was in my grasp... but if my brother heard I got fired in the process, it would be a lifelong struggle to live that one down. Yet, my brother wasn't the issue, I had to do what needed to be done for the gypsies. I was going to need more time, and once the gypsies hear I saved her life…!

I nervously rustled my fingers through my hair and turned around.

"Tiganii nu va fi multumit." I said sarcastically.

I turned around and Janna was standing behind me. My eyes widened in fear. She was almost crying, and leaning on the wall for support. I wondered how much she heard, but since I wasn't sure, I had to assume the worst.

_Idiot! She heard you say it! (The gypsies will not be pleased.) Think of a lie and fast!_

"You got to be kidding me." she said in an angered tone.

"Jenny… you, you don't understand!" I said walking toward her.

"You're one of the ones who are working for the gypsies! You knew this whole time, who I was…" she said slightly confused and putting her hand to her head.

"No, I'm not… Please let me…"

"Get away!" She said so angry that it even scared me. She backed away quickly and I stood still frightened.

"Please! Let me explain!"

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" she cried, "All of you!"

Without another word she rushed down the hall and I just watched. The cold ice packs seemed to burn in my pocket. What was I going to do now? I lost her trust… but…

_You fool! Why would a gypsy save her life?_

Finally it occurred to me to run after her.

"Wait! Jenny!" I yelled once I caught up to her, but she didn't stop, she just hurried to her room and I continued, "If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have done it by now? Jenny… I brought you back from the dead!"

She hesitated opening the door, and obviously giving it some thought. Then, she finally went inside but a little slower than someone who wouldn't have believed me. I knew I had her.

I waited outside for a moment. Giving me time to develop my lie and catch a breath. I am not sure what my brother is doing to get her, but I definitely had the upper hand.

Walking inside I was a little worried but kept my cool.

"Well, no sign of the…"

The Englishman stopped talking when I walked in and rolled his eyes.

"Speak of the devil."

Jenny was sitting on the hospital bed and looking a little confused, and her boyfriend didn't take his eyes off of me.

"What? Where you out of icepacks?" he persisted,"… Because honestly, I think I have some at home."

"Oh," I reached into my pocket and pulled out the two I had brought. "No, they still had some."

I handed it to him and his anger lifted off of me and changed to worry for the girl. Relieved she didn't have time to explain to him what happened, I put on my foam mask to prevent myself from getting sick. I turned back and watched the obvious connection between the couple. His green eyes were locked on hers as he sat beside her and held the ice packs against her warm cheeks. She was now lying down and smiled up at him. Her smile made me smile behind my mask. When I looked back at him, the smile disappeared.

"Rupert…" she said reaching out for his face, "Look, I think you should go get those books we were referring to earlier."

"Books?" he asked confused.

"For research on… on the paper you need to write…" she paused and he looked even more confused, "…about the purpose of flashbacks."

"Oh, right." He sat up straight, and looked back at me for a brief moment, "but now? I-I can wait…"

"We will be here for a while and since you refuse to sleep, it will give us something to do." His fingers tickled her cheeks and he leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Five minutes top!" he stated.

_Perfect, all the time I need._

"Perfect." She smiled.

He glared back at me, and whispered something in her ear.

She kissed his cheek. "I promise." she replied.

Rupert grabbed his sweater that was folded over his chair and put it on. He stared back at me but this time he looked a little confused, "I am sorry… but have we met before? You look kind of familiar…"

"Umm…" I studied him. The fact that I've never been outside Romania before made that thought simply impossible. "No I don't believe I have ever seen you before."

"hmmm…" once his jacket was on he looked back at the girl, "I love you."

"I love you too." She said as he walked out.

I hid a laugh. "He doesn't like me very much does he?"

"Should he?" she demanded.

I looked at her, and was lost in her eyes. Quickly I pulled together my thoughts.

"I know what you heard…"

"Why did you save me, if you knew who I was?"

I paused, "because I'm on your side. I happen to believe that you didn't do anything wrong and this was all just a big misunderstanding…"

_Ha, like I really believed that._

"Really?" she looked frustrated, "So there are two sides to my story."

I nodded. "Look there are people out hunting you, gypsies like you and me, but I am different. I was searching for you to protect you from them."

"You said the Gypsies will not be pleased! I heard you!"

"I was being sarcastic. They don't know I am a traitor, and if they find out… that's hell to pay." I paused, "You would understand…"

"But…" she hesitated, studying my every feature (well, that she could see around the plastic mask), and continued, "But you could of told me!"

"And let's see how I could have started that conversation." I rolled my eyes, "Oh Hello Jenny! I know you're a gypsy and even though many of them are out to kill you, I am here to protect you. So how was your day?"

"I get it." She stopped me.

"Besides… that's why I wanted to get coffee with you…" I was glad to cover up that embarrassing moment, "I needed to talk with you… alone."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"Let me think of something… oh hey, does the fact that I saved your life count?" I said sarcastically.

Jenny*

I looked away from him and was confused. This was sort of a shocking… yet, not even my Gypsy Dream predicted something like this… I think. It told me that Rupert would protect me, not this… doctor, and yet the doctor was the one who saved my life. Part of me felt I could trust him, yet that only confused me more. I shouldn't trust him. Rupert obviously didn't, but those were for other reasons.

"I understand this is hard…"

"Hard?" I interrupted, "This is beyond hard! The damn gypsies sent me on a mission without telling me the full details… causing me to betray all my friends… leading to my death…"

"The snake bites?" He asked confused.

"No, see… before that, Angelus killed me because I found his cure. Don't believe me? Check it out, I have a grave, and everything! It was probably in the news.  _Sunnydale high teacher murdered on campus grounds_.

"That doesn't make any sense…"

"You know the funny part? The gypsies never even knew… nope instead they decided to punish me, did a spell to summon me and instead, raised me from the dead."

He looked really confused. "That's why it didn't work?"

"Exactly."

"Rewind a tad, you said you found Angelus's cure? But there is no way… it had to have been a mistake. I would have been informed if Angelus had his soul returned."

"I found it. Didn't use it. He killed me before I could."

"Where is his cure now?" he asked.

"I don't know… with the whole dying incident, I was kind of distracted. He might have destroyed it." I shrugged.

"Can you find it again?" he nervously took off the plastic mask.

I stared at him and already started to doubt my trust in him, "You're asking a lot of questions… and I think that should be my job."

"…I just need to know if you can… that's all I have left to ask I swear."

"I can try… I-I would need a computer, but it would still take a while."

"You used I computer? …not a book?" he said disgusted.

"Okay, what is it about computers? Honestly!"

"Well, if it found the cure…" he laughed, "...nothing at all."

I looked at him and knew it was my turn to question. "Do you think… think that maybe the gypsies would forgive me if they knew I found the cure again?"

"Umm… well," he started.

Ralph (Roffie/Doctor)*

_How was I supposed to answer that question? First I needed to understand what I have just discovered. Her grave is definitely the first place I am checking out… part of me couldn't believe that she had already died previous to when I met her. She had to have been alive for barely a day when she died again…Yet, if that is true… then the gypsies have no one else to blame but themselves. Even if Janna… Jenny found the cure, they probably wouldn't forgive her._

A second ago I was lying about my reason for being here…only now I wasn't sure if I still was.

I continued, "Jenny, the gypsies look at things a little differently. I think they will be grateful for your finding of the cure, but I am not positive that will stop them from wanting to punish you. I am sorry…"

"Hey," she sat up and looked back down, "they didn't forgive Angel even after all the good he's done… so why would they forgive me?"

"Angel killed their most precious daughter… I don't see why they really should forgive him." I said.

"I thought you were on my side." She said looking up at me in worry.

"Well, I am but that doesn't mean I agree with you about Angel."

"He has helped save the world and my life when I was possessed by a demon! It wasn't the man with the soul that killed the gypsies daughter; it was the demon in him!"

"True, but that doesn't mean that the killer should still be free. By giving him his soul, the gypsies are not only punishing him, but saving innocents from the damage that the demon in him could do. Maybe the gypsies intentions are harsh for Angel but at the same time, they are letting the man control his actions."

She laughed, and like a song, it echoed in my head. "Well, what does it matter now? Buffy wouldn't forgive me… or the scoobies and that's all I really care about. Rupert shouldn't even be with a traitor like me."

"Trust your instincts…" I murmured and thankfully she hadn't heard me. I continued, "So as far as our trust… what happens now?"

"Well, you tell me what wrong with me… I take the pills… and if I am not dead, we'll take it from there."

"Right well, with the information you have just supplied me with… I'd say your fever is caused by stress related occurrences… your body has technically died, twice…"

She interrupted, "And with all the nonsense that's going on, my insides are confused. Yea, I got that. What does that mean for me now? Wait let me guess… get some rest."

"Err… yea actually. You got it, just get sleep and lots of well needed rest and you'll be fine."

"Why do I even come to the hospital when my husband is a genius on everything you can possibly imagine!"

"Husband..?" I said astonished.

_Great I had no chance with her now... I mean… Oh, what am I talking about, I don't like her!_

Mental Slap.

"Boyfriend! I mean Boyfriend… well, at least, I think boyfriend…"

_Although I "didn't like her" a great burden was lifted when she said this._

"Husband…" she laughed, "wow I-I must be tired and the fever isn't helping at… at all." She looked nervous, and I was slightly annoyed.

"Well, go to bed then."

"Well, no offense but I would rather wait for Rupert to get here first. Not sure if my trust has truly formed with you yet."

"Of course." I said angrily. "Well, I'll leave you be… and you have your ice packs?"

She held one against her forehead so I would see it.

"Okay then, I'll be back to check your temperature later."

I headed out.

I needed time… there were too many emotions and so much information in just one conversation. If my head could explode… it probably would. While focusing on the new problems in my mission for the gypsies, my thoughts would occasionally drift to Jenny and her eyes, her curly hair, and that smile.

Before things got any more confusing… I decided to call the one person who could make any sense of this. And his phone rang.

Once again, I headed into the empty supply closet.

My brother answered, "Hello?"

"Hello Damian!" I smiled cruelly, "So how are you doing on our little hunt."

"I'll just tell you… it's all about timing Roffie." He replied laughing, "well, your sounding eager. Tell me why you called."

_The thought occurred to not tell him how close I was to finding her… instead I tried to hide it._

"Well, I-I think I just came across information that could clear Janna's name."

"Roffie, this isn't an escapee from prison, she wronged our people." He said sourly.

"Okay… but how did she wrong our people?"

"Angelus walks with no soul… does he not?"

"Okay but what if she didn't even know about the happiness clause? She was only sent there to watch Angel… and her uncle Enyos hadn't told her anything else." I said nervously.

"Where are you getting this from? Are you starting to feel sorry for the girl?"

"No… no… it's just, what if that was the case?"

"Well, then it wouldn't matter. Janna is responsible girl and she was too lazy to look into Angelus's story, even for her own people, to know about the curse."

"But it's not like we even knew about it until afterwards either."

He yelled back at me, "Well, first off it wasn't our business to know!"

"Okay... one last question."

"Your questions are scaring me." He replied.

I ignored him and continued, "What if Janna found the cure again?"

"Impossible, we have been through books and professional translators but nothing can decipher the lost Romanian texts. But, for argument sake let's say that she did. Not until Angelus soul is returned will the gypsies care to think about such nonsense."

"Okay." I said, this hadn't helped much, "Well, wishes for your bad luck in finding her and I hope you're doing well."

"Oh brother, I have already found her… and am doing well, thanks. Good luck scaring her away from hospitals for the rest of her life." And then he hung up the phone.

_How did he know about me being a doctor? I hadn't told him about whom I was disguised as and how I planned to earn her trust. My brother was probably doing better than I realized… and even made me doubt my own plan._

After the phone conversation, I headed back to Jenny in her room. She laid still, and had fallen asleep after all. I took off my glove and reached for her forehead. She was cooling down but for her safety I also planned to take her temperature.

_For her safety? What the hell am I thinking?_

I looked around the room, I could suffocate her, make her bleed to death... I could kill her now and this could all be over! I searched for a knife, and found a tiny one that was usually used for surgery. I walked back up to the girl and looked at her defenseless neck. After planning out what I was about to do, I held out the knife and was about to press it against her neck. Only, I couldn't...

I forced my self not to think about it, and not to look if it bothered me that much... but I just couldn't. I got so frustrated with my self and threw the knife back on it's tray!

_What will the gypsies do with me when they have discovered that I have a crush on the girl._

Mental Slap.

As if this whole moment of insanity hadn't occurred... I continued to take her temperature.

Without waking her I had slipped the thermometer into her mouth and watched her. I swear I could have heard her whisper "Giles" in her sleep. Her velvet skin glowed even in the darkness of the night.

I pulled out the thermometer and her temperature had in fact gone down some, but still was not normal.

"Sorry I took so long!" I heard the man say when he walked in.

Quickly I stood up straight and looked at him. He had about eight books in his arms and looked up at me angrily. "I had to collect more books than I realized."

"She's asleep…" I said, stepping over to the side so he could see her face.

"Oh," he put the books down in the chair and focused solely on her.

"Her temperature had gone down, and apparently so has the ice packs." I said holding the bag of water.

"Thanks." He said, in a tone I would have guessed meant that we were friends. He sat at her side and held her hand.

"She's going to be alright." I said and he looked back at me.

A smile almost developed on his face, but instead his eyes focused on me greatly. He almost looked worried.

"I have seen you before…" he said standing up and walking toward me.

"I can assure you that I have never before seen you…"

"Oh my God!" he quickly looked back at Jenny, "The flashback…" he murmured… "the, the brother."

"Excuse me?" I said rather confused.

"What did you do too her?" he managed to grab me by the collar. He was much stronger than he looked.

"Nothing! Why would I…"

"You were sent here by the Kalderash! I knew I saw you before!" his face so was close to mine that I could feel his unsteady breathing on my skin, "Oh, I knew I shouldn't have left her here alone with you! Tell me what you did too her!"

I suddenly realized what my brother said,  _he found her already_ , so what if... what if, this was him? I doubted it... but it just seemed to be the only explanation on how he knew.

"Damian... is that you?" I almost whispered.

Before I realized what had happened, a sharp pain inflicted my nose and sent me against the wall. I had fallen to the floor, and tried to stand back up. I could feel my nose bleeding.

"I have a slayer… and you have no idea how greatly I will enjoy watching her beat you into a bloody pulp, but until then," his foot sent an unpleasant blow to my chest, "What did you do too Jenny?"

_I knew all those mental slaps were going to start hurting after a while._

"Rupert, no!" I heard Jenny shout.

I was pleased she had finally awoken.

"Jenny?" he looked back at her, "You're… you're alright!"

With tears in eyes, he looked back at me, "Jenny, this was the gypsy I saw in the vision! He was one of the ones going to hurt you!"

… _But if he's not Damian, how did he…?_

"I know." She replied. "But he is here to help us! He is lying to the gypsies, not us."

"How can you be sure?" he looked back at her. "He was the one who was sent here for you! I saw it! I watched it happen!"

"My names Roffie." I corrected.

"Oh, that's great. But I don't trust you so I can call you what ever the hell I want. Did you honestly bring her back from the dead just so you could torture her again?"

"Rupert!" I could tell that Jenny didn't like this conversation.

"Well, how do we know if he is not lying to us?"

"Cause he is the one who brought me back from the dead, not once but twice. He saved my life, and is the reason I have a second chance to be with you. If he really wanted to harm me… don't you think he would have done it by now, even when you left searching for the books."

After a long moment of silence, I had more than enough of this.

"Yes," I said, struggling back onto my feet, "now can we please stop playing, kick the doctor, so I can better explain this to you?"

Later

Rupert*

Jenny and I were sitting comfortably; her in her bed, and me in the chair. We were deep into research mode but with how late it was and how tired we were, I began to wonder if we really were understanding what the books were saying, or if we were playing a game; who can stay up the longest.

After learning about Roffie, my view of him still hadn't changed much. Jenny knew it, and so did he. My liking for him strictly revolved around the fact that he is the reason the love of my life is once again breathing. When I would leave, he would make sure she's safe, make sure she is healthy. Beyond that, I did not trust him one bit.

No offense to Jenny, although in fact what she had taught me was great, but gypsies tend to be good at covering up their lies. Never in my wildest dream would I have imagined Jenny was a gypsy, and I wasn't planning to believe Roffie had good intentions. From my view, it almost seemed that he was confused about them himself... but maybe I am just being paranoid. If Jenny trusts him, I won't agree... but I'll at least try not to be rash about it.

Roffie also warned us about his brother, Damian. He said his brother was one of the ones who wanted to turn Jenny into the gypsies. Since I obviously didn't want that to happen, I'll keep a look out for the guy, and part of me didn't doubt Roffie was lying. I may not trust him, but after Jenny is finally feeling better and were out of this hospital... we are not going to bother with Roffie anymore. I could protect Jenny just fine... and without his help! Not only says me... but says Jenny's Gypsy Dream. I looked over at her and smiled.

She was asleep, and a book was open, resting on her stomach. I carefully reach out and took it from her, as her light breaths could be heard through the air. I kissed her forehead and let her snooze, getting some well needed rest.

I shortly followed her lead and fell asleep sitting beside her in the chair.


	9. My Medicine

**Chapter 9: My Medicine**

Jenny*

I woke up from a dreamless sleep to find Rupert asleep in the chair with an open book in his lap. He was snoozing away, sitting to my right and only inches from where I was lying. I reached over taking the book off his lap and marking his spot before setting it down on the side table to my left. Even with my fever, it wasn't hard to guess that the atmosphere was cold for him. My touch left Goosebumps on his skin that quickly faded, and mist was left on the window that looked out to the cloudy day. I had quietly taken the blanket off the edge of my bed, and spread it over him. Adapting quickly to the change, Rupert wrapped the blanket around himself tighter without breaking from his slumber. I held in a laugh as I wiggled my way back into bed.

Cute wasn't a good enough word to explain him sleeping. But what would be? Endearing. Adorable. Sweet.  _All of the Above._ However, I watched him knowing, I was his girl… and he was and always will be… my sexy fuddy duddy. I smiled at the thought. If I hadn't in fact deserved someone as great as him, then I'll make sure to savor every moment that we had together, and always, in the back of my mind, hope and pray that there would never be a last moment.

My daydreams about how our future would turn out, was shortly interrupted when the door opened, and the doctor walked in with another patient.

"Hi Jenny!" he smiled showing all of his pearl white teeth.

I hushed him; moving a finger to my lips and motioning to Rupert.

"Oh sorry." He whispered. He looked back over his shoulder, "Come on in this way."

He helped an older lady into the room. By looking at her, your first thought would probably think of her as one of those soft hearted people that would make cookies for their grandchildren, and always wear a welcoming smile on her face. Her white hair was wrapped in fluffy curls on the top of her head, and she smiled over at me, making me want to do nothing more than return the favor.

"I'm sorry!" she whispered to me, "I promise to be as quiet as a mouse!" she said walking to the other end of the room. Her voice was even sweeter than her smile; no stutter, and no cracks.

"It's fine." I looked over at her as she sat on the other bed, "I'm just worried… sleep hasn't been a friend of his lately."

"Well, let's make sure he takes pleasure in it while he's got it!" she said with a demanding finger but a happy tone in her voice.

"Her name is Lucy." Ralph said, "She's getting a heart transplant today, and she is just going to wait in here for the time being, if that's okay with you."

"Of course. I can definitely use the company while Rupert, and his new friend Sleep, work out their relationship issues." I said, really not minding the company.

"How did you sleep? Do you need anything?" Ralph asked. Concern in his tone.

"Slept good and nothing needed." I assured him.

"Lucy?" he looked over at her.

"No but thank you Ralph." She smiled.

"Right then." He looked back at me, "I'll leave you two be." He closed the door behind him on his way out.

"I'm sorry dear, I didn't catch your name."

"It's Jennifer," I sat up in bed, crossing my legs and looked over at her. "But most people call me Jenny."

"Good morning Jennifer. I hope you don't mind me being here. I'm a little nervous, and I don't think I could stand the pressure of waiting out in the waiting room. Not sure my failing little heart could take it." She laughed softly.

"Don't worry about it, I don't mind one bit."

"I'll make sure to keep my trap shut. I'm a little bit of a chatter box when I'm nervous." She said scooting farther onto her bed, and making herself comfy.

"Well, I'm a good listener… chat away."

"Oh Jennifer, you're a sweetie. Some people in this town are a little scary… and not very nice."

"Couldn't agree with you more." I replied, hiding the sarcasm in my voice.

"What are you in here for?" she asked, grabbing the blanket at the edge of her bed and cuddling herself under it.

"I just had a really high fever last night. I'm not sure if it has gone down, but seeing how you guys are freezing, and I'm not… I guess it's still pretty high."

"Do you need any water? Did you take some Tylenol?" she asked worried.

"All accounted for, no worries. So do you have any family that's going to come by and visit you today before your surgery?"

"No. Most of my family lives in Iowa and I insisted that they stayed there. I don't want them flying all the way out here just for me." She said. I felt bad for her. She was going to go through a heart surgery by herself, and no wonder why she is nervous.

I wasn't sure what to say and out of nervous habit, I looked back at Rupert. She noticed, but took no offense.

"What is his name?" she asked intrigued.

"Rupert."

"I can tell you love him." She said, and I looked back at her, blushing a little, "It shows in your eyes when you look at him."

I smiled and played with my fingers while she took a tissue out of her shirt pocket to blow her nose.

"What about you? Are you married?" I asked, hoping this conversation was helping ease her worry.

"Widow actually."

"Oh, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to pry…" I wish I could have taken back the question. I seem to just be asking the wrong questions lately.

"Oh dear, it's quite alright. He just recently passed away, but he was sick for a while." She dabbed her eye with another tissue from her pocket, "I know he is watching over me, and giving me strength today. Sometimes it's almost like I can feel his presence, and that's enough to calm me. I can almost hear him humming 'I've been working on the railroad'." She looked over at Rupert, "Almost reminds me of him, always sleeping in his chair."

Rupert made a soft noise and we both looked at him. He shook his head from side to side and his facial expression looked angry.

"I think him and Mr. Sleep are getting into a fight." I joked hoping out of bed, "I better wake him now before things get worse."

"Good idea." She agreed. "If it turns into a fist fight, we don't want him bruised."

I lightly shook his shoulder, "Rupert, wake up."

"Jenny" he hummed, not waking up. I would have shaken him, if it weren't for the fact that he is doing it himself. His head continued back and forth.

"Rupert." I held his face still and knelt beside him. Slowly his eye lids fluttered open and his breathing slowed.

"Jenny!" he whispered and pulled me in for a hug. I stroked the back of his head lightly with my fingers rustling through his hair.

"Bad dream?" I asked concerned. I could feel his heart racing and the way his nervous fingers gripped to my back.

He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. With my free hand, I had whipped away a small tear on his cheek. "It's all better now."

He pulled me in again but this time for a kiss. He was a bit confused, when I made it a quick one.

"Rupert, this is Lucy." I said looking over at her.

"Hello." She smiled.

"She's just in here waiting before her surgery."

"Oh, uh… yes, hello!" he smiled wide, my favorite goofy smile.

"Don't mind me!" she said putting on her glasses and taking out a book, "I'll just be reading."

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked feeling my forehead with his cold hands.

"Rested…" I admitted.

I could tell he knew that I still wasn't feeling much better.

"Well, let's get you in bed."

_So that's all it takes? A fever and he'll put me to bed. Hmm… I should have fevers more often._

I almost said this out loud if I hadn't remembered Lucy's presence. Instead I kept the joke to myself but couldn't hide the smile that spread across my lips.

Like if he could read my mind…

"None of that till your better." He whispered sarcastically. I guessed my smile must have given me away.

He moved the chair even closer to the bed and wrapped the blanket tighter around himself. I couldn't resist not touching him, so my fingers played with his hair while we all talked to Lucy. She was a very interesting person, and didn't mind putting her book down to talk to us. I made sure we kept her talking while waiting for her surgery. If you would have walked in on us talking, you would have thought we were old friends, letting alone the fact that we had just met. What seemed like only minutes had passed, Ralph walked back in.

"Hey, how are my girls?"

Rupert coughed.

"We're doing quite fine." Lucy replied, with a warm smile on her face. She was much more confident now, then when we had first met.

Ralph pealed his eyes off of Rupert and back onto Lucy, "Well, we are ready… if you are Lucy."

"Of course. Let's get this over with." She said putting her book back into her bag and putting it over her shoulder.

Before heading out she walked over to me and took my hands in hers. I could smell her fruity perfume, "Do you think you'll be here when I get back?" she asked.

Honestly, I hadn't a clue,  _but how could you say no to someone like her?_  She was such a pure good hearted person and I knew that when she was recovering, she would have nobody here waiting for her.

… _Well, now she did._

"Of Course I will." I smiled.

Giles*

Although I was not pleased with having Jenny in the hospital for at least another six days waiting for Lucy, I did happen to understand her intentions. Lucy was too sweet of a person to let down.

Although I should have been worried about other things at the moment, my thoughts were focused on the bastard standing at the edge of Jenny's bed. When Jenny mentioned that she'd be staying longer than planned, I saw the smile widen in his features. If it wasn't for being civilized, I would have hit the smile off his smug little face.

I wasn't blind. I could see he had a liking for my girl… and I didn't like it.

"You feel better." She said giving Jenny's hand a little shake before letting them go. "Good bye Rupert! I hope to see you both!"

"Good luck." I said and watched as Lucy left the room but raised my eyebrow at the man that didn't follow.

"Do you need anything Jenny? Water… ice packs…"

I had enough of this.

"That's what I'm here for!" I looked him in the eye taking off my glasses and he looked a little surprised. I looked at Jenny and my fingers skimmed the surface of her smooth but warm skin around her neck.

"…Giving her what she needs…"

The features of the doctor were covered by the wash of pink and flooded over him. "Right."

Jenny hadn't noticed the change in his features because her eyes were closed. She didn't want to make a scene by telling me to stop, so instead she tried to resist the touch.

He looked briefly at Jenny and wasted no time walking out almost slamming the door behind him.

Once the door closed, I knew I was going to get it. To prevent myself from getting in more trouble then I already was, I hid in my laugh. I moved my arm back down to my side, and looked over at her. I couldn't read her eyes. They almost looked excited, if it weren't for the anger in her brows.

"You know what I need?" Jenny asked sounding angry.

"For me to shut up and stand in the corner?" I suggested.

She held out her arm as if she wanted me to touch it. I was confused and looked at her, but she urged me on. When I touched her skin, it did something strange. First of all, with a fever like hers… it made no sense… it wasn't logically possible. Her skin was warm, and she was still sick, yet there they were. When I had touched her, Goosebumps had surfaced to her skin. I looked back at her in disbelief, wondering how that was even possible.

"I need my medicine." She continued with a smile now planted on her face.

"It doesn't make any sense…" I exclaimed.

"It doesn't have to." She smirked, "Besides, think it's obvious. Rupert my skin screams for you! Your touch sends shivers down my spine, and if that's not obvious to you, I think you need better glasses."

I laughed. "Shivers are good."

"Yes, they maintain a certain balance in my temperature." She paused, "So may I have my medicine?" she asked.

"Umm… sure." I held out my hand, offering it to her.

"Oh, you better give me more than that."

Confused again, she moved over in her little bed.

"Jenny, there is no room."

"We'll make room." She insisted.

Standing up from the chair, I couldn't understand how we would fit, but I think I was just more worried that we would break the bed, and have to try and explain that later.

Once Jenny had turned to her side, with her back toward me, I was able to fit in the bed. Even with more room than I expected, I still turned to my side so I could wrap my arms around Jenny. I guess wrapping my arms around her was helping her after all. A widened smile with teeth had broken through my lips, and it wouldn't go away.

Her supple skin had quickly bumped with the slightest of my touch, and to me it felt as if her clothes were in the way. With my nose, I nestled some hair out of her face, and could see the back of her neck. It even bumped when I breathed on it.

I could hear her laugh lightly, and I was glad I could please her.

Silence over took the room, but not us. We may not have said a word, but we didn't have to. Her heart beat was loud, her breathing controlled my own, and our thoughts shouted together. How I couldn't wait to take her out of here. See the world with her, to show her off to others as my own, or to travel far with her, without ever leaving the bedroom. She was MY GIRL. If the doctor walked in and saw this, I knew he too would get a whiff of it, and flush himself out of the picture, as his face always did.

Jenny was the first to break the silence.

"And you call me a child." She said mockingly.

"What?"

"Your little scene with the doctor? Can you at least act civilized?"

"Trust me… I was trying."

"Well, what was that all about?"

"Nothing."

"Rupert."

I breathed, "I don't trust him Jenny. I don't think you should either."

"You don't understand…"

"What do you mean by that?" I asked. I didn't want to admit it, but saying 'I don't understand' makes me feel detached from her. I hated the feeling. Yea I yelled. If she and the doctor had I connection, I wanted to know about it!

"I can't explain it…" she said, "but Rupert, he brought me back from the dead twice. There is some kind of trust in that, which I can't explain. If he was working for the gypsies, then he would have kept me dead and toyed with my soul. There is no reason that he would have revived me if he weren't on our side."

I hated that she was right. I was more than grateful that Jenny was alive again, but hated how Ralph had been the one to do it.

"Fine, but I still don't like him, and I'm not going to let my guard down."

"That's what I'm counting on." She replied.

If trusting Ralph was a mistake, she knew that I had her back and would keep her safe. Already she had the odds balanced out in her head, and was alert for almost anything to happen.

She was a fighter. And I loved it.

She turned her way around so she would face me. My arms remained wrapped around her, and again, clothes felt like such a burden.

"Find out anything about the flashbacks last night?" she asked.

"No actually. Maybe we should continue our research, to see what's causing them."

"We don't have to right now." Her hand traveled up my arm, making sure I wouldn't leave. "Not like flashbacks can be fatal."

"Says the girl in the hospital bed…" I joked.

"Hey, the fever has nothing to do with the flashbacks or else you'd have one too…"

"I know." I laughed, "Well, the book I had last night was pretty dead on. I think I should skim through it really fast. Now that I think about it, I can't recall where I had left it."

She reached over her shoulder, lying on her back, and held the book in her hand showing it to me, "The books fine…"

FLASH

"… I just love to see you squirm." Jenny smiled.

Rupert looked down, and sighed in relief, "Yes, well… I trust I gave a good squirm."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're kind of a Fuddy Duddy?"

He gave in, "Nobody seems to tell me anything else."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're kind of a Sexy Fuddy Duddy?"

Jenny's flirting smile had only made him turn a light shade of pink.

"N-no actually, t-t-that part tends to get left out. C-can't imagine why."

Jenny couldn't believe how exciting he was, and how excited he made her. Who'd a guessed the schools very own librarian, had an exciting personality and one that she'd like to piece together. No one has ever made her so happy before, made her feel so vulnerable. Yet, you would never tell; she hid it well. If she'd have planned this moment, it just wouldn't have been the same.

"This weekend." She broke the silence.

_If it weren't for class ending soon, her nervousness would have gotten the better of her and she would have blurted out, "Here and now." But during school hours, she knew how to be a teacher._

"Would you like to go out?" Rupert sounded excited.

She hid a laugh.  _So oblivious._

"Nah, I think I'd like to stay in."

Nervous for his response, he never gave one. Panic and regret almost rose to the surface, but Rupert starred her in the lips; she knew she'd have him. A bright smile quickly lit across her features, and slowly, they closed in for a kiss.

No more than that. Their first kiss.

Jenny almost couldn't hear the sound of the bell buzzing away when she explored his lips for the first time.

To the sound of the schools bell, both Jenny and I had wakened out of the flash back, and found ourselves not too far off from where we'd left off. Lips pressed against each others.

I hadn't bothered opening my eyes. I could feel her light breaths and soft lips. Poking through her lips with my tongue, she quickly followed my lead. From our flash back, we'd traveled from our first kiss… to our latest.

Jenny was exciting. Thrilling. Stimulating. And as I continued to fill my head with words that were listed in the thesaurus for 'electric' … I began to feel that the bed had no boundaries, which was my mistake.

Yes. I fell off the bed, and landed painfully on my own ass, with a thud that shook the table beside me. Yet, this sudden shock had made me realize a word I had forgotten; Love. No, I didn't mean she was lovely, I meant she was love. She was my love. Without her, I'd be hallow, like living without passion. She gave love a whole new meaning.

Shortly after my fall, the book had landed in my lap, to exactly chapter 10, as if it was a sign from God.

Still pissed that our kiss was rudely interrupted, I made a cry of pain, "Dammit!"

"Rupert are you alright?" she asked concerned.

Part of me thought she'd have laughed. Yet, none of it showed in her voice. She was as serious as I was. She was in love, as well as being love itself.

"Just fine." I said standing back up again, holding the book in hand.

"Oh my goodness! Rupert I am so sorry, I didn't mean too…"

"Wait!" I interrupted. "I think I found it."

"Found what?"

I quickly read the chapter that had so helpfully fallen into my lap. "It's right here!" I laughed.

"Did you hit your funny bone?"

"No Jenny, the flashbacks! The answer is right here!"

I laughed at how ironic the situation was. Still not pleased that it had interrupted our kiss.

Jenny*

Rupert read to himself quickly, and I watched waiting for him to clarify. Finally he broke the silence.

"Well, I'd tell you but I don't think I could put it in plain words. I might come out it a little too British. Here," he handed me the book, "read it for yourself."

 


	10. Common Effects of Raising the Dead

_Chapter 10: Common Effects of raising the Dead_

_Be careful when using mystical forces to raise the permanent sleepers,_

_Because other things WILL most likely occur. Notice that this book_

_strictly suggests that you do not do this at all, and takes no responsibility_

_for your actions._

I skimmed through a couple things it listed; Ghosts, Zombies, Vampires, Hitch-Hikers, ect. Then I came across something on the list that caught my attention, there in finding the reason for… as the book called it our "Memory Swap."

_Memory Swap_

_When memories are damaged while being brought back to their_

_original body, then memory swap can occur. If the person can not_

_recall their last few days before their death, then this is most likely_

_because their memories had been damaged. When this happens,_

_the person that the spirit feels safest with gets their memories,_

_and "Fixes them." This is usually known for being transferred_

_through a kiss or touch. To fix the memories, they have to be_

_triggered by familiar sights or wordings and are played out again,_

_like a flashback. Notice, not all memories that were damaged are_

_replayed, this reason is because the spirit makes sure that certain_

_memories are not forgotten or damaged. The person does this while_

_the spirit heals and gets used to its body again; sometimes while the_

_spirit is getting used to its body again, it can result in a rash, fever,_

_ect. which can sometimes be fatal. The spirit also protects the other_

_persons_   _memories while the person fixes theirs, hereby creating the "memory swap."_

_Both are triggered, but are only temporary. Once a flashback is received_

_that is their own, in their own point of view, this signals that your_

_memories are safely "back home," and the memory swap is over._

"I stand corrected." I replied closing the book and looking back at my very own personal brand of tasty addicting medicine. "Flashbacks can be fatal."


	11. What Are Friends For?

*Jenny*

"No, they CAN BE fatal…" Rupert corrected, "You'll be fine; we just need to get you some REAL medicine. Where is the gypsy when you need him?"

He leaned over and touched my forehead with the back of his hand.

"Heart Surgery…" I reminded.

"Oh, of course..." he reached over, grabbing the book, and threw it onto the chair. "Well, in the mean time…" A delighted look spread in his features, making me laugh. He took off his glasses and set them down, "…scoot over."

I did as told, and even before he was fully on board, we were wrapped in each other's embrace. As his ice cold arms found his way around me, my hands had reached up to his face, pulling him near enough for a kiss. As our lips parted, our legs got tied up around the others, and I could feel the buttons of his shirt pressing against me as I held him close.

_I love my medicine._

What bugged me was I could tell he was trying to be gentle… I can't wait to get out of here so he won't have to be. Only, I couldn't complain, I loved it anyway. It showed that he cared. That's more than I could have ever asked of him. I was pleased I knew that the doctor wouldn't walk in on us for quite a while.

"Jenny…" he pulled away. His light breaths were panting on my forehead. He kissed my brow and continued, "Are we still planning not to tell Buffy about your return?"

"Not until we find Angelus's cure again, like I told you, I want to start off with clean slate. Start from square one with you guys…" I replied looking up at his green eyes.

"We may have skipped a few squares…" his fingers played with my hair.

"Well, you're making it hard for me! You're giving me so much and I have so much to make up for! How do you expect me to make it up to you? What do you want me to do?" I insisted.

"Love… we started from square one when I found you on the staircase. All I wanted was you back." Holding back some tears he pulled my face towards his for a quick but passionate kiss. "But…" he looked at me in the eyes, as his nose was pressed against the side of my own, "If I still have that offer… I'll tell you what I want you to do when your healthy… and were home… alone... in the dark." He smirked.

"Mm… but that sounds like fun. I feel like I should go through some kind of distress to repay you…"

He laughed, "Oh, you will."

"Rupert! You know what I mean!"

"Okay. Okay… what I am trying to get at is that if we don't want them to know yet, I am going to have to… to go back to work tomorrow. Just so nobody suspects anything."

"Oh, I knew you would. Don't worry about it." I assured him, "I'll be perfectly safe here."

"But Roffie…"

"I know you don't trust him, but what if I call you during your breaks or you call me, so we know the other is doing fine."

"Good plan." He smiled, kissing me lightly.

What was I going to do? I knew he was a watcher, and had a life that didn't include me. I know he can't always be here with me, but even if we were inches apart, if we're not touching each other… it's hard to think straight. I just have to have faith that he knows how to fight the demons, Shnider, or whatever, and that he is safe. Once I was better and being trained to fight… I'd be helping fight at his side and also be included in that part of his life again.  _I hope._

"I'm starting to realize a pattern in the hell mouth." He continued, "Demon activity seems to be at its highest in the beginning of the week. Then usually during the end of the week, Buffy has it defeated or something along those lines."

"I guess demons don't like waiting for the weekends." I joked.

"Well, I guess that just means I might get held up at work if a demon is around."

"If that's the case, bring me something to do! I want to help too."

He didn't answer, but I wasn't going to start this up again; first of all, we didn't even know if there was a demon to fight. For all we know, this can be one of those quiet, non-demony weeks.

"You can help with the research…" He said realizing it was reasonable, "I guess that would make sense."

###F###L###A####S###H####BACK

"I guess it makes sense." Jenny replied, "I mean all of Buffy's senses are heightened. Why should her intuition be any different?"

Jenny and Rupert were in a store looking around at various things to pick out for Buffy. Her birthday was coming up and Jenny had compromised to help buy some of the surprise party decorations. Giles had pondered the thought that Jenny was acting a little odd, and she insisted on doing almost everything for the party. Yet, he had not pondered that long. After all, who was he to question the woman he betrayed. Maybe this was just her way of showing that he was forgiven.

"Precisely." Rupert agreed, "It's not unheard of for the slayer to start having prophetic dreams and visions as she approaches adulthood."

Ms. Calendar stood flustered. "Adulthood? Buffy is turning seventeen tomorrow, Giles. Don't rush her."

"I'm not rushing her." He insisted, "While I loathe to say it, the fact is, the slayer rarely lives past her mid-twenties. It fallows that she'd exhibit signs of maturity early on. Her whole life cycle is accelerated. "

"Still, you should be careful about treating her like a grown up." she hesitated, "Like… this thing with Angel. Have you talked to her about it?"

"I… I suppose I try not to pry."

She picked up a black tank top to match the rest of the outfit she had wisely picked out for Buffy. Here, Giles was thinking gift cards, but looking at how much Ms. Calendar was spending, he figured she could help him with picking out something for Buffy. Besides, he was too close to her to be getting gift cards.

"Maybe you should, a little." She continued, "The way she talks, it's clear she has intense feelings for him."

"Well, yes. They're friends…"

"They're more than friends and you know it." Ms. Calendar looked back at him.

"I'm not her father, Jenny."

"She looks up to you. She'll never actually say that, but she does. And I just think, at her age, it's easy to get in over her head. She could make some bad choices here. Trust me on this one."

"I'll keep an eye to it. Right now, I'm worried enough trying to think of the right birthday present."

She remained starring at Giles for a moment, and hesitantly turned back around, continuing their shopping.

#########################

Opening up my eyes again, I looked at Rupert and knowing instantly that he had just seen it too. I remember feeling so accountable for what I was lying about behind their back, and I did so much for the surprise party; even spent a lot of money on her gift just because of how guilty I felt.

Feeling almost as guilty as I did then, I untangled my legs from his and held my arms across my chest. I attempted to look away but Rupert realized what I was doing and his cold hand forced my cheek back down to look at him.

"How's Buffy been?" I asked. My eyes were closed again tightly. "I mean really…"

"She's handling it better…" he pulled me back towards him and his hand moved down to my waist, "Well, I guess she just wants it to be over. I don't think I am really the right person to talk to her about it. I am here for her though, if she ever does."

I looked down at his hand. I knew he was trying to comfort me, and make me feel forgiven. I hated admitting that it was kind of working.

"I think we all want it over with." A dejected tone was in my voice when I said this.

"Jenny…" he also sounded disheartened, "don't forget I betrayed you too. I don't think you should feel this unhappy about what you've done."

"I don't think that makes us even, if that's what you're getting at. Angelus could kill Buffy..."

"And Eyghon could have killed you…" his hand moved my cheek up to look at him and his other hand remained firm on my hip. "Please don't waste your time feeling sorry anymore. I forgive you and Buffy will too."

I knew he never talked about what happened with Eyghon… ever, and neither did I really, but he was bringing it up now in the chances of it making me feel better. I could feel the truth in his words but wasn't able to bring myself around to believe them.

"Okay." It sounded dry; it was a hard to say.

His hand moved from my waist to just above the bottom of my ribcage but my shirt fallowed, exposing my belly. His hand stopped but his grip was firm around my side. I looked up at him and his eyes were lost in mine. I could feel his hand on my bare back, as it explored the exposed surface of skin. Somehow leaving Goosebumps were his hand had been, he kept me cool. He held me close to him and my skin felt his pajamas between us. He continued talking…

"Listen, Angel had his soul for many years and he never looked into the curse and he could of discovered the trigger for the happiness clause… and even after I had learned about the curse, we never looked into it to even see if Angel was telling the truth. If we did, we may have come across something. And Buffy she is seventeen, not even legal… although I don't pin the blame on her either, if you think about what you did, it's hardly anything compared what the rest of us did. It's not the end of the world. Although if it was…" he joked, "we can always blame the gypsies. I don't mind blaming Ralph… actually, if it makes you feel any better, we can put all the blame on him. I know it makes me feel better."

Laughing, I whispered the next words, "Do you always think about the end of the world when you're touching me?"

"I worry about you. I care far more about than anything in my whole life. If something was coming, I'd want nothing more than to know your safe."

"Hey, we fought the master and stopped an apocalypse before. Don't start doubting our power as a team. What could be worse than the master?"

"Losing you…" He stroked my hair, "…also speaking from experience."

We were quiet for a long moment. I grabbed his hand that was placed firmly on my back, and moved it around over the front of my shirt.

"I'm here right now." I stopped the hand once it directly above my beating heart. "Rupert, what do you feel?"

I saw his Adams-apple move up and down tightly, "Umm… well…"

"My heart beat, Rupert. Right now, I am safe in your arms. Don't start worrying about fighting until we actually know there is a fight to, well… fight."

His hand traced from my heart to my face. He paused, "Did I already tell you that I love you far more than anything in my whole life?"

"You might have mentioned it…" I smiled.

I couldn't look into his eyes any longer. They were heavy with too many words that I knew too well. I slowly unbuttoned the buttons of his pajama top that had been in the way and annoying the hell out of me. I moved one of my hands to his heart. Only the pulse under my hand wasn't close enough. I pushed my face forward, and leaned my forehead against his heart. I breathed heavily. I've cried too much, I will have no more of it. Even if they were happy tears.

"I thank God everyday for your life. I worry about you too you know. Don't pretend you're the only one who cares."

His arms wrapped tightly around me again, and I felt a connection, or a pull of some kind. My arms wrapped around his bare chest through his pajama shirt and nothing felt more right. Everything I had done, I couldn't remember.

I don't know how I managed, but I fell asleep like this. I fell asleep happy. Safe. Home. Rupert.

*Ralph*

The transplant was a total success, except for one thing; Lucy was asleep but having a scary dream of some sort. I can't wake her up yet because she just got out of surgery and into the ICU, but her new heart shouldn't be working this hard yet. Worried for her safety, I quickly went to the only people who have been talking with her to hopefully find a way and calm her.

"You guys!" I said opening the door.

Shocked by what I seen, I took a moment to soak in the image. Both asleep and wrapped too close for my liking. Jenny's face was embedded into his bare chest and part of her stomach was exposed. One of his arms was wrapped around the exposed surface. I choked, turning around. Then I remembered that it was for Lucy, and I wasn't going to run away this time!

I turned back around taking a deep breath. My knuckles hit the wall hard, "Hey! Wake up I need your help!"

Slowly they both woke up. Jenny saw me and quickly pulled her shirt down. She rubbed her eyes while the creep began slowly buttoning up his pajama top, after he saw me. He looked so tired, and didn't even acknowledge my presence. Part of me wondered if he even knew I was here.

"Ralph, what is it?" she asked sitting up.

"It's Lucy." They both looked up, and had broken out of their sleepy mood.

I led them both into the room explaining what it was. Lucy lay in the recovery bed breathing heavily and her heart beat could be heard and seen on the little monitor, going a little faster than what was in the safety zone.

"I'm not sure how to calm her without waking her. You guys have been talking to her the most, and I wondered if you guys remember anything that would help… a song she likes or maybe even just your voice, anything is useful at the moment."

"You just need her to calm down?" The man asked.

I kept forgetting his name.

"Exactly." I responded.

"I can't think of anything… can you Jenny?" he asked.

Jenny looked heartbroken. She moved toward Lucy's side, and took her hand in hers. She didn't say a word. No, instead, her voice hummed a beautiful melody. If her laugh was adorable, it was just topped by her light singing.

" _I've been working on the railroad, all the live long day,_

_I've been working on the railroad, just to pass the time away…_

_Can't you whistle blowing, rise up so early in the morn,_

_Can't you hear the captain shouting, Diana blow your horn..."_

I almost couldn't hear her but could tell it was working. Lucy's heart rate hadn't dropped dramatically, but it was slowing.

"Is it working?" Jenny looked back at me.

"Yea, keep going." I responded.

She started up again, and I looked at her lover. He just starred at her in amazement. I wondered why he wouldn't join in with her, but I think he could feel me starring at him.

"I don't know the song…" he replied not taking his eyes off the girl.

"Oh," I looked back at Jenny.

After a couple moments of listening to her sing, it calmed my own pulse, and Lucy was finally peacefully sleeping. Jenny noticed, and turned around looking at me. She looked like she was forcing herself to stay awake.

"If she starts acting up again, just sing it too her." Jenny said, "Her husband used to sing it all the time."

"Right thanks." I replied surprised of what she had done, "You're a life saver."

She blushed, looking so cute.

"Is Lucy going to be okay?" Jenny's boyfriend asked sounding almost concerned.

"Yea, the heart transplant was a total success. She just needs rest."

"Don't we all." He leaned against the wall.

"Thank you." Jenny hugged me. I was in shock and stood their uncomfortably while her boyfriend gave me the evil glare and he stood straight up. Noticing his jealousy, I smirked nervously hugging her back. She was so thin. And the man did not like this.

She pulled back, "Make sure she is okay and knows Rupert and I are here for her."

"Of course." I responded, grabbing my clip board.

_That's right, Rupert, his name is Rupert._

She turned her back toward me and Rupert wrapped his arms around her shoulder. They quietly walked out.

After they closed the door, I smiled. She hugged me. I could still feel her arms wrapped around me. She was so… warm.

I looked back at Lucy and she was perfect. In a couple days she will be just fine. I couldn't thank her enough: if it wasn't for Lucy, Jenny wouldn't stay much longer, and I may never have gotten that hug.

To the sound of the door opening again, I looked back to see Rupert solo. He closed the door behind him, and walked up to me.

"What is it now?" I asked frustrated and putting my clipboard down.

It was hard not to laugh. He looked angry in his pajamas and that was hard to take seriously. "Look, I don't trust you…"

"We've established this…"

"AND…" he continued, "If you hurt her, or touch her while I am gone tomorrow, I'm not going to hold back anymore."

"No need, I know Jenny is going to see you're not right for her." I looked back into him, showing no signs of fear. "She'll leave you and you'll be the one left dying without her."

He gave me a puzzled look, "What are you talking about?"

"You know… I happen to believe you're not treating her right, she deserves someone better than you and it just scares you because you know it's true. Let's start with the basics… how old are you?"

"Let's see if you can count!" he said about to hit me. This time I stopped his fist inches from my face.

I smiled, "and you're a Watcher… isn't that lots of dedication? I wonder how often you'll really be home at night to give her what she needs." With my free leg, I kicked his shin causing him to lean forward in pain, and then my knee bashed into his stomach. This caused him to fall on his side, and his hand broke the fall. I stepped over and looked down at him, "I am here to watch her specifically, and when you're gone… I'll make sure I watch her very closely."

"She would never love filth like you. She's had enough of your gypsy types." Anger gave him a new face had he slowly stood back up.

"But you know what's sad? My type is in her blood. Do you really trust she isn't thinking about making love with me when you're gone? Maybe tea just isn't strong enough for her." I teased too much and got a familiar fist to my mouth. I could feel blood running down my lips.

"I trust her more than you'd imagine."

"Oh, is that so?" I used my sleeve to wipe away the blood, "Then what are you doing here?"

"I don't trust you, remember?" he grabbed me by the shirt collar and I could tell he was holding back. He was stronger than he showed and I could tell. The thought made me flinch.

"You hurt my girl… and you have no idea what in the world you're getting yourself into." With that, another punch came me way, and I fell to the floor knowing the bruise was already beginning to form above me cheek. With my face breaking the fall, more blood gushed from my nose, and I could see droplets of red when I forced myself back up.

I turned back to look at him, and he was gone. The door shut harshly behind him. I laughed. I guess he considered me competition. I like the sound of that. I did more than turn my back on the gypsies… I was fighting for one. The one they all hated.

"Sorry Ileana," I said aloud, grabbing a tissue to stop the bleeding, "I think it's about time you get over yourself. I'm in love with your worst enemy, and she is worth dying for."

*Rupert*

I was grateful it was getting dark again. It hid the anger embedded in my features. What happened with Roffie was of no concern to me. As soon as I saw Jenny again, I knew she loved me. I had nothing to worry about and I wasn't about to let some guy have me question it.

Jenny was starting to get hungry, and so was I, so I insisted to get some food real quick from a close drive trough. She said not to bother, until I had finalized that I was going anyway. I gave her a quick little kiss, and headed out. I figured getting out will help me blow off some steam.

"Rupert…"

"Yes?" I asked turning around to look at my love.

She smiled, "I like to eat."

I smiled in response, "I remember."

What she meant by that was she wasn't one of the girls who would take forever in line just to be specific about ordering a leaf. She was the kind who didn't mind eating a burger, or Mexican food in front of me. She was the kind who enjoyed football games, occult festivals, and Monster truck rallies. None of which was me, or what I enjoyed, but in her case, it was what I loved about her. Unpredictable and loud.

When I came back with the food, we ate, and talked; okay continued flirting, and then fell asleep. My girl in my arms.

##### LATER

Waking up the next morning was hard. I had to leave her and go to work; although I did enjoy the five minute kiss goodbye.

As I headed out the door, I noticed a cute little puppy sitting around outside. It ran around, chasing his tail and ran after a bus when it came by. I am not sure how, but just by watching the dog, I had felt more confident that Jenny will be safe while I'm gone. That was all I needed to finally force myself into the car.

I had to stop by the house first before getting to work. I don't think I should really go in my Pj's and I probably needed a shower. When I got home and walked through the door, the phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I answered the phone.

"Mr. Giles?" I heard Shnider say.

"Yea…" I said sounding rather tired.

"Are you still sick?"

"Yea, real bad cold. Call you back later." Shnider was going to make me late.

"Giles something has happened and I am calling a teachers meeting this morning."

"…but I am sick…"

"You used your last sick day on Friday, Sneezy! This meeting is very important… in fact, it's mandatory. So get your British behind over here, or else."

 _Oh… very scary,_ I thought sarcastically.

"Well, what's it about?" I asked angrily.

"I can't tell you over the phone. I don't want to alarm the students."

I gave in, "What time does it start?"

"You have a half an hour."

I hung up the phone and hurried upstairs. I wasn't given much time, so I had to make it a quick shower. Before heading into the bathroom, I took a good look around. It didn't look right to me.

_Where is Jenny?_

None of her things were here, and there was no evidence of it being her home too. No evidence she existed. I wanted to come home knowing it was ours. I wanted to come home and be frustrated that my sweater was in her closet, or that something of mine was lost in her clutter. I wanted to come home and smell roses, and see her toothbrush sitting next to mine, or do the laundry just so I could see both of our clothes mixed in a basket to be washed.

I didn't want it to be my home… so I was going to make it ours.

I headed into the shower and took a quick one just so I could get to school.

####### LATER######

After the meeting, I was more than happy I came after all. Apparently a student was eviscerated, and nothing was left but skin and cartilage. Well, okay, I wasn't happy this happened… but I was happy I heard about it, because now I had a heads up about our demon of the week.

I don't know how it was possible, but the meeting left me feeling empty. It was going to be hard getting used to not having Jenny at work, but knowing she was alive.

I headed back into the library and Xander was waiting for me, sitting in a chair and his filthy shoes were planted on the table. He was never usually to school this early.

"Um… hello Xander." I said putting my things down on the counter, "Do you need something?"

"I need an answer," he replied putting his feet back on the floor, "but chances are if I ask you the question, you won't answer. I know this pretty much because you've been doing that for the last two months."

Rolling my eyes, I started my way towards my office, "We don't have time for this Xander, we have a demon to find."

"Oh, like I haven't heard that one before!" He said standing from his chair. He practically ran in front of me so I couldn't walk away. "I know it's hard but you can't keep running away from your feelings Giles! If you keep running from them, then they'll build up and do a whole bunch of wacky things, and we all know wacky Giles doesn't equal tea and doughnuts."

Ignoring Xander, I continued, "The demon has eaten a student whole, leaving nothing but the skin."

"Stop it Giles!" he cried, "Since she's been gone you've done nothing but work and work and work! Since Ms. Calendar died you've just been a Watcher!"

"Xander! This is not the time!" I pleaded.

"What happened to our friend Giles? Willow and Buffy… we've all noticed, and I'm the only one who actually has the guts to say anything about it. I came here early because I wanted a chance to talk to you alone."

_Ah… this explains it. His earliness was caused by the sudden urge to play Dr. Harris again, my therapist._

He continued, "You didn't answer any of my calls this weekend! We wanted to take you with us to the beach after the swim game. We were worried about you, you didn't come to school on Friday either!"

"If you must know… I was sick."

"Now were you really sick… or sick of coming to work and knowing your girlfriend is gone?" Xander paused taking a breath, "We know you miss her. It took you last minute to finally believe that James wasn't Jenny."

"What would you like from me?" I asked looking away, utterly annoyed, "Would you like me to not do anything about the demon running loose and act like they don't exist?"

"We just want to know our friend is all right."

"Well… I'm fine." I said finally walking past Xander and behind the counter to get my things.

Xander didn't move. He stood where I left him and looked down at the floor, "What were you doing this weekend?"

I hesitated, and figured I didn't want to lie to them anymore than I already was. I avoided the question all together.

"Either pick up a book and help me hunt down the demon, or go to class. I don't have time for this right now."

"I was right: You weren't going to answer my question."

"Congrats. Would you like a reward?" I said walking by him with a book in my hand and headed towards the book-cage, "I believe I have some left over candy from Halloween in my office."

"Look I know your hiding something, and I don't like seeing you this way. You're my friend and I'm not going to stop until I find out what it is your hiding."

I looked over at him worried, but then the bell rang and I knew that was Xander's cue to leave.

*Xander*

"I believe it's time for class." He pointed out, taking off his glasses and starring at me with obvious fury in his eyes.

"No actually class is over, but for your sake, I'll leave you be for now." I walked back over to the table and put my backpack on, "Willow is finishing up her teaching period and I bet she'll have something to talk about that doesn't involve demons."

"Yes, go and discuss grades." He persisted.

I took a deep breath and gave him a break, "We'll be back later to help you out."

"Thank you." He paid no attention to me, but continued hustling through books for things that might be helpful. I walked out of the library and headed toward Ms. Calendars room, or wait… I guess its Willows now. Either way I headed to that room. I wasn't going to hide it, I missed Ms. Calendar too.

I knew this was not going to be a fun week. The swim team was pissing me off, as it was… but now Giles was hiding something, and he wasn't willing to share. It was sad to see that the only way he would ever really get into a conversation with us was when it was about research, and demons. That was going to change. I was going to find out what he was hiding because I wanted Giles back… WE wanted Giles back. I know seeing Ms. Calendars body in his bed dead, must have been traumatizing, but he had friends, and he didn't have to bottle it up.


	12. Delicacy of Trust

**Monday 3:00PM**

*Jenny*

"So I know why I turned my back on the gypsy's but why did you?" I asked trying to figure him out.

Ralph was walking around getting ready to take my temperature, and I sat up in the bed pressing an ice pack on my head and occasionally moved it around my neck. Since Rupert had been gone, I have been sweating like crazy.

Ralph hesitated… "I don't see why these questions are necessary…"

"You want me to trust you… you got to tell me these things."

"But I thought you trusted me already…" he said looking back at me with the thermometer in hand, "What's with the twenty questions?"

I looked down and realized that today I had done nothing but interrogate him. Yet, I couldn't nudge away the feeling that maybe Rupert leaving me alone with him wasn't such a good idea. I couldn't understand why my trust in him was fading.

"This is my last question I swear."

He walked his way towards me, looking frustrated. "Well, if you must know… I think it's a crowd of nice people but when it comes to vengeance..." he laughed, "they get in way over their heads. They just need to get over themselves and stop forcing wars on innocent people." He looked over at me with a large smile on his lips. "For me… I truly turned on them starting with you..."

He reached out his hand, as if he was about to run his fingers through my hair. For a moment I stopped breathing and wished I could scoot away without him noticing. I wasn't feeling very comfortable and wished for an escape route out of some kind, but nothing came.

"Give that to me." He insisted, grabbing the ice pack. I started breathing again when I realized that he was only after the ice pack.

"What do you mean it started with me?" I asked holding the thermometer under my tongue.

"Don't flatter yourself." He smirked, and I felt good knowing that I was just over reacting about him having some kind of crush on me, "I just mean your story. They send you on a mission, didn't tell you jack, and here you are running from them because they blame you for something that started about 100 years ago: Before we were even born! It's all absurd if you ask me."

He finally took the thermometer out and handed me back the ice pack. He continued, "One hundred degrees. Well, at least you're getting better."

I went back to our conversation, "… but I thought you didn't know they hadn't told me everything; until I told you that."

He hesitated, "True… but I mean it all just adds on to the story don't you think? It's just a long list of things Jenny, and I'm tired of it. Besides I like…" he stopped, almost frozen, "I like… doing what's right."

"I could have guessed by the doctor suit." I joked, "If you didn't like helping people… I say you're in the wrong business."

He laughed oddly, but I didn't pay attention to it. He stood at the edge of my bed and looked down at the floor, making things a little awkward again. Then breaking the silence, the door opened and a woman had walked in holding a phone.

"It's for Ms. Calendar..." She held out the phone for me, "It's your friend again."

Rupert had called me a couple times throughout the day and explained to me about some kind of demon that eat humans, leaving nothing but skin. I guess his hunch was right about a new demon in town. Last I heard, Xander was attacked by it… but he was said to be fine.

"Thank you." I said taking the phone from her and put it to my ear. The girl walked out and Ralph continued to stare at the floor.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Hi Jenny! It's me again." I heard Rupert say.

All of a sudden, something came over me. Like a wave of distrust. I felt very defensive, and didn't trust the voice on the phone. Part of me was yelling not to trust that it was Rupert; yelling at me not to trust the man on the phone.

"Rupert?"

"Yea…" he said a little confused.

"Prove it." I demanded.

"What?" he sounded dumbstruck. Ralph even looked up at me confused.

"Prove it!" I persisted, "Tell me something only Rupert would know."

"Umm…"

Ralph stood worried and whispered, "Jenny… what is it?"

I shushed him. I was being a little harsh but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't even feel like I could trust Ralph at the moment. It almost felt as if the whole world was after me.

"Well, for starters…" Rupert continued, "I know your alive. Jenny… what's happened? Are you alright?"

I shook my head as if he could see it, "Tell me something else! Not even the gypsy's knew I died."

"Er… well, in the hospital… when I held you, your temperature would go down. Last night you were in my arms while we slept… and you have the cutest birthmark on your neck…" he stopped himself, "Sorry… off subject."

I smiled and my finger moved down the side of my neck to the birthmark that lived there. With a flirting tone I continued, "Please don't stop…"

I could hear his soft laugh on the other end of the line but then he got serious, "Love, what's happened?"

I took a long breath and calmed the yelling voices in my head. I don't understand what came over me… why would I ever not trust Rupert.

"I'm so sorry." I closed my eyes and held my head. "I don't know what came over me… It was nothing." I changed the subject, "So what's up with you? Have you found your demon yet?"

"No actually, which is why I called. The bell just rang signaling school got out, but I think the kids and I are going to keep researching a while. I may not be back until late tonight." He admitted.

"That's fine, but you know… if you haven't found the demon…"

"I'll bring books for researching with you."

"Good boy." I smiled.

"Well, I'll see you later tonight then." He paused and I could almost hear the smile grow on his lips, "I love you."

"I love you too." I responded. The phone disconnected, and I handed it to Ralph.

"So what's new?" He asked while putting the phone on the counter.

"We're looking for a beastie."

###F###L###A###S###H###BACK

"So we're looking for a beastie." Willow said while the gang was filling Buffy in on the demon.

The Scoobs were in the library, Xander's nose in a book and Giles was sitting comfortably on the table. After Buffy's rant, she had mimicked Willow and sat down in a chair.

Giles turned from his book and looked over at Buffy, "That eats humans whole… except for the skin."

"This doesn't make any sense." Buffy admitted.

"Yea the skin is the best part!" Giles rolled his eyes. Xander always had to throw in a joke.

"Any demons with high cholesterol?" Giles looked back at her without a word. He apparently forgot he was in a room full of teenagers. When things get bad, they never take it seriously… what made him expect anything different. She continued pointing a finger at Giles, "You're going to think about that later Mister, and you're going to laugh!"

###########################

"Jenny?" Ralph moved his hand in front of my face trying to get my attention. I looked over at him so he knew I was listening. "You mean a demon?"

"Yea…" Giles may not have laughed at Buffy's joke… but I did, "…apparently one with high cholesterol."

I stared off to space again, still laughing. This flashback was recent, and I could tell. I couldn't believe I saw her. I saw Buffy laughing and making jokes. Willow she was… gosh, she reminded me of myself! And Xander just as I remember; the goof. Buffy, it had only been two months, but she seemed… so much older, so different, but she was… undoubtedly okay. I never realized how badly I wanted to see the kids again; this whole time I have only been scared if they would accept me back.

"What are you talking about?" Ralph asked, confused as ever.

"The demon, it um…" I smiled biting my bottom lip, "it eats humans whole. Skin was found on the beach this morning and Rupert's got the gang looking into it."

"...and your smiling about this because…?"

"Something else." I said dropping the conversation altogether.

Ralph was about to say something when the door opened again, and the same lady walked in looking worried.

"Ralph they need you out here." She panted. With the door opened, what I thought was only people talking, I could now tell was people yelling. People were out in the hallways upset, and they were getting loud.

"I'll be back later, Jenny." Ralph said, "Sounds like I am needed." I watched him leave and the lady shut the door behind him.

*Rupert*

**Monday 5:42PM**

Cordeilla, Xander, and I were here at the school for a couple hours researching a demon that we simply couldn't find. I wasn't sure if I was trying, or just skimming through the books to be back with Jenny. After five thirty had come and passed, I figured I should leave.

"I don't think this is helping." I slammed the book shut, "I think I have more books at home. You guys can go home if you wish."

Xander and Cordeilla looked up at me in shock.

"What?!" Cordeilla was extatic. "It's barely six!"

Xander was confused, "You never call it quits this early!"

Cordeilla kicked him under the table and he let out a breath of pain, "Ow! That hurt!"

"Don't question his generosity!" she stood up and walked behind Xander's chair, "If he is willing to do the research for us…" She bent over and kissed his neck, "we have better things to do."

Immediately, I removed my glasses and placed them on the counter until they left. I didn't want to see them doing whatever it is they do… but, I could still feel Xander's gaze on me.

"Would you like to come with us Giles? We could always continue researching the demon tomorr…" he never finished the sentence but instead cried in pain, "Ow!"

"It's okay…" I stopped him, "part of me doesn't exactly feel invited." I figured from his gasps of pain that Cordeilla didn't want him to invite me, and I really would rather not go and watch them make out anyway… I had other plans. Some of which included the same thing…

"Well, it's not that I don't want you to go…" she started, "but I… I am just saving you from a boring night of going to the Bronze and watching couples dance and make out and stuff. Since Ms. Calendar died I figured you wouldn't… OW!" she shouted.

"Before you two bruise each other, just leave!" I demanded. "I have plans anyway."

"Fine." She said rather proudly, grabbed her coat, and headed out.

Xander was hesitating, "Thanks." Taking his coat, "Good night." and fallowed Cordy out.

After the side door shut, I finally put my glasses back on and gathered a couple books to research with Jenny. Before heading off to the hospital, I have to make a stop at the house, and make a few calls. When I left the school, it was  _ **SIX**_  in the afternoon.

*Jenny*

 **Six came and gone** : no Rupert.

 **Seven passed** : A call from Rupert – he claimed he was still researching with Xander and Cordy.

 **Eight o'clock** : Still no Rupert.

 **Nine and getting dark** : Nothing.

 **Ten came around and I got worried** : All I got was the message machine to the library.

 **Eleven was slow, and I was far from sleepy** : Ralph finally came back to visit.

*Ralph*

**Monday 11:17 PM**

"Don't you think he's a little late?" I sat in the chair beside her. She was wide awake and looked a little nervous.

"Well, apparently this demon is hard to find." she said worried, "Maybe they're still researching, or… or out fighting it right now." She almost sounded like she was trying to prove something.

"Hey, you don't need to convince me." I said raising my hands in defense, "I believe you."

There was an awkward silence, but she quickly broke it.

"So… um… what exactly happened today when you left?" she asked trying to take her mind off the subject.

"Well," I sat back letting all my stress disappear, "it was a little weird. The patients didn't seem to trust any of the doctors, or me… even the ones who just came for check-ups. They just all seemed a little defensive. I guess the town is a little shaken up hearing about what was found on the beach this morning."

"Right."

I looked at Jenny and noticed I only made her more nervous. I realized how stupid I was for bringing up the demon again; the demon that was keeping her honey away, and making her nervous as hell.

"Um… but Lucy…" I started and she looked at me. Her mind was quickly removed from the dark place it was hiding in, "She is doing fine! I don't know what was in that song, but she is doing way better than what is to be expected! If things keep going the way they are… you may have her back by Wednesday."

"That's wonderful!" My favorite smile had taken place of the worried one she wore earlier. "Out of all your patients… did she at least trust you?"

"Yea, actually, but it's not like I told her much. I told her you guys were here for her though and that seemed to please her."

"That's good. I'm glad to hear she is doing okay." She sat back looking a little more comfortable.

I admired how her hair was in a messy bun and some stray hairs had fallen to the side of her face. It looked natural, it looked beautiful. My feelings for her were eating me up, and I felt like if I didn't do something about it, I wouldn't be able to sleep. I felt bad bringing up the demon again, but part of me needed to.

"Jenny…" she happily looked over at me, and it almost broke my heart, "Why do you love him?" She looked away again, and although it tore me apart, I couldn't stop myself from continuing, "You know in the back of your mind that this is going to happen often. His duty as watcher is going to get in the way of your… um… well your relationship. If you're not going to see him often…"

"Shut up Ralph."

"Sorry… I just…" I paused, looking at the floor, "I just don't understand why."

"Everything…" watered eyes were now in the gorgeous girl, "I love everything about him. Even the Watcher…" I could tell she was holding back tears, "Nobody realizes how much he has to give up. It's part of what I love about him, and what I admire about Buffy. They practically give up their life to do what's right."

"And how do you know this…? Maybe it's not as bad as your making it sound."

"But it is… I saw it. I had nightmares about it. When I was possessed by the demon… Eyghon, I saw it all. It… it was so hard for him to know he had to give up his dreams, his goals, his future, but… he did. I am not sure I knew anyone with a bigger heart."

_Right, he's a fucking God! Does she remember who brought her back to life?_

She continued looking away from me, "I know it means I won't see him all the time… but that's only temporary. Soon I'll be helping fight at his side. Besides, in the back of my mind… I also know after what I've done, I don't deserve someone that great. So if that means I don't see him all the time, I'll just be thankful someone as wonderful as him, loves someone like me."

"Like you…?! Jenny, I even know you didn't do anything wrong! Shoot I am even fighting the gypsies because of how strongly I believe it…" I took her hands in mine, "Don't tell me I'm here protecting you for nothing. You deserve someone great. You're remarkable … your someone that's worth dying for."

I knew I had let too much slip, but when the door opened, it saved me from continuing. We both looked over to see Rupert in the doorway holding a duffle bag, and an angered expression on his face when he'd saw me. I calmly let go of Jenny's hand and stood up from the chair. The brainless man had no idea I had just helped him out relationship wise; but then again, neither did I until that very moment. So angry, and confused, I just walked out without a word. In Jenny's eyes, he was the most perfect person; in my eyes, he was the luckiest man.

*Jenny*

Ralph got up and left without a word. Rupert ignored him and shut the door.

"What was he doing here?" he asked sounding a little angry. He put his things down in the chair beside me and felt my forehead with his hand. I could feel my fever fading under his skin.

"Just keeping me company… where were you?"

"I told you earlier on the phone, researching with Xander and Cordeilla, but we still didn't find anything."

_I hated the voice inside of me that didn't believe him._

"I called the library again around ten, but nobody answered. I got worried."

"Umm… well… I…" he paused turning around and grabbed the duffle bag again, "I stopped by the house, and brought you some things. I… I figured you would want something to do or maybe have clothes to change into."

He held out the bag and opened it up so I could see what was inside. It held things like a toothbrush and some of his "normal" shirts, a stake, and a deck of cards.

I smiled when I saw the stake and looked back up at him. He was a little nervous, waiting for my reaction and closed the bag, putting it back in the chair.

With his back toward me he continued, "Uh, the… the shirts may be a little big but I didn't have any clothes of yours so… er… I brought these incase you wanted to change and…"

"Thank you." I said and he finally turned around, "Thank you for caring so much about me."

His nervous eyes blinked and he smiled. "Of course." He sat on the edge of the bed, and patted my knee.

"I wish you would have called or something… I was getting worried about you guys."

"Well, I… uh, was a little busy… you know researching and all." He said leaving me feel a little skeptic, "I'm sorry, it must have slipped my mind. I lost track of time."

"Its okay." I responded, "You were really there that long though and never found anything about the demon?"

He just shook his head looking down at his lap.

Why wasn't I believing him? I hated the feeling. I knew I would never doubt him for a second, but for some reason, I felt he was hiding something. It was like the same feeling I had with him on the phone and I didn't understand why I was doubting him. I had a feeling that maybe my fever was just getting to me.

"How was your day?" he broke the silence, and looked back at me.

I summed it up in one word, "Scorching."

"Allow me to fix that for you." He replied, moving himself more on the bed, with a wicked smile on his lips.

Exhilarated and forgetting all my worries, I hurried making room for him. For a moment I felt childish, but this was what I was waiting for all day… to be back in his arms.

I noticed he was wearing different clothes than the ones he had on this morning, and that made me feel the sudden urge that I should probably change too. Before he could wrap his arms around me, I anxiously sat up and looked at the duffle bag.

"Rupert, I am going to change real fast." I hopped out of bed and opened up the bag, "I really need to get out of these sweaty clothes."

"Uh… okay." He replied sounding slightly confused.

I looked through the bag and pulled out a pair of his pajama pants and one of his plain white t-shirts. I looked back at him to see him watching me from the bed.

"No peeking." I insisted.

"Oh! You're changing in here…" he understood. Lying on his side, he moved so his back was towards me.

Without hesitation, my shirt flew over my head and his fresh white one fit me well. It was big, like he said, but it was comfy and smelled just like him. The shirt stopped half way up my thigh, which made me feel more secure about changing out of my skirt. The skirt fell to my ankles, and I stepped into his black pajama bottoms. When the clothes were on nice and snug, I gathered my old clothes and placed them in the duffle bag.

"Okay… you're safe." I said climbing back onto the bed with him.

When our eyes met again, his finger pulled some of my stray hairs back behind my ear. He smiled, and this time fully wrapped his arms around me. While he told me in more detail about his day, he fell asleep before he finished his story. Poor thing was tired, and I let him be. I lightly shuffled around with my back toward him, and his arms still held me close. His light breaths tickled the back of my neck.

_Could you believe it? I was actually getting cold._

I hugged his arms and fell asleep in them.

***Next Day***

**Tuesday**

Watching him leave again for work wasn't getting any easier. I had to keep telling myself that I deserved it, and not to be selfish. It somehow always did the trick. Once he was gone, I got out the deck of cards and played a game of solitaire. Nearing the end of my first game, Ralph came back for another visit. Only this time when he came to visit, it was clear he was worried about something. He carried much uneasiness in his voice and features.

**10:32 AM**

"Something is happening Jenny." He said as soon as he walked in.

"Yea, the Earth tends to rotate. Right now, it's called morning." I used sarcasm to maybe help ease his worry, "Good morning to you too."

"Sorry… good morning." He paused for a moment then continued his rant, "But I mean it! Something is definitely wrong!" He gave me a weird look, "Are you wearing his pajama's?"

I ignored him and worried for what he was ranting about, "What are you talking about?"

He shook off the weird look on his face, "Okay, well… adding to the fact that none of the patients trust anybody, I offered Kevin… my boss… a bottle of water, but he didn't take it."

"…Maybe he wasn't thirsty."

"But it was the way he declined it. He acted as if he didn't trust me." He was pacing back and forth nervously, "He thought I poisoned it. So I figured this was weird, so I offered one to Natalie at the front desk, and she reacted in the same manner. Out of everyone who works here, she would be the last one to think I would poison some ones drink."

"Well, maybe like you said yesterday… the skin on the beach has everyone on guard." Putting down the last card and winning my game of solitaire, I put the cards back in its box.

"It's just weird…" he said, "So how are you feeling today?"

I shrugged, "Better."

"Let's hope the thermometer says so." He said going to the other side of the room and taking one out of its wrapper.

I sat up and put the cards back in the bag. When Ralph approached me with the thermometer in hand, something came over me again. It was the same feeling I had the day before when I was talking to Rupert on the phone. Only now, I didn't trust Ralph. I pictured him shoving the thermometer down my throat and trying to kill me.

Before he could tell me to open up, my hand flew up and smacked it out of his hand. I watched it fall to the floor, not damaging its plastic.

"Why are you trying to kill me?!" I shouted, "You lied to me!"

He got scared, and tried to calm me, "No, Jenny… what are you…"

"No! Stop it!" I jumped out of bed, "You do work for them! I knew it!" I stomped as hard as I could on the thermometer so plastic shattered into many different pieces on the floor surrounding my foot.

All of a sudden, I was embarrassed. I looked from my foot, to the blue and white shattered pieces. The feeling that overcame me had vanished altogether, like the thermometer under my foot. Ralph wasn't over reacting; in fact, he was the first to notice it was happening… to everybody.

I could almost hear him swallow hard, and you could tell in his voice that he was overcoming fear, "What did I tell you?"

I took a deep breath, "Oh."

*Xander*

**11:51 AM**

Today I was feeling pretty useless. Willow was interrogating Jonathan, and Buffy was keeping an eye on Gage. All I had done was get attacked by the monster, but even that was yesterday. I was in the library with Giles looking through books to find the demon that scared the bee-gee-bee's out of me. It was big, stinky(… or maybe that was Cameron…), and wet. That basically matched the description of my neighbors Great Dane, which was not very useful, and I knew it. I try to be more help… I really do… but when I see a demon, my first reaction isn't to always to remember it's every detail and run to tell the Scoobs; It's more like, "Ahh! Demon!" and then run away tp safety.

Although my more detailed description of the monster was drawn out very nicely by Cordy. I didn't know she was such a good drawer. Still, the infamous number of books that Giles owned, not one of them had a picture of the monster I had seen.

_I hope Giles wouldn't get mad that I was only looking at the pictures._

The silence was broken when the phone rang. Giles walked from out of the stacks, down the steps, and into his office, without even glancing my way. I could faintly hear his voice as he talked on the phone. I wouldn't call it ease dropping, I'd call it… trying to stay awake, from the boringness of researching.

"Hello?"Giles said once he answered the phone.

"Oh yes! I am so glad you returned my call… were you able to find the..."

He paused a moment and his voice sounded excited, "No kidding. That's great!"

"No it's not mine." He started laughing, "It's a friend's… and I just thought they'd want it back, although I guess… NEED IT, would be more appropriate."

After another moment's pause, "Alright! I'll be right over!"

With that, I could hear the phone hit the receiver. I forced my nose back into the book. This demon had almost distracted me and making me forget that Giles was hiding something.

Giles walked out of the office with his coat on and looked over at me.

"Hey Xander, I need to go somewhere." I looked over at him, "But I'll be back soon."

"No Problem. I'll just be here… having the time of my life..." I added raising my brows, "Researching."

"Thanks." He said heading out the side door.

When the door closed behind him, I set the book down and took a break. It didn't last long when the phone rang again.

"Giles!" I shouted as if he would hear me and jumped out of my chair. I realized he wouldn't be back in time to answer the phone anyway. I ran to the phone and answered it myself.

"Hello?" I said into the phone. "Giles just…"

"Rupert? It's Ralph!" said a worried man on the phone, "We have a problem and we need your help."

Suddenly, I realized… what better way to find out what he is hiding… then to do some dirty work?

"… Right. Of course, umm… Ralph who?"

*Ralph*

Why did I do this again? Maybe I should have listened to Jenny and not bother him. Part of me didn't believe it was even Rupert on the phone. He sounded… too young, and fake. I figured I better not let the skepticism from the hospital's curse, or whatever, get the better of me.

"No time to be funny." I continued, "We need some kind of counter curse. We think the hospital might be under some kind of spell that breaks trust. Nobody trusts anybody. Doctors or Patients."

*Xander*

I couldn't believe he was falling for my obviously fake Giles accent.

"Right. I'll get right on that." I thought what else I could ask, "… and by 'WE' you mean…?"

He just hung up the phone. Giles has mean friends.

To top it off, not only did I not find out anything, but now I had more research to do. Next time I do dirty work… I'll make sure that means I won't have to do Giles's either. I walked out of his office and back into the library.

When the bell rang signaling it was time for lunch, my tummy seemed to notice and had a sudden empty feeling. I wouldn't mind escaping the library for a while anyway.

Heading to the cafeteria, I passed by Buffy who was "discreetly" watching over Gage. I even noticed that she was watching him. If I didn't know what she was doing… I'd be scared that she was stalking him… which now that I think about it… that's kind of what she is doing… in a good way though.

When the cafeteria came into view, I remembered seeing Cameron on the floor, well his skin anyway. The smell was horrific and climbing back through my memory. My once empty stomach felt it needed to empty itself, and I felt sick. I lost my appetite. Instead, I chose to just get a soda from the soda machine.

I sat by myself at an empty table and began to feel more worthless. I wished I could go back in time and maybe see something I didn't notice or not run away so fast from the demon. I could have noticed something. I could have seen something useful. Wishing I knew what to do, I heard Shnider talking, and when he said "Cameron" he caught my attention.

Shnider continued talking to the coach, "But, I know they'd want their friends to go on and win the state championship…" he got quiet and I couldn't hear his voice.

"Hell, I don't have a complete team as it is." The coach continued and I could hear them again, "If we don't find someone by these afternoon tryouts, we won't be eligible to compete."

"You'll find someone. All they have to do is wear a bathing suit, right?" Shnider said as they walked away, down the hallway.

A Xanderific plan struck and I knew I was the only one crazy enough to do it.

*Jenny*

Ralph walked back into the room while I sat nervously on the bed.

"He wasn't very useful." He said frustrated. "...but at least he is looking into it."

"I told you not to bother him." I replied.

"I know but what else do we do?" he sat down in one of the empty chairs, "This has my brother written all over it."

"Maybe, I should get out of here. Leave town." Nervousness showed in my voice.

"No, Jenny, I am going to keep you safe I promise."

"How? I can't even trust you! If this is Damien's handy work… leaving town would be the only way to assure Rupert's safety."

"It's all about Rupert isn't it?" he practically yelled, "You're not even thinking! If you leave town, neither of us can protect you… and you'd die. Not a very smart solution. If you die, you wouldn't be able to prove anything to the gypsies."

"I don't want to prove anything! I just don't want anything to happen to my friends because of me again!"

"Fine. Go and die Jenny!" he stood up furious, "If you're going to give up that easily then your wasting my time! You know I didn't have to come to America to save your sorry ass."

I looked at him with tears in my eyes, but his expression didn't change. He was furious, or at least looked it.

"I'm sorry." I said looking back down. "I'm just scared."

From the corner of my eye I could see him looking around. Then he took a deep breath and sat back down, "I know… I am scared too."


	13. Heart of a Demon - PART ONE

Rupert*

Under the circumstances I would say I got back to the hospital fairly early. It was 9:00PM and barely getting dark. On my way in, the puppy that usually hangs around outside, was acting a little strange. It was running around under people's legs, and barking… a lot. When I opened the door to go inside, the puppy fallowed me in. It ran around the visitors' room and all the people were scared to death. I was confused to see so many people in here, it hadn't been this full since Ralph had gotten here, and to be scared of a little puppy? The girl behind the counter had gone after it and shooed it back outside, allowing everyone to calm down.

"Sorry about that." I said to her, walking up to the counter.

"It's not your fault, sometimes I let that dog in here to play with the little kids and stuff… but lately that hasn't been such a good idea. Everyone is on edge. Poor little thing though… If we can't find it a home, they are going to take it away to the pound."

"Why are there so many people here?" I said holding onto the many books I had brought to look through, "Ralph has been straying from his work or something?"

The thought of him and Jenny together made me sick. As soon as I had walked into the hospital, my trust in Ralph had lessened, if that was at all possible. I pictured him hurting Jenny, or touching _… No! She'd never!_  But why would there be so many people? He has been spending too much time with my girl.

"No are you kidding?!" the girl gave me an astonished look, "He has been working his booty off today! People in Sunnydale just seem to be going all coo-coo for co-co puffs since they announced they found skin on the beach. Human skin! For a second I even thought someone was trying to poison me. It's crazy I tell you. Nobody trusts anybody."

"Where is he now?"

"Umm… with some guy that broke his arm, or maybe still with the lady who has the ear infection… yea I don't know… it's really busy here. Ralph did tell me to tell you when you get here, that Jenny… I think her name is… she is in visiting Lucy right now."

"Oh, thank you." I said trying to keep all the books in a tight grip so they wouldn't fall.

I quickly dropped them off in Jenny's room before going to see her. At least Jenny was with the one person I trusted.

Jenny*

"Go fish." Lucy said after I called out for a two.

Lucy was sitting up in her bed and I sat in the chair beside her as we played a game of Go Fish. She wore a U.V. cord in her wrist, as well as the machine that monitored her heart rate. It was hard for me to look at her this way but at least she was okay, and I was able to keep on a straight face.

I had practically been with Lucy all day today. I don't know how, but with all the craziness that was going on, Lucy seemed to be fine. She was perfectly happy when she saw me, as I was when I saw her. Since this morning, being around Lucy tended to make me feel safer and relax a little. While Ralph was out helping people, and Rupert was out fighting demons, it was the first time I knew that everything was going to end up okay.

"Darn, and I was one card away!" I laughed picking up another card from the deck.

"Do you have any Queens?" she asked and I handed her the one I had just picked up.

"And I am back to one again." I laughed. "Are you helping me out on purpose?"

Lucy and I were having a joyous time and I could hear someone open the door behind me. I figured it was Ralph.

"Hey Ralph, are things getting any…" I looked back and saw it was Rupert, "Oh Rupert!"

He bent over and kissed my forehead, "You thought I was Ralph?"

"Well, I didn't expect you until later." I admitted, "I guess that means good news?"

He hesitantly looked at Lucy, "Um… well, no."

_I forgot talking about demons in front of other people wasn't such a good idea._

"Hello Rupert." Lucy smiled his way.

"Hey Lucy, how are you feeling?"

"My new heart is beating away. It means so much that you guys stayed for me. I was getting nervous about being here alone."

"Of course." I looked back at her.

"Anytime." Rupert replied.

He pulled up a chair, sitting beside me, and watched our game of Go Fish.

"And how are you?" he leaned in again and kissed my cheek.

"Well, I had to take my own temperature today, but it said 98.7 so I guess that means I'm all better… unless I did something wrong… We can leave tomorrow, but don't worry Lucy, I will be back to visit you every day."

"Oh Hogwash." Lucy joked.

"No I mean it." I smiled up at her.

"You're such a dear."

Rupert placed his hand on my lap. I could feel his long lush fingers moving gently up my leg and he was careful not to pass any boundaries. Although it's not like I would have minded if he did, but I loved how he could be such a gentlemen. I sill shivered, and I had only wished he couldn't see the hairs on my arms that were sticking straight up. I could tell that was his way of saying he was excited to go home; but, I had to try and stop myself from squeaking to ask Lucy for the next card. "Have any… two's?"

Later *

When Lucy had fallen asleep about an hour after Rupert had arrived, we gathered up the cards and let her be. When we had gotten back into my room I saw a pile of books waiting for us.

"So no luck in finding the monster?"

"Nope, Cordeilla and I practically went through every book, and couldn't find the demon that Xander described…" he shut the door behind us, "I'm starting to think that that kid is seeing things."

"What about a counter-curse?" I asked hoping that at least he might of found anything on the hospitals little problem.

"A-a what?" he asked looking back at me.

"Did you find a counter curse to reverse the spell?"

"Jenny, I don't think it's a spell that causing it…"

I looked through the pile of books on the chair that he had brought, and noticed they were all demon books.

"…So you think it's a demon?" I was very confused. Was there even such a thing as a demon that could toy around with peoples trust? Well, after everything I'd seen, it would be dumb to doubt it now.

"Of course," he rubbed my shoulders and I leaned my back against his chest, "…it has to be."

"Do you know which one?" I looked up at his confused gaze.

"No that's why I brought the books…" his hand came up and felt my forehead, "Are you positive you're feeling alright?"

"Yea, I can tell because I'm getting chilly..." With my back still towards him, I managed to bring my lips an inch away from his, "Or maybe that's just because you're here."

Together, our lips locked, and I turned around to be more in his embrace. At first, it was almost like we were dancing. His hands found his way to my hips, allowing Goosebumps to run down my back. My hands that were already around his neck, began to play with his hair.

"Ms. Calendar…" he panted, taking a breath, "you are quite determined to keep me away from my studies."

Feeling his breath running down my neck, made Goosebumps climb their way to the surface, and made tingly feelings appear all over my body. I may have been standing right in front of him, but my mind was already lost under the covers.

"No… I just forgot."

Wanting more but remembering where I was, I used all of my will to take a step back and out of his arms. I turned back towards the books, and hesitantly picked up the top book.

"I guess we should start our research…" I moved to sit over in the empty chair, "We have a lot of books to cover."

"Yea… books…" he fallowed my lead picking up a book and sat in the bed.

#Later#

For hours we researched. Nothing. If I was supposed to be looking for some kind of trust demon, it wasn't in any of these books. I was guessing that Rupert never found anything on the trust demon either because he had never mentioned it, but we were not having any more luck searching for his demon either.

I noticed that there were moments that he lost his trust in me. When I had finished looking through a book and put it down, he would pick it back up and look through it one more time. It killed me to watch it happen, but I never said anything. I knew it was just the hospitals mystic mo-Jo. At least, I hoped it was.

When we had finished every book that he had brought with him, he went back and started looking through all the books I was looking through before. I couldn't take the distrust he had in me so I knew it was time to call it quits. It was late, and our demons just weren't in these books.

"Okay Rupert, you've been through every book, and been through them a second time with me. It's not in any of your books," I said finally putting the book down, and leaning back to relax more in the chair, "It's got to be something else."

"If you're tired…"

"…aren't you?"

Without a word, we just looked into each other. I could easily see the heavy circles under his eyes. Taking that as a yes, I smiled and reached over to steal the book from his lap.

"I just feel like I am letting the kids down…" he continued, "I can't find the demon… I'm hardly ever researching…"

"Hardly ever researching?" I stood confused, "Rupert, do you know what time you've been coming back the last two days? Both you and I even researched for a couple hours... I think you have done all that you could."

He looked directly at me with no expression that I could make out, "Right." And with that he dropped the conversation.

"You're just tired." I said climbing in the bed next to him. "By tomorrow, we'll have this whole thing figured out."

I laid on my side and rested my head on his shoulder. The rest of his arm was wrapped around my back and keeping me close. For a second our feet wrestled each other so I could help him get his shoes off his feet, and when they were off, our legs were once again entwined. I rested my arm out over his chest while he took off his tie. I loved feeling his lips pressed against my forehead.

Rupert*

As I held her next to me, I couldn't understand why I hadn't trusted her while researching. I thought she wasn't even trying, and that she just skimmed through the books, but I knew deep down that she hadn't. I knew she was trying. I am so angry with myself for even feeling that way towards her. I hated myself for ever doubting her, but I just couldn't shake the feeling and I didn't understand why.

I rested my lips on her forehead and loved her taste under them. Her hair tickled my nose as I relaxed with an angel at my side.

"Just think…" she whispered, "in 24 hours we'll have our own bed back, and have the house all to ourselves."

I smiled.  _That's not all you have waiting for you._

Without warning, but as I anticipated, Jenny unbuttoned my shirt. She did this every night before we would fall asleep and I loved when she'd do it. She didn't like the feel of my shirt between us and niether did I, but I never said anything. The only reason I ever left my shirt on was because I love it better when her long soft fingers traced down my chest and would unbutton it for me.

"I love it when you do that." I whispered.

Her reply was just her gentle laugh that I adored.

My eyes were closed and my heart raced. If it wasn't for being in a public place and lying on such a tiny bed, I'd probably be doing the same exact thing to her right now. When she unhinged the last of the buttons, she pushed the sides of my shirt out of the way. She kissed my side and now her hand rested on my bare chest. When she'd exhale, Goosebumps form where she breathed, and vanish when she'd inhale.

We didn't need words. We could clearly hear our skin shouting through their clothes. Her hand on my bare chest was all that remained calm. Yet, somehow with all the racket that was going on, we managed to fall asleep; Angel in my arms.

DREAMING

Jenny was snoozing away peacefully at my side. Her hand would rise and fall as my chest did when I breathed. I looked around and worried about her. I didn't trust myself to be with something so wondrous and I didn't trust her to be alone here by herself. I didn't trust Ralph, but that was no secret, and I didn't trust the world. Demons haunted us from every angle, and people lied every day. What was there in the world to trust?

The door swung open, hitting the wall very hard, but didn't make any sound. Suddenly, Jenny's warm aroma under my nose, seemed to calm me. I felt safe. Although my trust for everyone never reappeared, not even Jenny; my trust for someone else did.

The figure in the doorway slowly moved their way over to me. I didn't panic, but held Jenny closer, as my only thought was to protect her. Once light from the window hit the persons face, I could see it was Lucy and I relaxed. Neither of us said a word as she walked over to my side. The only thing we could hear was Jenny's light breaths as she slept.

"Do you trust me?" Lucy asked sweetly but no smile showed in her face.

It was an odd question but I knew I trusted Lucy, "Of course."

She lightly moved Jenny's hand away from my heart, and Jenny reacted to the change by hugging my waist and scooting closer to me. Lucy's eyes narrowed on my bare chest.

Although I was confused, I was not frightened, "What are you…"

I was stopped by a shrieking pain on my chest. Lucy was pushing her hand harshly against my skin and I could feel her fingers piercing my heart. I cried in pain, but I couldn't move, and Jenny never awoke. It hurt so bad that I could swear I was bleeding and tears flowed out of my eyes. I looked up at the old woman and wanted to stop her, or throw her across the room. But I couldn't. Lucy was such a sweet, friendly, caring, gentle person and I could never harm her, I trusted her. But She Was Hurting Me!

The pain in my dream had hurt so bad that I awoke suddenly. As my eyes adjusted to the little light in the room, I realized that it was only a dream and Lucy was not in here at all. I felt like I would have never woken up from that dream and didn't understand why I did until I looked down at Jenny. Her hand was still hovered over my heart but she was softly clawing away at it. Her fingernails had apparently left pink marks on my chest, around my heart, and she was very tense. I could tell that she too was having a nightmare.

Before waking her up, I smiled watching her digging for my heart.

_Good luck finding it, but I think you're looking in the wrong chest. My heart has belonged to you for quite a while now._

Jenny*

DREAM

Lucy was pushing her hand ruthlessly through my back, reaching for my heart, as I throbbed in pain. I held tightly onto Rupert sleeping soundlessly at my side with his nose still in my hair and lips pressed against my skull. Only his touch felt numb compared to the torture I was going through.

I didn't understand what Lucy was doing, only that I couldn't hit her and tell her to stop. I didn't want to. I couldn't bring myself to not trust her, or to want to hurt her. I cried in pain but Rupert never woke up, and I never turned around to face Lucy again.

When I thought I was dead for sure, or at least going to die. There was an earthquake. The bed Rupert and I were in had shook from side to side, but the pain never stopped.

"Jenny…" Rupert whispered as he lightly shook me to wake me from this nightmare.

My eyes took some time to adjust to the light and I could see what I'd done. My fingernails had scratched the surface of his skin leaving many pink marks on his chest over his heart. I pulled my hand quickly to my side, and tried to even out my breaths again.

"I'm so sorry!" I panicked.

"It's okay Love," he kissed my forehead, "I had a nightmare too."

My back still had a light pain but it now only felt like a sunburn, or a small scratch. I looked up to face Rupert and found us nose to nose. "What was your about?" I asked worried but tried to get him to talk some because I quickly learned it was helping me relax.

"Well," he laughed, "it's nothing compared to other nightmares I have, most of which involve the hellmouth demon, or other demons. Sometimes I also forget how to read, or get lost in the stacks."

"Wow even in your dreams you're a dork." I joked and kissed him lightly on the lips. I was more relaxed and continued kissing him as he spoke.

"I am pretty sure this is scarier than forgetting how to read. In this nightmare, Lucy tried to rip out my heart… literally."

I tensed up and stopped kissing him. I had dreamt of the same thing, "A-are you okay?"

"Um… Jenny, it was just a dream."

_Oh God, I hope it was._

# Later #

Ralph*

"Ralph, I don't think it's your brother that's causing this." Jenny said as I walked into the room.

"I know. It's Lucy, isn't it?"

"How did you know?" she asked confused when I walked in and sat down.

"I'm guessing you had the dream too…" I sighed. "… So did basically everyone who spent the night here… well, that I asked anyway."

"Yea, both Rupert and I," she paused confused, "but it doesn't make any sense."

"Where is he now?" I hassled, "Did he at least find anything useful this time?"

"He went to work. I didn't tell him about the dream because I figured he had enough on his plate with the fish demon he's hunting down. Last night though…" she paused looking intrigued, "he did mention that he was positive it was a demon causing this and not a spell."

"Funny how he knows so much." I said suspiciously, but then quickly turned angry, "Maybe you guys could have spread the news and told me before I fell asleep and almost let my heart get ripped out!" I practically shouted.

"If she was ripping out people's hearts, most people in the hospital would be dead."

"So the old lady just plays with our hearts when we are asleep for fun?"

"Her names Lucy, and I think that's how she takes away our trust." Jenny looked down, "God, did I really just say that? She's not a monster Ralph. Lucy is a good person… it can't really be her can it?"

"Unless you can give me any other explanation for these scars…" I said pulling my shirt up to show her the pink scratches on my chest around my heart, "I'd say we're out of luck."

She looked at them confused, "Rupert had those too… but I thought…"

"Thought what?" I asked allowing my shirt fall back into place.

"I thought I did that to him."

I laughed, "Jenny you hardly even have fingernails. Besides, didn't you wake up with it too?"

She put her hand to her heart and shook her head. "No… but maybe my back. The way I was sleeping… I was attacked from my back."

"Let the doctor take a look." I said standing from my chair.

Hesitantly she stood up but her mind was lost in thought. She had a serious expression planted on her face and I was hoping this wasn't going to call for another one of her panic attacks. With her back towards me, I had to make sure she was okay with it first.

"Do you trust me?" I asked.

There was a long pause in silence before she responded, "I don't know."

"I'll make it fast." I assured her and she nodded.

With that, I slowly lifted the back of her shirt and wanted to melt in my shoes as I revealed more of her back. She was such a beautiful young creature, and I had almost forgotten what I was doing. If it wasn't for the bright red marks between her shoulder blades pulling me back into focus, I might have accidentally pulled the whole shirt over her head.

"You got it worse…" I said when I had noticed that she had been bleeding, "Don't be alarmed, but you must have had a scratch deep enough to make you bleed. Nothing serious but does it itch?"

She pulled her shirt back down before I could touch her little wound and she turned back toward me, "A little…" she continued, "it just feels like a sunburn."

I swallowed hard and never looked directly at her face just in case I was still blushing. Lucy may be a demon of some sort, or a witch but I'll be glad to say it again, Thank You Lucy!

Jenny*

Embarrassed and slightly stunned, I changed the subject. I didn't care if I needed stitches. Did he realize we were talking about Lucy? She was the most endearing, nurturing person, and the only one I never doubted here. She couldn't be doing this! I didn't care how ironic these dreams were, but it was not Lucy! I trust Lucy.

"It's not Lucy." I demanded.

He finally looked up at my face, "I want to believe that too, but for all we know… that could be the trust spell talking."

"Your brother… maybe he just wants us to think that!"

He seemed to give into the idea to easily "… yea and he probably planted the scars too with some kind of… spell!"

 _This is ridiculous! It can't be Lucy!_ I remembered the one thing she asked me in my sleep, _"Do you Trust me?" …but that means it has to be Lucy… exactly for the reason that I do TRUST her._

Neither of us wanted to believe it was Lucy, but that only made us surer that it was her. Why was she the only one we really trusted?

Xander*

After my first swim practice this morning with the rest of the swim crew, I headed back to where the books live, leaving Buffy to watch over Gage. Funny thing is, by the time I got to the library, Giles was rushing out to the nurses office because apparently Buffy was bitten by the creature.

Ha! Both Giles and Cordy were beginning to think I was seeing things, but I hate to say I told you so! …no actually, I'd love to say it. When Xander Harris see's a demon, everybody thinks I'm seeing things, but when Buffy Summers see's a demon that's when people trust a demon is running lose. Weren't the last two demons we faced… um… invisible? If I saw a ghost or even Death, Giles would just tell me to stop eating so much junk food before I go to bed. Which is probably a good idea… but that's not the point!

I was alone again in the library and with nothing to do I figured I should do some more "dirty work." I went in Giles's office and looked through drawers finding nothing more than papers and books. It was like I was in a library in the library. The top self did have something odd; two sets of car keys. I have only known Giles to have one car. Slow moving and useless car… but still a car in his eyes. The other pair of keys had key chains for monster trucks, occult festivals, and other non-Giles hobbies. I came to the conclusion that part of his secret was, he was Giles by day and pretended to be Ms. Calendar by night. It would explain why he was asking Willow just yesterday about laptops and also why he has been leaving early lately; probably to go party or whatever Ms. Calendar did, but the thought of Giles in a dress was quickly and happily erased from my mind when I decided to drop that scenario all together. Maybe he just wanted the little things to help keep her memory.

After shutting the drawer, I came across a note on his desk. On it was a phone number with the name Roger scribbled out, and the name Ralph written under it. I had remembered Ralph from my earlier snooping and almost forgot about the problem he faced. He needed a counter-curse spell. I felt like Giles when I remembered where I had seen one. I've been doing TOO much researching lately.

Instantly I found the book and opened up to a page that seemed relevant. I dialed the number on the phone and just hoped that maybe, by helping this guy out… I could learn anything about Giles's secret… that doesn't involve a dress.

"Hello Sunnydale Hospital, how may I help you?" A nice lady answered the phone.

"Um… Hi! Is there a Ralph… wait, hospital?!"

_Great there are probably a thousand Ralphs there!_

"Oh is this Rupert again?" she asked.

"Um.. yea." I smiled. This was too easy, "Yes I am."

"I figured," the lady laughed, "You call for him like every day. One second please."

"Okay," I replied. Score one for the Xan-man.

_What did Giles have at the hospital? Friends? Giles has friends?_

Jenny*

Ralph and I were scared and surprised when we saw Lucy walking into the room with another doctor helping her out. I had forgotten Ralph had said that Lucy would be coming back on Wednesday, and apparently so had he. When she walked in, Ralph and I were soundless.

"Would you like anything to eat before I leave?" the other doctor asked.

"No thank you deary." She responded, "I haven't really been too hungry lately."

"Alright, but make sure you at least get something in your system later. Bye Luce!" he said as he walked out the door.

"Hello Jenny!" she said to me, "Hey, Ralph!"

"Lucy! How are you doing? This is surely a surprise!" I finally broke out of the awkwardness.

"I know! The doctors are all saying that I am doing very well and my hearts a healthy one!"

"Great. That's great." I said and sat up straight on my bed, "how did you sleep last night?"

"Like a rock." She laughed, and her delightful smile was so bright that I couldn't help but return the favor. I trust Lucy, and it's crazy to think that she would do something so horrific.

"Ralph?" A woman said opening up the door, "Rupert wants to talk to you."

He looked at me, and back at Lucy, "This will just take a minute." He hurried out leaving me alone in the room with the one person that I trusted.

"He looks tired, and is acting a little strange." Lucy said looking back at me with an exaggerated expression on her face. "… but I think he has a little crush on you."

"What?" that was very random, or maybe my mind was just in so many places at once.

"Well, when I was back in ICU, he would check on my wires and monitors while I was asleep. Although sometimes, I'm not always asleep, and I caught him talking about you a couple times. He doesn't like Rupert very much though."

I laughed. It was ridiculous to think Ralph had a crush on me, but I did have that feeling once before. I knew it must have just been a misgiving that this curse, or demon is spreading. Ralph would never like me, and especially when he knew how much I loved Rupert. It would be stupid when it's obvious I'd never stop loving Rupert. Well, obvious to me anyway.

"Your amusing… have I ever told you that? I bet you loved spreading the gossip growing up." I laughed feeling more comfortable around her.

"I'm just saying." She laughed too, "Ralphs young, and a doctor. Rupert's well, not old, but a librarian… he should be careful. He might lose you, if he doesn't step up his game."

"He'll never lose me Lucy."

"I know. I'm just teasing."

Xander*

"Hello?" A familiar voice said into the phone.

"Ralph?" I asked.

"What do you want Rupert?" he said angrily.

_Doesn't Giles know how to make any nice friends? At least Ethan Rayne had some polite qualities…_

"I-I found a counter curse if you still need one." I responded hesitantly.

"You worthless piece of…" he stopped himself and I could hear him take a breath, "Okay, I know you have another demon to hunt but I don't care what she says… we need your help so I am going to fill you in. Remember that dream you had last night? Well, we all had it. Lucy is probably the demon, but we don't know for sure. Do you think you could probably be more useful and find us information on some kind of Trust demon."

 _Didn't I make a deal with myself to not do more of Giles's work?_ Well, at least it was worth it. I got two new clues; Hospital, and some chick named Lucy that might be a demon. I felt like more of a nerd when I had actually remembered reading about a trust demon.  _If all this researching I was doing wasn't helping us find our fish demon, at least it was helping somebody else find theirs._

"Yea, one second… I remember reading something…" I stopped myself.  _Could I sound anymore like Giles?_

I put the phone down and walked out to the library.

"Think Xander think! What book did you last look through?"

Remembering something, I ran up the stairs and found the book I was looking for in the stacks. I came back down and opened it to a page with a Tsurt demon on it.

"Hello?" I said back into the phone.

"What did you find?"

"A T-s-e-r-r-t demon." I said trying to sound it out.

"Spell it."

"T – S – U – R – T."

"Well, you could have just said it spells trust backwards." There was obvious irritation in his voice.

"Oh hey it does…" I said looking at the word backwards but realizing that was a dumb thing to say on the phone. "Right, well, it says that a trust demon takes the shape of a human form… to earn peoples trust, and feeds off it. It leaves people distrusting each other, and feeling helpless to the world around them."

"Damn it!" he paused… "Is there a way to stop it?"

"Um… well I don't have to read to know that killing the demon is a pretty good way to stop it."

"Don't be a smart-ass Rupert. It's not funny when it comes to Lucy."

"I thought she was a demon. You don't want to kill the demon?" I asked confused.

He didn't say anything for a while and finally raged on, "Does it say any other way to stop it?"

"There is not much else in this book but I'll look more into it and call you back."

With that, Ralph hung up the phone without a thank you or good bye.

Ralph *

I walked back in with the phone in hand, "Sorry Lucy but do you mind if I steal Jenny from you for just a little?"

"Go right ahead. I think I am about ready to be taking a nap anyway." She smiled and Jenny jumped off the bed and walked towards me.

"See you later Lucy." Jenny said.

"Bye Jennifer."

I closed the door on our way out and lead Jenny into an empty room. I could tell she knew I was a little worried.

"What did Rupert tell you?" she asked not able to take the intense waiting.

"It's not looking so good for Lucy." I said looking down at my feet, "Jenny I don't want to believe it, but throwing feelings aside, all logic points to it being Lucy. She is the only one who hasn't had an episode, everyone trusts her at all hours of the day, and I bet you she would be the only one who had a different dream compared to others who spent the night here."

"Ralph… you don't understand, I know it's not Lucy."

"Rupert's going to call back with a way to stop the demon, but we might have to kill it. I'm preparing you now just in case it is her."

"Well, wait… she was here for a heart transplant right? Let me look through the files and other stuff to prove to you that it can't be her!"

"Jenny that's not you talking." I said trying to remind her about the curse, "You don't believe that, that's just what she wants you to believe."

"Don't tell me what I do and do not believe!" she demanded, "Please Ralph give me a chance to prove it too you."

"Well, I don't trust my patients roaming through private files."

"Okay, but it's me. If this stupid spell wasn't on the hospital… don't you think you'd trust me to look through some files?"

I looked into her deep brown eyes and used all my strength to shake off that feeling of distrust.

_I've course I'd trust you. For peat-sake woman I love you._


	14. Heart of a Demon - PART TWO

*Jenny*

Ralph had lead me into another office and unlocked the file cabinet. Before he left he warned me to not get caught because he would have to take the fall for me. I assured him that I could be as quiet as a mouse.

I found Lucy's file and skimmed through some things. It had her name and her information, but I didn't need any of that. I don't even know what I was looking for, but everything in her file proved that she was perfectly normal. Not one thing was odd in her file, except for one minor detail. Her heart donor didn't have much information. No name, his age was estimated, and had no background that they knew of. Except from visual details, nobody knew anything about him. It wasn't much to go on, but I knew it wasn't Lucy.

_Was it the spell talking? I have no idea, but I knew I would never forgive myself if I didn't try._

I quietly locked it back up in the cabinet, and left the dark creepy office to find Ralph.

He was waiting for me in the hallway and keeping watch. When I came around the corner, he jumped in surprise.

"For God's sake!" he said trying to catch his breath, "Make some noise when you walk or something! You scared me."

"Quiet as a mouse remember?" I smirked.

"Well, at least tell me you found something."

Realizing how stupid my hunch was, I nervously squeezed my wrist as I spoke, "Uh… t-the h-heart donor seemed like a good place to start."

"I knew you didn't find anything."

"At least we have somewhere to start! I'm going to prove to you it's not Lucy! Am I the only one who finds it odd that you guys don't know anything about the guy?"

"It's like that all the time Jenny," he shrugged, "heart donors are usually people who get shot in the head, people that get shot in the head are sometimes gang members, and gang members don't have much of background checks."

"Aren't you on my side?"

He looked down the empty hallway pondering my thoughts, "Fine. I'll look into it. For the mean time, go hang out with Lucy and see if you can find out anything else."

"No, I am coming with you. I don't trust that you'll even go."

"I don't want it to be Lucy either, Jenny. I'll look into anything you want me too. Besides… dead body, remember? Can you handle looking at a dead body?"

"I was one for a while."

"Being one and looking at one are too totally different things." He said and I followed him down the hallway. "I hope you know if we get caught, I'm fired."

"****Mouse." I persisted, and he laughed.

This hospital only began to feel like more of a maze when he lead us to the room full of cadavers. I wondered how he knew his way around the hospital so well, knowing me, I'd be lost instantly. When walking past people that worked here, I did have to hide, or sneak my way into some "employee only" areas, but Ralph and I finally made it.

The room was dark, cold, and didn't smell that great, but what else did you expect when you're in a room full of dead people. There were about three operation tables in the room and what looked like a wall of many "refrigerator doors."All of the cadavers were lying inside each one and a blanket covered them from head to toe inside each chamber. Opening up door after door, Ralph identified the heart donor by the tag tied to his toe. Every dead body in the room had one attached to their toe.

"You doing okay so far?" he asked concerned, as he pulled out the man inside the "box."

"Yea… but the smell is horrific. How do you put up with it?"

He shrugged, "It's part of the job. So what is it we are looking for exactly?"

He pulled the blanket of Lucy's heart donor down to his waist and it was weird how somebody could look purple and white at the same time. You could see the stitches from where the heart transplant took place.

"I told you… I am not sure. I just have a hunch." I said examining the body. "He looks decent… I can't imagine him being in a gang, doesn't have any tattoo's or marks of any kind."

"I suppose your right, but that doesn't prove anything." At that moment, the phone Ralph had been holding began to ring again. "Hello? Giles?" he said into the phone.

*Xander*

"Hey, I found some more about the demon but there is not much. Only one way to stop it." I replied to the man on the phone.

"And how's that?" he asked.

"It say's the only way to stop it is to remove it's heart."

"Wait, really?" he laughed, "Well, then it can't be Lucy because I just gave her a heart transplant…" he stopped abruptly and ended the sentence sounding a little shaky.

*Ralph*

I looked over at Jenny and she was almost as purple as the dead guy. She was starring at something and she was obviously scared. I put the phone back down to my side and moved my way over to the other side of the dead guy to be next to her.

"What is it?" I asked.

She hesitantly reached out her hand and moved the man slightly to reveal one tattoo on his back: The tattoo of the Kalderash crest.

"It was your brother, Damian." She breathed. "He planned this."

*Xander*

There was a long moment of silence and I had gotten worried.

"Hello?" I waited a couple seconds, "Hello?"

The other man on the phone swallowed hard, and for the first time, he had a caring sound in his voice, "I swear I'll keep your girlfriend safe until you return. Good Luck finding your demon, that's all I needed."

"My GIRLFRIEND?" I shouted.

It was too late. The man on the phone had already hung up. Giles had a lot of explaining to do! I wondered how long he has had a girlfriend. And he never told us?

Why wouldn't he tell us?

Well, other than the fact that he thought we would make fun of him, or embarrass him in front of her… it just doesn't make much sense! It's been about two months since Ms. Calendar's death… maybe he's moved on. But even that's a little too fast. We could all still tell that he misses her… why would he go out with someone new? Maybe to get over her. In that case, Good job Giles! Moving on has to be hard for him.

But where exactly did he get this girlfriend of his? The only major Giles hang out was the library, but we haven't exactly seen any of his girl friendly friends walk in here for a hello.

I decided to keep this news to myself, so I could get a chance to maybe talk to Giles alone today and not embarrass him in front of the rest of the Scoobs. I wonder if he would get mad at me for talking on his phone and helping his GIRLFRIEND and this Ralph person with a demon problem.

…  _I'll just say they sounded desperate._

*Jenny*

I was panicking. Ralph was probably the only one who knew what was going on, but I knew this much. Damian planned something, and we were just playing his game.

"What's going on Ralph?" I said not taking my eyes off the Kalderash crest on this man's back.

"I think I just did something very bad…" he dropped the phone on the ground and he was even more worried then I was. The banging of the phone on the floor was loud enough to break me out of the crests glare, and I looked over at Ralph, "Rupert said the only way to kill the demon would be to remove it's heart."

"Well, that's good." I tried to assure him, "That means it couldn't be Lucy. See I told you…"

"Jenny…" he interrupted me, "I think this man is the trust demon."

I looked back at the Lucy's heart donor and tried to puzzle together what Ralph was saying.

He continued, and tried his best to fill me in, "I killed the demon by taking out his heart but hearts can still beat for a couple minutes while being out side of the body. I put that beating heart into Lucy, and now she is the demon."

My heart skipped a beat, and this all started to sound crazy, "We don't know for sure that he's a demon."

"Well, how can we tell?" he asked and I swear I could see his eyes lightly filling with water as he held back some tears.

"You said the demon feeds off of trust right? Maybe it has a different kind of stomach, or maybe even more than one."

"Good thinking Jenny!" he said pulling me in and giving me a quick but strong hug. Instantly, he let me go and got to work.

*Xander*

Not long after the phone call, I joined Buffy and Willow in the Computer Science room. We believed these kids were taking steroids, and the medical records we were looking through, had only made us certain that that was the case. They had no idea how badly I wanted to tell them the secret I just discovered, but I did what I could to keep myself from telling, and Buffy's story of how the kids are the ones turning into the demon was a really good way to keep my mind side tracked.

"So what's the drill?" I asked, "Get nurse Greenleigh?"

Willow stood firmly from her chair, "Let's throw the book at her!"

"She probably went home for the day. I think it can wait. Xander, why don't you see if you can find out what these boys are taking, or at least how they're taking it? Powders, pills, syringe?"

"I'm Lookin' -Around Guy." I agreed.

"What about you?" Willow asked Buffy.

"Giles loaded up the tranquilizer gun. We're going fishing."

As if Giles couldn't come at any better time, he just walked in and waited in the doorway with the tranquilizer gun at hand. I looked at him, and he looked different to me. Knowing his secret, it just made him seem like a whole other person, but obviously not to Willow or Buffy.

"Are you ready Buffy?" he asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Buffy said grabbing her coat and fallowing him out.

"Wait Giles!" I said before he could leave the classroom, "I need to talk to you."

He looked back at me slightly confused, "What is it?"

I felt the pressure of everyone looking at me, and didn't feel very comfortable. I didn't want to start a fight and I didn't want to embarrass him so even though it was practically eating me inside to know more, I knew it could wait.

"Umm… it can wait. Go hunt down the demons, and I'll ask you when you get back."

He nodded and headed out with Buffy in lead.

*Jenny*

"For Goodness sake! It didn't even have a stomach!" Ralph complained in a loud whisper. We were walking our way back through the hospital and tried avoiding walking through crowds of people.

"Maybe his heart was his stomach… in a way."

"That's not what I am mad about. How could I not notice the corpse didn't even have a stomach! I bet my brother is laughing at me right now!"

"It's not your fault… there was no way you could have known."

"Right, except for the Kalderash Crest that was tattooed on his back… and the whole, no stomach ordeal weren't big enough signs for me!"

"It was a random guy Ralph. You didn't know you had to be looking for anything suspicious while you operated… or de-hearted it… or whatever."

"Jenny I don't think you get it." He stopped in the middle of the hallway. I stopped too looking back at him and he waited for a group of people to pass so we could be alone. "Lucy is the demon now, and we have to kill her before things get worse." He swallowed hard, "God, the poor woman probably doesn't even know she's doing this and it's all my fault!"

"Don't jump to conclusions… maybe we can find a way around it." I persisted.

"Well, I am open to any other suggestions because my last resort would be to kill her."

"Okay… here is a crazy idea. What if we don't do anything about it, and pretend it's not even here."

"What?"

"Think about it. Lucy isn't staying much longer anyway, she's a widow and lives alone, and her family lives up in Iowa. It's not like she can really hurt anybody. We can isolate her…"

"Don't be stupid Jenny, we can't take risks like that, and you know it. Besides look around…" I took a moment and listened to all the yelling from patients down the hall. They weren't as noticeable before, but now their sounds were piercing my ears. "Lucy is in a room all by herself at the other end of this building, and the whole hospital is being affected."

"Another heart transplant maybe…?"

"It would take months to get another heart donor… but even once I've received the donor I'd need to make sure the blood types are the same and the sizes between of their hearts match. Jenny that would just take way too long, whatever we do needs to happen now!"

"… But we just can't murder her Ralph." I cried.

"Don't you see… I've murdered her already!"

With that, he turned away and continued down the hallway. I followed him and I hated the truth in his words. His brother is a sick bastard, and I can't believe how Damian would find any of this enjoyable.

"No you didn't…" I finally broke the silence, "It was me. Your brother would have never done this if he wasn't after me."

"Would you stop blaming yourself! Why don't we just blame it on the gypsies to make both of us feel better, alright?"

"Alright." I said not wanting to think about it anymore, and neither did he.

The patients crying and doctors yelling were never ever able to drown out the hideous thoughts that over took my mind. Although I didn't know my way around the hospital too well, I did happen to realize when Ralph made a wrong turn. Instantly, he pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door to a supply room. It was quiet and nobody was inside.

"Ralph, we are going the wrong way." I said but he ignored me and yanked on my arm pulling me inside the room, "What are you doing."

He stood firmly in the door way and looked at me with heavy eyes. "I don't want you to be there Jenny, when it happens, you've done enough for me."

I realized the reason he was standing in the doorway was to block my escape route. "No! Ralph I…"

"Don't Jenny." He said stopping me. Tears were flowing from my eyes on their own now, and I couldn't care to try and hold them back. "I'm not sure that it has hit you yet that I have to kill Lucy. There is no other way, and I need you safe and away from the demon so I could get this over with. You have to stay away and you have to stay safe."

"So what… you're just going to lock me in here?" I was so confused and hurting so much that I just wanted to hit him, yet I couldn't… although I didn't trust him, I knew he was doing the right thing. I cried out my next sentence, "Why can't you just let me say good-bye to her or wait in the waiting room or something?"

"…Because I don't trust you. It'll only hurt more if you say good-bye to her."

Slowly, he closed the door, and I reacted to it too late.

"No!" I shouted twisting the door knob, but I could feel the key turning in the knob. I looked at him through the window and I saw into his watery eyes: His way of saying, he doesn't want to do this, and he's sorry. We were both crying but his was much lighter, and unless you really looked at him, you couldn't even tell he was crying. For a moment we just starred at each other through the glass.

"Please don't do this." I said loud enough so he could hear it through the door, and shook my head.

"I have to." He responded, "I created it." Without another word, he turned his back and walked away.

I tried using all my weight to budge the door open. I pushed against the door again, and again, but I couldn't make it budge. I was so confused. I had two totally opposite feelings.

First off, I didn't trust Ralph to do this. In the back of my mind, my thought was he planned this whole thing and was using his brother as an excuse. Yet, I knew this accusation was ridiculous and was only being caused by the demon. It was still a hard feeling to control.

My other feeling was that I knew it had to be done. Demons: Stop, Fight, and Slay. It doesn't mean I want him to kill Lucy but I knew he was right in leaving me here and go do what I know I'd never be able to handle… killing a friend. Both feelings had one thing in common, which right now was the only thing I knew was certain; I didn't want Lucy dead.

I leaned against the door closing my eyes, and just wishing this could all be over.

*Ralph*

When I entered the room, Lucy was exactly how we'd left her. She was lying in her bed but she wasn't sleeping. She looked over at me with her usual friendly smile. It hurt.

"I hope you don't mind Lucy…" I said, "I am going to have to give you a shot today. It's to make sure your new heart stays healthy, and everything."

"Course Ralph." She smiled, "Whatever keeps my new heart beating."

"Good." I said dryly. I walked to the cabinets in the room, and shuffled through some things. Since Lucy was a demon, she was probably going to need something strong to put her to sleep.

"I'm worried about Jennifer." she continued, "She hasn't been back for a long time."

"Yea, she um… she got a call from Rupert." I said filling the needle with gooey substances that was most definitely going to knock her out.

Lucy gave me a weird smile, "I bet that bugs you, doesn't it?"

"What does?"

"That she's dating Rupert, when she obviously should be dating someone like you." She laughed.

"Lucy." I rolled my eyes at her, "Don't start this up with me again."

"You should kiss her." She said as I hesitantly sat myself beside her and she held out her arm, "I bet that would make her notice you. Sounds crazy I know, but that's how I met my husband. When he kissed me, it made me realize that the world wasn't full of jerks, like the one I had been dating."

I didn't say anything. I just starred at her arm, as I pressed the nettle against it. I was nervous and so mad at myself for letting this happen, but I didn't think, I just did. She held her arm still, but it was easier than I would have thought. I figured the demon in her would have sensed it or something, but it didn't. Part of me wished it did; I didn't want to kill her. The poor woman doesn't even know what I did to her… what I made her.

When I pulled the needle back out and cleaned her arm, she looked over at me, "You like her don't you?"

I couldn't find myself to laugh, but I knew that if this wasn't such a sad moment, I probably would have laughed at Lucy's comments. Instead, all I could give her was half a smile.

"No," I shook my head, "I love her."

She smiled as one of her hands slowly reached out and patted mine, "I knew it."

Her eyes slowly began to flutter shut as the injection started to work. I couldn't watch this happen, so I just looked away and held on to her wrist that patted my hand, feeling for when her pulse stopped. Yet even when it did, that didn't mean the demon was dead. It just meant that I had to move her up stairs in the operating room so I could take out the heart.

When her pulse stopped, I put the blanket over her head.

"You're going to pay for this Damian." I whispered as a tear was let loose from my eye.

*Xander*

"I'm guessing you didn't find anything?" Willow said as Giles and Buffy walked into the library empty handed.

"Well, Giles here almost shot all the evil rats." Buffy joked.

"Good Job Giles! Saving the sewers from sewer rats!" I added, "Do you know how much I look up to you?"

"Oh look Buffy, we found your demon." Giles said dryly, "He was putting his filthy feet all over the tables in the library, this whole time."

I quickly brought my feet down from the table and instantly Willow did the same, even though that comment was not directed at her.

Buffy laughed, "I don't think so Giles, demons don't usually talk so much."

"Look who's talking." I shot back.

"I'm a girl…" she said moving her way towards Willow, "I have an excuse."

Willow nodded, "Yes, we have the freedom to talk a lot and never be questioned about it." She turned back to Giles who was putting the tranquilizer gun away. "So what do we do now Giles?"

"Well, I'd say we did enough today." He answered locking up the book cage behind him. "Now that we know what the demon is, we don't need to research it anymore, we just have to find it. It would be smart Buffy if you patrolled tonight, but you don't have too. I doubt they'll leave the sewers. You guys can go home if you wish."

"Cool, I have a big class to prepare for tomorrow." Willow said standing up from her chair.

"You've had a big class to prepare for everyday Will." Buffy pointed out.

"Well, you know the week before Finals is kind of hectic."

"Finals! I forgot!" Buffy stammered, "I'll try and fit it into my schedule. Okay, I better go."

"I'll head out with you. You coming Xander?" Willow asked me.

"No I'm going to hang around a bit longer."

"Okay." Willow replied.

"Bye guys!" Buffy and Willow said as they walked out.

Finally Giles and I were alone.

"So Giles… what's new?" Odd way to start the conversation, but I was just so excited that I wanted to blurt it out.

"Um… not much actually." He glared at me while he was getting his things ready to leave, "And I'm guessing you're asking because you care…?"

"You got a call a from a guy named Ralph," I was intrigued when I was his eyes widen at the name, "he mentioned something about Lucy, and your… GIRLFRIEND!"

"You're answering my phones?" He used a voice so scary that even I held my breath.

"Be glad I did… they had demon issues, and I helped them. Who exactly is this…"

"Demons?" He sounded worried.

"Uh, yea… trust demon or something… but Giles why wouldn't you tell us…"

"Are they okay?" he interrupted again.

"Hey! I'm not answering your questions until you answer mine!" he stood frustrated, "Giles! ... Your GIRLFREIND?"

"She is just a friend… that's a girl…" I could see him tense up, "I have to go!" he said rushing out the door.

I ran after him, "Come on, you can't hide this from us forever! If you don't talk, I'll tell the Scoobs!"

"You didn't tell them?" he stopped dead in his tracks.

I nodded. "Not a word."

He looked around, "I don't have time for this Xander. We can talk about it tomorrow."

"Giles, I want to talk about this now!"

"Listen, if you stop sticking your nose into my business, and don't tell the others, I'll maybe explain it to you tomorrow but I don't have time for this right now!"

"I'll call you tonight, and you better explain!" I said to him as he got into his car.

"I will." He looked up at me but I could see nothing more than worry in his eyes.

I watched him drive away until I realized I didn't have Giles home number. That's fine; I'll just ask Willow for it again.

*Jenny*

I managed to find a box of tissues in the supply closet as I rested my head against the door while I sat on the floor. I practically used up the whole box before I felt the change. It was almost like a sudden burden had been lifted and I knew what was truth and what was not. Yet, this sudden change only meant one thing, Lucy was dead. I had already cried my heart out, and I didn't have it in me to cry anymore. I just sat there until Ralph came back and let me out.

When I felt the door handle being turned I stood up from the hard floor and dusted myself off. Ralph stood in the door way looking even more horrible than before when he had left me here. He never took his eyes off the floor, but I found myself crying again. I had moved closer to him and cried on his shoulder. His arms slowly wrapped around me as I cried into him.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered. "You don't deserve any of these bad things to be happening to you."

I barely had the breath to argue back. "Of course I deserved it. Karma is a Bitch, remember?"

"Jenny, look at me…" he said pulling me back just a bit, and his finger held my chin up to look at him, "Lucy wouldn't want you to feel sorry for her. She cared a lot about you. You were the last thing she talked about."

"Funny... you were the last thing she talked about when I was with her." I replied.

For the first time, I felt truth in his words. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what was true anymore. His eyes had suddenly left mine and were focused on my lips. Feeling slightly confused, and frustrated, I tried to take a step back but his arms wouldn't budge. I felt uncomfortable and wanted to be very far away from here, but I was stuck in his arms.

"Ralph what are you…"

I was interrupted when he pulled my chin towards him and he pressed his lips against mine. I was trying so hard to pull away but her persisted on holding me near. I held my lips shut between my teeth and shot my knee straight up into his groin. He pushed me back against the wall as he fell back a couple steps in pain. With my hand I whipped away the taste of his lips and wanted to puke at the thought of me kissing someone other than Rupert. Then when Rupert crossed my mind, I walked back up to Ralph when he stood back up and I gave him a smack so hard that it practically echoed through the hallway.

Crying again, he looked back at me and this time I felt nothing for this man. "You sick Son of a Bitch! What made you think that I was okay with that?"

"I'm sorry… I thought…"

"Thought that I would ever love a liar like you? Ralph your disgusting! I would never cheat on Rupert and I know you know that too!"

"Well, I had to do something…"

"Don't start…"

He persisted on, "Something about my feelings for you! They were eating me alive Jenny, and to see you with that poor excuse for a Watcher. You know not once on the phone in the last two days has he even asked about you, or how you were doing?"

"He doesn't have to! He trusted me, and I thought I could trust you!"

He looked at me for a second and gave out a laugh that made him sound crazy, "You know I'm trying to find a reason to hate you right now. Anything. I thought by maybe trying to kiss you, and you rejecting it would make me come to my senses… but no… I can't even hate you. Jenny… why can't I hate you?"

I didn't even answer his question, I just gave him one last glare before I walked away. I hurried into my room still spitting Ralph out of my mouth and gathering all the things in the duffle-bag. Once it was fully packed, I began to walk out when I heard Ralph's voice again.

"Jenny please don't. Look I'm sorry."

"Go away!" I demanded but then he got a hold of my wrist forcing me to look at him. "What do you want from me Ralph... because chances are, I can't give it to you."

"You can't leave yet. Please, I need to talk to you!" he looked desperate, "Give me another chance and I'll make it up to you."

"Why should I?" so much anger was in my voice that I even surprised myself, "We're Kalderash… we aren't big on second chances."

"Your better than a Kalderash Jenny, and you know it." He shook his head and looked down, "Please!"

"Ralph… let go."

Slowly, his hand took his hand off my wrist and his hand went up to wipe a tear away from his face. I never answered his question, and instead walked away with the duffle bag shoving him heavily.

I could feel the eyes watching me in confusion when I walked out of the room crying but I never looked up to meet any of their gazes. I was angry and I lost a really close friend today. Even from waking up, today was horrible and left me wanting to crawl in a hole and hide from the rest of the world. It didn't sound like a bad idea, and I just kept walking down the side walk. I didn't stray too far away from the hospital when a car had slowly fallowed at my side. When I looked over, I noticed it was Rupert's car. I couldn't have been more grateful that he came early today.

*Rupert*

I was incredibly surprised when I had seen that Jenny was walking around outside the hospital and I drove slowly on the street beside her, hoping that she would know it was me. Thankfully she noticed and turned around to look at the car, and when she did, it only left me heartbroken when it had been obvious that she was crying, and no doubt had a rough day.

_What? Did she expect to walk all the way home?_

When she noticed me and stopped, I parked the car close to the curb and quickly got out of the car to be closer to her. When I had met Jenny on the sidewalk, I could see the many tears trying to be held back in her gorgeous brown eyes. All words, meanings and logic had left my mind until nothing but sympathy filled in their places.

"What's the matter Jenny?" I stroked her head, and pulled some hair back behind her ears.

She didn't look at me, but instead slammed herself into my chest. I held her against me and she just let it all out. Everything she was holding back, was now coming out in her sobs. I was only confused but very worried about what was going on. As she cried, I kept silent and waited for her to be ready to talk.

Her stunning brown eyes just looked up at me, and I couldn't imagine what would make her so sad. She never replied, but moved closer towards me for a kiss. Her lips tasted salty and her soft cheeks were very wet. As our lips played, I used my thumbs to wipe away her tears. As this was slowly becoming our most extraordinarily passionate kiss, part of me worried why. She held me so close and I knew this was not the most appropiate place to be doing this, but why the hell did I care? I just wanted to know what caused her to run out of the hospital crying her eyes out so I could brutally damage the demon. Xander mentioned something about a demon, and you know what… I'm in the mood to kick some demon ass right now!

Desperately needing to take a breath from the marvelous creature, I pulled myself away but kept her tightly wrapped in my arms.

"Lucy didn't make it." She breathed.

"Oh! I'm so sorry Jenny. Did something go wrong with her heart?" I asked concerned.

She looked up at me confused, "Well kind of… didn't Ralph tell you?"

I shook my head to show her I had not a clue of what she was talking about, "I have not talked to him at all today, but he could have told Xander. The kid has been snooping around trying to figure out my secret." She looked at me with worried eyes, "But no worry, he doesn't know anything. Although, I do have to come up with a cover story of why he heard that I had a girlfriend.

I was surprised when a light laugh came out of Jenny. It was small but sweet and when she needed it most. I was glad to provide that for her.

"Well, maybe you can explain this to me on our drive home, and I'll drive really slow… not just because that's the only speed that my car can go, but so you can explain to me everything."

She nodded "okay" with a small smile on her lips and I kissed her forehead one last time before helping her into the car.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm no doctor and even though I skimmed over the scene were Lucy dies, I want to make it perfectly clear that Ralph did take out her heart, and Lucy is in fact dead. A moment of silence for Lucy (... she was a nice fictional character.) OKAY! Well, lets hope I didn't lose half of my audience, and I love Feedback! :D
> 
> I would love to make a special shout out to School. Why? Because if it wasn't for the Stupid Summer Reading assignments ;)... I would have never come up with the idea about the heart transplant. This idea is in fact my own, but I was inspired by a book called "Stiff" if any of you guys have read it. It took much brain power and crazy ideas to finally come up with this weird scenario, so please know, this idea was MINE and not "Stiff's."


	15. Candle Light

*Jenny*

Rupert's hand was bruised and bloody, as he wasted no time making sure Ralph looked like a raison. Ralph took many hard blows to the chest and was able to even get in some good punches to Rupert stomach. Ralph had a purple eye, and Rupert had a scar on his lip. They were in a boxing match as I flinched with every blow and kick between the two.

####

I broke from the daydream when a bump in the rode had shaken the whole car. I was tearing myself apart about Ralph kissing me. I knew telling Rupert would only cause a wrestling match between them, as if they didn't hate each other enough already, but not telling him would practically leave me feeling guilty for the rest of my life. As of now, Rupert hadn't a clue but I did fill him in on the loss of Lucy. I still held a heavy heart for her and not one tear dried on our long ride home.

Rupert and I were silent. I could tell it was his way of showing he was mourning our loss of Lucy and I hated it but he was also gaining some "respect" for Ralph. He claimed that it was the right thing for him to lock me in the supply room because it kept me safe, since Lucy was in fact a demon. Keeping me safe seems to be important to Rupert, and because Ralph showed that his primary goal was to in fact keep me out of harm's way… Rupert's starting to feel sorry for always being so nasty towards him, and said that he was a "Decent man." I had to stop thinking of Ralph, for the disgusting taste of his lips had dented my memory and I couldn't feel any guiltier towards Rupert than I already was.

"I know you've had a rough day today Jenny…" Rupert started, "but I have a surprise for you. I hope maybe it can cheer you up."

"…a-a surprise?"

"You know how I have been coming late the past couple of days?" he paused and hesitated to continue, "Well, I have a confession… I haven't exactly been researching the fish demon… I-I mean I have, but not all night long like you thought." I starred up at him surprised that Rupert had  _lied… successfully_. "Now, you may be a little shocked…"

Rupert's words faded in my mind when he pulled up into his usual parking space and I saw it. A light blue Volkswagen bug was sitting in the parking lot with a familiar license plate that read MnstrTuk (Monster Truck) and an accidental scratch I had received on it at Buffy's surprise 17th birthday party. A vampire must have dented it or something in all the chaos, but the point is that, that was my car parked right in front of us.

My mouth had been dangling open, "How did you…"

"I made a couple phone calls, but I found it." He smiled widely looking over at me, "I just hope it's in the same condition you remember it in."

"Down to the dents… but why did you…"

His nose pressed against my cheek and he kissed it lightly, "This one is because I love you."

"Rupert…" I looked over his way but he pressed his lips against mine before I could continue. I enjoyed their taste for a second before I lightly pulled away, "Rupert… what do you mean this one? …There's more?!"

His eyes fluttered open, "Oops…"

"What did you do?" I eyed him.

Rupert had been late because of me?! Here I thought that he was researching and being a good boy… and little did I know that he got me back my car! I loved him so much right now and if I wasn't worried about what else he has been hiding, I swear I would have just jumped in his lap, gave him some well deserved smoochies.

"Umm…" he pulled something out of his pocket, "the keys!"

"I'm going to kill you." I joked.

He held them out for me to take but first I leaned over giving him one last kiss before hoping out of the car. He had the biggest heart of any man and definitely had the tastiest lips. I slammed the door shut and practically ran excitedly towards my other baby; my little monster truck. I was so excited that I had to get my hands to stop shaking so I could put the key in its hole to unlock the car. Once it opened, I sat myself in the front seat taking a moment to enjoy it. I swear I had never thought I would ever see it again, but here it is, and all because of Rupert! I took a look around and everything was exactly how I remembered it.

Rupert was now standing outside the car and enjoying my obvious excitement. I looked up meeting his gaze and jumped back up out of the car to be in his arms.

He laughed, "I'm glad you like it Jenny."

"I love it! I love you!" I looked up at him, "You're too nice to me! Be mean sometimes, please! Your just too perfect."

He rolled his eyes at me, "If you insist."

Suddenly, one of his arms that were wrapped around me had moved down my back and stopped when he had squeezed my bottom causing me to gasp in surprise. Half gasp, he surprised me again when his nose caressed my cheek and found that we were making out, as he pinned my back against the car. I was so astounded and barely knew what was going on. This wasn't like Rupert, but then again, waiting in the hospital bed for the last couple days… this is what I had been waiting for. I couldn't help but laugh when a car that drove by had honked and slowly Rupert forced his way back.

_I guess I did set myself up for that to happen._

He was slightly embarrassed which was made clear with the bright pink cheeks and ginormous smile on his face. He stood up straight fixing his glasses, as I sat against my car and fixed his tie.

"You're full of surprises today." I laughed and pulled on his tie so he was forced to lean over until we met nose to nose. I whispered the next words, "but that's supposed to take place inside the house."

I smiled wickedly and his response didn't disappoint, "Sorry, I seem to have gotten ahead of schedule. I guess I just couldn't help myself."

Our lips met briefly again, and then he took his hand in mine as I held onto his arm. I kicked the car door shut and we walked towards his house.

It was nice to feel a cool breeze outside while I held onto Rupert's warm tweed suit. I was almost forgetting why we were so sad earlier, but I could never forget Lucy, and I started missing her already. I loved Rupert's surprise because for the mean time, it was keeping my thoughts elsewhere, which is where it needed to be.

*Rupert*

I had a feeling that Jenny didn't tell me everything but I figured she didn't need to if she didn't want to. Lucy's death is hard for her and I could easily tell that she is frustrated with Ralph, because I think she blamed him for it. I probably would have too if it weren't for one thing: Ralph kept Jenny away from the demon while he did the dirty work. My worry about him was I never knew if he could be trusted and if he really was on our side, but he proved it tonight. Jenny may hate the man, but my respect has truly grown for him.

These thoughts faded as Jenny cool body was tugging lightly on my arm and I awaited for her to see her next surprise. It wasn't much, but I hoped it was enough for her to consider it home too. I unlocked the door and Jenny pulled me inside and out of the cold. If I wasn't distracted with how to show her the surprise, I would have taken her in my arms and carried her upstairs. Instead, I was taking off my jacket as she nervously looked around.

"Something seems different." She said and I couldn't hide my smile. "I guess I have been gone too long."

"You really have." I admitted.

I watched her curiously, as she made her way towards the stairs.

"W-where are you going?" I asked worried and not ready to show her what was waiting for her.

She quickly walked up the steps, "Bathroom."

I fallowed after her, "Jenny I-I don't think…"

When I was half way up the steps I heard her gasp for breath. Slowly and nervously I walked up the steps to find her in the room with her back towards me and her hands to her face. I walked up behind her and rubbed her shoulders, as I couldn't find the words to say or things to do. She turned around to face me with an angered expression.

I hesitated, "Surprise!"

Lightly tearing up, "You stupid…"she balled her hands into fists and lightly punched my chest, "brainless, foolish, uncanny, British man! Never in my life have I loved an idiotic angel like you!"

She stopped slugging me and her head fit perfectly under my chin.

I laughed, "I guess that means you're pleased…"

"I am very disappointed in you Rupert Giles. You need more flaws." she took a deep breath and looked up at me, "How many phone calls did you make for these?"

"Now don't get to excited love, I wasn't able to get a hold of everything, only some of it. Most of your clothes are hanging in the closet already… I just needed to make more room for what's left of them on the bed, and I'm not sure if you would have wanted some of the other things like your little stuffed tiger or the…"

"Thank you." She hit me one last time but with a little more force so it would hurt, "but seriously! Stop it with the gifts and the love and the gorgeous green eyes! It's all just too much!"

"This was my last surprise I swear." I raised my hands in defense.

"Explain the laptop." She insisted.

"Well, um…" I looked over at the newly bought laptop that waited for her on the bed with a red ribbon that I had placed on top of it, "Uh, Willow… she tried her best to explain to me about them, but I just bought the thing and hoped you knew what to do with it. I honestly couldn't even turn it on... or open it really."

She laughed, and that melted my heart. "But why even bother?"

"I know how badly you want to find Angels cure again. I figure you can work on it at home… or something."

*Jenny*

I looked back at the bed that was cluttered with the things I never thought I would see again. My stuffed tiger I had since I was born, a picture in a frame of me and Rupert the night we celebrated at the bronze after killing the master, a box of some magic supplies that I had been practicing with, and in another box was a couple of my perfumes and lotions. That was all he was able to get a hold of, and these are all the things I'll treasure.

He continued, "It's our home now."

My emotions were giving me whiplash and fainting would have been the appropriate response. From the worst day to probably the best, I cried from loss… to now be crying of gain. I silently walked to the bed and sat on the edge holding on tightly to Tiger; I was never very clever with names for my stuffed animals.

"Well, I uh, went fishing today in the sewers to hunt down that demon… I'm thinking I should hit the shower, but I'll be back out to show you where everything is, or feel free to hunt things down on your own."

I shook my head laughing, "You don't smell like a sewer rat."

"And you don't either but that doesn't mean you have to wait out here…" he paused, "y-you can always join me."

Although the offer was tempting, a sudden feeling of guilt had rushed through me. Ralph kissed me, and I sat here lying to Rupert as if nothing had ever happened. I remembered why I was angry and couldn't grasp a hold of everything that Rupert had given me. I felt like I didn't deserve any of it.

"I'm sorry Rupert, I just need a moment to be alone. This is all just so much."

"Right." He sounded a little disappointed, "I understand, but if you change your mind, you're always welcome."

I couldn't hide my smile that slowly grew on my lips. He headed in the bathroom closing the door behind him, and I looked around at everything he surprised me with today but now only feeling guilty that it was all starring at me in the face.

*Ralph*

I took the rest of the night off and as the moon glistened high in the night's sky, and I was drinking myself silly at a bar I had already forgotten the name to. I wondered where Jenny was, and what she was doing… or whom she was doing, if she had in fact found Rupert again. I also wondered when I would be receiving another painful visit from her aggressive boyfriend because it's easier to know when someone is planning to break my nose so I could make room for it in my schedule. I wasn't planning to run, or to fight back, because I deserved it. Not only did I murder the sweetest old lady I had ever met, but I hurt Jenny because I couldn't stop loving her. I am worse than my brother, and speaking of the devil…

I had caught a glimpse of my brother as he walked into the bar, and spotted me. He had a wicked smile on his face as he sat in the seat beside me.

"If you don't leave now, I swear I'll kill you!" I said to him but he just laughed.

He smelled nice and his hair was nicely combed back on his head. I wondered where he had been staying… and who he has been stealing from.

"Kill me? Why is that brother… I figured I was helping you when I sent you the demon." He grabbed hold of my shoulder and shoved me around to look directly at him, "For God's sake you fell in love with the woman! You fell in love with the traitor, and don't think I didn't see it. I figured if I had broken the trust between you two, I could remind you of our primary goal. Kill her!"

"We are only supposed to bring her back to the gypsies!" I said defensively.

"We both know they are going to do the same thing anyway. I just say, were one step ahead."

My patients with him was being cut thin by the drinking and lack of sober, so impulsively I felt like I really wanted to hit something. With my bottle of beer, I smashed it against his head causing the glass to shatter falling on the floor beside him, as he fell as well. People all around were starring at us and things got silent, except for my brothers irritating laugh.

"We don't have much time. We aren't the only ones after her anymore."

I easily imagined his face as a soccer ball and used every power in me to kick his head and hopefully kill him. Gasps of fear were heard from everyone in the room and my brothers nose was bleeding heavily as he was now face first on the ground. Slowly, he pushed himself back up and surprised me with a back kick that knocked me back over my stool and onto the floor. He walked over at my side.

"What do you mean were not the only ones?" I asked on the floor trying to catch my breath.

"Didn't you hear? Vengeance Demons are all out hunting her to make her one of them. D'hoffrin right now has the biggest lead with all the hit men he has hired to find her. For some reason no one can find her magically. She has a mystic force of some kind that's protecting her…" his foot rested on my hand, "does that have anything to do with you?"

"Of course not! That is Ileana's fault… you remember the spell she did to find her? Well, we brought her back from the dead instead! The supernatural might have some temporary hold her soul until she is fully used to being alive again. That would explain the fever… and the reason no one can find her magically."

He took his foot off my hand and walked around me, "So she was dead. Hmm… this is interesting. Well, the corpse walks into your arms, and you have had it easier than the rest of us… and yet," this time he kicked my head, causing me to roll over to my side, "you did nothing. Feel lucky that I'm not telling the gypsies about you precious mistake, but one more and I won't be so easy on you."

I laughed, "Well, you better kill me now because I'd rather die protecting her than be helping you."

He bent over to my side and whispered, "That's a lie. You're going to find her and turn her into the gypsies and I'll tell you why. The rest of Janna's life… things are going to be coming after her. Kalderash for revenge, Vengeance Demons for her help, and anyone else that knows what's coming and want her power. Not to mention The First will be after her because she is protecting the slayer. Foolish little brother… you're in love and you can't see it, but what is worse for the girl? Running from monsters her whole life… or maybe you can persuade the gypsies to let her live, and that way she'll have better protection than that librarian and so called slayer."

"They won't listen to me and you know it Damian!"

"No, they will listen if you show them the prophecies I have about Janna. Goodness, she doesn't even know how special she is or about the power she holds. Well, you better hurry with your decision. I am betting the mystical hold won't last another month."

I spit blood from my mouth onto the floor, "How do you know so much? I never see you and yet you knew I had Janna and you knew I had fallen in love with her… how is that?"

"I get around."

Without looking at my brother, I stood up from the floor and turned around, but he was already gone.

*Jenny*

I was putting away the rest of my clothes in the closet as Rupert was taking his shower. It at least gave me something to do. He managed to get lots of my shirts and skirts, not to mention my favorite leather jacket. Roaming through the drawers, I laughed at the thought of Rupert looking through my bra's and underwear. I bet he enjoyed that. I liked how he cleared out half the closet for my clothes and moved his stuff all to one side.

_I like to think of it as him making room for me in his life. It made me feel special._

I put the picture frame on the nightstand, my tiger on the bed, magic supplies down stairs where I learned Rupert kept his magic supplies, and waited for him to be done so I could put my perfumes and lotions in the bathroom. For now, I laid comfortably in the bed wearing my pajamas and hugging my new laptop as I was slowly falling asleep with Tiger at my side.

Suddenly breaking the silence, Rupert's phone started to ring. Lazily, I got up to go answer it.

"Hello?" I yawned into the phone.

"Okay Giles, now you know you owe me an explanation. Who is your girlfriend?" I could tell the voice on the other line was Xander, and to hear Xander talking to me, I was suddenly wide awake in panic as well as delighted to be listening to another familiar voice. "Giles?" he asked again when I took too long to respond.

"Umm… Hi." With my free hand, I hit myself in the head for talking in my normal voice. The next time I would respond, I'd tweak my voice a little.

"Hey, you're not Giles…"

*Xander*

A woman had answered Giles's phone and I was quickly intrigued.

_It was Giles cuddle monkey! Okay, never again will I use that term for Giles, even in my own mind!_

"Who is this?" I asked hoping for a name.

"L-Lucy…" she responded sounding only slightly familiar, "One second and I'll get Giles!"

"No, No, No…" I hoped she hadn't left yet. "Actually I was hoping to talk to you."

There was a long moment of silence but she finally spoke, "about what?"

"Are you Giles girlfriend?"

"No silly, Giles doesn't have a girlfriend."

I was frustrated and not taking this anymore. "Ralph said that he would keep Giles's girlfriend safe. Do you know who he was talking about?"

"Uh, I think you might have heard wrong deary… Ralph has only been watching over one person all day today and her name was… Gerfred. Maybe you just got the words confused…"

"Gerfred?!" I practically shouted. I could easily see how I could have mixed them up but I didn't want to believe it.

"Yea, she passed away today. Ralph had to rip out her heart because she was a demon of some sort…"

I knew the demon that she spoke of and started to buy her story."Trust demon?"

"That's it! Yea, Rupert and I are real sad."

_But why did she answer his phone?_

"So how do you and Rupert know each other?" I asked suspiciously.

"Sister." She answered a little too quickly for my liking, "Gerfred's sister, and Gerfred was his neighbor." I could hear her sniffling, "He's just helping me through these tough times."

 _I bet. Of course you two are just sitting around drinking tea._ I looked over at the time and saw it was about five thirty.  _Okay… I guess tea doesn't turn intimate until around seven._

"What is he doing right now?"

"Bathroom. He's in the bathroom."

I hated myself for accusing Giles for something as crazy as having a girlfriend, and although part of me still felt it was true, I decided that since he lost another friend today, I'd be better off if left him alone, but just for tonight.

The old lady on the phone continued, "Is there anything else? I really shouldn't be using Rupert's phone."

"No, I guess that's all. I'm sorry to bother you."

"You didn't bother me one bit Xander." I felt the truth in her words and smiled at the sweet woman through the phone. "Well, good-bye now."

"Good bye." I responded as she hung up the phone.

_Wait a tick... she called me Xander. I know I'm a pain to Giles, but I doubt he talks about me to other people._

*Jenny*

With I sigh of relief, I fell back on the bed and was glad to get that over with. At the same time Giles came out of the bathroom wearing his robe and I had to try to keep a straight face as for I have never seen him in anything but tweed. I quickly sat back up and this time, I was the one choking on my words.

"I-I took care of Xander for you."

"Oh, I forgot!" he panicked, "What happened?!"

He looked funny with his wet hair and widened eyes looking worried.

"I took care of it Rupert, remember? The story is kind of long… just make sure I tell you before you leave tomorrow."

"Right, let's not worry about that now." He leaned himself against the doorway.

Hesitantly, I grabbed my box of perfumes and lotions and walked over to unload them in the bathroom. I wasn't exactly sure where to put them so I decided to ask Rupert. I could see him staring at me through the mirror.

"Where should I put these?"

He walked toward me, and lightly kissed my cheek. I felt his cool breath which caused me to tremble, and to keep myself steady, I had to hold my breath. I felt the knot holding his robe closed pressing against my back as he reached around me and put my things in the medicine cabinet. I closed my eyes and looked away. I felt so guilty. I didn't deserve this. When he was done, he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yea, I just needed to sneeze." I lied, "I-I think it's gone now."

I turned around and broke out of his hold, walking out of the bathroom and got my laptop off the bed, placing it on the floor and out of the way.

"I-I think we should light a candle for Lucy tonight." I continued.

"As you wish." He smiled and quickly put some pajama pants on under his robe.

He then headed down stairs to get a candle and a lighter.

I had to take a breath, and my palms started sweating. I was over loading with guilt. Ralphs kiss, my little lie to Xander, losing Angelus's cure, Lucy, and just… everything. I hated it, but tonight was not the right night to be seduced; I needed at least some kind of inner peace, and right now, I was fighting a war with myself.

I kept quiet and just starred at the floor when Rupert walked back in putting the lighted candle on the nightstand. I watched him as he came and sat next to me.

"Rupert…" he kissed my cheek as I continued, "we can't do this tonight."

"I know." He replied gently patting my back, "I wouldn't take advantage of you like that; I just like to tease. I understand you need time to cope with Lucy's death. You guys were pretty close."

I nodded burying my head in his chest, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be Jenny." He kissed my forehead. "It's not your fault."

"But why does it feel like it is?"

"Because you're scared." He held me tight, "We all are."

All night he just cradled me in his arms until we had both fallen asleep. For the first time Rupert felt warm under my cool skin, and I sat in his lap resting against his bare chest, the way I liked it. The light from Lucy's candle flickered as it was the only thing that was lighting the room. Her short but memorable acquaintance with me had flowed through my mind as parts of it even managed to appear in my dream.


	16. Crazy Filthy Floor

*Rupert*

_It was wrong. No, maybe it was right. Damn it Jenny, why do you make me so crazy?!_

I was at work cleaning up from the day before. Since apparently these students were being turned into the demon, no need to research for demons any more. Simple task. Putting books back in the stacks. Then why is it taking me so long?

_It's taking so long you idiot because you miss her. You told her not to come to work with you, even if in the back of your mind you wanted to her to protest. Why should she be home alone when she could be here with me?_

I already had this argument with myself, but I wasn't very happy with my decision.

_No, she is safer at home. Demon remember? Running around the school… she is much safer at home. Besides, she is not going to want to hide out in my office all day anyway!_

I am not sure what fighting with myself was going to accomplish. She was home right now, and is going to stay there. Nothing I can do about it now. I have to wait until the end of the day to see her again. I strongly wished for no after hours demon hunting today. I really missed Jenny, even if I had seen her not two hours ago.

_Her safety is way more important than your selfish desire to see her. Remember that. Always remember that._

As I finally slid the last book onto its place on the self, something small and warm wrapped its way around my waist. I jumped in surprise and tried turning around to see the attacker.

"Buffy, I would appreciate it if you didn't…" I thought I was dreaming as soon as I had seen Jenny standing behind me, and not Buffy. I froze and stood a moment in awe. An untamed excitement rushed through my veins, "Jenny! What are you doing here?"

"Surprise…" She whispered. "You told me to come remember?"

I quickly replayed this morning's conversation in my head, and I said nothing of the sort. I was sure of it.

"No, actually I said that you really shouldn't come to work with me. The demon could be…"

"Oh, is that what you said?" she interrupted, "See, when you try and give me a long lecture that early in the morning, it mostly goes in one ear and out the other. Sorry, I guess I'll just have to stick around… and help out if you need it."

"Very funny. You know exactly what I said, and yet you still came." I had to take a pause. I was very excited to see her, but had to try and sound angry. I could already tell it wasn't working. I could hear her soft laugh as her arms locked me in a hug. "I am very disappointed in you Jenny."

She shook her head, "No you're not."

I took a deep breath, preparing to argue back but I couldn't. I looked down, defeated, and shook my head. "… no I am not. But that doesn't matter. You shouldn't be here." I looked back up at her curious brown eyes and the rest of my argument was forgotten.

"I missed you too." She smiled.

_She read me like a book._

I could feel my ears burning while I tried to hide my very noticeable defeat. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well, if you don't count the million of presents you've given me since I have returned, no. I would say you are as incomprehensible as when you start getting all British."

"Sorry… blunt is not a friend of mine."

"More like an enemy." She suggested.

Lightly, she pulled out of our hug and turned around admiring the library that I had just finished cleaning. Why do I even bother? Another demon will just burst in and ruin it again.

"Wow." She breathed, "I guess I never realized that the library has not changed much."

_No. It really has changed… I don't think I have ever seen the library so… so happy. The library was delighted to be in her presence; … or maybe that was just me._

"I disagree." I walked to her side, "I believe the library is very different since you last saw it."

"How so?" she looked over at me and I couldn't help but cup her chin in my hand.

"…It's more cautious."

We inched slowly for a kiss. Her tender hands held onto me tightly as our lips parted. I could have been mistaken, but I believe Jenny was  _crying?_  I pulled away to look at her and I wiped away the little tears that ran down her cheek.

"Your right…" She continued, putting her finger to my lips, and hiding her grief with a smile. "…but we can work on that." She winked and walked away before I realized she was talking about our kiss.

"Wait." I fallowed after her into my office. "Jenny, what is it? Why are you crying?"

She stopped in the doorway of my office and didn't look over at me. She stared at the floor. "Nothing." Her words were dry. They scared me.

"Did I do something wrong?" I too was almost in tears.

"No! God no!" she turned finally looking at me, "your perfect." She put her hand to my face, "No, Rupert, your perfect."

"Then what's troubling you?"

She looked away from me and put her arm back down at her side. When she was about to say something, the library door swung open. Willow and Xander both walked in looking rather worried.

"Giles!" Willow shouted out worried, "I think we have a lead in how the swimmers are being drugged!"

I looked over at Jenny but the door to my office was already closed with her hiding safely inside. Slightly confused, I looked back at Willow and hesitantly walked back out to the library.

"What is it?" I asked.

For the first time, I had gotten a good look at Xander. He was shaking and I think covered in sweat. Obviously frightened, he tried breaking out of Willow's grip. She was holding very tightly to his arm.

"Is he…"

Willow saw my concern and tried explaining. "He is fine for now. Since he realized that he also was… accidentally drugged, he's been, well… a little on edge."

"A little on EDGE!" he shouted, "At any moment now I could abandon my skin and turn into a slayable goldfish for Buffy to… to… SLAY!"

"Xander please stay calm and try explaining what happened to you…" I said a little irritated.

"Yea, sure! I have realized just how much I love my skin!"

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated right now Xander…"

"The steam!" Willow interrupted me, "The steroids… it's in the steam."

"Oh…" I looked at Xander as he harshly yanked his arm out of Willow's grip, "OH!"

"What is he "Oh-ing" about?" Buffy walked in looking at me. Cordeilla was at her side.

Willow looked back at her friend and Xander started pacing back and forth. Willow didn't say anything so I jumped in to help her out, "the steroids… it's in the steam."

*Jenny*

I heard only bits and pieces of the conversation outside, but I managed to discover that the steroids were in the steam. Poor Xander. I was looking at him through the little office window and he looked exactly how I felt. Helpless.

I had not meant to start crying earlier, but Rupert was being so sweet, and … and HE JUST MAKES ME CRAZY! Everything I was feeling guilty for started coming back and I just cracked. I almost told him. I was close. Instead, I hid from him, and the rest of them. They were my life. All of them. If he never forgives me for what happened with Ralph, or if they never forgive me for what happened to Angel… I would be lost. I would have no life. Lifeless. Soulless. Take your pick really.

My heart was starting to separate, but I tried pulling myself together before Rupert came back in. I didn't want him to see me like this… again.

"What's the plan?" I whispered when I heard Rupert opening the office door behind me.

I turned around to meet his confused gaze, "You mean you heard that?"

"I heard enough." I admitted. "Besides, it's kind of hard not to hear Xander's cries of worry."

"Well, as annoying as that teenage girl is… he does have every right to be worried." He took off his glasses closing the door behind him, "the boy has been drugged."

"So what are we going to do?"

He looked down at the floor lost in another world for a few seconds before finally speaking, "I gave this a lot of thought and… Jenny, since you are here, I am going to ask if you can do me a favor."

"Anything." I agreed. I didn't care what I would have to do. As long as it helped.

He walked over towards the phone on his desk, "I am going to need you to get a sample of the steam from the boys locker room. I have already sent Xander and Cordeilla to check out the pool while I gather up the rest of the swim team. But other than those demons running loose, the most important thing is to find an antidote for the boys that have not already… well… changed…"

He picked up the phone and I stopped him, "Rupert, that's not a very smart idea, I can get caught, someone might see me! Why don't you send Willow or Buffy?"

"Buffy is handling the coach, and I doubt Willow will get very much help from nurse Greenliegh. I have a small theory that she had a bigger part in all this." He started dialing numbers onto his phone, "I also need you to do it because once you've got a sample of the steam, I am going to need you to give it to Ralph and see if he can hopefully find the antidote. You were right before, maybe I can put some trust in him."

I froze instantly at Ralph's name as Rupert started speaking into the phone.

"Yes, hello this is Rupert Giles again, Nancy… I was wondering if I may speak to Ralph for a moment. I need to ask him for a favor."

He looked over at me and started laughing. "Well, I am glad things are getting better hospital wise…" he paused for another moment, "alright."

As he waited for Ralph to answer the phone, I started to panic. This was the one favor I couldn't do.

"That's not a good idea either Rupert!"

"What are you talking about?" he looked at me confused.

"Uh… I don't trust him." He gave me a funny look and I continued, "You know I don't like Ralph very much and I think it's about time we found a new doctor!"

Panic took over when I could lightly hear Ralphs voice on the other end of the line, and I pushed the button down on Rupert's phone, causing him to hang up on Ralph.

"Jenny what has gotten into you!?" he said confused as he hesitantly put the phone down, "You've been the one person trying to convince me that we can trust Ralph, and now that I trust him… you don't think we can trust him anymore. I know your mad at him for what happened to Lucy but…"

"That's not it!" I almost shouted. I took a moment and swallowed hard, as I continued whispering, "I don't want Xander, or any of the Scoobs for that matter, getting involved with my issues, or the gypsies again. Those two worlds can't mix again and I won't allow it too!"

"Oh," his confused expression changed to one of understanding.

Although that wasn't the whole reason I didn't want Ralph involved with this… it was still true.

He continued, "Well, Jenny he may be the only one that can help us in such short notice, and I am not sure how many times these boys have been exposed. Xander may even turn into a demon fish if we can't find an antidote in time… and call me an optimist, but I do prefer the over-reacting teenage girl Xander."

I looked down at my feet to hide my fear and frustration.  _Why was he forcing me back to Ralph?_  "Trust me on this Jenny. It's going to be fine, but right now it's important to make sure we don't lose any more students…"

 _Oh… that's why._  I hated it but he was right. We can't lose any more students. I replied with a nod and he kissed my forehead.

"Tell Ralph what's up when you see him. I really need to get a hold of the swim team but I am not sure how to find them all in time!"

"The intercom might be faster, rather than hunting each of them down" I suggested.

"Good thinking." He replied loving the idea.

I must have sounded nervous or something because as I was about to walk out of his office, he grabbed my sleeve, turning me around.

"Jenny, I trust you. Don't worry about anything. You have my word that no matter what, everything will be okay."

_I trust you… those three words were punishing me._

He pulled the hood of my jacket up and over my head, and then tucked the stray hairs behind my ears. His fingers then pulled my chin up for a kiss, and I was a little disoriented when he pulled away, "Just keep an eye out for the demon. Your safety is more important than everyone finding out that your back."

I smiled looking down, fixing his tie. "You be safe too, and Rupert…" I looked up into his curious green eyes, as a smile couldn't stop but spread through my lips, "I love you."

I gave him a hug before he could respond, "I love you too Jenny."

When I let him go, I headed out of the office and back into the halls of Sunnydale high, making my way to the boys locker room. _Get in get out._  Class must have just ended because the hallway was filled with students that I had not very successfully tried to avoid pushing. I hid under my hood and did my best to keep looking at the floor as kids passed by making their way to class.

As I looked at the filthy floor, it reminded me of myself. _I was filthy, a horrid person, and I should be stepped on by people. I deserved it. Maybe when bad people die, they are reincarnated into a floor. That's probably not possible but hey who knows. I feel like I deserve to be a floor._

More and more students were flooding the halls and I became nervous. My palms were shaking violently, as if a cold chill had gone through me. Thankfully the sound of Rupert's voice on the intercom had somehow managed to calm me.

"Uh… hello…" he paused, probably realizing how dumb it was to say, hello, on an intercom. "eh, would the swim team please meet in the library immediately. There is an urgent matter that needs some discussing… er, thanks."

Doesn't sound suspicious at all… I laughed sarcastically. After Rupert finished with the intercom, I instantly heard an angered, familiar voice making its way down the hall.

"What does that over-paid, goody two shoes librarian think he is doing with my intercom?!"

Shnider was making his way through the hall but I couldn't see him over the crowd of tall students. Unless Shnider hit a belated growths-spurt I doubt I'd be able to see him, but I could definitely hear him. The last thing Rupert needed right now was Shnider on his tail.

"Thank you for giving me a reason to yell at somebody Giles… if that Summers girl is linked to this misuse of school property, I may also have the pleasure of writing a detention."

I had to think of something and fast. There is only one thing I could remember that got Shnider more ruffled up than Buffy. Let's just hope he hasn't changed much. It was a long shot, and incredibly stupid but I didn't have time to think the plan through so I didn't hesitate.

"Did you hear…" I shouted down the hall not sure of where Shnider was, but at least knowing he could hear me, "the swim team is planning to sue the school!"

"What!" I could hear Shnider's stubby little shoes stop dead in their tracks. Suddenly I spotted the blue doors that led straight to the locker rooms and I made a dash towards them.

"Who said that?! Please don't sue!" he pleaded searching for the voice that said it.

Lightly pushing one or two intrigued kids out of my way, I finally made it to a student free zone unnoticed. Okay, maybe noticed for shouting, but not noticed as a X-dead person… so I guess that's good. Still running, I slammed the door shut behind me in the boy's locker room in case I still needed to hide from curious students, as well as Shnider. I was thankful I could take care of that for Rupert, but now it was my job to get a sample of the steam.

_…stupid steam…_

After checking that the coast was clear through a little window on the door, I turned around facing the locker rooms, only to see a student standing behind me. I jumped, frightened, and my hood fell back to my shoulders. My heart raced while my back pressed harder and harder against the door behind me.

_Oops…_

"Hey! You're not supposed to be in here!"

The student looked angry. So much so that it frightened me. His fists were clenched as soon as he noticed I was in the "wrong locker room" and his eyes narrowed on me. It was hard to recognize him at first because the student had always had a soft face, yet it had somehow gotten rougher …the steroids I figured… and I don't think I had ever seen him angry before. If I was thinking about the right person, his name was Sean, and he was in my Computer Science class, as well as on the swim team. Good student. Hope the steroids did not change that.

When his hands slowly relaxed and his face softened, he looked… almost frightened. I wasn't sure who was more scared though. I was just discovered, but this kid probably thinks he is looking at a ghost.

"Ms. Calendar?" he asked trying to get a better look at my face.

I didn't say anything. I just stood there motionless, and also trying to remember how to breathe.

"Holy fudge nuggets… it is Ms. Calendar!" He began jumping with excitement.

_Wow, that was a crazy mood swing._

"But I thought you were dead. Wait, maybe I'm dreaming…" Hesitantly he reached out his arm and pinched himself through his shirt. When it had no effect on him, he looked at me again. Only this time he leaned over and pinched me.

"Ouch!" I yell pulling my arm away.

"Ms. Calendar!" the boy said with joy as he pulled me into a hug as he started… crying? "I… I thought I would never see you again!"

"Uh… hi." I couldn't think of anything to say as I tried pulling out of his hug, but he certainly had a tight grip.

He continued sobbing, "W-what a-a-are you doing in the b-boys locker room?"

 _The truth couldn't hurt,_  "Hiding… from… Shnider."

I got nervous when his sobs started to sound more like he was sniffing me. I quickly managed to duck out from his arms and get far enough out of his reach.

"Playing hide and seek with Shnider?" he started laughing, "Last I remember, you were at the football game with the librarian." He started coming closer towards me, "I guess you like games."

_…Oh PLEASE NO!_

"No, hate games actually." I said taking a step back with every step he took forward. "Only play solitaire, and that game is for one!"

In a quick jerky motion, he pulled on my arm which caused me to practically fall towards him. With my free arm, I slapped him. The echo could be heard though-out the locker room, and he fell backwards on the floor.  _The filthy floor._  A little dramatic if you ask me, but I did feel bad for slapping him hard. Then I noticed something else, he was clawing away at his stomach. He was in a lot of pain.

"Sorry." I hurried to his side thinking it was me. I was trying to put together how my slap gave him a stomach ache.

_Steroids do weird things…_

As he began to shriek in pain, a horrid smell reached my nose causing me to cringe. He reached out for me weakly, and clawed away at my arm.

"Help…" I heard him mumble.

I didn't know what to do. I was not even sure what was wrong.

"How?" I asked and also started crying.

He didn't answer. Unless you call his cries of great pain an answer. When I saw his skin ripping away, I backed away knowing it was too late. It was hard to explain what was happening. It was hard to watch. This poor boy's skin was just… ripping away, and underneath was horrific smelling fish skin. Skin… it was his skin falling to the floor. His life was gone, and I watched helpless.

_Note to self: Steroids... not good!_

I tried running away to hide behind a locker but didn't get very far. When I heard him stop moaning, I figured I should stop running to avoid making noise.

Suddenly, Rupert's voice echoed in my head.

_"Your safety is more important than anything…"_

The best hiding spot I could settle for at the moment was IN one of the tall lockers that was not locked. To stop my heavy breathing, I just held my breath and listened. My sobs were harder to control. The image of his skin ripping, knowing I could not do anything. It was a horrible feeling. He may have taken steroids and "had it coming to him," but no one deserved that. Except maybe the person responsible…  _yea maybe they deserve to feel what it's like to be ripped open._

"Aghh!" I screamed when the monster had rammed the lockers. It surprised me. I hadn't even heard it coming. For something so big, it moved fast. The lockers shook as it rammed them again, and again. They almost tipped over.

_"Stay inside." Rupert's voice echoed in my head._

It seemed like a stupid idea. If I stayed inside, it could tip over or something much worse. I was frightened and confused.  _The voice repeated itself. "Stay inside!"_

The monster hit the locker again and the door swung open. I was starring directly at the angered creature. He swung his claw coming closer but missing. If anything, the spit from his screams was all that had reached me. When I swore I heard a scream coming from beneath me, he stopped completely. He froze. Slowly, his head turned to the right and he ran out. As he turned away to run out, his claw hit the locker door causing it to close again. The door had slammed so hard that it was stuck with me locked inside. I started banging on it, trying to bang it open, but it was not working.

_"Stay inside Jenny!" Rupert repeated again in my head and I stopped completely._

I was not sure why I was listening to him, but his voice was calming, almost. I was scared. I made no noise, and instead, I looked through the opening holes in the locker. That's when I saw someone. A person, who was constantly rubbing the side of his neck as he worriedly fixed himself up in the mirror.

_My first thought: Xander._

He turned around and confirmed my suspicion. As I watched him, I stood frozen, still trying to pull myself together. With his hand still rubbing his neck, I noticed him looking around the locker room. Instantly his hand fell to his side and he practically ran to the locker I was in. I backed up… not that I could go very far at all. I watched still holding my breath as he reached out his hand and I heard his fingers tracing the door of the locker.

His neck was pink, I guessed from rubbing it, and he looked up. Slowly his eyes moved up the locker, and when they reached mine, they widened. He looked scared. So was I.

"Cordy!" he yelled which confused me.

Without hesitating, he ran out of the locker room. When I was sure he was gone, I continued trying to free myself from the locker using all the power I had. After about three strong tries, the door swung open with me falling to the floor. The cold filthy floor under my bruised skin almost felt comforting. It was over. Something worse could have happened, but I only ended up with a bruise on the arm I fell on. I turned around and saw that the lockers were about as bruised I was. I quickly got up from the floor and took a peek out of the locker rooms to check on Xander. I was just in time to see him and Cordeilla scream and run out safely.

*Xander*

When I had seen the beat up lockers, my first thought was Cordy. If the lockers were not that way this morning, I doubt it was a good sign. It meant that another student had changed. It wasn't looking to good for me, and no matter how hilarious it was watching Cordy tell the demon that she would do  _"anything to make my quality of life better"…_  at the moment, that wasn't the best confidence booster. On the other hand…

_…she thought it was me and she still liked me, even if I was the Lockness monster. Points for the Xan-man._

As we headed back to the library, I was hiding a smile. That was until I realized that she is not usually that nice to me when I am human…

"So I may be over reacting a bit here, but is it always going to take a giant scaly fish demon for you to actually care about someone other than yourself?" I asked.

She looked over at me giving me the evil stare and I let the conversation drop. "Just wondering," I mumbled staring at the floor in front of me as we walked.

"Xander, don't ever do that again!" She argued.

"…do what?! Stop you from socializing with fish demons? Trust me, I was saving you from a boring conversation." I replied sarcastically.

"No Xander! Stop getting yourself in these sticky situations… your making me crazy!"

"Really? Because the whole, having a touching moment with a demon ordeal, made you seem perfectly sane."

"I'm being serious!" she stopped dead in her tracks and looked over at me, "You actually had me planning a life with a fish! If you never got into such… weird problems then I wouldn't ever have to worry about what my boyfriend is going to turn into on a daily basis!"

"Now was that a compliment… or should I be insulted?"

"Be a man Harris!" she continued, "isn't the damsel in distress supposed to be Willow… or something?"

"No, Willow is the brains… technically you're supposed to be the damsel in distress."

She paused to think about it, "Oh…" then she looked angry, "well, stop taking my job!"

"Feel free to be the one turning into a fish demon…"

"Eww!" she screeched turning back towards the directions on the library.

_…Women._

_But she had a point… what do I do for the group?_

My almost intense thinking process was interrupted as we walked in the library and I saw the whole swim team locked up in Oz's book cage thingy. I almost died of laughter, but I hid it very well. If they saw me laughing at them, I'd probably be a Xander Sandwich later. Although, the image was pretty funny.

A bunch of confused looking teenage boys, from the swim team, locked in a cage… _why is this thought process ending in a whole different place then it started?_

To avoid more scary mental images, I looked away and stayed focused on worried Willow.

Giles listened carefully as Willow spoke, "Everyone is accounted for except Sean."

"I think we can safely say we found Sean," Cordy said making our presence known; "He was in the pool skinless dipping."

As I waited a couple seconds for Buffy's usually timed witty remark, I noticed she was gone, "Where's Buffy?"

"She hasn't come back yet…" Willow answered.

We were all lost in an awkward silence looking around and hoping that Buffy would walk in any second to bring us the good news. For a couple minutes we waited, but no one came.

Maybe I should do what Cordy said… Be a man. Do something for the group. I could find Buffy! I could save her! …But knowing my luck, as soon as I walk out of the library to find her, she'd be walking in.

_Well, I'm taking that chance._

*Rupert*

Thankfully, Xander decided to go and look for Buffy. That eased us all a little, and no one rushed to turn down his idea. He was pleased and left looking a little more confident than he did in the beginning of today.

_I knew Jenny was alright. She had to be. She was smart, but I just wished I knew where she was or what she was doing._

Like if something had answered my prayers, suddenly, the doors that lead outside from the library opened and closed themselves twice.

_It was Jenny._

"What was that?!" Cordeilla asked as I made my way to the doors.

"That was J…j…just the wind." I replied, "Stay here, I'll go check it out."

I practically skipped on my way to see Jenny hiding cleverly outside. See, I knew she was smart. I opened the door and held my head outside. Jenny stood behind the door looking a little beaten up. Her hair was a little messed up under her hood, and she tightly hugged what I assumed was the sample of steam.

"Are you alright?!" I whispered.

She took a while but finally nodded. Jenny had been acting a little strange today, and I worried for her.

"I got the sample, but do you think maybe…" she paused. I could feel Willow and Cordeilla staring at me from inside.

"I'll be right back!" I said back to them as I walked outside and closed the door behind me.

I looked back at Jenny who was shivering. "Are you sure your alright?" I asked concerned, giving her a hug for heat.

"Yea. Fine. Rupert, do you think…" I looked down at her, but she wouldn't meet my gaze, "can you go with me later to drop off the steam, or maybe send someone else to do it? I really don't want to see Ralph."

"Jenny look at me." Her head didn't move, so I kissed her forehead, "…Hun, look at me."

Finally she did. She looked as sad as she did when she told me that Lucy was dead.

"I know what you're scared of, but he's not going to." She looked at me confused so I continued, "He's not going to kill Xander or the swim team because they might be demons. Lucy was a different story and I know you know that too."

The confusion was erased from her face and she went back to looking sad.

"Everything Ralph has done so far, has been to protect you. You were the one who even tried showing me that remember?" I cupped her cheek in my hand, "No matter how much you dislike him, you also know we need him."

"No, I don't need him!" she protested.

"Xander needs him." I reminded her. "As much as I would not mind going with you, Buffy is missing and so the rest of us need to split up and find her. If you don't feel like doing this for me, then just remind yourself that you're doing it for Xander."

All she did was nod, and I kissed her sad lips before I headed back inside with the Scoobs.

"Rupert…" she said before I closed the door, and I peeked back outside, "Find her."

I smiled even if she wasn't, "We will."

*Xander*

"Where's Buffy?"

_I could see it under his eyes. No matter how innocent he acted I could see he was hiding something. He knew exactly where she was. The coach. I don't really feel like being very nice to him at the moment, might be the steroids taking over, but I am just not very accepting of the fact that he poisoned me!_

When I heard struggling and splashing coming from down below, I realized where she was. Fighting the monsters this jerk created. I fallowed his eyes. They were looking at a gun sitting not two inches from where I was standing. When Buffy's cries from her fight became thunderous, the coach tried quickly reaching for his gun. Lucky I was able to grab his arm in time, and with enough force to stop him completely. He practically stood there frozen as I began to notice my newly found strength. More out of joy than revenge, I used my whole arm, whipping it back, knocking him in the jaw and then banging him to the floor. This strength was amazing! I was helping Buffy fight! With my Macho-Muscle!

_Ha! Wait till Cordy hears about this! Well, I guess helping Buffy would be more, pulling her up and out of the gutter wouldn't it?!_

I moved toward the hole in the ground that all the noise seemed to be coming from and got a full blown picture of Buffy being ganged up on by all three slayable goldfish. Without really thinking of a better solution, I got down and on my stomach and held my arm out for her to grab. I was not even sure I had enough Macho-muscle to pull her out of here, but despite how bad steroids were, I hoped I had taken enough to save my friend.

"Buffy hurry! Your hand!"

She looked up at me with so much fear in her features that it even scared me. I had never seen Buffy so scared. After a glance at me, she took a deep breath, and dived down in the water. I prepared my arm for her jump. Like a rocket, she shot out of the water, away from the fiends, and grabbed a hold of my hand. It might have pulled my arm out of it's socket, but I didn't care.

_All I was thinking: Don't let go! Don't drop her! Pull! Pull! Pull!_

The monsters below her pulled at her feet, and she held on for dear life. The pain was intense and felt like hours of pulling. As she wiggled, making it harder to hold her, I embraced the burn my arms felt and slowly pulled her up. She was finally moving, and once she could reach the top of the hole without my help, my arm was numb. Soggy, coughing, and wet… it was still Buffy. And I saved her.

She began resting herself on my knee. My pant leg was getting wet as she sat there catching her breath and dripping.

"Thanks!" she breathed the best she could as she looked up at me.

"Just doing my part for our team." I replied.

I rubbed her back as she bent over to catch a breath. She was shivering. Thankfully, this was all over…

_At least I thought._

I heard the bang before I felt it. I wished I could have never felt it. A sudden strike to the back of my head surprised me and I fell to my left. Was I dead? My head was throbbing, probably covered in blood, or a giant bruise if I survived the blow. I couldn't open my eyes, I'd be scared to see what had happened to me.

_Next thing I knew, I was driving. Or not me, but someone and I was watching it happen. I felt their pain, she… I think, was very hurt, almost on the verge of crying one too many times. Then, it played out again. The pain. Suddenly, she was stuck in the back of the head with a wrench, just like me, and her head banged hard against the cars horn. The car came to a screeching stop, and the horn hollered until she lifted her head again. Same pain. Same giant bruise. Thankfully she was safe, no cars on the road to hit her, but she did manage to get a lot of unwanted attention coming from the pedestrians walking on the sidewalk. To her surprise, she looked behind her and around the car, but no one was there. Stunned and confused, her hand reached to message the back of her throbbing neck, and she started the car again, continuing to make her way to the hospital._

_…convenient…_

Opening my eyes again, I heard yelling. After a couple of blinks my blurred vision was made clear. Buffy was holding tightly to the coaches shoe to avoid having him fall in the hole head first. By the time I moved my aching body to the hole to help her out, it was too late. The coach had fallen into the gutter and he was surrounded by not very happy looking demons. Not that demons are ever happy.

_…That was weird, and it really hurt!_

*Jenny*

_"No matter how much you dislike him, you also know we need him…"_

His words haunted my mind. Tears gave me a headache, as I knew I had to hold them back. I've cried one too many times. I don't need Ralph! I'll never need him! I was driving as slow as I could on my way to the hospital. I was in no rush to see him, but Rupert was also right, Xander needs him.

_"Do it for Xander."_

Unexpectedly, I felt a heavy metal object violently smack the back of my head. Stunned and only half conscious, all I could hear was the sound of the car alarm yelling as my throbbing head rested against it.

_I wasn't dead, I knew what dead felt like, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt like hell!_


	17. Mixed Emotions

*Ralph*

Under the circumstances, I felt pretty good. As far as punishments go, prank calls from Rupert seem tame. Wonder why the Brit is holding back. Maybe Jenny has not told him yet. It would explain why I woke up alive today.

… _Not that I could wake up dead._

As far as the vengeance demon that is chasing Jenny goes… well I could only WISH it finds her. That would probably be the best thing to happen to me. I mean, nothing good has come from falling in love with her. Unless you count my "wonderful" new nose job from last night. Get rid of her. Take her out of my life. What should I care?

_Emphasis on the "should…"_

No, I do care. In fact, I care so much that even when I was crazy drunk last night, as soon as I found out a vengeance demon was after Jenny, instinctively I went out and prepared a spell to track it. I found my handy-dandy spell by my bed side when I woke up. I knew what it was right away. A circle in the middle of the floor to call D'hoffrin, candles burning sending many different fragrants around the room, and a blue glow over the map of Sunnydale that was opened up on the floor. It wasn't here yet. The vengeance demon. When the glow turns red, it will only focus on a certain point of the map and it will follow the vengeance demons every move. Even its disappearing acts, as long as it doesn't leave Sunnydale. However, I don't believe I got around to summoning D'hoffrin. I might have passed out before I had tried. When D'hoffrin comes, he usually leaves a burnt floor where he exits.

I blew out the candles and cleaned up stuff before leaving this morning. I had to clear my mind. Maybe letting the demon get rid of Jenny for me was a smarter and safer idea. Yet, part of me will not let that happen. I didn't know why. Or maybe I was just denying my reason for trying to save her, but whatever the reason, I couldn't let it happen.

"Ralph…" Nancy breathed sounding concerned. I looked over at her meeting her eyes, and she patted my shoulder over the counter. "Are you alright?"

"Just fine." I replied. I tried smiling but it felt awkward. Even I could tell it was a fake one.

"I would believe you but you have been standing here in a trance since Rupert called, and that tends to make me think otherwise… something is wrong Ralph. Let me in… what is it?"

"It's… it's Jenny." I looked down taking a breath, "We got in a fight and I don't know how to say sorry. Rupert hung up before I could say anything."

"Why don't you tell her in person?" she said standing up straight.

"You don't understand Nance… she won't see me, and I don't blame her. Jenny shouldn't…"

I stopped when I noticed Nancy was looking over my shoulder and raising her hand to point behind me. The weak smile on her face told me exactly who it was but I couldn't believe it.

"Well," Nancy whispered, "maybe it's not as bad as you thought."

I turned around and my slight suspicion was confirmed. Jenny was behind me, and god what a sight. She was a beauty. It took me a while to realize that the beauty was covered in face bruises.

I practically ran up to her, "Jenny what happened?!" I whispered, "Who attacked you?"

I reached up to touch her face but instead she jammed something against my chest. I held the glass tube of water in my hands and looked back at her confused.

"I'm fine." She said angrily.

Her brow lowered and she starred at me seriously. I was scared. I automatically got defensive without thinking first. My mistake.

"What… First prank calls from Rupert, and now he sends the prey back to the predator… part of me thinks he is not playing with a full sack. You have not told him yet have you?"

She looked away, face still serious. The bump on her forehead became very apparent and I couldn't help but feel guilty. A terrifying thought crossed my mind.

"Jenny… did Rupert do this to you, because of me?!"

She looked up at me astonished. Her hand came up so quickly to smack my face but I was quick enough to stop it. Her little wrist was tight in my grip. She looked around the hospital noticing all the uncomfortable stares.

"Fallow me." I said frustrated.

I pulled her by the wrist and she stumbled behind me as I pulled her into an empty conference room. I threw her inside and slammed the door behind us.

I took a deep breath before looking back at her, "I'm…"

"No." she interrupted. I looked back at her but her eyes admired the floor, "No, I didn't tell him."

"Jenny, are you crazy!" I blurted out, "You have to tell him!"

She looked at me confused. She was as dumbfounded as I was.

… _Did I really just say that?_

"Excuse me?"

"I mean…" I ran my hand through my hair; all this is giving me a head-ache, "Jenny I know you. This is going to kill you on the inside. The… the guilt."

"Stop! Stop worrying about me! I'm not yours to worry about Ralph!"

"Then why are you here?" I yelled back.

"This is not about me. My friends have been infected and they need the anti-dote."

I looked at the tube of water, and it began to make more sense. "So you came for my help?"

Jenny didn't answer my question, but instead she continued, "That's what infected them, some kind of steroid, and if they don't get the anti-dote in time, they will turn into fish demon things."

"The one's that…"

"Yea."

"Oh." I examined the bottle at eye level, "so is this the key to your forgiveness? Helping you out?"

"I am not the one who needs your help." She said smugly.

"Oh really." I tossed the bottle back at her and she caught it carefully, "you find the anti-dote then."

She looked at the bottle defeated, then looked back at me, "Ralph!"

"Say you need my help."

She didn't answer. Her eyes darted at me angrily but I wasn't giving in. "Jenny, you may be angered with me, and trust me, that's probably better for the both of us, but right now you need my help!"

"No…"

I interrupted her, "I also have more information about the people hunting you, but first I need you to tell me that you need my help."

"Ralph I don't give a crap about me. That's not what I came for."

"Fine, you came for your friends. Whatever the reason, I can still be useful for you. I want you happy and your friends safe, if that's what you want." I watched her getting frustrated. It burned in her eyes, and she squeezed tighter to the tube. "Jenny, do you want my help, or not?"

She stood in silence. Every five seconds it looked like she wanted to yell something back at me but no words came out. Her tender lips were almost locked in a pout, and I had to look away. Remembering how they tasted, it was too much.

"I don't forgive you." She finally said, "… and this doesn't mean I ever will."

"Whatever." I breathed, "I just want you to know I'm sorry."

"Fine." She looked me directly in the eye. She was tired. "I need your help."

She looked down at the bottle in her hands and tossed it my way. I caught it with a real smile on my face, and studied Jenny for a moment. She could leave now, yet she was not going anywhere. I realized why. Jenny looked nervous, almost scared because, she wanted to know…

"Ralph," her voice was shaky, "You said you had information about who is hunting me…"

The beauty with chocolate brown eyes didn't look at me.

"Hun…" I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, "Jenny… you don't need to worry about it. I am already taking care of it. It's nothing you really need to worry about…"

"I want to know." She leaned against the wall, and her eyes gently closed.

"No you don't." I corrected.

"Tell me Ralph." Fear was in her eyes when she looked at me. Fear controlled her features, "You promised."

"A vengeance demon, but… but I am already on the hunt for it. In fact, maybe you'll never even have to worry about it because I'll make sure it's dead before it could touch you."

"Vengeance demon?" the word seemed to scare her more than the creature itself, "have I been that bad that they want my help for vengeance now?!"

"Jenny…"

"No… never mind." She walked to the door without another word.

*Jenny*

I wasn't going to breakdown in front of Ralph again. I was not going to let him into my personal life again. That seemed to have done enough damage.

"Thank you." I said about to leave the empty conference room but he stopped me.

"That's not all." Ralph said.

I turned to face him, and it took him a while for him to finally start, "My brother, he said something about prophecy's pertaining to you. He was going on about power that you had that you don't even know about. He could be bluffing, sounds like something he would do for attention or to waist my precious time, but you might want to look into it just in case." He looked at me sincerely. I think he noticed me tense up, "He also did mention something about not being able to trace you… and I believe that has something to do with you raising from the dead… the mystical has some kind of protection over you right now, so nobody can hurt you magically for a while."

I didn't say anything. Instead, I reached up and rubbed my neck.  _Well, someone must have found a loop-hole. No doubt something mystical wacked me in the back of the head._

"I wish I knew more than that, but he didn't say much. That's my brother: keeping things as vague as possible."

"No problem. Thank you for telling me."

"I'll keep you updated on the anti-dote, and Jenny, stay safe."

I nodded and finally headed out of that horrid place. I think something was wrong with me. Maybe I am crazy. Honestly, that would be a more comforting conclusion than believing that everything that happened on this hellmouth was real. However, since I am neither crazy, and no one was on the road or in the car to hit me from the back, I was forced to believe something mystical had occurred. Although, Ralph pointed out that it could not have been possible. The mystical is protecting me. Still, no other guess than Voodoo would make sense to me, so I guess it was something Rupert needed to figure out for me, as well as the prophecies.  _Was it possible? Prophecies about me and some sort of unknown power that I had no idea I had? If that was even possible, what power could that even be?_

All of a sudden, I had more questions than my brain could contain.

If I ignored Ralph and stuck with the voodoo conclusion, I knew that Ralph was not the Voodoo doctor. As soon as I walked into the hospital, I heard him going on and on about how he wanted me to know he was sorry. If it was his brother, he would have mentioned something, but I still don't think I should cross him off the list just yet. For now, my theory remained to be voodoo.

I unlocked my car and jumped inside. Before shutting the door, I just sat back and relaxed all my muscles against the seat. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  _You can only truly find peace, when dead._

I jumped when something small and light had jumped into my lap.

"AH!" I opened my eyes to see a little dog sitting in my lap. He jumped in from the outside. "Oh my," I breathed in heavily, "You scared me little guy."

This puppy had been the one that hung out in front of the hospital for a while, or at least since I had been here. His soft fur tickled my skin, and he was so cute you can't help but laugh. I gently pet the white and black silky and yet, tangled fur of this puppy. Looking deep into its eyes, it seemed to look frightened. I took my eyes of the puppy and examined the atmosphere outside. A dog catcher was roaming around the hospital. My guess was someone had called to take it away. The thought angered me. This puppy wouldn't hurt a fly. Unless, of course, he accidently sat on it or something, but even that would be accidental.

I couldn't let this puppy be taken away, so I grabbed it from the sides, and shifted it into the passenger's seat. As I lifted it to the other seat, it reached it's tongue out to lick my face.

"Now none of that, or else I am leaving you here."

As soon as I said that, the puppy behaved. I was surprised. It must have been trained because it seemed like it understood me.

"Good boy." I pet him one last time as it sat perfectly still after getting comfy in the passenger seat, and I drove back home.

*Later*

After finally deciding to leave the dog outside with a bowl of water, I walked inside locking the door behind me. I felt like I did a good deed saving the dog, but I knew I couldn't keep it. I feel like Rupert and I are looking after too much already.

I got inside and immediately went to the phone. I dialed the number to the library and stretched out in the little wooden chair beside it's desk. The phone rang. My heart smiled.

"Hello?" The tired voice answered.

"Hey Rupert, it's me."

"Oh, hi Jenny! Did everything go alright?"

With my free hand I rubbed the back of my neck. It still burned pretty bad but it felt good to relax and stretch. "Uh, well Ralph is searching for the antidote, but the rest of the news is going to have to wait until you get home."

"Is everything okay?"

"Depends on how you look at it. How about you? How is everything?"

"Um… we found the demons, the coach was responsible like we expected and now also dead, Buffy and Xander got beaten up pretty bad but they are fine and dandy, and all we have to do left is get the antidote into the swim team and it looks like our work here is done."

"…But you had a fun day though?" I said sarcastically.

I heard him chuckle, "I'll have more fun when I get home. I'll be there soon, I just need Willow to get the swim team's phone numbers for me and I'll be on my way."

"Sounds great. I'll be home, and dinner will be ready."

"Jenny don't bother. I don't believe I have anything in the fridge anyway. I'll make a stop on my way home and I swear this will be our last night of fast food."

"Right, and for the next couple nights we'll order pizza." I joked.

"If that's what your heart desires love." I smiled, "Alright well, I will see you when I get home. I love you. Stay safe."

"Love you."

We hung up. I relaxed.


	18. Selfish Youth

***Rupert***

_Remember when times used to be easy? Wake up every morning and simply enjoy the homemade quality breakfast made just for you. Your everyday was planned to what you needed, and no surprises. Go to school. Walk home. Finish up the excessive homework. Watch as much television as parents would allow. Then, the next day you wake up and realize that mouth watering cereal is sitting on the table calling out to you, and your whole routine starts over again. That is, until you've reached ten years old. Nope. After you reach that age, then life becomes uncontrollable. Surprises, challenges, tests, violence, destiny's, drama, sex, drugs, inner demons, outer demons, love, money, loss, and life was so much easier when none of these things made sense to us. If Adam and Eve had never eaten the apple to gain it's knowledge, life would be peaceful. Life would make sense if we didn't learn about it. However, that's how we live. People need to know. Most of the problems people grow up with tend to be mental or metaphorical, yet, when you live in Sunnydale, all of it is real; all the way down to the inner and outer demons. I have long since given up on trying to make sense of life. I don't try to understand it, I work to protect it, and the people in it. Although, I continue to ask myself, If I know crazy things are supposed to happen, Why am I always surprised when more random, and horrible things keep happening?_

It just sat there. I just stood and watched it sleep. A puppy lay on my door mat blocking the entrance into my own house.

_Was this little creature a sign from God? If so, it meant that if this puppy did not move out of my way, it was probably not going to wake up! Now that my school day is over, I have never been so aggressive to get myself home and it's no doubt in my mind that the only reason is because of Jenny. I go crazy without her, and I'm crazy about her. I know that as soon as I see that brown-eyed girl smile when I walk through that door, everything else that has happened on this demonic day will vanish; No matter what demon or pup that needed to be murdered in the process._

"Come on now…" I said nudging lightly at the dog with my foot, "Move!"

The pup looked up at me lazily and slowly stood up. It walked a couple feet away as I unlocked the door and watched with interest. As soon as I opened the door and stepped one foot in, the pup sleepily walked back to the door mat, laid on it, and wagged its tail. Hesitantly, I walked inside while just simply closing the door behind me.

_What is it doing in front of my condo in the first place?_

I turned around and saw Jenny standing beside the desk and talking on the phone. She could have been mistaken as a teenage girl. As if her youth was not haunting me and hanging over my head already. Watching her in awe, I never understood why such a catch would choose me? She had not noticed that I had walked in. Her hair dangled in a high ponytail as it dripped water onto her shoulder. She was fresh out of the shower. I smelled her scent as soon as I had opened the door. She wore loose black pajama bottoms and a white shirt that hugged her as I wanted too.

_Again I ask myself, "How do I deserve her?"_

I placed the warm greasy bag of Mexican food for us onto the kitchen table and finally she looked in my direction keeping the phone at her ear. Her face lit up and a smile emerged through her lips. I melted in it. Her eyes held me as I practically danced to her. I stood behind wrapping my arms around her... yet still envying the white t-shirt. She relaxed herself into my hold, and I kissed the top of her head. She began to unwind even more.

_She is what I live for. She is why life does not need to make sense to me. As long as I have her, nothing else really needs to make sense._

My nose pressed against the back of her head and took in more of her scent.

"Okay Ralph but what are Plasma Transfusions exactly?" she said into the undeserving phone.

Soon enough she no longer relaxed into me but remained in my arms as she looked around the house.

"What is it you need?" I whispered into her ear.

Her tone sounded more relaxed than just a second before, "Pen or pencil." she whispered back.

I shifted her position by keeping one arm around her waist and pulled her back far enough to pull out the drawer under the desk. Then with my free hand I pulled out a red pen and closed the drawer back up. She hesitantly took the pen from my hand and then looked back up at me with a thankful expression before talking back into the phone.

"Whatever works," she pleaded, "What time did you say you wanted them to stop by?"

She took the phone from her shoulder and turned back toward the desk. With the pen I had just given her she wrote on a piece of paper  _"Plasma Transfusions"._

"Ralph the kids still have school tomorrow. Is there a possibility that you have time to meet with them after three so they aren't missing school?"

She nodded her head and also wrote " _5pm_ " onto the little slab of paper.

"Works perfectly…" she breathed, "Anything else you need?"

Jenny opened up the drawer and placed the pen back inside. She turned around to meet me again and rested her head under my chin. Her breathing was soothingly at a steady pace as I hugged her against me.

"Yea. He's right here…" her muscles tensed up for a moment, "Why?"

For a moment there was only silence.

"What?" she said as if she could not hear Ralph on the other line.

"Ralph I don't…" she began getting louder, but her sentence never finished.

"Jenny what's the matter?" I asked confused and suddenly her breathing stopped all together.

She brought the phone down from her ear gradually and looked up at me. She was hiding something. She handed me the phone looking back at the floor.

"Ralph wants to talk to you."

I wanted to ask her more except it was apparent that she was too exhausted to be questioned. Too exhausted for anything. Lately I've tried to take notice that she needs the time to relax and rejuvenate. Ralph was right about that, even though I'd never tell him to his face. In the dim lighting, shadows danced over her neck and forehead. Bags were evident under her eyes.

"Alright." I replied.

I received the phone from Jenny, placing it against my ear. She turned toward the wonderful aroma of food that I had brought home and sat at the kitchen table grabbing her meal. After it was out and open in front of her, she messaged the back of her neck.

"Uh, hello?" I said into the phone.

"Hey Giles." He said roughly, "look I understand how Jenny is and I know she is not going to easily admit if she needs my help." When I turned to look back at her, she froze. She had been watching me as if waiting for me to say something. Ralph continued, "…But I want to ask you just in case there is something I can do. I really do want to help you out. Is there anything I can help-out with?"

_He sounded as if "No" was not an option._

I could not take my eyes off of Jenny. The way she suddenly had started acting had frightened me.

"Well," I started, "We pretty much have it all wrapped up now. You did everything we needed, and tomorrow Buffy and I just need to get rid of the rest of the ichthyic demons so I doubt there really is anything you can…"

"What's your plan?" he interrupted.

Jenny took a deep breath and turned away looking back at the food in front of her. She stood up from her seat and walked toward the light switch to turn on the lights. I looked back at the scratch paper she wrote on and began to notice just how much easier it is to read in the lights.

"Well uh… we planned on discussing it with Buffy tomorrow but as of now we don't exactly have one yet however…"

"Then it's settled!" He interrupted… _again_ , "I don't start work until about ten tomorrow so I'll stop by the school around seven in the morning and then we have three hours to get rid of the demons. Buffy won't have to miss any classes either because I bet you and me  _ **Manly types**_  can take it from here. "

"If the problem is B-Buffy's education, I can certainly assure you that I myself can take care of the demons." I demanded.

"Now – now Giles, no need to try and show off your  _strength_. You can't take these by yourself or else you would have by now. You don't need to impress me with your power because I have seen it," he said smugly, "and you have enough strength to snap me into a twig… believe me. And Jenny of course already knows how powerful you are! She talked non-stop about your  _holiness_." I smiled and felt an odd spark of superiority racing through me by his comments. "So… meet you tomorrow!" He finally said and quickly hung up the phone.

The smooth talker was not and did not take "No" for an answer. It's not that I did not want his help, I just didn't need it. If anything, I think it would slow me down.

_But who knows, maybe he is right. I might need the back-up. And I'd also rather not have Buffy miss any more school because of it. Her education is important._

_Says the librarian._

I put the phone back on the receiver.

"Did you say Ralph wanted to talk or to flatter me, because now I honestly don't remember?" I said sarcastically.

She had not responded. The smell of the food on the table was intoxicating to my exceedingly empty stomach. All day I have worked up a good sized appetite.

When I turned back around to face Jenny, everything was wrong. The food in front of her bruised body was untouched. Jenny stared out into space not noticing my unrest. Now that the lights were on, I could see things too clearly. Shadows. Earlier I called them shadows but in the light, they are originally referred to as bruises. To me, they were monsters. The back of her neck and her forehead were covered in crimson monsters. If her hair was down, the monsters would have hidden under her hair, then I would have never known they were there. I was suddenly furious that something horrible had happened to her and she acted as if everything was normal. Did she even know that her head had been bashed? Why had she not told me? Food suddenly meant nothing.

"Jenny!" I practically shouted.

She broke out of her daze and looked at me alarmed. I rushed by her side on my knee as she sat in the kitchen chair, and I reached out to carefully touch her injured skin as if my touch could magically heal her. Touching her was the only way I could say  _"I'm sorry for not being there,"_ because my mouth didn't have the strength.

"What the BLOODY-HELL happened to you?!" I continued frustrated. I was mad at her for letting herself almost be taken out of my life again.

She had a confused expression painted on her face until the tips of her fingers traced the monsters, "Oh… I'm not sure exactly… it's hard to explain."

"Well you better damn well try Jenny!"

_How can she have not told me immediately?_

Anxious, I continued shouting, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

"Rupert," she said surprised by my outrage. "I'm okay."

"Jenny!" I demanded.

_What about any of this was Okay?_

She remained quiet, searching for the words. Just looking at her was making me sick. Sick that I was not there when it happened. Sick that I might have lost her again if I was not careful. I soon found that I was swallowing my tears.

_No woman… no person, has ever made me cry so much. And yet, it's only because I love her._

*Jenny*

I explained what I could. Not everything about what happened was easy to put into words. Hit in the back of the head with an invisible metal object, my head hit the horn with a lot of force, and no one was in the car when I turned around. Simple as that.

_Simple. Scary._

I tried to hide my fear because I have a feeling it would not help Rupert's crazed mood he is suddenly in. I told him about the update Ralph had given me about the gypsy's for two reasons: One, it was my only theory. Two, I was scared.

_I want to share the information with someone that makes me feel safe. Since Rupert is my best friend, he is the only one I could tell. I did not want him to worry for me, I just wanted him to tell me that everything was going to be okay. I just needed my best friend to keep me sane._

"I swear to you Jenny." He said still kneeling, "We'll… no… _I'll_  deal with those blasted vengeance demons or anything at all that will come. You'll be safe. I promise."

_He did not need to promise it to make me feel better. He just needed to say it and I was happy._

He stood up ignoring the food and headed straight to the books, "Maybe I can find a-a spell or a c-counter curse that can protect you for the night. We don't want any more Xander shaped bruises."

"W-what do you mean?" Ironic that he mentioned him when I had a dream that the same incident had happened to Xander.

He looked blankly at his books as he spoke, "Oh… nothing. The bruise… the one on your neck, it reminded me of the one Xander had gotten today. Both of you got through the day turning into raisins." He was not joking when he said this, he was livid. "Coach hit him pretty hard with a good sized wrench. The kid has got nine lives… surprisingly."

"Oh." I pondered about telling Rupert what I had just discovered, but fear over-ruled me.

_What if I had told Rupert and he threatened to talk to Xander about this. I can't face them again. Not now. Later… maybe. I need time. No matter how significant my dream suddenly seemed, I could not tell him. The kids need to stay away from my life for their own safety. I needed to worry about my own problems, on my own._

I noticed a serious gaze on his books and understood that something was up, "What's wrong?" I asked.

He looked up at me about to say something, but it looked like he had decided against it. He put his book down and chose a different set of words.

"I wish you would have told me what happened. I don't get why you would keep things like that from me." He looked at me hard, "Do you not trust me?"

"No, God No!" I replied without hesitation, "I just didn't get the chance, until now. Also, I kinda hit my head on the steering wheel, I could have just forgotten." My laugh was fake, so I stopped.

"Right." He said roughly looking away, "Sorry."

It was hard to tell if he really meant it and I suddenly felt horrible. He continued staring into space rather than looking threw his books. That seemed worse than earlier.

_What he is thinking is wrong. I love him, more than anything. I didn't mean to not tell him. My bruises just do not seem… important. My bruises should not be important. He was making a bigger deal out of it than it really was._

However, I too lost my appetite.

"Umm…" I broke the silence, "don't you maybe think that we should start calling the boys about the anti-dote before it gets too late?" My attempt to take our minds off the subject was working. Kind of. "We can look for a spell later. I'll be safe for now, with you." A tiny smile hid in his lips just enough for me to see it, "I mean, I would call them myself but I'm technically supposed to be dead and Xander… he is already suspicious."

"Right… good plan." He finally said putting the useless book back down.

"Did you bring their phone numbers?" I asked and he slid a piece of paper out of his pocket.

"Yea. Willow had printed them out for me."

Suddenly acting protective, Giles moved his way over to me and held me against him. Clothes were always in the way, but that was not the matter to be consulting with now. His hold on me was a way of him showing me that I was forgiven, but I had a feeling this dispute was far from over. That is what frightens me. He reached for the phone and began to dial the first number from the paper.

_Xander Harris._

"We should call him first. The way he was acting today, I doubt he will be able to survive the night not knowing if there is a cure for this thing or not."

*Xander*

"God damn-it! Son of a Bitch! He was SAFE! Anybody with half a brain, like my wife Jessica could have seen that! Get out of here! Disgrace to the game, that's what you are buddy! Get a real job!"

From down the block I could hear Anthony shouting. From the front porch I could hear Jessica drowning his shouting with her classical music. From the front door, I always hated that they were  _my parents_.

_Moments. Subtle moments where Jessica… excuse me… my mother. Subtle moments where my mom cared. Moments. Sometimes just moments weren't enough. Made me glad that I'd always had Willow._

I walked into the house unnoticed. I shivered.

_Of all the places I want to be right now, it is not home. I am going to turn into a fish demon, most likely, and I would like to go to Cordy's house and just cry in her lap. But that's not Manly. She'd probably resent me for it but at least she'd care if I changed. At least she would accept me. Unlike them. My Parents. If it was my last night, I'd rather be with people that cared. That's why I shiver. I am scared and uncomfortable in my own home._

I headed to my mom's room out of hope that just maybe we could have one of those "moments".

"Jess get me a beer!" Anthony shouted across the house, "Jessica?!"

"One second." She replied only half as loud.

She opened the door from her room wearing shorts and a tank top, fanning herself with the magazine. Her wavy long hair was down. Her sandals flopped as she walked into the kitchen. I fallowed. She took no notice that I wanted to talk to her.

"I'm going out!" she said handing me his beer and slamming the fridge behind her.

"Thank Jesus!" he announced obviously pleased with her leaving.

She slammed him in the back of his head with her magazine. She always did when he used the words "God" or "Jesus" in profanity. And he always did.

He did not react to it. Instead, he just got irritated, "Just get out of here will you?!" He remained lazily slumped on the couch as he snatched the beer from my hand. "Aren't you to young for this?" he demanded. He looked at it curiously and then back at me, "You want to try some? One day you'll want nothing but beer, trust me."

"Anthony!" My mom shouted back at him.

"Get!" he demanded pointing a finger at the door.

She finally opened the door to leave. I ignored my dad's comments and headed straight to her.

"Mommy." This must have been special; I never called her mommy.

She turned around, also shocked by this.

"Can I go with you?"

_I don't want to go, but I'd rather be out of the house then alone with my dad._

"Absolutely not!" She laughed, "I'm going out to do some…  _grown-up things_. If you grew up faster, then you too could go."

"Isn't just too bad you guys decided not to have me sooner…" I said smugly and more to myself.

I regretted asking. The way she dressed, and the way she said  _Grown-up things_ made me sick. My parents obviously cheated on each other and never seemed to care. Of course, they also drank an awful lot. Willow always told me to take that sick feeling my horrible parents gave me, and tell myself that I wouldn't end up anything like them.

_I think because I have such a great friend like Willow, I never will._

"Look," she said obviously beginning to have a guilty conscience.

_Which she could never live with._

"You can always invite Willow or Bunny over to hang out in the basement. Just don't bug your father." She was about to head out but turn to me one last time, "By the way, how is Willow?"

"Smart as ever." I said half-heartedly.

"Good." With a nod of her head she shut the door on her way out.

She rarely asked how I was. However, she always asked how Willow was.

_I think that she preferred to have a daughter._

As soon as she shut the door I ran to the basement. I felt safer and more at home here when I was alone. An ugly red torn couch was down here. Ancient books that I could never have the knowledge base to read and can't believe my parents ever did, and old toys I used to have as a baby. This is almost where I spent most of my time at home. I liked it. It was quiet.

"Alexander!" Anthony shouted as the phone started to ring.

Sadly I could still hear him shout from the basement. I ran to the phone beside our washer and dryer that we used in the basement. I was eager to answer the phone.

"Hello?" I waited but no response, "Hola? Anybody?"

The phone rang again in my ear and it took me another long moment of silence to realize that I had not pushed the "talk" button yet.

I tried again, "Hello?"

"Uh, hello Xander, it's me… Giles."

"Any news?" His voice was soothing and kept me freaking out.

"Yes actually, that's why I called. We have found the cure."

So much relief and excitement rushed through me in that one sentence that I could not have done anything but express my gratitude. After jumping the highest I ever have before and moving my arms in haphazard patterns, I shouted my appreciation through the phone, "Have I ever told you how much I love you Giles?"

"No… but let's not get into it. Your appointment for the treatment is at FIVE p.m. tomorrow with the rest of the swim team at the hospital."

"Giles! That's too long!" My hysteria started to return, "What if I mutate by then?"

"Xander…"

"What if Buffy is forced to kill me?"

"Xander."

"What if…"

"Xander!" Giles bellowed. When he was sure he had my attention, he continued, "First of all, don't think so little of Buffy. She would never kill one of her best friends if something like that happened. We would find a way to change you back. …or keep you as a pet," he said sarcastically, "But never kill you! And second of all you have been exposed the least out of all the swimmers. You're the last one who would need to worry."

Unlike Anthony, he cared. I did not need to fetch Giles a beer to ease his worries and yet, with just his words and voice, he eased mine. I was glad to know Giles. He was a better father-figure then my own; not that I needed one, or go far enough to say that he is a father to me, but at least, he is there for me. That's more than I can say for Anthony.

_Speak of the devil._

"Alexander Harris!" You take any longer talking to your girlfriend then you better start paying for the phone bill!"

The once calming words from Giles seemed to obliterate in my head immediately. I was panicking again. I could not talk to Giles all night on the phone to keep myself calm, Cordy is with the Cordettes…

_NO THANK YOU._

Willow was busy putting a class together, and I was to frightened to be around Buffy at the moment. Even if I knew that Giles's words were nothing but truth. It is obvious how much he praises Buffy.

_Watchers Pet._

"Giles, may I ask you a favor?" I asked without thinking the question all the way through. My question may soon be regrettable since I never asked such a big favor from Giles before, but given the circumstances, it would not hurt to try.

"Xander this is not the time for me to be answering such idiotic questions and accusations about my personal life…"

"No…" I interrupted, "It's not that. Do you think… that maybe…" the words seemed to struggle in the back of my throat, "May I spend the night?"

He hesitated, "Xander I don't think…"

"Please Giles!" I began to ramble, "I-I'll sleep on the couch and no special treatment needed. No interrogation or snooping included either. I won't talk if you don't want me to! No prying into your personal life I swear. I just don't want to be home right now, not alone. I'll drop the entire interrogation all together, I promise. Please, just one night."

Either Giles was breathing or whispering, it was hard to tell, but either way it had taken him a while to respond.

"G-give me a moment to think it over." He said softly, "let me call and deal with the rest of the swim team before it gets too late in the day and I'll call you later."

"Promise?" I asked worried he'd forget.

"Promise." I could hear the truth in his voice and imanaged a smile on his face when he said it.

"Okay, bye." I said as I relaxed in the couch.

After pressing the disconnect button, I held the phone in my hand just when Giles did call, I could answer right away and hopefully without Anthony noticing.

_Home is where the heart is right? My heart was definitely not in this dingy little hole I called home. No, although I would never tell anyone this, my heart is with my friends. Willow, Buffy, Cordy… Giles. My heart feels more at home in the library, which I may point out is directly above a HELLMOUTH, then my so called "house". My heart does not belong in this building, and I don't remember a time you ever did._

*Giles*

"Of course not! Jenny are you mad?"

"Rupert, I even heard Xander's father yelling at him through the phone and I wasn't even on the phone."

"No, but your ear was on the other side of it."

"Rupert! That's totally not the point. He needs to be somewhere that's better for him and especially if he is worried for his life. He needs some where to crash where he can stay calm and relax. He obviously can't do that at his own house" she leaned against the kitchen table gradually, and holding onto a cup of tea that I made her.

_I might be able to not touch my food, I do it constantly in this little town, but I won't have that become one of her habits. Although she tried really hard to not show it, I knew she had to be scared. Who wouldn't be? Tea was soothing, so I gave her tea. She is going to safe with me. That is a fact._

Yet she tries to run and I do not understand why, "Maybe I'll just sleep in the car, or rent a motel for the night."

"Jenny…"

"It's just one night." She persisted.

"I left you alone for just one moment and look what happened?!" I walked toward her and kissed her neck softly where it was bruised, "no…" I whispered, "You're going to stay. I need you to stay."

My nose traced up her neck until it met her own. Our lips met for a brief moment but she pulled away. My hands held onto her tiny hips as I tried to get a good look at her.

"Jennifer Calendar, what are you not telling me?" She looked away but I shook her hips hard enough so she looked back at me, "Why are you doing everything you can to stay away from me?" in all this I never broke out of a whisper, "Why don't you kiss me with the same passion we had before Lucy passed away?"

This time she saw my eyes and could not find the strength to leave my gaze.

"I just always feel guilty."

"For…?"

"Rupert, for everything!"

Her eyes watered and I held her in a hug. I can't watch her cry in the fear that I too would start.

"Jenny you didn't…"

"I appreciate it, but don't start." She interrupted. Her anger surprised me, making me reword everything I was about to say.

"Nothing you did was on purpose. You can't even call it an accident because you did nothing wrong, although you may feel otherwise. What will it take for you to believe that?"

Her body dangled in my grip as she looked down at her feet. She moved her free hand up to my shoulder and her other hand holding the tea wrapped around me.

"I just need to make up for it," she finally responded, "I need too. I need… I want to help them. I want to help all of you."

My hand raced through her hair and then I pressed my lips against her forehead. We stood like this for a while until I organized my thoughts together.

"Fine. Xander can come over since you have this  _need_  of helping him, but if you want to help me too, Jenny, you need to stay."

She didn't protest. Instead she brought the cup of tea to her lips and took a sip from the cup. After, she whispered.

"What will I do?"

"Go upstairs and stay there. I'll just tell him upstairs is off limits or something."

I moved my arms to point up the stairs when I said this, but accidently thumped my hand against her tea. It spilled down her white shirt and onto my hand. She held the empty cup and we both broke into a still laughter.

"I also think you should, uh, change your shirt. It was way too bright of a white to begin with."

She looked up with watered eyes and stuck her tongue up at me. I wanted my lips to hold on to it, but I figured it will find its way their soon enough. She pulled it back and behind her lips and her nose was once again rested on the side of mine. Our laughter dimmed.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, "I don't mean to make you think I don't love you because you are the one thing in this world that I have ever loved. I've never cared so much about a person before, like I do with you. I'm still getting used to it, and how to deal with everything and I'm sorry. I really am." A light laugh echoed throughout the body in my arms and a smile grew on her face, "Love is not exactly easy."

But before I could tell her,  _I know. But you don't need to deal with it alone. I'm here to help you with everything and anything you need._ She neared in for a well needed kiss.

*Xander*

The phone lit up just before it made a sound. My finger rushed up to push the button almost without me telling me to. I almost dropped the phone in the process. If the phone had accidentally made any light noise on the ringer upstairs, it could have easily been drained out by the vulgar television along with Anthony's rowdy yelling anyway.

As soon as I answered the phone, I was no longer slumped onto the couch but sitting up-straight and alert. An empty backpack waited by my feet… just in case.

Trying my best to not sound desperate, I hesitated before speaking into the phone.

_My worry was beyond trying to hide it._

"H-hello?"

"Okay, Xander…" Giles took a long deep breath, "Your allowed one night. One night only."

My back once again relaxed into the couch as both relief and excitement rushed through me.

_Yay! Sleepover at Giles house! …in a cool manly, I may possibly turn into a demon, sort of way._

My neck muscles suddenly tightened.

"B-but there are some rules." Giles continued.

"Leave it to the librarian to add rules to a life or death scenario." It took a moment for me to realize I said this out loud.

"Don't make me regret this." He said smugly. "I won't have you ranting all night about a demon you will never become."

"But Giles," I said sarcastically, "that's what all girls do at slumber parties!"

_I waited til he threw another argumentative comeback, but he did not give one. I wondered what was holding him back. He usually loves to yell at my sarcasm._

After we shared an awkward quiet moment, I continued, "At least that's what I've seen in movies."

He finally continued, "You're sleeping on the couch, and upstairs is off limits. I don't want to be bothered during the middle of the night."

"Yes sir!" I replied. "Although I don't think you need to worry about a  _MAN_  like me sneaking into  _your_  bed at night. …That's not how I roll." I paused clapping my hands together and nodding cheerfully with raising eyebrows, "I like the ladies."

I could hear him taking off his glasses.

"Bloody Hell." He murmured.

I talked over him realizing that I was already wearing out my welcome and was not even at his house yet.

"Besides, I'm taken." I continued. "… with Cordy."

I shut-up.

"Xander, do you umm… need a er, ride or-or something?" Giles almost sounded as if he was forced to ask.

I saved him of this burden, "No, actually I need to do a couple things first before I head over anyway. Besides I need the air of a nice  _moon walk_. Thanks for the offer though. I promise you won't regret it, any of it." I took a deep breath closing my eyes for the first time feeling the relief in my words, "Thank you."

"Anytime." I could almost see him smile. Then he quickly rushed in to fix his mistake and revoking his invite, "I mean, uh, no problem."

I laughed, "Be there soon."

My neck began to feel scaly as soon as I put the phone down and heard Anthony's cheering upstairs.

_I was in a hurry to leave._

**LTER**

Sneaking out was easier than trying to get my parents attention. Six years ago that would have bothered me but six years later I had grown immune to their carelessness. The night is warm. The moon glowed. The stars wished hard that they could blend in with the rest of the sky. It is not completely considered night; it was dark out but not late. My backpack had never felt like such a burden on my back. I hardly ever wore one, and never understood why someone really would. That's what lockers are for.

… _or I guess for the kids that actually do their school work._

I avoided allys and looked desperately at the world around me. It was full of people. People who will never know about what goes BUMP in the night.

_Sometimes I envy them. Sometimes. And this was one of those days._

The sight of the gates of Giles condo was warm and welcoming, and when you got closer, it's presence is safe.

_A part of my heart belongs here which made part of it home._

After finding a pathway around the gate, I jumped down some stairs and found myself interrupting a puppy's nap.

_Since when did Giles own a puppy?_

The small ball of fluff stood from Giles's welcome mat and walked to the side. It acted like a guard dog, which is funny for it's size, and it never took it's eyes off me. Nervously, I walked passed him and opened Giles front door.

*Giles*

I heard the front door open and the dog outside began a barking fest. I was frightened, almost dropping Jenny's new cup of tea. I headed outside to shush the pup while Xander walked in blindly without a care that he had started the uproar.

"Hi." He said with a nod as he walked passed me and sprawled his backpack onto the couch where Jenny had laid out new sheets just for him.

Frustrated with his pettiness, I also became angered by the fact that he had just walked right in here. It's not the first time, and it was a habit of all of the scoobs, however this time I was sure I had locked the door.

"Hello Xander!" I said loud enough so hopefully Jenny got the message from the second floor.

_Although, I had no doubt that the pup had done that for me already…_

I took a step outside and bent down on one knee.

"Hush-up you blasted pup." I whispered moving my hand swiftly over it's fur.

He hushed automatically and began licking my hand. Suddenly, I had brush of familiarity.

_This pup had been the one in front of the hospital, I was sure of it._

Confused about how it had gotten here, I pressed my finger against the pup's nose to prevent it from turning my hands into raisins.

"No." I whispered to it.

_If I really needed a shower, I had one up stairs._

Instead of licking my finger, it now jumped it's two front paws onto my knee. The dry tongue dangled loosely from it's mouth and the tail wagged playfully.

 _I'm sorry._ It seemed to be saying,  _Can you forgive me?_

I replied with a "Good-Boy" before heading back inside and ACTUALLY locking the door this time. As soon as the door was taken care of, Xander had begun with the harassment.

"Giles! You never told me you got a puppy!" he said excitedly, and almost as if he had not believed it himself. "Why did you get one?"

I essentially took the time to really ponder that question.  _Maybe Jenny had something to do with it._

"I forgot to ask." I said truthfully. He played it off as sarcasm.

"Since when have you taken care of animals?"

"Since I met you." I replied, "Now remember what I said…"

"I was a hyena once!" he interrupted, "and possibly a fish demon now… but never…"

I ignored his ruthless behavior and talked over him, "Upstairs is off-limits and…"

"I'll be as quiet as a _mouse_ …"

He thought he was being funny.

When he noticed my discontent he showed sorry and leaned back into the couch, "Okay, I'll just go straight to bed Giles. Not asking for any special attention." He took a deep breath, "I'd also appreciate if you didn't tell Buffy or Willow about this… t-they have enough to worry about."

I nodded my head in agreement, "Understood."

The sound of my stomach was almost inhuman, but I paid no attention to it.

"Would you like me to heat you up some Mexican food? If you're hungry that is…" I said referring to the untouched meals.

"Nah, I didn't come here for food." He said softly.

"Well," I balanced Jenny's tea in my hand and made my way to the stairs. "it's always in the fridge if you change your mind."

"Giles…" he said sympathetically. I looked down at an unfamiliar face. The face of maturity, "Thank you."

All I could give him was a warm smile, and he turned back to the couch making himself comfortable.

"Shoes." I reminded as I headed up the stairs. I heard the loud "thunk" as he slipped them off his feet.

For the first time, the stairs had not creaked or made any whimpering sounds as I walked up them. I was focused on the movement of the cup, keeping it balanced. I resisted drinking some for myself, because with Xander around tonight, soothing was not a good adjective; soothing was part of the tea, that's why we Englishmen find it so enjoyable. As I took every step, the liquid in the cup had made a ripple of little circles starting from the middle. Everything was totally in balance. Nothing swayed around the upper part of the cup threatening to drip. It remained to make the ripple of circles.

Upon stepping into my room, I looked away from the cup for one second, and the tea shook violently. I no longer focused on the tea. It remained unbalanced in my shaking hands allowing a drop to slash down on my fingers.

_If I had not been so focused on keeping the tea balanced, I would have just dropped it._

However, my thoughts left the tea a while ago. Now they remained fixed on the topless creature that exposed it's self to me. Her pajama bottoms hugged her hips, and she stood half naked looking threw the closet for another top to replace the one I had stained. Since her back was toward me, her breasts remained hidden from my sight but her bare back had been enough to take my breath away. The gypsy managed to snatch a heartbeat… or fifty; …that thief.

As she rummaged through the hangers, her shoulder blades folded over her skin in a seamless motion. Fighting the urge to look away, I had selfishly given into the sight. Devilishly not willing to look away. A cripple. Physically incapable to. Mentally not wanting to. In this moment I was a selfish pig. I wanted to touch her. To hold her against me. She taunted me on a daily basis, but this… this was beyond any tease she has to me before _._

_What was it…? April fool's day?_

This was close, and in my reach. The electric currents between us signaled to me that she wanted it, but for some unknown reason, lately she has been needing to pull away.

_Exactly how close was Jenny and Lucy?_

Jenny was small… and by small, I meant tiny… but she was no skeleton either. I imagined wrapping my arms around her waist and protecting the spine that had pressed firmly against her back. She had been broken once. But never again. I would not allow it. Never again. She was just so small. The most precious thing I had ever seen. I began to identify the angel wings that spread across the room, starting from her back. My mouth watered to kiss her. Kiss her everywhere. My arms empty not already holding her.

In my dream I was touching her, moving my rough hands over her supple skin and wondering if just maybe, if I still give her goose bumps. In my dream, she was already touching me. I hid a moan with just the thought of it. I had never in my life, loved a woman so madly.

For now, all of it was just a dream; a dream where Jenny finally understood that none of this drama could have been her fault, and she forgives herself. Everyone else has already forgiven her, yet, she does not see it like I do. But how could she? I mean, she was dead when they noticed it could not have been her fault, and even now she chooses to avoid them. Drama, that's all it was.

_Simply just drama._

Right now, I didn't care. Right now, it was simply about her. When a shirt finally made its way over her head, I remembered how my dream was to remain a dream for a while.

_Damn stupid dilemmas._

As she closed up the closet, swiftly moving the doors shut, I took notice of how the pajama top she had decided to wear, was one of mine.

_In a way, I was already on top of her, but I had to return to earth; only a dream. I felt my face flush to a bright ruddy color before she turned around to face me. An undeserving despicable me._

She caught my gaze and did something unexpected. She smiles. Confused and still shaking, I focused my attention back to the tea. I had been discerned. My face was bright red and getting hotter. I was mortified unsure of what to do. I focused on having the tea make little ripples again, but that was not happening.

_What was I thinking? Not looking away? How stupid could I be?_

I couldn't meet her gaze. That in it's self is an apocalypse. The tea was not even beginning to stop it's trembling.

When she touched me, I had been frightened. I had not noticed she walked up to me. She reached out for the tea, sliding it out of my hands.

_Had she even noticed my evil deed?_

With pleasure, she took a single sip and rested her shoulders back. Such nice shoulders. Her neck leaned to one side and her eyes closed as she savored her tea. Her one sip. Slowly opening her eyes, the tea made it's way to the bed without taking Jenny too far from me. The tea was finally at peace and unshaken on the bed.

Jenny reached back toward my face giving me the wicked grin I had grown accustomed to. She uses it constantly when she taunts me, but whether she is aware of it, I am unsure. An eyebrow lifted, and that had said everything.

_I had been caught._

I was about to speak, about to say I was sorry, but when I opened my mouth her eyes filled with worry and she quickly brought a finger to my lips. She was shushing me, and slightly confused she pointed toward the stairs reminding me of Xander's presence.

_Funny, somehow I had already forgotten about him._

I remained staring at the stairs, uncertain about how to say sorry now. Meeting her gaze, I would have to say it, but I didn't know how without speaking it aloud. Her fingers slid down the side of my face once again and she forced me to look at her. In her features, she said it all. She was talented that way.

*Jenny*

He calmed himself from the erratic mess he was before.

_The shyness of my Sexy Fuddy Duddy had only made things harder, because I want to touch him. I want to more than anything; to please his wildest fantasies, but I couldn't. No, not yet. Ralph was right, I need to tell him what happened because I was the kind of person that could not keep something like that from Rupert. And I won't, but I just can't tell him now. Later, when Xander is not around and I am allowed to be yelled at. Telling him while Xander is here would only be cheating. I needed to be yelled at, I felt dirty._

The intensity in his green eyes was a dead giveaway about how badly we wanted it.

_How badly we needed it._

At the moment Rupert was trying to understand why I had not yelled at him already for watching me dress, but I think he figured it out. I did not care if he had seen something.

 _I always knew he would sooner or later_ , I thought wickedly to myself.

However I just wished I could stop teasing him when I am unwilling to have sex because of my guilty conscience. But most of my teasing was unintentional.

_Like this for example._

As his eyes searched me for why not now, I did not want him to think it was because I didn't love him. That had nothing to do with it. I love him, and I could not have him doubt it. In a perfect silence, the hands already holding the sides of his face pulled him toward me. We dove in for a kiss. A passionate one. His hands pursuit to my hips delayed in the layers of his big shirt that covered me. Once he had a hold of my hips, he held me firmly so I wouldn't move away.

_Although I had no intention to._

Electricity was being created and there was no doubt about it. As he pushed me against him my arms excited themselves with goose-bumps. His tongue held the top of my mouth captive and my bottom lip craved for it's taste. Arms finding a way around his shoulders. Suddenly, I could no longer hold myself against him. I was forced to push away. Looking down, I noticed he had an erection.

Already purple, Rupert turned away chocking on every word, but saying them quickly.

"Z-z-z- X-x-ander! I-I am going to take a shower! P-p-please d-d-don't c-come up stairs."

I bit my bottom lip. This had frightened me.

"You gave me these rules already!," Xander yelled from the couch down stairs, "Besides, I was asleep already… almost."

"O-okay." He rushed to the bathroom still talking to Xander but not loud enough for him to hear, "M-my b- bad."

The door slammed behind him and he had not looked back to me once.

I did not know what to do, and because it happened it made me feel even guiltier. I was scared but not completely sure why, my thoughts had become completely muddied. I was not ready for this and I have never been so scared before. After swallowing the rest of my cup of tea in one nervous gulp, my thoughts decided to clear. I began to realize my fear is what I was trying to tell Rupert earlier. I was in love with him and never know what to do. Ever. I only know that we cannot have sex now because of me. I was being selfish. I know he wants to be in me as badly as I desire him to be, except I can't because I was afraid of what I had not told him.

_What Ralph had done. Because of him everything is horrible, in ruins._

I suddenly remembered how purple Rupert was before he stormed off and I looked around thinking of anything I could possibly do to calm him. To assure him everything is alright.

He should not be embarrassed, it was natural… just unexpected.

A note pad and pen that lay on his nightstand had caught my eye

*Giles*

"Bloody Git!" I whispered wanting to hit something. I turned on the shower water and my lungs began screaming for air. I had forgotten how to breathe. I stripped myself quickly of my clothes and kicked the tub in front of me. I was full of rage. I have never been so embarrassed. My shaft was hard and tender, but not only that, it had betrayed me. I have never seen Jenny looked so frightened before. Her eyes full of fear expressed exactly what I had felt in that one moment. I could not take it. I raced my hands through my hair wanting to pull my hair out until something had bumped my foot from under the door.

I looked down to see a paper that had been slid under the crack between the door with writing scribbled on it. I bent down to pick it up.

Two stick figures were holding hands. One in a dress and the other wearing a tie. Their smiles were bigger than their faces could traditionally hold, and their eyes were bright with joy. Above them was written, "I Love You" and under them she had written, "Always…" with a heart as the concluding statement. In all the rage, I found a peaceful residence in my heart. For some reason I could not understand why, but I no longer cared. I was not embarrassed. I was in love.

_Although… I already knew that._

*Jenny*

With my ear leaned against the door, I swore I heard him whisper against the wood, "I Love you too."

I smiled bigger than the stick figures and got myself snuggled into bed. I quickly dazed into sleep unable to wait for Rupert to finish his shower.


	19. Wet & Dead

*Xander*

My eyes were closed but I couldn't sleep. I was too frightened. My mind was harvesting nightmares while I was awake and thinking about what in the world a plasma transfusion was, or even if I'd survive until then. Giles told me over the phone that I would be fine, and I held on to his warm words along with his every syllable. He was not worried. That satisfied me. In his house, and on his couch, I had no reason to worry. I listened to the running water as Giles took a shower. To the droplets of betrayal, I fell asleep.

^Dream^

I was on my knees and felt as if the world had sent a little rain cloud to rain only on me. My clothes were damp, and when I looked to my right, Buffy was soaking. My muscles were sore. My lungs took in as much air as they could, slowly adding little by little. It took me a second to gather my surroundings to comprehend where I was and what just happened. I pulled Buffy out of the underground sewer with my slightly altered steroided strength. When I remembered what came next, it was too late and I couldn't avoid the pain.

Bang!

The back of my neck felt the blow twice as hard as it had normally and I cried out in pain. I watched the girl in the car again as she too came to a screeching halt because of a similar blow to the back of her neck. I shared her pain. Before I knew what happened, I was sitting next to her in the car. The car horn alarm went crazy as she rested her head against the wheel to regain her strength. I felt the impulse to hold her hand but there was nothing to hold onto. My hand went right through hers. I stared at her confused. She had no idea that I was sitting right beside her. Her eyes were closed and hair covered her face. Somehow, the shape of her hands seemed familiar. I traced her from head to toe and couldn't shake the weird of feeling. I knew the girl in my dream, but she didn't show her face. Her eyes were closed.

Slowly, the girl moved. She left her eyes closed and nuzzled the hair out of her face. Her eyes were the last bit of the clue to place her, but she wouldn't open them. My fists clenched until the knuckles turned white. Why couldn't I remember?

Her eyelids fluttered lightly and all the intensity lifted from me like a balloon. I waited. The entire world went dark. Now I couldn't see anything.

"Damn it!" I shouted. In a moment of anger, my arm flew out punching the air in front of me. It was not air in front of me. My hand felt warm. I think it was bleeding. I softly moved my hands out in front of me to feel what I hit and felt wood all around me. When I kicked, I realized I was lying in a box. A coffin maybe.

"I'm not dead! I-I didn't die yet!" I started panicking hitting everything around me attempting to make a dent in the wood. Attempting to make a dent in my hope. "Hey! You buried the wrong man! I-I-I haven't gotten to graduate high school yet! I-I need to take care of Willow! Who else is going to protect her from all the jerks that want to pick on her? There is so much more to do… come on now! Somebody Help! HELP! HELP!"

Finally. I sign of hope. Dirt fell all over my face and I bathed in it. The ground shook and I pulled my way out of the gravel. I ignored the gravel that traveled to uncomfortable places and focused on my friends. They needed me. I needed them.

I pulled myself out and rested on the cool… concrete? I turned to face the newly sturdy floor and found that I was resting on the high school stare case. I looked up. At the top of the stairs I saw Giles. He dropped everything. I had never seen him so scared. I knew it, I must have changed into the demon. He was scared of me and wanted to run away. I knew it. I knew this would happen.

I looked at my hands, but they were human. Confused, I looked back up at Giles and he ran toward me.

"Giles Help me… I don't know what's going on! Just a minute ago I was in my grave and now…" He vanished. Giles vanished like dust. I stood onto my feet, "…now I'm alone."

I looked to my left and a pair of hands reached for my face. I couldn't see who was holding my face but I was in a room of pure white now. I blinked a billion times to adjust to the brightness change. I saw nothing in front of me but I barely heard light whispers.

"Don't do the spell! What if he wakes up? He'll see you." Said a rough whisper.

"Don't worry." Light. Safe. Feminine. "This will not take long."

"I still think you should stay home. I do not see the need to bring you to school."

"Fairytale books won't cut it Rupert…"

_One voice was Giles. The other must be Buffy, she was demanding._

"…I need better books. Hence, the school library. Your perfect little knowledge nest."

"But…"

"Shh…"

Whispers flooded my head. I heard more than one but they all hummed a similar tune. Lights flashed from every angle and slowly a figure began to form in front of me. Soon I began to see who was reaching out for my face. The figure of a male… I think.

_Not that I would know. I don't check out men. I mean… this could obviously be a very masculine woman too._

I saw a vampire face. I could make out the wrinkles but not the face itself.

"Who are you?" I asked.

No response. Well, unless you count breaking my neck as a response.

~end dream~

"Ah!" I sat straight up holding the bracing pain.

Sun shimmered through the blinds and my eyes adjusted to the light. My mind slowly adjusted to the surroundings.

"Are you hungry?"

"AH!" I turned around and jumped off the couch. I saw Giles. "Huh..? What?"

_Right. I spent the night at Giles house. Right. It's okay. It was just a dream… It was just a…_

"Bad dream?" Giles asked coming out from around the kitchen counter.

"Ya-huh." I replied nodding my head and sitting down in the snug British-man's couch.

_Was it just me or did he seem to be feeling buoyant today compared to yesterday? Wait... food... did he say something about food?_

"What food?" I asked looking back at him.

He smirked and brought a warm plate of bacon and eggs to my lap. My stomach growled to the greasy scent. I was happy.

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

I meshed my fork into the eggs and stuffed the scrambled mess into my mouth. I looked back at Giles as he ingested a big breath of air to answer my question. He clamped a watch to his wrist and I noticed that he was completely dressed and ready to go.

"Pretty good considering what happened."

"What happened?"

He was silent for a moment. Out of curiosity I looked up from my eggs and saw him staring in to the abyss. "Considering your absurd snoring."

"Make fun of me now… but there was the days when I peed in my bed too. Be glad that I have been potty trained."

"Ah, the advancements of human-kind." He looked at me sarcastically. "I'm pleased that you have now learned to aim for the urinal."

"Perfect aim every time old man. Speaking of… may I?"

He hesitated. "Yea… it's up stairs."

"K! Thanks." I left my empty plate on the table in front of me and headed up stairs. On my way up, I watched Giles take my plate back to the kitchen. He was… odd today. Not in a bad way, but he was not entirely annoyed by my presence. That's unusual. Maybe Giles was turning back into Giles. Maybe he was finally getting better.

I headed into the bathroom and first fixed my hair in the mirror. It was a mess. I brushed it out with my fingers until it was smoothed out perfectly. I stared at the man in the mirror deep into his eyes. A simple blinking contest with myself. When I looked into my eyes, I remembered her eyes. The eyes I never got to see open. With a reminder of my dream, I searched my throat of my injury. It must have hurt so bad that it encountered my dream. However, it didn't bother me now. I searched but I couldn't find it. The aching enormous bruise from yesterday was gone. I pulled my shirt up and over my head to see if it moved or something but it hadn't. The bruise was gone. My neck was completely unharmed.

After my visit to the little boy's room, I tried to show Giles but when I pointed out that it was completely gone all he could reply was, "All be damned…" with an odd twinkle in his eye. He couldn't believe it either.

_That was no help. Isn't Giles supposed to know everything? Why did it disappear so quickly? Did I truly heal as fast as a slayer with the steroids? Creepy._

*Jenny*

Nobody was at the school yet. At five in the morning, campus grounds were completely bare and abandoned. I guess that's easy to understand. With a high school that's placed directly over the hell mouth, some spooky vibes must get to the students and faculty. No one is ever really in a hurry to come back to school… no matter how genius a student is, or how popular.

I faced the mirror examining every inch of my exhausted face. I fixed my make-up, and adjusted my hair. I smiled remembering the last time I fixed myself up in the mirror. It was before I died. It was for him. Even if Rupert was not around and mad at me, everything I did was still for him. He controlled my every thought, and influenced my every action.

I became aware of how pale my skin really was. I lost a lot of color while I was dead. It will come back eventually, but interesting that I barely recognize these subtle differences now. My eyes traced down my neck until I reached the bruise. Picking at it with my fingers I noticed that it was finally gone. The pain along with the purpleness had finally vanished completely. The spell was not supposed to work for me; only for Xander. Unless the spell went wrong, I hoped that it at least worked for the both of us. However, I was not surprised when I noticed my injury vanished; not surprised in the least. Xander and I had some weird kind of connection going for us, but how or why, I may never really know.

_Was he using magic to figure Giles secret? Maybe his spell was going wrong. Or could it somehow be Damian doing something weird? Nah, Damian and Ralph are just too random in this incident. But like I said, I may never really know._

When I noticed grease stains on the end of my white sleeves from cooking this morning, I quickly became irritated and rolled up my sleeves just enough so the stain was no longer visible. Giles was shocked when I found eggs and bacon that were still good in his fridge but he insisted on finishing his meal from last night. Reluctantly I did the same after fixing a plate of eggs and bacon for the kid that shared my pain.

I headed back toward the library listening to the sounds of my shoes as I walked. I needed to find a safe way to get rid of the demons. I needed to protect them because they really are kids and with this new brand of demons, who knows if they might turn back into themselves? I wanted to save Buffy the burden of handling them. I needed to. The library doors creaked as I swung them open and began my search. Every book I found, I brought back to Giles office just in case I wasn't alone. Just in case an early student came in and saw me. I avoided standing in the open for long periods of time.

*Giles*

"All be damned…" Jenny's spell really did the trick. On the car ride to school, I couldn't help myself from taking glances back at Xander's neck. It was remarkable. The bruise was entirely obliterated.

If he noticed my constant fleeting looks at him, he didn't show it. He continued asking me questions about the plasma transfusions and I soothed his fears telling him the most that I knew. I was surprised he was not asking why we were going into school so early. It was about six forty-five and he was silent about it. I figured that he just didn't want to complain since I let him spend the night. It was his way of saying thank you and I respected him greatly for it.

I saw Ralph's car already in the staff parking lot and nobody else was here. His car was empty, and he was already inside. I looked over at Xander wandering what to do with him for the time being. He had his backpack already on his back which appeared to be completely empty, and worry in his smile.

He looked up at me, "Giles… do you think you can drive me to the hospital for the Plasma Transfusion and just maybe wait for me there and give me a ride home? To m-my home…"

I took a deep breath. The kid was being polite but all I could think about was Jenny. "Sure okay." I replied quickly just wanting to get inside the building, "Listen, why don't you go to your locker and get your books and I'll wait for you in the library?"

He nodded his head getting out of the car, "Thanks G-man."

"Don't ever call me that." I replied but he slammed the car door before I finished my sentence. He could care less and I frankly couldn't blame him.

I watched him walk into the school from the front while I made my way to the library's side door. The air smelt like cigarette smoke and the sun lightly skimmed the horizon. I pulled out my keys and unlocked the side door. With a turn of the knob and a push of the door, a warm breeze from inside the library warmed me up and blew away the irritating smell of cigarettes. I saw Ralph leaning on the table, but I ignored his presence for a moment and headed straight for my office. I knew it, she was there. She looked back at me from her chair with wide eyes that quickly softened down.

_God she was beautiful._

"Hey Jenny." I whispered and she greeted me with a warm smile that I held dear.

I couldn't move, frozen in the door way just taking in her presence. "Did you find anything?"

"No… not exactly…"

"She's lying." Said a voice from behind me. I was already in a state of oblivion about Ralph's annoying company. He spoke over my shoulder, "She actually explained to me a rather good plan."

"I told you Ralph… it's too risky." She stood from her chair and walked over toward me, "I can find something safer."

"Well, I think it's brilliant. I came here for some action anyway, not for some boring safe magic mo-jo."

"I told you more than once Ralph…" she eyed him menacingly, "I don't need your help anymore."

Her arms slipped themselves around my waist and my lower half felt warm. I nuzzled my nose in her hair, "Well, what was your plan?"

_I was honestly on Ralph's side with this one. I prefer Ralph to deal with the big bads… not Jenny. But of course she knew that. That's why she wanted the spell instead. She wanted to handle the demons. She wanted something she knew I would let her do. Something safe._

Her face rested against my chest and she looked up toward me. She wasn't going to say anything. She already knew I would agree to it too. I looked at Ralph hoping for a response from him but he just stared at my Jenny with tired watery eyes. He looked hurt.

 _Good._ I hugged her back. _She was mine._

He finally looked up at me, "She wanted to chase the demons out of the sewers, lead them back into the Ocean. I told her that these demon's steroids were mixed with Catfish DNA and she researched a way to guarantee they will follow us back to the ocean. Only… she changed her mind."

"Jenny that's actually a great idea…" I knew she didn't want to hear it.

She interrupted, "I'm working on a way to do the same thing but the demons will follow the spell rather than actual people."

"Oh…" I thought about it.

_Ralph as fish bait, which possibly leads to a pleasant death… or Jenny gets her wish and does it on her own. Hmm… that's a real toss up… but because of my humanity…_

"Let's get it done Jenny's way. She is persistent about helping and with everything she has been through this week… I'll give her the benefit of the doubt." I shrugged, "Besides… both plans are just as good. Good work Jenny."

She half smiled. Then she turned fearful. "Xander!" she whispered.

"What?"

She pulled away and hid inside my office without closing the door before she could reply. I remembered what she said, "Xander?" I turned around and he was walking his way toward the library counter top and placed his stuff on the counter with a loud thunk. Ralph stood beside me firmly and a little hesitant about whether he too should hide. I held his shoulder firmly. It was too late. Ralph was caught. Xander will meet him later today anyway.

"Hey Giles have you ever been to the school when nobody else is here? …It's rather spooky." He looked up at me from his backpack and noticed the attendance of an unfamiliar face.

"I've spent nights here researching remember?" I continued pushing Ralph forward toward the counter with me, "Nights and mornings of research."

"Oh… uh… hello." Xander said whipping his hand on his shirt and then out toward Ralph acknowledging his presence.

Ralph looked at his hand disgustedly before shaking it, "Uh… hello."

"Xander this is Ralph… the doctor that found your cure. And Ralph… this is Xander."

Xander and Ralph's eyes twinkled with joy.

"Ahhh… you're the meddling kid I talked to on the phone!" Ralph said more pleased now to be shaking his hand, "Thanks for your help about the Tsurt demon!"

"And thanks for saving my life!" Xander replied, "So Plasma Transfusions… do they hurt?"

"Well were going to need to search your records for your blood type, get a nurse to put an IV in your arm and have her monitor your temperature, blood pressure, and pulse several times as your transfusion is taking place to check for any possible signs of side effects. The IV will inject the plasma containing cryoprecipitate and a serum I concocted to obliterate the Catfish poising your blood tissue. This will increase the amount of plasma in your body and increase the amount of blood clotting factors to circulate and refurnish your human blood. You're awake for the entire procedure which is about 30 to 45 minutes long and you are not confided to a bed or chair. Afterwards, you can continue your day normally right after." Ralph smiled pleased with his knowledge.

Giles smiled. Xander looked as lost as Giles could imagine Xander looked in his biology class.

"Yea, okay…" Xander continued confused, "…but does it hurt?"

"No, if everything goes perfectly you should be fine."

Xander nodded.

*Xander*

"If" the doctor said "if"! How often do events "go perfectly" in Sunnydale? I tried not to think of the worst and got sick to my stomach in the process.

"I need to use the restroom." I insisted, and walked hazily out of the library.

"I promise you'll be fine." Giles called out.

I nodded even if he couldn't see me now. The world under my feet felt unreal but the people and the demons did. Giles said I was going to be all right, so maybe I was going to be all right. He promised, so I did my best to believe.

I saw Snider walk past me toward the library with a man in a bright yellow rubber suit. I continued to the bathroom. I needed to pee.

*Jenny*

I could hear the cars outside slowly beginning to arrive. I had to hold in my laughter from Ralph's response to Xander's question. Poor kid, he was scared and Ralph was not helping. When I heard Xander leave, I popped out from behind the office and saw Ralph with his hands up confused.

"What did I say?"

"Too much." Rupert replied, "The kid has the attention span of a squirrel, and a brain the size of a squirrel's nuts. Too many advanced prolonged explanations give him the creeps."

I laughed. They both looked back at me slowly tagging along the laughter train.

"Sorry about that Jenny, I forgot I told him I'd meet him here."

"It's fine. You should probably check on him though."

He looked down with a smile and nodded his head. "Yes. I imagine that's what he needs right now."

"In the mean time Jenny and I will get working on that spell."

"Right." He began walking his way around the counter. His kissed my forehead timidly on his way out and my world went spinning for a brief second. "It may take me a while though because I'm going to be on the hunt for the animal control also to see if I can't distract them or figure out what they know."

"Good plan Sam." Ralph replied as Rupert headed out the door, "we'll be here."

Ralph and I were alone again. He looked at me questioningly. "I still say we do the first plan."

"No."

"Think about it Jenny. Rupert won't stop you now that he's gone. He'll never know. Leave him a message that you're at the magic shop and he'll never know that you and I chased them out ourselves."

I hesitated. Ralph did have a point, besides, trying to look for the right spell might take too long. We didn't have a lot of time left.

He noticed my hesitation and pleaded, "I won't let you get hurt. I'm already here and I'm not going to run around and help you with this magic nonsense so if you just followed my lead I can get this done a lot faster."

He was asking me to lie to Rupert. I backed away. "No."  _Not again. Never again._

"But Jenny…"

"No!" I slammed the office door and went straight back to my research. I needed to find a spell and I needed to find one now.

"Fine." He said through the door, "You can do whatever your heart desires but I came here to help you get rid of the demon and that's what I'm going to do before it hurts anyone else. You can't stop me either."

I heard running and I stood up from my chair and looked out the window to see him running out the side door. "God! He's so stupid!" Now I had even less time, but I wasn't going to lie to Rupert. I was going to find a spell. I had no intention of chasing after Ralph, as he had for chasing me.

*Giles*

"I'm glad you're here Mr. Giles!" said a strict voice directly outside the library as soon as Giles left the library, Snider along with a guy from animal control came to the library in search of him. The animal control guy wore a bright yellow rubber suit and I remembered they were here just last week because of the snakes. I wondered what they thought of our school. "Show us where the creatures are please." He said firmly.

"What makes you think I have any clue where they are?"

"Don't act dumb with me librarian!" He said looking intimidating even with his lack of growth, "I know you and Buffy stick your nose into things that are not your business. I already have a missing coach and a missing nurse… I do not need any more trouble. Do you understand me?"

_Dead, not missing._

"Yes. I understand." I nodded, "But I still don't know where the demons are…"

"When Buffy got scratched, where was she?" He asked.

"The nurses office."

"WHERE DID IT HAPPEN?" he shouted.

"AHH! In the bathroom!" A voice shouted from down the hall. I looked and saw Xander. "There's something in the bathroom!"

"This way! Hurry!" Snider said and the man in the yellow suit ran ahead of him into the boys restroom. "Where did it go son?" The man asked Xander.

"I-I don't know… in there!"

Snider followed the yellow suit into the restroom and Xander gave me a thumb's up.

 _Why that little punk…_ I thought pleased. I hoped he wouldn't get into too much trouble and I ran my way over to the pool area.  _Once Snider is forced to think on his own, the pool would be the first place he'd look._  A couple students were already arriving and none of them acknowledged the running librarian, which made it harder for me to run around them. I took two left turns down the hallways and a final left turn into the boy's locker room. I looked around and the entire room smelt of sweat and the air was thick. I looked around and lockers were torn open and bashed in. This must have been where Buffy got scratched. One locker had paint scratched off it obviously by the fingernails of the demon.

_One look in here and Snider is bound to discover the demon._

I grabbed a broken locker door set off its hinges that rested on the ground and did what I could to barricade the doors into the locker room. I slid over a bench and was able to move a couple of loose lockers in front of both doors but that was the best I could do for now. Suddenly a horrible stench filled the air. I followed it toward the steam room. I didn't enter the room, but instead walked over to the door that led down stairs into the boiler room. The door had been forced open. Buffy told me she and Xander had locked it up but somebody must have forced it back open because the door knob showed signs of a struggle. I carefully opened the door and stepped inside. The stench was somehow thicker here and made the insides of my stomach curl. With every step I took down the metal stairs the more I felt the need to vomit. Once I made it to the bottom step, I looked around and saw the infamous hole that leads straight to the monsters hideout. Someone had also opened this back up, because Xander made sure that this gated door into the sewers would not be reopened. I bent down on my knees, and carefully looked down into the hole. No signs of life, no movement. However the two different sets of floating skin made me emetic to a point that I could no longer hold it back. The decayed skin had been stripped off the nurse and the coach. Blood tinted the edges of the skin and I could hear the flies that swarmed around the epidermises. Entirely ripped apart, and eaten alive were people that I knew. Their memories swindled in my head along with the appalling stench. Before I knew it, my weak body unloaded a mouthful of vomit into the hole. I rolled onto my back, sweating and heated. I closed the whole back up and the stench had gone away completely. I rested my eyes, and my muscles relaxed into the concrete.

_Soon this would be over. Soon, this would all go away._

I slowly stood up clenching my stomach in one hand and held out my other for balance, I stumbled my way back up the steps and out of the door. I pushed the door shut. I took as many breaths as I could to continue to regain my strength and took my time. The demons were not here… Jenny and Ralph must have the spell working by now anyway. I walked over to the door I barricaded that led to the hallway and slowly took it apart. Luckily when I freed myself from the boys locker room, no kids were in this hallway to see me this sick, pale, and sweaty. I walked myself over to the water fountain and covered my face and with water. Then I rinsed my mouth several times. I felt better. Not completely better… just better. I took off my jacket and dried my face. I headed back to the library. One step in front of the other, I made my way back to my girl.

*Jenny and Ralph (no particular point of view)*

"Ralph… Hurry!" Jenny shouted looking back behind her down the sewer and saw Ralph about ten feet behind her. The demons were chasing them about five feet behind Ralph.

"That's easy for you to say!" He said out of breath, "You're just a freaking astral projection of yourself."

"That's because I did the smart thing and found a spell." She grabbed his hand and pulled him faster through the dimly lighted tunnel. "You did the stupid thing and went running into the sewer to get yourself killed."

"I also… did… some," he kept pausing to catch his breath, "pretty good… breaking in."

"I don't care! Hurry up…!" She pushed him forward running faster than she normally would if she had the burden of her normal body, "I don't know how much longer I can keep the spell going! We got to hurry!"

"A light up ahead…" he breathed! "Were almost there…"

"Go! Go!" Jenny pulled her feet through the water as if she was running on normal concrete and she had to pull Ralph along because he did not have that advantage.

Ralph looked ahead suddenly inspired by the growing light from the end of the tunnel, and Jenny looked back inspired by the three demons on their tale running about as fast as she could. The demons spat and clawed at them, but were just far enough not to touch them.

"Listen to me…" Jenny breathed. She was getting weak and fast, "At the end of the tunnel, go left."

Ralph nodded. They saw the sand now and the bright white light from the sun. The light was almost blinding but Jenny put her faith into her God that everything was going to be okay. They were going to survive. They had too. Jenny carefully ran behind Ralph and pushed him out of the tunnel first and he made a hard left. When he saw that left headed straight up toward the city, he looked back and saw Jenny running the opposite way with the demons on her ass and the back of her right leg was bleeding but it did not slow her down. She tricked him. She needed him gone so he couldn't slow her down.

"Bitch!" Ralph breathed. He carried his legs as fast as he could after Jenny.

Jenny headed straight toward the ocean and her right leg had been scratched. Of course she needed it to be. It's why the demons followed her rather than Ralph. It did not slow her down because she didn't feel it yet. She'll feel it when she returns to her normal body that was probably sleeping on Rupert's desk in his office. She ran much faster than the demons and headed straight toward the big blue ocean without slowing down when she was ankle deep into the water. She ran herself into a wave and disappeared out of Ralph's sight. He stopped in his tracks with lungs that hurt like hell as he breathed in deeply. His heart was beating faster than a fire-truck alarm. He heard nothing but the sound of himself catching his breath. He ran his hand through his hair as he wondered what the hell Jenny was doing.

A voice came from behind him, "You piece of shit!" Jenny pushed him from behind and he was too weak to keep his balance so he fell to the floor on his hands and knees, "Did you really think you were going to survive that on your own? You should have waited!"

"I was…" he coughed twice into the sand, "counting on you to save me."

"Next time you won't be so lucky!" she hissed.

Ralph looked up and watched the three demons swimming deeper and deeper into the ocean.

"How do you know they'll stay in the ocean?"

Jenny fell into the sand beside him catching her breath as well, "Their water boys, part of me thinks they'll like it better than the pool back home."

Ralph looked over at her and saw the blood dripping from her leg. He examined the rest of her too. She was wet. Her hair was in a shaggy ponytail high on her head, and water dripped from her face. Her army colored Capri's and her white top designed with blue colored flowers hugged her body tightly. Her curves were hugged perfectly and the cups of her breasts were shaped perfectly around the blue Hawaiian flowers on her skin tight shirt. Ralph craved them and his mouth drooled. Her nipples poked out from her shirt and he couldn't stand to look at her any longer. She wasn't his. She never wants to be his and Ralph knew it. She too watched the demons swimming away deeper and deeper into the ocean.

Jenny placed her hand harshly on Ralph's back and grabbed the back of his shirt. When he looked at her, she shimmered like glitter. The atmosphere changed. He was in Rupert's office again with his hands and knees hard on the floor and Jenny was sleeping and soaking in Rupert's chair on his desk. He crawled his way over to her side and patted her back. She woke up shocked and gasping for breath.

"My leg!" she heaved out of the chair. "Oooh… my leg…"

The office chair went flying back and fell onto the floor. She sat on top of the desk ruining every book she sat on in the process. She tried to look at the back of her right leg but her hands were covered in blood. Just then the office door opened. Rupert opened the door and opened his eyes wider. He looked about as horrible as we felt. When he saw Jenny bleeding over his desk he ran to her side and color quickly came to his checks. He moved fast, then going into the shelves outside of his office until he found his first aid kit.

"Rupert… Rupert…" Jenny cried.

"I know sweetie. Hold on." He replied.

Ralph couldn't breathe himself and remained on his hands and knees beneath her unable to stand. Rupert brought back a first aid kit and held Jenny's leg up in the air as she sat on her other leg over his desk. Ralph watched amazed. She must have been a dancer because nobody could bend that way normally without much pain. Rupert seemed amazed himself but didn't linger on the fact. He rested her wet foot over his shoulder and examined the scratch on her leg. The blood made it look worse than it really was, but the scratch was vertical down her leg and about the length of an unused number two pencil.

"Disinfectant." Ralph instructed. Rupert acted on it immediately. "The scar is not deep enough to have caused muscle damage. She'll be fine. Just a lot of blood at first." Ralph breathed from the floor.

"ooohh…" Jenny reached out and squeezed Rupert's opposite shoulder when he spread the disinfectant to her leg.

"It's going to be okay love." He sounded sincere. She looked at him and smiled a bit.

Quickly he pulled out a wad of bandage wrap and wrapped a bunch of it around her leg.

"Sorry about your books." She replied as he finished up, "I smushed them."

He laughed, "It's fine. The books were only limited editions…"

He looked hard at Ralph who had finally gotten himself to sit up against the wall, "I thought I told you two not to chase after the demons. I told you to use a spell." He lifted his office chair back up and placed Jenny into it.

"I did." Jenny replied.

Rupert looked at her as she sat in the chair. Was she lying to him? She was wet and cut… which seems more like a chase than a spell. Rupert looked at her for the first time noticing how tight her wet clothes were against her body. She was no longer dripping wet but he could practically see through her white and blue shirt. Her nipples pressed lightly against her shirt and he wanted her so badly then and there. His lower half felt warm and when he was aware of this, he looked away from her. He looked at Ralph wide eyed and discretely moved himself in front of Jenny to hide her from Ralph. When Rupert gathered his thoughts back together he continued talking. Ralph didn't seem to notice what Rupert was doing.

"What happened?" Rupert almost choked.

Jenny looked down at herself trying to figure out what was wrong with Rupert and when she saw her the tips of her breast lightly poking against her shirt, she crossed her arms over her chest embarrassed and turning red quickly.

Ralph filled him in. "I went running and Jenny chased after me with some sort of astral projection spell."

"Oh." Was all Giles could say. He was not really listening, but lost in his own thought for a second, "Okay."

Finally he absorbed Ralph's words, "Wait… you were the one that broke into the boiler room?"

"Yea. Why?"

"I went there and closed up after you. You idiot! You could have gotten killed!"

Ralph laughed. "Yea that's why your girl saved me."

Rupert couldn't look at Jenny yet. So he gazed at Ralph. Jenny stared into the abyss in her own little world not listening to the conversation beside her.

"Look Rupert… we are fine okay? Don't worry about it, we survived." Rupert was too distracted with his thoughts to be mad. He was more embarrassed.

"Okay." He replied and walked out of the office.

"What's his deal?" Ralph's eyes followed Rupert out.

Jenny gave no answer. She just sat in the chair with her arms crossed staring at a blank wall.

*Giles*

When I walked out of the office, a man in a yellow suit walked in. This time he was a lone trooper. No Snider tagged along. I left the office door wide open. I wasn't thinking clearly but I figured what did he care? To him Jenny would just look like any other girl; if he could see her, he would not know she was a ghost. To him she was just a girl, but to me she was…

I swallowed hard.

"Hey… Giles right?" The guy asked.

I nodded.

"Right well, I thought you wanted to know… we couldn't find the creatures."

"Oh… that's too bad…"

"We think they headed through the sewers and we found… well… Snider will have to tell you but umm… I figured you wanted to know. Sorry about Snider… he is hard on us too." His sincere eyes made me feel sorry for him. I knew Snider was hard on him because Ralph, Jenny, and I made sure they wouldn't find the demon. "Well, were going to leave. There is no reason for us to keep on looking and worry the kids since nothing is here. Call us if you happen to come across it again."

"Will do." I gave my best smile.

He tapped the desk with his hand, nodded his head, and was on his way. I turned back toward my office staring at the floor.

"Animal control is leaving, they can't find the demons."

"Good. Finally they give up." Ralph smirked, "I almost got killed just so they'd lose and we would win."

I headed toward a shelf in my office that held a couple of clean clothes in case of an emergency. I didn't want the scoobs to expect that anything happened this morning. I didn't want Ralph to see Jenny… uh… wet.

"Ralph would you excuse us?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes, "Sure whatever."

He stood up slowly holding his head. He was hurting and I felt sorry for it, but I chose to not acknowledge it right now. I can thank him later. "Wait…" He looked at me before he headed out.

I continued, "When we're done talking do you think you can drive her home for me."

"Yes Sir." He replied pulling keys from his pocket, "but then I have to head to work."

I nodded still looking at the floor. He closed the door behind him. I went to the blinds and shut them completely so no one could see inside. I went back to my shelf and pulled out two button up shirts.

I handed one to Jenny only glancing at her, "You look cold."

I could hear her slowly moving in her chair, but my back was toward her.

"Thanks." She replied lightly.

I kept my back toward her and changed my shirt as well. I felt good putting on a fresh clean shirt.

"You don't think Ralph is going to wonder why I'm wearing an entirely different shirt?" she laughed.

"I don't care what he thinks." I responded honestly turning to look back at her.

When I faced her I noticed that she had been watching me as I changed and continued buttoning up her shirt without flinching when I turned around. Her eyes were beautiful and they held me. She stopped buttoning her shirt and her hands fell to her side. I looked down at her and in my opinion, she had not buttoned it up high enough. Nothing was showing exactly but I thought she could not show so much chest. I shook my head and reached out for her shirt.

"You're going to be the death of me." I whispered as I continued to button up her shirt.

I ended up buttoning it all the way up until I felt satisfied. She laughed and we met eyes again. She was gorgeous. I was dying on the inside. She stood so close but I couldn't touch her. Like a piece of God's art work or a devil tempting me, and teasing me. She began buttoning mine up all the way to the top as well. I smiled. I wish I could unbutton them all and watch her button them all back up again. Or I wish she could unbutton them all for me instead. I looked over to the floor and saw her wet shirt draping over the chair. I'd wish she would leave it there. I'd wish she'd forget it.

She did.

"I love you." She whispered.

I looked at her unable to give her a kiss without going out of control.

"I love you too." I replied attempting not to breathe her scent.

She slowly released my shirt and walked toward the exit.

"Rupert?" She turned around.

My heart skipped a beat, "Yes?"

"I think…" she looked at the floor and played with her fingers nervously.

*Jenny*

I wanted to say I was ready. The feelings were there, but the words weren't there. I tried… I really tried… but I couldn't. I had to tell him about Ralph. About Ralph's kiss. But I was not ready for that. I was not ready for him to be mad at me. I knew he would be. I was mad at me. I couldn't say it, and it killed me deeply inside.

*Rupert*

"I think you should let the kids know that they don't need to worry about the demon." She sighed.

"Yes, actually I was about to go find them."

"Okay." She smiled. She left.

I wish she'd of said more. I dreamed of that moment over and over after she left about the things I wish she would have said, but they were all just dreams. Dreams for now, and no matter what, I knew they would be reality later. I just knew one day we would get our chance. One day she would tell me that she was ready. When I finally went to go search for the kids, I was a walking corpse.

*Ralph*

I wasn't sure what was said, but Jenny was spaced out the entire ride home. I knew she was mad at me. I had many guesses why. I bet all of them were right. I didn't bug her on the ride home, or even pester her about her different shirt. I was sorry. For everything. I didn't mean to hurt her, but that was too late. I didn't want to say sorry either. But I know I should have. I hated that I loved her. I hated it so much that I accidently went above the speed limit by a bunch. Jenny didn't bother to say anything. She didn't seem to care.

"Jenny…" I breathed, "When are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know."

"But you will…?"

"I have to."

 _I'm sorry._ I wanted to shout.  _Please don't hate me. Please! Please! You don't understand… I'm sorry. If only you knew… If only you could understand._

I said none of it. My eyes watered instead.

When I parked in front of her new home, she opened the door but did not step out yet.

"I need you to stop." She said, "Stop trying to help me with things that don't concern the gypsies." I looked at her but it was hard; the light around her shimmered off of her skin, "I appreciate your help but the fact is that I am mad at you and you need to back off and leave me alone. I need to tell Rupert, and I need to tell him when you're not around."

All I could do was nod.

"Okay." She said. She left.

I was hurting on the inside so much that I couldn't move. I sat in my car and watched her walk into the house. Her house. His house. A puppy walked around to the front door of the house, and looked back at my car. He almost seemed to be glaring at me. I watched it helpless. Dead. I felt like a corpse. The dog began to scratch the bottom of Jenny's front door and I figured it as my cue to leave. When I started the car, the dog looked back at me. It took only one step toward my car, but I drove away.

_I was not crying. I was not crying. I was not crying. I was not crying uncontrollably._

*Jenny*

I opened the front door to the sound of the puppy scratching the door, but he was gone. The puppy was nowhere to be seen. It appeared that the puppy had disappeared. I didn't look for it. I didn't have the energy. I closed the door, took a shower, and went to sleep.

*Xander*

The day went by incredibly slow. Once it finally finished, even Giles looked beat. Earlier Giles had a teachers meeting that he needed to attend where Snider announced to the faculty about the deaths of the coach and the nurse. Giles looked sick afterwards. We waited until five after school in the library. Willow seemed to be the only one happy this was over. I was happy too, but only after my plasma transfusion. Buffy was happy but her mind was elsewhere.

"Buffy… I want to give you the rest of the school year off." Giles interrupted Buffy and Willow's conversation.

Buffy obviously didn't like the idea, "I don't know Giles… I think I need to patrol to keep my reflexes sharp."

"Next week is finals week Buffy and I think it's more important for you to pass your finals."

"Giles… I can do both."

"Buffy… I want to patrol."

"Okay then patrol with us." Willow jumped in. "I can work out some sort of stake a vampire study session."

"Oh! I'll bring the food Will, if you bring your brain!" I exclaimed.

"I'm going to patrol next week Giles and you can't stop me." Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

Giles irritated, gave in just a bit, "Fine, but can I at least patrol this weekend… starting tonight."

"I don't know…"

"Buffy, please."

She looked at Willow and me. We shrugged.

"Fine. Friday and Saturday."

Giles looked at her confused, "…and Sunday?"

"No I want Sunday." Buffy exclaimed. "If anything bad is going to happen, chances are it'll start in the beginning of the week like it always does."

Everyone was silent. Everyone knew she was right. Irony.

Soon enough it was time for Giles and I to get going.

*Giles*

I headed into my office as Buffy and Willow gave Xander their hugs and support. It perked him up a bit. I held onto Jenny's dried t-shirt draped over my chair, and smiled. I missed her so much. I tried imagining what she was doing right now. Sleeping. Searching the fridge for food that doesn't exist. I opened up the shirt to look at it, and it was so small. Jenny was so small. I imagined her wearing it again and what it looked like on her. My hands traveled down to where her breasts pushed hard against the shirt and my thumbs softly caressed nothing. My thumbs moved in circles around where her imaginary breasts were, but there was nothing.

"Giles?"

I jumped. Grabbing the shirt in one hand, and knocking the office chair over. I ignored the chair and looked back at Xander.

"I'm sorry…" he obviously regretted his one word. "…are you ready?"

"Yea."

I picked up the chair. I held the shirt tightly in my hand to a point where he almost could not see it, and cleaned up my office quickly. I left the books that Jenny sat on right where they were. I didn't have the heart to move them.

"Let's go."

*Ralph*

After dropping Jenny off this morning, I had a long day at work waiting for the kids. Waiting until five. Check up here, check up there. Nothing serious today. Everything seemed quiet in Sunnydale. I was bored.

I visited Nancy often. She kept me occupied. In fact, I was planning to take her on a date tonight. Tonight I didn't want to be alone. That could be dangerous. When five finally came around, Nancy found me with a patient to inform me.

"Hey Ralph," her smile was cute, "You have a group of high school boys insisting that they have an appointment with you now. That Mr. Giles guy is with them."

"Yes they do." I looked back at my patient, "This nice pretty lady is Nancy. She is going to check on you today. I need her to take my place… I'm a little tied up today."

"Alright." The patient was a good sport.

Nancy walked beside me whispering quickly in my ear, "Not yet you're not."

I couldn't figure out why I felt empty when she said it. I did my best to smile and she bought it.

Today has been a long day, and it was not over yet.


	20. Battle of the Gods

*Xander*

Ralph came down the hallway like a god. He had the cure to my infection. He had the cure to every single one of our infections. Turning demon into man. He might as well be a god.

The entire swim team…  _well, what's left of them anyway…_  sat in desperation. When they saw the doctor standing before them in his white uniform and gleaming white clipboard, they looked up at him. He smiled. Teeth of dentist.

"Alright, I'm ready for you boys now." He found me among the crowd, "Hello Xander."

About ten pairs of eyes glared at me. Full of hatred. Somehow the team got it into their mind that I brought this on them, and now that it was obvious Ralph and I previously knew each other, that shall only add to the gossip. I nodded back at him.

_Thanks Ralph…_

"Follow me everyone." He continued exasperated.

I followed his eyes back to Giles. He sat in the corner of the waiting room hiding under the shadows. His face was distant, and his thoughts seemed farther. It almost seemed pointless to wake him from his day dream, but I had to. Honestly, the team would be a nervous wreck without his presence. We needed a familiar grown-up right now, and Giles always was the safest familiar grown-up to be around.

The team quickly followed after Ralph, and I walked my way over to Giles. His eyes were glazed over. He had not noticed me when I stood right in front of him. Slowly I reached out to tap his shoulder. He blinked away from his dream to look at me. All I could decipher from his eyes was pain. I hoped that just meant he was tired, but I knew better. He was having a rough time, even if he'd never tell me why, I knew he needed a grown-up too.

"What is it?" He sat up, "What's wrong?"

"Ralph is taking the team to get our injections. You going to stay here?"

"No." he aroused neglectedly from his chair, "I know you guys will need me for something."

I playfully patted his back, "You're in for some quality hand holding time. How much do you want to bet that every member of the swim team is more than a wimp than me?"

Giles looked at his hand, he turned it to examine thoroughly. His eyes were glazed over again. He fell back into his day dream.

"Giles?"

He blinked back into reality. Once again, hurt.

_I hated to wake him._

He just looked at me.

"Let's go." I said. I turned to catch up with the infected before we lost them around the corner. Giles easily followed behind.

"You're a strong kid Xander…" I could hear him whisper, "You'll end up accomplishing more than the rest of these indignant adolescence."

"How much you want to bet?" I snickered over my shoulder.

"I'd bet the world on it."

"Be careful Giles…" I said putting my arm around his shoulder, "The world might just end tomorrow!"

He said nothing. He just smiled, dragging his feet, and slouching his head.

*Ralph*

One at a time I would get them into their hospital bed, start the procedure, and move on to the next. Excitement was overwhelming among the boys and I heard nothing but pants of worry, and obscenities. At least now these kids learned what happens when you mess with drugs. I reserved the entire section of medical monitoring beds so they could be next to their buddies, or whatever they wanted. Every single one of those impatient kids needed Rupert to hold onto their hand. And he did. He didn't complain. The treatment didn't hurt. I think they just wanted the attention.  _I think they wanted a way out of over-due library books._ Rupert was no god. He had some reason for pretending. For acting.

_Why wasn't he home… with her? Why was he here?_

I left Giles with the patient that started to cry although the I.V. was already in his arm, and made my way to the final infected member across the room. Maybe Xander will at least entertain me.

"H-hey Ralph." He stuttered as soon as he saw me. He certainly did try to hide his fear. That's more than I can say for the rest of them.

"Hi Xander!" I replied as cheery as I could.

I sat in the waiting chair, placing my medical bag on the silver tray beside him. He looked at me confused.

"W-w-what a-are you waiting f-for?"

"Oh… I figured you wanted to wait… for Mr. Giles?"

He shook his head, "He'll be here later. I think… I think I can do this."

 _He was entertaining. He didn't need Giles. None of them really needed Giles. They needed me, the doctor. If only Jenny understood that._ I took a glance at his blood type, checked that it was identical to the I.V., and made sure I was entirely ready to start the procedure.

I shrugged, "I'm ready if you are. You positive you want to do this without him?"

He nodded once.

"Alright." I stood from the stool, and slapped on some light blue rubber gloves.

He lay in the hospital bed quietly, and nervously rubbing the side of his leg with his thumb. I'm not used to making conversation as I'm working, but for him I had to try.

"You fight demons on a daily basis," I said cleaning his forearm, "you should not be scared of an I.V.?"

"I'm not the fighter person exactly… I just help find them. M-most of the time. And provide the much needed sarcasm."

"Well, if it was not for you, we would have never known what that tsurt demon was… "

"If I had not taken my sweet time, Gerfred probably wouldn't have died."

"Gerfred?" I laughed confused, "You mean Lucy? Trust me, that was not your fault. That situation was way more… complex then you realise."

"Lucy…?" wide eyed he watched me carefully as I held the I.V. I was about to inject into his arm.

"Feel free to look away."

He did without hesitation and looked to his right.

"I think I talked to a Lucy on the phone that night. She was at Giles's house. She told me… Gerfred died…" I could feel the doubt in his voice. There was a slight pause, "There was not even a Gerfred was there?"

I shook my head until I remembered that he was not looking at me, "No, there was only me, Lucy, Giles, and… hold still…"

The needle lightly pricked his skin, and I heard him whimper lightly. Slowly I dug it deeper into his arm, but it was over quickly. Before he realized it, tape and a cotton pad was already around the I.V. on his arm.

"Just don't think about it…" I said. "I know it feels funny but soon enough you won't even realize it's there."

"He is telling the truth," Rupert said. I hadn't even heard him come in. He found his way over to the seat beside Xander, "I had I.V. experience my whole life… comes with the whole fighting demons gig."

Xander finally faced me again, "You, Lucy, Giles, and who?"

Giles face zipped toward me with a zany prestige that I could not help but pass up. My advantage over him made me chuckle. Pure helplessness claimed his eyes.

"His girl friend…"

With that, I heard shouting from another bed. I turned around and took my first cue out of that room. When I saw Rupert's mouth fall agape, I smirked. I shouldn't have. I was going to get a good smack down later, but I had to prove something. Rupert was no god. He was a lying, cheating, stealing, undeserving son-of-a-bitch that didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve Jenny. I did. And I had just the cure.

"Ralph! Over here!" Nancy shouted.

I ran over and the tall, thin sixteen year old jock was seizing. The I.V. was not getting to him fast enough… he must have been changing into the demon as we put the I.V. in him. It must have been too late for him. Or almost too late. Nancy closed the curtain around the kid's bed for privacy, and I got to work. Mask over my face and one already over hers.

"Blood type?"

"AB positive."

"Get me another I.V. stat!"

*Xander*

"I knew it!" I sat up careful of the bag connected to my arm, "I knew you were hiding someone! I knew it!"

"This is not the time Xander!" he shouted back at me, "I need to check on the boy…"

"That's Ralph's problem! And now is as good as a time as ever for you to explain about your GIRL FRIEND! Why couldn't you tell us Giles?" He clenched the end of my bed with his fists. His knuckles turned a hard white. "We would never think any less of you… we understand losing Ms. Calendar has got to be hard for you…"

"You… don't… understand… bloody well anything Alexander!" His thundering voice made me shudder. People that could no longer see the seizing body looked back at us, "Nothing about losing Ms. Calendar was understandable! So I am sorry if I don't want to talk to you about how I am now forced to live without her… how I have no choice but to, to move on because I can't bring her back! It is not your problem if I choose to find solace because that is a personal matter that does not involve you! I don't care if you think less of me, and frankly I never did care, because without Jenny, I am less then I already was!"

He finally took a sharp breath, but his face did not regain any of his lost color. His face was as red as my favorite fire truck. Some of the team silently "aw-ed."

When he took notice of the number of heads turned in our direction he looked back at me, "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to find a way to force an impossible American dollar into an impossible snack machine and see if the crackers won't get stuck this time…"

With that, he darted out of the medical room, and everyone in beds or standing around was looking at me. I had almost forgotten about the I.V. in my arm. I had almost forgotten about the seizing boy. I closed my eyes and listened to Ralph shouting orders. I prayed quietly in my head that the boy would be okay, and that it would not happen to me.

*Rupert*

BANG!

"Stupid…"

BOOM!

"Machinery!"

My crackers were stuck… again. I started beating up the snack machine. No one was around to watch, so I continued to inflict pain on the metal machine.

I hated Ralph! No… I hated me. In that one moment Ralph could have spilled everything, I just stood there. I didn't want to move. In that one moment, I wished he would say she was alive and well. I hated myself for that. It was not what Jenny wanted, it was what I wanted.

I leaned my head against the cool surface of the vending machine.

I needed to snatch Jenny away from the world and go somewhere, anywhere, just me and her. No stress, no fuss. No Sunnydale. No hell mouth. No Ralph. No death, Vampires, Xander, Apocalypse, Demons, Work, Secrets, Guilt. No stupid impossible cracker machines! My foot slammed against the side of the machine again and next another punch with my swollen hand.

_Just us…_

I could imagine it now…  _London, maybe. I wonder if Jenny would ever consider moving to England._

*Jenny*

_England would be great._

*Giles*

_Ten acher green grassland, her white picket fence, and…_

*Jenny*

_And I could imagine him riding a stallion on our front lawn. Pretty brown horse. When we weren't making love or riding his horse he'd be in…_

*Giles*

_my study. I'd show Jenny my favorite stories and she'd read me hers. We'd own a typical English tub, always two feet of bubbles for Jenny with rose petals from me._

*Jenny*

_A front porch with a porch swing. We'd never have to leave the house._

*Giles*

_We'd be married. Happy. Growing old…_

*Jenny*

_Wrapped in his arms…_

*Giles*

_Maybe, just possibly… if the world was safe for a little while, have a couple of kids._

*Jenny*

_No kids. I don't want to mess up their lives too._

That's the thought that snapped me back into reality. That's the thought that made me realize that I was a nescience in Rupert's life… so it would be worse to dream other wise and become more broken then I already was. I continued to take my shower occasionally hitting the wall when I thought about the future, and what I was going to miss out on simply because we'd never have a normal life. Simply because I didn't deserve one.

*Giles*

What was I kidding? Would we ever have a normal life? I believe we deserve one, and dreaming will not help the fact that fate has already made plans for us. I hated fate since I was ten years old, but ever since my fate crossed paths with Jenny I couldn't help but love it. As long as I grew old with her in love, fate can go whichever way it wants. As long as it never takes me away from her again.

*Jenny*

He won my heart, so what could I do but love him?

*Giles*

She won my fate, so what could I do but accept it?

*Jenny*

If only I could be better for him…

*Giles*

If only the world stopped attempting to commit suicide every week and we could run away to our Sweet Escape...

*Jenny*

I would.

*Ralph*

I continued fighting for the boys life. The antidote was moving fast enough and he had stopped seizing but he still had the slight chance of losing some skin if he had changed into the demon just enough…

I sat next to him and waited. He fluttered his eyes open and watched me with fear. He watched me with the knowledge of what he had to live for.

I didn't know his name, and I didn't know what he had to live for, but I remember him whisper, "Don't give up."

I nodded at him and held his hand. His palms were sweaty and his hands were rough. His heart beat was five beats too fast, but I gave him a sedative to slow down his heart rate. Slowly enough he began to breathe normally. His heart rate chose a similar pattern, and I had won. I saved his life. He smiled laughing wickedly when he knew he was going to live.

"Okay how's your skin?" I asked examining his hands and face, "Do you think any of it ripped away?"

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

"Does anything hurt?" I continued.

"My shoulder…" he finally opened his eyes.

I carefully pulled his shirt down from his elbow and saw a small rip in his skin. Blood poured from it but not excessively.

"Okay, the skin will grow back over but I'm going to have to stitch that up for you and you'll have to leave it on for about a month or two."

He nodded smiling at me again, "Thank you."

I stitched him up, proud that I won. When I let him go, I went to check on Xander but he was already gone. The nurse said he was let go about five minutes ago. Too bad, he had so much more to learn.

*Xander*

I Had so much more to learn, I knew it. I could taste it. When my transfusion was finally over, I pulled Giles away from beating up the vending machine… or making love to it…  _yea don't want to know._

This time he was a walking daydreamer. I didn't mind waking him this time. I hassled him all the way to the car and he just kept telling me to shut up. Of course we made a scene out of the hospital but hey, at least we made a dramatic exit.

"If you keep dreaming, you're not going to want to wake up. So wake up and smell the tea Giles!"

He slammed his car door shut and started the car.

"I don't care who you think you are now that Jenny's died…"

"Xander…"

"No let me finish, I deserve that much!"

He accelerated the car but kept quiet.

"Do you not notice that you have been shutting everyone out of your life? We just want to help you Giles. We want you back the way you were… sure that will take time, and I'm not going to give up even when your acting like… like… well, like Snyder!"

"I know you want to help Xander, and I want you to help, but I promise I'll tell you when the time is right."

"When the time is right? What is that supposed to mean?"

"I can't tell you right now."

"That's not enough Giles! It's just your girl friend… I don't understand why you can't tell us. Buffy dated a vampire and I don't see how it can be much worse than that! And if you ever need anyone to brood with about the guy that murdered your girlfriend, you have your number one brooder right here!"

I heard him almost chuckle, "Yes, Angelus does suck..."

I nodded, "Literally."

Part of the car ride was silent as we steamed in our hatred of Angel. That was until I remembered I was arguing with him a second ago.

"Wait… that's not fair. You can't make me shut-up about this Giles."

"We are at your house." He parked in front of my lot and I saw my mom waiting for me. Only when she saw me, she smiled. I jerked my head back at Giles.

"I don't think you're in the right mind to be telling yourself what you think you need. I'm going to be a pain in your butt if you don't tell me what or who you're dating…"

"You already are a pain in my ass, we don't need a special occasion for it."

"Are you going to tell me?" I demanded.

"No."

"Then I'll find out by myself."

*Giles*

He slammed the car door shut behind him, and I noticed his mom walking past Xander and over to my car. Xander didn't seem to care and continued into his house without a second glance at her. I hurriedly tried to roll down my window. She wore a white sweatshirt and blue sweat pants. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head and I tried but couldn't see the similarities in her rounded face with Xander's pointed face. I was never good with things like that anyway.

Her face lit up when she saw me, her hand came through the open window and I reached over to shake it.

"Hello, I'm Jessica. Xander's mom." Her voice was rough as if she had been sleeping all day.

"Giles." I replied.

"You're his father."

I looked at her sheepishly. I almost had to do a double take.  _Drunk too?_

"What?"

Her eyes pinch shut as she realized her mistake, "I mean you're like a father to him. Much better than the one he's got now. He talks about you a lot."

I nodded, "Well, uh… thanks. You raised a good kid."

She smiled. "Well thanks for driving him home. Was he good, I think the school called and said he was at the doctors? I know if he thinks something is wrong with him medically he can get a little, hectic…"

"He was… manageable."

"Glad. Well, thanks again." She smiled. Part of me thought she was flirting, "See you around."

I just nodded. I didn't say anything.

She turned around and walked back to the house. Before I closed the window I could already hear her voice growling at Xander. I flinched.

"Alexander Harris! I don't know how you expect me to pay for all of these medical bills! Money does not grow on trees!"

"Jessica Stop Shouting!" Another voice I heard from inside the house. I figured his father.

I cringed. Part of me wanted to bring him back home with me. This was not the perfect place for Xander last night, and I saw that now. Nothing about his parents seem very comforting…

I just sat in front of his house for a long while wondering what I could do, but realized I couldn't do anything. I meant it when I said that Xander was a good kid. If he dealt with this his whole life, I think that means he'd be okay for now. I didn't feel good about driving away, but I did.

*Jenny*

I hated that I was helpless to the dreaming. I had done multiple tasks to stop me from dreaming about the future and cleaning the house was the best distraction. I started to feel sad that I had to limit my dreaming, and that grew to rage when I realized just how unfair life was. Why did I have to be born a gypsy? Why couldn't I really be Jenny Calendar, the normal computer science teacher that met Mr. Giles by pure chance? The light outside was beginning to dim away with warm glows of orange and dark blues. Around seven, Rupert finally began knocking on the door.

I rushed to the door and turned the knob, opening the door wide open. Slowly the rage lifted from me like a helium balloon as the door revealed more of his face. He leaned against the door way as he saw me. I loved the twinkle in his eyes.

"You going to come in?" I asked more relaxed then I had been all day.

"Can't." He said simply, "I'm a vampire."

I laughed and leaned against the door, "Oh… a vampire. So you need an invitation?"

"Yes, and from you since you live here. This shrub of a home."

"I like this shrub." I smiled. I enjoyed the reminder that I lived here, "Come in."

His face flashed to worry, "Uh… Jenny… you don't invite vampires into the house."

"What if I wanted to live with them forever?"

"Jenny!" he stood straight up from the doorway, "You better not do anything stupid and lose your soul on my behalf! Ever! Even if I was a vampire."

"What if I could find your soul?" I asked flirtatiously

He didn't buy it. He remained serious, "Then don't invite me in until you have!"

"I'll get right on that." I smiled.

"Hell woman, do you have a death wish?"

I stepped outside closer to him and pressed him against the doorway. I let my nose do it's dirty work and travel up the side of his neck, I felt him shiver. "Would I get to be undead with you forever?"

His hands traveled up my back and he pulled on my hair. It felt good. "Maybe."

"Then yes I do." I tilted my neck to the left and felt his lips impact hard onto my skin. I don't remember why I let myself get so close to him, or why I let myself go this far with the touchy, but I was too far gone to care anymore.

His lips tickled my skin, "then maybe we could make just one exception."

"What's that?" I whispered. My hands pulled his hair too, and I pulled his head harder against my neck.

"We can find our souls after were undead together."

I laughed, "Okay."

His arms traveled to my shoulder, and I lightly loosened my grip on his hair. I looked at him and noticed how had a new look in his eyes that I had not recognized before. I liked it. I liked it a lot. His grip left me completely, and I remembered Ralphs kiss.  _Not yet. Damn, I need to tell him first._ How, was the biggest question.

"I'm sorry." He looked away.

"No I'm sorry…" I nervously shifted my hair back behind my ears as i stepped back, "Rupert… I need to tell you something."

He looked at me, encouraging me to go on. I couldn't. I was choking.

_How shall I start? Ralph kissed me. The day Lucy died. No… I can't… I hate that I can't just say it! I need to but I can't!_

Instinctively I took a couple steps back from Rupert.

_You can never have him if you won't tell him! Is that what you want? You want him… can't have him…_

"What is it Jenny?" he asked holding my hands in his.

I looked up at him and when our eyes met I was too weak. I instantly filled with rage because I felt so weak. My face flared up and my voice hardened. One thing I needed to say, just one, and I couldn't, "I need to kill something…"

He looked at me odd so I continued, "I had a bad day."

"Well, that's convenient…" he shrugged.

"Why?"

"Because we're going to patrol today. Just you and me. Today and tomorrow will be your first days of combat training."

"Really?" Part of me had to force the excitement. I didn't like the conversation change.

"Yep. We should get going… it's going to be dark soon." He grabbed my shoulder, "but maybe this is too complex for you… I mean, if you don't know the basic rule about inviting a vampire into the house…"

"Fine! I won't invite you in when you're the undead. We're patrolling!"

He closed the front door behind us, "Good. I have some untamed rage myself."

"Bad day?"

"Let's just say… killing something does sound fun about now."

"Ah… the positive uses of living on a Hellmouth."

With our fingers entwined, we walked to his car. Rage in our finger tips, and guilt in my blood stream.

*Giles*

We were in the car out in front of Sunset Graveyard. Before I was going to teach her the basic maneuvers, I wanted to make sure she knew the basics.

"Stake to the heart, Crossbow, Cross, Holy water, Beheading, Sunlight… I know this Rupert."

"Okay. Now remember that even though you have the stake, you're not the one with the power, he is." She leaned her head impatiently against the window and looked at me like if she was bored. This was about the third time I was repeating myself. "Now don't look at me that way. Your life is important to me. Now if you remember that fact, you can use his own power against him."

"Really? Would you like to test that theory outside of the car?"

I opened the car door giving in, and she excitedly did the same. "Fine. But the most important rule, the one that every slayer is told…"

She followed me to the trunk of the car and I grabbed her shoulders tightly. She looked at me curiously, "Don't die."

She nodded her head acknowledging the importance of it.

"And rule number two, don't shoot me this time." I joked. She laughed.

I opened the trunk and inside were plenty of weapons but for this night, I only grabbed the basics. A couple of stakes, holy water, and a cross. She placed a stake in her pant pocket, the holy water in her back pocket, and she put the cross somewhere down her shirt. She noticed me looking at her confused.

"It's for if the vampires try to make a move on me." She joked.

I laughed and did the same. "Oh they'll be dust before they think about trying."

"Same for you." She said adjusting the cross I just put down my shirt.

I turned around and slammed the trunk. It shook the entire car.  _Yea… maybe I did need a new car._

"I half expected to see a dismembered body in your trunk." She laughed.

I looked back at her to join in on her warm laughter, but then I saw what she snatched from the trunk.

"Uh… Jenny…"

"I won't shoot you… this time." She shrugged adjusting the crossbow to point in the air, "I just think I should learn to use it better."

I swallowed hard. "Okay."

She followed me into the graveyard and we past plenty of graves. To many people died here, and about half of them won't stay dead. I set up camp near a safe oak tree which Buffy and I always used for patrolling in this graveyard. I looked back at Jenny and she was neglecting to let go of the crossbow.

_I guess we were starting with the crossbow._

"Okay… lets aim for that tree…" I pointed to a thin tree about twenty feet from where we stood.

She carefully pulled out a wooden bolt and placed it on the bow. Her thumb tightly held onto the string that would shoot the bolt, she held it before her in the direction of the tree, and let it shoot. The bolt flew about fifty feet away from the tree.

"What?" she shouted.

"Hun you have to aim it at eye level."

"I've never seen Buffy aim it at eye level… she just holds it out in front of her and shoots…"

"Jenny, Buffy is different. She is the slayer… she has instinct."

She broadened her shoulders, "I'm a gypsy, and therefore I have instinct too."

"Well as long as your instinct is not aiming for my ass…"

"Okay, okay! Sorry…" she tried again, this time holding the crossbow at eye level, and shot for the tree again. The blow caused her to fall back a couple steps but she hit the tree exactly where the heart would have been, had it only been a vampire. Suddenly I was less afraid of her holding a crossbow.

"Hey. I got it!" She shouted in excitement.

"Now let's try it on a moving target."

_I didn't say that._

"Like what?" she replied turning to look at me.

Then out of the blue a vampire came flying in and pushed me to the ground. Jenny screamed my name and I scrambled back to my feet. The wrinkled face leather cloaked vamp was holding his hand in pain. Steam arose from his hand and I remembered the cross in my shirt.  _Kudos to Jenny._

His rugged voice was about as ugly as his outfit, "What are you a priest?"

"Nah." Jenny replied and punched a stake through his back. The vampire lunged forward still on the end of her stake, "he's more like a god."

The vampire dusted.

"Well, I mean… he's pretty enough to be." She shrugged and dusted the dirt off my shirt, "You can cross off the stake, crossbow, and cross from the list of weapons to teach me to use. I think I got them down."

"Smart student."

"Testy teacher."

"Speaking of God and his holiness…" I leaned against the oak tree, "if you don't want to talk about it then just say so… but do you remember what happened to you when you died? Did you see him or angels or something?"

She leaned against the gravestone next to me.

"Well, I do remember Angelus murdering me. Then after that," she swallowed hard with one hand reaching for her neck, "I remember everything going white. Like when you blink, except I saw white instead of black. The pain stop and I felt weightless. I can't remember anything at all other than that. But I do believe in God. If there wasn't one, I think the battle of good versus evil would just be the battle of evil versus evil. And if there was no such thing as God, then I wouldn't be here… with you. There'd be no fate, no predicting the future, and no higher beings balancing good and evil. Would there?"

I thought hard about that every day, and in just one moment, Jenny could make perfect sense of it all, "No, I guess not."

"Rupert, I want to go to church."

"Okay but that's not until Sunday…"

"Will you go with me?"

I looked at her questioningly, "Well sure, but why?"

"I want to thank the God that gave me everything." She smirked leaning against my shoulder, "And show him I'm making a good man out of you. If I'm going to heaven, you better be too."

"Personally I think you're both going to hell… but that's just a vampire's take on the whole subject…"

I heard the voice behind me and the hairs on my neck sent an alarm though-out my entire body. I ducked to the floor avoiding a blow from the vampire and watched as Jenny held the crossbow at eye level.

_That's my girl._

Before I knew it, it was raining dust.

"I promise to take you to church on Sunday." I said and her smile was heavenly.

I gust of wind blew and her hair flew calmly in the wind. Her skin literally glowed as she looked up to the moon. Nobody was as angelic as her. Never in my whole life had I seen someone so … so… perfect.

"You're an angel." I said getting to my feet.

"What?" she said taken aback.

"Excuse me…" I said taking one hand of hers and watched as I made her twirl. "You're MY angel."

"Are we dancing?" she asked putting her right arm around the arch of my back.

"No… dancing during a patrol is extremely dangerous." I held her closer, "I'm watching your back, and you're watching mine taking slow swaying steps."

"Oh… my mistake." She laughed.

"Hey, is that a vampire?" I asked tilting her back over my arm. She looked back exposing her long neck before me. I kissed it lightly and brought her back up.

"No. That's a tree."

"You sure?"

"Let me check again."

I twirled her again, caught her in my arms and leaned her back again. I nuzzled her neck, and she tensed.

"Vampire!" she shouted.

I looked up and saw it too. She hurriedly stood back up and I grabbed a tree branch on the floor. I waited for him to come closer to make my move just right.

"Rupert Duck!"

"What?" I turned and saw her ready with the crossbow. I fell to the floor, arms over my head, and looked at the vampire. She missed the heart.

"Oops." I heard her say.

Now that the vampire was distracted, I jumped back to my feet and pulled the wooden bolt from his lower intestines and heard him howl in pain. In a moment of his fear he grabbed my arm but I already jammed the bolt deep into his unbeating heart. His dust left a light scratch in my arm. Little blood.

"Three vamps in one night… Angelus really likes to…" I took one look at Jenny and shut myself up.  _Angelus likes to stir things up._

She came over to me, "You okay?"

"Yea." I held her against me, "I think the last one bit me."

I stuck out my tongue and licked the side of her neck. She lightly started punching me playfully and that only made me push her closer against me. I felt like such a kid. With her, I felt so young, so shameless.

"Ah… Rupert!" she howled as I roughly kissed her neck. Slowly my lips found a way to hers and she continued to playfully push me away, but she was stuck in my arms. That's when my world stop spinning.

****FLASHBACK****

Jenny had felt very uncomfortable but was already stuck in his arms.

"Ralph what are you…"

She was interrupted when he pulled her chin towards him and he pressed his lips against Jenny's. She tried so hard to pull away but Ralph persisted on holding her near. Jenny held her lips shut tightly between her teeth. Then she had shot her angered knee straight up into his groin. He finally pushed her back against the wall as he fell back a couple steps.

Ralph cried in pain and looked back at Jenny but she thought nothing of his pain. To him he was nothing but filth. "You sick Son of a Bitch! What made you think that I was okay with that?"

"I'm sorry… I thought…"

"Thought that I would ever love a liar like you? Ralph your disgusting! I would never cheat on Rupert and I know you know that too!"

**** END FLASHBACK****

"Hey? You sure your okay?" Jenny laughed in my arms as I held her so close, "I lost you for a second there."

"No." I let her go and backed away looking at the floor. I couldn't believe what I just saw. I couldn't look at her without being sick over the thought that Ralph had a taste of her lips too.

"Your not okay?" she asked worried.

"How could you not tell me!" I shouted at her. I felt embarrassed, weak. Ralph has been working at my side for the last couple of days and I... I had no clue. "How could you not tell me?" I shouted again almost crying.

"What? Rupert… are you…"

"He kissed you! Ralph kissed you… that explains it… that explains everything." Tears flew out of my eyes, "I can't believe you wouldn't tell me!"

For a long moment she was silent. I watched the floor wishing it would do something crazy. Something weird so I knew it was a dream. But it was not. Everything felt so real. Everything hurt so bad.

"Jenny why don't you trust me?"

"What does that have to do about trust?" she asked and I didn't have to look at her to hear her chocking her words out. She sounded as devastated as I was.

"Everything Jenny! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how…" she admitted, "I was scared you would be mad at me. It was hard. I tried."

"You don't trust me when I tell you 'I love you'? Jenny I'm not ever going to leave you because he forced a kiss on you. I can't believe you don't trust that I would understand… I can't believe your scared of me."

"That's not what I meant!" she cried.

"What did you mean Jenny?" I shouted back looking her deep in those angelic eyes.

She said nothing. She was out of words. I wasn't, but I wasn't going to say them. I was hurt. I knew the kiss was not her fault but what she thought of me made my world crumble.

"Patrolling is over." I turned away from her. "Get in the car, were going home."

Soon enough, the sky started pouring.


	21. Trust Me, I Love You

*Jenny*

"When is it going to hit you Jenny that I don't care who you were…" Rupert practically blurted out on our ride home. It was the first time he talked to me again in the car ride and his yell almost made me jump out of my seat. He continued,"…Janna or whatever, where you're from, or whatever the hell you think you did, and that no matter what I'm always going to love you! Damn it Jenny…"

He rushed the car pulling it off to the side, put it in park, and looked at me harshly.

"Do you know what that means when I tell you I love you? Are those just words to you?"

"No Rupert! There not!" I shouted back astounded that he would even consider that I didn't love him back, "I was just so scared… I'm sorry I didn't tell you…"

He cut me off, "It does not hurt that you didn't tell me, what hurts is that you didn't trust me enough to tell me. All I ask of you Jenny is to put a little faith in me. To be a little bit considerate to the fact that I love you, even if maybe you don't feel the same way."

"But Rupert I do. I do love you!"

"Are those just words to you Jenny? When you tell me you love me… do you mean that you can trust me with anything… that you can tell me anything? Or are those just words that you feel you need to respond?"

"I know what it means to you because it means that way to me!"Cars that drove by felt like my life was flashing bye.

"Oh really? Is that so? Hell, your young Jenny, you don't know what love is!"

"Are you kidding me? Is that what you think?"  _I almost wanted to jump out of the car and walk home from there. Did he really believe what he was saying? Did he really think that I didn't love him?_ "I'm too young and stupid to understand love? I know what love is because I have never felt so… whole. So at peace, and I've died so that is saying something! I can't explain the sparks I feel for you, but I feel these sparks for only you Rupert! I love you so much that I didn't tell you, because I'm more scared about losing you. You're right. I did screw up Rupert. I should have told you what happened right away, I know that, but love is about learning. And I learned. However you have no right to accuse me of not understanding what love is. You have NO right to call me young! I understand Love!"

"Love is about trust Jenny." His grip was so tight on his steering wheel that I figured it could snap at any moment.

"Love is about building trust."

"Are you telling me now that I don't understand love? Jenny I'm older than you…"

"Age doesn't mean SHIT!" I interrupted, "I'm telling you you're blind. I love you. If my mistake made you think that I didn't love you, then you're blind!"

Unexpectedly he reached out for my face. Anyone else probably thought he was going to hit me, but I knew better. I felt entirely safe but confused as he pulled me against him. He forced his lips against mine and weak to his touch I kissed back. I wasn't sure what he was doing, or trying to say, but I just wanted to kiss him back. He harshly nibbled on my bottom lip and my tongue tickled the roof of his mouth. He held me so tight and I wanted more when the question popped into my head, " _What if this was our last kiss?_ "

I easily lifted myself from the passenger seat and moved both legs over his without allowing him to lose the kiss. He hadn't stopped me, rather he encouraged me. I was carefully able to push both legs apart on each side of him and pulled myself toward his chest, sitting on his lap. I heard him moan as we kissed. That brought the sparks to surface and I moaned as well. I was grabbing the top of his buttoned shirt and his hands never left my face. The faint sound of a horn suddenly forced us to stop. I was leaning against the steering wheel,  _…great, I ruined it._ We hadn't noticed how long the horn had been going off, but we both realized it at the same time. We pulled apart. His eyes were still closed and I felt his warm breath on my face.

I awkwardly moved myself back to the passenger seat without saying a word biting my numb bottom lip that he had been nibbling on. His taste was still on my lips.  _How could I be so mad at him, and still want to kiss him? Was that what that was… a last kiss?_ I was so confused and scared watching him as his eyes glazed out the front window and he took a deep breath.  _How was he feeling? What was he thinking? Why did he do that?_ His expression seemed surprised but emotionless. I waited for him to say something… anything… but after a while, he just started the car.

*Ralph*

I awoke the next morning surprised to be feeling fingers running across my chest. I looked over and saw Nancy smiling and waiting for me to awaken. I could feel her bare body pressed against my side but the blanket covered her just to the tops of her breasts. I couldn't remember what happened last night… but I sort of figured it out. I smiled and felt the after-burn of a hangover.

"Good morning." Nancy whispered in a light voice.

I grumbled sitting myself up and looked at the alarm clock. It was ten a.m. and right next to the clock was my medicine. I poured myself a bottle of booze and looked back at Nancy.

"Morning." I took a sip, "Do you remember what happened last night… or was I the only irresponsible one?"

She pulled my arm out in front of her face. For the first time I noticed the bruises around my wrists. Then I followed her eyes to my headboard and there was a scarf ripped to shreds still barely clinging onto it. As I tried my best to remember anything, I felt her tight little body slip on top of mine.

"Well… I have a good idea." She hummed. She pressed against me and we kissed. I imagined Jenny's lips and loved the taste. I remembered her scent, and nuzzled in it.

When she pulled away and I saw Nancy again, I took another sip of my drink.

"How did we get here?" I teased.

"We went to 'Willy's' new bar… got drunk, and came here I guess." She shrugged. "But I don't remember doing that…" She looked over her shoulder at the spell I conjured up for tracking Jenny's vengeance demon. Thankfully it was untouched. It was just a map on the floor mixed with smelly sand everywhere. A couple of crystals were placed around the edges of the map and they all shimmered in the morning light. No bright light yet… no vengeance demon.

"What is it?" she asked looking back up at me.

"Just one of my toys." I replied smoothly, "So what do you say we head to work now?"

She groaned and rolled off of me. I sat up, found my pants and pulled them on. She stood from the bed with the blanket wrapped around her looking for her clothes. I looked around for hers too but I couldn't find them on my side of the bed.

"Well… I hope I didn't arrive here already naked…" she questioned.

I had a hunch and moved my way to the door.

"Where are you going?" She called after me.

I swung open the front door and on the floor outside were her clothes, every layer just sitting on my welcome mat to my apartment room. I reached down to pick them up and she was already over my shoulder when I turned around. Part of me was frightened.

"I found them." I choked and handed them to her.

"Guess we barely made it through the front door." She winked.

I laughed as she walked into the bathroom to change. I found a shirt in my dresser and couldn't take my eyes away from the map. I was anxious for it to glow.

"So…" she bellowed from behind the bathroom door, "Would you like to do this again…?"

The phone rang.

"One second!" I yelled back at her as I reached over for the phone.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Ah Roffie… finally…" It was my brother, "I have been calling all night."

"I was a little…" I played with my wrists, "…busy. What do you want?"

"I'm doing good thanks." He requested smugly, "Just wanted to warn you about something about to be dug up in the near future. A… Pandora's box per-say."

"Right… do you expect me to easily follow every trap you send me? Expect me to be side tracked?"

I heard Nancy closing the bathroom door behind her but I didn't bother to turn around. She walked up behind me, and started to tuck in my shirt for me.

"No-no. Well, yes… but what I tell you I still think you would find important. Am I wrong?"

I thought about it.  _Yea… I did want to know about the vengeance demon._

"Okay, but if you don't trust me… why do you tell me this, if you think I'll tell…" I looked at Nancy, "I'll tell the other guys?"

"I need them to know." Damian said simply. He always sounded so calm, like he never had a care in the world. "Isn't that their purpose in life or something… to save the world?"

"You want to save it?" I asked confused.

"Roffie… brother… I love you. I don't want the world to be screwed over… I just want Janna…" He snickered, "I appreciate getting revenge on Janna but I don't want the world to be screwed over by opening this… Pandora's box."

It made sense, but I was still shaky on believing him, "What do you mean Pandora's box?"

"I am not sure… I played with a couple of my telling cards again and they flipped on their own right in front of me. I have never seen anything like it. Three cards… First was a picture of construction site… "

"They have a card for that?" I asked confused.

"I guess they do now… the cards changed their image… it was… interesting."

"Why do you have an accent when you speak on the phone?" Nancy laughed. To hush her up for a second I kissed her cheek but she didn't get the message, "Where are you from… somewhere in Europe right?"

"Romania…" I whispered and put a finger to my lips and she finally got the message.

Damian continued, "Next, came a box… I studied the best I could but it seemed too old for me to pull up any information on it. And the final card was fire. Lots and lots of fire. I guess that meant hell…"

"So whatever is in the box…"

"…Will release something hellish... Yea." I heard him shuffling around, "I have a number for you, get Rupert to call it. The guy's name is Doug Perren. Once they pull this box out of the ground, chances are this guy is going to be the one looking after it."

I nodded… "Nancy can you find me a pen in that drawer over there?"

She nodded.

"Ah… what's that I hear?" Damian chuckled, "Is she there with you now? Janna? Such an early hour for her to be in your apartment…"

Nancy came back with the pen, "Here you go." I took it from her and she started to kiss the back of my ear. I felt her tongue tracing the folds of my ear.

"Are you sleeping with the traitor?" He ordered.

"Damian, what's the number…?"

"How does traitor feel like Roffie? Didn't it feel wrong? How can you allow yourself no boundaries, and slip yourself inside of her like that?"

_Part of me didn't want him to stop. I began daydreaming with my eyes clothes hearing Damian's words and felt Nancy kissing me. But it was Nancy. Not Jenny._

"It's not her!" I forced.

Nancy stopped.

"Find the number on your own." The phone went dead.

"Damn it!" I jammed the phone back on the receiver and Nancy jumped.

"Who's not her?" She asked.

"It's nothing…" I assured her, "How does tonight sound?"

"A date?"

I pulled her against me for a hard kiss.

"I'll take that as a yes." She breathed with a smile across her lips.

With the pen she handed me I wrote a name on my hand.

"What's that for?" She asked.

"I got to find a number of a Mr. Doug Perren."

She took the pen from my hand and wrote the name on her hand too. "Let me find it for you. I mean… I am the receptionist."

I looked her in the eyes and pulled her face toward me again, "Thank you!"

*Jenny*

Saturday passed exactly how I expected. Rupert hadn't avoided me, but neither of us really talked to each other. We each had a lot to think about. I wasn't talking to him but not because I was mad at him, but because I thought I deserved it. I thought it was probably better for him.

We were on our second night of patrolling and for Rupert's sake, I left the crossbow behind. This time we were patrolling at a park, the same park that I … stabbed him in the back with a crossbow bolt…  _but I guess that was not the first time I stabbed him in the back._

Sun was set, so vampires were out.

"Remember…"

"I'm not the one with the power." I filled in, guessing what he was going to say.

He shut the trunk of his old car, "Don't die."

I watched him as he made his way over to the bench. I started to consider it again… even though I promised him I wouldn't… but what if it was better for Rupert for me to just disappear. I hated the thought but I also knew it was probably true.  _Was I wrong? How would Rupert be if I was never in his life?_   _He wouldn't need to worry about the gypsies or the vengeance demons that are hunting me down… his life could continue to be how it was before he met me… somewhat normal. Isn't that what's best for him?_

I know that I love him, but I don't understand why he loves me.  _Why would he love a backstabber like me?_ He was right… I didn't believe he meant it when he told me he loves me. Because if he did, he was blind to not understand how it's bad for him.

I stumbled my way over to Rupert at the bench placing a cross down my shirt again since it seemed to be helpful last time, and attached a stake to the hip of my pants. Rupert stuffed one in his sleeve. I did the same.

After we were geared, we sat on the top of the bench and just waited. Nothing but the sound of the wind and rustling of trees filled the air. He never said why we came to the park instead of the cemetery, so I never asked. That's where all of the action seemed to be…  _for now._

I saw a shadow move it's way into the bushes. I looked at Rupert but he didn't seem to notice. Lost in thought. So I went after it on my own. He watched me leap off the bench and I couldn't tell if he followed me. The bushes moved slightly again, but nothing jumped out. When I reached out for the heavy blue moonlighted bush, I shifted branches to the side and a rabbit limped it's injured foot out from the bottom of the bush. Nothing here.

I turned back around and jumped back when I saw just how close Rupert was behind me. I couldn't hear his footsteps following me. I shrugged my shoulders to indicate that it was my mistake, nothing was here. Then grubby fingers strangled the back of my neck.

"Jenny!" Rupert shouted scared.

My throat was tightening and I couldn't see my attacker but felt a cold nose pressed against my neck.

"You smell juicy." It whispered in a groggy morning voice. It was easy to tell this vampire was fresh from it's grave. Grime from his fingers was pressing hard against my neck, "And the hormones racing through you when you look at Romeo over here make you taste even sweeter."

"Stop!" Rupert called out to it, "What do you want? Let her go!"

I was clawing at the vampires hand, but it did nothing. I was losing air. Although the fingers clasped around my throat were cold, my neck was heating up. It burned with the lack of oxygen as I struggled for air. My face was flaring up. I hated when attackers reached for my neck. Rupert looked almost helpless. He couldn't do anything without tempting the vampire to take a chunk out of me. I was dead, I disobeyed his only rule, but I would let him get caught too.  _Don't die Rupert._

"Your killing her let her go!"

I couldn't speak, so Rupert was unprepared for what I was about to do. I kicked my feet up and pushed my legs hard against Rupert so he could take a hint and get a head start out of here. Unprepared, he fell back onto the floor. The force from my push forced the new vamp to take a couple steps back and THUNK. He hit something that shook the both of us violently. Before I knew it, I fell to the floor with a pile of dust raining over me. I choked for breath.

When I looked up, I saw that I pushed him against a tree. Conveniently a ragged branch was bent out which dusted my attacker. Still catching my breath inhaling vampire dust, I crawled my way over to Rupert.

"Jenny – Jenny... Do you need a doctor?"

I coughed shaking my head in return. He patted dust out of my hair.

"Don't you dare go off without me again." He whispered with much emotion in his voice.

Those words swirled in my head.  _Don't you dare go off without me again._

"I'm okay." I wheezed.

He nodded but I dare not look him in the eyes. Gorgeous green untouchable eyes. We both stood on our feet dusting each other off.

I made my way to a swing set and lumped my way onto a swing. Rupert followed me cautiously, trying not to get to close, and leaned against the pole of the swing set. No signs of undead. Once again, the whistling of the wind and bustling of the trees was all that hummed in the air. Not one of us said another word to each other.

 _What if I did? … What if I just disappeared? Rupert wouldn't be lonely, I mean… he has the scoobies. And maybe he could meet someone else…_ I watched him gazing at the moon and had to pull my eyes away from him with the thought of Rupert with someone else.  _Someone… Better. Someone that wasn't making huge mistakes that karma hit her hard for. Or someone that didn't always need protecting._ I was getting sick to the thought of it.

I started to swing back and forth. Slowly pushing hard with my legs, I had gotten higher and higher. Rupert watched me, looking away from the moon. I aimed my swing for the moon. As I swung high into the air, I figured it be a good way to notice any far away danger. That plan worked about as quickly as I thought it up. A vampire was making it's way toward us, and when it saw me swinging, it started making it's way faster.

"Rupert!" I shouted.

I pointed dead ahead but could not slow down the swing fast enough. Rupert ran toward it at full force with the stake ready from his sleeve. He got in a good punch, but the vampire had him at the collar quickly with his back toward me. I had to get off this swing!

The swing moved back hard, and I adjusted the cross in my shirt. As the swing made it's way back forward, the vampire was close enough for me to get in a jump attack. Once the swing was in the right position, I jumped high and flew from the swing to the vampire. Stake in my sleeve, and at the ready. Vampire struggling with Rupert in his hands, neither of them saw me coming.

My body landed full force onto the old vampire and he fell forward to the ground. Rupert was released and tossed to the side. In a moment of shock that my plan had worked, my stake flew out of my sleeve and I froze. The vampire's arms were wrapped tight around me in an instant. I was confused when I saw the smoke coming from between us until I remembered the cross in my shirt and hugged the vampire back.

"AH! GET HER OFF OF ME!" he screamed in pain, "How are you doing that!"

He tussled me around and rolled me onto my back. His fingernails dug into my back, but I pressed the cross against him hard. I was going to have a cross shaped bruise on my stomach tomorrow.

He yelled at me in pain, "You're going to pay! This won't kill me..!"

"No… but this will." Rupert lunged his stake forward and the vampire lost hold of me. Watching him dust was like watching a balloon pop.

"Why am I always on the floor?" I ask as Rupert gave me a hand back up.

"Thanks for warning me this time." He said more pleased.

That was the last thing he said to me that night. No more vamps came, and we headed back home earlier than usual. Three vamps yesterday, and two today. Rupert was right, something must be up.  _How many times do you want to bet we say that in a month?_

****Later****

Rupert was sleeping on the couch again. I stood from the top of the staircase just watching him. He had no clue I was watching him. I

spent all day thinking about it being better for him if I just left. All day, that's all I thought about. I thought about spells that could make him forget I was ever here; I thought about disappearing. I even questioned if I was strong enough to pull myself away from Rupert. But tonight while we were fighting vampires I realized something that made me feel dumbfounded for not realizing it before.  _Had Rupert known this little detail all along?_ It was something obvious from when we first met…

I realized that Rupert could shut me out of his life if that's what he wanted. Today, that's exactly what Rupert wanted; not to talk to me. But when the vampire held him with no mercy tonight, or when he needed to get a demon out of the internet the first time we conversed, needed to save the world from the master, needed help from another vamp about to kill him before I accidently shot him in the back, and needed a date to get away from the demonic world… he didn't want me at times, but he needed me. That's what I realized tonight. I needed him just as much as he needed me. What I thought he wanted, was not what he needed.

Our entire relationship, we have been pushing each other away because we thought that was what we wanted, but for some reason we always found a way back to each other. The reason being… we needed each other. We were both able to handle our own, but still, a part of us always needed each other. I knew that now. I felt like I had just inserted the final piece of this puzzle that I had been doing wrong the entire time… that is… until now. Love with a want, is just lust. But love with a needing and a passion, that was a bond.  _I wanted him, I needed him, and I had a passion for him._

I didn't need him for just the demon help. I needed him because I loved him. He is my best friend. He is my life. I need my life, or else I'd have none.

_What would I be without him?_

The question I neglected asking myself all day. That was simple. Dead.

_Sure… our lives, (Watcher, Slayer… and prophecies) seemed to be tied around fate and destiny. And that could be part of what Rupert and I was… our relationship could be part of fate and destiny… but I knew better. I knew it wasn't the prophecies that predict what we do. They just know our decisions and the paths we are going to chose. The slayer didn't have to go to the Master's layer to die. But she did. I don't have to stay in this house with Rupert if I didn't think it was best. In fact, I could walk out of this house right now._

Rupert turned over on the couch. His glasses were still on his face and despite the darkness, I could see perfectly. He was staring straight at me watching over him. And for a long time, we just froze watching each other. Neither saying a word. Finally, after about a good ten minutes, I turned my back toward him. I walked straight to our bed and jumped into it.

_But I didn't want to walk out of our house. I didn't need to walk out of our house. I loved being with him in our house. And part of me knew the same went for him… whether or not I could understand why. I don't know why he loves me, but I just know that he does._

Before I shut my eyes and fell to sleep, I made a promise with myself.

_Rupert doesn't think I trust him. Tomorrow I can show him exactly how much I do…_

*Ralph*

"I still don't get what the number was for." Nancy said leaning her head against Ralph's shoulder as they watched a drive in movie from his car.

"Thanks for finding it."

"It was too easy." She replied, grabbing a handful of popcorn from Ralphs lap.

Nancy found Doug Perren's number for me first thing in the morning. It had taken her less than fifteen minutes as soon as we got to work. Yet, I spent all day even wondering if I should tell Jenny. I remember exactly what she told me the last time we talked.  _Don't try to help me with anything not concerning the gypsies. I'm mad at you Ralph, and I need you to stay away from me._ What if I had called, and filled her in? What if they already knew about this weird box thing, and Jenny never talked to me again since it had nothing to do with the gypsies?  _I couldn't have that._ I know what I wanted to do was tell her, and what I should do is leave her alone.  _Could I handle the weird box along with the vengeance demon?_ I couldn't decide. Not tonight anyway.

*Jenny*

(***SUNDAY M0RNING)

"Jesus went to the house. He let only Peter, John, James, and the girl's father and mother go inside with him. All the people were crying and feeling sad because the girl was dead. But Jesus said 'Don't cry. She is not dead; she is only sleeping.' The people laughed at Jesus because they knew that the girl was dead. But Jesus took her by the hand and called to her, 'My child, Stand up!' Her spirit came back into her, and she stood up immediately. Jesus said, 'Give her something to eat.' The girl's parents were amazed: but he charged them to tell no man about what he had done." The priest looked up at the pews full of people, adjusted the glasses at the end of his nose, and continued to preach with his powerful voice. "Luke 8:51-56."

_I felt like I was that girl. I felt like I too was getting a second chance._

Rupert's fingers brushed through my hair, and I was surprised. I looked over at him but his eyes were still on the preacher. He endlessly confused me. He was still mad at me, he still hadn't talked to me much, but he had remembered his promise to bring me to church. And that's where we were. Him in his tweed, and me wearing the only white dress I owned, and sunglasses over my eyes so no one would notice me.

Morning light gleamed through the stain glassed windows painted with different images of Christ. The smell of different incents of candles filled the air, and I believed that I could accurately decipher half of them. The dew from a fountain filled with holy water seemed to fill the air, making every breath a refreshing one. The priest was a tall black man with a booming voice that held an audience without much effort. I liked this small little Christian church that Rupert brought me too. I liked that Rupert was here with me, even though it doesn't seem like he went to church much before I met him.

When the service ended, everyone had left their pews to take off in their different directions. Some went straight to the preacher as if they were all old friends, others kneeled onto the kneeling stands in the pews and continued to pray. Rupert and I were part of the crowd that dipped our fingers into the holy water, blessed the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and made our way outside to the glistening sun. Rupert's eyes had to squint to adjust to the light. I was already wearing my sunglasses.

"You up for doing this again?" I asked and quickly grasped his hand before he could realize what happened.

He attempted not to smile,  _but it failed,_ "Every Sunday." He agreed.

"It's a date." I smiled and pulled on his arm. "How often have you gone too church?"

"Er…" I could hear in his voice that he was debating with himself how much he should really talk to me. Like if he didn't want to make me think that things between us were suddenly okay. Irritating for me but I admired his etiquette. "Well, I went as a kid, but I don't believe I've been since I discovered my destiny as watcher."

"Watchers can't believe in God?" I joked.

"They don't want to." He admitted, "They see so much torture and death, they naturally turn away from the Almighty One."

I stopped in front of the car and turned to face him, "What about you?"

He laughed to himself like if he had some sort of inside joke, "You have to understand… the family I grew up with wasn't all that religious. My entire life I've researched demons and evil, but I never really considered the concept of God until…"

He stopped. He already knew he had said too much.

"Until when?" I urged him on.

He leaned toward me and opened the car door. He no longer looked at me in the eyes. I stood for a moment not wanting to move but decided not to push it. I slowly got inside. He hesitated to shut the car door and I looked over at him. He was looking at the concrete.

"Not until I hated him."

I looked up at him confused and then he shut the car door for me. I dropped it. I didn't want to push it and make him even madder at me.

*Rupert*

_When Almighty God made me bury the only woman I ever loved. When he took you away…_

*Jenny*

He did that thing in the car again where he didn't talk to me. However, he was going to get a load of me today. I had already had a set plan in my mind about how I was going to get him to trust me. To trust me when I tell him that I trust him.

"You know… growing up, I wasn't much of a Christian either. I know the gypsy beliefs are not too far out from the Christian branch but I think that growing up I was too focused on my parents."

He continued to drive as fast as his old Citroen would let him. Which was about below normal speed for most cars.

"Why your parents?" he asked. No noticeable tone in his voice other than curiosity.

"They died."

He paused, "Oh, Jenny I'm …"

"Sorry?" I laughed, "So is everyone else that finds out. They were killed when I was five by some Gaje."

"Gaje?"

"Oh… that's like gypsy speak for a non-gypsy." I shrugged.  _Interesting, Romani… a language Rupert didn't know._ "Anyway, these people were not a fan of gypsies. Then again, who is really? I mean the second largest victims from World War Two were gypsies but nobody really cares enough to teach about it, and hey, even I'm a gypsy and I hate them."

One of his hands left the steering wheel and reached out for mine. I half smiled. I entwined my fingers into his warm hand. I was a little bit hesitant to continue, and decided to keep quiet until we got home.

(At the C0ND0****)

"Would you like to hear one of my embarrassing stories?" I asked as soon as we got settled in back at home.

"Jenny…" he breathed, "I don't think…"

 _I knew what he was going to say… and it was pointless, so_  I continued.

"When I was growing up in elementary school, I was so into the tomboy thing that some kids actually were convinced that I was a boy…" He remained quiet and I sat next to him on the couch without getting to close.

Still, he started to notice that I wasn't going to leave him alone today.  _Nah, I left him alone yesterday… so he's not getting off easy today._

"Jenny…"

"A girl even asked me out."

He was silent and looked at me funny. I laughed feeling like such a dork, and entirely embarrassed for telling him. When I knew I had his attention, I continued.

"I turned her down. Don't worry." I smiled, but my cheeks flaring up, "But that is when I realized I wanted to pull myself more together… to be more of a… girl."

"What did she say when she found out?" He asked interested.

"She didn't believe me until I showed her that I was wearing pink socks. Then she called me weird, threw a rock at me, and ran away. I was eight." I couldn't stop smiling and to put hands over my face to cover my embarrassment.

"Well, you must be as pretty as a man as you are a woman."

I spread my fingers out over my eyes to look at him and laughed, "Shut-up Rupert."

I saw him chuckling too. When I recovered from reliving my embarrassing moment, I moved on to my next embarrassing story.

"In seventh grade, I had this odd ball dream of becoming an author. So when I tried explaining things, I tried to be as detailed as I possibly could. It was ridiculous really…" I glanced at Rupert and he was all ears. "So one day I was really excited about this… experience… I had, and couldn't wait to tell my friend. So I wrote her a note during class trying to be as detailed as I possibly could. The teacher caught me of course, and she read it out loud." I flinched remembering how horrible it was.

"What was your note about?" he asked, not understanding my cause for a flinch.

"I wrote about my first kiss." I flinched again remembering the memory. Embarrassment had rushed through my face and the emotions I remembered feeling at that moment, came back and haunted me. Rupert didn't laugh like I expected he would.

"What did it say?" he asked.

I shrugged, "I don't remember. I tried to erase it from memory. I just remember kids laughing and Lou, the boy in my class, turning almost redder than me with all the… details."

"What kind of kiss was this?" his tone was defensive.

"Rupert! I was in seventh grade! I wasn't making out with the kid… I just tried to explain every little detail. I swear it was just a peck on the lips." I laughed, "That moment obliterated my dream of wanting to become an author."

"Oh…" he said sarcastically, "So it was a  _boy_  this time…"

I gasped in surprise, "Rupert…" I shoved his knee off the couch and he laughed.

"Sorry. Sorry." He tried to put a halt to his laughter. When he finally did, he continued, "Jenny… not that I'm not entertained, but why are you telling me this?"

"Because…" I looked him deep into his buoyant green eyes, and lost myself in them, "I want to show you that I trust you. With everything."

His buoyant eyes went dead. They lost all emotion, like if he suddenly remembered that he was mad at me and couldn't take back his playful laughs. "Oh." Was all he said.

I shook my head feeling just as embarrassed as my stories. "Trust me." I practically begged. "I love you."

*Ralph*

I sent Nancy home and finally got back home myself. First thing I did was run to the phone. I finally decided that I couldn't go much longer without listening to Jenny's voice. I realized that waking up this morning and accidently called Nancy, 'Jenny'. That was… awkward. I missed Jenny more and more when I was with Nancy because it kept reminding me of what Jenny and I could be if she wasn't with Rupert.

I dialed in her number and the line began to ring. I waited. I watched the map I set out on the floor for the vengeance demon, but it was still colorless.

"Hello?" a sad voice answered.

"Hey, Jenny." I smiled, relaxed. "It's Ralph."

The line went dead.

I pulled on the phone cord and checked the wire, confused. I now heard the dial tone and tried her number again. It rang, someone answered, but just hung up the phone again. I was furious.  _This was important!_  I tried again, and wasn't going to give up.

"WHAT?" She shouted at me. Chills went down my back, and I realized what was going on.  _She told him._

"I-I-I-I h-heard some important information f-f-from… Damian, my brother."

She didn't say anything. She just waited. I continued feeling rather worried and suddenly vulnerable.

_Is he coming after me?_

"W-well… m-my brother predicted a Pandora's box type thing is about to surface." I whipped away some sweat from my head, "Is Rupert coming after me?"

She seemed taken aback that I knew, but it didn't last long, "He should." Her tone was full of hate. "What do you mean Pandora's Box?"

"That's what I don't know." I admitted, "I do have a number for you to call and get Rupert into the action and check this thing out, but I don't know much other than a box that my brother called 'Pandora's Box', and whatever it opens isn't pretty."

"Why would your brother tell us this?" She asked suspiciously. Not one drop of hate faded from her voice.

"Apparently he wants you dead… not the world."

_Oops… I didn't mean it like that…_

She said nothing.

"I have the number. You ready?" I continued.

I could feel her sadness through the phone, "Yea."

She wrote it down as I gave it to her. She didn't say thank you. I didn't expect one.

"Are… are you okay?"  _I had to ask._

The line went dead.

*Jenny*

I whipped away a tear and slammed the phone back onto the receiver. Just then I heard the water stop running from the second floor. Rupert was down with his shower.

_Right. Box… must be something old… old stuff is always the evil stuff. Okay… I need a fake name. Fake name, fake name, fake name… How about the name of my first kiss? "Lou Tabor" … of … of … something official. The Washington Institute! Nothing official is older than good old George Washington._

I dialed the number, and the ringing on the line was intimidating. I choked up on my voice and waited for an answer.

"Hello this is Doug Perren, expert on obscure relics, how may I help you?"

 _What was my name? Oh… right._ "Hello Doug. This is Lou, expert of uh… authority and liberty, and… government stuff…" I swallowed my words and continued strong, "I work at the Washington Institute."

For a moment the line was silent, I sweated like a pig.

"Oh! Hello! For a second I thought you were a prank caller…" he laughed, "No, no… I know the Washington Institute… but uh, what do you need?"

"I-I understand you have uncovered something our institute is interested in… an obscure relic of some sort."

"What?" he asked confused, "What are you talking about?"

_When Ralph said his brother predicted it, did that mean it hadn't happened yet?_

"Oh, uh…"

I suddenly heard yelling on the other line. "Doug! Doug!" I tried my best to listen to the conversation on the other line but it was only murmurs.  _I think I blew the only chance I had at this!_

He finally talked back into the phone, "H-how did you know about the relic? My employee just informed me right now."

_Oh THANK GOD!_

"I have friends in the business." I tried to keep my voice believable. "They call me before they call you. That's how important this… uh… obscure relic is."

"Wow. I had no idea." He said, "Well, you still haven't answered what you want."

"Right well," I coughed, "One of my best men works down there in Sunnydale and he is phenomenal in the obscure relic department. The best authority in obscure relics that I have ever known in the history of forever, and I need you to give him a call. He will update me with what is going on, and help you uncover the mystery of this uh, relic." I felt a hand land on my shoulder and jumped back.

"Ah! ..oh.. it's you."

_It was just Rupert._

"What?" said Doug over the phone.

"Uh… I said, and your paycheck won't be affected."

"Jenny what's going on?" Rupert asked.

"-Oh that does sound nice."

Too many people were talking to me at once. I walked away from Rupert so I could focus on the call.

"What did you say your name was?" Doug asked.

"Lou… Lou Tabor. Wait… why?"

"I wanted to tell this guy what you thought of him." He sounded sincere. "If he is as good as you say he is, then I'll give him a ring. What's his name and number?"

"His name is Rupert Giles. And my assistant here will give you the number."

"Okay."

I pulled the phone down from my ear and looked back at Rupert. He was watching me confused.

"Give this guy your home phone number."

"Why?" he whispered.

"I'll tell you later." I rushed.

He took the phone from my hands without hesitation and played the part of my assistant. When he gave him the number, he hung up the phone.

"Okay Jenny…" he eyed me, "Why did I just role play as your assistant?"

"Well, uh… surprise… there is a new evil in town."

"Figured." He shrugged. "What do you know?"

I walked around him a bit uncomfortable that I had to explain that Ralph called, but his attention followed me.

I took a deep breath, "Ralph called…" I looked at the floor away from Rupert, "and his brother predicted the unveil of some Pandora's Box type thing. He doesn't know what it does, but he knows it's dangerous. He gave me the number of a Doug Perren so we could get you to go check it out, see what it's all about."

"Ralph's brother predicted this?" he asked confused.

"Yea. Wants me dead, not the world… apparently."

I looked at Rupert and his eyes were full of sorrow for me.  _How could he look at me like that when he can't even bare to talk to me?_ He looked as if he was about take a step toward me but the phone started ringing. It had to be Doug. He answered the phone and I ran up stairs and sat on the edge of the bed trying to figure things out. How could Rupert want to be with me, and not want to be around me? It made no sense.

_I was still determined to earn back his trust. I needed to. But I can never tell if I have or not. He's … confusing._

When the call with Rupert finished, I heard the phone ring once again. He answered it. I was afraid that it was Ralph and I listened in.

"Hello? …Oh! Hey Buffy! Are you alright?"

_Thank God, it's Buffy._

"Yea, I'm fine." He continued, "I have to warn you that the number of vampires I faced in the past two days, they seem to be increasing."

 _Angel._  I figured Buffy and I would have the same thought.

"Yes, it could be." He started to hesitate, "Uh… well, I have faced… er… two vampires in the past two nights. But remember that we have hardly had any vampire action in the past two weeks. Just demons. So two vampires is the call for an alarm."

_Two vampires? …We faced five!_

"Right. Glad you understand. Keep your guard up. Be careful tonight. "

When his phone call was over, he came up stairs and leaned against the doorway at the entrance to the room. He looked at me with curious eyes beneath his glasses and his hair was still a little wet from his shower. He was already in his pajamas.

"Two vampires?" I asked confused.

"I had to lie to her." He sounded tired, "She would never believe I faced four…"

"Five."

"…Five vampires on my own."

When he looked from me to the floor I was so frustrated that he was going to come up stairs and not talk to me again.  _Did he think it was okay to tease me like that?_

I rolled my eyes standing from the bed. "I'm going to go patrol."

"Buffy's patrolling." He barely whispered.

"I'll keep my distance. She won't see me." I grabbed a jacket and tried to make my way around him down the stairs. Just as I was about to leave the room, he grasped my wrist. I turned back to look at him. He was still looking at the floor.

"She'll see you. I advise against it."

Frustrated. I stood there just looking at him, so mad that he wasn't looking at me. I yanked my wrist from his grip and turned back to the room.

"Fine! Then I'll just go take a shower… because that's what everyone is doing nowadays to avoid each other!"

I couldn't believe what I had just said and headed straight for the bathroom slamming the door behind me. I forced the jacket off my back and threw it against the bathroom wall. I was so flustered. I had never been so embarrassed, so mad, and I hated knowing that I brought this onto myself.  _Why do I keep screwing up? Why can't I just do the right thing for once in my life?_

I bent down on my knees and laid over my legs. My head was touching the cool bathroom tiled floor, and my arms were stretched out over my head. I cried.

_Please God. Let me do something right. Please._

*Xander*

"Thanks for letting me tag along Buffy." I said doing my best to catch up with her.

She looked like a cat on the prowl. Something was distracting her tonight… and I had a good guess why.  _Angel._  He was making her edgy. Ever since Ms. Calendar's death, we've all been edgy about the guy. Well, I've always been edgy about him…  _he disappears too much. It's creepy._

She told me about the phone call she made to Giles. He faced two vampires in the past two nights. Small number maybe, but since we haven't had much vampire action at all in what feels like a month, then if vampires are making themselves known… something is going down. Buffy's guess was the same as mine…  _Angel._

"No problem. Just don't die."

"You always tell me that when we're out patrolling." I said stumbling over a rock.  _Wait that was a snail…_  "What is that? Like the slayer code for something?"

"Exactly… it means if I die, you live and run and warn the others that something bigger than me is lurking about."

"That's me. Messenger boy."I smirked, "Or, I could just bring you back to life… I have a knack for that too."

Buffy laughed. "So what's on your mind Xander? You sounded like you wanted to talk about something…?"

"Yea." Buffy sat herself on a tomb stone and I did the same. "It's Giles. Are you sure he won't turn up to patrol tonight?"

"Yea, he patrolled the past two nights and on the phone he didn't sound like he wanted to come. He sounded tired. He seems to be a little distracted lately…" she added.

_Yea… like you._

"Exactly. Don't you think he's hiding something?" I asked, "Like hiding a really big juicy secret and not telling us because he doesn't think we can handle it?"

"Well, now that you mention it… no." She shrugged, "It's Giles. What would Giles be hiding? Overdue library books? A cup of tea after bed time?"

"Yea, but see, we thought that about him before too and he ended up having this secret teenage 'world destruct-o' phase in his life that he forgot to mention! He's not acting suspicious to you… at all?"

"Xander." She started using that  _I know better than you_  voice, "Giles lost Ms. Calendar. We all did. He told me that she was the first woman he's ever loved that he had to bury. I just think he's going to take a while to cope. Remember the whole confusion with James the ghost, he thought it was Ms. Calendar. It's still got to be hard for him to adjust to it. We can't expect him to be a grown up about it all the time."

I kicked a rock and stuffed my hands into my pocket. I hated Buffy logic. It constantly over-ruled mine.

"What if he secretly had a girlfriend?"

She laughed, "Who would want to date Giles? No offence but if any girl had to deal with his dress attire and his 'English speak' everyday it would drive anyone crazy! They would need a Giles-translator. Besides… the whole watcher and slayer thing brings extra responsibilities which make things hard for us when it comes to secret relationships."

"And you've had great experience with that haven't you?"

She remained quiet.

"Sorry… it's just… Buffy I want him back."

"I know."

"What are we going to do?"

She took a stake out from her jacket pocket and jumped down from the tomb. Her hair flowed in the wind.

"I think the best thing for us to do is give him time, and be there for him when he needs us. He already knows we're always here for him. I think we mean as much to him, as he means to us. He'll come around. Duck!"

"What? Where?" I turned around and saw a vampire about five inches from my face. "AH!"

I bent down and shortly after I was coughing on dust. Buffy was scary good at this whole staking business. Then again, it's her job to be.

"Next time warn me before a vampire attempts to sneak up on me?"

"Warning!" she shouted, "Must be Angel's undead party…"

I turned and saw two vampires making their undead way to us. Buffy went for the closest one, so I made my way to the other.  _Without a stake… great._ I gave him a good punch to the mouth and he stumbled back.

"Buffy… " I squealed, "I'm having a  _bare_  fist fight if you know what I mean…"

The vampire picked me up and I tried my best to push away. He threw me against a tombstone, and my head hit stone hard enough to make me see that girl again.  _The girl that shared my pain_. She was just resting on a couch and felt the same blow to the head.  _Did I make this happen to her?_  It only happened to this girl when it happened to me, and so far as I know, not the other way around.  _But why was I playing with an imaginary detail in my head? It was probably just a side-effect of getting hit in the head of so many times_. That's all I saw of the girl before I snapped back and listened to Buffy kicking ass.

*Jenny*

"Ow." I whispered, rubbing the back of my head.

I was sleeping on the couch tonight. I let Rupert have the bed. I closed my eyes in pain and saw Xander again. He hit his head against a tombstone, and his clothes were getting grass stains from laying on the filthy graveyard ground. I was able to establish that he was safe with Buffy patrolling before I snapped back to reality.

The sound of a foot stepping on a loose floor board echoed in the quiet condo.

"You know… my uncle trying to explain to me PMS is a pretty funny story too," I said turning to look up at Rupert looking down at me from the staircase, "would you like to hear another embarrassing story? Or you just want to stand there and pretend like you're planning to talk to me, and then walk away?"

He didn't respond. So I continued...

"One thing I remember about my father… he always used to tell me, 'life has been lived a billion times and in a billion different ways, so make sure you grow up to do what you want to do.' And that's what I want to do Rupert. I want do whatever it takes to convince you that I trust you, but don't keep on pretending like your going to talk to me and walk away without saying anything. Go to bed." I remembered one of the things he told me and used it against him, "I'll I'm asking is for you to be a little bit considerate to the fact that I love you… whether your stubborn enough to believe me or not."

I turned around in the couch and tried my best to go straight to sleep. I heard him walk away in what felt like four hours later.

_I know what I need to do to get him to forgive me. I need to find that cure for Angelus. I know I was side tracked for a while, but I know I'll find it. I got to. Not just for Rupert, but for Buffy too._

*Xander*

"Nice try." Buffy said smugly.

A vampire came at her again with a swing. She ducked it and punched him in the face, in the gut, and again in the face which caused him to fall to the ground, dazed. The second vampire came at her again with a kick, but she blocked it with her arm, backhand punches him in the face, jabbed him in the gut and grabbed his arm, twisting it up high and forcing him to his knees in pain. The first ugly vamp rushed at her. Without letting go of the second one she cleanly jammed her stake into the other one's chest and he crumbles into ashes. Buffy turned her attention back to the one she was holding and punched him in the face, making him roll away.

"I want you to get a message to Angel for me. Tell him I'm done waiting. I'm taking the fight to him! You got that? Need me to write it down for you?"

I felt bad just watching, but there wasn't much I could do other than get in the way. I rubbed the back of my aching head.

The vampire charged her and she pulled him to the ground, immediately plunging her stake, turning him to dust.

"Alright, I'll tell him myself."

Buffy gave me a hand helping me up. I grumbled, "I'm good. Don't worry about me."

_Ow! My head still hurts._

"You know, you don't have to patrol with me."

I pointed to the pile of dust, "I had that guy under control until he resorted to fisticuffs." I stretched my neck "Oh! What is that, um... five vampires in three nights?"

"Yep. But no Angel."

"Are you, uh, really that anxious to come up against him?"

"I want it over with."

"I hear that."

_I don't want this to drag on much longer either. The longer it takes, the more we have no idea what Angelus and his blood-sucking minions are planning…_

"Oh, we better go." She breathed, "I haven't even started studying for finals yet."

"Oh, yeah, finals! Why didn't you let me die?"

"Ah, look on the bright side. It'll all be over soon."

"Yea." I nodded.  _I was going to threaten to call Ralph if Giles wasn't going to tell me. I was going to find out what was going on with him, and I was going to find out tomorrow. No more Mr. delayed-by-demon-activity guy._ "This will end soon."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT this is just a reminder that the scene with Xander and Buffy patrolling at the end of this chapter is actually the begining of the episode "Becoming Part 1". I donno if you guys are totally following how my story line works, but in case your interested, the intensity of "Becoming Part 1" is so close you can taste it! (The Becoming Part 1 is the second to last episode of the second season).


	22. Passion's Redemption

*Rupert*

"Rupert, I think your taking this too literal. Pandora's box can just be a symbol that represents something bad." Jenny argued.

"Something bad that can doom all of mankind…?"

"…Good Point. Don't open it." She reached out for the door to open it for me, "Don't forget to find me a sample of something from the box… dirt, rock, whatever… just so I can run tests and see what I can find." She opened the door and shoved me in, "I'll be waiting out here."

I didn't have time to say bye. She pushed me in and when I looked in the room I saw what looked like a massive rock covered in light brown dirt.

"Hello?" I announced, closing the door behind me.

"Rupert Giles?" said a short grown man walking his way over to me. His hands were covered in a bit of rock and he whipped it on his brown suit before shaking my hand.

_I smiled. He knew my name because of my crazy Jenny._

"Yes." I reached out my hand to shake his.

"Doug Perren. Thanks for comin'." He had a firm grip. He was excited about this relic. It was easy to tell.  _I liked him already._

"Oh not at all… I was flattered to be asked."

"I spoke with Lou Tabor at the Washington Institute and he told me we had the best authority on obscure relics, right here, in Sunnydale." He sounded almost surprised.

I laughed.  _I can't believe Jenny did this. She's amazing. He was totally falling for it._

"Well," I admitted, "He may have, uh, exaggerated a little."

He shrugged. I was so taken by how big this "box" was. It didn't look like a box, rather it looked like a giant bolder.

"Ah… is this the…"

"This is our baby." We walked toward it. Two or three people were working on dusting the grime away. They were deep into their work. "Construction workers dug it up outside of town. Don't have a clue what it is. Any ideas?"

Hesitantly I reached out to touch the edges. The rock hadn't seemed too sturdy, so it was easy to get a sample. "A-a few. But none I'd care to share until I can verify. You have carbon-dated it?"

_I need to know how old this thing is._

"Results will be back in a couple of days." He shrugged, "I'll go out on a limp and say  _old_."

It took me a second to laugh at his sarcasm. I was busy looking for how in the world this bolder was a open-able box. "Erm. It certainly pre-dates any settlements we read about." I said reaching over for a small clear glass cup and a metal pin to poke at the rock to scratch off a sample for Jenny. "Um… may I?"

"Yea sure…" he seemed interested in every little thing I had to say and do.

I began scratching at the rock in a spot that looked to be the possible fold for an opening. Dirt piled into the cup, and sure enough, it was able to be opened. A tomb of some sort, I figured.

"I assume you've… you haven't tried to open it?"

_If I could hardly tell, then how could he possibly know?_

"Open it?" he thought I was crazy. I motioned toward the parting in the rock and he couldn't believe it, "Well, I'll be dammed. I figured it was solid! What do you think is in there?"

_Something evil apparently. Not just referred to as "Pandora's Box" because it's meant for a pretty little girl._

"I don't know."

"Well, I guess we won't know until we open it."

"Yes, Could I ask… erm… could you wait?"  _Don't open it until I can verify that it's just a tomb. Don't want evil spewing out at every corner of the earth because we didn't read the label._ "I'd like to work on translating the text. It might give us an indication of… what well find inside."

"You don't want to be surprised."

"As a rule. No."  _Not this kind of surprise._

"All right. You're the expert. But I'm pretty damn curious though."

I took off my glasses and continued to look at the rock, "Yes. Yes so am I."

_What could be in this rock?_

"Do you mind if I take this with me?" I asked holding up the jar of dirt.

"Go right ahead. And I don't mean to rush you, but I'd really love it if we could open it up soon." He smiled, "Curiosity makes me a bit anxious."

_And every second more, this is starting to sound like the "Pandora's Box" Myth._

"Of course." I said about to make my way out. "I'll get right on it."

"I'll give you a call if anything new comes up." He waved good-bye. "And I'll fax you the text we uncovered on the rock soon."

I waved bye with a smile, and let myself out. He was a nice fellow.

Jenny stood from the waiting room chair and took the jar from my hands. Her hair was beautiful on the tips of her shoulders, and she wore jeans and a loose black tank top that continuously drifted down off her shoulder. She hadn't made eye contact with me for the longest time so I was not scared of her catching me looking at her. She was mad at me too, and I knew it. But I just didn't know if I trust that she loves me.  _Why would she love me?_ It made no sense.

"Thanks."

"No problem." I said so badly wanting to touch her hair. I continued with work to distract myself as we headed out the building. "It looked like a giant rock. Thankfully they hadn't, and they won't open it up until I give them the signal. It had writing all around it but it was too old of a relic for me to decipher what kind of language it was. I need to wait for him to get back the carbon-dating, which might take too long. He's eager and I don't blame him. If I could open it up and end this intense waiting right now, I would. But curiosity ruined Pandora. I won't let it ruin our world."

Jenny laughed like if she had some inside joke with herself, "I'm not as smart as you… well, that's obvious since you're like an encyclopedia with legs but Rupert…" she pulled on my arm, stopping me in my tracks. When I looked her in the eyes, she continued, "I'm going to let curiosity ruin me before you do. Why are you mad at me? Do you really still think I don't trust you?"

"Jenny - "

"No Rupert! I need to know!"

I could hear the tears in her throat. I took off my glasses and rubbed the space between my brows with my thumb.

"I'm not mad at you…" I admitted.

"What?"

"I'm not mad at you. I just don't believe you love me."

"I can't believe you!" she said backing away from me, "This is about age again isn't it?"

I didn't respond still rubbing away at my glasses.

"I'd give away five years of my life if that would make you happy!" she cried, "Would you like me to find a spell that can do that for you?"

"I'm not five years older Jenny…"

"I don't care!"

"I'm thirteen years older!" I shouted. I hated how that sounded.

"Oh Woopdy Doo! I! Don't! Care!" she emphasized every word, "I love you! Take me to the library so I can find an aging spell."

"No." I reached out for her wrist to stop her route to the car.

She tightly yanked the wrist from my grip, "No!" she repeated. "How else do you expect me to show you that I love you? You wish I were older, fine, I'll be older!"

"Your father…" I said and she froze, "he said that life has been lived a million different times, and in a million different ways, so make sure your living life the way you want to live it. How do you want to live your life Jenny? By throwing away years of your life?"

"No." she turned back toward me, "I want to live my life with you. If I need to throw away years of my life to be with you, then yea, that's what I want to do so I can be with you. I also want to live my life finding redemption for all my past mistakes… and you Rupert, are not one of my mistakes. And lastly, I want to live my life saving the world for all these same reasons. I'd get to fight alongside you, it might just bring me redemption, and it just makes me feel really good. I've given this a lot of thought Rupert! I know that I love you!"

"Do you also know that I love you?" I asked finally putting my glasses back on my nose. Now I could clearly see how many tears she's cried: plenty.

"Do you really want me to tell you that 'I don't love you' and walk away so you can happily live the life you had before you met me?"

"Of course not! But - "

"Then yea," she interrupted, "Then I know that you love me."

I felt the truth in her words for the first time. Actually… I think this is the first time she admitted to me that she knows I love her. I liked when she said it. I couldn't help but smile. That's all she needed to say and I trusted her again. She hadn't needed to tell me her embarrassing stories; she just needed to believe that I love her. Her embarrassing stories just made me fall for her harder.

"How do you want to live your life Rupert?" she asked after a long silence.

"I want to help people - "

"That's just the watcher talking. What is it that you want…"

"No Jenny, it's not the Watcher talking. That's me. The Watchers Council only wants to prepare the slayer and make sure she is fit enough to help people, but they don't realize what's best for her. She's just a girl. I want to live my life being the one that helps people… not prepares them. I want to fight alongside Buffy. I want to fight alongside you." She looked up at me with dry eyes.

"Tell me you love me." I insisted desperately.

"I love you! But what difference is that going to make? You don't - "

"I believe you."

She wiped away any remaining tears on her face and looked at me confused, "What?"

"I believe you." I repeated.

A gorgeous smile spread across her features, "Really?"

I nodded pulling her against me for a hug. She fit perfectly into my arms. I felt like I hadn't held her in so long, so I let this one last.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." She spoke into my chest.

"I know." I confessed, "But you were right. Love is about learning, and we learned."

I finally got my chance to run my fingers through her hair and appreciated every precious moment of it. This is exactly where we needed to be; wrapped in each other.

"I love you Rupert."

"I love you Jenny."

I reached out for her hand and walked over to the passenger side of the car. As I pulled the door open, it's hinges started screeching. It's hinges were rusty and the car itself looked older than anything else I seen on the road. But then again,  _I guess age didn't really matter._ I laughed.

*Jenny*

Rupert and I were finally whole again. I felt like I should be wearing a "Team Rupert" shirt because he was a cause worth fighting for. I loved him, and I loved that he wasn't mad at me anymore. It felt right. And now I could focus on other important matters. The only thing I needed to find now was the only thing Buffy specifically told me to do before I died. The only thing she wanted, and the only reason she'd forgive me; Angel's cure.

Rupert helped me out by giving me books to thumb through when he came across some useful ones while he was on his hunt researching ancient texts or tombs identical to our mysterious "Pandora's Box." He even researched Pandora's myth but that only turned up as fruitless as the other theories. However, Pandora was our only lead since the myth could possibly be as old as our "Bolder box."

Rupert researched out in the library and I in his office. Sometime during the students lunchtime, I discovered the spell that would change my life completely.

_That is… if it does it's job correctly._

It was called the "Saint Anthony's Charm", referring to the saint that was known for locating lost items. The spell achieved just that. I had to start by drawing a picture of my lost item, so I drew the yellow floppy disk. With one hand on the drawing, next had to remember exactly how it felt, what it looked like, and what it smelt like the last time I had it. Since that memory was attached to the traumatizing event of my death, it wasn't hard to forget. Now I had to chant the Saint Anthony's prayer:

"Blessed be God in his Angels and his Saints,

O Holy Saint Anthony,

Gentlest of saints,

Your love for God and charity for His creatures,

made you worthy, when on earth,

to possess miraculous powers.

Encouraged by this thought,

I implore you obtain for me the yellow floppy-disk I seek that holds in it the secrets of unlocking a man's trapped soul.

O gentle and loving Saint Anthony,

Whose heart was ever full of human sympathy,

Whisper my petition into the ears of the sweet infant baby Jesus,

Who loved to be folded in your arms; and the gratitude in my heart will be yours.

Amen."

I opened my eyes and a little yellow ball of light floated before me. I couldn't breathe.

_Was this really happening? Was I about to discover the one chance I had at winning Buffy's forgiveness?_

"You sound like your praying." Rupert said from behind me.

I turned to face him and the bell rang signaling that it was time for sixth period. The last period of the day.

"When this is done," I said excitedly, "I will be."

After the tardy bell rang, I ordered the ball of light to lead me to where I needed to go. I ran after it following the glow hallway after hallway. No students were in the hallways to see me, and no worries entered my mind. Before I realized the light was leading me down a similar route taken the night I died, I realized that it hovered currently over the staircase I was murdered.

The glowing light waited for me and hesitantly I made my way up the steps. Step after step, my fear grew. Breath after breath, I had to continue to remind myself that I'd soon be taking another. When I reached the light, I froze. It didn't move. Apparently, this is where I needed to be.

"There is no disk." I whispered to it and looked around to make sure.

"When you look into your heart," a heavenly angelic voice echoed around me, "You can see her. Be prepared Jennifer. You will soon learn that this is only the beginning of your destiny. The power you hold is meant for your heart."

"Power?" I questioned. That's the second time I heard that about me, but now this echoing voice made it sound more convincing than Ralph and his brother, "What power?"

"Look into your heart…"

The floating light from in front of me flew straight and deep into my eyes blinding my vision. The force had enough of an influence to knock me to the ground. I tried my best to rub it out of my eye, and tried not to sound like I struggling. If I screamed or yelled, that would worry any nearby classes. When I let my body relax and stop fighting the mass of light, I was soon able to open my eyes and discover that I was sitting in my classroom next to Willow.

"Woah, Déjà vu." I said.

 _Only, it wasn't me that said it._ I had a sudden head rush and found that now I couldn't control my own actions. Someone else was controlling them. I was somebody else. I was in someone else's mind.

"Really?" Willow asked curiously beside me.

"Yea…" I could tell by my voice exactly who I was. I was in Buffy's mind. "I have a perfect memory of the pencil and…" She let the pencil drop from her hand, roll off her Chem book, and fall between the desk. When she reached down to grab it I realized that I was not having a flashback, or a prediction. What I was watching happen, was happening right now.

"Oh… hey," Buffy said pulling out a bright yellow disk along with her pencil, "You dropped this."

"It's not mine, might be something of Ms. Calendar's."

I couldn't believe what I saw. I couldn't believe what I was watching. The girls did it… they found the disk!

Willow took the disk from my hand and inserted it into the computer.

"This feels kinda morbid." Buffy admitted.

_No it's not! I promise!_

Willow looked in "our" (Buffy and my) direction with a smile, "I've gone through most of her files all ready."

"Does that make it  _less_  morbid, or you  _really_ morbid?" Buffy asked wickedly.

I watched the computer screen as the program from the disk started and suddenly the Romanian text appeared in the left hand window. As I watched this process for a second time, I was just as excited as I was watching the text translate a first time.

Willow sighed, "I had to, to teach her class."

The loading bar began to zip across the screen.

"Relax Will, I was making with the funny."

When the loading bar was complete and the English translation appeared in the right window on the screen, I was in a state of pure shock.

_I did it!_

Buffy leaned closer to the screen. I felt her body tense, "Does that say 'restoration'?"

"It's one of her spells, I think." Willow looked from the computer screen to Buffy, "Ms. Calendar wasn't a practicing witch, but she did dabble…"

_Willow… look at the screen!_

"Willow…" Buffy interrupted.

The both read more of the curse I founded to restore Angel's soul. Willow quickly realized what they found.

"Oh boy…" Willow breathed.

_Oh God…_

"Oh boy…" she repeated.

_Oh shit…_

"Oh boy…"

_Oh girl…_

I closed my eyes and soon found myself on the filthy floor on the Sunnydale High School Staircase. The place of my murder and the place of my re-birth. I looked around now able to move on my own. I sat myself up and relaxed for a moment to slowly soak up the fact that I have just spotted my…

"Redemption." I smiled.

*Xander*

 _Was Giles, "I'm going to the bathroom" stunt just another way to avoid me?_  I didn't care. I was going to sit right here and wait for him in the library. I was going to end this now, once and for all. I all ready had it planned out in my head:

I was going to come down to the library during sixth period.  _Mental check… already there._  Then I would ask Giles _nicely_ again about his girlfriend. If he refused to speak, I'd threaten to ask around town, starting with Ralph. It was pretty obvious that they don't get along well anyway. I had no doubt in my mind that if it had come down to me asking Ralph, I'd know he'd tell me exactly who the girl was.

I wasn't black-mailing Giles. Black mailing inferred that I was planning to tell somebody. I wasn't going to tell anybody. I've had my fair share of, uh… secret… relationships, well just that one with Cordy so even I can understand why he is hiding it. However, I felt that if he opened up and told us who he was dating, that would be the first step to getting our best friend back. Ever since Ms. Calendar died, he's closed himself off from us. Part of me doesn't even understand why or how he could open up to some girlfriend he found rather than his best friends.

I was, however, prepared with a few theories:

Was she a vampire? A hooker? Both? Was he attempting to continue the romantic plans that Ms. Calendar's murder shude-ly interrupted?  _Scary place. Scary place._

I felt like a detective with many over-thought scenarios, but when reality hits me, I realize this is Giles we are talking about. Giles… our school librarian!

The words Buffy told me last night still rang in my head,  _"you can't expect Giles to be a grown-up about it all the time."_  Buffy was right. So I couldn't argue. Ms. Calendar's murder was one of the biggest deaths that effected all of us because we knew her. She was our friend.

Another hard death for me was my friend Jesse. I remember looking straight into his vampire face un-accepting that he was dead. I remember thinking that we wouldn't get to talk about hot babes anymore, I wouldn't get to watch his silly infatuation with Cordy, and I wouldn't be able to sneak out to his house every night to watch movies and escape the demons I call "Mom and Dad". I remember thinking that, and I couldn't accept that.

What if that is what was happening to Giles? That could easily be the case! With his freak out over James, the ghost guy, he was totally sure and confident that it was Ms. Calendar. He can't accept that she's gone. Giles, like me, is never going to want to believe that his best friend is dead. It's been longer than two months since the murder but it still hasn't hit him yet. Does he need someone to shout at him? …To rub reality in his face?

 _Giles I miss Ms. Calendar too but she's dead! Ms. Calendar is gone!_  I got carried away in my imaginary fight with Giles.  _Nothing is ever going to bring her back! No… don't walk away from me! You have to accept this! Ms. Calendar is dead! Dead, dead, dead! Can't you hear me? Ms. Calendar is…_

"Rupert! We did it!" A voice yelled excitedly, "They found the cure!" The person barged into the library and both doors swung wide open. The drastic surprise made me jump up from my chair.

… _Alive?_


	23. The Night We'd Always Remember

***Jenny***

_Opps…_

"Ada… ub… beh… you… huh?" Xander babbled confused.

_Exactly how I'm feeling._

"When did I doze off?" he said looking at the floor, "Wake-up Xander!" he slapped himself, "Wake-up Xander!"

"Xander, you're not sleeping!" I said running up to him to try and get him to stop hitting himself.

"I'm not?" He was shocked when he noticed I was able to grab his arm. His eyes widened with surprise, "I'm not!"

"No… no you're not." I assured him. I was glad I had gotten him to stop hitting himself.

"Oh thank God!" he laughed, "because if this was a dream soon enough you wouldn't be wearing…" he paused, "Uh… I think I'm going to stop talking now…"

"Good idea!" I agreed nodding impatiently.

"If I'm not sleeping… and you're not a ghost…" he said studying me, "Then how are you here?"

I thought about it, "Short version… or long version?"

"I don't really care… I just can't believe…" his hand reached out and caressed my cheek. I saw the tears forming in his eyes. He laughed, "Ms. Calendar…"

 _I smiled. I couldn't believe that this was really happening either._ We embraced each other with hug. I bit my tongue to hold in the heavy tears.

"I can't wait to tell the others!" he said pulling away and wiping away his tears.

I panicked. "No! You can't do that!"

"What?" he thought I was joking, "Why not? They'd be so excited to have you back!"

"Xander, Xander please! You don't understand. Please don't tell a soul!"

Something in his head clicked. He looked away from me and took a step to the side. His arm reached up and he scratched his head.

"And Giles knew about this?" he shrugged. I could tell in his voice that he was angry.

"Don't get mad at him." I moved back in front of him, "I told him not to tell. Please be mad at me… not him. Just please don't tell anybody, Xander!"

"Don't worry…" he looked up at me and rested a hand on my shoulder, "I won't tell… not until I understand what's going on. Exactly what did Giles do to bring you back…?"

"Oh, Giles didn't…" Xander listened intently, "Look… I don't know how much time I have… Buffy and Willow are going to be here any second. I'll tell you later, okay? I promise."

"Give me the short version now." He insisted. "Long version later."

I looked over my shoulder nervously hoping the door wouldn't open, "My clan, the Kalderash Gypsies, they-they did a spell… and it went wrong. They didn't know I was dead, they did a spell to find me, and it accidently brought me back to life."

"How long?"

"About two weeks ago…"

We both heard shuffling outside the library door and I squeezed Xander's hand. He nodded at me reluctantly assuring me he wouldn't tell anyone _… yet._  I ran into Rupert's office, closed the door, and collapsed myself into his chair. My heart was racing.

*Xander*

 _Those girls just don't stay dead now do they?_  I laughed to myself softly.  _Did that really just happen? Ms. Calendar… is she really hiding out in Giles office? Had she been hiding out in his office for the last two weeks?_ I wondered.

_Two weeks… she's been alive for two weeks! This is what Giles was hiding all along. It made more sense. Everything was clear now. And everything was unbelievable._

The shuffling outside the door were just some students walking outside the library getting to class. I had to make sure this was really happening. I had to make sure that Ms. Calendar was really alive. I walked towards Giles office and slightly opened the door. I slid my head inside and Ms. Calendar turned from her chair to look at me. She was crying, but she looked happy. She was real.

"I'm glad to have you back." I whispered.

That made her smile, despite the tears. She turned back around and rested her head on the desk. I closed the office door and headed back out to the library.

Emotions were racing high, and Giles was going to have an even more colorful conversation awaiting him than originally planned. Of course because of surprise recent events, the original plans have been rewritten. A new cast and script has been prepared.

_How can Ms. C expect me to not be mad at Giles? I understand that she told him not to tell us, but I can't be angry with her, she just came back from the dead! It's a miracle! Her travels must have just confused her. Why wouldn't she want to tell us she was alive?_

_Giles on the other hand knew about this. He was taking care of her all this time and never told us! He could have if he really wanted to, to assure Ms. C that it's not as scary as it seems. Is he the one that got it into her head that we wouldn't … accept her or something? The look on her face earlier when I told her about mentioning it to the others was frightening. I've never seen a human being so scared before in my life. I think Giles did this to her. I think Giles traumatized her to keep her to himself! Poor Ms. Calendar…_

My rage for Giles grew. I know Ms. Calendar told me not to but I couldn't help it. He lied to my face. He made me think that he was the one with the problem.

Just then, Giles walked into the library. The bell rang signaling the end. End of school.

I wanted to strangle him. I wanted to scream at him. He just looked at me rolling his eyes knowing what I wanted to talk about.

"What was it you wanted to talk about Xander?" He said making his way to his office.

I was silent. He opened the office door, and then paused looking back at me. "Just a moment…"

He walked inside his office and I could hear him locking the door behind him. Cordy walked in soon after. She looked tired, but I liked what she was wearing…

"Urg… I thought today would never end!" she said dumping her school bags in the chair next to me.

"It's not over yet." I reminded her.

"Maybe not… but school is." She shrugged suddenly sounding worried again, "Unless there is a new big bad and ugly in town… then I'd have more reading. Can I duck out on research today? I really just want one demon-less week."

"Sure sweetie…" I ran my fingers through her hair, "Bait is usually more appealing when she doesn't know what the heck is going on."

"Xander Harris, I can take care of myself."

"Oh really?"

"Yea." She nodded, "I remember this one guy was looking at my car and I think he wanted to steal it. I got right into my car and drove away."

"Well when we need advice on running away… we'll give you a call." I said sarcastically.

"Well, what is it you do Xander?"

_I find out everyone's secrets._

*Giles*

Jenny looked like she was sleeping, and I had to make my visit with her fast so Xander wouldn't get more suspicious then he already was. I walked up behind her and moved some hair behind her ear. She opened her eyes. They were pink, so I must have just waken her up.

"Sorry sweetie…" I said, "I didn't mean to wake you."

She suddenly sat up nervous. She scared me. Her eyes were wide and she looked at me a minute waiting for me to say something.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Rupert…" she smiled. "The cure… they found it! Buffy and Willow, they found it!"

"What?" I said surprised. She jumped up from her chair and I congratulated her with a hug. "Congratulations Jenny!"

I couldn't believe it. Jenny found what she was looking for. She found what she thought Buffy needed to forgive her. This meant so much for her, and I knew she was relieved to have finally found it. Maybe, just maybe, Jenny would soon be ready to tell the group of her return.

"Where is it?" I asked unaware of how hard my voice had gotten. I was swallowing tears.

"I think the kids are bringing it down now." She smiled, "Rupert calm down…"

I noticed my heart was racing and I had a huge smile that could not be removed from my face.

"No one is going to believe you have no idea what is going on if you walk out of here with a smile like that…" she said, "Calm down."

I laughed. My hand covered my face and I tried to stop. I laughed again. Before I could realize what was happening, she replaced the hand on my face with her lips. Her soft and tender lips. Her body pressed hard against mine and I could feel both of our excitement. When she pulled away, I was relaxed.

"Thank you." I breathed.

She smiled. Subtly her smile changed into worry, "Oh, Rupert… there is something else…"

"Giles!" I could hear Willow shouting from the library. She sounded anxious.

I gave Jenny a quick kiss.

"I'll be back soon Love."

I headed back out closing the door behind me, to meet the party. I knew what all the excited and worried faces were for and I had to try my best to pretend like I hadn't a clue.

*Xander*

"Willow… what is it?" Giles said coming out of his office, and making his way toward Willow.

_Acting like he wasn't hiding a dead person in the office. Well, previous dead person._

Buffy and Willow stood nervously next to each other searching for the right words. I too was a little interested in what was going on. Not that anything could be juicier than Ms. Calendar's return, but still, the girls had me curious.

Cordy and I sat at the table across from each other. Willow and Buffy had seemed as if they discovered something big.  _…Just like me._

_I wasn't sure Giles knew I had found out his big secret. Otherwise he'd be watching me from the corner of his eye._

"We were just in Ms. Calendar's room, studying..." Willow started, "And we came across this! The Ritual of Restoration. It will restore Angel's soul."

"What are you saying?" Giles asked.

"The curse…" Buffy held out a printout of the curse, "This is it."

"Looks like Ms. Calendar was trying to replicate the original curse. To restore Angel's soul again." Willow filled in.

_What? There is a curse to restore it? And she found it! Why hadn't Ms. Calendar told us this before she died... unless… it could be why Angelus… Oh my God…_

Giles took the print out from Buffy and stared at it. "She said it couldn't be done…"

_He almost sounded convincing, but he must have known about this all along. The others didn't seem to notice the small laugh in his voice._

"Well, she tried anyway… and it looks like it might have worked."

_I couldn't believe Buffy. She was more concerned with the fact that the spell could work rather than it was the reason Ms. Calendar died._

I reminded her… _"_ So he killed her… before she could tell anyone about it. What a prince, huh?"

I looked away.  _Was this why Ms. Calendar didn't want anyone to know she was alive? If somehow the message passed on to Angel, he'd want to kill her again because she knows how to cure him. Is that why Ms. Calendar looked at me so frightened?_ I remembered the look in her eyes and was suddenly furious again.

"This is good right? I mean, we can curse him again." Cordelia said hopeful.

Buffy started pacing, thinking.

"Um," Giles considered, "well, this, um… certainly points the way, but the ritual itself requires a greater knowledge of the black arts than I, I, I can claim."

_Was he going to tell us that Ms. Calendar had the knowledge that needed claiming? Was he going to tell us now that Ms. C was hiding in his office?_

"Well, I've been going through her files and researching the black arts, for fun, for educational fun…" Willow continued when Giles looked as if he were about to protest, "And I may be the person to work this."

Giles looked concerned, "W-willow… channeling… such potent magicks through yourself, it could open a door that you may not be able to close."

"I don't want you getting yourself in any danger, Will."

Willow looked at Buffy, "And I don't want danger. Big 'no' to danger, but I may be the best person to do this."

_Was Giles just going to stand there and let Willow hurt herself! What is wrong with these people! Were they even listening to each other!_

"Hi! For those of you who just tuned in," I got up unable to contain my frustration in a chair, "everyone in here is a crazy person."

_Oh, I'm going to keep Ms. C's secret, but I wasn't going to let these people forget what happened to her. She's frightened of this demon they are trying to cure!_

I walked to the end of the table,"So this spell might restore Angel's soul… well here is an interesting angel. Who cares?"

"I care."

 _Buffy cares… why am I not surprised._  The way she was fawning over him irritated me, "Is that right?"

*Giles*

"Let's not lose our perspective here Xander." I butted in.

_He doesn't understand anything…_

*Xander*

"I'm perspective guy. Angel's a killer."

"Xander…" Willow tried to calm me.

"It's not that simple." Buffy said breathlessly.

_I couldn't believe them! Did they remember what he did?_

"What?" I said disgustedly, "And all is forgiven? I can't believe you people!"

_Why was everyone against me! I was furious! Giles had his secret, Buffy was fawning over Angel like the selfish girl she is, Willow's trying to get herself hurt…_

"Xander does have a point…" Cordy added.

_And now Cody is agreeing with me! I can't take this!_

"You know, just for once I wish you'd support me…" I raised my voice at Cordy before I realized my mistake. My anger was confusing me, "…and I'm realizing right now that you were and I'm embarrassed, so I'm going to get back to the point," I looked back at the rest of them, "Which is that Angel needs to die!"

"Cursing Angel seems to have been Jenny's last wish." Giles argued.

"Yeah?" I said sarcastically, "Well Jenny's dead!"

_You lying SON-OF-A-BITCH!_

Giles approached me angrily and we yelled at each other.

"-Don't you ever speak of her in that tone again!"

"-Can't you hear what I'm saying?"

"Stop it! STOP IT!" Buffy shouted rushing to get between us.

The whole room got quiet and Giles and I had a short stare down.  _You're lucky Ms. Calendar got to me first,_ I thought at him as loudly as I could, _or else your secret would have been out in the open for everyone to know two seconds after walking through that door!_ When Buffy turned back to Willow, Giles paced away rather upset.  _Good!_

"What do you want to do?" Willow asked quietly.

Buffy sighed. "What happened to Angel wasn't his fault."

"Yea but what happened to Ms. Calendar is." I cut in still fighting for team 'Calendar'. They both looked at me in disbelief, "You can paint this any way you want. But the way I see it is that you wanna forget all about Ms. Calendar's murder so you can get your boyfriend back."

She looked at me surprised. She refused to listen to any more of this.  _She must have known part of me was right._  She walked out of the library and that is when I noticed that Willow was looking at me in the same manner. I couldn't take it from Willow so I turned back to the table and noticed Giles eyeing me as well.

_I could take it from Giles._

"Cordy." I said angrily, "You should go check on Buffy."

"I'll go with you." Willow said. She was mad and eager to get away from me.

Cordy nodded. She kissed me on the cheek, took her stuff and headed out with Willow. When Giles and I thought they were far enough away, we were quickly back at each other's throat.

"You have to got to stop acting like you think you understand everything Xander!" Giles shouted, "Try to consider other possibilities!"

"I think I understand more than you realize!"

"Xander… did you even consider that with Angel cured the world would at least be a safer place?"

"For who?" I stammered, "Ms. Calendar?"

"Don't you dare bring her into this!" He shouted with a finger in my face. "You don't understand anything! You have no idea what she wanted!"

"Don't I?" I laughed, "Well then, maybe I am wrong… so why don't we ask her, I mean, she's in your office!"

He was taken aback. His mouth stood agape and he took a step back. "You knew. You knew this entire time and you were just messing with me…"

"Don't act surprised. You're just mad because I found out your precious little secret…"

"Oh Xander I am mad about a lot of things right now… and that's hardly a concern compared to the others..." he took a couple steps back trying to restrain himself. "You indignant uncaring bas-"

"Rupert stop it!" Jenny said finally jumping out of the office, "God with all the shouting I wasn't sure who was still out here! Rupert, Xander knows…"

"Yea. Thanks… I figured that one out on my own."

"I'm sorry… I tried to tell you," she pulled at his arm, "But then Willow and Buffy came…"

"It's okay," he said turning to her with a hug a lightly kissed the top of her head, "I remember."

"What have you done to her!" I pleaded, "Look at her, she's scared of you!"

"I am not!" She pleaded looking at me angrily.

"That's it!" Giles said coming at me.

_Oopps… to many accusations at once…_

"Rupert!" she shouted. She grabbed his arm and was able to come between us. I heard a loud smack and couldn't believe my eyes. Ms. C had slapped Giles.

_Good for her…_

"Now listen to me both of you!" She said looking back and forth from me and Giles. Giles looked worried with a hand on his face were she had slapped him.

"Jenny… I'm sorry… I-I" Giles started.

"Shut-up Rupert! I forgive you. Xander is asking for it…" she looked at me, "Now the both of you! Xander I'm not scared of him and you need to calm down!"

"Yes mam..." I agreed a little scared.

"And Rupert…" she continued, "You calm down too! Xander doesn't understand what's going on so give him a break. He should be mad at me, but his emotions are clearly running to high so stop provoking him."

"Fine." He said taking a deep breath.

"Now let's go somewhere where we can discuss this privately like civilized people."

"Right well, since I'm the victim of this case… I vote my house." I said, "I don't want you guys pulling me into some sort of trap to make me forget this ever happened…"

"I'm not going to…"

"Fine." Ms. Calendar interrupted Giles.

He looked at her confused, "Jenny…"

"No Rupert, he's right. He needs to be some place familiar to him right now. I know if I were in his shoes I'd want the same thing. He just needs to be somewhere where it is easier for him to understand everything."

Giles looked at her, then took a deep breath and looked at his feet. "Fine… I apologize."

*Jenny*

"Yea… I could see why Ralph and you don't get along so well." Xander said. "You have anger issues and he has a big mouth…"

I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic, serious, or funny but it made Rupert interested none the less. He stood straight up looking away from me and headed toward Xander in a friendly, 'we've been buddies for life' sort of way.

"Actually… that's not a bad idea." Rupert said more uplifted from only a couple seconds before, "My votes for the hospital."

He put one arm around Xander's shoulder and looked at me with a gleam in his eye.

"Oh… no…" I said to myself.

"Sure… if Giles loses his temper and decides to turn my brain into mush… the useful doctors will be right there to put me back together again." Xander said sarcastically, "I don't think so Giles." Xander said getting out from under his arm, "I'd rather not tempt you anymore than I already have for you to rip me open…"

"That's too bad…" he shrugged, "I guess that place would have ended up with less talk and more action anyway. And then the police would have all those absurd questions about a murder…"

"Giles is scaring me." Xander whispered to me but loud enough so Rupert could hear it too.

_Xander must think Rupert is talking about him._

"Yea… that's because you both are acting like children. Xander's house…" I insisted, "Now!"

### At Xander's House###

At least Ralph had a way of bringing people together. The car ride with Xander and Giles was rather comforting compared to how they were at each other's throats earlier. When we arrived at Xander's house, we entered through his basement. He said he preferred to avoid his parents.

His basement held one faded couch, a tiny television, and a pink bean bag. Rupert and I took the couch, and Xander sat in his bean bag. I didn't ask why it was pink.

"Right… this is the questioning portion of the day." Xander said rubbing his hands together, "Wait… wait… I need a camera!"

"Xander…" I said rubbing my head, "What did you want to know?"

"Right. Well, these gypsies wanted you for some reason… why?"

I took a deep breath, "they aren't pleased… with me." I looked at my knees ashamed of myself, "They know Angel lost his soul, and they are mad because it was my job to make sure he kept it. That's why they sent me here in the first place..."

"They got mad at you because Angel had a happy?" he shrugged, "I guess they aren't the only ones…"

"Xander, please understand, I didn't know what…"

"I know." He said and I looked up at Xander as he continued, "I know that was not your fault. Angelus… that was not your fault. I believe you, and I believed you when you told us you didn't know what would happen."

"I told you these kids would believe you." Rupert raced his fingers through my hair.

_They still shouldn't forgive me._

"Of course we would." Xander said, "But why did you not want us to know?"

Rupert jumped in, "Because she didn't think you guys would forgive her. She's wants to make it up to Buffy. She promised me that she'd fill you guys in after we found the cure again."

"But Buffy and Willow found the cure and Ms. Calendar still told me not to spill the beans…"

Rupert looked at me confused. I sat up and tried to avoid looking them in the eyes.

"I couldn't do it Rupert." I admitted. "They can't know yet."

"Jenny, you did the impossible. You found the cure! Not to mention you caused the gender blender that saved the school from the ghosts, and helped Buffy by getting rid of the fish demons so she didn't need to deal with them."

"Wait… that was you?" Xander asked confused.

Rupert ignored him, "Jenny I don't understand why you would still think they wouldn't forgive you…"

"Because Rupert! I took away her love!"

"Jenny…"

I continued, "Had anyone ever taken you out of my life I don't think I could ever forgive them! How did you feel when Angel murdered me? Could you ever forgive him…?"

Rupert looked away from me silently. I knew he agreed with me but wasn't about to admit it.

"Your right…" Xander said. "But there is just one problem. It wasn't your fault."

"If I had never lied to you guys… this would have never happened!"

"No, if Buffy never jumped into bed with Angel then this wouldn't have happened…"

"Okay before we all start pointing fingers at each other," Giles jumped in, "let me tell you what I think. I agree with Jenny… it's not going to be easy to get Buffy to forgive her even though Xander is right, it's not her fault…"

"Rupert…"

"Let me finish. Besides that point, the news of Jenny's return will only add to the drama we have now. We have to deal with Angelus's cure and figure out what new destruction this bolder has to unfold…"

"There is an evil bolder?" Xander asked.

"Yea… it's new… just found out about it." I explained.

"Oh. Okay."

"I don't want Buffy to be too distracted right now. As her watcher and friend I think the best move is to wait and tell Buffy of Jenny's return after we settle this 'curing Angel business'."

"Which we are not doing right?" Xander asked, "That's not what Ms. Calendar wants …"

"Yes it is."

"Why? Angelus killed you!"

"And I killed Angel…" I shrugged, "It's only a fair trade."

"What has the vampire done for us other than… save the world with us once… and save all our lives a couple times…"

"You're not good at making strong arguments are you?" Giles asked.

"… They did kick me out off the debate club…" he admitted. "But …"

"I think you're out numbered Xander." Giles said, "But if it helps, you can feel free to murder him after he gets his soul back. When Angel has his soul… he'll be less likely to… to attack more innocent people which I believe is the best course of action…"

"How can you forgive Angel when he murdered her?" Xander said pointing at me.

"I don't forgive him. And I probably never will…" Rupert said, "But curing him is better than leaving Angelus loose."

Xander looked down. He had nothing left to say.

"Well, if this is done…" Rupert stood up, and grabbed my hand to help me up, "I need to go back to the library and start drawing conclusions about the, uh, 'evil bolder'."

"Yea…" Xander said sadly, "We're done."

I felt bad for him. All this news to suddenly be on his shoulders wasn't fair.

"I-I think I'm just going to stay here…" Xander continued, "I hope you don't mind my absence from research… I have a lot I need to digest."

"I understand." Rupert said, "Thank you Xander…"

"For what?"

"Not telling my secret."

"I didn't do that for you Giles…" he said looking at me.

"I know, but still, thank you."

"My pleasure." Xander said almost uncaring.

"Come on Jenny…" Rupert said, tugging on my hand.

I didn't move. I couldn't take my eyes off of Xander.

"Xander…" I said sincerely, "If you ever need anything… I'll always be here for you."

Xander struggled out of his bean bag and stood up in front of me. I gave him a big bear hug and he politely returned the favor.

"I know." He said to me, "In some way… I always figured you were watching over me."

*Rupert*

"We need an outside source, Rupert." Jenny admitted throwing a book down on the desk, "I think 'Pandora's Box' is leading us in the wrong direction. Nothing is turning up, and Mr. Curator sounds curious for some theories…"

"Fine." I replied putting down my useless book as well, "Let's just start with what we know."

"Big rock in the ground…" she yawned leaning back in her chair, "old writing on it, and there is something inside."

"It could be a tomb." I suggested. "Not necessarily an evil tomb… but the host could have been a trouble maker."

"But I thought we tried that theory…" she said pointing to her little jar of dirt on the table between us, "I ran tests to figure out what could be inside… and the dirt turned to stone."

"Well, many demons turn to stone…" I said reaching out for the jar to look at the stone it held, "This host could be a demon that turned to stone, but there is no way for sure to be sure of that unless we opened the tomb…"

"Which we don't want to do because it could be something else entirely." She finished, "Great. What are we supposed to do? Get a crowbar and cross our fingers?"

Just then the phone rang. I noticed Jenny about to get up from her seat, but she sat herself back down looking slightly disappointed. She realized that she can't answer my phones anymore and I felt bad because it shouldn't have to be that way. I had to leave her with her thoughts to answer the library phone.

"Hello, this is Rupert Giles." I said into the phone.

"Giles…" I could hear Buffy's voice on the other end. "Our friend Kendra's in town. She comes with a warning from her watcher. You at the library?"

"Yes."

"Okay. We are on our way. Assemble the scoobies, this sounds big."

"Buffy…" I called before she hung up the phone, "I think it be best if we leave Xander out of this one. I believe he still has a lot to… to think about from the conversation from this evening."

"Good idea. Sorry he was hard on you like that Giles…" she said soothingly, "He had no right to be so … menacing. That was deserved for me, not you. We can fill him in tomorrow."

"Should I call Cordelia?" I suggested.

"What would she do?"

"Good point. So when you say assemble the Scooby gang…"

"Call Willow." She finished.

"Will do." I agreed, "and Buffy do be careful. If there is something bad out, best to watch your back since it's already nightfall."

"Hey Giles I think your starting to doubt me," Buffy said sarcastically, "Nobody in their right mind would want to mess with two slayers at once. Kendra's got my back and I got hers."

"Just be safe." I pleaded.

We hung up the phone and that was my cue to quickly give Jenny a ride home. She was all ready prepared with her coat. She must have heard enough of the conversation to understand that the Scoobs were on their way.

"What is it?" she asked.

"With luck, Kendra's watcher can provide us with more information about this tomb. Her and Buffy are on their way here and I need to give Willow a call. First I believe we should get you home. You've been enough help for one day and even with you in my office, one of the two slayers is likely to sense a visitor hiding out."

"Wow. Kendra." She said and I followed her out the side door, "Haven't heard that name in a while. That's the second slayer right?"

"Yes."

"It's still crazy how that happened. It's like after all these centuries, they've broken the rule. And yet… part of me is surprised that it hasn't happened before."

"Buffy's special." That's what I had always told myself. It was true.

"Yea she is."

*Jenny*

Rupert had to get back to the library quickly so our goodbye's were cut short. Too short. When I had opened the car door, I leaned over to give him a kiss and it took all the energy I had to keep it short. I entered the house feeling tingly all over. Despite how dark it was, I was not the slightest bit tired. After Rupert's short kiss, the adrenaline had barely started making its way through my veins. My empty stomach headed straight for the kitchen until I remembered that we never have any food in the house. Instead I pulled out a random bottle of one of his fancy wines and poured myself a glass.

Looking over the kitchen counter, I imagined what life would be like in this house with him for the rest of our lives.  _Well, maybe not for the rest of our lives, but for a big chunk of it. Maybe one day we'll move out of this hellmouth, but until then, living with Rupert seems like it would be anything but hell._

_With Angel's cure finally uncovered and almost ready to perform, today felt like the perfect day. I was so close to making up for my mistakes with the Scoobs that I could feel the redemption at my finger tips. It was a tingly sort of feeling._

I looked at my reflection in the bottle of wine and thought about how much has changed in my life.  _I'd forgotten what it was like to have your own life to live, and make your own choices, but it felt amazing. When I was with Rupert, I finally felt like this life was mine. How was I supposed to thank him for giving me my life back?_

…  _Maybe by making the choice that tonight might just be a night we'd always remember._

*Ralph*

I can't say I was surprised when Nancy dumped me. She knew as well as I did that my mind was always on Jenny. We had to face it: She wasn't Jenny.

I hated Jenny for turning my life upside down. Going against everything I thought I knew. She even ruined my relationships and because of her I doubt I'll ever have one. As Nancy put it, "I seem distracted." Well, yea! Every day I'm reminded of Jenny in everything I do. When I go to work, I remember the only reason I wanted the job was to get to her. When my brother calls, he only reminds me of my duty to claim her. When I'm with Nancy it only reminded me of how much I wanted to be with her. And the stupid map in the way of my floor only reminds me of what I am failing to do for her. My life revolved around Jenny, whether I wanted it to or not. Yet, it felt right. Like if it was the right thing to do to help her. It felt good to be one of the good guys.

I loved that Jenny could make me feel this way. I loved that she made me feel like a good guy. I just hated when she reminded me that there was someone that was better.

Willy's had become my favorite bar in town. Full of demons, so it was easy for me not to be bothered. However the selection of booze was not all too great for humans, but after a while when one was drunk enough off cheap wine, what did it really matter what you were drinking? If it made you feel good… it was a favorite drink of mine.

Despite all the demons hanging around and my hobby of getting drunk, Willy took good care of me. I was one of his best customers that never hassled him for information. So there I was, getting wasted after getting dumped.

*Rupert*

I came home exhausted from information. Research, plans, fights, magicks, stoned demons, and possibly apocalypse. Nothing to do about it until tomorrow, but even then, when I knew what I had in this world that needed protecting, the adrenaline of tomorrow's events hit early. I wasn't planning on filling in Jenny on any of it. If the world was ending because Angelus had our 'evil bolder', which ended up being an apocalyptic demon tomb, she'd only blame it on herself that Angel was Angelus in the first place.

I just wanted to come home and relax with her. I didn't want to be reminded of anymore work, or evil. And I didn't want her worrying about it either. Nothing could be done about it until tomorrow. Until the Ritual of Restoration could be preformed.

It took me a second to realize as soon as I entered the house that all the lights were out. The only lights in the house, were flickering candles placed in various places around the house. I tensed. It could have just been the adrenaline racing through my veins but I remembered the last time I came home with a similar setting and it only brought me misery.

"Jenny!" I shouted. I dropped everything I had and ran to the stairs. "Jenny!" I shouted again and tears reconciled in my eyes.

I looked up and saw Jenny sitting on the top step of the stairs looking down at me crying waiting for what I had to say.

"Oh thank God." I huffed to myself.

I ran up the steps to her stepping on all the roses she laid out. One on each step. As I had gotten near the top, I noticed the floor had been a little slippery. She was sitting next to a pile of broken glass and it's content was washed over her feet.

"I dropped the bottle and I saw…" she hardly whispered, "I felt…"

She saw my nightmare. My haunted dream. She felt my misery.

"Shhh…" I said bending over to pick her up, "It's okay, you're here now. You're with me."

I lifted her from the step and carried her to the bed. She sat in my arms and cried. Her feet were wet but I could care less that her wet feet were on my bed. She was wearing one of my oversized sweat shirts and I hadn't cared to check if she was wearing shorts underneath. Her head tucked it's self under my chin and I felt her every sob.

"Did the bottle cut you?" I asked.

She shook her head still crying, "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry you had to see that Jenny." My fingers drifted through her hair, "and don't worry about the bottle, I can clean it up later. Just don't walk over there for now."

"I hate these flashbacks." She said angrily, "I hate that I died."

"Remember it's only temporary. It will go away soon for both of us." I said trying to sooth her. "Do… uh, do you er, want to talk about it Jenny? The flashback… it might make you feel better to get it out…"

She nodded hesitantly.

"Okay. I'm right here. You'll be okay, I promise. Start when you're ready." I said. I held her even tighter. I remembered with perfect clarity the flashback she was about to tell, and it wasn't pleasant. I was glad I had her to hold onto as she retold the memory.

###Jenny's Flashback###

Rupert let the bottle of wine slip from his hands. It shattered into hundreds of pieces by his feet and the wine dribbled down off the steps, but he paid no attention to it. He was distracted by the motionless creature that stared at him from the bed. Her eyes were glazed over and she had no noticeable movement of breathing.

Everything inside of Rupert caved in and went numb. Everything had gone out of focus except the opera music that seemed to be getting louder. He too stood breathless.

"Jenny…" within one word carried fifty thousand tears.

"No…" he forced, "no…" he ran to his phone beside his nightstand and dialed 911. "Jenny don't! Jenny stop it!" He cried falling to his knees. He was at eye level with her.

The phone rang and drowned out the sound of the opera music. Rupert looked into Jenny's eyes closer and saw the dead veins. The hand that wasn't squeezing the phone was holding onto her hand. Their fingers entwined. Her fingers were abnormally cold and by holding on to them, he thought he could make them warm again.

"Hello this is 9-1-1, what is your emergency?"

"M-my friend…" he howled, "s-s-s-she's …. She's fainted. Please help! She's fainted!"

He knew fainted wasn't a strong enough word to describe her current state.

"What happened?"

"I-I don't know. I-I-I came home and she was…" His throat was swelling with too many words, "she's not dead. She's not dead. She's not dead! No…"

"Sir… I'm going to need you to calm down and tell me where you live."

"526 Oakpark St." he yelled, "You need to hurry. She's fainted! She's fainted! She's not dead!"

"We are sending an ambulance now. I'm going to need you to give me her name."

Rupert pressed his nose lightly against the tip of cold one. His tears were falling down from his nose, to down her face.

"Jenny… Janna… I-I don't… I don't…" He shut his eyes and in hailed the heaviest air he's ever had to breathe.

"That's okay. We'll take care of that later." The voice said smoothly. "Is she breathing?"

Rupert shook his head and sat himself up, "No. She can't breathe…"

He had to replace _'isn't'_  with _'can't'_  to make it sound like something he could fix.

"Alright." Said the voice on the phone, "Do you know how to perform CPR?"

Rupert nodded putting the phone down on the ground. He sat straight up and leaned over his bed to Jenny. Her glazed eyes were response-less and Rupert thought they were pleading for help. His hand slid under her head slowly and he tried to tilt her head back. All of her hair folded over it's self and Rupert forever remembered the detail of how shiny her hair was against the cream colored contrast on his pillow. When he tilted her head back, he noticed an off balance in the way her neck moved. When he moved the hair from her neck his fingers felt a large irregular bump pulsating from her neck. He suddenly knew what had caused this and breathed out a noise rather than a cry when he realized her neck was broken.

"Jenny you can't do this." He said, "You can't… it's not fair."

His voice couldn't surpass a certain volume and his tone was swollen in tears.

"Jenny stop this right now!" He demanded, "It's not funny!"

His nose pressed against her white cheek. "You can't tell me you love me the day that you decide to disappear… you can't go without… without knowing…" Her lips were cold and now wet from Rupert's tears as he kissed her. She didn't breathe and as much as he was hoping she'd kiss him back, she never did, "I love you! Kiss me back!" He said and kissed her again, "Stop it Jenny! Stop it! No…"

He sat up next to her on the bed without moving her aside. His hands grabbed her pulse-less arms and moved her to look up at the ceiling from where she lay. Her head flopped to look up.

"Jenny why aren't you talking to me?" He shouted shaking her arms, "You can't be here one moment and gone the next!"

He cried and wept like a little boy that felt as if he had had no hope left in the world.

 _This was not happening._ Giles thought,  _this did not happen._

He bent over her and pressed his nose against her neck and the perfume that still lingered attacked his memories. He wept against the cold skin of her neck. He moved his nose softly up Jenny's neck and kissed her again. Another fruitless response.

"Why don't you love me Jenny?" He said realizing that was not what he meant but didn't feel the need to correct himself.

_Did she still love me? If she did, then why didn't she fight to stay rather than leave me in this big bad world all by myself? Why couldn't she have stayed… stayed for me?_

Just then the front door swung open. Rupert hadn't even noticed the sirens. He looked back over his shoulder and let go of Jenny completely. He didn't want to remember the cool feel of her skin, or the dead look in her face. He headed to the railing of the stairs feeling only like a figment from an imagination. Unreal.

He looked over the railing and didn't have to say anything. The medics saw him at the top step, said something that Rupert was too distracted to decipher, and ran up stairs.

"Watch out! There's glass here!" said one of the first medics while proceeding up the steps. The others followed him up.

Giles ignored them completely and headed to the bathroom. He fell to his knees beside the toilet and opened up the lid.

"She's stone cold. Been dead for at least an hour or two. There's no chance. Cause of death is a broken neck." Said one of the medics from across the bed room.

To those words Rupert let go of his stomach into the toilet. He suddenly felt weak with a light fever. He felt weak without her.

### End of Flashback###

"I wish you hadn't seen that." I said hugging her for dear life.

Her head rested against my shoulder and she rested against me with her in my lap as I sat with my legs crossed.

She only had one tear rolling down her cheek now.

"I-I w-wonder why my hair seemed like such an important detail in that one moment." She whispered.

"I think it has something to do with memory." I replied, "The brain knows what it can and cannot handle, so it will focus on an insignificant detail to pull you out of the bigger picture. It's easier for me to remember the shine of your hair against my pillow then it is to remember…" My voice faded and I never finished my sentence.

Jenny jumped in and attempted to lighten the mood, "Now I know why you take so much pleasure in brushing my hair with your fingers."

As she said that I noticed that I was running fingers through her hair without me noticing it right away. I smiled. "Yea… it's nice."

"I-I just thought you always secretly wanted a Barbie doll…" she laughed.

I laughed with her until she choked on her laugher. I patted her back until she stopped.

_She has done so much for me, and even embarrassed herself for me. I think it's my turn to share an embarrassing story… it might lighten up the mood._

*Jenny*

I was starting to calm down. The feel of Rupert holding me the way he was made me appreciate him so much more.

"You know…" Rupert started, "once when I was about… nineteen, I believe, I loved betting on games, any of our schools college games. Thomas and Philip were always for our school, Ethan and I were always against it."

"You bet on them?" I asked wondering if he'd ever gotten himself in serious trouble.

"Well… when we'd bet, we wouldn't bet money… we bet dares. So for example, if I was voting against Sunnydale High Razor backs, and you're voting for them, then we'd give each other a dare to do. Who's ever team one, they don't have to do the dare the other person told them."

"So if my team won, and I dared you to kiss a toad, and you dared me to eat a bug… then you would have to kiss a toad, but I would not have to eat a bug…" I replied trying to figure it out, "Right?"

"Exactly."

"Okay I get it." I smiled urging him to continue.

"So one time all four of us bet on a swim match. Ethan and I were for against our school, and our other friends Philip and Thomas were for our school." He laughed, "Well, the bet was that the loser would go on a midnight skinny dip in a nearby lake up in the woods. We all agreed because at that time, if you were a boy and with your friends, it didn't matter if you were wearing shorts or not. Don't ask me why, that's just how life was then." He shrugged, "Ethan and I decided later on that we'd ditch the game to try and create a potion Ethan had been trying to make for some spell he wanted to do. We figured that we'd hear about who won after wards.

"So I don't remember what Ethan and I made exactly, but it had a bunch of weird ingredients, of course at the time, we could care less about what was in it. When we finished, we had drove this cauldron of our potion into the woods and placed it behind some tall tree so no one would disturb it. Ethan said it was part of the ritual for it to be blessed in a natural environment under moonlight.

"Well, when we came back to the school, Thomas and Philip told us the outcome of the game. Ethan and I lost. That night all four of us drove to the lake, and Ethan and I accomplished our dare. I just remember that I was really cold. Even the water was freezing. The next morning Ethan is banging on my door yelling at me to get up, that it was an emergency. As soon as I opened up the door, he pushed me aside and turned on the radio on my bed side."

"What did the radio say?" I asked. I was incredibly tuned in to his story.

"That people who were going to this lake were coming back with a rash and the lake had been put off limits until they could fix the problem. I told Ethan that I didn't have a rash, so it had to have been a different lake. But that's when Ethan took off his shirt and showed me that he was covered in hives. His face, and hands were fine, but his neck down to his elbows and some of his back was incredibly red. When I took off my shirt, I had nothing. I told him we had to take him to the hospital, and he refused."

"Wait…?" I stopped him, "How did you not get it, and Ethan did?"

"Actually I did." He admitted.

"But you just said…"

"That it wasn't there when I took off my shirt... yea, that's true. It wasn't until later when I took a shower after Ethan left, that I had found it somewhere else… somewhere lower. Uncomfortably lower…"

"Oh…" I tried to imagine his pain, "Ouch!"

"No, ouch is for a pain that lasts a couple of seconds. This was misery for weeks!" He admitted shifting uncomfortably with me in his lap, "It hurt too pee! It was so hard to even put on a pair of pants! The worst part was that Ethan found out and of course that news spread..."

I laughed a little, "What caused it? Did you ever find out?"

"Yea… we did. A couple days after the incident, they found a cauldron in the lake."

I gasped, "…Ethan's potion!"

"The bloody bastard. Someone must have found it and dumped it into the lake. The potion did smell really bad so I don't blame them, but the potion had found a way to take over the entire lake. It took about a year until the lake was cleaned up again. And you know what the worst part was?"

"What?"

"Later, we found out that Thomas and Philip lied to us. Our school lost the swim match, so Ethan and I were the ones that shouldn't have jumped into the lake that night."

"Oh no!" I laughed unable to hold it in this time.

He smiled happy to put a smile on my face, "That was the last game I ever bet on. Unfortunately it was not the last potion Ethan ever made. I've hated sports ever since."

I looked up at him and kissed him lightly, "That rash must have sucked."

He continued looking at my lips, "Yea… it was excruciating."

We kissed again, this one was a bit harder. Every time his lips left, it had me craving for more.

He continued, "It itched so bad in the one place I couldn't scratch…"

"To bad I couldn't have been there to scratch that itch…"

The worlds slipped out of my mouth before I even realized I said them. My face became hot, and I was nervous. Rupert's face was all ready a dark shade of pink from his embarrassing story so I couldn't tell how he was reacting to my big mouth.

*Rupert*

I thought the embarrassing story would help us to calm down, however, it was replacing everything I knew with hormones. Hormones of steel. Jenny shifted in my lap and I pulled her face toward me. We kissed each other long and hard. The tenderness of her lips made my lower half screaming mercy. We fell back into the bed with Jenny on top of me. It was the first time I noticed that Jenny had even placed rose petals on the bed.

"Wait…" I breathed, hating that I had to ask, "A-are you sure?"

Before she answered my question, she started unbuttoning my top. My breathing quickened it's pace to match my heart's.

"I'd never been more sure." She said once every button was opened. "I'm ready."

She looked at me and I couldn't control the muscles in my body, "Y-y-y-you a-are?"

"Yes." She nodded.

We stared at each other in a long silence. Tonight was going to be the night we'd always remember.

The tips of my fingers and toes tensed when she smiled. When she came down and pressed her body against mine for another passionate kiss, the rest of my body tensed. Nobody was going to Love me like Jenny, and Nobody was going to Love her like me.

*No particular point of view*

The phone at Ralph's house started ringing. Nancy had tried calling a couple times to check in after dumping him, and she was trying again. Ralph still wasn't home from Willy's Bar. The call went unanswered. As did the map that started glowing on Ralph's floor.

*Ralph*

I was at the bar having a blast talking to some guy I had just met. His name was… uh… well, I don't remember what his name was but that doesn't matter. I just call him dude. He wore sunglasses on his head, had a crazy looking necklace, and had a leather studded coat. I figured that if he wasn't human, he could have been a vampire.

We were watching the some basketball game on Willy's tiny television, and we put down five dollar bets. Not much, but we were too drunk to care. Dude had with him a little puppy that sat on the bar counter and Willy didn't say anything or shoo the pup away. I figured he got worse costumers than cute little puppies.

It could have just been all the drinks, but that puppy sure did look like it was watching me.

"So this girl… you kiss her… and she knees you…" he laughed.

"Right in the groin." I laughed back, "And she has some kick when she gets all emotional, let me tell you!"

He laughed, "You and Rupert are the only two people that know she's alive?"

I nodded and he gave me a weird smile, "Willy?"

"Be right there." Willy rushed over to refill my drink.

I patted his round face, "you're so nice."

"You know that I've been told I have a friendly face." He smiled loving the attention. He soaked it up like a sponge.

"Really friendly." I agreed.

"Willy!" someone else called across the bar.

"Coming!" He left me patting air. "Well, you know how Willy just left me hanging?"

"Yea." Dude laughed spitting his drink in my face.

I wiped my face with my shirt. "Well, that's my plan with Jenna… Jenna…"

"Jennifer?"

"Yes Jennifer!" I patted his shoulder, "I'm going to leave her wanting more."

"Oh… how so?" he seemed like he was making fun of me, but I played along with my confidence.

"I'm going to leave her at the altar!"

"You're marrying her!" He shouted confused. "I would have figured she'd marry that Rupert fellow…"

"Well maybe… I haven't gotten that far…" I said sitting back down. "But when it happens, that's what I'll do."

"Good for you!" He said patting my back. He leaned toward me and shouted in my ear, "You two have my best wishes!"

"Wishes" I laughed! "Ha! You know I'm looking for someone that grant's wishes."

"What like a genie?"

I shrugged, "yea like a genie! What are you stupid or something…?"

"Well why do you want a genie?"

"So I could kill him… jeez! Catch up…"

He shifted in his chair uncomfortably. The dog stood from the table and licked the guys nose.

"Why wouldn't want to cast a wish?" he asked petting the silky smooth fur of his pet dog.

"Ha! I should! I should make a wish, and then I should kill him…"

"How drunk are you?" He asked patting my back.

I reached out to pat his dog and missed each time. I looked back at him confused, "How many dogs did you bring?"

"One…" he looked at his dog, "Woah… those things bred quickly."

We shared a laugh and looked at the basketball game. "GOAL!" We both stood up from our seats and shouted when the guy on t.v. made a basket.

"It's a commercial for shampoo you morons!" shouted some girl in a booth. We looked at her, looked back at each other and snickered some more.

"So I meant to ask…" dude said, "Why are you in love with a dead girl?"

"Well she's not dead anymore!" I said a matter-of-factly.

He laughed spitting more of his drink in my face.

"Well the way she rejected you…" he shrugged, "If I were you… I'd wish she was dead again. I mean, that's what your gypsy people want, and you won't have to deal with her…"

I considered it, "Nah. I still haven't married her yet." I took a sip of my drink, "But hey… I would wish Rupert and Jenny forget they'd ever found each other alive."

"As you wish."

"…because that would mean that she would be a hopeless mess, and then that would definitely leave her wanting more of me… wait… what?"

*Rupert*

I soon learned that Jenny was not in fact wearing shorts under my giant sweatshirt, but instead a cute thong that I couldn't help but admire as she undressed me. By the time I was standing in front of her in my underwear, she pushed me back into the bed. Tonight I guessed she had claimed to be on top. I smiled. I let her.

Her hands traveled up and down my bare chest and my hands held her face against mine for a kiss. When her lips left mine, they moved a path down the side of my neck, and her fingers caressed the skin right under the waist line of my boxer shorts. My lower half hardened and burned. It craved for her and she was teasing me. So I teased her back. As she started kissing down my chest I reached over and pulled the tips of my sweatshirt and pulled it up just below her bra line and threatened to take off the entire sweatshirt from over her head. I heard her laugh but that didn't stop her. Soon her fingers lifted up the waist line of my boxers the warm feel of her tongue made it's way across that part of my skin. I couldn't hold in a moan as I grabbed the hair on her head and let the sweat shirt fall back over her. She was winning at this teasing game.

Suddenly she looked up at me worried. I let go of her hair incase I had been squeezing onto her hair to hard, but then she called my name.

"Rupert…!" she said quietly at first, then she said it again louder, "Rupert!"

I sat up quickly, "What's wrong Jenny?"

She grabbed onto my arms and I could feel it to. Something was happening, it almost felt like she was drifting away. She was kneeling right in front of me but I could feel her body starting to drift somewhere else.

"What… what… stop it Jenny!"

"I'm not doing anything!" She cried, "Rupert make it stop! I don't want to go!"

I looked around and her stuff started disappearing. Random things of hers in my room just started disappearing into thin air, including the rose petals beneath us. I held her against me tighter unwilling to let her go.

"Don't leave me Jenny!" I wept like a helpless child.

I was scared, and I didn't know what to do. Had it been any other situation but Jenny I would have been on my feet and ready for action. But because it was Jenny, I was frightened and I froze.

"Rupert I love you!" she shouted scared.

"You're not dead!" I called out, "I'll get you back. I promise."

I held on to her for as long as I could until I couldn't remember what I was doing. I looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary. In my hands was nothing but one of my sweatshirts. I walked over to the closet and put it away. All of my stuff was exactly as I had remembered it. I shrugged it off and decided I needed to rest. I had a big day tomorrow.

I hated this part, going to bed. I still couldn't get those nightmares to go away. I dreamed of Jenny every night.

*Ralph*

"I granted your wish." He explained.

I laughed thinking he was joking, "Sure you did!"

"No I really did… check your pocket."

I rolled my eyes reaching into my pocket and pulling out a folded up piece of paper. I had never seen it before in my life. I was a bit shocked and opened it up. In it, it read:  _Jenny noon at Museum._

"What's this?" I asked still confused.

"I set it up for you," he explained, "It's not a date so don't get too happy, but you can ask her questions and she can fill you in on stuff you don't understand. She doesn't remember finding Rupert, so ask her what she does remember. This may not be a date… but hey, maybe you'll get lucky."

I was suddenly worried that I had made a huge mistake, "What exactly did you do?"

"Okay you caught me!" he laughed, "There is a twist. Well, nothing has changed… Jenny and Rupert just think that they haven't found each other. But I also… drum roll please…" he cracked his knuckles out in front of him and each cracking sound contributed to making the drum roll, "She is no longer under the care of Rupert Giles. Not only do they not remember finding each other, but now they don't even realize that they have been living with each other."

I didn't say anything. I was a bit confused.

"Right, I know… I wanted to do something way cooler, but D'hoffrin wanted her miserable, not dead. Without Rupert she is alone and totally ready for vengeance. I mean, have you heard about the power that girl has, and now imagine it aimed toward vengeance…"

"Wait… where is she living?"

"In a shoe box maybe…" he shrugged, "I have no clue where you live…"

"She's living with me?"

"You told me other than Rupert you were the only one that knew she was alive…" he laughed, "Chances are, she'll drift to someone who already knew she was alive and that only leaves you. Maybe that's why she wanted to meet you at the museum tomorrow… to ask. But she can't go back to Rupert… she may love him, but she doesn't remember him ever telling her that he loved her back. Sorry… I've done my homework before I met you Ralphie boy…" he took a sip of the last of his drink, "Well, my work here is done… I'm off to hunt a lone little lamb."

We laughed. "Well, wait a minute. I should buy us another drink! Willy!" I said flagging him down, "… I mean, what you did for me was… Wow… Thanks!"

"Oh… well…" he sat in the chair beside me. "If you insist."

The puppies started eyeing me suspiciously as Willy made his way over with a bottle of some cheap wine.

"Just leave the whole bottle Will…" I said and he did as instructed.

It took me four tries before I could actually grab the bottle. Then I swung the bottle over my arm and wacked the vengeance demon out of his chair and onto the floor. The bottle in my hand didn't shatter, so I hit him again until it did. The dog started barking.

"Oh!" he said standing up, "Now that was rude, but because your drunker then fuck, I won't linger on that since I'm about to kill you."

"Aren't you forgiving!" I smiled.

He had me at my throat and through my whole body over the counter causing drinks to fall over and brake. That's when other demons got mad. So many demons from various parts of the bar rammed into the vengeance demon and the dog started howling. I saw the necklace from the vengeance demon fly across the bar and hit Willy on the head. He fell to the floor unconscious.

I looked over at the mob attacking the vengeance demon and soon enough his entire body went up in flames. Someone had killed him.  _Drunker than fuck, my ass!_ I thought,  _I killed you without even touching you. Oh yea… I'm that awesome._

Everyone from the bar took advantage of Willy's unconsciousness and attacked the empty bar for drinks.

"Thanks man!" Some scary looking demon said patting my back, "You're a good fellow!"

It took me a second to refocus my balance and stand up straight. Suddenly I remembered about the wish I accidently had granted and needed to un-grant. I needed to brake the necklace. I fell to the floor on my hands and knees and crawled on the floor over to unconscious Willy. By the time I got there, the necklace was all ready gone, and I accidently stuck my hand into a pile of dog shit.  _Eww! Damn dog._

*Xander*

"Do you need anything Ms. Calendar?" I asked.

I was sitting on the couch watching the news on my small television in the basement, and she was on the floor with her legs crossed trying to put together one of my old 500 piece puzzles.

"No." she hummed, "Thank you."

She hadn't said much since she had arrived, and when she got here about a half an hour ago, I hadn't bothered to ask her why she wanted to bunk out in my basement. She seemed to much of a mess to want to talk about it, so I'd ask her tomorrow after she's gotten some rest. I'd hoped that Rupert and her hadn't gotten into a fight, but as sad as she was… that could have been the case. I didn't bring it up and just did what I could to make Ms. C feel better.

"Do you need any help?" I offered watching as her brows squeezed together when she looked at one puzzle piece.

She looked up at me without any smile on her face, "Oh no, thank you. I feel I need to figure this out on my own." She reached over and rubbed my knee, "Thank you for letting me stay… I really didn't mean to impose like this…"

"It's fine…" I said, "I'm glad to have company around here. I just hope you don't mind my parents yelling."

"I don't." she assured me. She looked back at her puzzle and focused on one single puzzle piece, "It's weird… I feel like I've done this puzzle before… and now I'm just doing it all over again."

"Isn't that a good thing? Cause now you know where all the pieces go…"

She stared at it, "No. It's not a good thing if I can't remember where they all went…"

"Well… you'll figure it out." I shrugged, "If you need a hand, you always have me."


	24. The D in Dot

The walls of this hell hole were damp and the air was humid. The walls were made of rock and the floors were made of stone. Some candles flickered along the walls, but the main light was blinding D'hoffrin from his throne. His golden chair was hitting the path of light directly in front of him and he remained in his chair with a squint in his eye. He waited for someone or something to walk through the blinding portal that had suddenly appeared.

D'hoffrin wore a magnificent purple robe and he always had a serious look plastered onto his face. Truthfully, most demons did. But the difference about D'hoffrin was that it was hard to find this demon in a serious mood. He was one of those demons that actually found joy in the destruction he caused. He had a passion for his vengeance. D'hoffrin was a pleased demon that knew how to create his own kind of fun. And his vengeance demons always had the same passion that he had for the wish. That's why he chose them; they were always the best of the best.

As the brilliant light from the portal dimmed, the portal itself began to disappear. D'hoffrin was confused for a second until he had seen the shadow of a small pup making its way to his thrown. D'hoffrin seemed interested until he noticed the necklace that dangled from the pup's mouth. It was one of his own power necklaces he gave to his vengeance demons. It was a necklace of a former employee that D'hoffrin discerned to be recently deceased. He felt a disturbance among his family, and now the sad truth had hit him.

"Thank you for returning it." D'hoffrin said sarcastically, "Most people don't return those and it's such a waste. They have no idea how much money I need to pay to buy one of those off of E-bay."

The dog walked up to D'hoffrin's feet, kneeled onto its two front paws and dropped the necklace onto the floor before him. D'hoffrin bent over to stroke the fur of the pup and then retrieved the necklace from the ground.

"I just don't remember calling fetch." He growled angrily. "You come to talk to me as some filthy mutt? Stand up! I can feel the humanity brewing inside of you. I'm not one that enjoys to be tricked by others…"

The dog on the floor suddenly began to grow, and the fur left its body. Kneeling before D'hoffrin was no longer a cute little pup but a white tuxedo dressed man. The color of the dog's fur had faded into the color of his tux. White top, black pants and White shoes. The man got up from his feet and stood tall. A smirk in his lips.

"Funny… I thought trickery was the key to the wish." The man's voice was confident. He seemed pleased, but D'hoffrin couldn't decipher why.  _Not that he cared._

"What I do to others… I don't like happening to myself." He shrugged, "Anti-Bible code of honor."

"Well," The man said clapping his hands together, "despite my appearance, I did not mean to come in here and fool you. I am sorry. This is my… uh disguise for the people."

"I find the way you connect with people unsocial. It lacks the art of communication." D'hoffrin looked into space gathering his thoughts, "It's lacking… a shower."

The man laughed and D'hoffrin looked at him amused. The man held out a hand to him, "The name is Damian. I am Damian of the Kalderash Gypsies."

"Oh. You people are here." D'hoffrin ignored the hand and relaxed into his chair closing his eyes. Damian put his hand back down to his side as D'hoffrin continued, "What is it you want? You know I don't have the girl and even if I did, you know I wouldn't give her to you…"

"Yes well… two dogs going after the same chew toy is only going to ruin the plastic." D'hoffrin opened one eye to look at Damian and the man shrugged, "Sorry about the dog reference. I've been crawling on my feet for too long. My point is, you are hunting down the same… chew toy… as my people. One for vengeance and the other to cause vengeance. I however, am willing to make you a deal."

D'hoffrin sat up again rather intrigued by this man's style. He lacked interest, but surely had confidence.

"You mutt!" D'hoffrin spat, "You watch one of my men die, you bring me the necklace, and now expect me to fall for some kind of trickery from tricky gypsies. Please, I have more important matters to attend to."

Damian got back down on one knee and spoke smoothly. "I can bring you Janna unharmed, undamaged… and ready for vengeance if you promise me to make me one of you."

D'hoffrin wrinkled his nose, "So that's what I smelt; your thirst for power. You are not interested in serving your people, you are just power hungry. You want greater respect among your clan. I respect that. However, you have no real passion for vengeance. So I have no interest in giving you power that you are not going to use toward vengeance but rather for a hunt for more power."

"Kalderash gypsies are friends of some of your best vengeance demons." Damian replied without a tone of doubt in his voice, "They understand and respect the need of revenge. We gypsies of all people tamed the wild Angelus out of the same cause."

"Oh, Angelus. Now he is one of my inspirations! He is truly a work of art himself… a painter that understands the beauty of suffering, and pain." D'hoffrin laughed sitting up high in his chair, "If only I'd ever be so lucky to be tortured by such a magnificent creature. What your people did was ruin him. What Janna did, free him from his tortured soul… now that is admirable."

Damian could now obviously see that odds were against him, but he had a great poker face and pressed onward.  _Mix in a little truth with a bluff and see who ends up folding._

"You may not want me D'hoffrin, but you need me. Since your 'worthy' vengeance demon understood where I was coming from, he followed my brother from my command and got him to make a wish. The wish that has just been casted has separated Janna from the only person protecting her and obliterated her only link to the slayer, which is perfect for me because she's helpless and in my grasp. I can bring her to you, or the gypsies, but it's really your choice. You know as well as I do that the gypsies don't plan on keeping her around long enough for her to even consider vengeance against her own clan."

D'hoffrin melted into his chair. He has not even discovered where Janna was and this mutt has already made contact with her and knows where she is. What better choice did he have rather than to accept it? Besides… if he really didn't want Damian after he brought Janna to him, then he could always kill him or turn him into the world's first vengeance demon mutt. He liked the sound of it.

"I hate admitting I'm wrong." D'hoffrin said sadly, "it's a rather pitiful feeling."

"So you're going to make me a vengeance demon?"

"Only after you bring me Janna. I don't want to just hand you the power now and watch you forget about our little deal. But as honor that we do in fact have a deal…" D'hoffrin reached out and snapped his fingers, "sit mutt!"

Damian kneeled down onto the floor again and faded smaller into the black and white puppy he was before. D'hoffrin patted his legs and the dog jumped into them. D'hoffrin took the necklace the pup had given him and wrapped in around his neck like a collar. Once it was secured around the dog's neck, the necklace had transformed into a dog collar.

"Please note that this necklace does nothing for you. I just don't enjoy my demons dying without having been redeemed." He stroked the fur of the dog again as it sat in his lap, "I will get to look in on you no matter where you are, I'll always know where you are, we could speak to each other, and I can suck you in for any meetings I feel we need to have before bringing Janna in. The only thing this doesn't have is a Barbie dream house but I'm sure with your style, you'd be fine without one."

The pup looked up at him and he wagged his tail and dangled his tongue excitedly.

"I'm going to call you Dot." D'hoffrin picked him up and held the puppy in front of his face, "Mostly because you're a white dog with only one spot of black on your rear end… but also because, when you bring me Janna, you'll be more than just a dot on my radar. And that's all you need for me to even consider having you to join my family."

The puppy reached out his tongue and licked his face. D'hoffrin was disgusted. He squeezed the puppy in his hands and started another blinding portal in front of his thrown. "Good luck mutt!" He threw the puppy through the portal and it disappeared automatically. D'hoffrin sat back into his chair and relaxed now with the stench of dog out of his cave.

*Jenny*

After being up all night feeling rather uncomfortable and confused about asking Xander if I could stay for a while, the morning dawned with more yelling from Xander's parents. They were yelling at each other for breakfast. Xander was starting to wake up from the couch and he looked at me in his pink bean bag. He sat up suddenly.

"Oh Ms. Calendar! I'm so sorry!" I could tell he was still adjusting to the fact that I was alive, "I-I didn't mean to fall asleep in the couch! I'm such an idiot! I'm so sorry! This was supposed to be your bed!"

"Xander it's okay." I admitted, "I couldn't sleep last night anyway, and at least I wasn't alone."  _Attempting to sleep in a bean bag was an improvement from sleeping in my car alone for the last two weeks._ I looked over at the clock and it was eight A.M. , "Uh… Xander… aren't you going to be late?"

"What? No…" he looked at the clock and jumped up from the couch, "No, I'll just be  _fashionably_  late. Are you coming to school today?"

I shook my head, "No… I'm meeting with Ralph this afternoon."

"Oh, okay. I'll call you later then to update you on anything new and evil that turns up." He started making his way up the basement stairs before I called after him.

"Xander!"

He looked down, "Yea?"

"Thank you, for letting me stay here." I said and he nodded with a friendly smile, "And good luck with your finals!"

"OH-NO! Finals!" He ran up stairs and slammed the door shut behind him.

I laughed, climbing into the warm couch Xander left for me and got in a couple of "Z's" before I met up with Ralph. We were going to check out the museum for the tomb and see what more information we can pull up on it for Rupert in another information-filled fake phone call. I wasn't so sure my fake phone call from Ralphs office was enough to get Rupert invited inside to see the tomb, but I still hoped.

I missed Rupert deeply. Sometimes I didn't know how to feel about him. I told him I love him before I died, and now he probably thought it was silly of me. It's not like he exactly returned the favor. I figured he didn't love me back the way I loved him. That fact was a stab in my gut and I hated the feel of it. When I came back, I thought I should run off and find him to tell him I'm okay… but then I remembered what I had done, and I thought it was impossible for him to even care about me. I hid in the shadows since I've been back and bleeding through the stab in my gut where Rupert never returned my love. I terribly wished I could have taken back what I said that morning I died, but that didn't make the reality of it any less true. I may have just returned from the grave, but only half of me was alive. I doubt I could ever feel complete again without Rupert. I was doomed to only live feeling half-alive because I am in love with some one that doesn't even know, and might not ever know, that I am alive.

*Ralph*

I waited for Jenny outside of the museum in my car a little eager to see her. The wish I accidentally made… after I started to sober up, I wondered how bad it could really be. I mean, she's not with Rupert, for some reason she wanted to see me today, and the vengeance demon said that Jenny might ask to live with me; which I was more than willing to say yes to. In fact, I cleaned my apartment this morning and made room for her just in case.

After a while of waiting around outside the museum, I started to notice how packed it was, and not of tourists but of officials. I drove my car up closer and yellow tape had been placed all around the entrance. Police were asking by-standers questions, and detectives were gathering evidence. I parked my car and walked over to a security guard nearby.

"Excuse me sir…" I asked and he turned to look at me with a firm stance, "W-what happened here?"

"An item was stolen and the curator was murdered." His voice was emotionless, like if he was just waking up out of bed.

"What?" A woman said from behind me.

I turned around to see who it was and soon enough an arm slipped around mine. It was Jenny and she was cold.  _Didn't the vengeance demon say it wasn't a date?_  I took off my coat and handed it to her as the security guard continued.

"The murder happened last night, and some tomb had been stolen." He shrugged.

"Oh-no!" Jenny replied. She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Ralph that had to have been our box! Ask him if Rupert had come over to see it."

"Excuse me…" I asked trying to get his attention again, "But was this tomb the one that Rupert Giles had been asked to come see by Doug Perren? He was studying it… trying to figure out what it was exactly…"

"Yes. As far as I know, that is the only stolen item. We already have informed Rupert Giles about the murder last night shortly after it happened, we questioned him over the phone but he has a solid alibi."

"Well of course he does!" Jenny practically shouted at him, "Rupert wouldn't murder anybody!"

"It's just routine madam," he said slightly annoyed, "You two seem to know a lot about this. Do you mind if I ask where your where-abouts were last night…?"

"We were at my house." I replied, "And we're each other's alibi."

I felt Jenny shift uncomfortably and she released my arm immediately.  _Vengeance demon was right. Not a date. But I was able to put together one thing: Had Rupert not found her alive, then I would not have been so persistent on kissing her in Jenny's new reality. That's why we were suddenly still rather close friends. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Maybe I made the perfect wish._

"Fine." He shrugged, "Well, if you ever see this item, or know who has it, give us a call." He handed Jenny his card and handed me a picture of the relic. Automatically I knew what it was and it was not good.

"Jenny we need to go!" I said.

She nodded and I grabbed her hand pulling her back to my car.

"I left my car at Xander's house, I walked here." She informed me, "But it wasn't far."

"Fine, get in." I replied opening the door for her and then getting in the car myself. "Jenny, I know what this is and it's not good at all."

She looked at me confused, "How do you know what this relic is simply by looking at it and everyone else that has studied it has no clue?" she asked jamming in her seat belt.

"Because no one is as obsessed with the Mid-evil Times as I was. Have you ever heard of Acathla?"

She sat for a moment and thought about it, "No Ralph… can't say I have. Remember, I'm not as big of a dork as you."

I laughed.  _God how I missed her._

"Right, well… summed up version? Acathla is a demon that tried to suck the world into hell, a knight pierced a sword in it's heart before the evil 'sucking' fest, and Acathla turned into stone. His tomb was buried somewhere where no one would want to look."

"Sunnydale. Why would anyone want to dig up stuff in Sunnydale!" She said sarcastically, "Good for them! Except… they didn't dig it down deep enough…"

"Anyway, if someone can figure out how to pull the sword out of Acathla, we're all sucked into hell."

"So this is like a King Author sorta deal… pulling a sword out of stone?"

"Exactly. Except this requires a ritual… I don't know of it… but someone with the right books might."

She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, "Rupert. Well, then he must know what's going on by now… and that means there is nothing left for us to do."

I hesitated starting the car. I wanted to know what she knew… I wasn't sure how she thought she lived her life for the past … two weeks was it?

"Jenny?" I asked, "How is your uh, home… situation?"

"Oh right… well, you know how I randomly found my car again in the school parking lot? No one ever moved it out of there even after I died…"

I nodded pretending to understand, "Uh… yea… totally… I remember."

"After you helped me break into my own car, and helped me get my new set of keys, I've been driving it around and been sleeping in it. It's been my home. But last night, I guess I just couldn't take being alone another night, so since Xander found out I was alive yesterday… I asked him if I could stay a while until some things got settled."

"Xander?" I hit my head.  _For all I know, the one little hint I gave the kid could have been what caused him to find her!_ In my head I was slamming my head against the steering wheel. Over and over and over.

"The sweet thing was… he didn't ask what was wrong… and he didn't try to pry anything out of me." She smiled, "He just said he would be glad to help."

I just sat there for a minute pissed off. She noticed and reached over to pat my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

I looked at her and her soft brown eyes made me smile. Suddenly I was freed from the burden of my guilt toward her. I felt good, and she was sitting beside me wanting to know if  _I_  was okay!  _Me!_

"Yea." I nodded, "Where does he live? I'll drive you home."

"17619 White Oak Drive." She smiled, "And by the way… Hello Ralph."

I looked at her confused, "Huh?"

"We kind of skipped over the entire 'Hello' portion of our meeting." She shrugged laughing.

"Oh… yes. Hello Jenny." I shook my head showing her she was weird, "I missed you."

She leaned over and gave me a quick hug, "I missed you too."

*Jenny*

Ralph dropped me back at Xander's house and gave me his number. He insisted that we hang out again soon, as friends, and not just for this gypsy or demon business. I agreed. Unfortunately, Xander and Ralph were my only friends at the moment, and my growing suspicion that Ralph had a crush on me was only getting bigger. It made me feel uncomfortable. However, I did enjoy having him as a friend. He was a good man to turn his back on the gypsies to help me. Not many good friends would do that for you.

As Ralph drove away, I noticed a puppy hiding under my car. I bent down on my knees and called out to it. Playfully it came running into my arms. The puppy was about the size of a loaf of bread and the way it's white fur blew in the wind was simply adorable. I've seen this puppy before, but I just couldn't remember where. I looked at it's shiny new collar and the name "Dot" had been inscribed into it. Interesting name. For a while I sat on Xander's front porch and rubbed the dog's belly and it rolled around in the grass. For the first time I was having non-Dangerous fun.

"Ag-hem" said a man from behind me. I looked up over my shoulder and saw a man with a bottle of beer in his hand and in a desperate need for a shave. I stood up immediately. "Why are you on my lawn?"

"I-I am a friend of Xander's…" I said nervously, "He insisted that I came to wait for him at his house until school was out."

"Hun let her be!" said a woman behind him, "Can't you tell that's Ms. Calendar you moron!"

I guessed these were Xander's parents, but they looked nothing like him. Well, in my opinion. I was never really good at noticing similar family features. I never really had parents to compare my features to. I waited for the father to yell back at the wife but instead he looked at me dumb-founded.  _Oh snap._

"Well, why didn't you say so?" he asked, "Come in!"

His breath smelled of smoke and his hand was far too low on my back as he pushed me into his house. I hurried inside trying to avoid anymore touchy from his dad. I nervously sat down on a couch and realized they were not entirely shocked to see me.

"I'm guessing you guys don't watch the news much…" I said shyly.

"Uh-no… I'm sports central 24/7." He said it like it was one of the most obvious facts in the whole world.

"Oh okay…" I said pleased that they hadn't noticed they were talking to a dead person.  _Yay for Xander's parents being so "not-informed". I bet that almost makes life easier for Xander… but probably also makes him feel uncared for._

"So I'm guessing you're here because you have some questions about Xander…" the father said putting his beer between his lap.

"No stupid." His wife said slapping the back of his head, "She already said Xander told her to wait for him here. She doesn't know anything about  _that_ yet… "

"A-about what?" I said interested.

"About his … problems." The wife laughed.

I was taken aback about how rude his family was toward him. I wanted to set them straight but I didn't want to piss them off either.

"Xander doesn't have any problems…" I said.

This time his father laughed, "HA! You hear her Jess, she doesn't think Xander has problems! I think we would know… we did raise him."

As I was about to defend him some more, the phone began to ring and the wife answered it. "Hello!" She held the phone out to me, "it's from your son." She laughed spitting all over the place. I think she was drunk. Soon his father joined in on the laughter and I figured they were both drunk. I took the phone from her upset with how unacceptable they were as parents.

"Hey Xander, what's up?" I asked trying to ignore his parents joking whispers.

"I thought you might like to know that Willow is going to do the spell to restore Angel's soul if you wanted to come? I know it must be important to you."

I was silent for a bit. Excited and worried, "Of course. I'd love to be there."

"Okay cool! I'll tell Giles your coming."

"No! Don't do that!" I shouted, "Why would you tell him that?"

"Uh… I just thought he would have wanted to know you were here…"

"No Xander I don't want him to know anything yet!"

He was silent, "Okay, fine. But I hope whatever you guys are fighting about get's resolved soon. See you shortly."

The line went dead.  _What did he mean "the fight" Rupert and I were having? He didn't even know I was alive again._ Xander most certainly did not have problems… but it still didn't mean that he wasn't rather peculiar at times.

"Well, thanks for letting me in, but Xander's decided to meet somewhere else instead." I nodded making my way to the door and ignoring their gazes. They didn't say anything, they just laughed.

Back outside the puppy was laying on the cool concrete waiting for me. I felt bad because I had to leave it again and it suddenly looked rather hungry like it hadn't been eating for days. I picked it up from the floor and carried it down to Xander's basement. I thought hopefully it would bother Mr. and Mrs. Harris if they ever came down stairs and it would be a fun friend for Xander when I wasn't around. I left it in the basement and closed the door behind me. I headed back to my car and drove to the library.

*Giles*

"I don't understand a lot of things right now to tell you the truth…" Xander blabbered on after his phone call to his parents, "…like why Ms. Calendar appeared to me last night, and why she's so secretive about stuff, but despite my confusion, I still think you should know that she's going to be here for this. She is going to watch us perform this spell tonight."

I was a bit confused with Xander's choice of words, but then again I usually am. I figured he meant something like…  _He had a dream about Ms. Calendar last night. I wish she would have told us, and not been so secretive about the cure sooner. And I know she will be here with us in spirit tonight._ Oh hey! Maybe I'm getting more fluent in Xander-speak. But that suddenly doesn't feel like an accomplishment…

"Yes." I agreed, "I think she would be here in spirit too."

Xander seemed to have been confused, and patted my back.  _Darn… I thought I understood what he was saying for the first time._  I felt more hurt on the inside as he walked back down stairs with the others. I tried my best not to think about her, but then sometimes I would have some weird flash about a memory we shared, or some weird flash of memory from her point of view. I had no idea what it meant, but I figured it was some side effect of missing her so terribly. I never got much sleep anymore, but I was running fine off of coffee and wine from my fridge…  _well for now._ I tried not thinking about her, but I had to face the fact that she was always on my mind. Even if I was thinking,  _"Stop thinking about Jenny… it will only hurt. No don't do that it will only make you think of her…"_ technically I was still thinking about her to tell myself to stop thinking about her. I hated my weird logic. I also hated that she found the spell that will cure her killer. And I hated my life without her. I hated everything. Yet despite my growing hate… I couldn't get myself to hate her: Even though she was the cause of all of my hate.

I remember the day it was so easy to hate her. The day we first started our computer versus book debates. What I wouldn't give to get into one more argument with her. I would start a computer riot or something crazy like that if I could hate her again just so the ache of losing her wouldn't hurt as bad. I tried to hate Jenny… but I ended up not knowing enough about computers to start a riot about them. I failed at hating her, and succeeded at falling even deeper in love with her. How could I fall even more in love with someone that was dead? I think Jenny drove me insane.

When Jenny died, some part of me died along with her. I loathe that she died not knowing that. Part of me felt like, if she had known… she wouldn't be gone, but I knew that was impossible. Hiding in the shadows of my stacks, and saving the world yet again, I felt like something was missing… my reason for saving the world and my happiness had suddenly vanished. How could Jenny have such a huge impact on my life without me knowing about it? It wasn't until she died that I began to dislike myself for pushing her away. The last few weeks of her life could have been with me! Her last few weeks wouldn't have been in pain or guilt… and maybe she would have known how much she meant to me which might have saved her! It would have given her a reason to live! Angelus was not her murderer. I was. I was a disgusting murderer hiding in the shadows of my stacks knowing that I was saving the world not for my own personal enjoyment, but because Jenny would have wanted me to. Because Jenny would have.

*Jenny*

When I arrived at the school, Xander was holding a door open for me in the back of the library through the stacks; a way to the library that I was not familiar with using before.

"Don't worry…" he whispered as soon as I came up to him, "I'm going to leave this door open in case you need to make a quick escape to avoid discovery. And Giles is putting away books in the stacks so be careful. They already know what's going on with Acathla and were going to do the spell to stop Angelus. We're giving him his soul."

I gave him a hug, "Thank you so much Xander."

He hugged me back and I could feel him laugh, "You welcome Ms. Calendar, but all I did was open the door."

I pulled away to look at him. "No you didn't."  _You've done way more than that._

"Xander what are you doing back there?" Giles called out.

I froze to the sound of Rupert so near. My heart sank and my skin bumped. Xander turned around and ran his way quickly back inside. I carefully and slowly followed him behind the stacks. About three book shelves over from Rupert, I stood in complete silence and hid among the shadows of the books. He hadn't seen me, and part of me was sad.

"I-I was just making sure it wasn't a full moon." Xander covered, "I mean, it would suck to have to worry about Oz on top of everything else."

"Xander… I think when were worried about the end of the world, that pretty much covers everyone." Buffy said simply.

"Well… sorry this end of the world stuff makes me a bit jumpy."

"Don't worry Xander, I have the full moon cycle marked on my calendar." Rupert said, "I won't forget when it starts."

"Marking Oz's three day cycle on your calendar, huh? Poor guy has everyone tracking his PMS. And man when he gets moody… it's not just metaphorical!"

The girls laughed and when I looked through the books on the shelves, I noticed Kendra, the other slayer, tried to hide a smirk herself. I laughed silently with them. Xander was helpful at lightening up the mood. However, Rupert didn't find it to amusing. I looked over to steal a glance at him and noticed Xander whisper something in his ear.

I heard Rupert mumble, "Yes Xander… I believe she is too. Now can you go down by Willow and I'll toss you some books?"

"Sure." He replied.

I looked at him confused.  _What did he tell Rupert?_  I was suddenly worried but Rupert didn't look surprised but rather deep in thought as he placed books into the shelf. I guess Xander didn't tell him and I was suddenly disappointed he didn't.

I remember when I first had a crush on the mysterious sexy British man. I would purposely start arguments with him that I knew would push his buttons. That was the only way I could get him to talk to me, because otherwise he was too distracted to notice me. I felt the same way now. I wanted to throw his books out of the shelves and jump on them repeatedly so he would notice me watching him and get him angry. But he was too distracted. His mind was too far away for him to notice me hiding behind his bookshelf… three stacks away.

"By the way…" Xander said grabbing the books on the table, "I really don't think you Buffy should listen to Angelus's messenger… it sounds to me like you'd be walking straight into a trap."

"I agree with Xander… surprisingly." Rupert said which made me jump. He sounded much closer than he really was, "I think you shouldn't go to the cemetery either."

"She said more would die!" Buffy argued, "I have to go!"

_Apparently I missed something. BIG._

"Den I should go with you." The new slayer said. I never heard her speak before, but I enjoyed her accent.

"No. I need you here just in case. I can take care of myself. And look, as long as Angel's fighting me, then he can't do this end-of-the-world ritual thingy, and that's a good." I was nervous when she first walked up the steps toward me, then she headed back down toward the table, "Will, what do you think?"

"I just want to cross check…"

"We don't have time!" Buffy interrupted, "If it's going to work it has to work now!"

"Okay. Then maybe I need half an hour until were all set up."

"Which means that you have to hold Angel off. Don't let him close on you." Rupert said looking at the bookshelf but spoke as if he was in a different world, "If the curse succeeds you'll, you'll know."

Giles looked over his shoulder, and tossed a book to Xander. Xander caught it, checked it's title and then handed it to Willow.

"Why don't you just wait here to find out if it worked… see if he phones you?" I couldn't see through the shelf to see who was talking, but by the sound of her voice I could tell it was Cordelia.

"I can't risk him killing anymore people. I better go." Buffy persisted.

 _Good call, but everyone is right. It sounds like a trap. This is not Angelus's style._ Quickly I had to decide what I was going to do, follow Buffy or watch Willow. When I figured I could be more helpful in Buffy's case, I wished Willow good luck and knew she could handle this rough spell. Giles was looking back at the table of kids which gave me the perfect opportunity to run out the open back door.

I heard the kids still talking as I left heading back out to my car. Slowly I drove my car patiently toward the cemetery where I remembered Rupert saying this was where they were supposed to meet. I was driving slow enough to watch Buffy arrive before I did. I parked my car in the cemetery parking lot and pulled a crossbow out of my trunk. I had always carried one in my trunk for when I thought I'd ever run into Rupert being attacked by a vampire again, and this time I just hopped I knew how to use it better. I really don't want to shoot Buffy in the butt in a situation like this.

I only walked up behind a bush and saw them clearly. They were too far away to notice that someone was watching them and I couldn't hear what they were saying. I held the crossbow out in front of me and squatted down deeper into the bush.  _Suddenly a voice in my head said to hold the crossbow at eye level._  It sounded silly to do such a thing, but I felt it was better to listen to my instinct. I held the crossbow at eye level and aimed it directly at Angelus's head. I waited. They fought. I didn't budge because I knew Buffy could handle herself, but if one little thing went wrong, I was ready to help her. In my head I was begging for Willow to hurry with the spell. I was eager to see my cure finally work, after all this time. Maybe then Buffy could forgive me. Maybe, Rupert would notice me.

Suddenly my right arm snapped. I heard the snap before I felt it happen. "Ahh…" I bit my bottom lip to hide my cry. My finger accidently slipped from the crossbow and the arrow shot up into a tree above them. They were too entwined into their own fight to notice me at all.

I bit my bottom lip hard and I could feel my eyes turning pink with screams and pain. My forearm closer down to my hand has suddenly broken for no reason… that was until I saw why.

It was Xander. I was having another painful vision of Xander's pain. A vampire was holding him from the back and had him in an arm lock. The vampire took advantage of that fact and with no mercy, broke Xander's arm. He screamed in pain and although I was supposed to feel the pain a second time, my arm had already become numb. I saw Xander, despite his pain, was able to get a hold of the hair of his attacker and slam it against the railing of the library. Then he reached out again for the dazed vampire, and was able to shove him at another vampire that was about to attack Cordy. Both vampires successfully fell to the ground.

"Go!" Xander shouted in pain.

That was the last I saw. I struggled onto my feet realizing that this had been a trap, but not for Buffy. My arm was in so much pain but I ignored the aching numbness. I ran back to the parking lot and picked up the nearest pay phone, leaving my crossbow on the ground back behind the bush. I dialed 9-1-1. They answered almost immediately.

"Hello this is 9-1-1, what is your emergency?"

I cried in the loudest whisper I could, "There has been an emergency at Sunnydale High School Library! They need help! Police, hospital, everything... now! Hurry!"

I didn't wait for a responce before I hung up the phone. I ran into my car leaving behind my crossbow and drove to the library full speed with only my left hand. I had forgotten to close my car door, but with speed it closed on its own. I let my right arm soak in pain as it rested in my lap. Xander, Willow, Cordy, Kendra… Rupert. They were in danger.

"Rupert!" I cried in the car, wishing it would do something. "Please be okay… I need you…"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Sreeeeeeech! This ride has now come to a complete stop! Please make sure you don't leave behind any loved ones or valuables! ... but feel free to leave your reviews.


	25. Angel versus Angelus

*Ralph*

There was a bonus for coming to work late because of my meeting with Jenny. The bonus was that I got to work the late shift. The hospital was quiet as the day was coming to the end and hallways were filled with nurses giving patients the last of their pills. Nancy had already gone home for the day so I had the privilege of avoiding that awkward conversation. She had left a couple voice messages on my machine the other night, but I dodged them so I had time to process my new life before I dealt with her drama.

I felt renewed after seeing Jenny today. Like if a huge bolder was lifted from my heart and I was free again. So maybe she didn't live with me yet, but I still had the privilege of seeing her on a daily basis again in friendly terms. I felt like I had finally won her back, and gravity had planted my feet firmly back to the ground.

At the moment I was running around the hospital doing the last minute check-ups. As soon as I was down to my last three stops, the front desk told me I had a call waiting. It was late on a Tuesday night and I had no idea who would call me at this late hour. Possibly Damian just to torture me. I went over to the phone hastily and answered.

"Hello?"

"Ralph I need your help."

To my surprise, it was Jenny. And she was crying. The sound of her anxiety mixed with her words became my song of hope. She needed me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I already called an ambulance and they are on their way but Ralph I need you to come here too. These kids are badly hurt in the Sunnydale High School Library. I want you to take care of them so you can fill me in on how they are doing. You're the only ones these kids would know."

"What happened to them?"

"Vampire attack. You have to help them please! Xander is hurt with a broken arm and Kendra… I think… I-I think s-s-s-she's dead…" she cried hardly able to finish her sentence.

"Are you okay?"

She didn't answer the question. "Hurry!"

I didn't hesitate. "I'll be right there."

*Jenny*

"Thank you." I managed before he hung up. My broken right arm was rested against my stomach hollering in pain. But my pain meant nothing compared to what I was looking at.

Kendra was at my feet, and her glazed over stare was colder than this library. My tears were like a stream troubled with fear. I hesitantly knelt beside the slayer and took her hand under mine. Whatever happened to her was because of Angelus. And what ever happened because of Angelus was my responsibility. When I felt her cold hands missing a pulse, I realized I had killed a slayer. Her blood was on my hands.

I molded into my place on the ground unable to understand how I had become a murderer. How had I become so evil? All the blood was my fault, because none of it would have happened if I had not kept Angelus's cure a secret. I took the sweater off from my back carefully around my broken arm and dabbed the ground cleaning up my small bloody mess. Kendra was a beautiful girl and her strength was apparent. I cried more wondering what her watcher must think of me. When the floor was cleaned of slayers blood, I stood back up with my bloody sweater in my left hand.

I couldn't take my eyes off of the girl. She was so young. I had never officially been aquatinted with her, but I had heard enough about her to know that she was a good girl. She had no intention of doing wrong in the world and was solely focused on doing right. She was the slayer without Buffy's exceptions of family and friends. And I am the reason she's dead.

I turned away feeling sick and walked back up to Xander. He was breathing, and had a pulse. That I already checked. But like mine, his wrist was broken and starting to swell. I held my arm tighter against me. I could do nothing for him right now. I walked past him furious that I had to call people for help.  _Why couldn't I do anything? Why was I so talented at ruining people and I had no talent in helping them? Why am I getting a second chance in this world if I am useless and evil! Did God just bring me back so I could see the damaged I caused… was this hell? Why did I understand nothing? Why! Why? Why!_

I had no idea where Willow, Cordelia, or Rupert were, but I sure as hell was not just going to sit here and wait for the cops to come and figure it out! I ran out of the back door of the library avoiding the fallen bookcase and as soon as I did, I swear I had just heard the front library doors swing open and someone run into the library behind me but I didn't stop to check. Once outside I saw cop cars with their lights on and horns buzzing so I figured the cops had finally gotten here and I continued my route to my car. Had Rupert and Willow run out with Cordelia, they would have gone for safety at Rupert's house. And that's where I was headed. I needed to find them.

If I wasn't in hell, then hell was sure brewing inside of me. Furious didn't cover it and unfair was only an excuse. My life was in ruins and now so was everyone else's. Simply because of my one mistake.

At Rupert's house, I ran to his front door banging on it. I didn't care if he saw me now. I needed to save him. I needed to protect him from my hell.

"Rupert!" I shouted, "Answer me! Rupert!"

Lights went on in the condo beside his and I ignored it. I continued banging on the door frantically. A short guy, I figured from one of the nearby condos, was suddenly at my side. I was prepared for him to yell at me for being so loud at this night hour.

"Don't you have a key?" He asked standing next to me casually.

He was shorter than me and seemed a bit cocky. He had a nice smug smile on his face and I thought he was making fun of me. He had an odd stench to him which made my nose cringe, and he dressed quite oddly with a brown hat that didn't match any of what he wore.

Hesitantly I reached into my pant pocket and pulled out a key. I had this key from my gypsy dream but I still had no idea what it was for.

"Oh! Yes I do." I said showing him my fake key, "Sorry for waking you."

"It's okay…" he shrugged, "I wasn't sleeping."

This short oddly dressed man stood at my side as if he was waiting for me to open the door. I waited a second to see if he would leave, but he just continued smiling up at me. I figured that he knew I was lying. He was waiting to see if I really had the key to this condo. I looked back at the key in my hand knowing I was in trouble.

Hesitantly, I reached out the key in front of me and silently prayed for a miracle. I slid the key into the lock and thankfully the key fit. I took a deep breath turning the key to the left, and to my surprise it turned until I heard a pop sound signaling that I unlocked the door. I stood still for a second shocked. The key I had been given a while ago in a gypsy dream had fit Rupert's lock. I looked at the short guy standing next to me signaling that I was okay now, but he still stood beside me. I probably had a look of confusion on my face so I pushed the door open to show Rupert's empty home.  _Wait… why did my key fit Rupert's lock?_

"You going to invite me in?" he asked.

I took a step inside of Rupert's home out of fear.  _Was this man a vampire? His crazy dress attire surly gave him that persona. And why did my key fit into Rupert's lock?_

"Uh… no." I said slamming the door in his face. "I don't live here!"

His hand stopped the door from closing all the way and he tried pushing the door open as I tried pushing the door closed.

His voice was breathless as he continued talking. "Then why do you have a key? You must live here. Listen to me for a second… calm down lady!"

I tried pushing the door closed but he was stronger than me. His strength did not match his size. He opened the door enough for him to slide in, and when he did, I realized two things: Either he was not a vampire… or the owner of the house was dead. Rupert…

"I know what you're thinking but I don't bite!" he said scrambling into the house. "Not a vampire, I swear."

_That was an odd sigh of relief. It meant Rupert could still be alive. But I did not have the time to figure out why this short man wanted to talk to me._

"Then why are you here?" I shouted at him.

"I have a message for you angel," He said playfully, "from the powers that be."

When I realized he wasn't a threat to me, I ran upstairs and left him straightening himself up. Once upstairs, I was disappointed to see that no one was in the house. Rupert and the others were not here.  _Then where could they be?_  I went back down to the annoying sweet-talker and gave him my full attention for the first time.

"Who are you?" I asked frustrated.

"You can call me Whistler…" he held out a hand, "I'm a messenger."

I didn't shake his hand still on guard. "Messenger of who?"

"I told you… for the Powers that Be. The higher powers." His hand that was left untouched had decided to smooth out his hair, "Man, they always give me the tough cookies to crack."

I ignored him and went straight to Rupert's weapon chest. I was going to load up my car full of weapons and go hunting for my friends. "Look… I don't have time for any whistling, or mind tricks, or any of this. You need to leave this house and I need to find my friends!"

"With a broken arm?" he asked noticing my swollen arm. He poked my arm and I flinched with pain away from him, "You should get that checked." He said sincerely, "Listen, I have been searching for you specifically… and if you listen to me for a second I can tell you about the power you have. You can save your friends right here and right now if you let me show you how."

"How do you know anything about me? How did you find me?" I asked holding a crossbow tight in my left arm. My right arm rested against my stomach as I waited for the pain to decrease.

"I followed an Angel." He smiled with a weird quirk in his eye. He turned around heading toward the kitchen and getting himself a drink from Rupert's fridge.

"You know Angel?" I asked confused about the way he worded it.

"Well, yea… we go way back. In fact, I don't like to brag, but I'm the reason he's here in Sunnydale. But that's not the Angel I'm talking about…"

"Angelus?"

"No. Why would I be here for Angelus?" he asked suddenly tense with a drink in his hand.

 _How much did this kid really know? He didn't even know Angel had lost his soul. "_ I guess you didn't get the memo…"

"Well, I know about Acathla and the end of the world. I came here to help you out with your powers so you have a hand in helping Angel and the Slayer save the world..."

"Right… well, guess who is going to pull the sword out of Acathla?"

"Not Angelus…" he argued, "Angel has a soul now."

"He did." I said sadly knowing it was my fault that he didn't anymore.

"What do you mean, 'he did?' Angel can't just lose his soul by chance. He is probably faking it… he is on your side, trust me. He learned a lot from me."

I looked at the Whistler up and down confused that Angel learned anything from this guy. Either way, this guy didn't fully know about his curse. Apparently most people didn't. "No, he is not faking it. The gypsy curse he was under is what gave him his soul, and the curse would take his soul away again if he ever had a moment of true happiness. And he did…"

"Angel? The brooder… happy?" he laughed taking a sip of his drink, "Truly happy? You must be mistaken. What could get that excuse of a vampire happy, honestly?"

"He slept with Buffy."

He lips pushed together and he spit his drink all over the counter. "The Slayer?" he shouted surprised. "Well I knew he thought she was a pretty little thing but I thought he knew better… I thought she would know better… Is she even legal?"

I yelled back at him, "It is not Buffy's fault! Look I don't have time for this… you obviously know nothing. The point is Angel is currently Angelus and I have to find my friends, so I got to go."

I was heading out to the door.

"Jennifer…" he knew my name. That made me stop in my tracks, "you need to know your power if you want to help."

"Fine!" I said throwing my left arm in the air. "What is my power?"

"Jenny you're an Angel." He shrugged cleaning his spit from the counter with his elbow, "Well… the better term is a 'Guardian Angel'. There is a whole prophecy about it too… except no one really knows where it is. Most people don't even believe in the prophecy because no one can find it. But many old books, I am not knowledgeable enough to read, mention the prophecy. I only know it's about you because the Powers that Be told me so."

_Me? An Angel? Yea… he knew nothing._

"I am leaving now." I said, opening up the front door.

"Give me a chance to show you how!" he was not so calm anymore.

"I don't have time!"

"Fine, leave… and when more of your friends die… you'll feel guilty knowing that I could have showed you how to find them and save their life."

I froze. This guy had to be messing with me, but he was annoyingly convincing. My right arm continued so swell in pain, and I knew I didn't have much of a chance at fighting anyway. I left the front door slightly open, and shifted my head to look at him.

"If this lesson takes more than five minutes… I'm gone."

"Follow me." He said putting his cup in the sink and then heading up Rupert's steps. I left the front door open a bit in case of an emergency and put the crossbow back into the weapons chest. Neglected, I hurried following him up the stairs. Part of me could not understand why I was wasting my time. An angel wouldn't back stab all of her friends. An angel would know how to protect her friends… not be the reason for their death.

However a part of me felt like I needed to follow this short smelly guy, and I don't know why. I couldn't explain it. But if the Whistler had a better way for me to help then to fight with a broken arm, then I guess I was all ears. What other choice did I have?

*The Whistler*

I was recovering from a blow of information. I thought that Angel would have been here to stop Acathla… not bring him forth. That was a big part of my vision that the Powers that Be had so easily neglected to mention. This changed the dangers of this mission to a point that I was not fond of. Danger was not really my thing. I understood why Jennifer was scared and why she didn't want to listen to me, but she had to. With a broken right arm and no special slayer strength, she would have no chance in a fight. I had to stay and protect her, so she could protect her friends.

She did as I instructed, sitting on the bed with her legs crossed.

"Try to relax." I said soothingly.

"Relax?" she practically laughed, "Easy for you to say."

I saw her swollen arm flinch with a pinch of pain. I wished she would go to the doctors to get it wrapped up but I knew why she didn't. She didn't have time. I needed her to relax but with a hurt arm, that could be difficult.

"Lay back and try to relax." She opened an eye looking at me suspiciously but I rolled my eyes back at her. "I'm not going to hurt you… come on, your right about not having enough time."

She laid back into the bed with her broken wrist resting on her stomach. She took a deep breath and tried to relax.

"Okay… now you need to look into your heart."

Both of her eyes opened automatically and she looked at me, "I heard that before. I-I just don't know what that means."

"Who is it you want to help find right now?" I asked.

"Rupert." She closed her eyes again trying to relax.

"Okay then just relax and focus on Robert."

"Rupert." She corrected.

"Focus on Rupert." I repeated. "Try and focus on how much you want to help him. If you have enough of a will power to want to find him, then your heart will lead you there."

"Oh I have enough of a will power." She admitted.

"Then focus!" I instructed.

"It's hard to focus when you talk so much."

"Okay. Okay." I said looking at her broken arm worried for her. I wished I was a doctor.

Suddenly Jenny's body jumped and her broken arm fell to her side. The surprise of it made me jump up from my spot on the bed. I walked over around her and her body was response-less, and her breathing was faint. Her mind must be somewhere else. With Robert. I must be a good teacher because this Angel learned well.

Part of me felt honored to work with an angel. The Powers that Be trusted me enough to help a real angel. A real Guardian Angel. The funny thing was… this chick didn't know about her power or how special she was. She had no idea of her prophecy about being the guardian angel of the slayer. Then again, not many people even heard about the prophecy. This pretty little slayer must be special, not all of them had their own guardian angel. Well, the prophecy was not entirely clear about what slayer the guardian was protecting… but if you narrowed it down, the Angelus's-true-happiness-slayer seems like the obvious one. If I could find the prophecy… then maybe this information would make more sense, but no one knew where to look, or let alone if it even existed anymore.

"Giles!" a girl shouted running into the house from down stairs, "Giles!"

I remembered about the second reason why I was sent here: To tell Buffy and Angel… well, just Buffy now… about the sword. I need to warn her about using the sword.

I quickly ran down the stairs, "I don't think he's here."

She turned around to look at me and her voice filled with confusion, "Who are you?"

She was the same pretty blond girl I remember from about a year ago. Only now with a different haircut under her beanie. And she wore a lot more black from the last time I remember. Her seriousness surprised me also. Last time I saw her, she was a carefree teenager. The life of a slayer must be rough.

"Whistler." I finally reached the bottom step and looked at her at eye level.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with the same tone in her voice.

"I'm waiting for you." I admitted with a shrug. For some reason both of my girls found themselves here at Robert's condo.

"Why?" she asked almost sarcastically.

I plaid off of her sarcastic mood, "Cause I-I-I need a date to the prom."

 _Wrong thing to do._ Suddenly she approached me at full force and before I had time to react, her hand was already around my throat and I was pushed against the wall. She was about as serious as Jennifer when it came to time, except the slayer took more action when stuff got in her way.

"I have had a REALLY BAD DAY. Okay? If you have some information worth hearing, I'm grateful for it, if you're going to crack jokes then I am going to pull out your rib cage and wear it as a hat."

*Jenny*

I felt my soul jump from me into Rupert. It was a similar feeling to the one I had when my soul jumped from me to Buffy when she found Angelus's cure. Rupert must have felt the jump too because just then, he had awoken from sleeping on the concrete ground. I could feel his head aching and the feel of the concrete under him. But once again, I was unable to control his actions or speak to him. I could only see what he saw and feel what he felt. It suddenly felt good to have a right arm that could move again, even if I still couldn't control it.

Rupert looked at the floor trying to recall what happened and where he was. When he looked up, he saw Angelus up in his face. It spooked him at first and I felt his body jump.

"Hello Rupert. I wasn't sure you were going to wake up. You had me worried."

Rupert began standing up from the ground and Rupert somehow suppressed my fear of looking at my murderer right in the face.

"What do you want?" His voice was hard.

Angelus jumped up to his feet, "I want to torture you." Both Rupert and I shivered. "I used to love it, and it's been a long time. I mean the last time I tortured somebody, they didn't even have chainsaws."

_Great! What was I going to do? Be inside Rupert and just watch him get tortured! That is exactly what I didn't want to do! I didn't want to sit and watch! I wanted to fight! The Whistler was wrong, I was no Angel and I had no way of protecting Rupert! The Whistler forgot to mention how I guard, and protect. Maybe this was a trap. Maybe I was in hell after all…_

Angelus walked past Rupert. Rupert limped around to look at Angelus and saw Acathla for the first time and Angelus was studying it. That's when I could feel Rupert really starting to get scared. I was afraid of Angelus, and Rupert was afraid of Acathla. It was like we were a perfect match.

"Oh yea… Acathla." Angelus said simply noticing Rupert's stare, "He's a harder guy to wake up then you are. I mean, I performed the rituals, said all the right phrases... blood on my hand. Got nothing. Big doughnut hole for my troubles. I figure you know the ritual. You're pretty up on these things. You could probably... tell me what I'm doing wrong." Angelus started approaching Rupert and I was frightened, but Rupert could careless, "But honestly, I sorta hope you don't... 'Cause I really wanna torture you."

The image of my uncle after Angelus had tortured him suddenly stuck in my mind and I knew what he was about to do to Rupert. Rupert suddenly realized it to. But it was too late. The two vampires behind Rupert had already grabbed him and despite the force of Rupert and I trying to push away, the vamps had the power over us. As we continued to push on, a vampire had lost grip of Rupert's arm and Rupert's jacket came off. For a second, we had a chance but Rupert had a limp leg. I did what I could to take away his pain so we could run but I wasn't able to by the time Angelus grabbed Rupert by the throat and held him in the air.

"Congratulations Rupert." Angelus smiled crookedly, "We're starting with torture."

"No!" I shouted, but only I could hear me. I forced myself to feel his hurt leg and experience its pain. I focused on what I wanted, like how Whistler taught me, and before I knew it, his pain was my own. It worked.

Angelus threw us against the wall, and I felt the pain, but Rupert got the blow. As Rupert was knocked unconscious, I started to understand that I would feel the pain, but it would still make Rupert exhausted. He'd still bruise and get the cuts, but only I'd feel the pain of them. It was an okay compromise. It was better than just watching him suffer. Angelus picked up Rupert's body and began tying him to a chair.

Slowly Rupert began to wake up again, and Angelus noticed. He tightened Rupert's tie so he couldn't breathe. I felt the irritating feeling of not getting air and Rupert was the one that couldn't breathe. With one clean tug, Angelus pulled the tie off of Rupert's neck and we could breathe again. Next Angelus snapped off Rupert's suspenders and the metal tips came up and hit Rupert's face. I felt the pinch and Rupert just felt the cool metal tap against his face. I could feel the small cut on Rupert's forehead, but to him it just felt like small drops of sweat were trickling down his forehead. On top of it all I felt his confusion as Angelus continued.

*Rupert*

I couldn't exactly explain what was happening but whatever was going on was helping. I could feel what Angelus was doing, but I didn't feel much of the pain. However, I was always becoming quickly exhausted and I could feel my sweat pressing against my clothing, and trickling down my face.

Angelus pulled out a chainsaw threatening me that he'd use it, but he never did. I knew as well as he did that it would kill me and he would get no answers. Instead, he slammed the butt of the tool to my face. I yelled in surprise, but not in pain. I felt my right eye begin to swell, but I didn't feel the bruise.

In my head, part of me knew what was happening. It was Jenny. She was watching over me. I knew she was insisting me to stay strong and not to give into Angelus's terrors. The world needed to go on, although with the thought of her, I wanted it to end so I could be with her again. But I know that's not what she would have wanted me to do. She's wants me to fight. And if I died protecting the world, then all the better for me… in the end I'd still get to see her again. I could feel how weak I was on the inside, but I was strong on the outside. I was only strong because of Jenny. She was the only reason I was protecting the world. Even if she was not living in it anymore, I knew she would have wanted me to. As Angelus practiced his torture exercises, I sat still and stayed strong.

*The Whistler*

After my conversation / argument with the slayer, I tried to warn her about the sword but she left before I had the chance to explain. However, I did have time to warn her that she is alone in this. It was a horrible lie, I know, I mean the kid did have a guardian angel and friends that loved her like a family… but I told it to her for the obvious reason. As a slayer, she feels alone all the time. She may not be, but she feels like she is. It is that fact that makes her a great fighter. If she believes she is alone, she realizes she has no one else to rely on other than herself, and in that, she will fight harder. And she will win. If I am able to convince her that she is all she needs to win this fight, then she will fight and she will conquer. The help of her friends along the way will just be the surprising extra package in her punch rather than what the slayer relies on to survive. She needs to rely on herself alone in a fight with Angelus so she can survive.

I headed back up stairs to see how the angel was doing, and was surprised with what I saw. She suddenly had a cut and was bleeding on her head, her leg was twisted but not broken and tears poured out of her eyes. One of her eyes was bruised. She was still not in her own body, but her body was suffering whatever was happening.

I ran to her side, grabbing her shoulders, and shaking her awake. "Jennifer!" I shouted, "Wake up right now!"

Slowly her warmth overflowed in her own body and her eyes began to flutter open. Her pain was evident and she began to cry in pain. I heard her whisper but I couldn't make out what she was saying.

"What was that?" I asked moving my ear closer to her.

"I said…" she choked, "that I wasn't ready to come back yet!"

Her left arm came around and slapped me hard enough that I fell to the ground. He voice was rough and it never passed a whisper. I removed my face from the wood board flooring and started to stand back on my feet. She was already standing over me waiting.

"Send me back again!" she cried, "He needs me! He needs me right now."

"Only you can send yourself remember?" I said slowly backing away from her. She was suddenly scary, "And have you seen yourself? Give yourself a second to heal before you go back."

"No!" she shouted, "I don't have a second! And I can't focus hard enough to go back to him! Please help me!"

"Why can't you focus hard enough?" I asked, "Are you distracted by the pain? …because that means you have to wait a second until your better."

"Yes-no-yes…" She was trying to decide how to feel but slowly calming down, "I think I'm distracted by the rest of the kids. I-I-I need to know where they are. H-how they are. Rupert can't be the only one that needs my help."

"Okay… then focus on one of the kids instead…" I suggested.

"Actually a phone call is okay for this one." She assured me breathing deeply. I nodded and walked over to hand her the phone.

*Ralph*

"You have a call Ralph…" one of the nurses came into Willow's room to inform me.

"Please excuse me." I said looking over at Cordelia and Xander, "I'll be back soon."

Cordelia was the only one looking at me and nodded my way, "Okay."

Xander was sitting in his chair watching Willow intensely for any movement as a sign that she has awaken from her slumber. But there wasn't any yet. I left the room and followed the nurse to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ralph, how are the kids?" Jenny's voice excited me.

"Jenny! Where were you? I thought you were going to meet me at the library… are you alright?"

"Never better." As a contrast to her hard and rocky voice, I knew she was lying.

"What's going on Jenny!" I panicked, "I think I deserve an explanation."

"Not now."

"But-" A kid with orange hair came up to me and I paused waiting for him to tell me what he wanted.

"I'm sorry…" the kid said, "I'm Oz. I'm looking for Willow Rosenburg's room."

"Do you guys know an 'Oz'?" I asked Jenny making sure he checked out.

"Yea! Is he okay?" Jenny exclaimed.

"Yea he's fine." I assured her. I focused back on the kid, "Willow is down the hall, second door on your right."

"Thanks." He said practically running down the hall. I would have yelled at him for running but Jenny was still on the other end.

"Ralph… I just need to know how the kids are." She breathed.

"Jenny I need to know what's going on! I need to help you, and you don't sound like you are prepared for any fight…"

"I'm ready for any fight Ralph. All you can do for me is to take care of those kids."

"Where are you?" I persisted, "I'll come find you. I'll come help."

"No Ralph."

"I need to."

"No!" she shouted, "You are helping me! By helping those kids, you're helping me! You understand? Those kids are the only reason I want to live. They are the only fucking reason my life has any meaning to it. You make sure those kids are alive, and I promise you that I will be okay! I need them healthy… and I need them alive."

"Willow's awake." A tired voice said beside me.

I jumped looking over to my right. It was Xander. "Fine, I understand." I said onto the phone, "Here's Xander." I handed the phone to Xander, "It's Jenny."

"Oh thank God." He said reaching for the phone excitedly.

 _Apparently he didn't know she was okay either._ I shouted at a couple nurses for assistance and we headed into Willow's room.

*Xander*

"Ms. Calendar! Where were you? I went up to the stacks just before Willow did the restoration spell but you weren't there! I figured you followed Buffy out but when the vampires attacked us, I figured the worst…"

Her voice was rough. She sounded as exhausted as I felt, "I'm sorry to scare you Xander. I'm okay, I promise. How are the others?"

"Willow just woke up, she had a good hit to the head and we weren't sure if she was going to wake up but she just did."

"Oh… I'm glad you found her! I couldn't find her, I was worried…" she said as relived as she could manage, "Did you find Cordelia?"

"Yea she ran… she is fine." I assured her, "She's here now with Oz and I looking over Willow. Buffy stopped by earlier and she's fine too but we can't find Giles. She went looking for him."

"When she finds exactly where he is, give me a call and let me know where he is okay? Call me at Rupert's house…" she asked hopeful.

"Will do. But there is one more thing…" I said. My throat was hard and my words felt dry, "I know you were never officially acquainted with Kendra, but I know you knew her. S-she's dead."

Jenny didn't say anything for a moment. I heard her take a shaky breath, "How are you doing Xander?"

"I'm okay… but I'm guessing like you, I have a broken right arm." I waited for a second to see if I was right about my two second vision. "It was you in my vision wasn't it? And it's not the first time either…"

She hesitated, "Y-yea… it's me. I-I actually see you too, when you get hurt."

"I'm sorry." I admitted feeling guilty, "I feel like it's my fault, but I don't know why it happens. I feel like I broke your arm. I'm sorry! I didn't mean it, I swear. Why doesn't it happen to me when you get hurt…"

"I don't know why. But I'm thankful I don't hurt you."

"Well, I'm still sorry."

"It's okay Xander. It's not your fault…" she took a moment to catch her breath, "Besides, I probably deserve it."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked disappointed that she would think that.

"It's nothing… well, I'm glad you guys are okay but I better get going. I'm doing my own hunt for Rupert. Maybe with Buffy and I looking for him, we will find him faster."

"Good luck." I persisted, "And Ms. Calendar…"

"Yea?"

"You really are a great person." I laughed, "You're like our Angel."

"So I've been told."

*Rupert*

"How you holding up?" Angelus asked sliding my glasses back onto my nose.

I looked up at him weakly suddenly feeling all the pain I'd been missing out on, "…Never… better."

"Glad to hear it," he bent down beside me and I felt his hot bloody breath in my face. He grabbed my right index finger and started bending it back, "Now… tell me when it hurts…"

What ever had been holding back my pain was entirely gone and I was alone in a pool of my own pain. I felt my finger bending back and the skin pulling tightly from my hand. I tried to hold in my pain but I knew he was going to break my finger and I tried to brace myself for the pain.

"What is it I need to know?" He asked laughing in my face.

"That you need a breath mint." I breathed.

Snap. My finger bent back to far and I hollered in pain. My finger went numb and my palm had sharp pinches running down to my wrist.  _Stay strong. Stay strong. Stay strong. Stay strong._

"Wrong answer. But you know… this whole torturing you thing, it's kind of turning me on. That yell of yours was bone chilling." He grabbed my right middle finger and bent it back. This time the pain hurt even more. "Do it again." He demanded playfully. "What do I need to know for my ritual Rupert?"

"I don't know." I breathed again, "I don't- Ah!"

He snapped my finger back and shivers traveled up my arms from the sting. My hand was throbbing and I wished it would be numb again like it was before. I wish I didn't feel the pain anymore.

"That was your sexiest one yet…" he stood up patting my shoulder, "to bad I don't have a video camera, Ms. Calendar would just die to see you like this. When the world gets sucked into hell, maybe I could show it to her."

"Shut-up!" I pressed knowing I shouldn't continue but I did anyway, "You know what she died for… she died to save your immortal ass, and she's more of an Angel then you'd ever be."

"And you know…" he shrugged walking away, "I'm kind of grateful for that. I don't want to be an Angel. Angelus suits me well. I was born to be a demon. I was born to conquer the world."

"And I was born to stop you." I said testing him, "Let's see who wins."

"Hey Dru…" he shouted across the hall, "Do you have a camera?"


	26. Wrong Intentions

*Jenny*

"How is everyone?" Whistler asked putting a band-aid on my head, "Are you ready now?"

"The only one I am worried about now is Buffy. She wasn't with them."

"Oh she's fine…" he said walking into the bathroom with the band-aid remains, "She was here while you were in your trans-thingy."

"What?" I said surprised sitting straight up on the bed, "W-was she okay? Did you tell her I was here? Did she see me!"

"Yes, no, and no. Did you want me to tell her you were here?"

"No."

He shrugged, "Good. It's better if she didn't know her guardian angel was helping her out… it would make her fight harder, which is what she needs if she is facing Angelus. Trust me."

"Wait… I'm  _her_  guardian angel?" I asked suddenly intrigued by the idea. "…Buffy specifically?" I mean, I was protecting Rupert, so I did have some sort of power.  _But an Angel? Really? …and Buffy's?_

"Well, you would need to find the prophecy to know for sure, but the powers that Be just said 'a slayer'. I figured blondie since you two are already acquainted and your subconsciously protective of her. The thing about the Powers that Be, they are rather… cryptic about this kind of stuff. They don't tell us everything."

I sat back starting to wonder if I was even human _. What did it mean to be a guardian angel? And why me?_ "W-what is a guardian a-angel exactly?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well," he started, sitting back on the edge of the bed, "Its different then a heavenly angel. It's like the slayer. The slayer guards the world and protects a bunch of people… you only have to focus on protecting the slayer. You're a human with certain abilities and with the intention to protect and nurture. You know… a guardian angel. Not that complicated to figure out."

"But why can I protect Rupert?" I asked, "Why can I protect more than just the slayer?"

"Well I imagine you can help anyone you really wanted to… but you're assigned to one person specifically. So when it comes to protecting the one who you're assigned to, it's like a second nature. You protect someone without realizing it. It's easier to protect your one person you were intended for rather than to protect the others you're not assigned to."

"So if Buffy is the one I'm intended to help…" I said laying back into the bed, "then that would mean that it would be easier for me to focus on her rather than to focus on Rupert."

"I don't know everything Jennifer." He admitted sounding a bit annoyed, "You need to find the prophecy to know anything for certain."

I took a deep breath. "I'm ready." I said closing my eyes and relaxing into Rupert's mattress. The room was silent, and I heard the crickets chirping outside. It was hard to control my pain but I did my best to calm it out of my mind. Suddenly the phone rang. The sound of the phone surprised me and I groaned sitting myself up on my elbows as Whistler handed me the phone.

"Hello?" I asked hoping it was Xander.

"Ms. C it's Xander…again!" he said excitedly, "Buffy called, she said that Giles was held up in the mansion on Crawford Street. She thinks he's still alive. Ralph also wants me to tell you that he thinks he you should come in for a quick check-up before you go anywhere."

"Tell Ralph thanks but no."I breathed, "And thank you Xander. Take really good care of Willow for me okay? You all stay safe."

"Will do." He replied.

I hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed.

I laid back into the comfortable mattress and almost instantly I felt my soul jump from me to Buffy.

_If Buffy had a plan on saving Rupert, I wanted in on her plan. I needed to know her plan now. We had no time to spare. I could take away Rupert's pain all I wanted, but I can't take him away from death._

Buffy jolted as I felt my soul jump inside her. I saw what she saw, and felt what she felt. And she suddenly had a sharp pinch of fear to the sound of breaking glass.

"Don't you talk to me that way!" I was able to gather that we were in Buffy's kitchen. Her mother was yelling at her."You don't get to just dump something on me like this and pretend it's nothing!"

"I'm sorry mom but I don't have time for this."

_She was right. We really didn't._

"No, I'm tired of 'I don't have time' or… or 'You wouldn't understand.' I am your mother and you will  _make_  time to explain yourself." She was furious, she was frustrated, and Buffy's heart was breaking.

"I told you." Buffy said as simply as she could, "I'm a vampire slayer."

"Well, I just don't accept that!"

"Open your eyes mom. What do you think has been going on for the past two years? The fights, the weird occurrences? How many times have you washed blood out of my clothing and you still haven't figured it out?"

"Well, it stops now!" she demanded.  _If only it was that simple._

"No, it doesn't stop! It never stops!" Buffy argued and I could feel her swallowing her tears wanting to cry. My heart sunk more and more as I could do nothing but sit and watch. This was the pain I couldn't save Buffy from, "Do… do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is? How dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys, or GOD even studying! But I have to save the world. Again!"

"No, this is insane." Her mom said grabbing our arms and shaking them as if she were knocking sense into Buffy, "Buffy, you need help."

Buffy shrugged her off, "I'm not crazy!" She took a breath. It was hard for her to talk to her own mother this way. I had never felt this way before until I was experiencing it now inside of Buffy. A mother and daughter fight. It hurt horribly like a hole in my heart. "What I need is for you to chill. I have to go."

"No. I am not letting you out of this house."

"You can't stop me."  _The fate of the world and her own mother's life was on the line if she stayed. I knew as well as she did that she had to go. She didn't have time to sit and explain it to her mom. The world wasn't being fair. The world wasn't being fair to Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I knew she didn't deserve it. Any of it._

 _"_ Oh yes, I- _"_  Buffy pushed her own mom off of her and her mom fell against the counter banging into plates on the countertop. Buffy headed for the door. Her mom took a breath and continued angrily. Her tone was full of fury, "You walk out of this house, don't you even think about coming back!"

Buffy stood there looking at her mom unbelieving. I did the same. I felt like her mom was talking to me. I felt like she was my mom and the one time I got to see my mother alive again, she was yelling at me. Of course this was Buffy's mom, but Buffy's pain felt like a part of me as my soul resided inside of her. I felt Buffy's pain to her mom's fury and confusion.

I told Buffy over and over again to go with her mom. I could handle it. Go be with your mother! I shouted but she didn't hear me. Instead she left the door open, turned around, and headed into the darkness of the night.

I didn't have my mother growing up, and Buffy didn't understand just how special of a mother she walked away from.

*The Whistler*

"Jennifer…" I said handing her some toilet paper from the bathroom for her to clean her tears, "I think I need to warn you about the dangers of using your power."

She confusingly took the paper from my hand and dabbed her tears, "There is dangers to being an angel? And you tell me this… now?"

"Technically…" I admitted, "If you look into your heart, and your heart doesn't have the best intentions, it can backfire. It can have negative side effects. You can only look into your heart if you're sure that is what your heart truly wants."

"Well don't worry." she said, "I truly want to help my friends. Nothing is going to backfire today. It's too important to want anything else."

"I still have to tell you. It's like reading you the warning label…" I carefully soothed my hand over her broken right arm, "How is your arm doing?"

"Hurts." She shrugged looking away from me, "But it's fine… the pain will go away eventually." Suddenly her head snapped up as if something in her head had clicked, she looked over at me, "I need to get back to Rupert! I still don't know what Buffy has planned but he's being tortured…"

"Jennifer I don't think you're ready for that yet…" I admitted trying to convince her as she laid back into the bed, "The cuts, the blood… is that truly what your heart is going to want?"

"If it will help Rupert then yes!" She said impatiently, "Cover whatever scars I get, but you can't stop me. Rupert needs me right now."

Her eyes closed and she focused hard. Today was going to be a long day. The sun was already beginning to rise signaling the morning of another day, and I still had not caught up with my sleep for the day before.

*Jenny*

I did my best to relax in Rupert's bed.  _He needed me right now. I needed to take away his pain forever. I wished I could take away everyone's pain. I wish Buffy didn't have to suffer the drama with her mom, I wish Willow would never have to suffer the trauma to the head, I wish Xander never had to brake another bone in his body, and I wished that Rupert torture could just end. I wanted all of this to end soon. It was all my fault and I just wanted to hurry up and get it over with. I didn't want them to suffer anymore. I wanted this done. But it will never be over, will it? Everyone's pain would never go away. Not until the world comes to an end._ – It was to this last intention that my soul jumped.  _I mean… it is what my heart truly wanted. Wanted it over with._

As my soul jumped, I felt vulnerable and that's when chaos took over me. Suddenly I wanted nothing more than everything over with. I couldn't help the craving of just wanting it to be done. Willing to die. Willing to sacrifice the world so my friend's pain could stop. That's all I wanted, for their pain to stop.

My new body suddenly gasped with excitement as my soul slipped inside her. The tips of my fingers were rested in some ones hair, and I could hear the sound of someone breathing heavily beside me. I saw what my person saw, and I felt what my person felt.

"Of course…" I whispered.

I wasn't Rupert, and I could tell by the sound of my voice that I was a girl. Rupert was sitting tied to the chair beside me. I still couldn't control my actions, but in this new body I felt more open. More alive. I think I was Drusilla. Her body didn't seem to feel my presence inside of her despite the fact that my presence felt stronger than ever. For the moment, we both had the same wrong intention, and I couldn't control my craving for it: The end of the world. That's when I was sure I was Drusilla.

"Look at me." She said holding two fingers out in front of her trying to get his attention. Rupert ignored her looking away. Drusilla tried again, and Rupert's lazy eyes followed her fingers to her eyes. He was lost in our eyes almost confused. "Be… in me."

I felt Drusilla trying to work her magick mojo but I could tell it wasn't working properly. I think it was because I was inside of her disturbing the "magick trick". I closed my eyes and focused hard. I didn't want to protect Drusilla… I wanted to control her. It didn't take as long as I expected. Like I said, I had never felt this strong with my power before. Like a breeze of wind, I was able to move her. I was her. I felt Drusilla's insanity all around me, but I had the ability to control it. I had the ability to use her "magick trick". I was consumed with power and had only one intention for it. To end Rupert's pain once and for all. To end everyone's pain forever.

Rupert was still looking at us, but couldn't see me. All he saw was Drusilla.  _If I had to see with my heart to see him, then he had to see with his heart to see me…_

"Mmm… See with your heart." I said placing her hand out to cover Rupert's eyes.

Drusilla was not confused by her movement. In fact, it was like Drusilla allowed me to make the calls. I could do whatever I wanted. Thankfully her insanity worked in my favor. If she was sane, she would have noticed that someone else had taken the wheel momentarily. She was more intrigued with the idea that whatever she was doing seemed to be working in her favor. And she liked that. A lot.

*Rupert*

Slowly the hand removed itself from blocking my vision and I was looking directly at her. Jenny was kneeling directly before me, and I couldn't believe it. The small structure of her features and the healthy strands of her hair were entirely perfect. Like I remembered. Untouched. I was more than just looking at her, I felt her essence filling the room. I felt traces of her inside of me. Every single part of me that would have been telling me it was fake, was actually shouting at me that it was true. My heart thumped a million paces faster, and I wanted to faint, unable to keep my breathing stable enough for a simple word like "Hello". An untamed smile spread across my lips.

*Jenny*

For a long moment we just stared at each other, with him truly seeing my real face. When it took him long enough to comprehend that it was me, his face lit up and my insides tickled. I loved seeing him happy.

"…Jenny!" he breathed, "I thought I'd lost you…"

_I could feel Drusilla's excitement when she thought her power was finally working properly._

"Shhh…" I hushed him and spoke no higher than a whisper."I'll never leave you."  _I'll always be here to protect you from any pain._

"We have to get out of here." He said eagerly leaning from his seat. My heart raced to the thought of him really wanting to take me with him.

 _Suddenly Drusilla snapped me out of my daydream when she made a move of her own._ "No, no, no, no, no…" She stopped him, "Slowly."

_– I guess both of us were in control of this body. Good, that meant she wouldn't suspect another presence inside of her. It only made my job easier._

I reached out caressing his face. I had to touch him. He was so perfect in every way. I had no doubt in my mind that I was in love with this man. No doubt that I would always do what was best for him. His confusion was apparent in his stares, and I soaked up all of his attention. I loved that he was excited by me. That when he looked at me, all of his pain seemed to disappear. My fingers traced down to his lips and his face lingered on my fingertips unwilling to let go of my touch.

"It can't be you." He said, letting my fingers fall from his face. By the sound of his voice, I knew he didn't believe a word he had just said. He knew it was me, but he just didn't understand how it was possible.

_But I was here. I was always going to be his angel. I was sent here to do what's best. For him. For Buffy. For the world full of suffering._

"Did you tell Angel?" I asked. "About the ritual?"

"No…" he replied still dazed in a cloud of confusion. He said it like it was a good thing he had not told Angel yet. "We have to get him… away from Acathla."

Drusilla jumped in. "Why? Is he close to figuring it out?"

"Later." He persisted, still trying to get us out of here.

I smiled. He wanted me to escape with him. He wanted me by his side. He didn't hate me. He still appreciated me.

"Tell me what to do." Drusilla said out of pure joy. He looked at us clueless. He didn't understand why I would want to end the world.

I had to assure him it was best. I smiled, "It's all right. We'll be together… Finally."  _That's what I wanted, to be with him forever, escaping the torture and the pain of this cruel world. Never having to suffer._  His eyes brightened with the thought of it, "We'll have everything we never got to have." I reached out and touched his bare chest allowing my fingers to roam lower and lower feeling the pure lust pounding through me. I lightly pressed the tip of my nose against his, "Never got to feel." I felt him tense, "…Just tell me what to do."

His eyes fluttered closed. He was breathing heavily feeling the same excitement I felt. The pure lustiness of the seven deathly sin was brewing inside the both of us like a wild fire.

*Rupert*

I forced my eyes closed as I considered the possibilities, but my brain was too focused on Jenny and my strong attraction to her that I could not fully focus on what was the best move. In the end I decided to tell her, since that was what she wanted, and I would do anything I could to make her happy. I spoke fast, "We have to get Angel away from Acathla."

"Angel himself?" she asked catching my subtle hint. "He's the key?"

Her voice made me shiver, "His… his blood. He… he mustn't"

*Jenny*

That was all Drusilla needed to hear. She would take that information and finish my job for me. Drusilla felt the lust pounding between us and couldn't help but force a kiss on him. Wanting the same thing and easily becoming jealous, I quickly took control of the kiss. It was amazing, like I could feel all of Rupert's emotion to the thought of wanting me. I loved it… in an awkward "Third-Wheel-Drusilla" way.

In this new world, Rupert and I would forever bathe in each other's embrace; without the third wheel. No pain anymore. I could feel in the way that we moaned as we kissed that lust controlled us both until I was no longer convinced that it was one of the seven deadly sins. It felt so good that it had to be right. Maybe it was more than lust. Maybe it was love.

Suddenly I was pulled away from the kiss, and I screamed and hollered to the shock. Like shrieks of a demon. I was yanked out of the kiss and pulled into something else. It felt like a dream of a distant memory. Or maybe just a dream.

###FLASHBACK###

Jenny's hands traveled up and down Rupert's bare chest as his hands held her face against his for a kiss. When Jenny's lips left Rupert's, her lips moved a path down the side of his neck, and Rupert shivered to her tenderness. He had never felt so passionate about any woman in his life. He couldn't comprehend the idea that she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her. And yet, there she was, with her fingers caressed the sensitive skin right under the waist line of Rupert's boxers. His lower half hardened and burned from cravings. His straining erection craved for her and she was teasing him playfully. Rupert could not help but tease her back. As she kissed down his chest he reached over and pulled the tips of the sweatshirt Jenny was wearing and pulled it up just below her bra line and threatened to take off the entire thing from over her head. Jenny laughed softly not letting his threat do as much as slow her down. Soon her fingers lifted up the waist line of Rupert's boxers the warm feel of her tongue was making it's way across that part of his delicate skin. Rupert let a moan roar as he grabbed the hair on her head and let the sweat shirt fall back over her as it was before. She was winning at this teasing game.

###END FLASHBACK###

*Rupert*

As my lips folded into hers, adjusting to how her angelic lips were molded, I think I fell into a dream. I had a dream that I was no longer tied to this chair, but in my own bed. Jenny with me, teasing me, testing me, wanting to make love to me. This dream had an odd sense of familiarity to it, but I knew nothing so intimate has ever happened between Jenny and I before. But I was in love with every second of the dream. To have her so free, and her essence surrounding me was truly the happiest feeling the world. To have her back was a miracle. To have her wanting me was a gift I needed to earn. I know I didn't deserve her and I sat tied in this chair fighting to be with her. I was unworthy to be with such an angel of God's best artwork.

"Sorry…" A voice said in front of me that wasn't Jenny's, "I was in the moment."

When I slowly awoke from my dream Jenny's lips had already left mine long ago. Gradually I let my eyes open on their own. I knew I had a massive smile on my lips, I could feel my cheeks were heated and blushing. I just couldn't help but feel so emotionally attached to Jenny.

But soon my eyes had opened entirely and I was destroyed by what I saw. No Jenny. I had just been kissing Drusilla. I could tell because I had the filthy stench of dried blood in my mouth that I had not noticed before. She tricked me. All of what she showed me was a trick.  _But was it all a trick? How did she make it so convincing?_  My smile dropped. My veins went cold. I couldn't decipher what hurt more; knowing that the world was about to end because I told the rituals big secret, or the fact that I had a glimpse of a perfect life with Jenny, and all hope of it demolished in front of me in the blink of an eye. Like when Jenny died. Only now I was being teased. Only now she left me broken.

*Jenny*

"AH!" I sat up instantly from the bed scaring Whistler half to death.

Evil had raced through my veins and I felt dirty. I was hitting myself trying to demolish any remains of evil in me, if any still remained. And maybe the chalky taste of wickedness would vanish. I was freaking out, and I could feel my sanity slipping away like Drusilla.  _How could I ever do such a thing? How was that even me?_

"Jennifer calm down!" He shouted holding my arms tight at my sides, "Listen to me. It's okay now. Your back. Your with me now, your safe."

I looked at him hastily, "You lying bastard!" I shoved him off of me and jumped off from the bed walking away from him slowly, "You lied to me!"

My right arm was spoiled in pain from all the sudden action, but I ignored it.

"Jenny what are you talking about?" He asked confused, "I came here to help you… remember?"

"You're a liar! I-I am no angel! I'm a demon… I felt it… a demon inside me!" I shouted, "I can't believe you tricked me! I trusted you!"

"You're not a demon! I could bet my life on that. I'm a demon okay, and I think I would know when I was around other demons…" he stopped widening his eyes realizing he said too much, "Oops…"

"You're a demon?" I said in disbelief. "I-I-I can't believe I even trusted you for a second! I knew it! I knew it! Oh God! I'm a demon… what have I done?"

He yelled over me, "Listen to me Jennifer! I'm a good demon okay? I came here to help you! You probably accidently just experienced one of the bad effects… maybe your intentions backfired… it's okay, it happens! But you are not a demon. You are still an Angel and you just need some more practice."

"I AM NOT AN ANGEL!" I demanded in the harshest tone I've ever used in my life, "An angel would not cause an apocalypse…"

His eyes widened in fear. And without hesitation, I ran past him, down the steps and out the front door.

*The Whistler*

Buffy had come over again about twenty minutes after Jenny ran out while I was grabbing a drink from this dudes fridge to help absorb the new apocalyptic information. I knew she would have more questions, so I waited for her in the only place I knew she would find me. I finally had the opportunity to warn her about the sword, but now… everything was different. I don't know what happened with Jennifer, but I know it wasn't good. She mentioned something apocalyptic and that was what I feared most. It meant Buffy was going to have to kill Angelus, and I don't know if she was ready to make such a drastic move. She pretended to be, but I knew she wasn't. I tried to be as calm as I could so I wouldn't have her adrenaline pumping too early. She needed that extra burst of power saved up for when she was actually fighting. It was important that she believed in herself. It was important that she won.

If the world was going to end, I wasn't going to stick around Sunnydale and wait for it to happen. I wasn't danger guy. I'd help anyone when the Powers that Be instruct me to, but when it came to danger… it was my job to run. I bolted out of the condo shortly after Buffy left and ran my ass to the nearest get away vehicle I could find. I was important in this world, being a messenger and all, and I needed to live. Good bye Sunnydale.  _Good luck to ya kid._   _You and your angel._

*Jenny*

In the passenger seat of my car was a stake and a sweater covered in dried slayers blood. Kendra's blood. My right arm was hurting so furiously that I had no other choice but to use the bloody sweater as a sling. It took a couple tries trying to fasten it with one arm, and every mistake heated me with increased untamed rage. The fury brewing inside me scared me even more. What if I was an evil thing. A useless creature meant to destroy. It was easier to believe than being an angel. I was no help to anyone, no matter how badly I wanted to be. Maybe that was my curse. My best intentions seemed to be the worst ones.

I drove around town thinking about what I should do. How I could fix an apocalypse? The only solution was the most dangerous. It didn't take for me long to accept the consequences. I drove my car to the mansion on Crawford street.

If I wasn't an angel, then I was going to save Rupert dying a demon.


	27. Doomed to be Nothing

*Xander*

As I walked my way from the hospital to the mansion on Crawford Street, I recognized a turquoise colored volts-wagon bug. And driving it, I recognized a friend. Ms. Calendar. I waved my arms as she drove by. It took her a couple seconds before she stopped the car from a few feet ahead of where I stood. Thankfully, now I didn't have to walk the entire distance to the mansion.

I ran to the passenger door of her small car and slid inside. I looked over and Ms. C was sad. She failed at hiding it.

"Hey Ms. C!" I said buckling my seat belt, "You're heading to the mansion right?"

She nodded with a half hearted smile. It hurt me to see her so sad.

"Don't worry. G-man is going to be okay! We're off to save him right now! What was your plan?" I asked hoping she'd let me in.

"Run in, kill them all."

 _Simple, Direct, to the point…_ "I like it!"

"Xander," she said sounding a bit annoyed, "I think you should go home."

"What?" I said surprised, "You can fight only as well as I can with a broken arm. I'm just as crippled as you Ms. C. I'm not leaving!"

"This is dangerous." She persisted.

"I knew that walking here." I said truthfully, "I know what I am doing."

Looking at her from head to toe again, I noticed her excuse of a sling to hold her broken arm. It was just a jacket covered in blood.

"Ms. Calendar…are you alright?" I asked shocked, "Ralph was right, you really otta have that checked out."

Suddenly she was furious, "For the last time, I don't need Ralph's help!"

"Ms. Calendar, what's wrong? Talk to me…" I suggested since she was obviously in the "not fine" category of things.

She loosened her grip on the steering wheel in front of her and still avoided looking my way. Thankfully we weren't driving, or else the car itself would be on an emotional rollercoaster.

"I'm just scared." She finally said, "What if I'm too late? W-what if Rupert is… is… dead? Xander, I don't think I'd have the same self-control to always do the right thing. If it wasn't for Rupert, I might be some kind of evil demon thing! It almost seems better if I never find out the truth. I don't want to hear that Rupert is dead! I'm scared. I'm scared of me. I'm scared of what I would do."

"Hey." I stopped her, "Let me tell you a little something about you. Don't you remember being a computer science teacher? Working hard every single day with your students… even occasionally on Saturdays? Dedicated was the word I remember everyone used to describe you. Somehow you managed to be the hardest class but every ones favorite teacher. You're dedicated to everything you do. You always put your heart into it. You're dedicated to your friends and to the fight to save the world. Even when you hit a couple rough patches, and attacked by a couple demons… you still prevail staying strong. Like when you were a teacher. I don't know about you, but if Buffy says he is still alive, then I believe her. And you should to."

"Dedicated?" She asked sarcastically. I knew Sarcasm meant she was starting to feel better. Her tears began to dry.

"I know you loved my inspirational comic-book speech." I smiled.

She rolled her eyes and started the car, "the comic book master."

"The force is strong with this one." I said as I hovered my hand over her.

For a split second I swore I saw her smile.

*Jenny*

We drove by the mansion and saw a good seven vampires protecting the house. The way the mansion was angled was creating a shadow that gave the vampires the advantage of roaming the front porch for a bit longer than sunrise. Angelus was smart. I alomst expected the vampire guards. Angelus never did anything sloppy.

Xander and I decided to park on a hill hiding behind some trees to wait as we thought out a plan for the vampire guards. We could still see the mansion hiding behind the trees, as well as the walkway to it. Xander mentioned that it would be useful to our plan so we know when Buffy arrives.

"Give me a second to think this through…" Xander said, "We are going to sit here and wait for Buffy. When she gets here, I rescue Giles and bring him back to your car. Then we drive him to the hospital to be with Ralph. And then I still go to school and take my finals?"

"It's a cruel world." I admitted, "Maybe Rupert could write you guys a note to your teachers to hold off on taking your finals for one day. I bet you guys can even get a note from Ralph."

"I love our grown-up friends." He said enthusiastically.

I notice a figure walking on the path behind the trees. I pointed at Xander's window and his eyes followed my finger.

"Isn't that Buffy?" I asked.

He opened the door and practically jumped out of the car, "Yea. I better go. Thanks again Ms. C!"

"Be careful!" I shouted after him.

He slammed the door shut and I watched him constantly tripping on his way down the hill to Buffy. It was hard to see her through the trees but it looked like she was power walking to the mansion. She carried a sword wrapped in a blanket. She was focused. She was serious. She was scared. And I was too.

I sat alone in my hollow car knowing that  _Rupert is going to see me for the first time. He doesn't know I'm back and the thought of him seeing me was scarier than the apocalypse. What if he didn't accept me? I ENDED THE WORLD! He won't forgive me; that's expected._ I added that fact to my lists of guilt and took a heavy tearful breath. _Despite everything, I'm deader now then when I was in the ground. Without Rupert, I am a worthless mistake. He had given me a reason that had been taken away with my death._

_Rupert is not worthless. He had an important meaning in the world which was to save it. Nothing he did was worthless and everything he has done is right. The exact opposite of me._

_I don't care if he never accepts me, I don't care if he hates me, and even if he does not love me… it won't stop me from trying to give him the world. He doesn't have to know I'm still alive. I could hide in the shadows and still give him as much happiness as I could manage. I was in love with him, and I would die for him in a heartbeat if it meant I was saving his life. Rupert owned my life and I don't want it back. My life is put to better use when it's for him and not for me._

As the morning sun rose just a tad higher, I watched carefully as Buffy left Xander and snuck behind a purple curtain that led inside the mansion. This was my cue and it frightened me. I had no idea who would see me, or if I'd survive, but I knew it had to be done.

I left my keys in the ignition for a quick get away, and jumped out of the car. I stumbled my way down the hill to Xander and grabbed the best rock I could find.  _The only weapon I had. I guess I should have thought of that sooner._ Xander was already fighting the vampires Buffy left behind with one arm and a stake. He had just staked a vampire in front of him, but he wasn't noticing the one charging for his back. I would have thrown a rock, but since my right hand was not assemble and I was not left handed, the rock might have hit Xander. So instead I dropped the rock and ran my hardest into the cold blooded vamp. He didn't see me coming. He was a good three feet away from Xander and I slammed into the vampire full force and smashing between us was the layers of his leather and metal buckles. The inertia had my head vibrating and my broken arm was howling in pain as it was now twisted in an uncomfortable position. Despite the vampires size, I knocked him to the ground. We rolled over each other for a second and ended with my back on the ground and his teeth chomping at my face. Before I could let out a scream, the vampire's eyes bulged and he shattered into dust. Xander stood above me lending me a hand back up to my feet, and I struggled moving back up from the floor.

"Thanks." He breathed.

"Ditto." I replied. I looked around noticing that we were the only two on the porch. "Where did they all go? Buffy didn't kill them all…"

"Before she ran inside, she killed three and some ran away. She thought she killed them all so she went inside… but then the other ones charged at me."

I dusted myself off with my left hand and carefully untwisted my right arm from its uncomfortable position. The sling had become twisted and my arm was now even more swollen. Xander breathed in horror at the sight of it, and untwisted the sling for me.

"Some of them could also just be hiding…" I said noticing a tussling bush, "Planning to attack us… later."

"I like the 'wack-a-mole' approach. That means I actually have a chance." He said handing me his stake.

"No Xander." I said pushing it back, "You need this. The coast is clear, go inside and get Rupert. He needs your help right now more than I do. I'll stay here and keep the coast clear for you guys. But Hurry! We don't know how Rupert is doing…"

"Ms. Calendar… you have a rock." He said bluntly, "take the stake. I have Buffy… Buffy has slayer strength and a sword. Xander will be fine. Ms. Calendar needs a weapon in case there are more creeps with pointy teeth."

Hesitantly I took the stake from his hands and nodded in understanding, "Thanks."

He nodded and the fear of ditching me was gleaming in his eye, "Be careful."

"You too." He gave me a friendly smile before he turned away.

As Xander ran inside, my prayers were with him the Rupert was okay. I turned around to face the empty front porch and noticed that it was not so empty anymore. The vampires knew I was alone and I was vulnerable so they came out of hiding. All six of them. With a six to one ratio, I had to fight despite my disadvantage, to protect Rupert. When I took in a deep breath to prepare myself for a battle, the vampires took that as an open invitation. All of them came at me like if I was a threat. I was a worthless cripple. How much of a threat could I be?

I ducked in time to have a vampire trip over me and two others run into each other. My head was stuck between my knees and I felt claws pulling my leg and dragging me out of the vampire pile. I fell on my back and kicked viciously until the forth vamp lost grip of my leg. I gripped the stake in my hand and weakly lunged it into the arm of the vampire with my left hand. It was enough to have him howl in pain.

All of the fighting suddenly started to feel useless. The six vampires had all of the power over me and if I was lucky, I could only dust one before Rupert came limping through. I was in over my head. I could not do this alone. But it was too late now. I had to try.

Noticing I had more power in my legs then I realized, I used that to my advantage. I quickly stood by the nearest small potted plant and kicked it hard into the shin of the forth vampire. He fell to the ground on top of the other vamps that struggled to get back up. I looked to harry vampire five and skeletal vampire six and they both looked at me with a hungry stare. I wished I didn't have to fight them. My arm wasn't ready and my balance was off. I wanted nothing more than a miracle. I wanted them to just disappear. Then like magic they lunged forward, and dusted on their own. Two crossbow bolts fell to the floor in their place.

I, along with the struggling pile of vampires, looked up at the top of the hill to see who shot them and I was shocked when I saw Ralph. He froze and stared at me trying to soak in my crippled image. He let his crossbow fall to his side. When I was about to call out to him, two vamps I had not seen arise from the tangled pile, had tackled me to the floor football style. One of them wasted no time sinking it's hungry teeth into my blood-lusted neck. The other vampire was holding down my squirming legs. As my life and strength started draining away my struggling kicks for freedom became weaker.

*Rupert*

After what I had seen, what I thought was Jenny, I started going insane. I knew the world was going to end but I couldn't find the energy to care. Everything I saw after I saw Jenny, seemed like a hallucination. Drusilla faded away and I started to doze in and out of sleep. I dreamed when I was awake, and all of it felt real.

For a second I looked down a flight of stairs and shock melted me when I saw Jenny on the bottom of those steps. Some different kind of excitement warmed me and I just couldn't hold it in. I dropped everything when I saw Jenny alive again. Just for a second she was just sitting there looking up at me. Crying. I was too.

The next minute I heard shouting that the slayer was here. There was great panic. I could care less. I didn't believe anything I saw anymore. Everything I was starting to see and feel were only things I wanted.

I closed my eyes again and felt Jenny's long slender fingers entwined with mine as we sat in some uncomfortable pews. Her brown eyes sparkled up at me and the brightest smile was in her face. Her side was resting against mine as we sat listening to a preacher in some church. The feel of her against me felt so real that I started to cry. I missed her, and I don't understand how I deserved to have ever met her. I never had enough time with her.  _But the world is ending right? … Maybe I'd get to see her soon. However, she might be some beautiful angel in heaven, while I'm going to hell for ending the world._

Suddenly the vampire guards that were watching over me had left my side to help join the fight outside of the room. Familiar screams of vampires taking their last pointless breath and smashing of expensive objects filled the air. I didn't believe it.  _How could I be expected to believe that my life was saved? Jenny's life was a million times more important than mine, and she still died. How could I have any more of a purpose in this world?_ It wasn't happening. It couldn't be.

My eyes fluttered closed again and I was unexpectedly drowning in my own embarrassment. I could feel my cheeks flushing and my hopes growing. Jenny and I were in my office with the door closed, changing out of our wet clothes. And when I turned around to look at her, I realized she had watched me change out of my shirt. She even had a couple of her blouse buttons opened, and too much of her breasts had been exposed of her for the world to see. I wanted to be the only person to ever see her this way. I reached out and buttoned up the rest of the shirt for her until I was comfortable with the way the world got to see her. She was my special girl, and only I should have these special privileges. The buttons slid through their holes as I buttoned them, and I couldn't help but feel like she was so vulnerable in my hands. That she needed me to do these simple tasks for her, like if I needed to care for her. Like I needed to hold her. I felt I should be the only man to ever touch her this way. By the time I was comfortable with the way my girl looked, the buttons had reached their limit. I wish she could be mine and I could hide her away from the rest of the world. I wished this because if the world saw her, everyone would want the perfection of her. If she saw the world, she would want something better then the librarian that can't stand the obnoxious loud monster trucks. I didn't deserve her as it was, and if I kept her away from the world, then maybe I could have a tiny chance of keeping her for myself.

But now it didn't matter. Her bones are 12 feet underground and she's already part of this earth. No longer on this earth, but buried in it. Part of me was suddenly scared to die. I didn't want to leave this world because I felt like I would be leaving her. – Even if it was just her corpse.

"Giles!" A voice yelled. It sounded like Xander. The room vibrated to his voice and I knew I was awake. However, I wasn't sure if this was another hallucination. Everything I saw felt so real, but it wasn't always. "Giles!" Xander shouted again.

I slowly lifted my head back up to balance between my shoulders. Since my head had been hanging back awkwardly, I could feel a head rush when my head was lifted back up again. The room felt like it was spinning.

"Xander?" I called out to him as I felt his fingers messing with the rope that tied my hands together.

"Can you walk?" He asked with panic and fear trembling in his voice.

_Don't fall for it again. It's what you want remember Rupert? To be saved?_

"You're not real." I said smugly.  _Did they really think I was stupid enough to fall for this again?_

"Sure I'm real." He said quickly as the rope around my hands quickly became looser and looser.

"It's a trick." I replied speaking my thoughts. Xander felt so real that I needed to do what I could to convince myself. "T-te get inside my head. To make me see things I want."

The rope fell from my hands and they were finally free but I didn't move.  _Stupid Xander… that piece of rubbish wants to trick me into… doing something… worse… then the end of the world. This is so incoherent and unnecessary that I can't stand the absurdity of this nonsense._ I didn't move because I didn't want to fall for this absurd trickery again.  _Xander is pathetic if he thinks he can trick me!_

"Then why would they make you see me?" He replied sarcastically now as he stood up next to me.

I thought about it for a second.  _Of all the people that I really wanted to untie me right now… would one of those people really be Xander?_  I looked up at his doom stricken face, and continued to think of how annoying this bloody kid was. _Xander was saving me, which obviously meant we were doomed. When Xander's the hero, it meant there was no hope. Xander was always the symbol of treachery._ He was right _. This is exactly not what I wanted._

"Oh right…" I agreed suddenly realizing I'd been freed, "Let's go."

*Ralph*

When Jenny was knocked to the ground by two vamps, I abruptly noticed what had happened. The vampires had split up into groups of two… two attacking Jenny, and the other two waiting for me in the shadowy playing field. I ran down the hill toward Jenny knowing the two vamps were waiting for me but didn't care because she needed me.

As the two vampires waiting for me started to claw at me, and jumping on me, I pushed them off into the sunlight. One of them blazed up into flames almost instantly while the other learned to back off just a bit and play in the shadows. He showed me his teeth and teased me by continuously attempting to gnaw on my face. With the crossbow in my arms, I swung up my arms and forced the blunt object to his head with enough force to knock him to the ground. Fortunately, his face melded with a rock in the grass on his fall and he was knocked unconscious. I dragged him into the sun and his backside started a fire perfect enough for smores. Soon he was nothing but dust. I ran to Jenny, picking up her stake she dropped on the ground and staked the two vampires in the center of their hearts before they had time to notice me hovering over them. Their dust flew into the grass beside Jenny.

She was unconscious in the grass and blood dribbled down her neck. I fell on my knees by her side and put my ear to her chest. Her heart wasn't beating and she wasn't breathing either. I imagine the two vampires on top of her had cut off her air supply.

Avoiding the fear slowly taking over my heart, I tilted her head back and started to perform CPR. Take one. No difference. Take two. Her lungs were refusing the air. Take three. Her heart was drumless. Take four. I was tearing.

*Rupert*

Xander helped me outside, basically dragging my numb feet, and I did my best to embrace any pain I had to, to get out of here finally. I saw Buffy fighting on my way out and I knew in my heart, that the world wasn't doomed. With Buffy, there still had to be hope.

The blinding sun made it hard for my eyes to adjust to from being inside. Xander was leading me somewhere, and I had to trust him despite my better judgment. I wanted to be fixed. I was insane. I was broken. I was in love, and all of it hurt increasingly as the seconds ticked by. Jenny was gone forever, and I had to deal with it. But the hardest part was… I couldn't.

Finally my eyes adjusted to the light change and I think I was watching another hallucination. My brain couldn't comprehend what I was looking at. Xander froze at my side.

"Is she dead?" Xander shouted not wanting to move any closer to the body.

Some guy with blood on his lips, wearing a doctor uniform, and crying looked up from my girl's cold lips and nodded his head.

"No! Why? She can't be dead!" He cried. He took a breath and looked at Jenny's impossible face again, "But she is…"

_Now I knew I was insane._

"Xander…" I breathed, "I-I can walk now."

He didn't fight me. He was shocked about what he was looking at and his arm that was helping hold me up and fallen to his side. I limped away from Xander and to the new guy I'd never seen before. When I was hovering over him, he looked up at me. I looked at him questioningly wondering why he was in this hallucination. Slowly he stood from his knees to his feet and never looked me in the eyes.

"I-I am so sorry…" he whispered in a light cry, "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. All of this is because of me… and that stupid wish!"

I ignored him and looked down at Jennifer. Her lifeless body was just laying on the ground with blood dribbling from her neck. I was suddenly remembering the image I'd seen when my eyes adjusted to the light; the doctor was touching this dead girl in a way that only I wished to ever touch her.

"Excuse me." I said to him and he looked up at me, "She's mine!"

I didn't feel any pain in my hand when it wacked this man in the jaw, despite the fact that my right hand had two broken fingers. My hand was entirely numb as I beat this man's face into a bloody pulp. Three great punches to his jaw before Xander intervened in my insanity.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" He shouted pulling me away from the man. Xander pulled me hard enough that I quickly lost balance on my bad leg and fell on my ass. Next to me was the hallucination of the girl of my dreams. Perfectly Jenny in the remnants of my insanity.

I reached out and rubbed my finger over her lips. She wasn't going to remember the taste of some random guy's lips. I bent over and kissed her flawless ghost. The taste of her warm lips was familiar, like when she was alive and used to kiss me back. But that was long ago, and when I awake from this hallucination, I'll have to face that fact. Somehow.

Jenny's body suddenly released a cough. I sat up straight. She coughed again and blood dribbled from her lips. I was frightened. If she was waking up from her eternal sleep, that meant she was going to haunt me. It's not possible that she was alive. If she was that meant I was insane. That meant I'd never brake out from my insanity. My love for her was killing me, making me insane. I didn't want to fall helplessly into insanity.

 _I'm sleepy. I haven't slept in nearly two days. It's a dream. It's a dream. I fell asleep._ I thought to myself as a stood back on my feet again closing my eyes not to look at her.

Xander shouted orders as his arm lifted me up again for support. I kept my eyes shut.

"Oh thank God! Ralph get her into the car. It's parked at the top of that hill. Follow Giles and me." Xander started dragging me and whispered in my ear. "Ralph's a good guy. He's a doctor… he's going to make you better. Calm down…"

"Xander don't let me go insane."

"Giles… you're Giles. You're the most sane person I know."

*Xander*

Ralph's face was bruised but he didn't let it bother him. He accepted them and moved on. He carried Jenny in his arms up to the car and I dragged Giles who was struggling because he refused to look at Ms. Calendar.

_How big of a fight did they get into?_

"Why did you come?" I asked Ralph.

"Well you told me where you guys were going and I know I needed to come help."

"What about Willow?"

"Willow's fine. My shift is over." He breathed.

I put Giles into the backseat and Ralph slid Ms. C into the seat beside G-Man. Ms. Calendar was finally breathing at a steady pace. Ralph took the driver's seat and I took the passenger's seat. Thankfully Ms. C left the key in the ignition so it was a fast get away to the hospital. I was sad about leaving Buffy behind, but I knew she could handle herself.

As we drove to the hospital, I watched Giles and Ms. Calendar in the mirror. Ms. Calendar was still asleep and her head had fallen in to his lap. She was sleeping soundlessly in the back seat. Giles had his eyes closed freaking out and looking like he was praying. I had no clue what was going on between them, but it obviously wasn't good.

*Jenny*

Slowly I started to awake to the feel of a bumpy road. I looked up and noticed Ralph driving my car, Xander in the passenger seat and I was resting against somebody's leg. When I looked up and saw Rupert asleep, I freaked out sitting up straight.

"Good morning stranger." Ralph said in a ragged voice. Xander looked back and saw me awake and his eyes lightened with joy.

"What happened?" I asked scared. "Did we win?"

"Well… you're alive… so yea." Xander said.

"We are almost at the hospital…" Ralph butted in, "You and Rupert have a couple war wounds that need mending."

I looked over at Rupert, "He's alive?"

"Yep." Xander said, "He saved your life… I think… it was weird how that actually happened."

The sight of him breathing and sitting right next to me filled me with so much pleasure that tears made a single file line as they fell from my eye.

"What about Buffy?" I asked not taking my eyes off of Rupert.

"She's still fighting."

"What?" My head snapped back to Xander, "You left her?"

"Well… uh…"

"I need to help her!"

"No, not right now Jenny. You feel that tenderness in your neck?" My hand reached up and gently touched my injured skin and I saw the blood on my fingers. I started to remember the vampire biting into my neck. I looked back to Ralph "You can't do anything right now. Let alone fight."

"It doesn't matter. She needs me!" I shouted.

"She needs you alive and well!"

_No. She needs me dead._

Irritated, I knew Xander and Ralph were not going to let me out of this moving car so instead, I closed my eyes, and I knew what I wanted so badly that I knew my power could not go wrong this time. I didn't want the world to end. I wanted Buffy alive. I knew it with my heart and soul. It's what I lived for. I closed my eyes trying to ignore on the bumps in the road and focused. When the moment was right, I saw what Buffy saw and felt what Buffy felt.

I was right. Buffy needed me. She was on the floor, hopeless and pushing against a wall. I could feel her doubt and final good-byes taking place in her head. Angelus hovered over her with a sword in her face knowing how weak she was. Buffy didn't think she could win… and Angelus knew it. I hated Xander and Ralph for pulling me away from the fight, because Buffy needed me right now more than they realized. Buffy needed my help. I looked directly into the face of the demon I had created and I didn't want Angelus to die. I needed to fix him. However, at that moment, I wanted Buffy to live more than I wanted anything else in this stupid world. Buffy was helpless, Angelus was proud, and I was furious. When it was a fight against Angel… it seemed like a fight Buffy was willing to give-up to soon.

"So that's everything, huh?" Angelus said with a smile on his lips. "No Weapons… No Friends… No Hope." His sword danced in front of Buffy's face and I felt Buffy closing her eyes remembering Giles training. Buffy wasn't just going to sit here. If she was going to die, she was going to make sure Giles knew she tried.

"Take all that away… and what's left?"

Buffy knew the sword was going to kill her but she just gave up fighting, closed her eyes, and accepted it. This made me furious. It made me so mad, that it was almost easy to take over Buffy. I used the training she was remembering with Giles and clapped my hands together with the speed of lightening in front of Buffy's face. The sword stuck between our hands.  _Buffy had more left then just weapons, friends, and hope… she had -_

"Me." I replied.

With my awesome new slayer strength, I pushed the butt of the sword into Angelus's shocked face. He wasn't expecting the slayer to continue fighting and I was frustrated that Angelus was the only one that had the power to make Buffy feel so insignificant.  _Just how Ralph made me feel. Ralph always made me feel like I couldn't fight. But look at me now._

I had never used a sword before in my life but because I was Buffy with my new found slayer strength, I was much lighter on my feet and more accessible to the slayers power I now held. I kicked Angelus in the face and swooped down able to snatch a sword and block a couple of Angelus's swipes. I may have shown off a bit at first because being Buffy made fighting so much easier then it was for me and it felt good. From being Bruce Wayne to Superman… the sudden gain of ultimate power is never explained well enough in the comics for one to understand how unstoppable you suddenly feel. How capable.

As I fought, taking a couple of jabs, I could feel Buffy starting to feel more relaxed. She was starting to understand that she had more fight left in her that she wasn't expecting. Every movement was automatic that she didn't have time to question who was actually making the movements. Angelus was just shocked the entire time with how well we fought. I bet I felt exactly how he did. I never fought this well in my life… I mean, have you seen me with a crossbow. I guess I underestimated the power of the slayer.

Gradually I let Buffy take back over her body as we fought because she suddenly had a feel that she could do this. That she could win. With one last round-house kick to Angelus's face that knocked him to the floor, I let Buffy fully take over and I became the one who warned her constantly about where Angelus was moving next. Angelus seemed to notice a sudden switch in the way Buffy fought because suddenly Buffy fought better. She fought not only with power, like I did, but she fought with desire.

Soon enough, Angelus was on his knees, helpless… and as a team, Buffy and I became merciless. We rose our sword up for the last deadly swoop and I quickly remembered that I didn't want Angelus dead… and Buffy wasn't ready for this. Before I had a chance to warn Buffy, Angelus took in a deep gasp for air. We both looked at him and his eyes had a sudden orange-yellow glow. Buffy froze, and watched as Angel's head fell back between his shoulders and he started crying.

Buffy thought he was playing some weird trick on her and she didn't let her sword fall from guard. She looked at Angel confused.

Angel looked up from the floor directly at us, "Buffy?"

At this moment, I had been the only one to notice that my spell had worked. The monster I had created, I finally murdered. Angelus was gone… and Buffy was looking down at Angel. I was positive my spell had worked. I was so positive that I had even started crying without realizing it.

"What's going on?" He asked exhausted.

Buffy slowly started to understand what was happening but wasn't letting herself believe it. She thought that if she did, she'd be falling into a trap. I was so indescribably happy that I had just become a vegetable. Buffy no longer needed to fight, and I was useless inside of her. But I couldn't find the strength to leave. Everything I wanted to accomplish before I died, was happening now, right in front of me.

Angel looked around nervous and finally stood straight on his feet. Buffy let him. "Where- where are we? I- I don't remember…"

"Angel?" Buffy let her sword fall to her side and finally had no choice but to believe what she saw. The love of her life had been returned, and it was because of my spell!

"You're hurt…" Angel reached out to Buffy's arm and then pulled her closely for a hug. Buffy took a second before she embraced it. It was so hard for her to comprehend that it was real. "Oh, Buffy! God… I feel like I haven't seen you in months. Oh, God, everything is so muddled. I- Oh." He kissed Buffy's shoulder and I felt Buffy's veins swim like a fish in the sea. His touch excited her. "Oh Buffy." Angel breathed.

Buffy was crying just like me. To the sound of rumbling… we both looked up and saw Acathla opening his mouth. The portal was already opened… and it just hit me where Angelus had gotten his sword from. He pulled it out of Acathla. I gasped returning back to my original body.

_I didn't know what that meant, the portal opening, was it too late? Were we doomed… or was there a chance?_

Slowly I let my eyes flutter open and found myself in a white room with Ralph hovering over me, injecting a substance into my I.V. My I.V. was filled with blood, I figured because I had lost so much of it. The I.V. was attached to my left hand instead of my right and Ralph must have given me something because my broken right hand was numb instead of drowning in pain.

"Rupert is fine." Ralph said without looking at me, but knowing I was awake, "He's sharing Willow's room. I didn't think you wanted them to see you so I brought you in here. I have the nurse patching up Rupert's two broken fingers. He has a limp in his right leg, but that will go away with rest. Nothing in his leg was broken. The rest of him is just cuts and bruises." He smiled, "Thanks to you. I mean I don't know what you did, but he could have died down there… and you saved him so trust me when I say that he is lucky to have you looking out for him. You have the same cuts and bruises as he does… maybe more - "

I cut him off, "Ralph…"

"Yea?" he asked.

"You- you know Acathla better than me. If the sword has been pulled and Acathla already opened his mouth… is there any way to close it before the apocalypse?"

"Oh yea." Ralph nodded walking away to clean up his tools, "The blood of the worthy person is what opened the portal so the blood of the same person can close it. If your slayer can kill that person that pulled the sword, then Acathla will close up again. You don't need to worry… if the situation comes down to that, your slayer must already know. I mean she has Mr. Giles who probably researched everything and anything already. The nerd the saves the world with his information."

"Oh." At that moment. Any hope I had, Any dream I dreamt, and anything I Was suddenly vaporized. I was nothing. I had no thoughts. I had no feelings. I had no words. I always try… I always fail and drag the people I love with me. This meant Buffy had to kill Angel. Angelus should be sent to hell, but because of me, Angel was. A good man. Buffy, a great slayer, has to kill the love of her life. The world ending seemed like a better scenario. But what did it matter… what I wanted was not always best. I was nothing. I was dead.

*Ralph*

Jenny raised from her bed without looking at me.

"I need to use the restroom." She said emotionlessly.

"Oh… right… okay." I pulled her I.V. out from behind the hospital bed so she could move it around with her to the restroom, "You don't need to worry about the kids walking by… they are a floor below us."

"Okay." She replied.

I looked back at her and she was at the table observing all of the hospitals instruments. I walked to her side dragging the I.V. with me, and handed it to her.

"Thanks."

Her head was down, hair was in her face, and she didn't even look at me when she grabbed the I.V. I was going to ask her what was wrong but she already shoved her way around me and out of the room. I looked back at my tools wondering what she found so interesting. I saw nothing special about them. I continued to pack them up and put them away. As I did I noticed one object was missing from the little table.

It wasn't my usual room so the original owner must have lost it or misplaced it. I wrote a note and placed it on the desk:

_Sloppy. Never misplace any of the knife instruments. You could get in a lot of trouble for that. Just a heads up. – Ralph_


	28. One Demon at a Time

***Rupert***

Slowly I began to wake up again surprised that I had even fallen asleep. I found myself in an uncomfortable hospital bed, and a doctor was carefully placing splints on my broken fingers. I groaned tilting my head toward the doctor and avoiding the sunrise peeping through the window.

"Where is Xander?" I asked with a cough stuck in my throat.

He looked at me for a second to take notice that I was awake then looked back at my fingers. I realized his face was swollen and covered in bruises.

"I sent all of the kids home. Including Xander." He replied roughly. "They said they had finals tomorrow and they needed as much rest or studying before they take off for school. I wrote them all doctor notes to postpone their finals for a day and only the red head refused to take one. I can't believe the red head even felt healthy enough to go home."

"Willow?" I responded recognizing the nickname, "How are they?"

"Willow had the worst injury. Hard blow to the head and we were unsure if she was going to awaken. She did eventually." He stood from his seat and let my fingers fall back to their natural position. He had finished putting the splints on. "Xander had a broken arm, and the other two… red head boy with the red head girl and Xander's high fashioned diva, they were fine. But I did hear about one tragedy. A girl died… one of your friends. Strong. Not Buffy…"

"Kendra…" I breathed broken hearted. A slayer.  _I better be the one to break the news to her watcher. God that's awful. How do you even start? If anyone ever rang me up to tell me that Buffy had been killed… I doubt there was a comforting way to soften the blow. No matter what, part of me would die on the inside. No matter how it's worded through the phone._

I looked at the doctor again suddenly curious about how he seemed to know so much about my friends.

"Do I know you?"

The doctor turned around from the counter top with a bottle of disinfectant and cotton balls in his grip. He almost started to laugh as he sat beside me.

"Well… you bashed in my face pretty good a couple minutes ago…"

I looked closer at his face and started to remember the incident. I felt horrible.

"I apologize." I said as he started dabbing wet cotton balls on a cut on my head. "I was hallucinating."

"Yea..." He had a serious look on his face and never looked me directly in the eyes, "…hallucinating." He continued to dab my head with the disinfectant which burned, and it began to irritate me again.

"How much longer will this take?" I asked, too exhausted to hide my annoyance.

He seemed nice about it still, "Not long."

I closed my eyes resting back into the rough hospital bed.  _Good,_ I thought. As I tried to relax I got this irritation in trying to figure out why sleeping in the hospital bed felt so familiar. Maybe I just hit my head. I mean… I was already going crazy with hallucinations. What did it matter that a hospital bed suddenly felt like my only place of comfort?

* * *

**Author note: For next P.O.V. Underlined = Jenny thoughts. _Italic = stranger thoughts._**

* * *

*No particular point of view*

Cold. Cold tip against her skin. Just a little press and the cold tip will drown Jenny in a red river. Then she will be cold. For good. No more blood. No more life for Jenny. The world will be at peace again with out her. She knows that for sure.

_But the world can never truly be at peace, with or without you..._

"Shut-up!" Jenny shouted to the voice in her head, "Shut-up!"

Jenny's shouts echoed around her. She was on the roof of the hospital looking over the edge. Her bare feet had toes hanging barely over the surface of the building. If the knife didn't work, all she had to do was jump down the thirteen story building. That should be enough.

Jenny's eyes were bloodshot red. Tears occasionally fell, but she was too tired to notice. She wanted to get this over with. She was really tired. But some stupid voice in her head was trying to convince her otherwise. It was a strangers voice. Jenny couldn't notice the difference from her voice and a strangers. She wasn't in the right mind, standing on a roof and all.

I've made too many mistakes. I-I can't live this way. Something always tumbles over when I do anything. I already hurt somebody! How am I supposed to live with that? How am I supposed to jump back into Buffy's life after what my curse did to her? - Jenny looked over the edge watching the empty morning roads beginning to fill up. - I'm doing this. - she thought to herself - It's what's best.

_If you die, we're just going to bring you back to life again. Might as well save yourself the trauma and pain of falling off a building. You should try living for once. Stop trying to die._

"No! It's been a mistake... I'm a mistake!"

_It's not a mistake. You're an angel. You're needed._

"Shut-up! Shut-up!" Jenny cried. Her grip on the knife tightened. Her grip was weak. Her body was exhausted. "I am not an angel! Stop saying that! An angel wouldn't kill their friends! An angel would be able to take care of the people they love!"

_Like Rupert?_

The name shocked Jenny a bit. She was talking about Buffy. She had forgotten about Rupert.

 _Rupert._  The voice said the name again.

Just the sound of his name made Jenny fall to her knees. Her cries echoed around her. Rupert made her weak. She just wanted to rest. Most importantly, she wanted not to love him. She was weak, and she wanted his strength. Jenny needed him, but she didn't want to be the reason for his pain. She already was. She was restless.

Jenny laid herself out on the edge of the roof as if she was going to fall asleep there and hopefully roll off the edge as she slept.

"Give me one good reason I should live for him, huh? Want me to come back in his life? Give him more stress?"

_He loves you._

She gasped to words she needed to hear for so long. The words she wanted to be true. She knew they weren't. Just a silly dream. Rupert couldn't love her. Not after everything.

_Don't die for love Jenny. It won't change the ending of Romeo and Juliet. You die, you both die. Trust me._

"What do you want me to do?"

_For starters, not jump off a building. Rupert and all of Sunnydale will see it in the news: Previous dead teacher jumped off a building! That will cause the Scooby gang a whole bunch of unneeded distractions. Not to cause Rupert more stress. You said you didn't want that right?_

"Yea but-"

_If you want to help, you do the logical thing. Help. Buffy doesn't have to know. As long as you know. You're the one that needs to understand that you aren't useless. By helping Buffy, you'll surprise yourself. Trust me._

Jenny finally started to understand she was not the only one talking in her head. She moved herself away from the edge and turned around in hopes of discovering who she was talking to. No one. Nobody was behind her, only in her head. She wasn't frightened. She was suddenly hopeful.

"Why me?" Jenny asked, "Why am I the slayers angel?"

_The slayer still needs her angel as long as she is alive._

The voice avoided the question, and left Jenny only more curious. As long as Buffy is alive, so is Jenny. Jenny looked over the edge of the building to see morning arouse from a sunrise, and people finally starting their day. She had a twinkle in her eye that couldn't go unnoticed. Maybe Jenny was a little happy that she was going to live. Maybe she suddenly realized that she has a second chance in life to make everything better. Or maybe that twinkle was caused by her sudden sense of purpose; something she's been lacking for too long.

Her sight glazed over as she stood watching a bus that was stopped at a stop sign. The bus wasn't moving and hadn't been for an abnormal amount of time.

 _Get on that bus_. - The stranger repeated in her head.

Jenny practically turned and ran as fast as she could out of the hospital. She had something to hurry for; her purpose was calling. Once Jenny had reached outside on ground level, she ran to the bus like if it could take off at any moment. The bus wasn't moving. She saw the doors were frozen half closed so without losing speed, she jumped between them. Now she was on the bus. As she ran up the stairs of the bus, she was a little frightened to see everyone frozen on the bus. The driver had his hand on the door handle, the passengers were in frozen positions talking to each other, reading a book, or sleeping. Jenny slowly walked passed them taking a long stare as she passed the odd scene. She decided to sit in the empty seat in the back row. Once she sat, the bus vibrated, there was chatter throughout the bus, and the driver finished closing his doors and started to drive. Jenny froze in a moment of shock. None of the people on the bus had even realized they were frozen.

As the wheels of the bus went round and round, Jenny noticed a small back square in the seat beside her. She picked it up and discovered someone had left their wallet. She opened it up to find a name, and was surprised yet again when she saw her face on the I.D. card. The wallet was hers. She opened it up and found more cash than she ever remember owning, drivers license, and a note.

She pulled the note out of the wallet and opened it up. Her fingers carefully smoothed out the folds of the paper as she read _: To Jenny, Thank you for not jumping off a cliff. It would be appreciated if you never tried anything so drastic again. Now I'm about to inform you of something rather alarming, but you may go about the situation in anyway you like. The reason you are on this bus is because Buffy is running away to Los Angeles. She will be arriving on the bus about the time you finish this letter. You know what happened, so I think you could understand why Buffy feels the need to get away. We need you to watch over her. The slayer can take care of herself, but even in a situation like this she needs that extra pair of eyes looking out for her. If you find her and want to bring her back to Sunnydale, fine. If you want Buffy to make the decisions, thats fine also. As long as you are watching her, we know she is safe. This wallet should be enough for you to also start new. Now, you have a hotel room waiting for you exactly across from Buffy's. I figure you have everything you need so carry on. From TPTB. (The Powers That Be)._

Although Jenny hid herself under the hood of her jacket, the twinkle in her eye couldn't go unnoticed. Jenny read the last line, the bus stopped, and the doors opened.

*Giles*

After I had gotten out of the hospital, I went straight to school. The kids were stressed out over Buffy and where she was. Unfortunately, she was not present this morning and we were unaware of her whereabouts, or even if she was okay. It was rather a stressful situation. I have faith Buffy was alive. However, It was harder to believe she was alright. I just prayed that she was being watched over. Buffy is always going to need some kind of watcher to look out for her. It hurts me deep inside when I know that watcher can't always be me. I wish I knew where she was. Or if she was alright.

Another person not here was Jenny. Someday I have to face that she never will be. I can't undo what has been done, and I hate myself for it. She probably hates me for letting her die. She probably hates me for not being able to save her and I shall live with that guilt forever. I blame myself entirely for her death, and I think that's what was turning me insane. I loved her, and I killed her. I could feel insanity creeping in.

Jenny is dead.

*Ralph*

The world as we know it almost ended.  _Woah._

*Buffy*

Angel is in hell when it's Angelus that should suffer.

*Xander*

Buffy is gone.

*Jenny*

And it's all my fault.

Buffy sat in an empty row in the middle of the bus without a glance in my direction. Both of us broken, both of us scared, and both of us leaving Sunnydale.

_It's all my fault, but I'll do my best._


	29. Aberrations

Joyce took a blow to the heart that wouldn't heal. Her daughter ran off, and there was simply nothing she could do about it. Her first instinct was to call the police but Gee... they're already out after her daughter. Besides, after a night like last night, Ms. Summers learned exactly how useful the police of Sunnydale are.

She made herself a pillow of tissues and curled up on the couch. Any knock on the door could be the daughter that changed her mind and returned home. But Joyce knew her daughter. When she set her mind to something, she would never turn around and go back. Still, she had to cling to any amount of hope that she could.

Around Mid-day, a knock was heard. She sprang to her filial clarion and answered the door. It was just Mr. Giles. He looked as if he hadn't slept in days. His face was bruised. He had obviously gotten into a fight. Fingers were broken, and he seemed to have a limp in his walk.

"I came to check in on Buffy..." he explained, "She wasn't at school today, and I thought it was very important I checked in on her. Make sure she's alright?"

"She's not here." It was the first thing Joyce had said all day since she read Buffy's note. The words hit her hard, "Buffy's gone."

Mr. Giles heart pounded. Joyce fell to the floor.

Joyce's eyes fluttered open and she found herself back on her couch, as if seeing Mr. Giles at her door was just a dream. She looked around and was surprised to she him sleeping in the sofa chair. The note Buffy wrote was in his hand, and a wet cloth in the other. Joyce's head felt moist... he must have been keeping her cool after she fainted.

She sat up from the couch, rubbed her eyes and walked over to the kitchen. She prepared Mr. Giles a snack. She always made Buffy's friends a snack.

Buffy's friends knew more about Buffy's life then Joyce ever did. The thought suddenly tortured Joyce. She started hating the man in her living room. She brought out a plate of cheese and crackers, and dropped it on the glass table beside Mr. Giles. The sound of the slam woke Rupert up in the blink of an eye.

"What the hell did you say to my daughter?" Joyce screamed, "What did you tell her?"

"Ms. Summers, I know the information you absorbed must have been shocking... but I can assure you..."

"Assure me? You can assure me?" Joyce stole the letter back from Rupert, "According to this, you are part of the few that have been lying to me! I can assure you Mr. Giles that you can't assure me of anything!"

Rupert stood from he sofa chair, "I'm sorry."

"Where is my daughter?"

"I don't know."

"That's the wrong answer." She said firmly, "Mr. Giles, you are going to find my daughter."

"I am."

Joyce continued with fists at her sides, "Not only are you going to find her Mr. Giles but you are not going to lie to me any more. It's about time you explain to me what happened last night, and you will explain to me why you are a bigger influence on my daughter than her own mother."

Rupert wanted Ms. Summers to sit down but she refused, "I have been sitting down for to long." was her response.

"I'll do everything I can to find her Ms. Summers. But before I continue I need you to know that Buffy is an extremely capable girl. I doubt she will get into trouble that she can't handle."

"Mr. Giles... who are you?"

"According to the letter, your daughter did tell you about her being a slayer, yes?"

Joyce grabbed a slice of cheese from the plate she brought out and nodded yes to Giles question.

"I am her watcher." he said a feeling ashamed of his title. "A watcher guides his slayer... trains her so she's is fit for any battle against demons."

"Demons! Battle against demons!" Joyce ended up sitting down wolfing down more of her crackers, "What do you mean demons? That's the idea I can't wrap my head around. My daughter is a demon killer."

"Demons, Vampires, Werewolves, Magicks, slayers... it's all real."

"It's weird..." Joyce almost started crying, "because there is no part of me that disagrees. Mr. Giles, everything you're saying is insanity! Why do I believe you?"

"Because Buffy told you first." Rupert carefully sat beside Joyce and she didn't protest, "I think when you live in Sunnydale long enough, odd occurrences don't seem so... odd."

Joyce buried her face in her hands, "I should never had moved to Sunnydale... maybe I should have taken my cousins offer to work in Cleveland!"

"Err... actually..."

Joyce interrupted, "God this is all my fault! When Buffy told me, I reacted badly... I couldn't handle it, and because of me she left!"

"I don't believe that Joyce." Rupert said lightly patting her back, "You may have acted rash, but thats to be expected. Buffy acted the same, I imagine, when she discovered her destiny as well. The reason Buffy left, I believe, has way more to do with the events that took place last night rather than your personal encounter."

"Destiny." Joyce repeated, "You say destiny like my daughter is just your puppet."

"She is not my er... puppet." Rupert argued, "She is very strong minded. When she believes something, she fights for it, and I have very little say in what she fights for. She hardly ever listens to me. If she did I'd demand her to come back to you this very moment, but I can't. I promise I'll find her, starting tonight."

"What happened last night?" Joyce said finally sitting up straight.

"Buffy stopped an apocalypse." Rupert put bluntly, not sure he should be adding any more than that. Joyce wanted to know the truth, but Rupert could tell she wasn't in the proper mood to be handling it well. "And it's not the first one she's prevented."

"Your saying my daughter saved the world? ...and it's not the first time?" Joyce took a sip from her water bottle and looked at it,  _I need something way stronger than this._

Rupert nodded, "She is a hero, I guess you could say."

Joyce stood up and glared at Giles before heading into the kitchen, "I don't quite care what you think she is Mr. Giles! I want her back!"

Rupert stood up too and headed to the door, "I'll start searching."

_And I'll start drinking._

"I'll call if I find anything. Best you stayed home... get some rest." Rupert looked at her softly.

Joyce was easily angered when she thought Rupert was criticizing her ability, "You do your job, and I'll do mine."

Rupert in understandings with her hostility, nodded his head once, told her to take care, and left. When Rupert shut the door, Joyce had already started crying. What was she kidding? What was her job... a mother? She already failed at that times ten.  _And Mr. Giles..._ she thought, _I may not know everything about Buffy and being a slayer, but he was her watcher. Still not entirely sure what that means, but guessing by the job title I believe he failed her too. How are we supposed to find her? We failed her._   _Not just her mother, but her "_ Watcher _."_ She hated his job title. Joyce was supposed to be Buffy's "Watcher": preparing her for the conflicts of the world. Mr. Giles rudely swopped in and took that job from her. He shrewdly swooped in a stole her life.

However, Joyce couldn't hate him as much as she envied him.

Rupert went around town on his desperate search for Buffy. Before he had visited Joyce, he had talked to principal Snyder and quickly learned he wasn't going to be any help. The idea of Buffy missing was a delight to him, in fact he expelled her. Rupert didn't tell Joyce because that should be the least of her worries. After his visit with Joyce, he went to the police but they were as useless as jaw snapping gum. He revisited the tomb of Acathla and nothing was left but rubble and the demonic statue. Next he broke into Angel's old apartment, and it was just as empty as the last spot. He couldn't think about where else to go... his last thought was the hospital. He went to visit the doctor he had not grown so fond of in the short time he's known him.

"I'm looking for my friend... Buffy," Rupert explained to Dr. Ralph as he followed him down the hallway, "I know you said you hadn't seen her when her friends were here but I need to know if she's come in since."

Ralph looked up at him exhausted. "She hasn't come in. I've been waiting for her, I figured you guys would be bringing her in soon for a check up."

"I'm sorry but I've been meaning to ask," Rupert said suspiciously, "Do I know you?"

Ralph led Rupert into a conference room for privacy, "What do you mean?"

"Well you seem to know a lot about me, and what I do. Why were you at the mansion last night?"

Ralph set his clip board down on the table and rubbed his headache. He tried to think of a lie but the only thing that could come to mind was the truth.

"I'm a gypsy." Rupert froze.

"Oh." The thought of Jenny crossed his mind and he sat in a chair next to the table. He's knees had become weak.

Ralph continued, "I found out the world was ending and I wanted to help. I fought off a couple of vamps before you came around and pummeled me."

"Sorry." Rupert said quickly.

"You already said sorry, and you shouldn't have to. You saved the damn world, so I give you a get out of jail free card." Ralph spoke fast, "Look, if your friend Buffy comes around, I'll give you a call I promise, but I'm terribly busy at the moment and need to get back to work. I promise I won't get in your way anymore."

Rupert took in a sharp breath of air and mumbled something Ralph couldn't comprehend.

"What?"

"Did you know her?" Rupert asked solemnly.

"Who?"

"Jennifer Calendar." He looked up into Ralph's eye in the little light of hope that he knew her.

If Ralph lied, he knew he would get caught. "Yea, I knew her."

"Were you guys friends?"

Ralph chuckled.  _More like enemies, "_ Yea. We were friends. _"_

Rupert teary eyed smiled a bit and looked up at him, "I was in love with her. I-I hate to admit it but I still am."

Ralph sat in the open chair next to him.

"I wish Jenny was still here. She'd know what to do." Rupert continued, "T-t-this may sound a bit strange but in my hallucination this morning, before I beat you into a pulp, I saw her with you... she was dead, but I saw her with you. I'm not a gypsy, but does that mean anything?"

Ralph bit his bottom lip and shook his head avoiding Rupert's gaze, "No I don't believe it does."

Nodding in agreement, Rupert felt silly for even asking. He got up from his seat and tried to swallow his tears before they swallowed him.

"Well I better keep searching..." his green eyes were so sad, "thanks for your help. Here is my card... call me if anything turns up."

Rupert handed Ralph his library number and Ralph quickly stopped himself from saying that he already had it. He stopped Rupert once before his way out, "Hey look... you need anything, any help... I got your back."

Rupert nodded as thanks, and hurried out of the hospital. He wanted to go somewhere he could relieve his emotions. His car was a great place to cry. He drove back to the high school just when the last bell rang. The Scoobs were soon to meet him in the library for a Buffy update. When Giles had told them about the note, Xander became furious that Buffy would do that to her own mother. When he explained that Buffy was expelled, Willow became frightened. Finally when he explained that he was going to spend his every waking breath looking for her, Cordy was the only one that spoke.

"Giles, no offense but your not going to find her." She said honestly, "This is Buffy we are talking about, and you have absolutely no clue on this planet where she is. It's not like she left any hints. She could be anywhere from Sunnydale to the north pole! Your not going to find her until she wants to be found."

"Well, at least I'll be ready when she wants to be found." Rupert replied, "I understand your worries, but I think the best we can do while she is gone is make sure the underworld doesn't realize she is gone. If the word gets out that there is no slayer guarding the hell mouth..."

"There is hell to brake loose." Willow finished.

"This is an interesting thought," Xander started, "but what if we let the underworld know? There would be hell in Sunnydale, Buffy will hear about it and come running back."

"But then what if she takes off again... besides, people would die." Willow shook her head, "It's not worth the risk."

"Okay. I know the answer to this!" Cordy said surprised she thought of an idea, "Since Giles is old and has connections, he can be in charge of finding Buffy. Since us three are young and more spry than Giles, we can do the midnight slayage for Buffy. It's like Buffy is never gone while we find her."

"And when you ignore Cordy's subtle insults, that is a pretty good plan." Xander replied.

"I don't like the idea of you three hunting vampires every night. It's dangerous."

"I'll bring Oz!" Willow added, "Four versus one... we stand more of a chance. And on the nights Oz goes all 'Grr...' you can take his place and watch over us."

"But who could we trust to watch Oz?"

Cordy flawed Willow's plan. The people they all thought of to watch Oz were either dead, shaky on trust, or gone. Willow had lost her small grain of hope and went back into the worried mood for her friend. When Giles noticed that this task gave them some small amount of hope, he couldn't take it away from them.

"I could watch Oz." Rupert exclaimed, "I think I trust you guys fighting when Oz is out with you. When Oz isn't around, I insist you don't go out hunting without him. Understood?"

Willow jumped up, "Totally understood. No Oz, no slaying."

"Wait another flaw!" Cordy interrupted, "Sorry, it's not that I am not appreciative of all the times you've saved my life and all, but I'm not hanging out with you guys every day this summer. I actually have friends I want to keep."

"Oh. That's fine Cor, you aren't that big of help on the battle field anyway."Xander replied.

Rupert didn't say anything. He smiled in agreement with Xander.

"It's not like your any better!" She shot back at him.

"If you can excuse me... I have a phone call to make." Rupert said heading into his office.

Cordy and Xander continued their debate as Giles made a call... to Ralph.

"I know I just saw you a couple of moments ago, but I do have a favor to ask of you already. It's dreadfully important."

"What is it?" Ralph questioned.

"I need you to watch over the kids."

Rupert explained to Ralph about how the kids plan to slay in cemetery grounds every night and he won't be around to keep them safe. He wanted Ralph to keep his distance, but possibly watch over them and only step in if their lives were in mortal danger that they couldn't handle. Rupert was suddenly realizing how much he was asking from Ralph, and he was surprised with how quickly he agreed to the task. Rupert thought there was more to him then he was letting on, or maybe Ralph really was a man that was dedicated to helping the good fight. Rupert couldn't be sure. All he knew was, he oddly trusted him.

*Los Angeles*

As soon as Buffy and Jenny arrived to Los Angeles, a group of people had walked off the bus. Buffy was too entangled into her own thoughts to realize that a woman had been following her. Ms. Calendar kept her distance, she knew Buffy was a slayer and would notice anything unusual, so she kept an extra safe distance. When Buffy walked up to her hotel lobby, Jenny walked across the street to her own. She got her key under the reservation the Powers that Be made for her, and headed up to her room.

It was small, and gray. A black wired bed right next to the dusty window, and a bathroom that contained an old english tub.  _Welcome home._ Jenny thought to herself. She set her wallet onto her bed, and opened the dusty window. As she did, she saw across the street that Buffy was doing the same. Jenny could see Buffy clearly, and if Buffy took the time to look across the street, she would be able to see Ms. Calendar as well. But Buffy didn't take the time to look.

Jenny's sadness had not faded, and her sleep would go untaken care of. She started the bath tub and soaked herself in the old english tub. Every time she got tired of crying she dunked her whole head under water and counted to ten. She replayed this routine a couple times until she became tired of her pathetic self. She wrapped a towel around her body and headed toward the phone. She needed to make a call to Xander before he fell asleep.

*Xander*

Upon arriving to my house I was not surprised to see that my parents were not home. I tossed my backpack onto the couch and sat beside it. I had to think of how I would break the news to Ms. Calendar. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone scratching at my basement door.

 _Ms. Calendar!_ I jumped from the couch and ran to the door. The door had been locked from the outside. "Damn it! Ms. Calendar I'm here! The Door! Im.." I swung the door open and saw no one at the door. I paused a bit shocked before I looked around, "Ms. Calendar...?"

No one responded. When I was about to take a better look inside, a small bark came from my feet following paws clawing at my ankle. I looked down and saw a puppy. An adorable little terrier the size of a bread basket played with my feet.

"Ms. Calendar?" I said even more confused.  _She turned into a puppy?_

I reached down to pet the teacher. All was silent as I tried to peace together WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED! "Ms. Calendar! Not that your not adorable... but why are you 10 times smaller and covered in fur?"

All I could hear was the sound of the puppy whining as it played with my ankle. I reached down and picked up Ms. Calendar under my arm and continued to massage her back. Her fur slid through my fingers and she loved the attention. I walked back into the living room to give Giles an unusual call. I mean sure... once I was a hyena... but I wasn't actually a hyena. Ms. Calendar's the actual thing!

I reached for the phone and before I touched it, the phone started ringing. "Eeep!" The surprise of the unexpected sound caught me off guard. I dropped Ms. Calendar as fear vibrated through me until I finally realized the phone was nothing to fear. Ms. Calendar growled and walked away as I reached for the phone again.

"I'm sorry Ms. C!" Xander said apologetically, "The phone... it caught me off guard."

The puppy barked.

"Such harsh language Ms. Calendar!" Xander replied sarcastically. He finally answered the ringing phone hoping it was Giles. "Hello?"

"Hey Xander, it's Ms. Calendar." a voice said through the phone.

"Oh, hey Ms. Calendar!" Xander did a double take from the puppy, "Wait... Ms. Calendar?"

"Yea. Sorry I'm not at your house... actually, I'm not coming back."

Xander, still confused, was unsure what to say, "W-what happened?"

There was a long silence as Xander waited for an answer. He could only hear Ms. Calendars breathing. "Ms. Calendar?"

"I, uh... I just needed some time. Alone. By myself for a while. I'm in Los Angeles and I plan to stay here for a long while. I'm safe. Everything is okay with me but I wanted to call you to fill you in. I-I won't be coming back anytime soon."

"Ms. Calendar... what ever Giles and you fought about..."

"We didn't fight." Ms. Calendar cut in, "This isn't about him. Just... don't tell him ok? Don't tell anyone. I need some time away from everyone right now. I just need to be away."

"I won't tell anyone if you promise me I get to visit you... and make sure your telling the truth about everything being okay."

"I promise." She said immediately. Xander understood the fear behind her actions. She really did not want Giles to know where she was, but Xander still had no idea why.

"Ms. Calendar, I also have some bad news..." Xander started, voice a little shaky.

"Is everyone okay?"

"It's Buffy..." he explained, "she took off. No one knows where she went. No one even knows if she's okay. She left her mom a note, but didn't say where she disappeared to."

"Oh." Ms. Calendar let out a sigh of relief undetectable by Xander, "She is going to be okay Xander. Maybe she also just needs some time."

"No. This is deeper then that. Buffy just ran off and left us with out explanation... with out anything other than a stupid note. She's being so...!"

"-Xander please!" Jenny said almost crying, "She just needs some time."

"Ms. Calendar..." Xander a bit thrown off by her sadness took a moment to realize she was taking the news rather strangely. She seemed to be okay with the absence of Buffy, but Xander knew he had to be wrong, "what is it?"

For a moment there was nothing. The puppy walked out from Xander's kitchen with some unknown creamy substance mudded into his whiskers. He looked up at Xander from his feet and wagged his happy little tail.

"Ms. Calendar you there?"

The dogs ears pricked up and it's tail froze. To the sound of one familiar name made the puppy anxious with excitement. He began barking and running in circles around Xander's feet. The barks echoed, and the puppies circle running almost made Xander want to fall over.

Ms. Calendar heard the noise through the phone.

"Oh. Xander! I'm sorry! I totally forgot."

Xander was trying to hush the dog while holding the phone to his ear, but the dog became persistent at nipping at the phone.

"There was a lost puppy outside your house today. I brought him in... I swear if I knew I was going to take off I wouldn't have brought him in the house. I'm sorry..."

"It's fine. I mean, how can I be mad you saved a puppy?" Xander was struggling to pull the phone cord out of the puppies mouth, "You know... this dog really misses you though."

"If you visit soon, bring him and I'll take him off your hands."

"I sure will." Xander said finally able to get the cord out of the dogs mouth. The dog stopped barking and growling and finally sat again at Xander's feet. It's happy tail was wagging.

Jenny relaxed when she sat in her bed with the phone still pressed against her ear. She looked at the time, and knew Xander had to get to bed. "Hey Xander, I'll do my best to help find Buffy, but please... don't tell anyone where I am, or that Im alive even."

"Of course."

"I'll start my search tomorrow." Ms. Calendar lied. "I'll call you tomorrow."

She looked out her window and saw Buffy's light go out across the street. Buffy had gone to bed. That was a good idea for everyone.

Ms. Calendar hung up the phone, and Xander yawned willingly giving up to the long lost sleep. Who was Xander to study for finals after everything that had happened? Maybe saving the world will bring him some good karma and help him pass with at least a D. Xander walked into his room turning the lights off in the empty house. The puppy still sat on the floor wagging it's tail in the dark and licking the frosting off his face.

_Soon she and I will be all alone, and away from her protective new "family". Soon I will hand Janna over to D'hoffrin and I will become as powerful as a vengeance demon. Soon this will all be over!_

The puppy gave a soft bark, as if a giggle and followed Xander into his room.


	30. The Reference List

Jenny woke up bright and early way before Buffy even started dreaming. Buffy hadn't been able to sleep, and had been frightened to. A slayer knows when the nightmares will be to much to handle. However, Buffy needed rest and she would just have to endure it. She stayed up as late as she could and when the sun started to rise, Buffy's eyes began to shutter closed.

Almost hyper on such little rest, Ms. Calendar found herself trying to plan Buffy's stay in Los Angeles. She knew there was no way the teenager would have enough money to support herself for as long as she needed, and living in a shoe box was not an option for Buffy that Ms. Calendar would allow. If Buffy wanted to be away, Buffy needed to work long enough to keep herself fed until she was ready to return home.

Jenny hunted down the Los Angeles Times newspaper in her hotel lobby and opened straight to the employment opportunities. Grabbing a quick cup of coffee and plain bagel, Ms. Calendar made her way across the street to the shelter of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The inside of Buffy's cheap hotel smelt like wet dog and smoke. She held her nose and took the stairs up to Buffy's floor. Elevators were unavailable. The name of this broken down mouse trap worried Jenny even more than the stench, Angels Cove.  _As if Angels haven't done enough to the poor girl already._

Three flights of stairs and one hallway later, Ms. Calendar reached where Buffy's room equaled up to be. Directly across from her own. Ms. Calendar looked down at the newspaper in her hand and gently laid it down in front of Buffy's door. It was already open up to the page about job opportunities and she hoped that Buffy wouldpick it up and realize that she needed the cash.

After Ms. Calendar's small gesture of help, she disappeared back into the shadows of the stairwell. Leaving Buffy never to know about her guardian.

Returning to her cozy room, she felt guilty to have such a warm and welcoming place to stay when Buffy had to deal with the inconveniences of her own. Jenny knew she didn't deserve it, or much less enjoyed the company of her luxuries and wished she could switch rooms with Buffy, whom may take more joy out of it then Jenny could. But their was nothing Jenny could do about that. There was hardly anything she could ever do.

She sluggishly moved herself over to the phone deciding it best not to call Xander until after school, but should rather give her friend Ralph a call as a heads up.

*Ralph*

"Ralph, how long have you been working?" Said one of my co-workers nervously. Nobody else had the guts to come up to me and ask me about my hours. I could see it in their eyes that they all preferred to stay out of my way, even some of the patients. I preferred it that way and shrugged off her question ignoring her completely.

Just as I walked away she persistently moved around me until I was forced to meet her gaze and stop completely in my tracks.

"The clock says you have been here over twenty-four hours. Haven't you gotten any rest?"

"I'll time out if that's what you'd like." I pleaded, "But I chose to stay and I would appreciate your generosity if you would stay out of my way."

"I understand your crabby, you haven't slept, but Dr. Ralph your scaring our clients."

"Then I'll stay away from the patients. May I leave now? I have important matters to-"

The short woman reached out for my arm and held me still. Her eyes showed sorrow for me, if I wasn't mistaken, and took a deep breath before she continued. "Nancy wanted me to inform you that she saw her leave."

My voice turned that of shock, "Who?"

"Jennifer something...? She ran out of here yesterday morning, Nancy saw her leave and figured thats why you were still here looking for her."

"Is Nancy still here?" I said desperately.

"About to leave. Better hurry, but one last thing." She looked around avoiding my eyes as if trying to think of the best way she could word what she was about to say, "Everyone knows about you and Nancy's break-up. She's devastated. Ralph, we all love and respect you as a doctor. You have, no doubt, worked miracles for this hospital but the boss, Tim, has been trying to find a reason to fire you since your argument a couple weeks back about you not setting your priorities straight... look, we've all had your back before but the hospital has known Nancy longer. She's filed a complaint toward you today and as a group the hospital is going to take her side it. I wanted to tell you before hand because you are a great man Ralph and you don't deserve this. I don't believe you do anyway. I wanted to warn you so it wouldn't be as much of a shock tomorrow."

"I'm being fired?" I shouted.

Those nearest around heard me shout stopped to listen in, while other employees tried to avoid my gaze.

"I'm sorry. Tim said he was going to do it tomorrow."

"You don't understand... I need this job! My friends are counting on me..."

"Ralph I-"

"Where is Nancy?"

"Leave her out of this." She said defensively, "This is a stressful situation for her..."

"Where is she!" I demanded.

Seeming to understand my frustration, she looked at me softly and shook her head knowing she'd regret what she was about to do.

"She's in the lobby. About to leave."

Without as much as a worthless thank you, I ran to the elevator to have one last spat at the bitch about to ruin my life. Was that all women were good for? Screwing up my life? Jennifer left yesterday morning claiming she needed to take one small trip to the restroom and return, but rather dashed out of here first chance she got. I stayed wishing she'd come back, but no, Nancy had to go and get herself involved. How was I to know that she had not been the one to make Jenny leave? The elevator took it's damn sweet time as it lowered to the lobby. Slowly the temperature in the elevator began to increase as my anger fueled my emotions. When the doors opened, a light gush of wind blew over my heated skin.

"You bitch!" I shouted as soon as I caught a glimpse of her behind the counter, "You broke up with me remember?"

Patients in the waiting room stood watching in awe as the nice doctor yelled at the lady behind the counter.

"You're disturbing the patients Ralph." she said softly looking around.

"Yea. Well your ruining my life! Why can't I just file a god-damn-complaint for that!"

She looked at me frightened, "Who told you about that?"

"Does that even matter? I'm gonna help save the world and you going to fucking complain about it?"

"Ralph what are you-"

"You saw Jenny Calendar leave yesterday morning and you didn't have the guts to tell me to my face? You had to send a messenger a day later! You got to be kidding me? What planet are you from woman? You can't even be honest with me? Didn't anyone teach you any manners?"

"You only work when she's here!" Nancy shot back. I was surprised that she even started yelling, "The only time you work miracles in this hospital is when that dreadful Calendar woman is here, and she's gone. You have not lifted a finger since she left and thats why I filed a complaint. Now I can add to it that you were disturbing the peace."

I looked around at all the interested faces and they all turned away quickly when my eyes met theirs. I looked back at her with brows knitted tightly together and spoke in a hushed tone, "What did you tell her? Why is she gone!"

"I didn't tell her anything. She just ran out of here! I'm not jealous of her if that's what your suggesting..." She rolled her eyes, "I mean... there is nothing to be jealous of."

She looked me up and down before continuing. "Your nothing special."

By utter rage I grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and held her not an inch away from my face. The audience watching from the waiting room gasped as a group and I could hear people running to the nearest phone, "I may not be anything special, but that woman has got way more class than you do. She is a fuckin angel. Your nothin more than a blood sucking demon. You want to complain to get me fired... fine. But I'll quit before you can even get that damn satisfaction."

Her eyes full of terror, I pulled her closer for one mean kiss. I threw her back in her chair, which she stumbled into, and slammed my name tag on her desk. "I quit Nancy. You win. And now every patient that is rushed into this hospital in so much pain that no doctor can save them, you will think of me because you know I could have. Every death in this hospital is on your selfish little head. Congratulations. Your a selfish bitch."

She looked around at the small audience of people which seemed confused about who the real victim was. Slightly turning embarrassed she gave a fake smile and looked at the crowd, "Everything is alright here, I promise."

The crowd did not seem to be buying it, and were way more flustered now than when they came in. I left Nancy to deal with the drama as I headed back into the elevator for one last pit stop.

Nothing of mine was inside the hospital, but I figured I could steal a whole bunch of medicine and supplies. I _t was needed, and would be put to great use in apocalyptic situations,_ I told myself. But the true reason I stole as much as I did was for nothing more than the pure vengeance living inside me. Maybe on the inside I couldn't deny I was a gypsy after all.

On my way out, I was met with red and blue flashing lights, mean men with guns, and Nancy taking no satisfaction in watching me get shoved into a police car. I could see in her eyes that she was starting to regret it. The police took the supplies I stole and handed it all to Nancy. I then was driven away to police head quarters for disturbing the peace.

_What peace? This is a fucking Hellmouth._

_###_

Nancy held on to the supplies that Ralph had stolen, and did not return it. After what he said, how could she not feel selfish. He had saved more lives than everyone in the hospital put together.  _But what has he done lately? Nothing. Maybe it's best he left,_ Nancy tried to convince herself.  _His work is done here... because she is not here._

Nancy returned to the phones just in time to answer the ringing phone.

"Hello, Sunnydale Hospital... how may I help you?"

"Hey, Nancy right?" said a familiar voice.

"Yes..?" Nancy replied questionably.

"This is Jenny." Nancy shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "I was wondering if I could speak with Ralph."

"Uh... Ralph..." she paused thinking about what to say, "he actually just left. Would you like me to take a message?"

"No, that's okay." she said disappointed, "Do you have any idea when he will be back?"

"He actually has the rest of the week off. Won't be able to reach him for a while." Nancy lied. "Sure you don't want me to leave him a message? Or a number for him to call you at?"

Their was a long moment of silence on the phone. Finally Jenny decided, "Sure. Will you just let him know I called?"

"Of course."

"Thanks Nancy."

Nancy hung up the phone and jotted down on a notepad,  _Jenny called._ She ripped the sticky note from the notepad, scrunched it up into a paper ball, and made it into the trash.  _And he thinks I'm jealous of that bitch? If she and that Rupert chap would stop calling, then maybe Ralph would get some work done._

*Rupert*

Running strictly off of coffee, I was able to get Willow to tap into Sunnydale police files. Had the police found any trace of Buffy, I would be informed via internet. However, when Willow was gone taking her finals, I was left unable to work the damn thing and too scared to touch it in fear that I might break it. My only lead on Buffy was that I could eliminate Sunnydale, and that wasn't enough. I wouldn't sleep until I had found at least one more blasted clue.

I hope that maybe she would drift off to some familiar place to her, like her fathers perhaps. Last night after everyone left the school grounds, I broke into the school files to find Buffy's list of emergency contacts. Thankfully Snyder didn't have the pleasure of getting rid of them yet. I grabbed Buffy's file and hid it away in the library. There was possibly other information inside of it that would come in handy later.

I looked inside the file today and found the number of Hank Summers, her father. Now that it was a more decent time of day to call, I dialed his number and waited for a him to answer.

First try, no answer.

Five minutes later, still no answer.

I waited ten minutes, and no answer.

Hour later, and I became more frustrated with every non-answer.

His daughter was missing! The least he could do was answer the damn phone! I left about five voice messages so he would have to call back. I then called Joyce to find out if it was even the right number. Thankfully she answered the phone quickly.

"Hello?" She answered desperately.

I became even more mad at myself for calling and giving her false hope, "Ms. Summers... it's Mr. Giles. I called to find out if the number in the school records were correct. I tried calling Buffy's father but there was no answer..."

She almost laughed, "Mr. Giles, I have a hard time getting him to answer the phone himself. I updated her school records recently when he moved out of LA and got a promotion that moved him to New York. His new number should be in the files."

"I understand. Is it possible Buffy could have gone to her father?"

"I doubt it." Joyce said thinking, "It's possible but I doubt it. I think she knows he would call me in a heart beat if she ran away to him. But you should give it a try, just incase. Cover all the possibilities."

"Already on it Ms. Summers." Giles said tirelessly, "Have a great day."

"Wait, Mr. Giles..." Joyce stopped him, "I just wanted to say... well, thank you."

Giles a little shocked, paused a moment, and without a change in his tired features continued pondering it no longer, "Of course."

*Xander*

Finals were ridiculously hard. Not just because of my lack of studying, but also because I found it hard to focus knowing my best friend was missing. I wanted to call Ms. Calendar so bad, but I had to wait until after school got out. I had to visit her soon. Not only did I want to help her search for Buffy, but I missed her too. I hadn't seen her since we saved the world and I just felt like I needed to make sure she was okay.

Although she betrayed us at one point, I could not understand why it was so hard for Giles to forgive her. Nobody really realized it, but Ms. Calendar had grown to be more than just a friend to us. She had grown into part of our messed up family. That's why it had hurt so much to lose her.

During the test I looked over at Willow who was watching me worriedly knowing that my mind was no where near this test. I gave her a polite smile and looked at my test trying to focus.

_In the story Catcher and the Rye, Holden Claufield believed what about the museum?_

_That it was huge._

_That it was never changing._

_Great place to diverge one's-self into the history of the world._

_or_

_That it was the most boring field trip ever._

_Since I didn't read the book. Lets pick the most intelligent sounding answer. Letter "C" has the word "Diverge", so lets go with that._

After I bubbled in "C" on my test, Cordy started coughing. I looked over at her and she shook her head. She had been watching me take my test. I shrugged my shoulders as if saying  _"What do you expect?"_

Cordy bit her sexy bottom lip looking at me scared. She tapped her pencil on the table twice. I looked at my paper and counted in my head. One... "A", Two... "B". Looking at her confused, wondering if that's what she meant, I erased "C" and bubbled in "B". I looked at her and she smiled, and I smiled back as in "thank you".

Every problem Cordy tapped her pencil on her desk to help me through the test. Half way through, I looked at Willow who was staring at me with wide eyes. She was the only one observant enough to notice what Cordy and I were doing. She shook her head lightly, with eyes that made me want to kill myself for committing such a sin. But what did she expect, I had to pass the class. Willow looked at the teacher and back at me, then covered her eyes to look at her own test. - that was Willow's way of saying... she didn't see anything.

Around the last five minutes of class, the teacher had about enough of Cordelia's tapping.

"Cordelia I would appreciate you not playing musical pencils until after class. It's disturbing those still taking the test."

Willow's eyes went wide once again and she shoved her face in her book, since she had been the first one to turn in her test. Cordy caught a little off guard was quick to fix the uneasiness in her voice.

"Sorry Ms. Beechly. I've had this catchy tune in my head all day and I can't figure it out. It's been bugging me. It goes a little something like this." Cordy got her pencil ready to tap a beat "Doo do do (Pause) Doo do do (Pause) Do do do do doooo!"

"Jingle Bells?" Said Jonathan across the classroom slightly confused.

"That's it!" Cordelia said excitedly, "Thank you Jose! Now I am ready to finish my test in peace and -"

Just then the bell rang, and the teacher was furious. "Cordelia, stay after class."

Cordy lost her cool and gulped down a solid chunck of air. I bubbled in the letter "B" for the rest of my test. With as much as Cordy help me pass, I was for sure going to pass no matter what, that is, if Cordy didn't get caught.

Willow and I were the last to leave the classroom and gave Cordy one last hopeful glance as we stepped outside.

Willow to frightened to say anything, we waited outside the classroom quietly. Willow bitting her nails, and me pacing in a circle.

"What if you got caught?" Willow started, "And they called your parents? What if they called my parents because I'm your best friend?"

"Uh- Willow, that's a bit over kill, don't you think?" I asked looking into her worried features, "Your parents are not going to hear about this."

"Why did you have to do it Xander?" Willow whispered with a shouting tone. "Cheating is wrong!"

Cordelia walked out of the classroom behind us with an unexpected smile on her face. Willow looked at her and spoke when the classroom door shut close, "Cordy why did you help Xander cheat!"

"Isn't it obvious?" She rolled her eyes, "I'm soo not being known as the girl who is dating the flunky. No way! Besides it was totally worth it!"

"What happened in there?" I asked a bit nervous.

"She kept telling me I disturbed those that hadn't finished the test, but I finally made a deal with her."

"What was it?" Willow asked a bit intrigued, "What was the deal?"

"Well, I told her that no one was interrupted by my two second jingle bell solo, and to prove it I told her that even the dumbest kid in the class could have scored high on that easy test. So she graded Xander's."

"Ouch!" I said as she seriously nibbled on my pride.

"Well, be glad she did! You got an A on the test Xander, and I didn't get in trouble." Cordelia smiled in her accomplishment, "And all thanks to me, I saved Xander's failure from failing."

With that, we all headed into the library to help Giles. Willow was a little pissed that we had gotten away with cheating, but she'd get over it. In fact, I was glad I could give her something else to think about. Buffy had been all that consumed Willow's mind, and at least my cheating could give her an outlet. Willow could pour all of her frustration into my cheating if she wished, because I could already tell it was making her feel just a little bit better. And a little bit, was just enough.

*Jenny*

All day long I sat against the window watching the soft drizzle fall into puddles on the street. It was a sad day, even the heavens were crying. I just sat and thought about life, and where it would take me from here.

Buffy was to never know I am alive again; that's a given. But other than that, I felt so alone in the events of my life that were about to unfold. All by myself I'd be watching Buffy, and taking care of her. Like a secret watcher. Giles would never know, nor Willow. But how could I ask Xander to keep such a secret? Sooner or later he will tell them all about me, that's why I have now until then to discover a way to make him forget. There is no way I can ask him to keep such a burden on his shoulders.

Xander would tell them because he doesn't understand. I cant tell anyone. If Buffy knew I was alive, the way she would treat me after what she had to do to Angel I could never handle. If Giles found out, he may want to start our relationship where it left off, and we can't do that. Down the road he'll realize what I did to his slayer, whom he loves like a daughter, and like any good father, he would protect her from me. He could never love me because of what I've done, and the murder I might as well have committed. Angel's blood is on my hands, just as mine was on his.

Willow's rejection would hurt like a stab to the heart. She would never even have to say anything because you could always see the pain in her eyes. Every time she looks at me, I'll die a little on the inside. And if I confess to them that I'm alive, it will be a slow torturing chain of events. Why die slow and alone, when I can skip that whole torture part and just pretend not to exist. It's easier on every one. It's easier for me.

As I dreamt of a life I didn't have, I noticed Buffy walking out of her hotel holding the newspaper I had set at her doorstep. She walked into the rain holding a black and white umbrella over her head, and I ran out of my own hotel eager to follow her at a safe distance to her destinations. I had hoped she had gotten a hint from the job section I left open for her.

When I reached ground level, I looked around for Buffy and could not find her in the crowd of people. However, I was able to see her umbrella turning the corner. I rushed through the crowd of people, and at a safe distance as I followed Buffy's umbrella down the streets of Los Angeles.

When she made her first pit stop, I knew she was job hunting. I waited on a bench across the street as she went inside Helen's Diner. Her first stop was rather a nice choice, and conveniently close to her place. I waited in the rain soaking under my thin black sweater and blue jeans as Buffy went inside to turn in an application. People walked on down the side walk as I waited, and a couple even started dancing in the rain. I watched them even as they kissed. The rain on my face mixed with my tears. I held my fingers crossed hoping that at least everything could work out for Buffy.

Soon enough Buffy walked back out into the rain, and opened her umbrella. I followed her again to her next stop, which ended up being a small Mexican restaurant called Cozy Mel's. A little out of reach for Buffy, but I waited outside anyway.

I stood in the rain soaking some more, and looking at an old couple getting out of their old car. The old man got out of the driving side and limped with his cane around the car to open the car door for what looked to be his wife. They trembled as he helped her out on to the rain, and she struggled trying to open her umbrella. As every second passed, they got more and more wet in the rain.

"Let me help." I blurted as they both looked up at me. I hadn't realized I had gotten so close to them, and I hadn't even realized I wanted to speak.

I reached out for the umbrella and the old lady handed it to me with trembling wet hands. I held the umbrella to the sky, and pushed a button on the handle which released the umbrella with a  _click._

"T-thank you." The old man said with missing teeth. He seemed quiet glad for my help.

"My pleasure." My voice had become a little shaky and I tried to ignore it. I closed their car door and handed the umbrella to them. "Have a nice day now."

"Honey, are you alright?" The old lady asked as she examined me closer, "Your eyes are bright red!"

I suddenly felt the tightness in my jaw and the hard breaths in my throat. I nodded lying, "Yea, it's the rain. I'll be fine."

She smiled, "Well, take care. Thank you child."

I nodded once with a smile and walked away to another place where I could wait for Buffy. Hopefully somewhere in the shadows. Being around people only made me cry. Only made me wish I could be normal. Only made me wish for... well, a silly wish. A silly wish for Rupert's unconditional love, but what alternate universe is Jenny allowed it? Because in this world she ruined it, and all I wanted now was to hide in the shadows.

###

 _Jail. Fun._ Ralph thought to himself sarcastically.

He was being held for just a night, but his life was already ruined. How was Ralph useful if he wasn't a doctor? He lost his job and all he could think about is the promise he made to Rupert.  _What if Buffy came in, and those lousy excuse for doctors let her die? What if Jenny came back looking for me and Nancy made up this dramatic story about how I got fired?_

With every thought, Ralph became more and more furious. He couldn't stand the idea of Jenny thinking of him negatively. Who knew what lie Nancy could stir. He can't believe he slept with the hoe. Who did she think she was? Stealing his life like that?

He laid on his inch thin mattress and tried to think of ways he could iron out his life. Maybe when he got out of here, he could preform a spell to find Jenny and Buffy. From there he could apply for another hospital job.

He was starting to like his new back up plan.

 _Clang Clang Clang!_ The police man banged a cane against Ralph's cell, "You have a visitor."

*Ralph*

I sat up wondering who even knew that I was in jail. When I saw Nancy entering the scene, I dramatically laid back down and closed my eyes completely.

"Came to witness me in Jail I see." I yawned, "Take pictures. Show them to your friends. Just don't forget the back story where you got me fired. That's the best part!"

"I didn't come here to..." She paused sounding rather shitty, "They gave me all that medical supplies you stole. I came to return it. It's in your car, I brought that too. The officers handed me your car keys along with the medical supplies. They must have thought you were stealing it."

A little unexpected, I opened one eye to look at her, "And why would you do something like that might I ask?"

She was resting her head against two vertical bars of the cell and held them with her hands. She was watching me wearing a little pout on her face and her clothes were wet from the rain. She was in a black sweatshirt and black skirt that went down to her knees. Her hair was soaked as it rested down beside her elbows.

"After what you said... it made me think." She looked down at her feet, "I feel really selfish Ralph. I know I'm not Jenny and you could never fall madly in love with me, but it made me angry. I couldn't take it out on her. So I took it out on you. Your a great doctor, so I'll let you take the stuff. I know you can save more lives outside the hospital anyway... just don't tell anyone I let you."

She winked at me with a cautious giggle, and a sat up completely, "Thanks Nancy."

"I wish you could come back but because your kinda in jail... Tim won't let ya come back in... he's sorta been trying to-"

"Fire me?" I nodded, "Yea I heard. Maybe your right, I'm probably a better traveling doctor anyway."

She smiled brightly letting all her pearl white teeth show. "I'm sorry Ralph."

"Yea, well... we all are." I said glumly. "Sorry about... well, hurting you."

"It's okay." she shrugged, "I kinda already knew you were crazy for her before we got together."

"Then why did you go out with me?" I asked suspiciously.

"Cause at first I didn't care. But after a while I started too-" she bit her lip and avoided my gaze. "It's not your fault Ralph. I knew what I was getting into before I got into it. I shouldn't be surprise it ended like this. Well... I mean... not surprised that it didn't work out. However I'm very surprised that your sitting in a jail cell. Didn't see that one coming."

I made a huff noise and stood up from the rough mattress, "Would it be funny if I said the same thing?"

I walked up to her resting the top of her head under my chin and hugging her tightly through the bars. "Do you know where she went Nancy?" I asked, "Do you have any hint to where Jenny could have gone."

"Well, she..." Nancy started. She paused on her thoughts, "Nevermind. I have no idea."

I rubbed the soft of her back gently closing my eyes and feeling my heart crush with her words. "You will tell me if she calls won't you? If her or Buffy Summers come in?"

Nancy hesitated before she nodded. It was wrong of me to ask her to take messages for the woman that ended our relationship, but she got me fired. She owed me at least that much.

Jenny just left, and with no idea of where to start looking, the feel of Nancy against me was filling a hole that Jenny left when she ran away. I never wanted to let Nancy go, because when she left my side, nothing but pain would attack the emptiness.

But I had to let her go. Nancy and I were only friends as much as we were lovers. We only used each other. I took a deep breath and removed her from my arms. As I expected, I suddenly began to feel so lonely and hopeless as I watched Nancy walk away.

She got me fired once, and she wasn't worth it for another try.

I went to my small dirty bed frame and slept as much of the twenty-four hour arrest that I could.

*Jenny*

Buffy had gone place to place, and I did my best observing from a far distance. I also tried my best at avoiding people, especially the couples. I noticed things would become an issue when people were starring at me. I was drenched from the rain, and without my umbrella, I was sure to catch a cold. I was so drenched that I might as well have jumped in a pool with my clothes on.

When Buffy made a stop to some nearby movie theater, I made my way to the nearest clothes store.

A walked down a block and found myself going inside a cheap run-down store right beside a Payless. It was called Woven Magic, and looked to be a new business that was just getting started.

I popped inside and tried on a couple pairs of jeans, a couple of Juliette laced tops, and also some hoodies. When I was in the changing room trying on the clothes, I carefully watched myself in the mirror. My features weren't right. I allowed myself to become boney, and scars covered my skin. My left arm was swollen, and my fingers only moved with much pain. I knew I had to go to a doctor to get my arm checked. I looked almost like an entirely different person. I looked hallow.

I bought all the clothes I tried on, including two pairs of overalls that I thought might come in handy. With a quick stop at the Payless next door, I also grabbed a pair of tennis shoes and the white umbrella that came half off with every purchase. Thankful for the cash the Powers that Be had given me, I was hoping they weren't expecting a return.

I walked back to the movie theater, taking a peak inside and realizing that Buffy was just on her way out. When I caught a good glimpse of her, I noticed she looked as unrecognizable as I have. We've changed. We have both been killed, inside and out.

I followed her to what seemed like her last stop of the day. Rain was starting to clear up, and night was slowly rolling in. Buffy headed inside an ice skating rink and this was the only place that I decided to follow her in. It was a huge ice skating rink with loads of people, and more exit than one: I was bound to lose her if I had not followed her.

The ice rink was cold which sent chills down to my bone. I huffed out a breath that became misted in front of me. Buffy hurried her way through the crowd without a second thought about the drop in temperature. She moved so fast, I figured she had been here before. She worked through the maze of the ice rink and headed to what I figured to be the front desk.

This was the closest I had been to her all day, probably about ten feet distance. As she spoke to the person at the front desk, I admired the fliers on the wall.

"Uh... hey." Buffy started sounding exhausted, "Are you still hiring for the science convention this weekend?"

"Yes! Would you like an application?" The middle-aged man replied brightly.

Buffy nodded. The man dug into his drawers and pulled out an application along with a pen. She took the pen and started to fill out all of the information. The man sitting at the desk just eyed her brightly.

"You look familiar..." the guy said, "Have you ice skated here before?"

Buffy froze. He looked up at him and quickly went beck to focusing on her application.

"No." She said lightly.

The man shrugged it off and leaned back into his chair, "Well, I've been here for years. Everyone starts to look familiar to me. So how'd you hear about the Robot Challenge?"

"Newspaper."

"Well, we're quite thankful for your help. There aren't many others who signed up to help, and work starts tomorrow. We got to clean-up this place Friday and set up for the robot wars." He shifted in his seat as she handed him her application. He seemed eager to figure out her name, "So... Anne Rosenburg, can you start tomorrow?"

Buffy shoved her hands in her pocket. She forced a smile on her face and nodded.

"Great, your hired!" He put the application in a file on his desk, "We meet here tomorrow at 10AM, and were not done until this whole place is cleaned up and set up for the convention."

"I'll be here." Buffy took her umbrella leaning from the wall, and took her newspaper off of his desk.

"Hey kid." he said desperately before she left, "Get some rest. You look rather pale."

She smiled at him, and without another word headed out throwing away her newspaper in the nearest trashcan. I was about to follow her out when I noticed the flier I had been holding in my hand. It was for the Science Convention that Buffy had just signed up for.

"May I help you?" the guy asked me from his desk.

I looked at him slightly, and back at the paper, "Actually yea."

I put the flier on his desk, "This Science thing going on this weekend... if I applied to help out, what would I be doing?"

"Well starting tomorrow, we are all just cleaning out this place. And setting up. At the convention itself, we assign everyone a different task."

"So let's say, hypothetically of course- that I was avoiding a... an ex-boyfriend that signed up to work here also, would I ever bump into him while on the job...?"

He made a worried face, "Well, hun... technically yes... but since we really need the help I can make a special exception. If you sign up to help us, I can promise you that you will not run into this person any time during the job. Sound good?"

"Sounds excellent." I smiled wickedly.  _Maybe I can pull off this simple task. I can watch Buffy without her ever knowing it. Maybe it was possible._

He handed me an application, and the same pen he let Buffy borrow. "That's swell! Thanks a bunch! May I ask who your avoiding...? It will be easier for me to keep you working away from this ex of yours if you tell me what his name is."

"Umn... well..." I gulped. I couldn't imagine how I'd get out of this one, "Let's just say I want to avoid everyone, is that still okay?"

He shrugged, "For your help... anything is possible. Listen, if you're really that eager to avoid everyone, I'll have ya get here an hour earlier to start before everyone else. You can leave and hour earlier also."

I thought about it, "Sure. Works out perfect."

"Gee, thank you..." I handed him my paper and he quickly looked at the name, "...Jennifer Giles! I'll meet you here tomorrow at 9AM."

I froze. "Excuse me... what did you call me?"

"Jennifer Giles." he repeated, "That's what you put on the line...?"

I looked back down at the paper and my whole body stiffened. I was filling out the papers so fast that I hadn't even noticed that the only made up last name I could think of, was in fact, not made up at all.

"Oh..." I quickly took the pen from his hand and scratched out the last name, "I'm sorry, I got distracted."

I filled in a new last name and handed him the paper once again.

"Alright then, so your real name is... Jennifer Harris?" He asked eyeing me with a quirk in his smile, "You sure this time?"

"Yea." I said almost said in a whisper, "I'm sure." I looked at the wall clock behind him and the time read 7pm. "Look... uh, I better go. Thanks for the job, and I'll see you tomorrow."

I didn't wait for a good-bye as I hurried back through to the exit.

"9AM!" he shouted behind me.

As soon as I got outside, tears began to swallow my face. I didn't want to attract to much attention so I walked quickly to the nearest alley. I leaned against the brick wall and fell to the ground with tears falling down like the rain had been. I crossed my arms over my legs and cried in my fetal position for quite a while.

Just the smallest mention of Rupert gave reality a reason to kick me in the gut. When I thought of him, I remembered everything I did to screw up. When I thought of Rupert, I remembered the life I was attempting to redeem myself of. But most of all, I thought about how lonely I really was. How much I missed him, and how much I didn't deserve him. With out Rupert, I was truly all alone in the shadows.

*Xander*

Things were looking pretty down. Willow couldn't find anything new in the police files, Giles made numerous phone calls and everyone could tell he needed a break, and I did my best to think up ways to find Buffy. Our plan was a complete failure. We needed more numbers! More ideas! More action! - But there were only so few options.

Willow left for the bathroom some time during our research leaving only Giles and I alone in the library. With things looking dim, I decided to give him some news that I hoped may lift his spirits.

"Ms. Calendar's helping us search too." I said rather cheery, "If she finds anything, I'm sure she'll let us know. We're all working day and night to find her Giles, she'll turn up."

Giles was stiff for a couple moments organizing his thoughts.  _Exactly how big of a fight did these two get into?_

He stood quiet for to long moment when I finally couldn't stand it anymore, "What kind of fight did you two get into? You're acting like she doesn't even exist Giles. I didn't want to ask, but this is becoming ridiculous!"

Giles turned around looking at me a little confused, "I just avoid talking about her because it's easier to cope. Before she died, we were fighting about Angel and his soul but-"

"Well Angel is most likely dead! Situation taken care of!" I continued, "Can't you kiss and make-up already?"

"Xander it's not that easy... I can't just talk to her about it..." Giles started sounding saddened, "It's not exactly like she is around for me to apologize too."

"Look, I know where she is... I talk to her all the time," Giles started to look at me strangely, "I'll take you with me when I go to visit her again okay? You can apologize to her then..."

Giles looked down with a saddened expression and never met my gaze again, "I'll think about it." was all he said.

Willow walked in and that was the end of that conversation.

After Giles left the library he said he was heading home; which is what the rest of us found ourselves doing. Tomorrow was Friday. Not only the last day of school, but the last day holding us back from non-stop full force commando search for Buffy. I hurried myself home, eager to give Ms. Calendar a call and set up a date for us to meet.

*Jenny*

By the time I got home, the bags of my new clothes were tearing apart and I threw them onto the bed figuring I would sort them out later, but I haven't yet. I had gotten myself a new newspaper and went over all of the jobs listed in the job section that Buffy and I traveled to. Before all of the places closed, I figured I would give them a call.

One by one, I went down the list and made a call to every one of Buffy's applications. With most telephone calls, I used myself as her reference list - even if they didn't require it. I figured the good feedback would at least help her get some good jobs.

I realized she used different names on all of her applications. I remember her using the name "Anne" at the ice skating rink and used it when I called other places. Her first name was Anne on all of her applications, but her last name kept changing. Some places it was Rosenburg, others it was Harris, she used Summers a couple times, and only used Giles once. - I figured she didn't look british enough to pull off a name like Giles, and she must of realized it after writing it. That's probably why she only used it once.

I mostly gave Buffy good feedback, but when some nasty person would answer the phone, or speak to me rudely, I told them that Anne's application wished to be thrown out because she had found opportunities else where. I didn't want Buffy working for people like that. I was surprised with the fact that my plan was actually working.

I eliminated bad places, and helped her application sparkle in the great places. Altogether she applied for 12 different places, 4 got eliminated, 5 were only a week or weekend paid volunteer worked events, and the last 3 were actual jobs she could hold over the course of summer. If Anne was hired at any of these 3 places, I was to be called and informed of her progress.

Just when I was done calling all 12 places, my phone started to ring. I answered it quickly.

"Hello?"

"Ms. Calendar? It's me! Xander."

"Oh..." I hid a sigh from the false alarm, "Hey Xan, hows the Buffy hunting going?"

"Honestly...? We don't even have a starting point. Were startless. Poor Giles is beating himself up over it, and I don't think he's slept since she's gone missing. How about you? Anything?"

"No." I lied, feeling the pain from earlier starting to sink back in.  _How come I'm still lying to them? That's what I'm trying to avoid... but it seems I never can. I have to lie this time... because this time its important to my real family. Buffy._

"You should try Ralph," I continued, "Maybe if Buffy gets sent to the hospital, he can give us a call."

_Now I'm giving them false leads. Good job Jenny. Definitely redeeming yourself now._

"Hey! Great idea! I'll get on that tomorrow!" Through the phone I could hear Xander's new best friend barking, "So... uh... when can me and the little monster visit?"

*Xander*

The dog gave a low growl from my feet like if he understood that I called him a monster.  _Creepy._

"Well when does school end?" she asked. It was so soothing to hear the sound of her voice.

"Tomorrow is our last day. Could me and the cute-adorable-puppy visit this weekend?" I looked down at the puppy and he seemed to like this new nickname. He sat beside my feet and waged his tail.

"I'm actually going to be busy this weekend."

"And the scooby gang and I are going to be patrolling temporarily until Buffy gets back so I better not ditch them..." I admitted disappointed.

"You guys are going to patrol everyday?" Ms. Calendar replied worried, "With Giles right?"

"No. Willow, Oz, possibly Cordy, and I will be patrolling. Four to one... and if their is more, we know our limits Ms. Calendar. Don't worry about us. We know we're no slayer. We won't kill more than we can chew..." I paused, "Giles even made sure to tell us not to patrol without Oz, so on the 3 nights of the full moon we won't be out hunting vampires."

I could hear a sigh of relief come from Ms. Calendar. The sigh of relief hurt my macho-ness.  _What is it about Oz that makes patrolling okay? I'm a man too ya know! Maybe not as macho as Oz, but definitely still as ... uh, well I'm as much of a man as he is!_

"When is the next full moon?" She asked.

"Wait I know this one... Giles planned out our patrolling schedule for us today, let me go find it. It's in my backpack."

I put the phone on the writing desk and ran to my backpack. The only thing inside of my light backpack was the schedule for patrolling that Giles made. I was so glad school was practically over, but I still felt I wasn't as happy as I should have been.

I went back to the phone. "This says the full moon for June has already passed, so our next full moon would be, July 8th. So we're not patrolling July 7th, 8th, or 9th."

Ms. Calendar hesitated, "J-July 7th...?"

I wasn't sure if she was asking a question or thinking so I stayed silent until she said more.

"Well... then why don't you come over and visit on those days? It won't get in the way of your patrolling and I have time to make sure I'm not busy."

Ms. Calendar was asking me to wait three weeks... about 20 days. I understood her logic, but she didn't factor into the equation how much I was missing my Ms. Calendar shaped friend.

"Ms. C... I don't mind keeping the dog that long, but I do miss you."

"You can call me always." she said sadly, "if Buffy comes back home before your visit, then you will get to see me sooner."

"I hope we find her quickly." I sighed.

"I hope we do too."

I was about to say goodbye when she added one last comment, "Make sure, when you visit, that nobody knows your coming."

"Even Giles?" I asked.  _What's wrong with them? One fight and they totally forgot they were madly in love with each other?_

"Especially Giles." She demanded.

I huffed, watching the pup slowly prowling into my kitchen, "Alright." I lied. "He'll never know."

_After they kiss and make up, they'll thank me one day._

*Jenny*

"Thanks Xander." I replied pretending there wasn't a tear falling from my eye, "Get some rest."

"Alright. Talk to you soon." He replied, "Good night Ms. Calendar."

With that, I hung up the phone and went to the small table desk with an empty calendar stretched across it. I took the hotel pen and doodled on some dates.

This Weekend: Science Convention.

July 7th - 9th: Xander's visit.

 _I hope Xander wasn't lying about the full moon._ My eyes were pinned to the date July 7th as I was almost unable to look away.  _But I mean... there is no way he could have known that's my birthday._

I was just hoping my birthday was not going to be remembered this year. I didn't deserve a celebration, and I definitely was not excited about turning 29.  _Well... then again, I did die... maybe I don't have to grow anymore. Or... maybe I start all over again._

But it didn't matter. I wasn't going to enjoy another celebration as long as I lived. Unless it was the celebration of yet another apocalypse prevented. - but even then, I would only party in the shadows by myself.

###

"Uh... hello." Rupert started feeling a little silly. His voice was soft and cracking but he continued anyway. "I-I've never quite done this before, but apparently Xander claims this is quite normal... yet the boy isn't really normal is he?"

Rupert gave out a short nervous chuckle.

He looked down at his knees which were soaking in the wet grass as he sat on his knees and the sky was pouring rain. He was kneeling before the only person who he could turn to for help, as if he were surrendering to the world.

"...But I feel I have no other option. Forgive me... I haven't slept in days and I probably look like a mess. I probably don't smell to great either..." He swallowed suddenly feeling more silly than before, "I-I need your help."

His hand slid over the wet grass in front of him and onto the tomb stone in front of him. His fingers traced her name and his thoughts traced her memory. The tomb stone of Jenny Calendar.

"I mentioned I'm low on sleep right?" he started, "God, this seems so silly... but at the same time I feel like I'm exactly where I need to be. Xander said he would come with me, but I thought this was something I needed to do by myself." He paused remembering what Xander had told him:  _Just apologize._ With a shaky breath, he continued,"God... Jenny I am so sorry. I made a terrible mistake, probably the worst I'll ever make. I wish I never wasted my time fighting with you... I could have had more time to be with you." His throat became sour and his jaw stiffened as he tried to hold back her memories that were forming into tears. "I wish I could have held you, but because of my ignorance... it took me until your last moments for me to forgive you. I just want so badly to hold you. You're not here and I need you now more than ever." He took off his glasses and slid them in his inner jacket pocket to keep them dry, "Buffy's disappeared and I have to find her. I have absolutely no where to start looking. This isn't something I can research, nothing I can mathematically figure out. I need a sign Jenny, some where to start looking... I just need a starting point."

As Rupert's knees began to fall asleep he dragged himself over to lean against her tomb stone. He could care less about the rain and his soggy pants. He was to tired and frustrated to care.

Rupert let out a giant yawn that would have made a person think of a cat if they'd seen him, "Until I find her Jenny, can you watch over her? She needs you. Maybe not as much as I do... yea, I miss you like hell. I am in hell. Look at where the world goes with out you Jenny. Buffy's gone, and I've become a useless mess. Can't even watch his own slayer. For the first time in my life Jenny, I don't even know where to begin." His eyes were watered from sadness and exhaustion. He had gone to long without sleep, and wished now to be resting with his love, "I need you too Jenny."

Rupert closed his eyes and rested against Jenny's headstone, "Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to waist the last days of your life mad at you. God, all I want is to love you. That's all I ever wanted to do."

"Please! I know I don't deserve it, but this is for Buffy. And she caused you no harm. Don't punish her for my wronging. Please point me to Buffy and watch her until I find her okay? You'll always be my sweet little angel. Till the day I die, I promise, all I will do is love you."

Letting out another deep yawn, more tears escaped from his eyes as he slowly began to drift asleep in the pouring rain against Jenny's headstone.


	31. J & R Concrete

*Rupert*

I found myself waking up to a warm gust of air and a gargle in my face. My eyes opened slowly pulling my glasses out of my inner pocket and onto my nose. I felt horribly muddy and was trying to remember where I was. As soon my eyes adjusted to the glasses on my nose, I had no time to think about where I was. A vampire was drooling over my soar body.

"Eh!" I yelled backing up into a tombstone. I started to remember where I was, and what I had come for.  _Jenny._

The vampire was hunched over wearing a baseball cap and must have been no older than 15 when he died. I looked around quickly for any possible weapon, but all I could see was mud and grass. I was covered in it. The darkness of the night hid any other possible weapons from my sight. I looked back at the vampire pondering my next alternative.

One of his hands reached out for me, and pulled me up by the collar. He pulled me up so high that me feet were left dangling in the air, and my breathing was seriously altered from his grip.  _They make fifteen year-olds taller than I remember._

I wiggled desperately in his arms but he effortlessly put his nose to my neck to inhale his warm treat.

I did my best and headed budded him. This caused him enough pain to let me go and I was thrown against Jenny's tomb stone. I stood quickly to my feet and drifted behind Jenny's grave. I grabbed a twig resting in a puddle.

The vampire looked angrily at me and growled in pain, "Mother always told me not to play with my food, but I think I can make an exception this one time..." he looked from me, to the tombstone he had first found me sleeping against. He chuckled, "Let me guess... she's your friend?"

"More like family actually." I blurted.

"Mother? Sister? ...Wife?"

I tensed and practically growled back at him.

"Well then..." he snickered, "I'm sure both you and your wife will share the same fate. You're both going to hell."

He lunged at me, and I rushed to put force behind my twig. Holding my twig too tight, it snapped in my hands, but only after it was already lunged into the undead heart.

### FLASHBACK ###

Before I knew it, it was raining dust. Jenny had just killed her second vampire of the day and was feeling rather happy about it.

"I promise to take you to church on Sunday." Rupert said, continuing the conversation they were having before the vampire rudely interrupted.

He watched her stare up at the moon with a delightful smile on her face. "You're an angel." Rupert accidentally said out loud.

"What?" she replied taken aback.

"Excuse me…" Rupert said feeling the need to correct himself, "You're MY angel."

Rupert took Jenny in his arms as he began to twirl her. Jenny loved his attention and soaked it up like a sponge. Even in the middle of a graveyard, Giles held her so tightly.

"Are we dancing?" she asked putting her right arm around the arch of his back.

"No… dancing during a patrol is extremely dangerous." Rupert replied holding her closer, I'm simply watching your back, and you're watching mine while taking slow swaying steps under the moon light." "Oh… my mistake." She laughed.

_### From Ch 20: Battle of the Gods ###_

Rupert had his eyes closed as he smiled slightly to the touch and sounds from Jenny that had played in his mind. He had no idea what had just happened, but he was just devastated that it stopped. He wanted more Jenny.

He finally opened his eyes and found the vampire around his feet in a pile of dust. He glanced at Jenny's head stone.

What had caused him to see such an event that had never occurred before between the couple?

Rupert was almost convinced he had fallen asleep standing up after staking the vampire. How else could he explain what he had seen? His best explanation was that he dreamt it. But it seemed all to vivid, like a distant memory.

He shook his head and took notice of the filth he covered himself in. It was about time to head home for a shower. Rupert walked over to Jenny's head stone, and rubbed it with his thumb. "I miss you Jenny..." he whispered just before he walked away trying to find his car in the darkness of the last remaining hours of night.

*Damian (Puppy)*

I woke up on the floor and stretched my paws out in front of me with a long slow yawn. I looked over and saw a newspaper to my right, and Xander's bed to my left. Standing up slowly, I saw Xander still tossing around in bed.

_I think I dreamt of bears last night._

After I thought this, I heard a roaring snore come from Xander's bed.

_Is this the part that I ask if it's behind me?_

I turned back to Xander, backed up a little and ran up to jump high onto his bed. I liked being a puppy... it came with benefits. What I didn't like however, was the food.

Xander didn't notice my pounce onto his bed, so I decided to mess with him this morning. I walked around his body in the blankets, and tried to find his face in the tangled mess. At one end of the bed, I saw his feet, so I turned around and tried the other edge of the bed. This time I saw his hand. Still no head.  _When this boy goes to bed, he really stretches out!_  He snored again, and my ears perked up when I finally saw his messy hair.

I crawled to his hair and poked my nose into the back of his head. He moved lightly. I crawled over him so I could see the front of his face. When I saw the drool on his pillow, I followed it to his mouth.

He looked rather funny. His hair was sticking straight up off his head, and half his face was smashed into his pillow. I let my puppy tongue dangle and began to lick his face.

"Ugh!" he replied without opening his eyes. "Cordy stop it."

He reached out and grabbed me from his face. He rolled onto his back, and held me in the air in front of him as his eyes adjusted to the light of a new day.

"Oh... you're not Cordy."

_Why not? I'm hairy enough to be. Never mind... I don't need you making out with me._

"Hey, what do we have here?" Xander said, sitting up from his bed with his back pressing against the wall. He reached out and looked at the gem in my collar. His thumb traced the diamond with his finger. "Looks expensive. Wouldn't want to brake that."

He turned my collar around and examined the other side. "Oh! You even have a name! Hello... Dot." Xander shrugged, "Odd name."

I barked.  _Not that I much liked the name either, but D'hoffrin did give it to me, and I respect anyone that is willing to give me power._

"Calm down Dot." Xander hugged me.  _He was squishing me too tightly and too close to his armpit. eeepp!_ I squirmed some more but he didn't let go, "Don't worry...You, me, and Giles are going to visit Ms. Calendar soon."

 _Giles?_ I barked again.

"I know your excited!" He shook me in his hands, as if that was supposed to be an endearing gesture. However, I just wanted to be put down.

Finally he laid me out in front of him, and I walked over to the other edge of the bed and started barking some more.  _You've got to be kidding me! Giles? The point of this spell was to keep the watcher away!_ I began to growl.

"Hey keep it down." Xander threw a pillow at me.

I ducked the pillow and laid on his bed eyeing him angrily. He reached over and pet me. "Good Dot." He looked up at his clock and jumped out of bed, "I'm late!"

When Xander started getting ready, I jumped off the bed and ran into the kitchen. I hopped onto the counters, and waited, wagging my tail impatiently. Xander was walking out the front door when I barked for food. Turning around, he looked nervous and ran to the fridge. He pulled out a container of apple sauce, peeled off the covering, and left it next to me on the counter. Then he continued his run out of the house.

_Gee... thanks._

I took the plastic container of apple sauce in my mouth and trotted back into his room, on his bed and started practicing my messy dog eating skills. With as much apple sauce as I left on Xander's bed, I can honestly say I was improving.

For the rest of the day, I laid in his bed, and tried to think of ways to get rid of the stupid watcher once and for all.

*Jenny*

I arrived to work in my new overalls, which I soon learned was a great idea. Today we were working with concrete, and by we... I meant me.

"Names Marty." said the man I met yesterday as I shook his hand, "You'll get your uniform today after your work here is done, and you'll be wearing it tomorrow during the convention. Understood?"

I nodded.

"Good. Follow me..." I followed him through the empty ice skating rink, and a the same cool chill from yesterday made me shiver. Before I knew it, we were standing on what used to be an ice skating rink. The floor looked like it was surfaced in giant green legos with a two inch think orange wire locked in place between the stubs, "Now as you see here, I have already laid out the Crete-Heat Insulated Floor Panel Systems..."

_Try saying that three times fast._

"What this does is keep the ground cool, and with a layer of concrete over it, we will be able to set up the stadium for the robot wars." He chuckled, "...since they obviously can't play on the ice. Now, I've done this before. Every year I'm the one who sets it up, but thankfully we have enough money to hire people to take it apart when we're done with it."

"You put these out all by yourself?" I asked feeling bad for the old man, "I could have come earlier if you needed my help..."

He looked at me endearingly, "Well thats mighty kind of you mam, but you don't need to worry. This is the easiest part. Took me no more than twenty minutes. You forget I've been doing this for years. What I do need your help with however..." he handed me what looked like a broom, but instead of bristles at the end of the broom, there was a flat piece of medal.

"You see this flat part at the bottom?" He pointed out, "You'll be using this to flatten out the concrete."

"Concrete?" I said a little surprised that he trusted me with such a job.

"You look like you've got some soft hands on ya..." he explained, "when the men do this... well, lets just say they don't understand the meaning of smooth. I'm starting this now because I'd like to have the concrete done as quick as possible. It's the most important part."

I looked around at the ginormous space we had to fill with concrete. It was about as big a space as three of Sunnydale High's gymnasiums put together.

"Well," I huffed, "Then I guess that means we better get started."

Marty went to get his small concrete pouring automobile that could ride around on the surface easily, and as he very slowly poured concrete from the car. For the first twenty minutes he would pour, then get out of his car to teach me how to smooth it down. After I pretty much understood what I was doing, he stayed in his car and drove around slowly spreading concrete. The job didn't get any easier, but it did get a lot faster.

I was starting to dislike this job as time went on. Not because it was hard, but it was too quiet. Most of the time, I was alone with my thoughts and that was not a safe place for me to be. My feelings attacked me when ever they could, and when I was alone with my thoughts... I felt like a living mistake.  _I should have stayed dead. I should have never been born._ Of course, cliche'... but how else was I supposed to feel? Simply by existing I was born into a clan that worshiped the living vengeance inside all people... and before I met the scooby gang... that's exactly what I had done.  _God... that sounds horrible. It is horrible! How had I not noticed this before I moved to Sunnydale? Why had I been born into such terrible people?_

When I broke away from my terrorizing mind, I noticed how much of the concrete Marty and I had spread. We were half-way done. It was amazing the work we accomplished in only an hour. After flattening out the last of the concrete we had just spread, Marty stopped us both.

"I better get the others." he replied looking at me worried, "You don't need to worry about this anymore... it will be faster to get this done with the rest of the crew. Take a break, and I'll get you started on your next task when I return."

"Okay." I said in a dry voice.

"Follow me and help me fetch out some more concrete. It's just over here..."

I left the broom down on the ground that had not yet been cemented, and followed Marty off the rink. He led me into what seemed like a janitors closet filled with rows of buckets.

"Well these are the buckets of concrete..." he said pulling a Dolley out of the back of the room, "Load them up one at a time... don't want you hurting yourself, and these things are heavy."

I walked over to one and tried to lift it. I had forgotten all about my swollen left arm and it surged with pain as soon as I gave it a tug. I bit my lip and looked away from Marty to hide my shock.

He continued, "If you can, take at least ten trips. Just pull them out onto the untouched part of the rink, the rest of the crew and I will take it from there. Leave the Dolley on the rink when your done too please."

"Okay." I forced out as normal as I could.

I looked back at the bucket I had just tried to pull and gasped with what I saw. I froze.

"Are you okay?" He asked holding his hand over my shoulder.

"J&R Concrete?" I asked without looking away from the name on the bucket.

"Oh-no. Don't tell me you're avoiding buckets of concrete too?" He said jokingly, "If your asking me what the J and R stand for... I'm sorry to say you're out of luck. I've got no idea. It's just the name of the brand we use. Anything else you need before I go find the others?"

"Uh... yea actually." I finally pealed my eyes away from the bucket, "When I'm done, do I just wait for you here?"

"Yea." he nodded, "I'll be back to tell you what's next."

I smiled nodding and he turned to walk away. My eyes shot back to the buckets.  _How was I going to do this?_

*Ralph*

I was finally just released from jail and the weather out side was much shiner than the day before. I enjoyed the sun's heat on my face. I opened up my trunk and saw the medicine Nancy left me all sitting neatly packed in. I smiled, and practically skipped into my car.

Before I would go anywhere, I couldn't waist another minute without informing Rupert of a new difficulty. My car practically flew with speed to the high school.

I walked inside the library and Rupert's eyes glowed as soon as he'd seen me.

"Any news?" He asked without hiding the desperation in his voice.

I almost wished I hadn't come, "No actually. More like a slight complication. I thought it was best for me to tell you right away. I don't want to hide anything from you anymore..."

"Anymore?" He asked confused.

I rolled my eyes at myself disappointed in my subtlety. "What I mean is... I got fired."

"Fired?"

"Yes. But I believe there is no need to worry." I insisted, "I have a friend. She said she'll call and inform me if Buffy ever walked through those doors."

"Is this a reliable friend?" Rupert said not to worried.

I shrugged truthfully, "One of the better ones."

"Well, then I guess there is not too much to worry about," he continued making his way to the library office, "If you're still willing to help us, I believe you and I can cover more ground anyway."

"Rupert... I'm with you all the way. Not backing out now... nor later." I said truthfully.

I have no idea why I had become so devoted to the cause, but I can't deny that I have. Probably it was from the guilt of the kiss. Guilt from the wish? Both. Maybe I knew helping Rupert find Buffy was my only link to finding Jenny. -What ever the reason, Rupert has undeniably grown to be an ally, and I much preferred it. It's not fun when he constantly wants to beat me into a bloody pulp. And he actually was a great guy...  _not that I was falling in love with him or anything._

Rupert looked at me strangely, "Are you sure we've never met before?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, you're... you just..." He shook his head. "Never mind. I've just been going crazy lately."

"Maybe I can give you some peace of mind..." I said, "I have a trunk load of hospital supplies. I stole it... kinda. Point is, not only will I be safely watching the Scoobies patrol from a distance, but if their is any serious trouble, they have an fully loaded instant doctor to hit the scene."

"Great!" he said excitedly, "That will be great. Speaking of, I have something to give you..." I followed him into his office, and he handed me a piece of paper from his desk. "It's the patrolling schedule I gave to the kids. I figured you needed one too."

"Cool thanks."

"It says what cemeteries they will be going to... or what streets they will be hunting down." Rupert began organizing books in his self, "They even made nicknames yesterday, but I didn't think it to be important enough for you to worry about."

"So why are you having the kids patrol?" I asked, "Isn't that the slayers job?"

"Yes. It was the kids idea..." he huffed, "they thought it best to not let the vampires become aware of the fact that there is no slayer in town. As much as I hate them putting themselves in danger, their not wrong."

"Look at you British man..." I said. "Saving the world, planning patrols, protecting the people you love, and searching for your slayer... how do you manage to do it all?"

He opened a drawer from his desk, and froze. He slowly pulled out a pink gem attached to a red necklace band. It was a Rose Quarts.

"Well, I try. But I can't do everything..." he whispered, "Some people slip through the cracks."

He gripped the gem tight in his hands. It must have been Jenny's. Rose Quarts are popular gypsy luck charms. I stood in silence as he reminisced in her memory. I didn't know what I could say. I wanted to tell him about the wish, but I felt so ashamed. I opened my mouth to say something, but he dropped the gem on the floor. I looked him in his eyes and they were closed.

"Rupert... you okay?" I reached out to touch him but his whole body stiffened. "Rupert?"

He didn't respond. Something was unnatural with his pose. I tried to shake him, and slowly his eyes opened. He looked at me. His eyes widened.

"What happened?" he rasped.

"You tell me?" I asked, "You just froze up."

"I saw... I felt..." He searched his memory, "No, that can't be..."

"Need a second opinion on that?" I joked hoping he would share what had just happened.

*Rupert*

I saw her again. Jenny. Another one of those flashes consumed my mind and I watched an imaginary event unfold.

 _I handed the Rose Quarts to Jenny. I was returning it to her. When I hopped in the car beside her, she put it on the rear-view mirror and told me to keep it. -_ The rear-view mirror was exactly where I found it. I couldn't remember how it happened to get there either.

I looked at Ralph who was eyeing me curiously. I had to provide some sort of explanation, but I wasn't even sure what to explain.

"Remember when I said I was going crazy...?" I swallowed my fear, "Well, I wasn't lying."

"Would you like me to give you a doctors opinion?"  _Meaning he wanted to know more about what I just saw._

"That won't be necessary." I replied truthfully.  _If I got to see Jenny... then I probably didn't mind going crazy. I needed her presence. No matter how crazy I had to be to get it._

"Fine." he huffed in frustration.

I reached down to grab the Rose Quarts, and stuffed it into my pocket, "Um... well, thank you for informing me. Do you have a new number I can reach you at?"

"Yea... let me right it for you." he took a pen from my jar of writing utensils and he scribbled it on a notepad.

"Home number." he replied handing it to me. "I'll be home for the rest of today. I think I should preform a spell... it might be able to track her down, but I can't be too sure."

He smiled to the idea, "Magic. Good. Yes. Well, you'll call if you find anything."

"I will." He looked at me as if he had more to say. He must have changed his mind, because then he walked away with out another word.

I turned to my desk and stood wondering what was happening to me. Was I going crazy? Or was this Jenny's way of sending signs to find Buffy?

I thought about the connection of the two flashes. First one was her and I killing vampires then dancing, and this was a Rose quarts? I saw no connection between the two but I wasn't about to drop the theory. It was the only one I had.

I had to have another vision, or flash... maybe I'd have more answers.  _But how?_ First vision I had, I was at her tombstone. Now I was holding her Rose Quarts. Maybe the visions were connected to Jenny's possessions?

I didn't hesitate to leave the library and headed straight to Willow's classroom. It was possible that Jenny's old class would have something to trigger another flash.

The halls were empty so it was easy to get around. I took the stairs up to her class practically running eager to be embraced with her imaginary presence. But when I reached the top of the first flight of steps, I was stopped.

### FLASHBACK ###

"Sorry Jenny..." Angelus's vampiric eyes gleamed into my soul, "This is where you get off."

With a twist of his hands, excruciating pain traveled down my spine as I fell to the floor.

### From Passion ###

I opened my eyes to find myself on the floor of the staircase. I didn't stop trying. I crawled a bit and tried to stand back up. With out waisting another second, another flash penetrated my mind.

### FLASHBACK ###

"Rupert!" I reached out above my head barely able to breath from the floor.

A man at the top of the steps turned around and dropped everything he held when he looked down at me.

"Jenny?" he cried. He rushed to her side, running down the stairs. He couldn't believe she was alive, and neither could she.

### From Chapter 1: Waking Up ###

I opened my eyes.

_What a rush._

I stopped trying to move and rolled over on my back. I wasn't sure I could take anymore. I breathed unnaturally and tried to relax. As soon as the bell rang letting students out of class, I quickly stood up. This time with no side effects.

I looked around at all the students passing by, and realized the life I was living. A life with out her. With out Jenny. I was hating it. I couldn't live with it. I couldn't fucking live with it! And I wasn't about to go another second with out her...

I dangerously began craving for another flash. I needed to see her.

*Jenny*

I managed with one hand to drag the buckets of concrete onto the Dolley. I left my swollen arm away from any stress and was able to quickly take ten trips. Ten buckets of concrete were awaiting the group of helpers helping Marty at the ice skating rink. They were probably getting started with it now.

While I was waiting in the janitor's closet, I was sitting on a bucket and staring at the logo. Nothing special. But J&R Concrete was the only thing all day that could make me smile. Maybe of course it was just coincidence, but my thoughts were untamable.

 _J for Jenny, and R for Rupert. Jenny and Rupert Concrete._ It was like saying " _Jenny and Rupert Always._ " I smiled and aloud myself to daydream. It was a dangerous thing for my mind to do, but I couldn't help myself. I surrendered to the thought of Rupert.

I guess I could see how Rupert and I were like concrete. It took us a long while to build a foundation before we could build our friendship, and when we first started out, we were shiny and new. Then with time... cracks begin to form. Cracks began to grow. Before we knew it, a bridge collapsed and people died. Ever since, our concrete roads have been abandoned... ignored... left to crack even deeper. Maybe some one will come through and repair those cracks. Or maybe not.

Maybe I'm meant to stay broken forever.

Marty came back thanking me for my work. He knew he worked me pretty hard and promised for the rest of the day to give me the easier jobs. He sent me to take out the trash, and then sent me upstairs to his office where I cut out hundreds of pre-made tickets. The entire process took longer than I thought it would, but it was all worth it. I stayed out of the way of Buffy, but got to watch her from the see-through walls of his upstairs office as she worked on the rink down below.

I watched Buffy from above.  _What an Angel I was._ I joked.

Marty was right. From what I counted, only eight people were down at the rink helping him out. Now many volunteers.

My easy jobs were easy on my arm. After today, I was going to get it checked. I couldn't handle it's pain anymore. Their was a great chance something was broken, and it would be infected if I didn't take care of it soon. I just hoped it wasn't already infected.

Just like Marty promised, I left an hour before everyone else and I would arrive the same time tomorrow: An hour before everyone else. Marty handed me my uniform and told me I would work the ticket both tomorrow by myself. Only one person was needed, and I could avoid everyone. I thanked him, but he insisted that it was no problem and that what I was doing for him was an even greater kindness. I gave him my good-bye and walked to the nearest hospital for my arm.

*Xander*

It took me a while before I could find Giles after school, but by chance I was going to ask Willow in her class and Giles was there.

Giles had a strange look in his eyes. He looked at me and his smile twitched, "Willow went to the library to look for you."

"I'll find her in a second," I said walking beside him, "I was actually looking for you."

"What about?" He let out an unexpected laugh that frightened me.

"It's about Ms. Calendar..." I said carefully.  _Maybe I shouldn't bring her up. He was in her old classroom and acting strange... I should have waited..._

"What about." He looked at me with a serious glare. Finally he was acting like his normal self. "I set up a date to visit her. We're going on July 7th."

"J-July 7th?" he asked the same way Ms. Calendar had on the phone, "Actually... that's a great idea Xander, I would love to visit her then. Maybe we should bring everyone... Willow, Oz, Cordy...?"

"Uh... Giles, I don't think Jenny want's them to come. I know she loves them but... I'll be in enough trouble by bringing you along."

Giles looked at her desk with a blank stare. His voice got sad, "You really think she was that mad at me?"

"I don't know anything about the fight you two got in Giles. All I know is that she needs you and misses you just as much as you miss her." I said firmly.

"You can't know that Xander."

"No... maybe I can't..." I admitted, "But I think you love her enough to at least find out."

"A little dramatically stated..." Giles said, "But I guess your right... I love her too much to just sit around." He huffed, "Fine I go with you... but when we get there, I would like be alone with her privately at one point."

"Don't worry. Won't get in your business this time. I've learned my lesson." I said honestly.

"What do you mean 'this time'?" he said confused.

"Never mind... I better go find Willow," I started heading out of the class, "The gang and I will start our first patrol tomorrow and I'll have Willow call to tell you how it went. I would call, but I'd probably forget."

"Alright." he replied, "Be safe."

"Ew! Giles... I'm not talking about sex... I'm talking about patrolling! Oh..." I looked at Giles who was avoiding my gaze and I felt embarrassed, "Bye." I shouted and ran out of the class avoiding his reaction.

Hormones... they mess with you sometimes.

*Giles*

After that... interaction with Xander, I finally had the courage to walk away from Jenny's old class. I saw things. Little things. Her working on her computer, fixing files, or lecturing to her class. I had no idea what she was talking about but I loved how my brain was letting me reminisce to the sound of her silky voice.

Then I saw Angelus. I saw him... playing with her, teasing her. It must have been the night she died. She had just discovered his cure when it happened. Or maybe the whole event was made up in my head.

When my flash ended, Xander walked in the room. I was filled with the same rage that filled me when I went after Angelus. I hoped Xander wouldn't notice... I had to hide it fast. But the mention of Ms. Calendar from Xander's lips made almost all the tension disappear.

The kid was a genius sometimes. I would love to visit Jenny's tombstone on her birthday. But for now... I had to find other ways to satisfy myself with her presence. I wasn't sure the flashes were a healthy choice, so I left the class and headed home. I needed a level head and a clear place to think about all this. Jenny was driving me insane and part of me forgot to care.

On the way home, I felt every bump and crack the car made as it drove over the concrete street.

*Jenny*

"Why didn't you get this checked sooner?" said the nurse as she examined my swollen arm.

"I didn't have the time. Personal issues." I shifted uncomfortably on the paper in the hospital chair.

The red headed nurse had her hair up in a bun and looked like she'd be rather shrewd if you really got to know her.  _But that was just my point of view._

"You live in Los Angeles?" She asked looking at me briefly.

"Just recently."

"You live with your family?"

I looked away, "No... I, uh... I don't really have a family."

"Oh I see..." she replied. She took a pen from her desk and wrote into my file.

From what I saw, I believe she wrote the word "Candidate" on the paper. But that made no sense to me so I figured I read it wrong.

"Well let me go get a doctor to take a look at your arm... and we'll see what happens from there."

"Okay." I half smiled as she walked out.

Five minutes later, a doctor came in and told me to follow him to an x-ray room. He examined my arm as I held it out for him to take X-rays. He didn't talk to me much... other than to tell me what to do. Doctors in Los Angeles didn't make small talk with patients I guess... but it sure did make me miss the doctors we had back in Sunnydale.

I waited another twenty minutes in the waiting room until the doctor came out to explain to me what was wrong.

"Well, your arm is not broken, and nothing to serious has happened." He showed me a picture of my X-ray as if I understood anatomy as much as he did. He pointed to parts of the photo, "See these lines here and here..? Well, they are actually tears in your muscle. People tear their muscles all the time when they exercise, its very common, but this tear is rather unusually large. That's why it's swollen... your arm needs rest for it to heal faster but the process can still take about a month for it to heal completely. I can put a cast on it if you like? It won't make the pain stop, but it can prevent any other further injury to you arm..."

"Sounds perfect." I replied half-asleep and just wanting to return to my room, "How long will that take?"

"No more than ten minutes... follow me."

The doctor was surprised when I paid for my visit all with cash but took it none the less. My new cast stopped at my fingers, and covered up my wrist where the muscle tears had been. At least my arm was being taken care of.

After my doctor visit, I hurried home and got sleep preparing myself for the big day tomorrow. The Science Convention.


	32. Warrening Manual

*Rupert*

Going home was not exactly as safe as I thought it would be. In fact, going home only increased the number of flashes I saw. In each flash I saw more of Jenny. I felt more of her. In one flash upstairs, I felt Jenny being pressed against my body,  _or maybe I was feeling my body against hers._  I started to notice that my visions were in her point of view which made me love them even more.

When I was at home, stories would unfold that had us touching each other in a way I'd never imagine we would have touched. We never had sex in my flashes, but we sure as hell were getting there. Sparks flew. Lower halves hardened. and all in just one simple kiss.

I didn't understand what was going on, or even why it was happening. My theory changed constantly. I started to think Jenny was sending me signs but when I saw that none of the flashes had anything in common, my next theory was that Jenny was trying to haunt me.

But I knew Jenny, and she'd never do such a thing. My final conclusion, I was flat out just going crazy... and I think I was okay with that. With every vision, I was becoming so wrapped up in her memory that I started to become scared to go with out it.

_What if the flashes stopped? What if I never got to see her again...?_

The flashes had me wrapped under their spell, and however dangerous I knew they were... I could slowly feel an addiction growing inside me. I didn't even have to provoke them, they just happened. I had only four flashes that night, but I knew that it was only the beginning of my madness.

That night, I did the oddest thing. Before I fell asleep, I thanked God for his generosity. For his mercy. He saw me suffering, and with his help I was now going insane. I loved it. It was the only way I got to see her.

*Jenny*

My cast was not easy for me to adjust to, but I knew it would help. As soon as I arrived at work, Marty made sure he was the first person to sign it.

"This didn't happen yesterday did it?" He asked worried, "With the concrete?"

"No Marty." I assured him, "This actually happened before I started working here. Yesterday was just the first time I was able to get it checked."

"Why didn't you say anything? Why did you let me make you move around those heavy buckets of concrete!" He began to panic, "Oh Jennifer..."

"Marty. Don't worry... yesterday never bothered me. I promise."

He rolled his eyes, "Well... if you say so. But today you're collecting tickets so you shouldn't worry. Nothing to hard for your arm to handle... I hope."

"I'll be fine."

Our matching red and white stripped uniforms made me think of the uniforms the workers wore at the Doublemeat Palace back in Sunnydale. Of course, without the ridiculous hats with the cow on them.

Marty looked around him as if he was forgetting something. I looked with him unsure with what we were looking for. "What's up Marty?"

"Oh... I just had something for you but I must have misplaced ... Oh! I found it!"

He walked over to a plastic baggie on his desk and pulled something out of it. He held it tightly in his palms, then slowly revealed the present in his hands. It was a name tag with my name inscribed on it.  _Jennifer._

I collected it into my hands and rubbed my name with my thumb. The last time I got something with this name inscribed on it, it was from my desk at Sunnydale High. The name seemed so much like my own... and I liked it. Sure, it might of been a common name but it was mine. The name had a special meaning to me. It was a way I could separate myself from the Kalderash, and became my new label. It's the name that brought me to Rupert and the gang.

I pinned the tag to my shirt, "Thanks Marty."

"Here... I'll show you to the ticket both."

Marty took me to the ticket booth and prepared me for the work ahead. All I had to do was sell tickets, or if it was a competitor entering in his robot then I'd ask for identification and check them off the list of pre-paid competitors.

After he got me started, the other workers arrived and he left to individually give each one their task. When doors opened up and the Robot wars began, the day was a synch.

*Ralph*

I had been up most of the night trying to figure out a way around Jenny's protective barrier. Since she'd come back alive, the super natural has put a protective barrier around her making spells unable to track her. That's why all the bad guys were having trouble finding her. The protective barrier was temporary, but I thought it would have been gone by now.

There was no way around it.

When I did the same spell for Buffy, I also was unable to track her. Maybe it was a slayer thing. Or Jenny was smart enough to put a protective barrier around the both of them so neither of them could be found. Honestly, I had no idea why I couldn't track them. Maybe I was doing the spell wrong. Or maybe at one point they both had died.

*Jenny*

Ticket. Contestant. Ticket. Contestant. The job was pretty easy. As time came to around noon, I had all but one Contestant checked off the list. And spectators became less and less as they trickled inside.

The Robot Wars must have already begun. Those still coming in must have been late. When I figured the last person on the list wasn't coming, I crumpled up the paper to throw it away.

Before I did that, I heard violent knocking at the ticket booth window. I jumped in my seat. I had been frightened until I saw I worried boy looking at me through the glass.

"I'm late!" he said desperately, "I need to hurry! My name is Warren Mears! Can I go in?"

I unwrinkled the paper in my hand and saw his name was the one I hadn't checked.

"I need some kind of identification..." I said sorry that I was a factor in his delay.

"Really?" He breathed. He was covered in sweat, he must have ran here, "Okay. Fine!"

He put a book on the counter top of the ticket booth and quickly put his small contraption on top of it. He violently searched in his backpack for his Wallet. When he pulled out, he opened it up and pressed his picture against the window.

Warren Mears was written on it with a picture of him beside his name.

"Okay. Good Luck. Hurry." I said quickly.

"Yea thanks..." he said almost sarcastically.

He took his robot and ran inside. I watched him run and hoped he wouldn't hurt himself, but he seemed to be okay. Just late.

I continued throwing my paper away now that everyone was checked off and when I turned back around, I realized the kid had forgotten his book of his designs.

Without hesitation, I jumped out of the ticket booth, grabbed it, and looked behind me. "Hey! You left your -" I saw no one behind me, "book..."

I debated whether I should run after him, but I knew I couldn't, even if I wanted to. I couldn't leave the ticket booth unattended, and no matter where I ran in the rink, I couldn't be sure I wouldn't run into Buffy. I sighed in defeat and kept the manual in the ticket booth with me hoping that he'd come back for it.

Time went on. Hours later and nightfall approached and people began leaving the ice rink in groups. I kept an eye out for Warren, but I never saw him. By the time I was sure it was over, I must have missed him. Nobody was left coming out of the rink.

Soon enough Marty came to relieve me of my duties.

"How was it today?" he asked.

"Not bad." I shrugged thankful for the easiness on my arm, "But a kid left his manual at the ticket booth. He ran inside quickly and accidentally left it. I couldn't find him afterwards. He didn't come to retrieve it either. I hope he didn't need it..." I said showing it to Marty, "It looks like it was for his robot."

"Hey, I heard a kid was looking desperately for this thing." he shrugged, "He left a while ago, you must have missed him. Warren... I think his name was." He said trying to recall, "His robot worked fine without it, I think he said he was working on designs for a new one. He was going on about how amazing it was... 'like a humanoid but better' he kept saying."

I laughed lightly at Marty's obvious annoyance at the kid.

He continued, "I'm glad he didn't have that manual. Probably would have been showing it off like crazy. He thought he left it at home. It doesn't matter Jennifer, he probably has it on his computer anyway... you can throw it out."

"He may come back for it tomorrow." I suggested.

"Doubt it. A new group of contestants are coming tomorrow..." he looked at me politely, "You're missing some great Robo face punching. Would you like me to give you a job inside the rink tomorrow so you can watch the commotion?"

I shook my head, "Thanks but no. This is the perfect place for me to be."

"Okay." he smiled, "But don't say I didn't try."

I left the manual inside the ticket booth and decided that it wouldn't hurt to hold onto it for another day incase the kid did come back. I went home after work and went to sleep for the next busy day of ticket collecting.

*Xander*

Today was the first day of the Scooby gangs patrol. We all met at the same grave yard, and I was able to convince Cordy to help us just this once. Oz was the last one to arrive, and when he did... that's when the patrolling began.

We were all supplied with stakes, and the girls held a container of Holy Water. Oz and I held a Cross. Not long after our patrolling began, I was becoming paranoid. I couldn't help but feel like someone was watching us.

Things were quiet between the group. We weren't sure what to do. Usually Buffy took charge in such situations. No one really wanted to take her place. As we all became comfortable uninterrupted by the undead blood suckers near some picnic table, Willow finally broke the silence.

"I think I have a way for us to find Buffy." we all looked at her in disbelief. She blushed before she continued, "I know how this sounds, but I think it's something I can do. I'm getting stronger and stronger everyday when it comes to magic. I would need your guy's help also."

"I don't know Willow." I admitted, "First time you tried a spell, vampires attacked. Second time you were in a hospital. I think you should avoid magic for awhile until you get better."

"Okay. I'll do that." she said rushed, "but I still want to try. This is Buffy we're talking about."

"Well, what is it?" Oz said soothingly.

"I was reading my Wicca books and I came across a way to talk to the spirit world... not much different than the spell I did when I was trying to retrieve Angel's soul."

"But Buffy's not dead." Cordelia butted in.

"I know that." Willow said looking at her, "But Angel might be."

We all were silent. Except for Cordy, "Okay. It's official! You guys are lunatics! You're going to talk to Angel in the spirit world? What if in the spirt world he has an 'US' at the end of his name? Am I the only one that see's the suicide mission playing out here?" Cordy walked over to Willow and grabbed her by the shoulders, "Look Willow... I know Buffy's disappearance is saddening... to you... but it's not worth killing yourself over. There is always a new slayer when the old one dies."

Willow shrugged her off disgustedly. "How can you say that about Buffy? She saved the world! Twice. She even saved your life more than once Cordelia. Maybe it's about time you returned the damn favor."

Oz and I cringed at Willow using words not from her vocabulary. Oz went to hug her side.

"Calm down you guys. Cordy show some respect..." I looked at Willow, "But Cordelia also made a good point. Willow you're not going to contact Angel, that's to dangerous."

"Well how else do you expect we find Buffy?" Willow almost started crying, "Giles can't do it! Have you seen him lately! He's going crazy! He's beating himself up more and more. He won't admit it to any of us, but it's obvious he doesn't even know where to start searching for her! Buffy needs us Xander. We have no other option!"

"Actually... I think I have an idea." Oz started, "How about Ms. Calendar?"

I shivered, "Wha-wha-what about Ms. Calendar? How is she supposed to help us? She can't help us. She's dead."

"Exactly!" Cordelia said, "Ms. Calendar's dead! Maybe we can try talking to her instead of Angel!"

"It's definitely much safer." Oz added.

"Uh-"

Willow interrupted me, "But what would Ms. Calendar know? Do you really think that Ms. Calendar would know where Buffy was? That's kind of a stretch guys."

Oz looked at Willow, "Maybe she's watching her from heaven."

"You think so?" Willow said hopeful.

"I think it's worth a try to find out."

"What about Kendra!" I shouted, "She is more fresh... to the dead world... maybe slayers have some kind of connection thingy, and she can give us a better connection to the Buffster."

Hey. I think I came up with a brilliant idea. Go Xander, go Xander, go Xander!

"Maybe..." Willow started. "but who ever we choose, we just can't tell Giles. He wouldn't want me preforming another spell as long as I live."

"Agreed." Oz said quickly.

I put my hand in the middle of our little circle. I felt a little childish, but Willow knew what I was doing. She put her hand in the middle with me, and Oz and Cordy followed not long after.

"On the count of three slayerettes! One Two Three..."

"-Slayerettes!" we all shouted.

The rest of the night was slow. No vampires came out of hiding, but I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching us.

*Ralph*

 _Darn kids!_  I thought.

I ducked a blow from a vampire I had been fighting, and then I kneed it in the gut. It pushed me to the ground when it howled in pain. I looked around for my stake and found it under my foot. I stomped on the tip of the stake with the tip of my shoe and it went flying in the air. I caught it, and jumped back to my feet.

The vampire, no longer focused on his pain, lunged at me. He pushed me to the floor again. When I landed on my back, he landed on my stake.

Dust.

I got back to my feet coughing on vampire dust. I looked up through the bushes that I had been watching the kids patrol from and couldn't believe they all had been totally oblivious to the vampire that had passed them.

_Oh this patrolling is going to be fun! I watch a bunch of kids standing around and I fight all the vampires!_

I couldn't hear what the kids were talking about, but they calmed down from their heated debate and I noticed Xander continuously looking around nervously. I wonder if he knew I was around watching them.

The rest of the night was easy. No vamps left to kill.

*Damian/Dot*

Xander and his friends left his house, after finally feeding me a decent meal, to go patrolling. Right now, I had managed to get myself outside. He left me the door wide open. I guess I was thankful for Xander's lack of responsibility. His parents were never home, Xander didn't seem to notice... or care. I didn't either... but just a bit curious.

Anyway, now that I was outside for a bit, I took a quick trip to spy on the enemy. I remembered where Rupert lived so it wasn't too hard to find him. Same house. Same place. Same street. Just one less house guest.

 _Jenny wasn't coming back here if I had anything to say about it_.

Once at Rupert's door step, I could smell that he was inside. With one deep breath, The ground grew to be further and further beneath me. My fur crawled back into my back, and my face strained as it turned back to normal. The pressure on my body when turning human made my whole body go numb for a couple minutes. I ignored the pain and stood by Rupert's window in the dark night. I stood wearing nothing but a black pair of shorts and the vengeance demon collar wrapped tight around my neck.

Peeking through Rupert's window, I stood confused with what I saw. Glass was every where on the floor. Rupert was rummaging through his kitchen and walked out holding as many glass cups or vases he could find. He carefully placed them all on his kitchen table, and one at a time he would take one glass object, walk out of sight for me to see, and then I would hear glass shatter. He replayed this routine plenty of times. I didn't understand his weird ritual.

He was about to pick up the next glass when the phone rang. He froze. For a moment he didn't do much. Looking around confused, he finally put down the glass cup and went to answer the phone.

As Rupert answered the phone, I changed back into a pup. My transfiguration was a power I've picked up in my years of power hunting. It was a gift from powerful gypsy friend. Ever since, it has inspired my search for more power collecting.

As I Crawled around, I tried to smell anything suspicious. I thought some one was controlling him. I thought he could have been put under a spell. But the reason Rupert was so easy to smell from outside was because he was emitting gusts of fear. I can't believe I hand't realized it before. Fear, desperation. Rupert was going crazy.

I smiled. That's something I could work with. Maybe I didn't need to worry about the bastard. His house was covered with scents of insanity. Maybe Rupert will take care of himself for me.

Before Rupert finished his phone call, I turned around and ran back to Xander's place.

*Rupert*

Ralph had just called to tell me that the patrol had gone great. When I hung up the phone, my phone started ringing again. I hadn't really minded. I wasn't sleeping. And I liked knowing that everyone else was doing okay.

"Hello?"

"Hey Giles! It's Willow." Her voice was so young and it really was a nice sound for Giles to relax to, "Xander told me to call and tell you we all survived. No vampires tonight."

"Thank you Willow." I said with a smile, "Make sure you guys are ready though when you see one."

"How about you?" she asked, "Anything new on Buffy."

I looked around my house. A lot of things were broken. Glass was practically all over the floor. I hadn't had the most productive day.

"Uh... not exactly, but I have called more friends and more people are out on the hunt for her. It's not just me anymore."

"Good." Willow said relieved, "Well, sweet dreams Giles. Don't forget to get some sleep. I know you've needed it lately."

"Will do." I lied, "Sweat dreams Willow."

I hung up the phone and continued where I left off. I did my best to walk around the glass, but couldn't avoid stepping on it sometimes. Once I got into the kitchen, I was able to sit on the counter and clear up the scars on my feet.

Some flashes I saw made me mad. Others I loved.

I got a broom from the closet and began cleaning up my mess. Earlier I dropped a drinking glass and with a blink of an eye, I saw Jenny at the top of the steps waiting for me crying. I went a little crazy after that. I went through my kitchen and tried dropping all my glasses so I could see her again, but I only saw the same flash two more times. It was about time I cleaned up the mess. I cleared the table and swept the floor.

That was the only flash I saw all day. I hated that I didn't understand how they were triggered, but enjoyed them as they came. When I finished cleaning up, I decided to take Willow's advice and try to sleep. I tossed in my bed all night. It was hard to go with out her for too long. I craved her unlike anything I've craved before.

*Jenny*

The next day at work I saw Buffy twice, looking no different. She still had the dead gleam in her eyes. That Warren kid had also not come back for his manual, but just to make sure... I held onto it until Marty told me my shift was over.

Again, alone with my thoughts. The ticket booth was now a dangerous job for me to preform. After people stopped trickling in, I was alone with no distraction. I was becoming rather testy.

Event's like this were more popular than I realized. I could hear bits and pieces of shouting coming from inside. Robot wars sounded intense. I didn't know metal beating metal was a such a praised cause.

I looked at Warren's inch think manual. I remember taking robotics classes in college. I took the classes for the fun of it. I was born with the gift to understand technology so easily. However, I never wanted to grow up to be an engineer or anything like that. Those type of jobs seemed too dull for me. Teaching was much more interesting. However, I remember how exciting it was for me when I built my first remote controlled robot. I definitely surprised my college professor. Nobody expected much from me because I was... more provocative than the rest of the fellow classmates. I wasn't as "Giles-looking" as the rest of them. They thought I was taking the class for science credits or something. They didn't understand how a social girl like me could have so much fun and talent in their high-leveled class. But I did. It just hadn't turned out to be a hobby that I pursued.

I'd never been to a robot convention before, even in a college. I thought they were filled with snobby rich kids that could afford the parts their robots needed. I was mostly right.

Looking at the manual, I was glad something could keep my mind occupied for a while. I reached over and moved it in front of me so I could see the front cover more clearly.

Humanoid 1. Prototype. by Warren Mears.

I guess he couldn't come up with a better name. _Humanoid 1? Why not Data? or Robo-Being?_

I became curious with how much the world had advanced in robotics since I'd last been in college. I wondered if I could still understand the technical language. My curiosity filled me to the point where I had to at least glance through it.

I flipped through the first couple pages which basically was the index and listed the expensive parts needed for Mr. Humanoid 1. I started reading it when I found the pages explaining what the robots functions were.

Apparently, the way this was designed, it was supposed to look like a human being. Not just built in the form of one, but able to trick a person into thinking it was human. I was so interested in it's designs, and it's functions that I hadn't noticed a person was waiting for me to help them at the window. She knocked on the window to get my attention and I jumped from my seat.

It was a woman. "Hey, may I have a ticket?"

"Oh... yes." I nodded reaching down for the box of money, "Three dollars."

She handed me three dollars, and I handed her the ticket.

"Thanks." She said walking inside.

I watched her walk away, and then went back to reading. Every once and a while I would look up to check for customers, but hardly any more people came. I looked at the list of programs that the robot could run, and I was simply amazed! It could preform daily human interactions, interpret what a person says and reply, responds to moods, basically... it could do anything a human could do.

It was like Data from Star Trek, however without the advanced thought process. You programed it how to think... the robot seemed to be unable to think for itself.

"Have'n fun there?"

I looked over and Marty was leaning against the wall of the ticket booth watching me. I hadn't even heard him approach. I hadn't even noticed how dark it had gotten.

"Hey Marty." I smiled putting the book down beside me, "You need anything?"

"No actually... your shift is over." He said laughing, "Has been for the last forty-five minutes. I wanted to check if you'd fallen asleep. I hoped you weren't to bored in here."

"I managed." I said holding the manual in my arms. I stood up from the ticket booth and glanced around at the darkness outside, "It's that late already?"

"Yea apparently it is... here, I have a gift for you." He pulled an envelope out of his pocket, "It's your paycheck."

"Oh." I walked out of the ticket booth still holding onto the manual and walked to his side. I huffed looking at the pay check. When I took it from his hands, it almost felt evil to be accepting it. I hadn't joined the job for the money, I joined it for Buffy.

"Marty..." I huffed handing it back, "I really can't take this."

"Of course you can."

"I didn't volunteer for this for the money. Trust me."

He hesitated for a second, "Look, just take it. Use it on your friends... pay the rent... what ever."

I paused, "Well... maybe I can use it on my friends." I looked at the envelope, "Is there anyway you can add this to Anne's pay?"

"W-what? A-Anne?" he stuttered confused, "You know her?"

"I-I bet she deserves it." I shrugged knowing Buffy, "Has she... uh, been doing the harder work? Lifting heavy things maybe? Has more energy than everyone else?"

He looked at me with a funny expression. "How did you-?"

"Lucky guess." This time I forced the check at him, "Add it on to hers and just don't tell her it's from me. Tell her she deserves it."

He slowly took the check away from me, "... I guess she does..."

"Thank you Marty," I hugged him, "for everything."

"Thank you." He said still amazed. He sounded breathless, "You take care now. Visit soon."

"I'll try." _More lies._

I was about to walk away when I forgot about the manual in my hands, "-Oh! Marty... the kid never came back for his manual."

"Manual?" he looked at it closely, "Oh... that. I told you he wouldn't... just throw it out. Don't worry about it."

With that, he walked away with a smile. I walked over to the trashcan while waving good bye to Marty. When I was about to throw it out, I froze.  _What if I kept it?_ I pondered it. _It's not a bad idea. I have nothing else to do alone in the hotel room but read. Maybe start a new project?_

Marty couldn't take his eyes off of the paycheck Jenny had handed him. In Los Angeles he had not met many people that would do anything that sweet. He was glad to have met her. He questioned how she knew Anne, but thought it best not to ask: it wasn't any of his business.

As the rest of the crew finished clean-up, he was in his office adding onto Anne's volunteer money. _Jennifer was right, Anne worked her butt off. She definitely deserved it._

It took about five minutes until the final shift was over, and the other seven members of the crew took their paychecks and went out to party at some local night club. Anne wasn't into it. She had the same gloomy look on her face and didn't follow them to the party. She preferred to go straight home.

Anne started heading out when Marty stopped her. She almost forgot to pick up her money.

"Don't forget this." Marty said handing her the envelope.

"Oh. Thanks." Buffy took it from him only briefly looking him in the eyes. She began to open the envelope and Marty was wishing she wouldn't open it here. He wasn't sure what to say when she saw it.

When she pulled it out, her eyes widened.

"Marty, you made a mistake. ...this was more than we talked about." She showed it to him, "Twice as much."

"I know," I pushed her envelope back to her, "You deserve it."

"But-"

"You girls are so stubborn... look, you did twice as much work as everyone else, so therefore you get twice as much pay. Understand? Now go! ...Have some fun kid. You look like you need it." He smiled warmly at her, "Have a nice summer."

Buffy looked at him hiding the delight in her eyes, "Thanks."

She turned around and walked away, and so did Marty.

*Jenny*

I watched Buffy walk away after Marty had given her the money. I was still hiding in the shadows out front debating wether or not I should throw away the manual. As I watched Buffy walk away, and idea came to mind.

 _What if I could watch Buffy with out hiding all the time?_ I looked again at the manual,  _Maybe build a robot to interact with her... that is, if I can get it to work properly. Doesn't seem to hard. The robot could watch her at a closer range. A robot that wouldn't have to hide in the shadows when she's around._

I put the manual in my arms as I walked home in the dimming lights of Los Angeles.

_No guarantee it will work... but it's worth a try._


	33. Happy Birthday Jenny

*Jenny*

The week flew by as I constructed my robo-helper. I drove by the nearest stores, such as Home Depot, for parts. While shopping I noticed major design flaws in the manual. However, I figured there would be. It was only a prototype. No flaw was to hard to work around. Easy fixes. By the end of the week, I had the build of the robot in the shape of a human figure. I had finished the last of my technological constructing.

After the week was up, I went back to the Hospital to get my cast removed. Marty had been the only one who signed it. It felt good to come off. My arm had been so itchy beneath it and I couldn't scratch. Now I thankfully could. The doctors warned me to keep it easy on the arm, and that if I wasn't careful, the cast would have to go right back on. My arm was no longer swollen, but now just discolored into a bruise.

I also received a phone call about Buffy. She was hired and working at Helen's Kitchen, down the street, starting Monday. I was proud of her. Her new manager, Mitch, said he would gladly inform me of her progress without telling Buffy about me. He said,  _It's glad to know that some one is watching after the poor girl. I mean, she is just a kid._  He promised me weekly calls.

Now that Buffy had a job, my new robot had to be up and running as soon as possible. By the end of the week Xander would be visiting, so I planned to finish it before then. All my robot needed to be complete was a human covering, and programs to run on.

_This robot was, what I believe, to be the best thing I've done this summer._

Every night I stayed late at the nearest local library building programs for my robot. Most of the programs had to do with the subtle need to protect Buffy, and the ability to communicate to her and respond to her emotions. I was always the last person to leave the library every night while I worked on my programming.

During the day I used this odd mixture Warren had created to look like skin. In the bowl I was mixing the ingredients in, it looked nothing like skin. It looked like clear soup. But as I started to brush it onto the robot, it came out of the bowl looking like goo. After covering the entire robot with the warm clear goo, the next step in the manual was to paint it over with skin colors.

By mid week, programs were built, and all I had left to do was to design the features of my robot.

*Ralph*

Patrolling wasn't as great as it started off. We were coming across, at least one vampire a week. One got away from the kids, and the other one they dusted...  _accidentally._

Of course the kids were trying to dust vampires, but the vampire did not dust because of their awesome slaying skills. He dusted because he fell... on a twig. But, I still considered that progress.

Every vampire that got away from them, I hunted them down, and dusted them myself. Hard work watching over these kids... but it was worth it. I earned trust from Rupert, and it kept me on my toes as I searched for Jenny.

Nancy said no calls had been made for me about Jenny or Buffy, and they hadn't come into the hospital either. It wasn't hard to guess that they were no longer in town. It wasn't hard for me to also deduce that they were together. I knew Jenny. And I knew that she, more than any of us, wanted Buffy safe. I bet she chased her down, found her, and is watching over her some where. I just wish I knew where.

Rupert was as useless as the rest of us. He hadn't a clue of where to find Buffy.

*Rupert*

"What day is it?" I asked turning in my sheets.

 _Two more days until Jenny's birthday,_ I reminded myself.

I forced myself out of bed. I had promised Joyce that I would visit her soon. I figured today would be best. I wish I could arrive with good news. But I simply had none.

The kids visited her as often as possible. She was a mess, but she was strong. I admired her for her strength. It wasn't something I was able to do. I wasn't able to be strong. I was at my weakest point. I was missing both of my girls.

Joyce did her best to get involved with the neighborhood, and get her mind away from her heart break. She made some nice friends that tried to help her through it, and I was glad for her. Joyce was the only person I knew that could meet the good people of Sunnydale. Everyone else tended to run in with the wrong crowd. I was also glad she made friends because at first I was the only one that could help her, and I couldn't even help myself.

Summer was awful. I saw flashes and tried to ignore them, but they kept coming. I felt pain every time I saw Jenny. I was happy to be embraced with her presence, but horrified to be away. I was furious that I saw what I couldn't have. I began to hate her for making me want her so badly... and making it harder for me to find Buffy.

I had friends across the world helping me find Buffy, but none had called yet with a lead. All I could do was drive around California and wait. I drove at night because that was usually the time of day I figured Buffy would be out... but every morning that came, I was back in Sunnydale with no Buffy sightings.

I took a shower, loaded up in the car and went to go visit Joyce. All I could do was assure Joyce that Buffy was safe. In my heart, that was the only thing that I knew was true. It was the only thing that kept me sane. And I knew Joyce could see it in me. Every time I said Buffy was safe, I knew she could hear the truth in my words because she always believed me.

*Xander*

I called Ms. Calendar everyday to check in on her. No progress for her either. I told her I hadn't been able to find Ralph, and she found that a bit strange too.

However, I just couldn't wait to see Ms. Calendar again. Over the phone it's obvious how lonely she is. She said she is working on a new project... one that could help find Buffy, but I knew better. The only reason she was working on anything was because she was alone, feeling useless, and needing something to do. I wasn't sure what her project was, and I wasn't sure if it would work, but I knew on some level that this project was helping Ms. Calendar more than it would ever help find Buffy.

Now there was only one more day to patrol before the full moon. With Oz out, G-man and I were going to visit Ms. C. Hopefully they can patch up their differences and move on from their rumble. I told every one else that Giles was giving me a ride to my Uncle Rory's house so they wouldn't be suspicious that he was gone too.

If Giles needed to stay the whole weekend, then he can come back and say that he was following a lead he found about Buffy. -  _In my mind, it was all taken care of! However in reality, my plans don't work out as well as I imagine... or maybe thats just when I try to pass my math tests._

During our last patrol before the full moon, my mind was unfocused. I was trying to pay attention, but it was difficult. Tomorrow was going to be interesting turn of events, and I was going to be in the middle of it.

_Any vampires want to rid me of this anticipation? Come on! One time chance for free meat!_

No vampires attacked us that night. So I was left to face the wrath of Ms. Calendar tomorrow. The only thing she told me not to do was tell Giles where she was, and thats the only rule I broke.  _Oh dear..._ I wasn't sure what to expect. Maybe she will be to preoccupied with Giles to care. Or maybe not.

*Rupert*

I was awaiting Willow's phone call, as I do every night, and was surprised to hear Xander's voice instead.

"Hey Giles!" Xander said cheerfully, "I told Willow I'd call you tonight. No vampires attacked us so we are all safe at home."

"Thanks Xander." I replied.

"I wanted to call you also to make sure that you are still willing to visit Ms. Calendar with me tomorrow?"

"Absolutely." I actually started to like Xander's idea, "What time do you want me to pick you up?"

"Well... does ten AM sound too early? ...I think we need an early start."

I thought it was a little early to go to a graveyard but decided it be best if I could spend all day beside her rock anyway, "Fine. Ten AM. Be ready."

"I will." With that he hung up the phone.

I know Xander and I were just visiting her tombstone, but I was unable to sleep. I was very much excited to be closer to her body... even if it was ten feet under ground.

*Jenny*

I was cutting it close. It was the last night before Xander's weekend visit and I was almost done with the robot. The skin was painted, but like a sculptor, I had to make a believable looking body. I had bought the robot some clothes, and had already decided I would make the robot a male. If Buffy had ever gotten into an ugly situation that needed some butt-kicking, a guy would have a more believable reaction to help out.

From the feet up, I molded the robot. It took hours to make everything just right and follow Warren's directions completely.

On the robot's feet, I slipped on a brown pair of work shoes, similar to the ones Rupert wears. In about an hour, the feet dried and the shoes fit. Next, I worked on the legs. They were long, and proportioned evenly with the robot. I could tell by the size and shape of the robot, that I was either making a very tall teenager, or an older man.

_She seems to be avoiding the younger kids. She rarely socializes, but when she does, she connects more to the older people. Kinda like Marty..._

Besides, I doubt a teenager would carry as much muscle as the robot was constructing. I figured, more muscle, the more believable the punch. I mean, if the robot made a vampire fly across the room with one simple kick... he'd have to have some big muscles, right?  _...It was still a bit of a stretch, but it was the only way it would be more believable._

As the legs dried from the molded goo, I was hesitant working on the next part. I thought I would skip the crotch for all obvious reasons and move on, but I was unsure about how the robot would react to his lack of manliness. I decided to chance it, and skip it for now. I pulled a pair of blue jeans on to the robot, and moved on to the torso.

As I molded this body, I couldn't help but feel it was becoming a little sexual. I was molding the body of an older man, all alone, and in my hotel room. It sounded more sexual than it really was. The goo was hardly attractive, until after... it was dried... and molded.

 _It's for Buffy._ I reminded myself,  _I'm not molding an older man for sexual reasons. I mean... why would I be attracted to a robot?_

Robot. With one simple word, I went back to work with ease.  _Robot. It's not real._

The torso was so thick with wiring that I had to give the robot a little bit of a tummy with some pecks traced lightly into his skin. His arms were muscular, and his hands were veiny. I thought the overall feel of the robot would be cold, but because of the warm goo Warren discovered to use for skin, the robot was rather warm. It made the robot seem very real. I held the hand of the robot a bit longer than I needed to, and seduced the torso with my hands after it molded for the perfect feel of a body.

When I noticed I was becoming a bit to touchy with the robot, I hurried to dress it in a plain white t-shirt. Plain. Normal. This robot was turing out to be even more normal than I hoped.

Next I worked on the neck, and the back of the head. The hair was the most difficult to do. I had a wig of messy faded brown hair that I had to implant into the robot's head, and surround it with skin. The hard part was to get it to stay while putting a hair brush through it.  _If a hairbrush couldn't make the tangled wig fall off, then it should be firm enough to never fall off._

I followed Warren's instructions carefully and messed up a couple times before I got it just right.

While working the features on the face, I had to be carful and use the best of my imagination to create a man's features. I had to be carful because once the mold was dry, it would be to late for me to fix it. I started working my way down the forehead, putting a couple creases in his forehead for an older appearance. The eyebrows were thin and one of the hardest parts of the robot. Instructions only helped implant them. Not design them.

Next I worked on the ears. I made them a little big, but still human sized. Every detail, and every fold took an hour for each ear. I was determined not to mess up. I was determined to make a piece of art. I felt like a sculptress, and this robot was my canvas. The ears were placed in proportion to the hair, and I continued to make the chin with it's lips. This was much easier, except shaping the lips was a little difficult. In order to shape them, I lightly kissed the robot and my lips imprinted a shape onto his skin. I worked with it, making it more manly.

The nose was simple because it was already shaped by the robots construction. So last but not least, I had to finish the eyes. It was two AM in the morning and I was not tired. Working on this project gave me energy. I was so into my sculpting that time practically meant nothing.

The robots actual eyes were already on, but it needed eyelids above and below the actual eye. I smiled looking into the green eyes I had made. This robot was a master piece. It took weeks to make, and I wished that everything would work when I turned it on. As soon as the eye lids were completely molded around the green eyes, it was time to turn on the test switch.

_Wait... green? Green ... eyes?_

I backed away from my robot suddenly worried about my discovery.

"That's uh... green." I remembered putting together the green eyeballs, but something else dawned on me. Only one person I knew had green eyes, and I think thats why I picked them.

I backed away from my robot and gasped at what I saw.

I ran to turn on more lights in the room to get a better look at my robot, but no matter how many lights I turned on, it wouldn't take away the fact that I accidentally made Rupert.

The master piece that took weeks to complete, my selfish mind molded into Rupert. Maybe I didn't have an imagination and he was all that I had for reference. Or maybe, he was all that consumed my imagination.I just couldn't believe Rupert was the face staring back at me.

"No!" I cried, "No!"

I ran back to the robot trying to remold the face but it was to late, the goo was already dried as skin. My robot was ruined.

Buffy would run at the sight of her own watcher. The world from Sunnydale is what she needed to be away from, and now I can't use my robot. It has the wrong face. It has the face of someone she knows.

I stopped touching my robot's face and just looked at it, "I'm so selfish."

I was lonely, and I made Rupert. "How did I not notice? How is it that I can be so selfish? I don't need help! Buffy does!"

I was furious. It took weeks to make this for Buffy only to discover that I had made it for myself. Rupert wasn't a toy! I couldn't just pretend he is here so all my pain can disappear!

Tears began to form in my eyes at the sight of him. He was just standing there in front of my bed hunched over, eyes closed. Robo-Rupert. It almost made all of my fury go away with just the sight of him.

 _I worked so hard. At least check if the damn thing works._ I convinced myself.

I walked over to Robo-Rupert, pulled up his shirt, and opened up the control box in his back. With a huff of breath, I flipped the switch to turn him on. He lit up and began to make beeping noises as he woke up for the first time. I closed up his back, and pulled his shirt back down. I took a few steps back and watched as he slowly came to life.

Robo-Rupert stood up straight. He took a second to look at his hands.

"It works..." I breathed stunned.

The face of an angel turned to look at me. His deep green eyes held me for a second. I'm not a princess but the man I wanted was here, and he was picture perfect.

I slowly walked up to him and he took my hand. He compared it to his own hand while I just examined his face.  _How had I sculpted him so perfectly?_

His eyes moved from my hand to my eyes, "Why are you crying Jennifer Calendar? Where is Buffy?"

Even his voice was soothing just like I remembered it.

His hands went to hold my cheeks and he whipped away my tears.

"I can't do this." I said feeling his touch. I was melting in happiness and I was scared, "I can't do this."

I backed away from him and he watched me curiously. I moved around him to his back, and pulled up his shirt. I quickly opened him up and with a push of a button he froze. No movement. He was off.

I pulled his shirt back down and went back around him. He was frozen in a position of confusion.  _You didn't do anything wrong,_ I thought.  _It's just me._

Unable to take the pain of looking deep into his eyes, I pulled a blanket from off of my bed and threw it over him. His figure standing over my bed wasn't enough. I was still happy to see him so close. To know he was so close.  _But it's not him... it can never be him._

I tried to drag him into the closet, and with lots of struggle, it finally was shoved into the closet. I closed the door, and finally went to sleep on my blanket-less bed. For a while I cried into my pillow, until I had finally cried myself to sleep.

*Xander*

Today was the big day. The puppy, Dot, was excited and jumping around all over the house. I was planning to tell my parents that I'd be gone for the weekend but they weren't home. In fact, I don't believe I've seen my parents home all week.  _Oh well. Not like they'd really care._

I waited out in front of my house with my overstuffed backpack, and Dot ran outside with me. So I decided to lock the doors. Dot wasn't loosing any energy as he ran circles around my flower bushes. He never left the front porch. He was enthused to see Ms. C, and he didn't want to miss his ride. Every time a car drove by, he froze. He watched the car drive by, and when he realized it wasn't Giles he continued his outside play.

Finally, when it was Giles's car, he jumped into my arms.

Giles car had to be 5 times as old as Giles! I was a little frightened to drive such a far distance in such a fragile car.  _Maybe I should have asked to borrow Oz's car._

Giles jumped out of the car holding a bouquet of sunflowers. He looked at the dog viciously, "You didn't tell me you were bringing a dog."

"Oh... him." I pet the growling pup in my hands, "It's Ms. Calendar's. I was only taking care of him for a while."

"Oh." he looked at the pup again with a more apologizing look in his features, "She uh... never told me she had a dog."

Giles walked to the back of his car, and placed his bouquet in the trunk.

"Flowers for Ms. C?" I asked, putting the dog in the backseat.

"Ms. Calendar." He corrected me, "And yes. They are."

Giles went from the trunk and opened the back seat door to look at the puppy. I watched him watch the puppy. The puppy had laid out in the back seat already closing his eyes for the ride. Giles reached out to pet him, but changed his mind.

"Hey Giles..." I said taking notice of the circles under his eyes, "need a nap?"

He stood up closing the door, "No-no I'll be alright."

"How much sleep did you get?"

"I... uh, well..." He avoided my gaze, "I didn't."

"Then let me drive." I insisted, "I know where we are going anyway."

"I too know where we are going..." he said defensively, "Besides, I'm not sure I trust you to be driving my car."

"Giles... your car goes fifteen miles an hour at it's fastest. I know I'm Xander Harris... but even I can't screw that up."

He made his sarcastic face, "Xander Harris can do anything."

"And don't you forget it."

Reluctantly, he put his hand in his pocket and handed me the keys, "At least I'll be asleep and won't be up to see the damage you've inflicted on my car."

We both walked around the car to get into our new seat, "Hey, at least I won't be falling asleep in the car."

"Touche." He grumbled as we both got in the car and locked our doors.

I started the old car and it rumbled. For my first two minuets Giles watched me nervously. Then he soon fell fast asleep in the passenger seat. The puppy woke up from his nap and looked out the window the whole ride. I pushed Giles old car to it's limit by going as fast as sixty miles per hour on the freeway. Giles snored through every bump and crack the car experienced. As every minute passed, Dot became more and more impatient. About an hour into the drive he walked back and forth in the back seat growling lightly for no apparent reason.

"What's wrong Dotty?" I asked.

From the review mirror, I saw him look up at me. He stopped growling. Then he jumped from the backseat and onto Giles's lap.

"Hey! Bad dog!" I said trying to reach out for the dog.

The dog jumped around on Giles lap avoiding my hand until Giles slowly began to wake up from his slumber.

"Let Giles sleep!" I demanded in a whisper.

It was too late, Giles was already awake petting the dog in his lap. The dog just barked at him. "I'm sorry Giles. The dog is kind of excited to see Ms. Calendar again."

"It's fine." he yawned.

The dog jumped down to Giles's feet and began nibbling at his shoes. He started growling again. "Hey!" I yelled at the dog. He didn't stop. Giles didn't say anything. I think he didn't want to be mean to anything that was Ms. Calendar's.

"Xander..." he looked around nervously, "Xander! Where are you taking me?"

"I told you... to see Ms. Calendar."

"Xander, Ms. Calendar is back in Sunnydale!" he shouted. I saw the dog freeze, and watched us cautiously, "Why the bloody hell are you on the freeway?"

"Ms. Calendar is in Los Angeles. She didn't want me to tell anybody... especially you. Ms. Calendar moved to Los Angeles temporarily."

"You can't move graves!" He viciously tried to pull off his seat belt, "Jenny's grave is back in Sunnydale. I've seen it! We've all seen it."

I wasn't sure I heard him right, "H-her grave?"

"Yes her grave! Remind me why I let you drive."

I was silent. Something wasn't right. The way Giles has been acting lately... the way he's been responding to her name. Something was starting to click...  _I just wasn't sure what._

"Giles... you know Ms. Calendar is alive right?" I said calmly.

"What?" Giles seat belt slid out of the buckle and back to the side of his door. He breathed heavily, "Xander... you can't keep doing this to me."

"But-"

"Jenny's death is driving me crazy! You have no idea how much I miss her... and you just can't stop bringing her up! I'm trying to move on Xander but you're the one that won't leave it alone! Ms. Calendar is dead. I miss her! But you can't keep playing games with me Xander! I need you to stop talking about her, and stop taking me on these stupid trips!" He kicked the glove compartment and the dog jumped back into his lap, "I knew this was a bad idea."

I was silent. He totally forgot. He totally did not know Ms. Calendar was alive.  _How did this happen? Or... was Ms. Calendar all my imagination?_ No. She couldn't be my imagination. I had the puppy to prove that. But it wasn't just Giles,  _Ms. Calendar didn't remember Giles finding her either. That's why she was acting strange too. I thought they had just gotten into a fight... I had no idea they were... under some kind of spell._

"Pull the car over." Giles said angrily.

I shook my head, "No Giles. There is something you need to see."

"Xander Harris, you pull this car over now or else!"

"Look Giles. I'm risking my life here," I said sarcastically thinking of Giles and Ms. Calendar's rage combined, "Give me a chance to show you something. Something that, I swear is for the better. If I'm wrong, I'll never bring up Ms. Calendar again. Ever. I'll even do your house hold chores... and stuff..."

"Ms. Calendar's dead."

"Giles I know you love her. Give me one chance to prove it to you." I swallowed wishing to God that I wasn't wrong, "Ms. Calendar isn't dead. I know you want to believe that."

"You don't understand how big of risk your asking me to take Xander." his voice was dry, "You don't understand what would happen to me if I started to believe and she wasn't-" he paused, "She's not alive."

"Fine. Don't believe me Giles." I continued to drive the old car as fast as it would go, "But let me believe it."

He was lost in thought, and didn't stop me from driving. Only five minutes left, and I would be pulling up to Ms. Calendar's hotel. Giles didn't say anything else. Neither did the puppy.

"Her dog has a very interesting collar." taking his mind off the argument and admiring the big orange jewel on the collar. "Must be a gypsy trinket."

I pulled the car into a parking lot of the hotel and parked the car. No one moved. I still didn't understand what was happening. I remember Ms. Calendar telling me about the gypsy's coming after her...  _could this be a gypsy spell to separate Jenny from her friends?_

The dog hopped into my lap, and I pet him once. Twice. He wagged his tail impatiently. I finally decided to get out of the car before the dog started another barking fest. I got out of the car holding the dog in my arms and putting my backpack on my back. Giles hadn't moved. He wasn't sad but he looked frustrated. I didn't want to bug him more than I already had.

"Are you coming?" I said watching him from the open drivers door.

At first he didn't say anything. He didn't even look like he was breathing. I wondered if he was mad at me, and he was planning not to talk to me.

"Fine." I huffed. I closed the front door leaving Giles alone in the car.

I walked into the gigantic hotel, and was amazed at how beautiful it was compared to the dumpy hotel across the street. I went straight to the elevators and pulled out a paper from my pocket. Ms. Calendar lived on the third floor in room B. I pushed level 3 on the elevator controls, and the doors began to close.

"Wait!" I heard someone shouting. I held the doors open and I was surprised when I saw Giles running through the hotel lobby. The dog barked.

"So you changed your mind?" I asked as he was huffing out of breath in the elevator. The doors closed.

"I'm going crazy anyway. I see no point in trying to deny it now." he held his stomach standing up straight, and trying to catch his breath, "All I have left is hope."

Tears were locked in his eyes not falling down his cheeks, "You okay?"

"Xander... I haven't been okay since she died."

The elevator stopped at the third floor. I rested my hand on the back of his neck, and we slowly walked out onto the third floor, "Yea. I know." I admitted.

*Jenny*

I avoided the closet. I was so furious with myself. I didn't even know what to do with my robot, but I couldn't throw it away. I knew it wasn't Rupert, but throwing Robo-Rupert away had the same feeling of betrayal. I couldn't do it. However, I couldn't go in my closet either.

I had no other way to watch Buffy than for me to hide in the shadows. I guess that's how it's meant to be. Before Xander arrived, I wanted to take a bath. Xander didn't tell me what time he was coming, but I figured he would come later at night.

I walked into the small bathroom and started fill the tub with running water. I shut the blinds in the room, undressed and threw my dirty clothes into the bag I was using as a hamper. Back in the bathroom, I waited for the old fashioned english tub to fill with water. The tub filled by the time the door bell rang. I froze.  _Could that be Xander already?_

Quickly I turned off the water and put on a white robe the hotel supplied each room with. As I tied the knot in my robe, I opened the front door. The door was opened just an inch until I saw who it was.

*Ralph*

I slept in today. Last night's patrol ran a little long, but I hadn't minded. According to Rupert's schedule, the kids weren't patrolling tonight. So I enjoyed the extra rest. I was only forced to get out of bed when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I said yawning as I answered the phone.

"So... you've been sleeping. Is that why obtaining Janna has taken so long?"

My blood boiled. I became alert and my breathing stopped.  _It was the Kalderash._

"Hi Ileana," I gulped, "Actually... Damian and I have been doing all we can. Janna hangs out with the slayer making the task a bit more difficult..."

"Oh Roffie..." she laughed, "You don't need to worry. Have you heard what Janna did? Angel suffers more now than ever. He resides in hell for eternity. She's redeemed herself. We want her no longer."

"Why wasn't I informed?" I asked.

"I'm informing you now aren't I?"

I let out a relieved breath of air, "Have you told Damian?"

"Actually no. He hasn't been answering his phone. Do you know where he is?"

"Not a clue..." I said honestly.

"Well that's nothing to worry about. We will find him."

"We?" I said nervously, "You're here? In America?"

"It's not as beautiful as Romania."

"Ileana! Are you healthy enough for a trip like that?" I asked worried about the old lady.

"I'm still alive aren't I? Listen, I've come to bring you boys home. I'll be in Los Angeles tomorrow okay? I'll find your brother Damian and tell him to meet us too. Just be there tomorrow."

"Los Angeles? Where in Los Angeles did you want to meet?" I paused, "And why?"

*No Point of View*

"Xander!" Ms. Calendar said excited. As soon as she saw him, she opened the door a crack more.

She didn't realize how excited she would be to see him. Jenny has been gone from Sunnydale for a while and didn't realize she'd miss the hellmouth. Looking at Xander's nervous features, she realized she did. She missed everything.

"Hey there puppy." Jenny said taking the dog from his arms. The dog licked her face all over until she finally put him down on the floor. He ran around her feet and then jumped onto the bed wagging his tail. Ms. Calendar laughed, "I didn't think he'd miss me so much."

"Hey Ms. Calendar." Xander smiled awkwardly.

He gave Ms. Calendar a small hug. He was also excited to see her, but nervous about how she'd treat him after this. Rupert was hiding in the hallway leaning against the wall beside her door. She couldn't see him, but Rupert could hear everything. Xander was frustrated that Giles had decided to glue himself to the wall. All Xander could do was stand their awkwardly until Giles came out of hiding. But Giles couldn't move.

"I'm sorry Xander, I would have been dressed and ready when you got here but I thought you weren't coming until later." she laughed lightly, "I didn't even think you are up this early in the morning. Especially during summer break."

Xander stood awkwardly in the doorway with out saying anything. Giles rushed with excitement. He wanted to see her, but he was scared that when he turned around to look at her, he'd discover that this entire encounter was only a flash... and she would soon disappear. He'd rather listen to her voice than loose her completely. Xander kicked him, but Giles didn't move yet.

"Well... come in." Jenny said, forcing Xander to walk inside.

Jenny watched him carefully as she closed the door. He was acting rather strange and Jenny wasn't sure why.

"Xander what's the matter...?"

 _Thunk!_ The door shook before Jenny could close it fully. She looked back at the doorway and saw a shoe on the floor preventing the door from closing. It was a shoe similar to the pair she bought the robot. Jenny jumped when a hand gripped her door, and all she could see where the long white fingers.

Jenny backed up and the door slowly opened. At first she was scared, then she went numb.

"I'm sorry Ms. Calendar..." Xander attempted to explain, "but ... I, uh.. I brought..."

On the end of that foot, and on the end of that hand was a wet faced Rupert Giles. He looked at Jenny with stricken horror and disbelief in his features. Tears rolling down his eyes. She gasped. The door way was being invaded by the same angel locked in her closet;  _only this angel was real._

Jenny stood in disbelief. Xander had broken the only rule she had given him. Rupert knew. That was the biggest mistake Xander could have made. With Jenny back in Rupert's life, she knew that could only cause more trouble.

She turned around, "ALEXANDER HARRIS! I SPECIALLY TOLD YOU-" Rupert scared that she would disappear quickly wrapped his hands wrapped around her waist and breathed in the scent of her hair. Jenny continued with a shaky voice, "not to tell... him..."

"Jenny?" An unrecognizable voice cried. It was Rupert. Jenny had never heard Rupert so sad before and almost couldn't recognize it. Or maybe she was just away from him for to long.

She didn't know what to do. She wasn't expecting her birthday wish to come true. _It was such a selfish wish,_ She didn't know how to react and wasn't sure how to feel.

"I'm sorry Ms. Calendar..." Xander explained, "But it's not that simple. You guys are under a spell."

Sparks between Rupert and Jenny were suddenly ignited. She held his arms holding her by the waist and Rupert moved his nose over to her cheek. His grip around Jenny was tight, like if he was protecting her from disappearing. Jenny wanted to pull out for Rupert's own good but had a greater wish that found herself wanting to be pushed harder against him. Xander's words only briefly were making it through the sparks.

"A-a spell?" Jenny repeated.

"Yea. It wasn't like this before." Xander continued unaware of the sparks between them. He sat on the bed beside Dot, "Giles knew you were alive again. Giles was the one hiding you from everyone. You were both together. Now your not. Something definitely isn't right."

"How are you alive?" Rupert cried, "I found you're body cold. Angelus murdered you. We all went to your funeral Jenny... I saw you dead."

Rupert cringed at the memory. It was the most horrible event he'd ever lived through. It was the most horrific thing he'd ever seen. It's been haunting him ever since.

Jenny felt the pain in his words and couldn't stop herself from crying with him. She sobbed while trying her best to explain, "T-the Kalderash gypsies, my clan, they did a spell to find me and accidentally brought me back to life. They didn't know I had died."

Rupert's hands left Jenny's side and Jenny halted her breathing. Rupert walked around her and hovered over Xander. He reached for Jenny's hand and held it tightly in his. Her skin was warm. Everywhere he walked, he did not stop touching her. When Jenny's fingers were entwined with his, she finally inhaled again.

"Xander, you didn't tell me any of that in the car."

"I-I didn't know how to tell you." he shrugged, "I'm not sure how to explain it. I don't even understand what's going on. One minute you and Ms. Calendar are happy and hiding in your office, but now... I thought you guys were just in a really big argument. Now I understand you guys don't even remember finding each other alive."

"You mean... Jenny and I knew this before? I knew Jenny was alive again?" Rupert asked confused, "I-I don't remember anything. Do you?" he looked at Jenny but she couldn't respond.

"That's where I think the spell comes in." Xander obliged.

"This is ridiculous!" Jenny finally said pulling her hand from Rupert, "When I came back I didn't want anyone knowing I was alive. Why would I have told Rupert? I didn't want anyone to know!"

"Then how did I find out?" Xander asked.

Jenny opened her mouth for a come back and froze. She thought about it. Blank. Her mind was blank. She couldn't remember why in the world she had told Xander she was alive. Jenny couldn't remember how he found out.

"I don't know..." she finally admitted.

"Who would cast a spell on us?" Rupert interjected, "That's the part that makes no sense."

"I think it's the Gypsies. Ms. Calendar told me that they were after her. They are hunting her down because Angel lost his soul. They wanted revenge because she did not full fill her duties." Xander laughed, "hehe... I said duties." He looked at us and stopped laughing. "Anyway..."

Something in Rupert's mind clicked, "A gypsy... like Ralph?"

"You think Dr. Ralph is behind this?" Xander asked.

 _How did they know Ralph?_  Jenny thought.

"I thought it was weird that he knew so much about me. He also said he knew Jenny." Rupert took a step toward Jenny and she moved away from him. This was suddenly feeling more like a dream to Jenny and she knew she couldn't handle the pain if she ever awoke. Rupert looked at Jenny hurt before he continued, "Ralph said he was a gypsy..."

"I remember you and Ralph were on bad terms." Xander said excited with the new information, "So we hunt him down? Find a reversal spell or something?"

Rupert peeled his hurt eyes away from Jenny and looked back at Xander, "I don't understand. He casted the spell to separate Jenny and I, but why hasn't Ralph made his move yet?"

"Ms. C disappeared to Los Angeles right away. I bet he couldn't find her. I was the only one who knew where she was." he stood up next to Rupert, "I bet Ralph also didn't know I found out Ms. Calendar was alive again."

"And..." Rupert continued excited, "That's why he's been so desperate to help me! To make sure I stay away from Jenny!"

"Or to find her..." Xander suggested.

"Or both." Giles slid his glasses back into position on his nose.

The dog barked and Jenny jumped. She suddenly felt so out of touch of reality. She was confused. Scared. Both Rupert and Xander were watching her cautiously.

Her lips trembled and she spoke slowly, "Y-y-you guys need to leave. I was in the middle of a bath."

"Jenny!" Rupert chased after her in to the restroom, but she shut the door before he could come in.

Jenny was terrified.  _People were cursing her? And Rupert was back in her life trying to solve all her problems? Why couldn't he understand it was bad for him? Why didn't he know it was best to stay away?_

What Jenny didn't understand was how much more dangerous it was for Rupert without her in his life. He was border-lining crazy, and she was the only person that could save him from that. But now Jenny was out of his sight. She disappeared behind the door, and all Rupert wanted to do was break it down.

"I'm sorry Giles." Xander said, "I knew you wouldn't believe me unless I showed you."

"Take the dog." Rupert said angrily. He kept his eyes glued to the door that Ms. Calendar slammed in his face, "I need you to leave Xander. Jenny and I need to talk."

"Yea. No problem." he put the squirming dog in his arms, "I wanted to sign into my hotel room anyway. I'm staying for the weekend."

"Good. Go."

Xander didn't say another word, but the dog started barking like crazy. When Rupert heard the front door screech open, he looked back at Xander.

"Wait... Xander!" Giles called at him. When Xander made eye contact with Rupert, his voice went soft, "...thank you."

Xander smiled, "Go get her tiger."

Giles nodded and the front door closed. Jenny must have heard the door close because she came out of the bathroom still crying. When she saw Rupert, she froze. She tried to hide again but he stopped her, holding her by the waist. Rupert couldn't stop touching her. He couldn't believe her body was warm. He could believe her body was moving, shouting, and now crying.

"I don't understand anything..." she said shaking her head crying, "I just want everything to make sense again. I just want to go back to the beginning. Things were so much easier then. Before I screwed up..."

"Details." Rupert said moving his hand through her hair, "Those are just details. Don't worry about it. Xander and I will handle putting our memories back in order while you relax. Don't think. Focus on the big picture Jenny. You're alive..."

"And I'm with you..." she breathed rubbing the tie on Rupert's chest. Her beautiful brown eyes looked up into Rupert and they both melted in tears.

Jenny broke the silence "How?"

###FLASHBACK###

_Was this really happening?_

"How?" She asked under her Sobs and I realized she didn't have the answers, but I did not need them now, I just needed her.

### From Prologue ###

Both Jenny and Rupert awoke from the small but emotional flashback. The moment they were reliving felt familiar to them. Rupert smiled wickedly. He discovered that the flashes were a flaw in the spell. Everything he had been seeing for the last couple of weeks had really happened between them, and they just never remembered because of a spell. Some stupid spell.

He was about to tell Jenny, but didn't want to burden her with more information she's already become scared of. He took a deep breath and held her face in his hand.

"Did you see that?" Jenny whispered.

Rupert nodded, "This has happened before."

"Oh." Her brows moved into a confused position, "I still don't understand."

"We will." Rupert assured her.

He cupped her face, and pulled her in for a kiss. Jenny wanted to pull away and yell at him that he was making a mistake, but she couldn't. She had become mold in his hands. Rupert was now the sculptor, and Jenny would mold to his every wish. She was powerless to his touch. But for the first time, she was happy. Not even Jenny could deny that.

Rupert began to untie the rope of her robe, and she stopped him, "wait."

He quickly pulled his hands up in the air away from her robe, and the rope fell back into it's loose knot. He was trying not to let their sparks get to him but they were overwhelming.

He looked at the angel in his arms and smiled, "As you wish."

Jenny couldn't stop herself from smiling with him. She froze because she was scared. She was scared because she was in love. Rupert kissed her warm forehead and then breathed lightly on her cheek.

"Happy Birthday Jenny."


	34. Molded For You

"Where did Xander say he was going?" Jenny asked as she and Rupert stood close to each other. Neither one wanted to let the other go.

"He went to check himself into the lobby." Rupert's fingers played with her hair, "He said he's staying for the weekend."

"Oh..." Jenny looked around nervously, "A-are you?"

"I hadn't thought about it. I had just found out your alive Jenny... I can't even-" Rupert paused. More tears choked him in his throat. He swallowed them, "How do you expect me to leave you?"

Jenny smiled.

"Of course I'll stay." he continued, "I'll get myself a room tonight. Right now I just want to be with you... if that's okay."

"That's kind of perfect." She took his hand and walked over to open the blinds. She looked out the window and let the sun's light warm her skin. Rupert watched her sun bathing, "So do you think what Xander was talking about was true? About someone putting a spell on us?"

"Makes sense. I'm just surprised that Xander was the one that discovered it."

Jenny jokingly punched his shoulder, "Hey leave the kid alone. He's actually not that bad. Xander may not be smart when it comes to the book learning, but he is the smartest one when it comes to people. He studies people. He helps them."

Rupert looked down at Ms. Calendar.  _I guess Xander isn't just a pain in my ass._ How could Rupert deny that it wasn't helpful of him to find Jenny?

"I hear Buffy is missing..." Jenny gulped lightly, "how's it going?"

Rupert closed his eyes. With all the excitement, he had forgotten about his lost slayer. His heart started to ache, "I haven't a clue where to look for her Jenny. I don't want to tell the kids, but I think they already know. Her mom's a mess and we are all holding up the best we can with out her. I just wish we had a way of knowing that she was safe."

"Maybe she just needs to be away from Sunnydale for a while," Jenny added, "After her fight with Angel, maybe she just needs to be away."

"And I can respect that." Rupert said walking over to Jenny's bed to sit down, "but she can't leave us looking for her. We want to know if she is safe. She left right after a huge fight. Nobody saw her afterwards. We don't know when she is coming back."

"Maybe she doesn't either."

Jenny followed Rupert to the bed and stood in front of him still holding his hand.

"Buffy doesn't want to be bothered right now. She needs time. She'll come back, I promise. But what she had to do was beyond difficult."

"I've already deduced that her killing Angelus is what caused her to run away. She loved him."

Jenny lightly squeezed his hand hoping that he wouldn't be mad. She was hoping she was about to do the right thing for everybody, "Buffy didn't kill Angelus..."

Rupert's head snapped up to look at Jenny, "You mean he's alive? They are together?"

Jenny shook her head, "Buffy didn't kill Angelus. She had to kill Angel." Rupert looked at her shocked as she continued, "My curse that Willow preformed worked at the last minute. Buffy kissed him, killed him, cried, and then left."

"Jenny, how do you know this?" he asked.

Jenny let go of his hand and walked over to the window again, "I don't want to hide anything from you ever again Rupert. I already made that mistake once."

Rupert and Jenny were like magnets. He rose from the bed and followed Jenny to the window. She pointed across the street at the cheap hotel across the way and Rupert couldn't tell what she was pointing at.

"She's been living in the room directly across from mine. I've been watching after her." Jenny looked at Rupert nervously but he didn't move. "She needs to be away after what happened. That's why I didn't tell Xander. He would want to bring her back and Buffy can't do that right now. I don't know what you would want to do... but I had to tell you."

He looked at Jenny wide-eyed then looked back out the window. "Where did you say she was?"

Jenny leveled her head next to Rupert's as they both looked out the window. She held his hand pulling it up to point. "She lives in that one. Wait wait! Watch, she's about to walk by her window."

They waited and Jenny could feel Rupert tense as he watched Buffy walk across her room. Jenny turned her head to watch him as he watched her. She was worried he would be furious at me for hiding her.

"It's her." Rupert breathed. When Buffy walked out of sight from her window, he faced Jenny. Their face was only about an inch apart. With watered eyes, Rupert tried his best to speak clearly, "C-can I talk to her? Can I see her?"

Jenny didn't say anything because it was what he didn't want to hear. She looked at the floor shaking her head, "Rupert, if she saw you, she'd run. I can't guarantee I'd always be able to chase her down."

Rupert looked back at the window wishing Buffy would walk by again. He didn't know what to do. He looked at Jenny again for guidance.

"W-what do we do?"

Jenny looked at him confused.  _Was he asking her about what to do? Was he giving her lead?_

"We have to wait until she's ready to return." Jenny said truthfully, "I'll watch her, and you can't tell anyone where she is. When you go back home you got to pretend to keep looking for her..."

"I don't know if I can-" he paused, "Her mother? She has to know. You don't know how troubled she's been."

Jenny shook her head wanting to cry, "No you can't. There is no guarantee that she'll let Buffy stay. Buffy needs time. I know her mom must be suffering but she has to ride it out. At least until the end of the summer. I doubt she'll stay longer. Buffy misses you guys too. She won't be away long."

Rupert walked away from the window, "We can't just leave Buffy alone..."

"If we try to get her back... she'll just run. And she will keep running," Jenny wrapped her arms around Rupert, "We have to let Buffy get it out of her system now. We have to let Buffy make the first move. I'm telling you, she is going to come back."

He stared out the window and looked at Buffy's window. Rupert didn't say anything and Jenny was worried. Slowly, he wrapped his arms back around Jenny also. He shut the blinds again and then looked at Jenny.

"Are you okay?" She asked, "What are you going to do?"

Jenny couldn't read the expression on his face. The tears made him seem sad but she wasn't sure, "I got both of my girls back in one day. I'm just so happy. You keep asking me what I'm going to do... but I don't even know what happened two seconds ago. You're both alive. You're both safe. Will you let me wrap my head around that first before I think about what I want to do?"

Jenny softly laughed and nodded, "Sure."

Rupert looked Jenny from head to toe, "Am I keeping you from a bath?"

"Yea." Jenny admitted looking down at her attire, "But I can take one later... let me just go let the water drain in the tub."

"No. Go ahead." Rupert said, "I'm not going to be good company right now anyway. I have so much to think about."

"Well," Jenny bit her bottom lip, "don't leave. I'm scared to be without you."

"Demons in the tub?" He said sarcastically.

"That's not what I mean Rupert."

He looked at her carefully and held her face again with one hand, "I know. I know exactly what you mean."

She took a deep breath, "Will you just come with me? Think out loud while I take a bath? I could use the company. Your company."

"Anything for the princess on her birthday." he smiled.

He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

"I'm not a princess." She said without smiling.

"No you're better." Rupert smiled, "Your an angel."

Jenny rolled her eyes jokingly and he followed her into the bathroom.

"Leave the bathroom door open." Jenny instructed, "If Xander knocks, you'll hear it."

Rupert left the door open but stopped Jenny from walking any further into the bathroom. "Jenny you need to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Buffy. After this weekend, you need to call me every day and tell me how she is. You need to take good care of her for me. For her mother. For her friends."

"I will." She smiled.

*Rupert*

"Thanks." I turned around and let her undress from her robe.

My body got the chills as I heard her stepping into the bath tub behind me. She was making me feel some crazy kind of love.

"You're safe." she said and I turned around to face her in the tub. She had put bubbles in the tub and they surrounded her. I had to breath carefully. Things in my mind were unbalanced as I sat beside her. The bubbles exposed her neck down to the tops of her breasts. Nothing farther. When I sat on the closed toilet seat beside her, her flowing voice awoke me from staring to long at her gleaming neck line.

"Go ahead. Think out loud all you want."

"Uh-" I said nervous, "One second."

I quickly needed to get my mind away from sex and the tingling feeling that threatened me from down low.  _Not sex. Not sex. Jenny in bath tub. Naked. Not Sex. Not Sex. Jenny. Beautiful. Jenny. Cute. Puppies. Yes..._

"Puppies," I said out loud. Jenny looked at me weird.  _God I sure hope I didn't say all that out loud._ I continued, "So you uh, have a dog?"

"Oh. The one Xander brought?" Her arm came out of the bath tub and she reached across for a bar of soap, "I found it. Saved it. It was a stray. Xander took care of him for a while until his visit. I feel bad. He is visiting now but I still have him watching the pup."

"Don't worry about it. Xander loves that dog." Rupert said running fingers through Jenny's hair, "Speaking of visiting though... you know this doesn't have to be the only time I visit?"

"Really?" Jenny said excitedly. She pulled one leg out from the water as she cleaned it with the bar of soap. I tried to keep my eyes on her face, "That would be...-"

Jenny stopped. I watched as her eyes fell from me to the water in her tub. Her face turned sad and her leg slipped back into the water. I would have gone in after it if Jenny wasn't suddenly sad.

"Jenny what's wrong?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why?"

For a long time she was silent, then her face snapped up to look at me in anger, "How could you kiss me? Don't you understand what I did? I'm a horrible person! Rupert... you can do so much better than me."

"Jenny what are you talking about?"

"What I did to Buffy! Not only did I betray you all when I was alive, but the curse I found to save Angel's soul... Buffy had to kill him with a soul! Angel is in hell with his soul! I'm the reason Buffy is in Los Angeles. I made her kill her own love! How could you kiss someone that's done that?"

"Is that why you don't want her to know you're alive? Why you don't want any one to know?" I got onto the tile floor and sat on my knees beside Jenny, "Jenny, even I know that wasn't your fault."

"If you were in Buffy's shoe's Rupert, you wouldn't be saying the same thing."

"Jenny... you forget I killed a man." She looked at me softly under her lashes, "And after you found that out, you still told me that you love me. What I did was way worse than what ever you think you did. And I still love you. You can't change that. Nothing you ever do can change that. Not even your death."

She looked at me. Her eyes were glittering, and she almost laughed, "You love me?"

"I thought that was obvious." I shrugged, "Yes Jenny. I love you."

"You're making a mistake." She cried, "I'm a mistake."

I laughed at her, "No you're not Jenny. It's a mistake if I let you go. Trust me, I know from experience."

"I'm a mistake." she repeated as if I hadn't already heard her.

"Fine. If you insist," I said putting my hand on her cheek, "But you're still mine." I kissed her head lightly, "You know, you're the one taking a chance by kissing me. I mean, I hunt demons. I kill them. Your life is on the line. Maybe you deserve someone better than me."

"Rupert don't be ridiculous."

"Maybe I should just go." I said jokingly, "I love you. I don't want you to make a mistake either."

"Rupert!"

I started to stand up from my knees but before I could go any where, Jenny reached up and pulled on my tie. She used my tie to pull my face towards hers and she kissed me desperately. My tie was soaking in her bath tub. Then as she continued to kiss me, I kicked off my shoes. My lips let go of her temporarily and I saw how much she wanted me. My heart thumped fifty times in one second.

"I think I want to make a mistake." She practically moaned from the tub.

I shook my head still laughing at her, "Jenny, making love to you isn't a mistake. Being with you for the rest of my life isn't a mistake either. It's a God-damned miracle."

"I'm just scared..." she admitted, "after what happened to Buffy, I feel like karma is just waiting for me to make a mistake. What if we do this and one of us wakes up without a soul, like Angel? What if I wake up and you're not there? What if something bad happens Rupert? I'm scared for what karma has in store."

"Are you a vampire?"

"No."

"Then we're not going to loose our souls and I promise with all my heart that I will be here when you wake up."

"Promise?" she asked desperately.

"Promise." I smiled.

"Okay."

She tugged on my tie again without hesitation, and I took off my jacket.

I wanted so badly to touch her wet body but my clothes had to come off first. My belt loosened, my pants fell to my ankles. Jenny took off my tie and it slid into the bath tub. As Jenny kissed me, her arms wrapped around my neck and she licked my lips. I tried to take off my button up top, but I spotted Jenny's perfect round breasts coming out of the water as she was reaching up for me. I stepped into the bathtub letting my socks, boxers, and button-up shirt soak in the water. I couldn't wait any longer. I had to touch her.

She moaned as my hands found her waist under water and traveled up her soft small body. Her fingers went up my shirt. She surprised me when her muscles tensed and buttons flew all over the place. She ripped my shirt open, and her hands were quickly traveling down my chest.

She sculpted my body with her fingers. And I hated that I had to pull off my shirt and take my hands away from her. They were so close to her breasts, but I had to pull away for my damn shirt. I tossed off my shirt violently.

When my hands were free again, I grabbed the back of her head and our lips molded into each others. They moistened as our faces fell deeper and deeper under water. I could feel the water vibrating with our moans. We both ran out of breath and came out of the water gasping for air. As we were catching our breath, I finally got my hand to push against the water and press against her breast. It fit so perfectly in my grip.

I looked at my girl carefully as her nose cringed in delight. Her eyes opened again and she looked at me. Her hand floated on top of my hand and she squeezed it forcing my hand to squeeze her breast. She lightly moaned again with her neck falling back against the tub.

When this happened, I noticed water splashing out of the tub. I looked around and water was soaking all over the tile floor. I hadn't noticed, but the bath tub had become only as half as full as it was before.

_That may have something to do with my tub invasion._

Jenny looked back at me wondering why I wasn't still touching her.

"We should move this to the bed. It's getting a little wet out here..."

"I'd say."

I looked at Ms. Calendar wild eyed.

She smiled at me wickedly, "Oh. I take you meant the floor."

"God how I miss you." I said going back into the tub wrapping my arms tightly around her. I kissed down her neck. Her bare legs wrapped around my waist, and I pulled her out of the water. I heard the sound of a waterfall as water fell off our bodies and back into the half empty tub. Once Jenny was completely out of the water and pressed hard against my bare chest, I noticed she was light. Tiny. I didn't want to break her. I had to be careful when all I wanted to do was touch her. Make love to her. Love her.

"Jenny when was the last time you ate?" I asked while taking notice of how light she was.

"I don't remember," she hummed, "But once you get me on that bed I can taste that popsicle you got there."

Her hand reached down pulled my boxers off from around my pounding rock. They fell into the water around my ankles and Jenny's small hand took hold of my crotch. She stroked it with her fingers, "Damn. My robot totally needs one of these."

I didn't understand what she meant and I think it had to do with the pounding sex drive that had my body humming. She was so beautiful and pressed against me. I walked out of my boxers, and stepped out of the tub. I carried her all the way to the bed in my wet socks. Once beside the bed, I threw her onto the sheets and quickly bent down to take off my socks.

When I stood back up, I examined her completely for the first time. She did the same with me. She wasn't covered in bubbles, but she was dripping sex. I walked up to her bed and messaged her foot without taking my eyes off her.

Her face glowed like an angels, and her body was so small and tender. When I touched her skin, it was soft. She was perfect. Her face curved perfectly and her lips were entirely bitable. Her deep brown eyes always curled me up into a dream reminding me how lucky I was just to know her. I wanted to hold her. But I also just wanted to admire her every perfect fold.

"Jennifer your beautiful." I croaked.

"So are you." She said looking me in the eyes.

I climbed up over her onto the bed and hovered over her for a moment, "When we're done here, we're going actually eat something. Celebrate your birthday. Eat some ice cream or something..."

"How about in the morning?" She asked, "Tonight I just want you."

"What about Xander?" I asked, "Do you think he'll come back?"

"Maybe." She shrugged, "But he'll be okay for the night. Right now..." She pushed me over and moved, sliding her body on top of mine, "Let me love you."

She kissed me softly and pushed my arms over my head. Her face left my lips, and she was tying something around my wrists. I looked up, and she was using my soggy tie to tie me to the head board of the bed.

I tugged at it a little worried, "Jenny what are you doing?"

"You don't understand that I don't deserve you. You don't understand that I'm not good enough for you," she whispered, "You lay back and let me pleasure you. Let me thank you. Let me make you pop."

I let out a moan instead of what I was going to say. Jenny moved down the bed to my legs and I tried to recover from her words so I could talk correctly, "J-J-J-Jenny that's n-n-not fair. Y-Y-You're perfect love. I-I-I-I want to touch you too."

She ignored me completely and her tongue began to dance around my naval. I was so hard that Jenny must be able to feel the muscles in my legs tensing. I tugged more at the tie, not caring if it ripped, but Jenny tied it too tight. I looked down at her and watched her trace her nose lightly from my naval to the tip of my pop-pop-popsicle.

"Arghh!" I moaned unable to control my volume. My body surged with tingles and popping soda bubbles. Shivers traveled through my body leaving bumps every where they went. I felt like I was floating. Gravity disappeared and Jenny was holding me to the bed reminding me where I was.

_An orgasm already? Dear God she's..._

"Amazing..." Jenny said just as stunned, "Rupert I've hardly..."

She stopped when I finally broke out of the tie. I grabbed her hands and dragged her small body back on top of mine. We were face to face again.

"Let's do this together." I pleaded finally loving Jenny's body pressed against mine again and in my hands, "You're perfect. Don't you dare tell yourself differently."

"I love you."

"I've always loved you." I kissed her, "Now let me touch you. You have no idea how badly I want you."

"Actually... I think I kind of do."

"Oh... right..." I looked down at my needy thumping rock, "well, let me test how badly you want me."

All day and all night we were mold. She was mold in my hands, and I was mold in her touch. Together we sculpted a picture. Hours of work and sweat and so much pleasure that Disneyland proved to be only the third happiest place in the world. First was with Jenny, and second was inside of her.

Orgasms were launched by simple touches, as well as the sweaty ones. It didn't take much for either of us. We wanted each other bad. We wanted each other for hours, which only felt like minutes. She was meant for me and I was built for her. It was that simple. It was that complex. I've never had so much fun. Never been so in love. And no demon would ever leave me so soar in the morning.

Jenny was more than a person. She made the bad world disappear when she held me. Everything I ever was, didn't matter. I wasn't Ripper the rebel, I wasn't Giles the librarian, and I wasn't the watcher destined to save the world again and again. I was just a man. I was just her man. Her happiness. She was mine. I loved my little Calendar girl, and she loved me. When I was with Jenny, it gave Rupert Giles a whole new meaning.

 _How had we met?_ I couldn't remember.  _How did we fall in love?_ Their were too many answers.  _Why has the lord blessed me so? She's a God damn blessing. She's like a rose. Fragile. Beautiful. Exciting. Passionate. Can she grow with me forever?_ I prayed.

I thought a lot about the rose Angelus left on my door when I found Jenny's dead body. Roses had ever since, given me a feeling of dread. Death. Endings. But no, I was wrong to think such things.  _It was only the beginning._  Jenny and I were only in the beginning of our relationship. Jenny was only the beginning of my life. I was nothing until I met her.  _Cheesy maybe. But no less true._ I hadn't been so passionate about anything in my life. I was passionate about her; and not just when pounding her under the sheets.

I thought my destiny was to save the world. But now I think my destiny is to protect her. When I woke up this morning I would have never guessed this is where my day would have ended. I would have guessed I'd be sleeping against her grave stone crying with rain.  _Well... I guess my day did end a little something like that. I was laying next to Jenny and crying next to the most beautiful thing in the whole world._

Jenny slept soundly still dripping with sweat, and our blankets were thrown in random places all over the floor. I stroked her cheek as she was curled in a ball beside me. Our legs were intertwined. She slept with a smile on her face. I know I fell asleep with a smile on mine.

_Jenny, I was molded for you._

* * *

 


	35. Karma Kills

*Damian/Dot*

_I'm done waiting for that bitch._

I took a sweater from Xander's luggage that seemed to fit. It felt so good to walk again on two legs. I stretched my muscles completely filling every fiber with morning juices. Bones popped, and skin relaxed. I picked up Xander's suitcase and tossed it the closet. Inside the closet was Alexander Harris with his arms tied behind his back and a purple discoloration beside his right eye where I knocked him out. His suitcase fell in his lap.

I locked the closet door and quickly casted a magical sound barrier around the entire room so no one could hear any noise coming from inside. _It shall come in handy when the boy wakes up, and I can't promise I will be quiet once I bring Ms. Bitch and her Watcher up here for a spat._ I loosened the collar around my neck, rubbing the gem with my thumb. Vengeance felt good. It felt powerful. Soon it will be mine.

"Janna... Janna..." I hummed, "It's about time we finally meet. I'll be back soon pet." I said referring to Xander before I vanished from the room.

*Rupert*

The next morning I awoke finding myself bare, under the covers with Jenny still sound asleep right beside me. I couldn't believe I wasn't dreaming. I still couldn't believe what happened. Her back was toward me but just to see her was some kind of wonderful that I couldn't begin to describe. Last night wasn't my birthday, but it sure felt like I got all the presents.

Blankets had abandoned the bed, and it was just me, Jenny and a couple of pillows. Her body was bare, and even from her back she was gorgeous. I wanted to touch her again, but I was afraid she wasn't really there. That everything was in my mind and she had really drove me insane. What if I reached out to her, and my hand went right through her mirage.

Her breathing became uneven as I watched her slowly start to awaken. I was surprised when her hand moved out in front of her so suddenly, like in a moment of panic. I was about to ask what was wrong until she called my name.

"Rupert!" Her voice was shaky and ridden in panic.

She turned herself over in bed and when she saw me, her whole body relaxed. I felt weak when I saw her face. She had a light purple bruise beside her right eye. Every muscle was sour as I reached out to touch her face. "Are you okay? Did I do that to you last night?" I was a little nervous rubbing my thumb lightly over the bruise.

She lightly rubbed her fingers over it herself looking confused. She flinched when she pressed against it to hard, "Oh. I, uh... I don't know how I got this bruise. It's okay. It doesn't hurt."

"Then what's the matter love?"

"I just-" she shook her head. She moved closer to me and made herself a nest by my side. For a while she just laid next to me and breathed over my chest. Her body was warm, like mine. I filled with goose-bumps feeling her legs entwining with mine again, and her breasts pressed against my naked side. My arm traveled around her face and down to her waist. I watched every movement she made as she hugged my bare body, and I caressed her naked sides. Her skin was so soft, and her muscles were so tender. She took a deep breath and finally continued, "I'm glad your here."

"I told you I'd never leave you." I replied kissing her forehead. Since her face was resting on my side, I could feel her smile grow.

"Wow." she huffed, "That was amazing."

"That you were."

"No, the both of us. We were like, magical. Everything flowed. Is this what slaying feels like?"

"S-slaying?" I asked confused.

"Because of the power." she explained, "You stake, I explode. It flows. It's powerful."

"I can't believe your relating our sex to slaying." I shook my head, "Now I'll never be able to stake another vampire with out masturbating in the process."

"I'm not kidding!" She said excitedly. She moved from my side and crawled on top of me. I bit my lip hiding a moan as I felt her touching me all over again. Her opening was coasting my waist line and I could feel my heart beat pounding in my shaft as it sprang to attention. My arms felt like jello. Her nose was pressed against the side of mine as she whispered seductively, "You didn't feel it? The power rushing through us. The harder and faster your pace... the more explosions."

"Y-y-you f-forget I-I-I explod-d-ded too..."

She smiled wickedly, "You weren't always the one with the stake."

 _Good God I'll never be able to stake another vampire after this._   _This woman really knew how to make me squirm. Sometimes it was unbearable. It used to annoy me how she could get under my skin so easily, and now thats all I wanted her to do. She still had the energy for some full frontal snogging, but I was wiped. She noticed, but thankfully wasn't disappointed. She rolled off of me and nested again at my side._

"I love you." I said messing with her hair.

"I love you too." her fingers ran circles on my chest, "Do we have to get up today?"

"Yes." I reminded her, "As much as I would love having you all to myself, I was not the only one who came to visit you this weekend."

She looked at me wide eyed practically laughing, "Oh, I totally forgot Xander was here." She giggled unable to get her next sentence out, "I hope he didn't come by last night. I mean, the noise itself would have scared him away before even knocking on the door."

I laughed with her, "Knowing Xander he probably stuck around just to hear it."

"Eww... Rupert!"

"Eww me? You are the one who flirted with him once!"

"Yea... under a spell."

I laughed, "So shall I treat the three of us to breakfast? Any where you want to go, just name it."

"But that involves moving." she said lazily.

"It does. But it also involves food, which you and I need plenty of since we skipped our entire meal plan yesterday."

She moaned finally sitting up beside me, I looked up at her not moving. As she admired her view, I admired mine. Finally her eyes met mine and she laughed.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's just... I thought I would wake up and regret what we did. I thought it was a mistake for the both of us to fall in love, and it would only drop another bomb in our direction... but, I don't feel that way anymore. Loving you is worth the risk. You're worth everything I've ever been living for. What we did wasn't a mistake and this is just the first time I feel karma free..."

"That is unless, of course, we have to explain our  _slaying_  noises to Xander."

Her eyes got huge, "God I don't even want to think about that."

She got up from the bed and walked toward the bathroom. Her body moved so swiftly, and so perfectly. I wanted to reel her back into bed. I wished I had never brought up Xander so she'd still be laying beside me. I sat up from the bed and smiled as I watched her walk around.

"I'm going to get ready," she finally said, "Just wait there and I can find you some dry clothes."

"You have mens clothes?" I asked confused and a little nervous that I wasn't the only man who'd been in her bed.

She moved to her closet, and opened the door in my direction so I couldn't see her anymore. I heard the sound of a plastic bag and when she quickly closed the closet door again, she threw a plastic bag on the bed beside me. I shuffled through the contents of the bag and discovered it was all new clothes. The tags weren't even off yet.  _Black shirt, jeans, and socks?_

"May I ask why you have these?"

"Uh..." she hesitated, "Well... technically... they were for you."

"Me?"

"I'll explain later..." she said quickly, "Right now we should get ready for Xander. And I'm suddenly very hungry."

She hurried into the bathroom and I found her behavior kind of strange. I shrugged it off and would rather find out how many bags of mens clothes she had in her closet. I slowly moved off the bed and pulled on the blue jeans surprised with how perfectly they fit me. They weren't entirely my style but it was better than the wet clothes I wore yesterday. I left the rest of the dry clothes in the bag, and walked over to her closet. It was bugging me that she had mens clothes in her closet and that I couldn't figure out why.

I reached out to open her closet, and was worried. I froze.  _What if these clothes weren't meant for me? What if she was expecting to give these to someone else? What if she met someone else in Los Angeles? What if she had made love to someone else while she was here?_ Too many what-ifs were penetrating past my comfort zone, and I turned the door knob quickly so the what-ifs would stop.

But then I saw nothing. Absolutely nothing. My world went black. A bag was over my head and someone knocked me to the floor.

"JENNY RUN!" I tried to shout but I was already passing out and all that I could manage was a whisper.

*Jenny*

I was glad I had bought the robot extra clothes, however, I wasn't sure how I would even begin to explain the robot to Rupert.  _Yea... I made a robot to help Buffy, but as it turns out... the robot I made ended up looking like you... by accident. I really missed you._  ...I'll work on my intro later.

I bent over and picked up Rupert's wet clothes and hung them over the sink to dry. His white button-up shirt was already dry however, and unwearable ever again. It was madly wrinkled from the way it dried and only two buttons were still attached from when I ripped it off of him. I replayed the events in my head and my body shivered with delight.

Love was magical. It made you feel powerful. I wasn't lying when I said that. Love was probably the most powerful thing in the whole world. In other words, Walt Disney was on to something with all those "Happily Ever After" stories. Love was a magic all on its own. No one ever made me feel so wonderful. I had never felt so powerful, and happy, and whole. I was mellow down to my soul.

_That wacky little soul of mine had a meaning after all._

I put on Rupert's white button up just for show, and buttoned the two loose buttons on the bottom. It was a little big and fell about mid-thigh length. I walked out of the bathroom to see Rupert laugh at the mess we made of his "properness" but when I walked out, he wasn't there.

I had a mini-heart attack when I noticed he wasn't on the bed. I looked over and saw the closet door open.

"Rupert?" I said trying not to panic. I ran to the closet and looked Robo-Rupert from head to toe. _Maybe he saw him and ran. Maybe Rupert saw the robot and left._ I slammed the door shut and turned around to run after him.  _I wasn't about to lose him again._

When I turned to run after him, someone hit me hard from the back of the head. Before I could call out or react, I passed out falling hard on the floor.

*No PoV*

Damian was able to teleport both Rupert and Jenny into Xander's room easily. Even easier than he thought it would be. Xander's room had been trashed. The bed was turned on it's side and moved out of the way. Where the bed used to be, Damian raised his hands and chains appeared in the wall. He chained Rupert to the wall, his arms over his head, and standing straight up. His feet were almost dangling. Rupert was bare chested, alive, and slowly opening his eyes again. His throat was sore and dry.

He watched as Damian had the same set up for Jenny on the opposite wall. With her arms over her head, her shirt raised but not enough to show anything. Rupert noticed Jenny was wearing his white button-up and only two of the buttons were still in place. They were the last two buttons of the shirt. Her belly button up to the inside of her breasts showed. Her nipples were still hidden beneath his oversized shirt.

His eyes felt heavy as he watched this happen. He was trying to gather what he could to figure out what was going on.

"Who are you?" He choked.

Damian turned around and looked at Rupert surprised, "Oh you're up now are you?"

His slight accent had confirmed Rupert's theory, "You're Romanian. Y-you're-"

"A gypsy?" he finished still fixing Jenny into her chains, "Not for much longer. See... I'm about to hand over your girlfriend to a vengeance demon. When I make that transaction, I myself will also be a vengeance demon." He turned around to face Rupert, "You know... you and your slayer have been quite a pain in my ass lately. Protecting the bitch I've been trying to find."

"Where is Xander?"

"Oh don't worry about him." He smiled. His smile had an evil tint that made Giles shutter, "I actually like Xander. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have captured Janna. He's safe and sound. Mostly sound." he chuckled.

Rupert looked at him closely and remembered the collar around his neck. It was the same as Dot's. The dog Xander had brought with him. This man had to have been that dog. Transfiguration. He must of been a powerful guy to preform something like that.

"You know Transfiguration." Rupert rasped closing his eyes still trying to stay awake.

"What are you? Facts of the day man? Yes. I was a dog. Yes. I know transfiguration. Oh but I know how to do a lot more than that buddy." To the sound of lighting a whip formed in Damian's hand. Rupert saw this and automatically struggled in his chains. His eyes opened without the heavy feeling they used to have. "This room has even been sound proofed, so scream all you want if this becomes unbearable. No one will hear you. Well, except me and your girlfriend."

"Leave her alone. I'll do anything if you leave her alone." Rupert struggled getting his words out without rasping for breath between his cries.

"This whip isn't meant for her." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "It was meant only for you Rupert. You should feel special. It was designed for you and everything. I was born a gypsy of the Kalderash and we praise vengeance. It's a living thing Rupert. It's in my veins! You have been such a pain in the ass that I feel compelled to send vengeance an offering. Can you guess where you fit into that scenario?"

Damian walked over to Jenny, "You know your girlfriend was born with the same thirst for vengeance. One day you'll notice it."

"She's not like the rest of you."

"Is that so?" he said laughing. He studied Jenny from head to toe, "You're just saying that because she wowed you in bed. Gypsy's are known for that too." He winked at Giles, "Did she, how do Americans say it... Rock your world?"

Rupert didn't say anything in an attempt to lure him away from Jenny. It wasn't working.

"Aw... you're speechless. Well, when I'm done with you, I'll have to try her on for size. Ralph even fell madly in love with her. I bet he'd be jealous that I get to see her like this, half naked... dangling from chains. Man, she's pretty. I bet you had fun banging some one, what... twenty years younger than you?"

"You know Ralph?" Rupert's voice was desperate. He knew continuing to talk about Jenny would only provoke Damian to violate her.

"My brother." Damian said unamused. Rupert was thankful when Damian dragged his eyes from Jenny and looked back at him, "I heard he kissed your girl."

"Liar."

Rupert and Damian looked at Jenny. Her eyes were still closed and she was only able to breathe out her words, "Ralph was only my friend. He never kissed me."

"Oh. Another thing..." Damian explained looking back at Jenny, "Your memories have been messed with so you can't really count on them. Your real memories are locked up in a wish, right here, in my necklace. When the time comes, you'll have your brains back in order. For now, you have to believe everything I say." He looked over at Rupert, "She not only kissed Ralph, but she has statue of you in her closet and was abducted by aliens. We have to defeat those aliens!"

"Pillock!" Rupert spat.

"Still don't believe me?" he shrugged, "I guess I did take it a little too far. Oh well, lets get this whip warmed up, yea?"

"You're not going to touch him." Jenny said barely able to stand. Her heavy eyes were also hard to open.

"Funny coming from the girl chained to a wall."

Jenny laughed. Damian's eyes looked over at her annoyed, "You think you have it all figured out don't you? Vengeance demon is going to turn you all big and bad when you hand me over. The vengeance demon will kill you. You're a fool. And what about the Kalderash? You know they hold a grudge when you turn against them."

"I take my chances."

"At least your brother had common sense."

"You're right. Common sense. I don't know how much time I have to torture Rupert. Better get started!"

He raised his whip and Jenny shouted, "You're weak! Can't even whip a girl!"

"Arghh!" Damian turned around and lashed out at Jenny.

The whip crossed across her cheek, and her face was thrown against the wall from the pressure.

"Jenny!" Rupert yelled and his chains rattled, "Jenny stop it!"

Jenny started laughing again. Damian was heated with fury.

"You're like a woman. Only a light tap on the cheek. Can't even scar me like a man!"

"Is that so?" He lashed his whip again. "I'm just getting warmed up baby. I always start off slow."

CRACK. Blood stained the inside of the white blouse as the whip passed diagonally across her chest.

"JENNY STOP!" Rupert howled. He knew what she was doing and cried feeling helpless and wanting nothing more than to hold her and give this man a brutal scaring. "JENNY PLEASE!"

"Shut-up Rupert." she looked at him harshly, "Damian is not worth it. He had to turn into a filthy mutt just to capture us. He's a weak coward. Can't even handle being a man…"

"NO!" Rupert saw the whip fling before Jenny finished talking, "NO NO NO!"

Her upper leg was slashed, and then across her stomach. Blood was falling from Jenny and when the last one passed her stomach she spit blood into Damian's face. Blood was even coming out of her mouth now.

Damian was about to whip her again when lightning snapped inside the building and two more people appeared in the room.

It was Ralph and Ileana.

"Hey!" Ileana yelled.

But it was to late, Damian was aiming for the kill and not even Ileana could stop him. Ralph ran to Jenny and when the whip cracked, Ralph was on the floor hunched over. He held his throat as blood bathed his fingers. He looked Jenny in the eyes and smiled.

"Hi Je-e-e" He looked back at the floor and fell into his growing puddle of blood.

"No!" Jenny shouted. "You killed Ralph! NO! Ralph! Ralph!"

"Enough!" Ileana shouted.

When she said this, chains disappeared. Jenny and Rupert fell to the floor. Jenny crawled over to Ralph, holding her bleeding stomach, and cried next to his corpse. Rupert tried to stand but he kept falling back on all fours. He lost his balance. He finally gave up trying to stand and crawled on all fours to Jenny. Jenny cried heavily and when Rupert approached her, he pulled her into his arms. She cried against him and he kissed her all over.

Damian looked at his brother. His whip fell to the floor. He couldn't take his eyes off the scene. His mouth dangled open. "W-w-what did I do?"

Ileana walked beside him and put an arm on his shoulder, "Exactly what I was going to ask you to do."

"He's my brother." He looked at her harshly, barely taking his eyes away from the scene.

"He also betrayed us." She said, "He was a liability. We gave you both orders and you followed them Damian but your brother turned his back on us almost as soon as he met Janna. I felt the back stabbing all the way from Romania."

"Ralph." Damian fell to his knees beside his brother and patted his shoulder, "Stop playing games Ralph. Games are for kids. We're not kids any more buddy, come on. Wake up!" Damian started to cry, "Roffie... I-I don't like this game. Stop it!"

Ileana rolled her eyes, "Damian he's dead. Give it a rest..."

"How can you say that?" he shouted at her, "He took care of you Ileana. He loved you like if you were his real mother."

"And he would have turned against me for Janna. It's all a matter of survival dearest. So if you would like to live... I suggest you come home with me. Our hunt is off. Janna had repaid her debt. Angel now suffers in hell with his soul and thats the best thing that could have ever happened for us." She looked at Jenny who eyed her angrily, "Good job. Turns out your not as useless as I thought you'd be."

"I wish you would kill me for what I did to Angel!" Jenny shouted, "He doesn't deserve it. Please, don't thank me for it! It was a mistake. I'd bring him back in a heart beat if I could."

Ileana looked at her confused, "Janna are you kidding? Back with our people, you are being worshiped! They cant believe you turned your life around. You gave everyone hope! You may have anyone thing you wish for my dear... and I will be glad to provide it for you! You deserve everything and anything you want for what you did for our tribe."

"I want out." Jenny bellowed. Her words were becoming soft. she was becoming weak and fast from all the blood, "I want out of this stupid klan!"

Ileana looked at her confused. "Well... if that's what you want but you're making a mistake Janna. Did you hear me? You're being worshiped among us!"

"That's what I want!" She demanded, "Didn't you hear me? I wish you would kill me for sending Angel to Hell with his soul. That is nothing to celebrate. You're fighting something you don't even understand."

"Janna... you-"

"The name is Jennifer." Rupert rasped at the old woman. He held Jenny against him tighter and forcing her to look away from everyone. She buried her face in his chest. He didn't want her waisting anymore energy than she already was.

Ileana stood angrily hating that she was being out numbered. Damian was still at his brothers side ignoring everyone. Ralph was dead, and Damian yanked off his collar.

"Well..." Ileana huffed, "Fine. I don't know why I waste my time being nice."

Damian laughed. Tears gathered in his eyes, "This is nice?" He stood before Ileana, "You killed my brother for helping the woman you now feel compelled to worship! You should have killed me! I was helping her die!"

"You were being loyal to the clan Damian." She said simply, "You didn't know we called off the hunt until now. Roffie was disloyal to me. To his people. He got exactly what he deserves... death. You killed him."

"No!" Damian shouted, "My brother died because you brought him here."

"He died because he was stupid."

Damian held Ileana by the throat with his free had and pushed the old lady against the wall. "He died because he was better than this klan! Well guess what Ileana, so am I!" Ileana vanished from his hand and appeared behind him.

"That was rude." She dusted herself off as if nothing happened.

Damian laughed. "You want to see rude? I betrayed you too bitch!"

_This is for you Roffie._

He looked at Rupert in the eyes, "Prepare for a head rush."

He shattered the necklace into a thousand pieces on the wall in front of him and a light flashed. The chain from the necklace fell clinging to the floor. A wave of energy went through Jenny and Rupert and they froze. Their eyes glazed over as the events of their lives that they had forgotten, were slowly being remembered.

Ileana didn't notice what was happening with Jenny and Rupert but noticed the chain that had fallen on the floor. It was one her people were quite familiar with. A tool used for vengeance. A tool only used by vengeance demons.

"You fool!" She shouted, "You were going to hand her over to the vengeance demons!"

Damian's handsome features turned around to gloat in her stricken features. Again he laughed as he spoke, "You killed the wrong brother Ileana."

"I can fix that." She raised her arm and a red glow began to form in the shape of a ball in her hand.

She threw her hand in front of her shouting something in Romanian, and the red glow shot out at Damian. He closed his eyes preparing for the blow with a smile on his face. But the blow never came. Something had stopped the red glow from killing him. He opened his eyes and saw a tall hooded figure standing in front of him. He knew who it was.

"I feel like I'm missing a party." D'hoffrin's voice said disappointed, "Dot, where was my invitation?"

"Sorry sir." I said walking around him and seeing Ileana picking herself off the floor with fury in her eyes, "But I just sent it." Damian handed the broken necklace to D'hoffrin and D'hoffrin gave an inhuman growl.

"Oh great! You destroyed my necklace. Maybe next time you have a party... I don't want the invite."

Ileana's eyes shot up to look at the demon. It was D'hoffrin. His clan of vengeance demons have made great friends with most of the gypsies. D'hoffrins work was not only worshipped but feared in the Kalderash tribe. She immediately bowed before him and humming a romanian chant of forgiveness.

"What are you- Oh!" D'hoffrin stood in front of Ileana and smiled, "I forgot I'm considered a God to some people. Ah... worship feels good."

"Forgive me Damian." Ileana said, "I had no idea you were helping D'hoffrins demons."

"It's okay servant." D'hoffrin said clearly enjoying his attention, "I will deal with you later. Now... what is that marvelous smell coming from?"

"Smell?" Damian repeated.

D'hoffrin looked over at Jennifer and Rupert. They were both hugging each other tightly with their eyes glazed over and entirely unaware of what was going on around them. He pulled Jenny up and out of Rupert's arms and held her before him, "I love that smell. Humans explain the most loving smell as fresh baked cookies. I say the most amazing smell is from those whom surround themselves in vengeance. And their power."

"D'hoffrin... I hate to disrupt..." Ileana paused when he looked at her. She gulped before continuing, "Janna doesn't worship vengeance. She doesn't understand and worship vengeance like the rest of her people."

"Oh. I know." He looked back at her and pressed his nose in her hair. He inhaled her scent, "She's entirely different. Like your people, she has the passion for vengeance. She just shows it differently. I need someone like her on my team. I have many different types of vengeance demons that preform the wish for different reasons. Some wishes are aimed only at men, only at women, one of my vengeance demons even has parental issues... but I've never met anyone so compelled to take vengeance out on themselves. That's a true beauty."

Jenny slowly began to blink a couple times as she was coming out of her flash of memories. She looked up at the man that was holding her and shuttered. She tried wiggling out of his grip, and he let go, letting her fall on her back to the floor.

"Nice to meet you Jennifer." He said holding out his hand, "It really is an honor."

"D'hoffrin." She said recognizing his face. She never officially met him before but had seen him in pictures.

When he noticed she wasn't taking his hand, he pulled it back and smiled, "So you have heard of me."

"You need to leave. I don't want to be part of your family of vengeance demons."

He bent over on his knees to be at her eye level, "I know you would feel that way at first... but I hope you will hear me out at least. You're powerful Jennifer. Do you mind if I call you Jennifer?"

She didn't respond so he shrugged and continued, "Well, you have a problem. You torture yourself. Take vengeance on yourself. You have a passion for it..."

"I-I don't-"

"Jenny why do you think you're hiding in the shadows all the time? Why do you think you're watching Buffy in Los Angeles? Giles does it because he is a watcher. It's his destiny. The Slayer is a creature of the night. What do you think your excuse is? You take pride in being a shadow because you feel like your living for something by torturing yourself."

"Leave her alone." Rupert crawled to her side, "She's dying. She needs to go to the hospital before she loses to much blood!"

Jenny couldn't take her eyes off of D'hoffrin.  _Was everything he was saying true?_

D'hoffrin looked at Rupert, "Don't worry, I'm not saying she doesn't love you. I can understand that after what you guys did last night..." he looked at Jenny's open blouse awkwardly and she closed it around her tighter, "...that might be a horrible thing to hear, but don't worry Ruppy. That's not the case. She loves you. She loves being a shadow. The thing about love... it can torture a person just as much as it can be pleasing. I mean... I would have asked your slayer to join my clan when she was dating Angelus... but her being the slayer and all... I figured she'd deny the offer."

"So do I." Jenny rasped, "I deny it."

"It's not that easy beautiful." He said standing again on his two feet, "Rupert is going to make you do it."

"No I won't!" he said holding Jenny in his arms and standing on his feet as well.

"You will if it's the only way to save her life. Vengeance demons don't die... well they do but it's a lot more complicated than human death. They can live forever if you are careful enough. She is always going to want to fight by your side Rupert, but she is always going to get hurt because she isn't a slayer. She's human. You know you can't stop her from wanting to help you either. If Jennifer grants a few wishes on the side, she can live for as long as she wants."

"No!" Jenny cried. Her voice was only now becoming a whisper.

Rupert looked at her considering it, and Jenny was furious when she could tell he was thinking about it, "Rupert I said no."

"Better hurry." D'hoffrin said, "And sorry for all of this. I really hate tricking people into this job, but your talent is not one that I can simply waste. T-T-F-N, Ta-ta-for-now!"

With that, D'hoffrin burned into flames, and he vanished leaving nothing but a black circle in the carpet where he had been standing.

"Hey! What about me?" Damian shouted up at the ceiling, "Where is my power like you promised?"

No response. Everyone was silent. Damian stood and waited. He wanted the power because he wanted to bring his brother back to life. He would have stood their forever waiting. Rupert wanted to walk around him and get Jenny into the car, but he didn't think Damian would have let that happen safely.

Suddenly their was a rattling noise. Damian smiled eagerly looking up at the ceiling waiting. But Rupert noticed it wasn't coming from up high. It was coming from across the room. Unexpectedly the doors of the closet swung open and Xander Harris fell to the floor. His arms were tied behind his back and his feet were tied together. He was struggling to get out of them.

"He's not a dog!" Xander shouted wiggling on the floor, "The dog isn't a dog! It's a man!"

"Yes, thank you Xander." Rupert said quickly getting him to hush up and not make any more trouble for himself. "We've figured that out."

Xander froze and looked around his room, "I-I don't think I can pay for this."

"We can worry about that later." Giles insisted adjusting Jenny more carefully in his arms.

Damian bent over a picked up the whip he had left on the ground. Rupert was about to run at him to stop him before he could hurt Xander, but he couldn't with Jenny in his arms.

"XANDER LOOK OUT!" Rupert shouted.

Xander crawled and turned on his back but the whip lashed a five inch cut along his back. Rupert was surprised when both Xander and Ms. Calendar screamed at the same time. Rupert's hands suddenly had become more wet and he realized Jenny was bleeding even more and now from her back.

"I have to get her to a hospital!"

"You're not going any where!" Damian shouted.

He was about to lash the whip at them but Ileana grabbed a hold of his leg while she was still stretched out on the floor and they vanished. The whip vanished just as soon as it left a mark by Jenny's eye, and she turned her head unconscious.

Ileana may not have liked Jenny, but her clan worshipped her, and the least she could do was save her. Ileana and Damian flickered away back to Romania where they belonged and she would deal with Damian there.

"Jenny!" Rupert shouted holding her.

Xander was aching and slowly getting on his feet. Thankfully the whip broke the tie holding his arms behind his back and Xander was able to rip off the duct-tape around his feet. The lash in his back burned like hell but he was still able to function with a limp.

"Ms. Calendar!" Xander shouted when he saw her, "What happened?"

"She needs to go to the hospital. Now!"

Xander looked at the bleeding dead man on the floor, "Oh God. Ralph... did he do this?"

"Xander LATER!" Rupert shouted walking past him with Jenny in his arms, "We have to go!"

Rupert held Jenny's limp body tight as he became covered in her blood. All he could think about was saving her as he ran into the elevator with Xander limping behind him. If Jenny wasn't going to make it, Rupert wasn't going to allow it. He would call for D'hoffrin, and turn her into a vengeance demon. That was final. If Jenny couldn't live being human, he could still love her if she was alive a demon. He needed her. And all he cared was that she lived.

Rupert looked closely at Xander as he walked into the elevator. He noticed the same bruise on his face was the same one he found on Jenny's this morning. Now that Rupert had all of his memories back, that wasn't the only time he recognized a similar scar between Jenny and Xander.

"Xander why did Jenny get cut when Damian whipped you?" Rupert said trying to think through everything that happened as the elevator slowly was making it's way down to the lobby.

"I don't know." He admitted, "But every time I get hurt I have this quick vision and I see Ms. Calendar also getting hurt. I thought it was just my brains reaction to a traumatizing event. I didn't know she was really getting hurt."

"Well keep yourself safe." Rupert said, "Jenny must have done something to link herself to you to take away your pain. I need you to be strong for Jenny to be strong."

"Gotcha!" Xander said, "I wont do anything stupider than usual."

Xander looked at his arm and then made a huff like if he just realized something. Rupert waited for him to explain and when he didn't, he finally asked, "What is it?"

Xander looked up into Rupert's eyes and froze. What he saw scared him. Rupert's eyes were pink, his face was wet in tears, and his bear chest was covered in Ms. Calendar's blood as he held her in his arms. But the scariest part of it all, was Xander had never seen Giles so scared. When Giles was scared, everything felt hopeless.

Xander swallowed hard and looked away from Giles so he could continue, "Remember I broke my arm when we saved the world? Well... the doctors were amazed it healed so fast. Now I understand why it did."

"Oh." Rupert said looking back at the elevator doors. The elevator came to a stop, and the doors opened. When doors opened, the people that were waiting for the elevator shouted and screamed. Everyone looked in their direction as they hurried out of the elevator, "Someone help! We need an ambulance now!" Rupert shouted and the people at the lobby counter quickly dialed 911.

Rupert whispered quickly in Xander's ear. "Get Ms. Calendar a towel over there off the maids cart."

"Got it."

Xander ran to get the towel Rupert asked for while he laid Jenny's body onto the lobby couch after the visitors had cleared it.

The lobby manager ran up to Rupert nervous and out of breath, "What happened?"

"Intruder." Rupert said not taking his eyes off of Jenny and feeling her pulse slowing down. Xander came with the towel, and Rupert covered it over her body. He had wished she was wearing more than just his button up, but thankfully it was covering her enough despite the new lashes in his shirt.

Xander finished Giles explanation, "Room D on level 6. Intruder came, tied us up and had a whip. Ralph, our friend, is up there dead and Ms. Calendar here needs an ambulance."

"Where is that ambulence!" The manager shouted.

"They said they are coming!" The lady behind the lobby counter replied.

The manager looked at Xander and noticed he was bleeding on his back and walking with a limp. Next he looked over at Giles.

"Are you hurt?"

Giles hesitated, "Uh... no."

"Why are you the only one that didn't get hurt?" he asked suspiciously.

Rupert's hand held the face of the woman he loved and his nose fell down to her cheek. He closed his eyes, "She saved my life." Rupert then began to cry. Hard. Xander cringed at the sound of an older man crying. He wanted to mute it out but it soon became a sound he would never forget. Rupert held Jenny's face and cried while people began to form a circle and watched.

"Okay everyone back off..." the manager said shooing away the crowd.

Xander dealt with the ambulance as they arrived because Rupert couldn't do it. They carried her in the mobile bed and Giles sat beside her in the ambulance car as it rushed to the hospital. Xander got in Rupert's car and drove there himself, following the ambulance. The medic in the back of the ambulance was also hooking Jenny up to the machines and applying pressure to her wounds to stop the bleeding.

Rupert's hands were covered in blood. When her heart stopped beating, he was about to take away her humanity. It was killing him but it would save her. He still had her blood on his hands. But he waited hoping that the doctors could preform a miracle.

When they arrived, they hurried her out of the car and Rupert froze when he saw Xander park his car not to far away. A light flashed in his eye from the rose quarts dangling from his review mirror in the car. Willow's words rang in his head.

_"I found this in her drawer. She told me it was a Rose Quarts and it has healing powers."_

Rupert left the ambulance men as they ran into the hospital, and he ran to Xander. Before Xander shut his door, Rupert was able to reach over his head and take the necklace from off the review mirror.

"Hurry Xander." Rupert said, and Rupert ran ahead to catch up with his love as Xander limped behind him at an incredible pace.

When Rupert followed the men into the emergency room, people were telling him he had to leave. He pushed through them and more and more doctors came to stop him. Xander waited outside and shouted at Rupert to stop. But he didn't. He pressed through all the people, and as soon as he saw Jenny he quickly pulled the necklace around her head, and it fell around her neck.

He kissed her forehead lightly. "Wake up for me baby." he whispered.

Then the doctors pulled him by the shoulders out of the room. And Rupert watched as more distance came between him and Jenny. Then he was outside the emergency room doors.

"Sir..." one of the doctors said, "you have to wait out here."

"He will." Xander assured him.

The doctor turned around and went back in the room. Xander turned toward Giles and patted him on the back. He led Rupert to the waiting room, where thankfully no one was there and the television screen was playing The Simpsons. Xander pulled off the hoodie he was wearing and gave it to Rupert. He put it on, and zipped it up but it still didn't cover all of Jenny's blood that he was covered in.

When Rupert saw the deep red blood on his hands that still hadn't dried, he fell to his knees and cried some more. Xander said nothing, but closed the doors of the waiting room so no one would hear the sounds of agonizing pain. Then he walked beside Rupert, sat beside him, and wrapped his arms around the man wishing he would stop.

*Xander*

Once Giles had pulled himself together he explained to me what had happened. When Damian had broken the necklace, the spell had been broken which caused Ms. Calendar and Giles to remember everything.

If Ms. Calendar wasn't going to make it, Giles only chance to save her was to turn her into a vengeance demon. I was surprised he was going to do that for her. It was very Anti-Giles of him, but I could understand what would compel him to do that. He lost her once, and a half... and he is not about to lose her again.

We just sat and waited for her fate.

I didn't like the sound of vengeance demons. They sounded creepy, casting evil wishes and all. I didn't wish that fate for Ms. Calendar. I didn't wish a fate like that to anybody. I don't know how Giles would be able to date a vengeance demon, I know I would never be able to do it.

But Ms. Calendar was my friend, and I'd love her anyway... it would just be awkward with her trying to cast evil wishes, and us always having to stop her.

I tried not to think about that now.

"So I guess you guys worked things out yesterday?" I asked since I had not seen either of them since yesterday after I left.

"Yea... we uh, we're good."

"Did you guys talk about Buffy?"

He shifted in his seat, "We talked about a lot of things." He looked at me as I waited for him to continue, "uh, Jenny said she has a lead. And when she finds her, she's going to... watch over her until Buffy comes back."

"Watch her?" I said confused, "Why not bring her back?"

"Xander... Buffy wants to be gone and we can't force her back. If we tried, she'll keep running. At least with Jenny watching her, she'll be safe."

I thought about it, and hated that he was right, "Why does Buffy want to be gone Giles? We didn't do anything to her..."

"No, we didn't." Rupert agreed, "But this kill was her hardest one yet. She loved Angel."

"Yea... I'm getting that." I didn't want to talk about Angel anymore,  _the bastard._ "So I've been meaning to ask... Damian... he didn't violate Ms. Calendar did he?"

"What?" He looked at me confused, "What makes you think that?"

"Well... the way she was dressed..." I explained, "I mean, I didn't see anything but I doubt those were her pj's and... since when do you own jeans?"

"Oh." He paused looking down at his pants, "Damian only touched her with the whip."

He tried to drop it but I wouldn't let it go, "But Giles... jeans?"

"Uh... er... Ms. Calendar let me barrow them."

"Oh. That makes sense..." I looked down at a magazine. The words that grabbed my attention read,  _ **Top ten secrets for better Sex!**_

I was about to pick up the magazine when I realized something else, "Oh!" I looked back at Giles and stood from my chair, "Oh! Giles! You slept with Ms. Calendar? She was wearing your shirt! Oh my..."

"Xander that's none of your business."

"No Giles... see you're not getting it! You slept with her last night..."

"Xander-"

"No Listen! You slept with her last night and look at what happened this morning! Look, Ms. Calendar has had it rough, we all know that, but think about it. The first time she's been happy since she came back alive was when she was with you... you sleep together and she wakes up, almost dies and you might have to turn her into an evil demon? Does this not sound like another story we've recently heard?"

"Angel and Buffy." His eyes widened with fear, "You- you think there is a connection?"

"I don't, but I bet you Ms. Calendar does." I was filling with fear as I spoke, "If you two did sleep together... which I'm guessing you did... and you turn her into a demon, she's never going to talk to us again! Not because she's mad at you but because of the next part of the story..."

"Angel killed Jenny..."

"And now Jenny thinks she'll kill somebody."

Rupert and I were surrounded by a room of silence. We were lost in thought. If Jenny was going to die, we either let her... or she never talks to us again while she lives a demon. Either way, we lost her. All bets were on the small hope she is going to live.

"She has to live..." Rupert spoke, "she has to."

"Why couldn't you settle her issues with a box of Oreos or... or tea and crackers like any other decent person?" I said frustrated.

"Xander!" he yelled back at me.

"How do you think she's going to react when she wakes up?"

"Well what did you expect?" He yelled yanking off his glasses and standing from his chair.

"I expected you to solve it with Oreos or tea and crackers!"

"You're the one who left us in the room alone! You hadn't seen us most of the day and all night, and when we barged in on her yesterday we disrupted her when she was about to take a bath..."

"Details!" He stopped me, "Too many details!"

"Xander if she turns into a demon I blame this all on you."

"Me?"  _Now he was trying to pin it on me?_

"You left us alone!"

"You told me too!"

"The least you could have done was check in on us later..."

"Sorry I didn't get a to-do list!" I spat, "Listen, I didn't put a gun to your head and tell you to seduce Ms. Calendar. You did that all by yourself so when she turns into a god-damned demon and she runs away from us along with Buffy, it's all on your horny ass so don't you go be blaming it on me!"

I watched him as he had nothing else to say. I swear I saw his heart brake and I swear I wished I could have taken back everything that I said. I realized now that he was trying to blame it on me so he could feel less responsible for everything that was going on. He was blaming it on me so he could feel better, and all I did was yell back at him in a moment of heated rage. He looked down at the floor and I wanted to apologize, but I didn't know what to say. All I wished was that I could take it back.

Just then a doctor walked in. We both looked at him and neither Giles or I could breathe as we waited for what the doctor had to say.

"Are you guys here for Jennifer?"

"We're family." I said and the doctor nodded in my direction.

"Good. We need you to sign these."

He handed them to Giles but neither of us took our eyes off of him, "How is she?"

Giles was about to cry again when he said it, his voice was barely able to whisper it.

"Jennifer lost a lot of blood, and she had a previous sprain in her right arm that came back, so she'll need another cast."

"Another cast?" I said excitedly, "That means she'll live?"

"Yea. She's going to live. We get a lot of people that donate blood around here so she's going to be just fine. She needs to rest here just a little longer before she can go. We need to make sure her heart can pump the new blood."

"Oh thank God!" I praised falling to my knees.

"What blood type is she?" Giles asked.

"Uh... AB positive."

"Can I donate?" He asked, "I'm the same blood type."

He smiled at him, "Of course you can. Follow me, we got to do this quickly... the nurses are still working on stopping her from bleeding."

"Can she have visitors?" I asked.

"When the nurses are done. In about ten minutes at least?"

"Xander come with me." Giles said, "Usually you get a cookie for doing this."

"Do I have to donate blood?"

"No... you can have my cookie." Giles smiled for the first time in what felt like forever.

"Yay!" I followed them down the hall. Now that we were sure Ms. Calendar was going to be fine, it felt safe for me to apologize to Giles. I patted his shoulder, "Giles... about what I said earlier... I didn't mean it."

"You were right."

"I have my moments." I shrugged, "But I still didn't have the right to yell at you like that when Ms. Calendar..."

"Xander, it's okay... she's safe now."

The doctor took Giles blood and the large needle scared me. But Giles didn't even seem to notice that the needle was taking blood out of his arm for a whole 16 seconds! He didn't even flinch. Giles was strong again. This was the Giles I liked... because he didn't feel hopeless, and that meant there was always hope.

I got Giles's cookie, but it didn't last long. I wanted another.  _The things I'll do for food... I am never giving blood ever again_. I'm just saying that now before I eat my second cookie.

*Rupert*

Xander finally decided to give blood. I think he just wanted a second cookie. He was disappointed when his first one was gone. As Xander was doing that, I went down to my car, and pulled out the Sunflowers in my trunk that I was supposed to take to her grave before I found out she was alive. The flowers were trashed. I figured from Xander's driving, so I threw them out. Instead I ran to the flower shop next door and bought a dozen red roses. The flower that reminded me of Jenny.

I ran back to the hospital and found Xander waiting for me beside Jenny's room. He hadn't gone in yet, and he was fidgeting with the bandaid wrapped on his forearm.

"Oh. Flowers for Ms. Calendar." he nodded, "Very suave."

"You didn't go in to see her yet?" I asked.

"I was going to... but it didn't feel right." He shrugged, "I think you need to see her first. I'll be in in about five minutes. I figure you two need some alone time to talk about er... everything."

I rolled my eyes walking past him, "How generous."

I opened the doors and saw Jenny resting in the bed dressed in the blue hospital gown. She wasn't covered in blood anymore but the side of her face was a little swollen. She had a visible cut on one cheek and a scar down her eye. The doctor was hooking her up to one of the machines giving her blood and she peeled her eyes away from him, and looked endearingly at me with her bundle of roses. She smiled. So did I. One of my tears fell into the roses. I just stared at the most beautiful thing in the whole world.

The doctor finished up and left. I quickly moved to her side. I put the flowers beside her took her hand and kissed her forehead.

"Don't you ever do that again."

"What... talk?" She laughed. Her voice was rough and dry.

"Your talking almost got you killed!"

"Yea... well... I didn't die." her hand grabbed the Rose Quarts around her neck and I noticed it was much smaller than when I first put it around her. It had formed into the shape of a heart. Her hand traveled from her neck and down to the bundle of roses, "You know I'm really starting to love roses."

"Me too." I smiled

"I'm glad that was the end of our flash backs." She said looking back at me.

"Are you sure that was the last of them?" I asked.

"Don't you remember?" She said, "The book said that the memory swap would end when we had a flashback in our own point of view. When Damian broke that necklace... it was a flash of memory and I saw it from my own point of view."

"Same here. Maybe that is the end of those. They were beginning to drive me insane..."

She hummed a small laugh, and her hand reached out to touch my face and I held her cold palm against my warm skin.

"You know what's funny about all this?"

"Jenny... if you find any of this funny, I'm going to tie you to a chair and allow you to never do anything  _funny_ ever again."

She rolled her eyes jokingly, "It's funny because when I was chained to the wall, I thought for sure I would regret making love to you when this was all over. I thought I would regret falling in love with you the day I first told you I was in love... but I don't. Not one cell in me feels it was wrong. It's funny... because it should feel wrong after everything that went down this morning... after everything I caused... but it doesn't." She said now out of breath.

"How do you feel about it then?" I asked not expecting her to say that at all.

"I feel like I want to do it again." She smiled and her weak fingers pulled on Xander's jacket. I went in for a kiss and she continued, "I want to make love to you everyday until the day I die. I love you Rupert Giles and no stupid demon can change that. We fight demons, that's nothing new... I don't even remember what I was trying to keep you safe from anymore. A monster isn't always going to be hiding in the closet when we have sex, and if their is... we slay it." she winked.

"That's what we do." I smiled, "So you're not going to run away?"

"I'm running to you."

"Good, because I can't live without you Jenny. I'd kill every demon to keep you with me if I had to."

She smiled and I kissed her. I felt her tears falling onto my nose, and mine were falling onto hers.

*Xander*

I waited outside and soon enough after Giles walked in, a doctor walked out. He smiled at me and said, "If your mother needs anything at all you let me know."

"Actually she's not my mother..." I corrected.

"Oh! You're her brother?"

"Uh... no." I shook my head, "We're actually not related by blood. See she's just a great friend and we're all the only family we got. Friendship-Family Bond type thing."

"Oh." He looked at me strangely, "Are you sure...?"

"Yea." I replied giving him a dirty look.

"I apologize." He said, "It's just your blood... it was so similar to hers and his... like if you were related."

"His?" I asked now afraid, "Giles?"

"Is that her husband?"

"They're not married. Just dating. But yea."

He looked at me curiously, and turned his head to their room, "My mistake. Yea the blood matched." He looked back at me, "...Are you sure?"

"Look... I'm sure okay. I have parents and those are not them. Ms. Calendar and Giles met about two years ago... I'm not two years old so obviously I'm not theirs."

"Sorry my mistake."

"Yea... tip for next time. Don't make assumptions."

He nodded with an apologetic smile and walked out of the hallway. I realized I had probably been a little dramatic but I was to frustrated to care.  _Giles my dad? Ha! Yea right._ The thought of it just gave me the wiggins. Although I have to admit, he'd be a better father then the one I got now.

Before I was left alone with anymore wild ideas, I thought it was about time to finally check in on Ms. Calendar.

*Rupert*

Our embrace only lasted a good four seconds before Xander came in.

"Okay. Gross..." he said covering his eyes, "I'm not looking! ...Hi Ms. Calendar."

I pulled away annoyed and Ms. Calendar and I quickly wiped away our tears.

"Hey Xander." she said her voice still dry.

Slowly he pulled his hand away from his face and carefully looked at Ms. Calendar. When he saw I was no longer kissing her, he bent down giving her the biggest hug. She hugged him back wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I'm so sorry. I didn't know Dot... the dog... was evil."

"None of us did." She reminded him.

Xander looked at her with a stupid smile on his face and finally blinked once he spoke, "Oh did Giles tell you?"

"Tell me what?" She asked looking over at me suspiciously.

Xander showed her his arm where they had taken out the blood, "We gave blood!"

She looked at his arm, and then reached out to see mine. Her fingers lightly traced the band-aid on my skin, "You mean-?"

I interrupted, "I didn't want some random Los Angeles creep's blood running through your veins."

She laughed looking at the bag of blood, "Well... I guess my heart's pumping your blood right about now. You're in my veins Rupert. Saving my life..."

"Me too!" Xander peeped, "But... not in a romantic way... like Giles..."

"Yes thank you for clearing that up Xander." I murmured annoyed.

"My boys'," she looked back between Xander and I, "Your blood is saving my life. Thank you."

"Hey it's worth it." Xander said.

"He's talking about the free cookie." I informed.

"Hey it was also partly about saving her life!"

"Well thank you both anyway." Jenny peeped.

One of her hands reached out to hold Xander's and the other reached out for mine. For a moment we were all happy and smiling. We didn't have to say anything. Everything for this moment was just perfect. Jenny didn't have to be a demon, and I got to be at her side.

She turned her head looking at me curiously, "Who's sweater is that?"

"Xander's... he loaned it to me."

"What does the hospital have a no shirt, no service type of deal?" She joked.

Xander piped in, "No. Giles just feels like wearing everyone else's clothes today."

Jenny's brows came together confused as she looked at Xander for an explanation. He didn't give one. She then looked at me for my explanation.

"What does he mean?" She asked.

"The Jeans you loaned me."

"Oh." She laid back and relaxed. Then I felt her grip tense. She looked at me again and her voice still sounded raspy, "Oh! He knows?"

I nodded awkwardly, "Yea. He knows."

"Oh." She laid back down and smiled at Xander awkwardly.

Xander also didn't know what to say. We all waited there for a moment in silence.

Jenny nodded her head, "Yea... well... that's just -" she paused, "Anyone else starving?"

"Loads!" Xander said quickly and with much enthusiasm.


	36. For My Love

The hospital was helpful in giving Jenny a new pair of jeans and red shirt donated from the salvation army since her previous clothes were now somewhat in shreds. The nurse that came suppling her with the clothes had recognized her from before.

"No longer wearing that cast?" The nurse said rather irritably, "What you in here for now?"

"I was attacked."

"But you are fine now?"

Jenny nodded her head and began to put on the clothes the nurse had supplied her with.

"What about them?" The nurse continued. She was talking about Rupert and Xander who were standing on the other side of the closed door, "Are they okay?"

Jenny smiled, "Yes. Thankfully they weren't hurt as bad."

"I thought you said that you were  _alone_  here in Los Angeles?"

"I was..." Jenny admitted, "But they found me."

"Well, lets try not to get in any more danger okay?" The nurse said forcing a smile on her face, "We wouldn't want you to be wearing any more casts."

Jenny had finished dressing and nodded politely at the nurse. The nurse headed out fixing something in her clipboard, and then Rupert and Xander had piled back into the room.

"I feel horrible Jenny," Rupert started, "I recall telling you that hospitals were not going to become a routine visiting place for us."

"Obviously thats not working."

Jenny ignored Xander's comment as Ralph's memory began filling her mind. He was responsible for saving her plenty of times. They would have made good friends. She remembered how nice he was to her when she had forgotten her memories with Rupert. Life could have turned out so much differently if Ralph could have handled just being friends.

Giles whipped a small tear for Jenny's eye and looked up to meet his gaze.

"Let's just get out of here. I don't want to be here any longer."

As soon as Jenny was released from the hospital, Rupert took her and Xander to the nearest Buffet. They all ate more than they bargained for, but at least their empty stomachs were satisfied. Rupert was happy he paid for a buffet, because Xander stuffed his face and that would have cost a fortune to feed that kid anywhere else. However, Rupert could not deny that he too could eat a horse.  _Well... not literally. He actually was quite fond of horses._

"What would you like to do today?" Rupert asked taking Jenny's hand as they walked down the street, "We can do anything you want, since you are still considered the birthday girl."

"It's your birthday Ms. Calendar?" Xander exclaimed.

Jenny gave Rupert a frustrated stare. Rupert only said it out loud so Xander would know, and she did not want any more attention than she was already getting. It made her feel uncomfortable. Especially since she felt as if she didn't deserve any special treatment.

"It was yesterday." She huffed.

"Well, I guess it's official. No birthday of ours can end without some sort of demon slayage."

She nodded in agreement with Xander, "Yea. We are the lucky ones."

"Well Ms. C., Giles is right. Technically we didn't get to celebrate your birthday! What do you want to do? We only came here to be with you!"

Jenny froze. She stopped walking and looked at Xander and Rupert. She smiled because she felt loved. The only reason either of them came out here was to see her, and it took her a while to realize it. She was more pleased with entertaining the thought that she got to see them. Not the other way around.

"If you don't chose Ms. C., then I'm going to have to chose and I can guarantee that is not always a good thing."

"Lets not let Xander chose..." Rupert cautioned as the wallet in his pocket began to feel lighter.

She laughed, "Well anything I chose isn't exactly british enough for you, Rupert."

"Who cares?" Xander exclaimed putting his arm around Ms. Calendar, "Two votes from the New World and only one vote for the Mother Country. We've got those Brits out-numbered."

"He's right Jenny." Giles shrugged, "We can do what ever you want, as long as we get to be with you. I just need you now."

Jenny pondered the thought of the three of them in Los Angeles. She wasn't quite sure what would be fun for the three of them. She looked up at the sky and the warm sun was beaming down against her cool her skin.

"What if we went down to Malibu Beach? Just to walk around..." she looked at Rupert with a smile.

"Then that's what we will do!" Xander jumped, "Now lets get in the british-mobile and be on our way to bikinis, waves, and babes!"

Rupert rolled his eyes at Xander and kissed Jenny once on the cheek before they got into the car. The sun was beaming from above, and children could be heard laughing and playing by the waves. The day was warm, and no wind blew by to ruin the day. It was if the sky was suddenly clear. It was the perfect day for the beach.

The three of them walked down the bike path and stopped to look at the stores they passed. All of the small shops had a beach theme tying into the scenery. Xander was walking ahead of the trio and when he saw a group of california girls walking by with their brand new swim suits, Xander froze causing Jenny and Rupert to crash into him.

"What is it Xander?" Rupert said annoyed while Xander was totally oblivious to the fact that he had just been crashed into.

Xander turned around to look at Giles. The smile on Xander's face made his wallet ache.

"We can't very much be at the beach without swim suits. Who's up for a quick shopping spree?"

Xander dashed inside the store that he had just seen the girls walk out of. Jenny's raised eye brow, and Giles disapproving stare were beat when they were forced to follow Xander inside.

"Xander's right." Rupert finally shrugged looking at Jenny craving to see her in on the the tops he had just spotted, "Why don't you pick yourself out something? It's on me..."

Jenny laughed, "Okay Rupert. But you have to find yourself something too."

He nodded approvingly with a dorky smile wide on his lips, "Alright."

Jenny let go of his hand and went searching on the opposite end of the small shop. Rupert hesitantly followed Xander hoping for some advice. Suddenly realizing that Xander's advice wouldn't be of much use to him anyway, he turned around and the three of them separately searched for their own swim wear.

All three of them tried on several in the changing room. Xander also added to his task by checking out all the girls walking into the shop. He was the last to discover the trunks he wanted. They met up in front of the cash register. Both Giles and Xander held out their trunks but Jenny wasn't holding anything. Rupert looked at her disappointed.

"Jenny... did you not find anything you liked? I-If you're having trouble finding one that suits you I came across a few that would-"

He paused as Jenny slid the sleeve of her shirt down her elbow. A price tag was showing, and she yanked it from her suit. She handed it to Rupert. He eyed her exposed shoulder until she fixed her sleeve again.

"I just didn't want you to see it yet," she smiled.

"S-s-o you're wearing it?"

"Uh-huh."

"Hmm." He hid his momentary frustration and paid for their suits. He wanted to see Jenny now, but he'd have to wait until they were down by the shore. The quicker they got through the stores the better.

Xander wanted to stop at a couple other stores just to look around. Rupert began to grow impatient. As Jenny and Xander were standing outside a shop full of shirts with funny sayings, Rupert walked inside to buy a shirt just so he could return Xander his jacket.

Giles walked out with his new shirt while Jenny and Xander were laughing at the quotes on the others.

"What you got there Rupert?" Jenny asked laughing.

He pulled out the plain white t-shirt in the bag and Jenny looked at him confused. Xander patted her shoulder still wanting to laugh.

"We can always count on Giles to find the only shirt in the store that is not funny."

Both Xander and Ms. Calendar continued their laughter while Giles gave them an aggravated stare. When Jenny saw this, she calmed down and took the shirt from Rupert.

"I don't know Xander..." she said examining the shirt, "I think this is the funniest shirt in the store."

"Well, I just bought the shirt to finally give Xander back his jacket. It's cutting off the circulation to my hands."

He unzipped Xander's jacket and handed it back to him. Jenny almost dropped the white shirt while watching him. Looking at Rupert again with his shirt off sent her memories back to last night when thy first touched. The way his muscles flexed and the sounds he made. She had to bite her lip to hide a moan trying to escape her lips.

"Jenny?"

"Hmm...?" She forced her eyes to look at his face.

Rupert was trying to take the white shirt from Jenny but she was grasping it desperately.

"Oh." She let go of the shirt and watched as he quickly put the shirt over his head. Traces of her blood were stained to his chest, and Jenny snapped out of her memories back to reality. Rupert saved her life. He not only had her heart but also her soul.

"Where did Xander go?" Jenny finally asked when she noticed his disappearance.

"He said he wanted to go look at the stores at the end of this path, remember?"

Jenny shook her head.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She admitted, "My mind was just somewhere else."

"May I ask where your mind was?" He asked while adjusting the glasses on his nose.

She smirked giving him a wicked smile, "All over you."

He stared at her for a second, and gulped down his unexpected moan. He reached out for her face and searched her eyes for some kind of explanation to how she could be so perfect. But he could find no reason. It was just a fact to him. As the warm air surrounding them raised in temperature, he tilted her chin up, and slid his lips into hers for a kiss.

"Paintball!" Xander shouted running toward them.

The couple quickly pulled away.

"We have to play paintball." Xander continued running up to them out of breath, "There is a paintball house! You go inside and its dark, but its an actual paintball field! The paint is neon colors so you can see it splatter in the dark! It's so cool! I've never seen anything like it! We gotta try it out! Please!"

"Xander, Jenny has just left the hospital. I don't think she is fit to be playing paintball."

"No. Paintball sounds fun." Jenny smiled, "We'll follow you Xander."

"Jenny, I don't think..."

"Rupert, you're just scared to find out that you can't beat me."

Rupert looked at Jenny disapprovingly, and then nodded at Xander to show them the way. He finally gave in. He had to. He promised they could do what ever Jenny wanted. However, he was growing exceedingly impatient to see her in her new swim suit. He kept his mouth shut and followed.

The Paintball house was one-story tall but it was wide enough for people to run around in. Outside of the building, Rupert paid for and signed the papers allowing them to play indoors. They had to wait outside for a couple more people to join and by the time there was ten people signed up, they split into teams and were ready to play. The teams were 5 boys against 5 girls. After the teams were set, the rules were explained and the teams parted their separate ways.

"Jenny are you sure you are able to play this game in your condition?" Rupert asked one last time.

"I'm stronger than I look." she said challenging him.

He smiled, "Oh, I know you are."

His sexual tone had caught Jenny off guard. He kissed her forehead once before following his team mates, and Jenny stood their for a second trying to find her footing. She had to be careful. Paintball wouldn't make her weak, but Rupert might. She huffed in frustration. She wanted to beat him. She was determined to show him that she could be useful in battle, because she is always the one who ends up getting hurt or possessed. She wanted to put an end to that now. She was furious. She had to win.

The teams were given protective gear to put on. Girls wore neon pink, and the boys wore neon blue. They could be easily seen in the dark. Next they were loaded with their guns. Each gun held 200 paintballs. The men had green paintballs and the women had yellow in order to decipher who shot who. When both teams were ready, they were finally allowed inside the paintball house. It was dark, it was hard to see much else other than the bright green exit doors, and paint splatters on walls that you would have not even noticed were there. Suddenly strobe lights turned on making the playing field easy to see for brief seconds at a time. A loud speaker voice erupted over the playing field.

"Now remember, in ten minutes, a buzzer will sound and everyone will stop what they are doing and walk out the green exit doors. This way we can make sure no one is cheating and that everyone still left in the game has not yet been hit. If you are hit, put your gun over your head and shout "dead man" as you exit out the green doors immediately. Be warned, it is dark, and there are many places to hide. Be carful not to hurt yourself on obstacles by turning corners to fast. Shots against your own team mate do not count. When the buzzer sounds, you may begin."

The boys team and the girls team had entered the house on different sides. They were currently in polar opposite areas of the playing field maze. When the buzzer sounded, the game began.

*Xander*

"Giles, I'm not so sure how I feel about shooting at a girl."

"Well, don't shoot if you see Ms. Calendar... she's mine."

I began to crawl on the floor while Giles plastered himself against a wall as we followed each other down the same pathway, "All these girls look alike. If I see pink, I'm shooting. How am I supposed to recognize it's Ms. Calendar without her shooting me while I take forever to examen her face?"

"Maybe go for the two blonds first?"

"Right. Their hair will be easier to spot... good thinking." I looked up at Giles wanting to laugh at the way his helmet pushed the hair around on his head. He looked ridiculous, "You know Giles, I have never seen you this competitive? Have you played paintball before?"

"The watchers council used it as a drill to help the watchers practice their coordination and skill under moments of stress. But they got rid of it."

"What happened? Was paintball becoming too fun for the dull and boring?"

"It became too much of an "uncontrollable" practice. Watchers would get shots to the head, and many were wounded. The game was always supposed to ensure the watchers safety and too many got hurt."

After we passed our corner I got back to my feet and look at Giles, "But that doesn't make sense. If you fight vampires and demons, it's not always going to be under controllable circumstances?"

Giles looked at me with a sad gleam in his eye, "I agree."

Suddenly a girl could be heard running and giggling straight ahead. Both Giles and I held our guns at the ready.

"Stay low Giles." I urged, "You're probably not as quick to dodge a paintball as I am. If you're low they are less likely to hit you."

"You're lucky you are on my team!" Giles spat back at me, "I've been playing this game for years. I am stronger and quicker than you."

"Notice your emphasis on  _years_. You know Giles, with older age comes-"

"Fine." Giles let his gun fall to his side and he turned around, "You go get her. I'll go back and do this on my own. I don't need you insulting me at every corner."

"But Giles!" I shouted back at him. "I was just trying to help!"

He ignored me and continued walking in the opposite direction.

"Fine. I don't need the old guy anyway." I held my gun out in front of me and followed the sound of the girl running before she got to far away. "Here kitty kitty..."

*Jenny*

Almost immediately I found myself a corner to hide in. To be perfectly honest, I found it by mistake. I was running and kicked a wall that I had not seen. It was a small wall only up to the length of my waist but was stretched out long enough that if I were to lay on my stomach, neither end of me would show. I hid behind the wall quickly.

I saw the other four girls continue running forward and none of them noticing me. The two blonds stuck together, and the red head worked on her own. She seemed to be a professional at this with the way she moved. No doubt she had played this game before. The last brunet was most likely new to this game. She seemed to be Xander's age, and I saw her come with her boyfriend. No doubt separated from him, she was a weak and easy target. I could tell because as soon as the game started she went running and giggling in one direction leaving the rest of us girls to realize it was just the four of us left. My team was sharp, and we could handle our own... that is... minus the one.

The strobe lights made finding a person all the more difficult, and I had to close my eyes every so often because the change in light was easily beginning to bother my sight. Soon enough I saw a figure moving quickly to my left. I got low to the floor and waited for him to near. I watched as his neon blue protection gear was crawling onto a higher surface. He also must have stumbled upon a secret because it wasn't where he was naturally heading to. With his back turned, looked up over the wall and aimed my gun. I shot at him, and watched the yellow paintball splatter all over his back.

"Damn it!" The man shouted.

When this happened I heard a shot fired toward me. I ducked down quickly. My first shot must have given away my position. I looked at the wall above me where the paintball hit and was quickly able to determine that he was coming from the right. I laid flat on my belly and crawled over to the right of my wall. I aimed my gun from the floor, but was unable to find the man that shot me.

"Deadman! Deadman! Deadman!" The man I had previously shot was shouting as he made his way toward the exit. When he opened the door, enough light was let through to where I could clearly see the man who shot me. He was looking right at me. We both froze from the shock of crawling nearly five inches away from each other, and hid behind each opposite side of the wall. I was stuck between him and a wall while he had all the open space to run around in. He had me cornered. I felt trapped.

I tried talking to figure out where exactly behind my wall he stood, "What's your name?"

He was silent for a while debating if he should answer. He finally did, "Chris."

I looked around to find if I could crawl somewhere, but I couldn't. I talked some more hoping I could hear if he moved, "Are you here alone?"

"No, I uh... came with my girlfriend. Sarah."

His mistake. I heard him crawling around the wall to my left, so I knew I had to act fast.

"What's your name?" He asked back.

Quickly I stood from where I had been trapped, and saw him frightened as he was on the other side of the wall crawling and looking up at me. I shot down at him, covering him with two neon yellow paintballs. He yelped from the pressure of the blasts hurting him through the protective gear.

"My name is Jennifer."

He struggled to his feet, "Good game Jennifer." He said out of breath, "I wasn't expecting an attack from above. I thought we were going to keep crawling circles around this wall forever."

"Yea, well, I like to break old habits." She joked.

He held out his hand to shake hers, and she shook it. "Maybe next time my lady..."

*Giles*

Xander must have lost track of the giggling girl, because I saw her shot by another one of our team members. Xander had wandered off somewhere else and I wasn't going to go looking after him. I had one target to search for.

I heard one of our team members had gotten shot, and other than that I had to assume she was still in the game. I listened closely to any nearby movement, and I did not hear any movement. However, I was able to hear the sound of her voice. I followed her voice swiftly through the maze.

*Xander*

While I was running after the giggling girl, someone else shot at my feet and thankfully missed. I turned to hide behind the closest wall and waited patiently. I was hoping it wasn't Ms. Calendar who shot at me. I promised Giles that could be his kill. However, if she was the girl about to walk by, then I would have no choice but to kill her before she kills me.

When I heard the girl walk by, I stood close against the wall with my gun at the ready. She walked by unaware of where I was. She looked around to find me but she couldn't see me. I noticed the blond hair coming out from under her helmet and smiled.

_Hello kitty._

As she walked far enough ahead, I walked out from my hiding spot and aimed my gun directly at her back.  _Click._

"Click!" I pulled the trigger and a gun released a green paintball against her back.  _Kill._

"Hey!" She shouted.

My smile turned back down when she turned around and saw the anger in her face. This kitty was viscous.

"Sorry." I said, putting my hands up in the air.

"This is for shooting my sister." I heard a voice say from behind me.

My eyes widened, and I turned around slowly. Another blonde had her gun pointed at my chest. I closed my eyes in fear waiting for the blow.

BWWAARRR... The buzzer had just gone off.

_Talk about being saved by the bell..._

I opened my eyes and the blonde that was still alive was even more furious than her sister.

"This isn't over!" She agued.

The both of them held each other protectively as they walked out of the closest green exit way. My breathing finally continued. This game just got interesting. Something about blondes... they just like to fight.  _I like that in a woman._

*Jenny*

As I was shaking the man's hand, the buzzer rang, and the first round was over. It was time to see who is left.

"Maybe next time my lady..." he said bowing down to lightly kiss my palm, "We will have another chance for me to prove myself."

I laughed.

He continued, "Now I must go and see if Sarah shares the same fate as me. I would hate to leave her in this game alone."

He turned around and left out of the green exit door. I couldn't help but smile as watching the man leave. It was the first time someone had been happy after I had shot at them.

I was about to head out myself, but I felt a pair of eyes staring at me. I looked to my left and saw Giles standing with his gun at his hip wearing his neon blue gear. He looked angry, but I couldn't understand why.

"Rupert?" I called out to him.

He was about to reply but didn't. Instead he ignored me, and walked out of the building. I quickly followed after him.

*Rupert*

Jenny followed me out as we met up with the others.

"Rupert!" She called out to me, "What is it?"

I was so furious that a whipped around to yell at her, "You know you don't have to hold hands with every one you kill!"

"Excuse me?" She said taken aback.

I continued, "And him kissing your hand wasn't necessary either! This is not a child's game Jenny!"

Her brows were knitted together in fury, "Well you are sure acting like a child Rupert! I didn't tell him to do that!"

"Yea well, you didn't fight him off either."

"He was shaking my hand to tell me good game! I know this may be unusual to you, but some people have goods sportsmanship now-a-days."

"Now-a-days? What do you mean by that?"

"I think she called you old." Xander piped in surprising the both of us.

"BE QUIET!" Both Jenny and I shouted back at him.

He froze, and shut his mouth.

"All I'm saying is that after you shoot him, you don't need to hold his hand!"

"Right well..." she said taking her gun in her arms firmly, "I'll remember that after I shoot you in round two."

With her gun, she shoved me as she walked back to join the others.

"What happened?" Xander asked, still at my side.

I held the gun in my arms watching Jenny walk back to her team of remaining girls, "This game just left ammeter mode."

"Giles... Ms. Calendar is just a girl."

"Yea, and she's mine."

*Jenny*

_Who does he think he is? Telling me who I can and can not talk to! He just can't understand that he's the only man I want to be with! Was almost dying to save his life to subtle?_

"How many are left?" I asked the red head.

_We were in for the kill._

"You, me, and one of the blondes are left. The guys have three left also. Six players in counting."

"Good." I smiled, "I like those odds. Now lets get in their and show them that the girls can roar."

"I want the kid." Blondie said, "He shot my sister."

"Fine." I shrugged, "And I want the British one."

"To be honest, I'm going to shoot any neon blue guy I see." The red head said annoyed, "but at least I know who no one is going after. Once he's gone, I'm not making any promises."

Jenny smiled, "Since that's settled, lets get this round started."

*Xander*

We were let back in for round two and second time around, the game was more intimidating. Ms. Calendar and Giles were mad at each other,  _hopefully over competitive issues,_  and now I had blondie wishing a bloody vengeance on me in revenge for her sister. Our final players for the guys were Giles, some random Mexican named jose, and me. Alexander Harris. To the sound of the buzzer, it was Game on!

I ran with Jose, using him as cover as we daringly made no hesitation running to the girls side of the field. Giles was more careful than us. He stuck himself against walls and went in an opposite direction.

"Hey I see one!" Jose whispered in my ear, "it's the blonde."

"Leave her to me Jose. Take higher ground. Get out of here." I urged, "This could be messy. And by messy I mean green."

"Good luck hombre." He said taking off and leaving me to fence for myself.

I kneeled down and looked carefully around the corner. I saw her blonde hair just as she disappeared. "Fast kitty!"

I looked down at the ground and noticed that my shoe was untied. I debated whether if I should take the chance. Just a couple of loops and a tight little pull and I'm back in the game. It's probably better to tie my shoe rather than to trip on it later. I quickly put my gun in my arm so it pointed behind me, and I quickly tied my shoe.  _Loop and loop. Pull! And my shoes are looking cool! I guess spongebob does teach you something..._

"Ah-hah!" Said blondie from behind me.

"Ahhhh!" I screamed dropping the gun at my side and putting my hands in the air.

 _Click!_  The gun went off but I didn't feel the embrace of any throbbing paint ball. I looked around and heard the girl yell behind me.

"Ouch!"

I turned around to see that my gun had shot her in the stomach. Green paintball paint was all across the front of her padding and I was shocked.

"Oh my goodness! I am so sorry!" I said getting to my feet and walking toward her, "Are you all right?"

"I can't believe you got me out!" She hissed.

 _Out?_  Then it dawned on me,  _Oh! Right! We're playing paintball!_

"Well," I ran back to my gun, and picked it up in my arms, "Tell your sister I said hello..."

I left the girl in her fury and went back to join in on the game. Time to see how the other teammates are doing.

*Giles*

I heard two girls scream but only one shot so I figure either way, it was a point for our team. I quickly went back to the space where I had found Jenny last time. She stayed close to the girls starting point so I figured she must have found a place to hide or else she would have fanned out like the others.

I heard someone running behind me, so I ducked behind a wall and waited for the person to go by. I was only interested in one person.  _No one else should distract me before I get to her... and no one else will kill me but her. However, I doubt that will happen. I'm confident that I will be the one that gets the first sh-_

_Click!_

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain against my head. My head began buzzing. I took off my helmet and laid myself lower to the floor. I was practically laying on my back. Only my head was up straight while it leaned against the wall. I held my hands firm against my head until the buzzing sound disappeared. I looked at the helmet in my lap and saw green paint shattered all around it.

_But... I thought the girls had yellow paint._

I looked up when I saw a figure standing over me. The strobe lights were able to reveal to me that the person standing above me was Xander.

"Giles I am so sorry! I thought you were a girl! I only saw your helmet!"

"Damn it Xander!"

"It's okay! Remember the rules?" He said helping me to stand up, "A shot that hits you from your same team doesn't count! That's why they gave the boys and girls different colored paintballs so they could tell! You're still in."

"Good," I said putting the helmet back on my head, and aiming my gun at Xander's chest, "That means you're still in."

_Click!_

"AHHHH! Hey! Giles!" Xander shouted at me, "That wasn't very nice!"

"Neither was shooting my head."

"I said sorry!" He exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air angrily.

I shrugged, "Sorry."

Xander tightened his hold on his gun and walked away growling, "No wonder Ms. Calendar's mad at him! He is so competitive! Ouch, that really hurt..."

When Xander said this, I took a moment to realize that I had been some-what harsh. But I couldn't understand what had carried me away...  _Was Xander right? Was it just my competitiveness?_

I thought I heard someone shuffling. I grabbed my gun and turned a couple corners. When I saw a person, I quickly knelt down behind a wall. I soon came to realize, there was no need to worry. It was just Jose. He was setting up his gun as if he were about to shoot at someone.

"Damn it!" I heard a woman curse.

I looked directly across from me and saw Jenny struggling with her gun. The strap had her stuck and she couldn't move. She didn't see Jose, but Jose saw her. In an uncontrollable moment of realization, I remembered the pain I felt when Xander shot my head, and that is what Jose was aiming for on Jenny. I didn't have a moment to loose.

I ran across the field and Jenny looked at me frightened. I pushed her back onto the ground just as Jose shot his paintball. The green paint splattered above us harshly against the wall.

"Hey!" Jenny shouted struggling under me.

We were covered enough by the wall that if Jose wanted to hit us again, he couldn't. The wall was a great blockade. I took a moment to catch my breath.

"What was that for?" She shouted.

I breathed heavily, "He was aiming for your helmet."

"Rupert you are not on my team!"

Jenny was obviously furious with me, and I couldn't blame her. But, the way she struggled under me, I felt the hormonal kick engulf my entire body. I was no longer on the playing field. I was on her field. I decided to play my odds.

"When are you going to learn Jenny?" I asked, bending over putting my nose to her ear, "I'm always on your team."

Jenny stuttered under me. "T-this is a trick. Y-y-your just going to shoot me!"

I knew she was starting to feel it too. The inner tingles. They traveled from my body to hers. I whispered lightly in her ear, "I don't want to shoot you Jenny. I want to stake you."

She bit her lip holding tightly to her gun and letting out a stressed breath of air from behind her teeth. I took my gun and put it by her side so she knew I wouldn't use it, and she looked at me desperately.

"I-I'm supposed to be mad at you." She grieved.

"You should be." I admitted, "Touching you was something new to me Jenny. When I saw that man holding your hand and kissing it... I just couldn't stand the thought of sharing you. And sharing your touch. I'm sorry."

For a long moment she said nothing. She just stared at me. Worlds in her eyes.

"Just kiss me." She whispered.

It didn't make sense to me until I said it. But it was true, after everything that had happened, that's all I was scared of;  _I didn't want to share her. I was selfish and I felt confined to stay that way._

I took the helmet off of my head, and then off of hers. My fingers ran through her hair.

"You have silly helmet hair." she laughed lightly.

I laughed with her, "I know."

My fingers traced down her sweaty face, and I slid my lips into hers again. She tasted sweet, and her lips kissed mine passionately.

*No POV*

"What the...?"

Jose was confused when he saw that his paintball had missed the girl he had been aiming at. Someone from his own team had saved her.

"Jose look out! She's right behind you!" Xander shouted from a distance.

Jose turned around and never saw the girl that shot him. It happened so fast. He felt the pain in his thigh when he was shot, but only saw a flash of red hair when he turned around. He quickly put his gun over his head and shouted, "Deadman!" all the way to the closest exit.

Meanwhile, Xander had caught the attention of the red head. As soon as she shot Jose, she went running after Xander. He gave away his position by yelling, and he was disappointed he couldn't save his friend. Now he was running for his life, as the red head chased after him. Quickly they were unknowingly distancing themselves further and further from their last remaining teammates. Ms. Calendar and Mr. Giles.

*Jenny*

We both laid on the floor behind the wall that I was loving more and more with each passing second.

"You know I heard somewhere that when a female has an orgasm, her whole brain shuts down and she just experiences the pleasure. Men however..." I said while loosening his pants, "When men experience an orgasm, their whole mind becomes alert."

"That sounds very primal." He said pulling the padding off of my jeans.

"How so?"

"Well... it makes sense with the theory of evolution. I mean, when humans started out having sexual intercourse in the vast plains of Africa, someone would always have to be ready to protect their mate from any potential danger. That's usually the males job."

"Sex in the vast plains of Africa?" I laughed at him, "Seriously?"

"I'm just trying to prove a point." He said unzipping my jeans, "Besides, having sexual intercourse in a paintball house isn't exactly civilized."

"I never would have thought I'd see you like this Rupert. Uncivilized, I mean."

He smiled, "I guess I just can't hold it in."

I finally loosened his pants enough and pulled them down to his knees.

"In that case Rupert, I'm counting on you to be firm and strong..." I reached down to grab his swelling erection, "...in both mind and body."

"I can assure you," he pulled my pants and swim suit bottom down to my knees, "I am both of those things."

Holding his shaft in my hand, I could feel his heart beat throbbing through. Our heart beats matched. Everything felt smooth, and ready. My muscles were feeling tender before we even began. Low down tickles turned into bats. The strobe lights exposed how much his green eyes lusted for me just as much as I lusted for him. His features were soft and he almost looked afraid.

I couldn't believe we were doing this, now and here. But I didn't really care. I couldn't. My mind could not wrap around how embarrassing it would be if we got caught. All I could think about was his mouth watering dick satisfying my hard lower cravings. My lower half hurt so badly that I couldn't wait any longer.

"Protect me Rupert," I hummed, "while you fuck me."

Rupert reached at my chest and I heard the velcro rip off as he moved the padding off my chest grabbed my breast under my shirt. He leaned down again, pushing his body against me for a kiss. With my legs, I pushed my opening against his shaft. He felt this and we moaned together,deep into each others ears.

I was so wet, and he was so hard. One of my hands reached out and pulled the velcro off of his chest padding, and moved my hands toward the muscles that held me. I loved feeling his muscles shutter as he pushed himself inside of me repeatedly.

He had trouble grabbing his gun while his hands were shaking violently. I put his helmet on him and his smile widened. I wanted to sit up with him, but I was going under already. His free hand grasped tightly at my hip to keep me still, and he slipped himself inside of me.

I put my hand to my mouth, biting my fingers, but a moan still pulsated through. My eyes felt as if they were popping out of their sockets. Tears began flowing out of one eye.

Rupert looked at me, and I tried to shake my head. It was so hard to focus.

"Rupert look at the danger..." I whispered slowly.

*Rupert*

The expression on her face was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and it happened only when I pleasured her.  _How did she expect me to look away?_  I pulled my eyes away from her, as I too was beginning to feel the tears chasing down my face. It hurt more to look away from Jenny then anything I've ever felt.

_They surely didn't teach this at the watchers council._

I held out my gun in front of me over the wall waiting for someone to come, as I pounded into Jenny again. Her moans wouldn't stop and I wanted nothing more than to quiet her lips with mine. I had muscles tingling that I never even knew I had. Her fingers traced the folds of my chest and arms as they flexed. She was touching me all over with both of her hands, and the only hand I could have against her was around her hip. I pounded into her again to satisfy my hunger, but her cries only made it worse.

_How the hell did Africans do this?_

*Xander*

I chased the red head to the other end of the maze, and she was not only fast, but she had great aim. She missed me, barely scratching my cheek. I was running around hoping to run into Giles as soon as possible. I needed help, all I could do was run and shoot aimlessly behind me. I was hoping he wasn't already out.

"Giles!" I shouted.

He didn't respond. I kept running. I before I knew it, I was going around in a circle. I was standing exactly where Jose was shot. I froze, I turned around and saw the red head looking directly at me.

"Gotcha!" She laughed.

 _Splatter!_ A green paintball had gotten her on the side. It wasn't from me. It had to be...  _Giles!_

"Impeccable timing Giles!" I breathed.

The red head looked at me in amazement, "How did this...?"

 _Splatter!_  Before I realized it, a yellow paintball had flew between the red head and me. It blasted on the wall painting it a new shade of neon yellow.

 _Splatter!_  The next yellow paintball was shot and aimed at me. I felt the pinch on my leg. I fell to my knees in a moment of pain and also to duck for cover.

_Darn that Ms. Calendar!_

I looked over and all I saw was Giles's head popping out from over a wall. He was looking at me with remorse in his features.

"You can do it Giles!" I shouted, "Get her good for me!"

The red head helped me up from the floor. She now had a friendly smile in her features. I wasn't expecting that. But I guess that when the stress of the game disappears, it's easier to be yourself. We quickly ran out of the building with our guns over our heads. I followed her out to the other dead team members. All that was left was Ms. Calendar and Mr. Giles.

The others met us with an intriguing stare.

"Who's left?"

The red head spoke, "The old man..."

"British man." I corrected her. _I was the only one that could call him old._

"The British man and his girlfriend." She restated.

"Didn't they get into a fight earlier?" Jose asked, "I heard them yelling at each other before round 2 started."

"That they did my amigo." I said putting my arm around his shoulder.

"This is war!"

*Jenny*

"Ahh!"

Now that Rupert and I were alone in the building, I was free to moan without holding back. Rupert handed me back my gun.

"Thanks for letting me barrow it."

"My hero..." I said out of breath feeling sweaty.

"I'd fight thousands for your love." He said pressing against me finally for a kiss. Suddenly my insides collapsed. I was vibrating and I felt the same happening for Rupert. He was about to roar, and I pulled him against my ear so I could hear it loud and clear. Both of our orgasms exploded at the same time. We surrendered our bodies into each other. Gasping for breath and being even more stimulated by the feel of his skin molding against me.

_Click._

When both Rupert and I opened our eyes again out of breath, I noticed a neon yellow paint splattered over the both of us. My hand was still on the gun, and in the exhilaration of the orgasm, I accidentally pulled the trigger. However, Rupert never cried in pain, so he must not have felt it. He smiled and I smiled with him.

The game was over. The buzzer rang again signaling that it had been another ten minutes.

*No POV*

Rupert helped pull Jenny up and they both quickly fixed their own clothing. They fixed their padding and zipped up their pants. As soon as they finished, they both walked out of the building hand in hand; Jenny held her gun up in the air signaling her success! The girls hooted and ran up to Jenny.

Rupert let her celebrate as he walked up to the disappointed men. He could care less that they were bummed. He couldn't feel more pleasured.

"You lost to a girl Giles?" Jose asked.

"No way Jose!" Xander said giving Giles a reassuring smile, "I know what you did!"

Giles features turned to fear, "Y-y-you do?"

"Giles let her win so they wouldn't be fighting any more! Am I right Giles? Tell Jose I'm right."

Giles relaxed, "Yea, something like that."

"Oh! You may not have won the game, but you won the señorita!" Jose said nodding his head in approval, "Very rico suave..."

"So you up for finishing that walk on the beach?" Xander asked, "The only hot babes I've seen have tried to kill me. I get enough of that in Sunnydale. I'd much rather enjoy the non-violent people for a little while."

Giles smiled, "Of course. Let's go."

They all returned their gear and said good-bye to their acquaintances. Xander was greatly appreciative that his two favorite teachers had so quickly mended their issues and became so cuddly again.

"Congrats Ms. C!" Xander chimed, "Now wasn't paintball a great way to spend your birthday... a day late?"

Rupert's arm slid around her waist as the walked onto the sand. She smiled, "It was definitely birthday worthy. I wish we could play it again and again and again and-"

Rupert coughed, "Yes. I-I think Xander gets the picture."

"And what a picture I see!"

Rupert and Jenny looked over at Xander who had his attention pointed at a couple of girls walking by in their bathing suits. He stopped, drooled, and watched as Jenny and Rupert walked around him.

"I don't want this visit to end." Jenny admitted.

"There will always be another visit. And I don't always have to bring him. It's not like it is going to be good-bye forever."

"With you Rupert, it always feels that way."

"Jenny I won't be able to stand being without you for too long. Part of me wants to send Xander back home on the bus, but I can't. I can't go home and I can't stay here. I'll call you everyday. I can visit you every now and again. When we distance ourselves too far apart, I promise you that I will always find a way to contact you."

"I'm here now." Jenny smiled, "Just ask me for my love while we are still together."

Rupert looked down at Jenny and slipped his hand into hers, "Dance with me tonight?"

The blue sky was beginning to melt into the sunset while yellow and orange clouds painted the horizon. Most of the crowd on the beach had dispersed, except for a few people that still enjoyed the warm air. Rupert and Jenny had molded silently into each others arms. She felt comfortable as she wrapped herself into his chest. With closed eyes, she took pleasure in the fact that they had come so far. And that they remembered...  _everything_. Rupert took Jenny's hand and held her close to him. He pressed his nose lightly against her cheek and hummed a tune that his heart was singing. He did not know what the tune was, only that he could make it up easily as he went along. Step by step, the sun set peacefully around them and Xander just stood from a distance watching them. From a distance, they looked safe in each others arms. They also looked like they needed a brake. Since Jenny came back... or maybe even while she was alive, the world has shaken them up every chance it could. Now here they were: recuperating and replenishing themselves until the world decides throwing them another curve-ball. For now they are safe and just trying to relax.

Rupert got a little creative, and spun Jenny twice. She laughed. She got a little creative herself and spun back into his arms but so her back was against his chest. He put his hands on her waist and illuminated as her hips wiggled in his hands. She put her hands behind and over her head to reach around Rupert's neck. He continued humming as he kissed the sides of her arms. She turned lightly to the side to look at him, and with one hand, he traced down her back, around her ass and Jenny tilted her head back as his hand traveled to her knee. Rupert held the back of her knee against him, and she dipped as he pulled her in half a circle. Jenny laughed, and when Rupert let go of her knee, she jokingly did the same to him knowing it would get him to fall on his ass.

Rupert fell, as she expected and they laughed together as she fell over him. Their eyes sparkled in the remaining lights of sunset and they were like two beautiful diamonds. Jenny was a diamond that belonged to Rupert and Rupert was a diamond that belonged to Jenny. It was a strong bond between them, and they both felt that they were harboring something beautiful. Like a diamond.

With Rupert laying on his back, and Jenny sitting over him, she finally pulled her shirt up and over her head so Rupert could see her swim suit. He used his fingers to trace her skin around her bikini top. It was the American flag; a dark blue color decorated with stars on one breast and the other was covered in red and white stripes. White straps tied the suit around her neck and hooked it around her back.

She stood over Rupert and he watched her carefully, admiring every move her half naked body made. She unzipped her jeans and let the pants fall around her ankles. Her bottoms were different. She had the British flag stamped on her front and back. Rupert covered his mouth with one hand dying to laugh. He had taken Jenny's pants of earlier but it was to dark to notice that she was wearing his emblem. He loved it.

"I have our homes represented on each end." she smiled turning around so he could admire her ass.

"I thought you were Romanian." Rupert clarified.

"I am, but I was born in America. You didn't know that?" She asked confused, "I thought you knew I was an American since our date at the football game?"

"I did believe you were. But after I found out that you had been lying to us, I thought you had made it up. I thought you were using it as your cover."

"No. I was born here. I didn't lie to you about my home. I just lied about my intentions."

He looked at Jenny quizzically, "Romanians live in America?"

"Do you seriously need a history lesson?" Rupert nodded his head, and Jenny fell beside him in the sand, "Gypsies are nomads. They move a lot. During World War Two, the Kalderash tribe lived in Germany but to escape the Nazi's, a big chunk of them came to America and the others went back home to Romania. My grandparents moved our family to America, and I was born and raised in California. Ileana and her family went back to Romania, and she rebuilt our government. She's head of the Kalderash now, and respected by all. She still rules over the Kalderash that moved to America. And that's me. Born and raised in California by my uncle."

"I guess it makes sense that you're not European. Only Americans can annoy me so much."

"Annoy?" She asked confused.

He looked at her to clarify, "You know how long I've been waiting to see you in your new suit?"

"You know how long I've been waiting for you to help me out of it?" Jenny giggled resting her head on her hand.

Rupert reached out and touched Jenny's skin. His hand traced from her ribs to her hips and back again. He loved how his flag was wrapped around her bikini bottom. He felt it was Jenny's way of saying her vagina had been claimed. And thankfully claimed by him and his English pride. Jenny smiled. She knew he would enjoy it.

Just then, Xander finally came back to meet them. He had already changed into his new red trunks.

"Hey you two! Giles your turn to change. There is a restroom just over there for you to change in. And Ms. Calendar... may I barrow you for assistance in making a royal sand castle?"

"Sure!" She said standing to her feet and following him closer to shore.

Rupert watched them walk away and admired the love he felt surrounded in. Nothing had been more perfect than this moment, and just being with Jenny. Given a second chance to be with the one woman he loved, every moment with her felt more important than ever. Everything felt more important than before because now he knew what it was like to lose her, and not to say everything he could have, or missing out on all that could have been done, and wasting every glance to her direction that he could have taken because he would have deeply missed the simplest sight, such as her smile or laugh. He knew what it meant to loose her, which made having her all the more special.

*Xander*

I was trying my best to keep my eyes off of Ms. C and was having a rather difficult time. Seeing a teacher in this manner just felt awkward, and a hott teacher that was taken by my dear friend Giles made it all the more uncomfortable. Giles was so lucky, but I think he knew that already. I mean, how did the school librarian find an attractive woman to dig him? The "twosome of cuteness" was a title that fit them so naturally. It was weird. In my mind, I couldn't picture Giles with an attractive woman yet I could picture him with Ms. Calendar. It didn't make sense, but it did.

Ms. Calendar and I built our sand castle, getting wet every time the tide would raise high enough to wet our toes. It made me sad that this was my last night with Ms. Calendar until the next full moon. I was going to miss her, but I would be glad to know that she is helping our hunt to find Buffy. I ached for Buffy more than anything else in the world. I missed her, and no one was really sure if she was okay.

Soon Giles joined us.

"Ah... here comes the king." Ms. Calendar said while checking out Giles.

I looked away severely uncomfortable with how intimate they were with each other around me.  _Who do they think they are to be flaunting their love in public? Teenagers? ...Cause you know their hormones give them an excuse to be oblivious to their public affections._

"If I'm the king, then that must make you the queen."

"And I your royal jester of Sandalot." I added.

I would have previously gone with Sir. Knight Harris, however after certain events of the day, I feel more compelled to prove that I was not their son. And would never be related to them. If they were King and Queen of Sandalot, then I would be their clown, and I would pass on pulling any sword from its stone.

The rest of the night turned into "family" bonding moment while we splashed around in water, and actually had a decent time together. It freaked me out afterwards with how much fun we all had.

Giles finally took us back to the hotel. I persuaded Ms. Calendar to let me stay with them for the night because my previous night alone with the evil hound still gave me the wiggins. She didn't have a problem with it. Giles on the other hand was no longer talking to me he was so mad. I know he wanted alone time, but I couldn't be alone another night. Last night was too scary for me. With out Buffy, my life became too frightening.

*Rupert*

Xander was doing fine at first, until he started snoring from the floor. Jenny and I huddled close together under the sheets. We felt the same passion we had felt the night before but were forced to be silent because Xander was sleeping in the room with us. Instead of going an entire night ignoring her body, I sucked on her neck and messaged her tender sides. She fell asleep quickly while I messaged her. Carefully, while she slept, I slipped her jeans off of her because I imagine they were uncomfortable for her in bed. Next, I slipped my hand under her bikini and rested my open palm over her smooth pussy. With my nose pressed against her cheek, I swear I felt her smile. She was warm, and I fell asleep quickly and happily with her in my arms.

I was sleeping soundly for hours until I felt the bed shaking. I woke up and saw Xander making his way on the bed, and wiggling his way in between Jenny and I. Jenny must have waken up too because she tapped my hand under the blankets reminding me where it was. I slipped my hand out of her bikini and rolled away so Xander could crawl between us without realizing exactly how close we were. He laid on top of the blankets for the rest of the night, separating Jenny and I as we slept. I wanted to kill him.

When he started snoring in my ear, I almost did.

*Jenny*

I woke up early the next morning feeling the sun shining on my face. I looked at the open window and saw Giles sitting on the floor looking out across the way. His chin rested against the window seal, and his hair was all over the place as if he had just woken up. After taking a while to admire him, I finally stepped out of bed, and slid my jeans back on in case Xander woke up from the other side of the bed that he desperately fought for. I took a blanket from the bed and placed it over Rupert's back as I crawled to sit beside him on the floor.

He looked at me with an endearing smile, and I kissed him lightly on the cheek. He took me under his arms and wrapped the blanket tightly around the both of us as we both looked out my window.

"How did you sleep?" I finally whispered.

He swiped his hand through his hair, "If Xander hadn't joined us in the middle of the night, I probably would have gotten some."

"He probably had a nightmare."

"Or probably just wants to be a pain in my a-"

"Rupert, Xander was alone last night with Damian. He's just a little shaken up. If I were him, I wouldn't want to be alone either."

"I know." Rupert's lips traced my cheek, "I was just hoping to have one last night with you... and that wasn't exactly what I expected."

I smiled looking at him, "Well, hopefully this wasn't your last visit. And we can have many more nights that meet your expectations."

"I don't want to leave." His stare was focused across the street, "Not unless you can come with me."

"I can't until-"

"Buffy... I know." He looked over at me with despair in his eyes, "Why not? Buffy can look after herself. Or we can just talk to her, and bring her with us?"

"She may not want to go Rupert. We talked about this."

"But Jenny, it is not fair." I rested against his chest yawning, and he looked out the window again at Buffy's room across the street, "I feel like a child fighting for your attention. I just want you both home. This is ridiculous. Buffy does not need time to be alone. She needs her friends. She needs someone to talk to."

"You may be right." I shrugged, "But Buffy doesn't feel she's ready to come back home yet and if we force her, we can't be sure that she wont run away again. Let her get it out of her system now, so when she finally decides to come home, its permanent. We need to be patient. It's going to take time."

"How much time Jenny?"

"As much as she needs."

Rupert huffed in frustration as he held me under the blanket. I tried to remember every touch of his as he held me against him, because I wasn't going to be able to wake up and feel this every morning. It was going to be hard, and I could understand why Rupert was mad, but it was something that had to be done. Buffy needed me to look out for her, and she needed time to recover. Patience was important as it was difficult.

"When are you going to tell her you are alive?"

I froze, not expecting that question. I thought about it, and shook my head, "Rupert I can't tell her. I can't."

"Surely one day you can..."

"That day is not soon." I admitted, "She ran away because Angel is dead. If I had never found the cure, then the right person would be suffering in hell. But the Angel with a soul is suffering and she is going to know that is my fault. I can not tell her that i am alive because she will hate me and I can't take it. I may never have the chance to tell her I'm alive. She may never know. I will always feel guilty for what I did, and I do not feel I deserve to be her friend. I'm sorry Rupert... but I don't feel I can ever tell her."

"You're just like them." Xander added sounding groggy from the bed, "You take vengeance on yourself, then that makes you no different from the gypsies."

I looked back at Xander worried with how much he heard but Rupert shook his head signaling that he was sure Xander just woke up. "It doesn't matter. No one can talk to Buffy right now anyway. We don't even know where she is."

"But when she gets back...?" Xander asked.

"I don't know."

"And don't tell Willow or Oz or Cordelia. Okay?" Rupert yelled at Xander, "Jenny isn't ready to let everyone know she is alive yet. But when she is, she will let you know."

"But no one is going to be mad at her Giles! She doesn't get that!"

I looked down at the floor and tried to hold back the tears wanting to escape.

"It doesn't matter Xander!" Rupert spat, "You may be right but we are going to do what Jenny wants. She needs some time."

"Why, she didn't do anything!"

"Xander go to the car! Now!" Rupert shouted.

"Rupert..." I looked at him, "It's fine."

He ignored me, and stood up. Xander looked at him frightened and hurried off of the bed. Rupert followed him outside into the hallway. I stayed sitting and cried as I watched Buffy walk by her window.

*Rupert*

"Over react much Giles?" Xander said sleepily, "You know I'm just trying to convince Ms. Calendar that she didn't do anything."

"Xander you are helping no one! These are hard times, and a lot has happened. If you go poking at the past, Jenny is going to do the same thing as Buffy! She is going to run away and I can't live with out her! You know she didn't do anything, and I know she didn't do anything but Jenny won't believe that until she learns it on her own!"

"You are the one who asked when she was going to tell Buffy!"

"That's because I want her home Xander. I don't want to hide her any more than you do, but its more important to me that she doesn't run away. You have to be careful what you say to her, her mind is delicate, and she is fragile. If you say anything to her that makes her disappear from us again, then I swear to you Xander Harris that I will never forgive you!" I looked at him hastily and after a moment of silence, I pointed down the hallway, "Now go to the car."

"Don't I get to say good-bye?" he asked.

I shook my head, "You've said enough."

His eyes filled with regret but he didn't move his feet.

I continued, "I'll bring your things to the car and I'll tell her you said good-bye."

"Okay." Xander choked as if he was going to cry. He turned around and walked to the car. I turned around myself and rejoined Jenny in the room.

"I'm sorry about Xander." I pleaded sitting beside her again, "He wanted to tell you good-bye."

"You're leaving?" She asked crying.

I looked down at her and had noticed that she had been crying hard for some time. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her desperately. I didn't want to leave either.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

I knew the question was pointless but I had to ask anyway.

"I have to watch Buffy." She explained.

"I understand." I choked. My throat was sour as I had to hold in my cries, "Promise me that while I'm gone that you will consider what Xander said. You shouldn't feel responsible for anything that happened."

"But I did!" She cried, "Rupert I almost ended the world!"

"No you didn't. What Angel did was not your fault."

"It wasn't Angel." She held me tighter, "It was me! You told me the secret of how to pull the sword from Acathla."

I froze wondering how she knew about that, "No... that, that was Drusilla."

She shook her head chocking on her words, "I helped her. It was by accident. I found out I had powers and I wanted to help. Someone was helping me, he called himself The Whistler, and he told me not to use my power unless I was sure my purpose was pure. There was one moment when I let thoughts out of hand. You needed me because you were in so much pain and I was afraid you were going to die. I remember thinking that I just wanted it all to be over. I was scared and I just wanted everything to stop. When I used my power again, I was taken over by the thought of wanting it all to end. I possessed Drusilla instead of you, and then I made you believe you could trust me. You told me how to make it all stop. I'm the reason Drusilla found out Angel needed his own blood to pull the sword and end the world."

I held Jenny's crying body in my arms and I looked at her wishing she would stop, "Jenny it is over now. There is nothing to cry about. The world did not end. We are safe together." I breathed in one last scent of her hair and pondered what she said, "What power do you have?"

"I can take away people's pain. I can be a second entity in their body and instead of them feeling the pain, I feel it."

I recalled feeling stronger than I should have when Angelus tortured me. I remember not feeling any pain when it should have been magnified. If what Jenny was saying was true, then that meant Angelus tortured both me and Jenny. I held her delicate body in my arms and was suddenly glad that his demon was suffering in hell. Suffering where he belonged.

"Can you show me?" I asked whispering the words in her hair.

She looked up at me worried. I don't think she wanted to but then she changed her mind for a reason I couldn't understand. She closed her eyes and relaxed in my arms. I waited, unsure of what she was doing.

Suddenly, it was like a fresh breeze had blown over me. It's a feeling that could easily be ignored and unnoticed. However, since I was paying attention to Jenny, I felt her presence unravel inside of me. I looked down at the body in my arms and she was unconscious. Almost like if she was sleeping. I listened to my body carefully and could hear her breathing. My breath was becoming hers, and my heart beat was mimicking hers as well.

_Relax your arm._

She whispered thoughts into me and I felt warm with her delight. I followed her command and when I relaxed my hand, I could feel her moving it. Her giggles echoed inside of my head as she used my hand to slide down my pants. Scared, I pulled my hand out of my pants and she continued giggling. I could control my hand when ever I wanted, but when I relaxed my arm, I put it under her control. It was a hard idea to get used to. But she was right. When Jenny was inside me, I felt no pain. I felt so relaxed that I could probably fall back asleep again without feeling the bruises on my back from where Xander kicked me through out the night.

Like a sudden kick to the gut, I lost my breath and I could feel Jenny leaving my body. I watched as her body slowly came back to life. She coughed a few times to catch her own breath and then looked up at me in worry.

"Jenny thats extraordinary!" I admitted, "Did the whistler tell you why you were given such powers?"

"He said I was an... well, what he called me isn't important. He was wrong anyway. But he did say that I was destined to take care of the slayer. That is the reason I came back. I'm supposed to be the slayers... uh..."

"Guardian angel." Everything began to click in my mind, "Jenny you're an angel!"

"Don't call me that!"

"But you are! You watch over Buffy, and you are given extraordinary powers to take away pain! How can you say you're not?"

"Because I almost ended the world!"

I held her quietly remembering what I had been yelling at Xander for this morning. I was doing the same. Poking at the past. It was difficult not to when Jenny believed so strongly that she was responsible.

I cradled her in my arms not wanting to leave her like this, "Jenny, I don't know why you believe there is not blame to share. I mean, I told you about the blood on Angelus's hand and I shouldn't have even done that. I knew it but I did it anyway. I'm sure Spike and Drusilla have some blame as well. They were the ones that helped raise Acathla. Sweetie, we all make mistakes when we are trying to the save the world and we are always going to. It's not the first time we've almost ended the world and it won't be the last. Your fault or not, I think you should start to understand that Buffy and I are not perfect either. We both have our share to blame for this as well."

Jenny didn't say anything. She sat in my arms thinking about what I said. Both of us just looked out the window and watched as Buffy passed the window. When she did, my heart quickened.

Slowly I stood from my spot, and Jenny followed me up. I gave her a huge hug and held her tight for a long time.

"Promise me that you will be here when I get back. You will be healthy, and you will be here."

"Why would I run away?" She asked.

"Just promise me." I said desperately, "I just never in my life time want to lose you again. I need to know that you will not go anywhere without informing me first."

"I promise."

"Good." With that I kissed her on the cheek and she pulled me toward her again. She started making out with me and pushed me against the door. I held her small body against me growing more and more unwilling to let go. But I had to. It was time to return home.

"I love you." I breathed against her skin.

"And I love you." She repeated holding onto my waist and slowly letting her hands fall.

I opened the door and looked back to steal one last glance at my girl, "I'll be back soon. I promise."

She nodded. And then I closed the door and left. Small tears escaped my eyes and I wiped them away before meeting Xander back in the car. From Los Angeles, we drove back to Sunnydale. Or more accurately, I was driving from away from heaven and into hell.


	37. Dreams, Nightmares & Muffins

*Rupert*

"I'm Sorry."

"No Xander, thats not enough! Don't you understand how awkward it was when you crawled on the bed! What were you thinking?"

The entire car ride was like this. Continuous bickering.

"Clearly at two o'clock in the morning I wasn't thinking."

"Clearly you're never thinking."

I quickly slammed my hand against the car radio to shut it off after Xander had changed the station to some ridiculous vibrating noise that the newer generations disapprovingly called music.

Xander shifted in his seat disappointed, "I had a nightmare."

_Damn. Jenny was right. She's always right._

"About Dot? Damian... what ever his name is...?" I say trying to calm down.

"Yea. I mean, sort of. It was more about Ms. Calendar."

I quivered lightly remembering my recent nightmares concerning Jenny. I used to have them all the time after she died. They were bad. I woke up gasping for breath, or in tears, and even grasping onto pillows desperately as if my life depended on it. Suddenly Xander and I shared a common fear.

Xander continued,  _although I really wish he wouldn't._

"I was the one chained to the wall. I suffered everything he put her through. I was scared. When I woke up, I was thankful it was only a dream. Then I looked at Ms. Calendar and remembered it wasn't."

My grip tightened around the steering wheel. I was usually charged when I argued with Xander, but what ever energy I previously had for arguing, had vanished completely.

"Never do it again." Was all I could manage to say.

He nodded in return, "I'll never invade your bed space again... Can we pretend I never said that?"

"I pretend you don't say a lot of things."

I turned the radio back on so he could listen to his  _thrilling_ vibrating noises and to tune him out while I drove.

Revisiting the memory of Jenny saving my skin from Damian made the air around me freeze. My heart beat slowed and drops of sweat began to form over my brows. Jenny was so brave for some one so fragile. It took all the will power I had to not turn the car around and run back to her like the powerless being I really was.

Xander turned down the music, and rested his hand on my shoulder. I hadn't noticed until then that my breathing was very erratic.

"Hey... Giles, are you okay?"

*Jenny*

I couldn't stop myself from going up to Xander's old checked-out room. Events of the past fews days hadn't caught up with me yet. I was still trying to make sense of the new memories I didn't even realize I once had. Maybe going up to the room was my way of closing up a gap in time that hardly made sense to me. However, I was unaware of how looking at one big empty room could make sense of something that didn't. Despite knowing it was a useless attempt, I went anyway. It was better than the lonliness left by Rupert in my big empty room.

Caution tape fanned criss-cross on the door, which I ignored as I pushed the door open. It was already unlocked. Probably from some recent clean-up session since the room was looking like new. The room was too clean. I stood in the doorway a brief moment as I adjusted to the difference. The last time I had seem the room, it was now where near the condition it is now. Walls were plastered an immaculate white, and the carpet had been cleansed... at least, they tried anyway. I walked closer to a light pink puddle stain in the middle of the room. I fell to my knees beside it, and traced my fingers over the stain lightly. It was the only indication in the room that proved the fight had really happened. It was the only reminder in the room that prevented me from believing it all could have just been a dream.

My fingers began tracing over the stain more harshly. I was rubbing the surface desperately as tears dribbled down my cheeks. I tried. I kept trying to remove Ralph's blood stain from the carpet but it wouldn't even fade. The discoloration in the pale carpet was not allowing me from turning this violent memory into just a nightmare. Unreal. Never happened. But I couldn't rub hard enough to make that come true.

"Not even the carpet cleaners the janitors used could get it out Jenny." Said a voice despairingly.

I jumped not realizing that someone else was in the room. I whipped away my tears and turned around to see my company. When I saw who it was, the air was still. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. But I could do neither. Carefully I studied his eyes. He jumped when he had realized he had caught my attention.

"Woah!" he said backing away, "You can see me?"

"Ralph?" I stood up from the floor, "You're alive?"

"No actually, I'm not..." Ralph studied me carefully, "You can really see me?"

"You're a ghost?"

"Yea... About that, you can see me?"

"Yes Ralph, I can see you!" I managed a little frustrated.

He gave a short crazed laughter that faded into silence. We just stood across from each other and studying our every breath. We examined each other carefully.

"Sorry," he finally said, "You're just the only one thats been able to see me."

"Where have you been?" I panicked still unable to understand, "Why are you a ghost? Why didn't you come find me?"

He laughed at my numerous questions, "I woke up like this shortly after I died, and I quickly learned that I'm incapable of leaving this room. I've been here watching the cleaning crew all night. None of them saw, or heard me. However, I have no idea why I'm a ghost... usually ghosts exist because they still have a purpose."

He walked around me and lingered over the spot on the carpet where his blood stained. I walked to his side trying to put a hand on his shoulder but it went right through him.

"What's your purpose?" I continued looking up at him with watery eyes.

He looked down at me and smiled, "Would you prefer me dead?"

"I'm just trying to understand." I shook my head whipping the tears from my eyes, "I am really glad that I get to see you again."

I had the urge to hug him, but I quickly remembered I couldn't. We stood beside each other awkwardly, and moved our gaze to the blood stain.

"You're the only person that can see me Jenny." He continued, "What do you think my purpose is?"

"You're asking me?"

"My purpose must have something to do with you. You're the only one who can see me. Besides, you must have came here for a reason."

I crossed my arms over my chest and finally looked away from the blood stain, "Actually I came here wishing to find out that none of this ever happened."

Ralph tried to comfort me by putting his hand on my shoulder but his hand went right through me. I forced a smile at him to show the attempt was still appreciated. Disappointed, he put his arms back at his sides and his watered eyes looking helpless.

"How do you think I feel?" He continued, "My brother killed me..."

"Did you know he was the dog that had been following us around?" When I said this, I noticed him tense, "The homeless one that lived outside of the hospital for a while...?"

His breathing was heavy as he spoke.

"How could I not have seen that coming?" He growled walking away from me. He glanced out his hotel window, and suddenly launched his anger from his foot to the wall. This temporarily revealed the forcefield keeping Ralph stuck within the room. He slowly turned around again to face me. His hand ran through his hair viciously, "He learned transfiguration from the same gypsies that are rumored to have given Dracula his powers. He was the mutt that took the fucking vengeance demon necklace away from me!"

"Shhh!" I ran up to him, and placing my fingers in front of his lips, "Don't curse! You can still go to heaven!"

"Are you kidding?" he shooed my hand away, "Jenny, I appreciate your sympathy but I doubt it. I was a gypsy that willingly worshiped vengeance for many years."

"Yea, you were. Then you turned against them remember? You were a doctor saving lives. You died saving my life."

"That's not enough."

I shook my head and his hopeless eyes watched me fluidly, imploring for his old life; something I could not give him.

"Maybe that's why you're a ghost Ralph. You still have a chance to redeem yourself."

He was about to protest, but then changed his mind. It was almost as if some small light of hope flickered in his eyes. He seemed to be considering it.

"Oh. You have a point there. Forgive me higher beings!"

Ralph looked over at me and smiled as I laughed at him. Before I knew it, he was sad again and frowned at his feet. His handsome features were being wasted by sadness as he towered over me wearing his thick pea-coat.

*Ralph*

Watching Jenny laugh reminded me that I was still in love with her. I doubted that being in love with a woman that was already taken by a great man like Rupert was going to earn me a ticket into heaven. I surely bought myself a one way ticket to the gates of hell for that fluke in my pathetic existence.

_That among other things..._

"Jenny, there is something I need to tell you."

She looked at me quizzically.

"I'm the one that made the wish about you and Rupert. The one that made you guys forget ever finding each other alive again. I was drunk and I had no idea that I was talking to a vengeance demon. I know that's a petty defense because I still should have told you sooner. I just couldn't stand the thought of you angry with me again. I was going to break the spell as soon as I found out it was made but that fuc- ... that dog, my brother... he took the necklace."

She looked away and blinked a couple times trying to soak in the information. Sooner than I ever thought possible, she met my gaze again with a smile. I focused on her smile wondering if it really could be a frown. Her shoulders shrugged my comment away.

"It's okay Ralph, Damian broke the necklace. Rupert and I remember everything now. Besides, there was a loop hole in your wish. Xander knew I was alive and he was unaffected by the wish. He brought Rupert and I back together again before Damian broke the wish."

I looked at her shocked, " _It's okay?_ Jenny, you're supposed to be furious with me. You and Rupert, eternal love, and I separated you guys..."

"If you were alive... I might be. But I can't be mad at you Ralph. You're dead. You saved my life." Her sniffles forced her to looked out the window and avoid my gaze. She wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her arms loosely, "Besides, I know what it's like to want to change the past. "

I wanted nothing more than to comfort her. Throw my arms around her and tell her that every thing is going to be okay, but I physically couldn't. Besides, the words coming from a dead guy wouldn't be all that convincing either. I walked away from the bright suns glare through the window and rested against another wall in the house that wouldn't be so blinding.

Apparently some of the walls in this dank hotel room couldn't support me either. As soon as I tried to lean against the wall, I fell through it and hit hard on the floor. I looked around and noticed that when I fell, half of me was in the restroom, and my legs were showing on the other side of the wall, in the room with Jenny. I sat up quickly and Jenny looked at me laughing again.

Her gorgeous smile allowed her laughs to be pulsating through and it was a sight I would always remember about her. I soaked in her image. It was wrong to be in love with her, I knew that. I was trying. She made it hard. I missed her. I missed her even more knowing that I'd never see her again. The thought was killing me, ripping me apart. She was beautiful when she laughed.

_And I had to remember to stop making her do that._

"Go ahead, laugh at the dead guy, it's cool." I struggled back to my feet as she tried to hide her laughter, "but enough about me. What about you? How have you been? I haven't seen you since you guys stopped the apocalypse..."

"I'm sorry I took off that night." She recalled looking at her shoes, "So much happened that night and I just couldn't handle it. Buffy apparently had the same idea I did and I followed her before she took off. She came here to Los Angeles and I'm looking over her. She just still doesn't know I'm alive."

 _I had just finished mending Jenny's wounds at the hospital, the night they prevented an apocalypse, and she left the room to use the restroom. I waited for her to come back, but she never did. She took off,_ and now I understood why.

_I knew she was watching over Buffy somewhere._

"Well, I'm glad you're safe. I was worried about you."

_I'm always worried about you._

I hesitated before I continued, "Forgive my geek-fest but being one of the biggest mid-evil time nerds, I have to know what went down with Acathla."

"That's right, you were the Acathla nerd." she smiled, but only half way, "If it wasn't for you I would have had no idea what we were dealing with." She sighed rubbing her forehead, "Well, Angelus pulled the sword out of Acathla, Buffy kicked his butt, Angelus was cured and returned his soul, and then Buffy was forced to kill him to save the world. Acathla just closed up and is probably still sitting in the mansion."

"And that's why you ran away?" I asked starting to understand, "You thought it was your fault."

_It wasn't a hard guess. She thought everything was her fault._

"How is it not my fault?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head disapprovingly, "The world doesn't revolve around you Ms. Calendar. You are not the reason the earth rotates. Not everything happens because of you. However, I already know that no one can convince you otherwise because, you're big round rump is so conceited..."

"Am not!" She demanded, "You're not even trying to earn your way into heaven, are you!"

"Aren't I?" I shrugged, "I'm not cursing. Plus I'm not lying."

I saw her beginning to become seriously angered with me, and I still decided to push my luck a little farther. I looked up at the ceiling, "Send me to hell! Let lightning strike me down now if this is not true: Everything that happened between Angel and Buffy was not Jenny's fault!"

I waited in silence, and when nothing happened I looked back at Jenny.

"I bet my life... wait, I don't have one... I bet my soul on it Jenny, my eternal existence that you are not to blame. And if you were, then I wouldn't want to go to heaven in a world where the innocent beautiful people like you are punished for no good reason. You're innocent and trying to prove yourself guilty."

"I'm not-"

"You. Are."

*Jenny*

I wanted to cry. He thought so highly of me and I was no one worth admiring. He doesn't know me, and he has no idea of all that I've done...  _or maybe he does, but he clearly doesn't understand. It seems like no one does._

Ralph and I jumped as bright lights, like lightening, had suddenly struck all around the room. The sight of it looked familiar and my breathing became quickly erratic. Ralph looked around nervously. We watched until the light show was over. I looked around and Ralph caught my attention. He was pointing at another figure in the center of the room.

"Holy hell! Damian?" He shouted.

I looked over and saw a puppy crawling slowly to the faded blood stain on the carpet. He moaned. He howled. It was bone chilling. Bowing his head, he began licking the carpet.

I looked over at Ralph, "Told you, you were going to hell."

Suddenly the dog looked up at me. The light from the window revealed how watery the pups eyes were.

"Funny." Ralph said sarcastically.

" _Bark!"_

The dog ran to me. It jumped high into the air, and I thought he would have clawed himself on my shirt. However, mid-air the pup quickly formed into Damian who had already had me pinned to the wall. His hand tight at my throat, I could see and feel his every muscle tense with anger. He was wearing black pants as part of his transformation. His black eyes held fire of fury and he was dripping with sweat. For the first time I realized how much he actually looked like his brother. His breathing was uneven, and I couldn't breathe at all. I felt like he was going to kill me and I panicked.

I was scared.

_I had recently discovered that I had someone to live for._

_My family._

And I didn't want to loose them.

*Rupert*

It was around noon, much later than I had dropped off Xander at his house, and I called in the kids for a quick meeting. They sat around in the library waiting for me to explain why I had brought them here. I was scanning my brain and pulling my thoughts together.

There was too many things to consider. I couldn't understand everything, and I wasn't sure what I should do. So, I finally came up with one conclusion:

"I'm going to England. I will inform the Watchers Council of Buffy's disappearance, and it should take no longer than 5 days to a week," I said looking at the kids, "Depending on what they decide, they will tell us the next best course of action is."

"What?" Xander spat, "Giles we... you just got back!"

"No." Willow interrupted, "This is good! The Watchers Council can help aid us in finding her! It's the slayer and they can't just ignore it..."

I nodded quietly, "Exactly."

"And how many of us are going with you?"Xander looked at me accusingly.

"None. I need all of you to stay here."

"Okay. I get it." Oz said sitting relaxed in his chair, "But what I'm not understanding is if you want us still rocking the graveyards?"

"If you want to. You guys don't have to patrol, but if you do, don't eh, "rock" the graveyards while I'm away. I prefer you patrol the streets and the alleys. And for God's sake don't you dare separate yourselves. Understood? I understand Cordellia has left to Paris..."

"Mexico." Willow corrected.

"Oh. Really? I thought she said she was going to Paris?"

"No she said she  _wanted_ to go to Paris," Xander corrected, "Does not mean her daddy could actually afford it. Nope. She left for Las Palmas in Mexico yesterday and didn't even bother to wait for me to say good-bye. I bet it didn't even cross her mind!"

"Actually she tried calling you, but none of us had your uncles number." Oz said.

_It didn't matter if they had his uncle's number or not. He still wouldn't have gotten the call since he was with Jenny and I._

However, that small amount of information made Xander's day light up.

"She did?" He said excitedly, "She wanted to call?"

I held on cautiously to the note in my pocket putting faith that the promise enclosed within the letter would be kept. Their lives might strongly depend on this promise.

"Anyway," I said ending our distracted conversation, "Even without Cordellia around to help. I have reason to believe that you guys will be taken care of. You guys will be safe. But don't do anything rash, and be careful!"

And I have recently learned to trust Ralph with my, well... the appropriate term would be family. The Scooby gang has become my family. They are my entire life. So I can honestly say that I trust Ralph with my life. He has proven more than once that he would do anything to protect them. He died saving my life, by saving Jenny.

I trusted Ralph. And the note he left at my house made something very clear: Dead or not, he would always look out for the kids.

*Jenny*

"Damian stop!" Ralph shouted, but Damian didn't even flinch. I clawed viscously at Damian's skin trying to tare his hands away and kicking violently all around. Air wasn't coming through no matter how hard I tried.

"I think you're the one who's going to hell!" Damian spat in my face. His breath smelt of alcohol, "You're the reason my brother is dead."

_At least someone understands._

"I don't think he can see you Ralph!" I said choking for air.

At the mention of Ralph's name, he growled throwing me forcefully against the floor. I coughed managing to struggle for more air.

"Stop!" Ralph ran through his brother trying to push him away, "Please! We used to get along remember? Remember the good old days before we were corrupted by magic? We used to make mud pies near the creek behind our house. We followed butterflies because we thought they could take us on adventures..." Ralph cried. "What happened to those days?"

This was hardly the time to be nostalgic. However, I understood. Ralph felt like his life was flashing before his eyes. He was dead and never get to live those days again. Damian came closer at me and Ralph's voice was louder now.

"When we were five we were convinced that we found the Secret Garden? Come on! Look at me!"

Damian raised his hand to strike me, and without realizing it I shouted everything Ralph said back at Damian, "You and Ralph made mud pies at the creek behind your house! Followed butterflies! Secret Garden!"

I flinched waiting for the blow, but it never came. I opened my eyes and carefully looked up at Damian. He was bent over me, in a paused position. He slowly pulled away from me. His black eyes turned into frozen sadness.

"How did you know about that?" he breathed.

I swallowed hard. My throat was dry.

"Ralph just told me. He's in this room right now."

"What do you mean?" He said angrily, "Why can't I see him?"

"He's a ghost."

He glared at me, "I don't believe you!"

"Ask me anything that only Ralph would know." I insisted.

Damian lunged at me, and slapped my face so hard that he forced me to look at the floor.

"No! Jenny!" Shouted Ralph helplessly.

"Fine. Tell me what Dreams and Nightmares were, and you win the ten thousand dollar prize... well, your life isn't really worth that much, make it the two cent prize."

I looked at Ralph, and Damian followed my gaze.

"We had two fish," Ralph said while looking directly at his brother. Damian saw right through him.

"Two fish." I said quickly.

"We had one black fish and one white fish we found in the creek. We took care of them, came to feed them every day and they were always there. They knew we came by to feed them."

"A black fish and white fish you guys fed at the creek." Damian looked at me amazed. Ralph continued and I repeated what he said.

"You called the white fish dreams, and the black one nightmares."

Damian backed away from me crossing his arms over his bare chest as if he was suddenly cold. His hands were shaking violently and his breathing indicated he was trying not to cry. He looked around the room.

"Ralph?"

I rested my head against the wall and finally relaxed. Ralph was now refusing to speak. He also started tearing up.

"Ralph I'm so sorry... I-I didn't mean to..." Damian choked on his words. He couldn't finish his sentence.

"Tell him I forgive him."

"Ralph says he forgives you." I whispered also having to bare the emotional pain before me. Damian managed to hear my words and looked back at me with a light smile. He didn't know where else to look except at me.

"Why can only you see him?"

"We don't know yet," I said truthfully cradling my legs against my chest resting my chin on my knees, "How did you get away from Ileana in Romania?"

He laughed through his tears, "That old woman? Put me in a magical dungeon... well at least she thinks she did. Only a mater of time before she realizes it's only a projection."

"That old hag never did catch up with the times," Ralph shook his head laughing, "Must you always get yourself into trouble?"

"Ralph wises you'd keep yourself out of trouble." I translated.

Damian gave another chilling smile, "That's impossible."

*Damian*

Jenny was obviously still shaken by my sudden appearance. I could not believe she was talking to Ralph, but she had to be. She spoke of times Ralph and I had, and they were memories only we knew. Naturally I didn't want to believe in something you couldn't see, but for some strange reason, I did anyway.

"Ralph wants to know if you can do something for him," she said, "and to prove it's him asking, and not me, he says you've always fought for the top bunk of your bunk beds all your life."

_I remember._

Even our first bunk bed, I fought desperately for the top bunk as if my life depended on it. Like if being one bunk higher gave me superiority or something. It all felt like foolish childhood memories now.

"Of course brother. I will do anything."

Jenny looked over at Ralph, where ever he was and listened to his wishes. Her brows were suddenly knotted and she sat up straight against the wall. She was giving him a frustrated stare.

"Thanks Ralph but I don't need it."

I waited but she refused to tell me. She listened to Ralph some more and let her knees fall to the side.

"You know," she continued, "that whole you-being-dead thing is quickly just turning into an excuse."

"What are you talking about?" I finally asked impatiently, "What does he want me to do?"

Jenny looked at me and quivered. She knew what I was like when I was violent, and she wanted to avoid that at all costs. Her voice was aggravated, "He wants you to look out for me. And help me out when I need it."

"What!" I shouted, "She's the bloody reason why you are dead! She's the reason we got into this mess!"

"See?" Jenny said glaring at an invisible space she called Ralph, "Your brother believes that I'm the cause for everything."

"Why is your last wish for me to help her?" I shouted.

Everything was silent. I tried to listen for Ralph but all I could hear was the rustling of the trees outside. I know he said something though because Jenny wasn't talking anymore. She shook her head and withheld whatever Ralph was saying. I wanted to pound her hard into the wall if she wasn't going to comply, but in a moment I realized why she wasn't telling me.

_It's the same reason Ralph said he forgives me for killing him..._

"Because he loves you..." I breathed, "and..."

*Jenny*

"And when you love someone, you would do anything for them."

Both Ralph and Damian spoke at the same time, as if they were both recalling another family memory, or in this case, motto. I sat against the wall uncomfortably and avoided Ralph's gaze.

"Jenny I know you don't feel the same way," Ralph continued, "but my intent is pure. I want to help you, and I've wanted that since the first moment we met. You didn't even have to say anything. You were in the emergency room having an allergic reaction to snake venom remember? And I accidentally saved you not realizing you were the one I was after. I'm destined to help you Jenny. That's always been my purpose, and that's why I'm still here..."

"I'll do it," Damian finally said, unaware that he interrupted his brother, "I'll look after her for you."

I could tell neither of us were looking forward to it, but we would comply with Ralph's wishes anyway.

Ralph continued, "I think I know why I'm still here. It's too late for me, but I strongly believe it is not to late to save Angel."

I gasped in surprise and finally met his gaze again. Ralph looked a little faded, as if he was starting to disappear. What ever he was telling me was making him disappear. It was his purpose for being a ghost. This information was taking him away. But I couldn't stop him from talking, because that means I would lose my chance to save Angel. I couldn't believe Ralph was telling me that it is possible to rewind my mistake.

"This doesn't mean I agree that it was your fault," he said as if he could read my mind, "but I know, more than anything, that it's what you want."

I nodded holding to the last pictures of memory I could hold of him. His shaggy jet black hair and his welcoming brown eyes that have always held our friendship in them. I didn't want Ralph to move on, but he was right, he knew something else I wanted more. I wish I could pretend I didn't understand what was happening, but I understood it very clearly. Ralph was sacrificing the rest of his ghost existence by telling me how to bring back Angel, and I was letting him. I felt selfish for letting Ralph move on but I also felt an unexpected possibility of hope when I was told that I could bring back Angel.

Damian waited impatiently.

"You told me Acathla is still standing right? Do you still have the sword from the knight that pierced the demons heart?"

"I-I am not sure..."

"Not sure about what?" Damian insisted.

"If we still have the sword that pierced Acathla's heart." I informed.

"Why is that important?"

"It could bring Angel back." When I said this, I wanted to faint.

_Was it true? Could Angel come back?_

Damian smiled and laughed excitedly, "That's my brother! The mid-evil genius... even when he's dead! Do you know how much I would love to get the gypsies back for what they did to us? To see their faces when they discover Angel's return from hell? Count me in..."

Ralph smiled that he successfully found in us a common interest. We both would appreciate having Angel back, although for two different reasons. Damian for Vengeance, and me for Redemption. Ralph began to fade more where I could now see hazily through him.

Ralph continued, "That sword is the key to opening the dimension with Acathla. My guess is that if you have the sword, you can open up the portal and find a way to get Angel back out. It's tricky though... I don't know the ritual, but it's not important anyway unless you have the sword."

"We need to find the sword to open the portal in Acathla." I said to Damian. He nodded.

"But Jenny... you need to be extremely careful. Acathla is dangerous and opening the portal can release evils that we cant even begin to imagine. The most important rule while you research this thing is make sure you always have a way to close the portal. Do not leave the portal open for too long or else you can suck the whole world into hell while trying to save Angel."

"Got it," I nod, "opening the portal for too long equals hell."

"Well I guess I better start looking for the sword." Damian suggested, "it's got to be back in Sunnydale right?"

"Yea. As far as I know." I replied, wishing I knew more.

Without saying thanks, or good-bye, he morphed himself into the hairy little mutt that he loved to be so dearly. It was hard to see such a violent man transform himself into a puppy that could barely reach my knee when it stood on two feet.

Ralph walked to my side and whispered softly through tears, "Can you tell him I love him?"

"Damian..." I called out and the puppy looked up at me, "Ralph says he loves you."

He barked once and walked toward my shoes. I was wearing an new pair of white converse and I allowed the dog to nuzzle his wet snout against my shoe for a while before another lightening show made Damian disappear.

After Damian had disappeared, I looked at Ralph and translated: "He said he loves you too."

"One last thing Jenny..." Ralph began. I could already see his lower half was disappearing. I reached out to hold him still so he couldn't leave but my hands continuously went right through him.

"No." I began to cry realizing that it was too late for Ralph. I tried to capture his image in my mind like if it could keep him alive. But it wouldn't. He was fading and all because I let him. "No..."

He continued ignoring my tears, "Tell Rupert I plan to always be watching the kids patrol. I'll keep them safe."

I nodded frightened by the image before me. His torso was completely gone. His hand reached out to hold my cheek, and I swear for a second I felt his hand brush lightly against my skin.

"Ralph..." A white light flashed and Ralph was gone, "Ralph!"

No response. He disappeared. He moved-on to the next world and I willingly allowed him to disappear for the information he provided. I felt disgusting for being so selfish. It made me sick that I would let my best friend disappear.

However, I couldn't help but feel the possibilities at my finger tips.

_If I could bring back Angel, that could repay my thanks to Ralph and show him that his last purpose was something special. He showed me the only way I could truly earn Buffy's forgiveness and that's to mend things back to the way they were way before the Kalderash ever interfered._

I cried again and fell to the floor. The blood stain on the floor had also vanished but now I did not want this experience to be a dream. I wanted it to be true. I wanted to bring back Angel.

After hours of restless crying, a cleaning lady walked in and escorted me out of the room. She helped me to dry my tears, and then sent me on my way informing me that no one was allowed in that room because...

yesterday someone had been a murdered.

*Rupert*

My suitcase was packed and already thrown into the taxi. But I was still waiting inside of my house next to the phone.

I picked up the phone a million times, and hung up the phone a million times more.

I wanted to call her and tell her where I was going. But I couldn't. I couldn't pick up the phone and tell her that I was a coward.

_I can't keep her secret._

It was all too much for me and I couldn't handle it. I just wanted Jenny home. I wanted Jenny beside me and the only way to do that, was to bring Buffy home.

_I got to go._

_I got to do this._

I know Jenny would disapprove of everything that I was about to do, but I had to.

Watchers are destined to be fighters. But the fighter left me. I was a bloody coward and couldn't stand being away from her, and the only reason I was leaving at all was because I wanted her to return. I would do anything to bring her home. Anything.

The taxi honked outside and I stared at the phone wishing that it would ring so that way I would be forced to tell her where I was going.

But it didn't.

I was a weak man.

I never called. I walked out of the house, and finally headed back into the taxi. I was dying on the inside and desperately watched as distance stretched between me and my house. My insides were ripping out me and I couldn't believe what I was going to do. But I needed her. The taxi was driving me, a weak man, down la morte street and I endured it.

She'd find out soon enough what I was about to do.

*Jenny*

It was already dark out again, and I had already cried the whole day away.

I moved myself down to the lobby café and sat at a small round table. I stared at the shattered specks designed in the table. The thoughts of Ralph consumed my mind. His image. My best friend and everything he did for me. It made me sick. I lost a best friend today for good. I'll never see him again. All he ever did was help me. I tried so hard not to cry sitting in the café, but a tear escaped. I couldn't breathe. I needed Ralph back. I needed to tell him how sorry I was. How much I missed him. He needed to know everything.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on him. I did everything I could to work my magic, but I had nothing to focus on. Ralph was not a living entity, and his soul was no longer in this world for me to capture and pinpoint. He was lost and I couldn't find him. But I tried anyway. I never gave up, because I knew he would have never given up to find me. I closed my eyes and pictured him and remembered everything about him. I sat for probably hours with my eyes closed trying to capture him somewhere. When I pictured his image looking at me vividly, I felt a pair of eyes staring at me. Someone was towering over me, and I felt their eyes burning their stare into the back of my neck.

I concentrated on that image of Ralph but the sensation never got stronger than just a feeling of being stared at. I tried harder, but the feeling disappeared. I kept my eyes closed all of a sudden scared that I had lost my final chance to reach him. When I felt that closing my eyes was helpless, I turned around desperately looking to see him. But no one was in the lobby. The reason the lobby was so empty was because it was late. It was too late. The darkness of the night was obvious from where I sat. I only caught a glimpse of one man with his back toward me making his way to the elevators, and the rest of the room was empty. I never saw Ralph. He wasn't there.

I turned back around to face the table. The lights in the café seemed to be dimming. When I felt the sensation of being stared at again, I turned around quickly but saw nothing more than the elevator doors shut closed. The feeling disappeared. Ralph was never there. Only dreams.

I was not in the mood to eat, but my stomach was. After buying a blue berry muffin from the café, the yawning sales clerk returned my change. I sat again in my seat and rested my chin on the table starring at my muffin.

The small crumbs were desperately hanging on to the sticky soft golden crown. I pealed the paper off of the muffin and it was naked and exposed in front of me and my empty stomach. I pinched off a small piece and nibbled on it. I ate slowly, sucking on the crown and savoring the soft mushy bread moistening in my mouth. But I was incapable of finishing it. Half of the muffin was still standing and the other half was inside of me. I tried dressing it back up in it's paper. But the muffin looked helpless as the paper no longer fit and fell sadly unable to stick to the sides of the muffin. It was exposed, and weak. Unable to hold up the paper like it used to.

I have no idea why, but it made me think of Rupert.

I picked up the half nibbled muffin and threw it away. It was about time I headed back into my room. My mind was wandering.

While approaching my big hollow room down the long narrow hall, I pulled out my key. As I held it out to open the door, I realized the door had already been slightly opened. I put the key back in my pocket and I did my best to remember if I had accidentally forgotten to close the door all the way. But I couldn't recall; it practically happened yesterday.

To make sure no one had wandered inside, I kept safe and knocked on the door twice.

Suddenly heavy footsteps were heard making their way to the door. I jumped back frightened that anyone was in my room, and I was even more surprised to see that it was Rupert.

"Hello Ms. Calendar." He said smiling brightly, "It is nice to talk to you and inform you that I am functioning perfectly. Would you please come inside?"

He opened the door wide to a room lit with several candles and rose buds decorating the bed into a dark shade of red. I could depict the sent of red wine in the air along with the warm aroma that Rupert always had when he was around. My hands were buzzing. I felt a tingle that kicked my sensory neurons into a charging impulse that could only be satisfied with a touch.

 _...Functioning perfectly?_ Suddenly I was too.

"Rupert?" I stared at him confused putting my hand to his cold face.

"Actually... he prefers that you call me by a different name to avoid confusion."

" _He?_ " I looked at him carefully, but something in his eyes didn't quite look right.

Suddenly I heard the toilet in my room flush. I heard another person struggling to get around in the room. At first I thought that Rupert had brought Xander with him, but I was not keen on having an intimate relationship with Rupert while Xander was in the room.

Suddenly the door swung open even wider.

"Xa-" I stopped mid-sentence.

It was Rupert... again. I withdrew my hands for the first Rupert's face. The second Rupert was out of breath and smiled when he saw me. He was fixing his pants. He was dressed in his usual tweed suit, and his hands were wet as if he had just washed them. His eyes were also wet, as if he had just been crying.

I shouted when I saw the both of them standing at the door way,"Oh my God!"

"Shh!" The tweed wearing Rupert said as he pulled me inside the room. The other Rupert closed the door quietly after I was pulled indoors.

The tweed wearing Rupert pulled me against him and I forgotten how sensitive my skin was to his touch. For the moment it was just the two of us, and his aroma lingered around him long enough that I was dragged into a whole new world. I forgot what the differences were between the two worlds and I didn't care.

He continued talking, "We don't want the neighbors to see your toy."

"Toy?" I blinked looking back at the first Rupert that greeted me at the door. He was wearing a brand new white shirt and Jeans. I should have realized it when he answered the door, it was my robot.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get to the door fast enough to greet you, he beat me to it. I wanted to surprise you but you came while I was using the utilities."

"Robo-Rupert..." I breathed, I let go of Rupert and walked up to the robot.

"That's his name?" Rupert asked from behind me.

I was shocked that it worked, but I was also aggravated that it was discovered, "I don't know. I didn't really name it."

Nervously Rupert continued,"Oh. When did you make it?"

I shrugged, "It was a summer project. I worked on it while I've been here in Los Angeles. Finished it right before you and Xander showed up."

"Have you and the robot um... been having an intimate relationship?"

"What?" I said glaring back at him accusingly, understanding exactly what he was implying.

"Have you and the Robot had sex?"

"No!" I said disgustedly, "Rupert it's a robot!"

"Oh." He said sounding almost relieved, "Then what was it for?"

"How did you get in here Rupert? What are you even doing here?" I asked embarrassed that I my secret had been uncovered.

He looked at me disappointed that he had aggravated me, "Well, the manager recognized me, and gladly gave me a key in returns of never speaking about what happened yesterday morning to anyone. He doesn't want word getting out about the death in his hotel."

I nodded. I didn't want to hear about it either.

"But why are you here?"

He stood beside me as Robo-Rupert stood perfectly frozen gazing back at us, "I was driving home and it finally hit me Jenny that I couldn't do it. I couldn't be away from you. I understand that I've known you have been alive for a while now, but I got all of my memories back yesterday. I feel like I just found out you're alive, and I left the next day! I felt like I wasn't ready to leave you. I still felt like I had just gotten you back!"

"I felt the same." I admitted.

"THEN WHY DID YOU LET ME LEAVE?" I was shocked to see that Rupert was yelling at me, "Jenny I'm supposed to be here for you! That's what love is!" He threw his arms around me and cried. The sound of him crying broke my heart. I cried with him feeling everything that he felt, "I missed you. I need you beside me right now. I'm not ready to leave Jenny. I almost died driving Xander home. I couldn't breathe. I'm a coward for not being able to stay away from you. I've never felt so dead. Please Jenny don't make me do it again! I love you. I'm so glad you're alive. You have no idea how much I love you. I don't want to leave you! I don't want to lose you."

_We were like half a muffin._

I looked up at his face and his glasses were foggy. His face had been splashed with tears. I reached up and pulled his glasses from his face, and then used my sleeve to clear his glasses of the fog. Next I used my sleeve to wipe the tears from his face. He smiled lightly and I slid the glasses back over his nose. I held his face in one had. I kissed him passionately and I was so glad I did.

I needed to touch him, and I needed to see him strong. When he kissed me, I could feel him shiver and then pull me closer toward him. He was gaining back everything he had been missing in the last 24 hours. So was I. We both opened our eyes and pulled away. He looked at Robo-Rupert and started laughing. I followed his gaze and saw Robo-Rupert copying Rupert and kissing his imaginary friend passionately. Robo-Rupert stopped, and looked at Rupert and I wondering what we found so funny.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you." I say closing my eyes. My fingers were playing with my lips trying to stop myself from laughing and crying at the same time.

"Me too." He said calming down just the same.

"What did you tell the kids?"

"Well, I drove Xander home, met the kids up later and told them I was to fly up to England and inform the council of Buffy's disappearance. They thought that the Council could provide aid in finding her, so they let me leave."

"Are you going to England?" I asked looking up at him.

He laughed, "Have you been listening to me at all. I want to be with you. You don't want to leave Los Angeles because of Buffy. So I packed up and am hopefully planning to be here with you for a week. That is... if I'm allowed?"

He motioned me to look at the thick packed suitcase near the foot of the bed. I smiled.

"Oh you are very much allowed. But aren't you worried about the kids? You left them without anyone watching them patrol?" I asked worried.

He nodded, "Yes I have. But there is more..." His tone was suddenly hard, "I unofficially hired Ralph to watch the kids every night while they patrolled this summer, you know just to keep them safe. And when I went home there was a message by my door, it was from Ralph. He left it there before he died. It said that he was sorry, and that he was going to be out of town for at least another night, but that if anything happened to him... not to worry because he'd always be looking out for them no matter what." His stance limped a little, "I think that he knew he was going to die if he followed Ileana..."

I could tell Rupert was still a little shifty on the topic of Ralph, but he respected him which is progress compared to the constant fighting before. I nodded my head and looked at the real Rupert.

I remembered the message Ralph wished me to tell Rupert, but I decided to keep my mouth shut. Ralph had already told him in a letter. And I also had a sudden urge to keep the plan to bring back Angel, a secret from Rupert. He wouldn't permit it. I knew that. But it was something that I felt had to be done. He doesn't deserve to be in hell, but rather with Buffy.

"Don't you trust Ralph?" Rupert asked when I had not replied.

"Yes." I admitted.

"Then I trust that the kids will be safe." He kissed my temple and Robo-Rupert did the same to his imaginary friend. It made me smile. Rupert continued not taking notice, "By the way... Damian wasn't lying when he said you had a statue of me in your closet. I was wondering... was the alien thing real to?"

"Of course not!"

"But the robot is...?"

I pulled out from under his arm and walked toward my closet blushing, "Yea... lets put Robo-Rupert away."

Robo-Rupert looked at me still smiling and brought his imaginary friend with him into the closet. He was listening to me without me having to tell him what to do. I was amazed at how advanced he was and that it was working, but I still never wanted to turn it on. I pulled up his shirt and pushed his off switch. His head bobbed down but his arm stood in place, around the shoulder of his imaginary friend.

I closed the closet and looked at Rupert. He was smiling, about to laugh and waiting for an explanation. I closed my eyes and shook my head when I spoke.

"I was trying to make a robot that could communicate with Buffy without it having to be me. I designed the robot, and I accidentally made it look like you. It was too late, and I couldn't change it. But I swear I never meant to turn it on."

I was scared to open my eyes again, and when I finally did, Rupert was gone. I was scared, but then his arms came from behind me and pulled on the bottom of my shirt.

He whispered in my hair.  _Another weak spot._

"I missed you a lot too. I guess the toy isn't as good as the real thing."

I let out one laugh that was quickly drowned away by the humming of my entire body. One of his hands left my hip as he pulled himself out of his tie.

"You're incredibly skilled artist Jenny, I don't think anyone ever sculpted me so well... or at all really."

"What can I say," I teased, "I guess I have a talent for molding you with my fingers. Lips. Tounge. Teeth."

"And which one did you use for my baggage?"

His finger tips traced down my sides as he walked into our little kitchen and opened up a bottle of red wine. He began to pour us two glasses. I walked to the other side of the counter and smiled.

"Actually he doesn't have any... baggage."

"What?" He looked up at me pleading that it wasn't true, "I don't have a dick?"

I smiled unable to contain my laugher. His face was priceless.

"Well where is it?" He insisted.

"Pull down your pants and I'll show you." I smiled looking him up and down seductively.

He watched me. I wondered what wild fantasies were racing through his mind.

"Um, Rupert..." I said motioning to the glass.

He had poured to much in the glass and it was overflowing on to the counter.

"Sodding..." he mumbled off something I couldn't hear, as he reached for a napkin. His elbow swung back around to clean his mess, and the full glass of red wine was hit and fell to the floor. It shattered.

I laughed and he looked at the counter frustrated. My humor must have caught up with him because soon enough he started smiling.

"I got it." I said entering the kitchen and pulling out the trash can from under the sink. I got on my knees and began to pick up the pieces of shattered glass as Rupert cleaned the mess from the red wine.

"I apologize..." he continued, "I didn't come to brake your glass, I swear."

"Why does he need one?" I asked returning us back to the previous conversation, "He's just a robot..."

"He's not just a robot. It's me..." I looked up at him and he purposely looked away, "I'm not saying he should use it... I-I just think he needs one."

"Well, if it's that important to you, now that the model is here... I'll just sculpt what I see." I handed him another napkin to clean the red wine from the counter, "But if he starts using it, it's so not my fault."

He laughed, "Yea and who would the robot try shagging with his new toy?"

I shrugged, "Me."

I turned around putting the trash back under the sink and could feel Rupert's gaze turning back to glare at me. When I turned to face him, it took only a second to realize I had him flabbergasted.

I looked back at the red wine at the counter and continued cleaning waiting for his response.

"You wouldn't."

"Of course I wouldn't, but... I mean he has the strength of a robot. What if he forced me too?" I shrugged, "What if he imposed himself on me?"

He was silent for a moment.

"How about we don't turn him on when I'm not around. At least then I can keep an eye on him."

I laughed, "An eye on me? Or an eye on him?"

"I trust you. I need to keep an eye on him."

"That's to bad," I said unzipping my pants and letting them fall to my ankles, "I really wish you'd keep your eyes on me."

He looked at my newly exposed legs, and I saw his adam's apple move up harshly. He looked back in my eyes. Lust and love consumed them.

"I-I think that can be a-arranged." He stuttered.

My fingers traced his cheek and his arms fell to his side as he held to the counter top tightly. His eyes watched my lips, and I gladly kissed his.

He let go of the counter and moved his arms around me. He pulled me tighter against him and lifted me off of the floor. My legs wrapped around his waist, pushing against him and biting his lip. He pulled at my shirt. He turned himself around so he could sit me on the counter top, and when he did, my hip hit against the other empty glass. It fell to the floor and shattered.

That did not stop us. First my hands began buzzing, then I felt how my brain sent signals through my spinal cord and effecting every tissue and every vertebrae. Rupert lifted my shirt up and over my head, and my brain sent shivers vibrating my skin. I was one naked muffin. And I felt cold.

As if he could read my mind, he took off his tweed jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders. While he did this, I leaned forward and sucked on his neck, nibbling while his breathing was highly uneven. He pulled on the jacket that was wrapped around me as I unbuttoned his shirt. The gap between us was a dangerous hole that needed serious closing. When his shirt was unbuttoned, he pulled it off of him. I pulled him as close to the counter as he would get and tasted his nips. I was devoted to tasting him, a strange craving that blazed within me. It was something a robot could never make me feel. I craved for love.

His moan roared an arousing sensation of pleasure. He took me again in his arms, closing the penetrating gap between us and carried me away from the counter. He banged me hard against another wall. Loose items rattled. His tweed jacket that had once warmed me, was left on the counter. We were slowly making our way out of the kitchen.

He fondled my breasts as soon as he had me pressed against the wall. I reached over his shoulder and grabbed the bottle of red wine sitting on the counter. He shifted me over his shoulder so my waist balanced over him and he carried me to the bed in this position. I laughed, being held upside down and clinging desperately to the bottle.

"Rupert..." I said and he laughed in return.

I pulled tight on the elastic and stuffed the bottle in his pants, so the top was sticking straight out. The bottle must have been cold against his skin because he quickly tossed me back over his shoulder and onto the bed. He watched me carefully with a smile and I watched as he pulled the bottle out from out of his pants. He did it without spilling it.

Crawling on all fours in the bed, I sat over my folded knees and waited for him to near. With bottle in hand, he held it out for me to drink from it. I did as I unzipped his pants and loosened his belt. The warm liquid buzzed inside me. I had forgotten about the candles and rose petals in the room, but I saw their glare as Rupert took the bottle from me and drank a swig for himself. I took the bottle from him, and smiled wickedly.

He crawled like a lion over my naked body hunting for his prey. His face was only inches from mine, and I kept it that way until my head hit the pillow. Then he harshly pressed his lips against mine. I tried to hold the bottle still so it wouldn't spill. He pulled away out of breath and looking afraid. He always did just before we have sex, I wasn't even sure if he was aware of how sexy his fear made him look.

Avoiding his sensations of fear, I rolled him over so I could be on top this time. I handed him the bottle temporarily as I removed the last of his clothing. When I joined Rupert on the bed, I saw he was taking another drink from his bottle. When he was done, he held it out to me and fed me some more. He fed me a little to long, and a small river of red wine fell from my lips pressed against the bottle. the stream of red wine traveled down my chin, through the middle valley's of my neck and down my breast. Rupert withdrew the bottle from my lips, and used his tongue as he cleared the wine from over my nipple and back up to my lips.

As we sucked on each other for a while, he managed to put the bottle of red wine on the floor, and avoiding the candles. The night was black, but candles flickered light over every fold of Rupert's bare body. The candle light reflected off of his face and his muscles, showing how tender his features really were.

I kissed his every muscle, moving down his chest, and finally coming to his groin. My favorite muscle of his. I kissed his shaft that was permanently tender in my presence. He grasped at my hair desperately, unable to hold on to anything else as he moaned. I surprised him by opening my mouth and slipping his penis inside my mouth. He grabbed my hair tighter roaring his wild roar that was so erotic, it made me squirm. The thought of so easily pleasing him was adoring.

I suddenly noticed something about Rupert as I orally pleasured him. The only time I've ever seen him weak, or powerless was around me. He's willing to die everyday, saving the world, hunting demons. He's even strong enough to be tortured to death rather than give information that would destroy the world. At heart he is a strong fighter. When he's with me, he is scared. He has a sense to him that makes me feel like he's scared to die. Like if he suddenly had an important reason to live. And the reason was me.

"Jenny..." he screeched.

My first instinct was to be afraid. I looked up at his longing green eyes. They watched me with fear as he exploded within my mouth. I smiled understanding his warning. Now that my panic button was switched off, I took a second interpretation of his bone pleasuring screech. It was  _so damn sexy._

I smiled up at him, and clearly swallowed his seamen. He felt the muscles in my mouth suck them down. He smiled at me trying to catch his breath. I let his penis fall from my mouth and crawled back to his side.

He tasted like my sweet sweet sugar.

My craving was satisfied. It was all I needed for the night.

I think we both knew that we didn't have enough energy to begin with. It was already early morning, and our company was appreciated. Besides, I had a whole week with my lion. I'd had several more chances to hear him roar.

His sweat continuously reflected light from his white burning candles. I cradled him in my arms, and we calmed our wild tired selves down.

*Rupert*

I WAS ONE LUCKY REDCOAT.

I needed her in the day, and I needed her at night. And she is always willingly there for me. I looked at her beginning to fall asleep over my chest, and her fingers tracing over the folds of my skin and making little designs from the rose petals I placed over the bed. She piled them on top of each other over my chest, and their velvet petals felt soft on my skin. When I saw her there, next to me, it just felt...

_Right._

_Perfect._

_It's where we are meant to be._

_Together._

*Jenny*

The words "I Love You" lingered around in the atmosphere, and we rested in silence grasping at the what those words would bring in our future.

Then I realized what scared Rupert so much.

_What if our future turned this Dream, into a Nightmare?_

*Rupert*

And I've never been more afraid of anything else in my life.

But that would never happen. As much as love brings pain, it also carries friendship. I look at her and I know she is more than just my love. She is a part of me that I never knew I had. A man can live his whole life only half a man and never realize it. It's not until you meet Her and you realize a big chuck of you was missing. I'm scared to loose her because she has become so much a part of me that if I lost her, I would be loosing myself. Love does more than connect two people. It bonds them. It's blood. It sounds selfish to say that by saving her, I'm saving myself, but that's simply how it feels. I'm not in love with myself, but rather in love with everything that she aspires me to be. I want to hold her and watch her because she is the protector of my innocence and the keeper of my dreams. As long she was safe, my dreams could never be nightmares. And I loved her with all that I am.

*Jenny*

But I wasn't worried.

What ever demons or apocalypses came in the future, we would fight them. And we would win. No matter how weak we were around each other, to everyone else we were invincible. And we were strong because we had faith in one fact that other couples could only hope for. We never had to hope. We always kind of knew.

*Rupert*

_We are never going to leave each other._

*Jenny*

_I'm the other half of his muffin._


	38. Buffy Buffet - PART ONE

*Buffy*

For most of the night, I was watching life pass by from my window. I think I saw a car that looked like Giles's car pull up to the hotel across the street. But I knew I was making it all up in my head. I just missed Giles.

I missed my mom.

I missed Angel.

_God... what did I do?_

As soon as I was reminded of Giles, my heart ached more than it already had been. I walked away from my window and grabbed my coat. It was becoming a hobby for me. Most nights I walked around Los Angeles. For anyone else that might have been a dangerous habit. But I was different than everyone else. I never slept during these hours of the night. Especially now more than ever.

I killed Angel.

_Is that what a slayer is? Am I destined to kill everyone I love to protect everyone else? If it is, I quit. I'm done. Kendra died, there has got to be some new slayer somewhere, and Giles could take care of her. I can't do it. You can't force me kill every Angel that walks into my life._

I walked down to the ocean, and watched the moon glimmer over the blue abyss. The moon was much smaller than the reflection in the water.

*Joyce*

Every night the moon looked like a giant beacon of light. I wished it were the north star. I wished it could lead me to my baby.

But she's not a baby any more. She's a slayer. And I'm still trying to figure out what that means. But according to Giles, being the slayer meant that Buffy was safe no matter where she was. And right now that's all I cared about.

I'm trying hard to not blame all of this on Giles, but I can't help it some times. He kept this secret from me. Buffy is my child. Not his. And he has been parenting her, and guiding her into this life that she told me she'd rather not live. Before she left, she told me she wished she wasn't a slayer. That she had no choice. What ever Rupert has been teaching her, it has been pulling her away from me. And possibly away from herself.

However, I don't even understand what a slayer is. Not yet anyway. Maybe I was the bad guy in Rupert's eyes for some reason I can not yet understand. Maybe I was wrong. However, I am sure Giles is wrong about one thing. Fate didn't chose Buffy, Buffy chose fate. She didn't have to be a slayer, in fact she didn't want to be, but she was anyway.

I knew my daughter more than Rupert, and I knew that Buffy wouldn't work at something with so much dedication if it was corrupt and immoral. My Buffy was a good girl. Despite what Giles believes, I don't believe in fate. I believe Buffy chose to be a slayer. I believe she just wants to help people more than she realizes, and she'd do anything to help a stranger. Even if it took her life away from her. Even if it took her life away from me.

I pulled into the drive way, and the lights in the house were still on; just as I left them. I drove around Sunnydale every night wishing that someone walking on the street was Buffy. But so far no one was.

I dragged myself out of my car, and looked at the keys in my hand. While walking up to the front door, I scrambled through the keys and found the house key. I unlocked the door and swung it open.

Home.

_It didn't feel much like it anymore._

When I looked back at my big wooden door, the post-it message I tapped on the front of the door was missing. My heart beat quickened. I felt hope spread untamed within me.

"Buffy?" I looked around the house and said it again, "Buffy!"

No response.

I looked back at the door wondering if what I had seen was true. But it was. The post-it was missing. I looked again outside for Buffy, and when I moved my foot, I heard a crunching sound. I looked at my feet and saw the bright pink post-it stuck to my shoe. My hope had vanished. I was crushed. I was crying.

I bent down to pick up the note on my shoe, and felt the wind blow through my hair. The wind must of knocked it down and I stepped on it on my way in. I unfolded the crumpled message and read it again quietly to myself.

_Buffy, I love you. If this note is on the door, I'm driving around town looking for you. I'll be home soon. If you get home before I do, please remove this post-it from the door. I want to know if you have been home. Please stay if you do come back. I miss you Buffy. I always love you no matter what you are because you will always be my daughter. I need you home sweetie. -Love, Mom._

I smashed the paper again in my hand and closed the door behind me. I tossed the paper in the trash. Buffy wasn't home yet. And she doesn't know how sorry I am. She needs to know I love her, but she is gone. I told her to leave. It's my fault she is gone. I'm a horrible mother.  _Who tells their own daughter "to not even think about coming back"?_

I could never do what Buffy does. I could never be a slayer. I can't even kill my own demons, let alone real ones.

I looked at the picture of Buffy that I kept over the fireplace wishing I could see her golden hair bouncing around the house followed by her smile that she had gotten from her dad, and a laugh she had gotten from me. And listen to the beautiful sound of her voice. I always thought she would of had a beautiful singing voice if she gave singing a try.

"I love you." I said wishing somehow my message could reach Buffy.

*Buffy*

The moon had reflected enough light onto the sand where I could see the words "I love you" carved into the sand. It wasn't long before a wave came by and washed it away. But I saw it. And I cried.

*Xander*

Giles had already left for England yesterday. I had a feeling he did not leave alone. I bet he was with Ms. Calendar. I wasn't sure if this trip was really a vacation or truly an attempt to ask for the Watcher's Councils help.

But how could I think Giles wouldn't want to find Buffy? He would do anything to find her, and make sure that she is safe. So I couldn't doubt Giles.

Patrol last night was quiet. No big bads. However I was bombarded with questions that I couldn't answer.

_Well... I could answer them, but they'd be lies._

Willow wanted to know how my uncle Rory was doing.

_"Fine."_

What did I do at his house.

_"Listened to his 'When-I-was-your-age' stories."_

And why had Giles given me a ride back home.

_"He was in town and offered to give me a lift."_

And why was Giles gone that same weekend.

_"He said he was visiting a friend. You know... trying to get as many people as he can to help him find Buffy."_

I guess the last one wasn't really a lie. But it wasn't the whole truth either.

"That's strange," Willow said suspiciously holding her stake sloppily in one hand, "Giles didn't say he was going to be gone..."

"Maybe he didn't know he was going to be gone for so long."

_Wow. More of the truth. Do two half truths count as one full truth? ... but I guess it also adds up to one lie. Sorry... Xander logic._

Oz was quiet the whole time Willow questioned me. I hated it. I could never tell what Oz was thinking. How was I supposed to know if he bought my stories? He just stood beside Willow the whole time. He watched me carefully with his constant Oz face that showed no sense of emotion or hint to what he was thinking.  _Was Oz suspicious? Or was I just paranoid about lying?_

Willow broke Oz's glare with her news, "I'm ready."

"What?" Oz and I looked at Willow.

"I think I'm ready to start that spell." She continued, "And if we are going to contact the spirit world... it has to be now. While Giles is gone. That way he will never know we tried messing with powerful forces."

"I'm still not convinced that we should do this spell," I argued, "Willow, it's not safe. I realize finding Buffy right now is our top priority, but it's not worth risking your life for."

"I agree with Xander." Oz patted Willows shoulder, "Maybe we should wait for Giles. If we tell him, he might let us and help us. He is pretty desperate to find her too."

Willow shook her head, "No. This spell is safe. It can't hurt us." She looked at both of us desperately, her eyes pleading, "Please! I can't chance telling Giles. What if he doesn't let us? We'd still be in the same pickle we are now. Please! I need your guys's help. I can't contact the spirit world by myself."

Oz and I were silent, but we finally agreed. We were talking about contacting Ms. Calendar or Kendra, and although my pitch for Kendra was college worthy... Willow insisted we try both. No harm in talking to two people they missed dearly. I only agreed so she wouldn't suspect anything. But I felt like a horrible friend.

 _Ms. Calendar was dead._  It's another lie I told.

I kept lying to them to keep Ms. Calendar's secret. It was a stupid secret and I hated it. It shouldn't even have to be a secret. But I had already promised to keep my mouth shut. So I kept it that way.

I wondered how much longer I could handle this. I swear Oz was still glaring at me like if he smelt the lie from a mile away. I smiled to hide any doubt in my features.  _Man, Oz had a great poker face._

*Rupert*

Fingers crawled up my legs and I let them. I was to deep in my sleep to move around or to react to her long slender fingers dangerously high in my thighs. Slowly I awoke and let my eyes flutter open when they were ready to adjust to the morning light. At first I noticed that all of the candles had burnt out, leaving a small black stub of string in the middle of the half melted waxed candles. I also noticed that Jenny wasn't in bed.

At first I panicked. I forgot she was touching my legs. I looked to my left and saw her smiling up at me. She was sitting on her knees on the floor, with a thin blanket wrapped tight around her like a towel... or a dress. My bare body was fully exposed as I rested without a blanket over her bed. At first she was all I could see, then I noticed the sticky substance on her fingers. I saw Robo-Rupert standing in the middle of his room with his pants around his ankles.

The sight of myself without a penis was frightening.

"Good morning Rupert," She said sweetly, "How are you feeling?"

I looked back at her again and melted in her bright smile.

"If I got to wake up to that smile every morning, soon enough I'd think I was in heaven."

I rubbed at the morning dew in my eyes, and sat myself up in the bed watching Jenny focus on the sticky substance on her fingers.

"Jenny what are you doing?"

"Sculpting." She smiled looking down at my waist, "Hold still, you're my model."

I ignored her, and stood up from the bed. She watched me carefully as I walked around the robot. I looked at him, and slowly fixed myself to mimic his same position. An arm around an imaginary friend, my head down, and legs spread slightly apart. I kept my eyes on Jenny as I slowly began to wake up. I stood like a statue as she sculpted.

I watched her as her eyes shifted from me to the robot as she placed the clear goo where my penis would be on the robot. Every once and a while she would look up meeting my gaze and smile. It really was a beautiful smile.

Every time I would get tired holding the same position, I would move my arms into different positions. My legs never moved. She laughed every time I moved into a new position. I couldn't believe I was going to spend the rest of my life with a laugh that was so lovely.

"What's that stuff anyway?" I asked trying to understand how something so sticky could look like skin when it dried.

"Well, it's a concoction that some kid named Warren made. It looks like glue, but when it's dry, its as strong as skin, and looks like it too." She shrugged, "The robot was not even my brilliant creation. I helped out at a local robot convention last weekend because Buffy was going to help out too. She never saw me, but I kept an eye on her. Anyway, while I was working there, some kid forgot his robot manual book thingy, and I read it and was amazed. That's how I came up with the idea to make one. Pretty advanced for a kid his age, but soon enough I'll have to face it: the newer generations are going to be more advanced than their teachers."

She cleared one of her hands of the goo and when it was clean, she reached out and grabbed at me. Her fingers traced lightly over the tender portions of my skin. I gasped at her cold fingers feeling around my groin. She smiled watching my face as I reacted to her touch. It felt so good. I almost couldn't handle the sensations. It tickled.

I grabbed her hand quickly stopping her and finally allowed air to enter my lungs. My hand held hers firmly in a grip. I couldn't handle a light touch. The sensations were too over whelming and I didn't know how to react to them other than cry or bite my moaning lips.

She looked at me but I couldn't read what her dark eyes were telling me. I let go off her hand, hoping I hadn't hurt her feelings. She dropped her hand to the floor. I watched waiting for her to react. But all she did was stare at me.

Her eyes never left mine as her face came closer to to my groin. I could almost read her eyes now. I was interpreting her dark big pleading brown eyes as lust... or something along those lines.

*Jenny*

I didn't know what exactly I was feeling. I just knew I wanted him to make that face again. The face that meant: My touch was overwhelming.

I wanted to watch his nose cringe, feel his soft skin tense, and soak in his stare. He looked at me as if I was like five christmas mornings all at once. Like if I was stimulating his fibers.

It was a face I was scared I'd never see again. It lasted only a second, but it was beautiful. Rupert said so much with his green eyes and he didn't even know he could seduce me with a simple look.

*Rupert*

Just before her hair could touch my skin, I flinched feeling the expected tickle it would bring. Not wanting to back away again, I reached out pulling her hair back into a pony tail held together through my grip. I held onto her hair because thats all I had to grasp onto as her nose imposed itself to travel all around my shaft. Again it was a light touch and it was over whelming.

"ahh..." I moaned unable to contain the pleasure and pain being experienced at the same time. The light touch of her soft nose was killing me.

My nose cringed, my skin automatically tensed and I looked at her features soften as she watched me. I couldn't believe what she could do to me. Everything felt so different when you felt loved by the person making love to you. This wasn't for selfish pleasure. It was purely about the others person pleasure.

I almost cried because it was so beautiful. She had a tear leaving her black pounding eyes. I let go of her hair, and her nose left my shaft. Slowly she struggled to stand back to her feet while her nose traveled lightly up my skin. Up my waist, chest, and she tilted her head back as her nose curved up my neck to my chin. When I finally looked back down at her, her nose met mine, and we kissed. I held her close to my bare body really wishing she was not wrapped in a thin sheeted blanket. I hungered for as much of her attention as she would give me this morning.

"I'm hungry." She breathed.

I laughed at the irony.

"Where did you want to go?" I asked putting a loose grasp of her hair behind her ear.

She looked up at me, "I want to check on Buffy... I haven't seen her lately. She works at Helen's Diner."

"Won't we get caught?"

"Not if we get there before her shift..." I shrugged, "If we're lucky we can get out as soon as we see her walking in."

I wanted nothing more than to see Buffy. _But what if she saw us? What if she recognized me?_

I wasn't sure if it was a good idea.

But Jenny was hungry... and who was I to resist satisfying her cravings when she always satisfied mine?

"Is he done?" I ask motioning to the robot.

"He needs to dry. Then when we come back we can paint it."

I smiled shaking my head and rolling my eyes at her, "Okay, but lets put him back in the closet for now. In case anyone walks in, we don't want them catching me with my pants around my ankles."

"You're right. That's only a sight for the sculptress." She said handing me my pants and checking me out one last time before walking away with a wicked smile on her lips that I wanted so badly to nibble on.

*Damian*

It took a while, but I finally found the mansion that with held Acathla. I crawled myself inside thankful that if anyone saw me, they wouldn't think of a puppy as an intruder. I also like to be a puppy because if Ileana was looking for me, she hadn't yet seen me in my puppy form. She'd have no idea it was me.

The room had looked like it had been cleaned. All that stood in the room was the statue of Acathla, with shadows surrounding it, making it look as if it was staring at you. Making it look alive. A small thin sword was sticking out of Acathla, and I was not about to pull it out. It could open a portal to hell if I was not careful.

_I better tell Jenny I found the sword._

But before I left Sunnydale, I wanted to go to the hospital. I'm sure Ralph left some of his belongings behind that I would want to keep. It would be nice to have something for memory.

*Jenny*

"Her shift starts at noon?"

"Yep."

"Thanks Mitch." I say talking to her manager over the phone, "You have no idea how much it means to me that you're helping her out."

"Honestly..." he said sadly, "It's not the first time. I've had a lot of kids work for me that don't realize someone is looking out for them. I'm just glad you're looking out for Anne. Everyone needs someone to look out for them in this town."

I nodded. Glad that he understood, "Well, see you soon!"

I hung up the phone and Rupert came out of the bathroom fully clothed. He looked me up and down and smiled.

"I don't think I've seen you in a dress before." He said standing in the bathroom doorway and staring at me.

I looked down at my short yellow dress. It was strapless and stopped just before my knees. White flowers where printed all around the dress. The white flip flops on my feet had completed my normal summer Los Angeles appearance. I looked back at Rupert. He was looking at my legs, then he met my gaze again.

"Well... I wore skirts and those are kind of the same..."

He shook his head, "No they're not."

He walked beside me and pressed his nose against my temple, "I like this dress. You look beautiful."

"Buffy starts at noon." I had to force myself to say, "That doesn't give us a lot of time left. We better go now if we want to eat now."

"I don't know if I'm ready."

"She won't see you." I assured him, "I spoke to Mitch, the manager, and he promised to occupy Buffy if we need a quick escape route."

"What do we do? Just look at her and run?" He asked sounding as if our attempt was pointless.

"Hey, Rupert..." I said forcing him to look at me, "Trust me. It's Buffy... it's going to be worth it. You're her watcher... and I know you need to know she's okay. You don't have to take my word for it. You can see it. Even for a second, it'll be worth it."

He nodded.

"You're right. You're always right."

*No POV*

Jenny and Rupert arrived at Helen's Diner around eleven thirty and had about half an hour until Buffy arrived. Not a lot of time for a brunch but they both agreed it was enough time to prepare themselves to see her.

Jenny walked up to the front of the empty line at the Diner and leaned over the counter to look for an employee. Someone tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around to face him. She read the name tag. It was Mitch.

"You wouldn't happen to be Jennifer, now would you?" He asked holding out his hand.

She smiled brightly taking his hand in hers, "I am. You must be Mitch."

"I am!" He replied shaking her hand.

He was older, and thick skinned. Red hair sprouted on his face as a beard and the red hair on his head was combed beneath his hat. The freckles on his face didn't give him any more of a pleasant appearance. He couldn't hide how grimy he looked, and the smell of fried food surrounded him. His brown eyes moved over to Rupert, "And you are?"

"Rupert." Giles replied shaking the mans hand as well, and then wiping his hand lightly on his jacket, "Thank you so much... for everything."

Rupert had a lot to thank him for. He was looking out for his slayer and keeping her fed. Other than Jenny, he was pleased someone was watching out for her at a closer range.

"Oh it's no problem, really you guys." He replied looking around, "She's quiet most of the time... you know, in her own world. I leave her be. She works for me, always on time, and I never have to listen to her talk about her life story unlike the rest of my employees so its entirely worth it."

Jenny and Rupert weren't sure if they should take it as a compliment and remained silent. Thankfully Mitch continued before it got awkward.

"You her parents?"

"Friends." Rupert replied.

"Nice friends." He nodded, "Well, lets get you a seat in the corner over here, and get you nice folks eating before she arrives."

He walked them over to an empty table in the corner of the diner. The entrance was on the other side of the room, but Jenny and Rupert still had to be careful because nothing was covering their heads from anyones view.

"So let me make sure I have this correct." He started, "Buffy walks in over there and heads straight for the back. You guys watch her walk by, and then leave?"

Jenny nodded as her and Rupert slid into the booth. Rupert's back was facing the entrance, and Jenny was facing directly at it. She slid the sunglasses off of her head and over her eyes.

"No, no, no." Mitch said handing them their menu's, "We can do more than that! You guys did not come all the way here for a glance at her. Look... this is what I am prepared to do..."

"No!" Rupert and Jenny shouted at the same time.

Rupert silenced as Jenny continued, "We can't do anything to chance her knowing that we are here. It's complicated. We just want to see her. Make sure she's okay, you know. Then we will leave. It's hard but its the best we can get for now..."

Mitch stayed silent but shook his head. He was intent on giving them more action than that. He wasn't satisfied. And like always... Mitch was going to think up a plan. However, the thing about Mitch's plans... well, they hardly ever worked. But that never stopped him before. I mean, he'd succeed one day _... right?_

*Jenny*

After a moment of silence, Mitch finally continued, "Can I get you guys something to drink?"

"Lemonade." I replied.

"Coffee please." Rupert said as if he was swallowing his pride.

I put down my menu and glanced at him shocked. When Mitch walked away Rupert looked back at me and shrugged.

"Sorry. I need to be tense." He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, "Jenny I can't do this. I can wait in the car."

"No you need to stay." I grabbed his wrist and pulled it away from his eyes, "Look I know this is risky but we're not in Sunnydale any more sweetie. We can do this. You heard Mitch... all we are going to do is look at her, and we can get away with so much more. But we're not going to chance it. We're going to just glance and go. We can get away with that. You need to see her."

I wished his sea drawn green eyes would see reason and soon enough he did. He took my hand around his wrist and kissed it. Then he released my hand from his lips and he looked back down at his menu. I smiled, and did the same.

When I looked down at the menu, I glanced through everything but couldn't keep focused when my eyes continuously drifted out the window. I glanced out the window holding on to every detail of every person walking by outside. None of them was her.

"What are you getting?" Rupert asked drawing my attention back to my menu.

"I, uh... I..." I nervously ran my fingers through my hair and then pounded my fists lightly on the table, "I don't think I'm exactly as hungry as I thought I was ten minutes ago."

"Me either..." he laughed entwining his fingers with mine across the table, "How about we share some pancakes?"

I let out a breath unevenly, closing my eyes and smiled. Rupert could make some stuff seem so simple, "That. Would be, perfect."

Mitch came to the table again and handed us our drinks from the black tray in his hand. One pink lemonade for me, and coffee for Rupert.

"Are you guys ready to order?"

"We're just going to share some pancakes..." Rupert replied for us.

Mitch wrote it down on his notepad while Rupert gathered together the menus. He handed them to Mitch, but Mitch shook his head and pushed them back at Rupert.

"Keep them... they, uh... might come in handy. You know, in case of an emergency, or... something."

"Good idea. Thanks." I replied as Rupert placed them back between us.

Mitch looked at us oddly, checked his notepad, and then walked away quickly. Rupert and I looked back to each other and I swore I could feel his butterflies from across the table, along with my own.

Rupert quickly grabbed his coffee and gulped down about all of it in one chug. He looked at me again with worry woven on the surface of his eyes.

"I'm used to having the answers to everything. But I have never been left more clueless since I met you Jenny."

"You're welcome." I said chuckling.

"That's not a good thing."

"Yes it is. I just added some fun to you're dull life and you know it."

"You call this fun?" He tried to take another swig of his coffee forgetting that he had already gulped it down in his first attempt.

He put his coffee down and I watched him carefully. His face twitched right on cue. He looked at me, with his wide eyes pleading me to stop but I shook my head. My foot had slipped out of the sandal and traced the inside of his leg. His fists on the table tensed and he looked away from me. He was debating wether to reach down and remove my foot before it extended into his sensitive zone, but he endured it as to not make a scene

I chuckled watching him bite his lip as soon as my big toe reached the space between his legs.

"Okay. Okay it's fun!" He said quickly without taking a breath.

"Good boy." I smiled pulling my foot away and back into my sandal.

He took a deep breath and finally opened his eyes again to look at me.

"You better be careful..." he warned, "I've got some tricks up my sleeve that you've never even heard of before. I might just use one if you get to testy."

"Is that a threat?" I asked raising a brow intrigued.

"More like a challenge."

"Pancakes are ready." Mitch arrived setting the plate between us.

Rupert and I never looked away from each other, truly enthralled with how we had each other hooked so deep into a vision. A vision that involved him and me with out limits. We were free and we were scientists experimenting. Testing the definitions of love for the first time. It was exciting. It was scary. But it was fun.

"Look I get it. You guys are occupied and totally trying to get your mind off of Anne but maybe you guys should start focusing less on each other and more on your surroundings. You don't want to be caught off guard or anything." Rupert and I finally blinked looking up at him as he continued, "By the way... Jennifer you know you are wearing sun glasses in doors right?"

"Part of my disguise." I nodded.

"Oh. Smart. Wear them."

He walked away again. I looked back at the pancakes and saw Rupert already with a fork stuffing the first one in his mouth. Half of it was stuffed in his mouth, the other was resting on the plate. He looked at me and froze.

"Nervous?" I chuckled.

He nodded.

"Me too."

*Rupert*

Jenny picked up her fork and helped me finish the other half of my pancake. We drowned our second pancake in syrup and before we ate it, I dragged my knife over the surface of the pancake. I carved the name Buffy into it.

She really felt like she was my daughter. I couldn't deny that. I missed her like if I was her father. I wanted to see her. But I wanted more than that.

I wanted her to see me. I wanted her to look into my eyes, run up to me and hug me. I wanted her to look at me and suddenly realize that she didn't need to run. She had me. She had Jenny. She had a family here in Los Angeles watching her from the third booth on the left hiding in the shadows of the corner of Helen's Diner. She had family looking out for her when she didn't know it.

Jenny kicked me and I jumped. The frozen expression on her face made the butterflies reappear. She was looking over my shoulder at an eye full of a Buffy buffet.

I was beginning to tear anticipating watching Buffy glide through the isles not even noticing us, but moving. Moving around. Entirely healthy. Entirely alive. Entirely here!

I looked at the pancake with her name inscribed on it and panicked. What if she walked by and saw it. What if she decided to come to our table and stare at the uneaten pancake.

No. I couldn't do that. I couldn't scare her away. If she saw me... everything had to be perfect. She had to look into my eyes and realize that she didn't need to be here. She needed to be home.

I grabbed the fork quickly and stuffed the entire pancake in my mouth. Syrup dripped drown my lips and I tried to eat quickly to hide the name I had scribbled onto my pancake with the knife.

I looked up at Jenny but I could not see her eyes through her sunglasses. However, I could see the one brow peering over the glasses giving me a disapproving confused stare. I froze again.

_That was stupid._

With half of the pancake still dangling out of my mouth, I turned my head to look at Buffy and she walked right through the isle, one away from us, and headed straight towards the back.

_She was alive._

This was nothing like glancing at her through the window across the way. This was close. This was an intimate encounter.

Mitch stopped her from going any farther. Jenny squeezed my hand across the table but I didn't take my eyes off of Buffy.  _What was Mitch doing?_

"Buffy!" He shouts louder than necessary for standing just two feet away from her, "How are you doing today?"

She stopped in front of him looking dreadfully confused, "Fine."

 _Fine._ She spoke. She's fine.

"Can you do me a favor before you go to the back?" He continued shouting glancing over at Jenny and I for a second without losing Buffy's attention.

"Oh God..." Jenny whispered, "Rupert what is he doing?"

*Damian*

I found a jacket abandoned on the bus bench. I put it on, and walked into the hospital. This was a task I'd get done easier as a human.

I was thankful that the news of Ralph's death had probably not yet reached Sunnydale. I could use that to my advantage and avoid talking about all the horrid details I'd gladly wish to avoid. Especially the question:  _How did he die?_

I almost barfed thinking about it. But before I started another round of mental slaps for killing my own brother I hurried inside to avoid the pain completely and get my mind focused on something else. And fast.

"Um... hello." I said to a man sitting behind the reception desk, "I am a friend of Doctor Ralph. He has had emergency, and needs his belongings from the back. Do you mind if I go back and get them? He would have come himself... but he is incapable of leaving in his situation."

"Doctor Ralph?" The man said curiously.

"Yes." I nodded as friendly as I could.

"He quit almost a month ago."

"What? Why?" I asked surprised. Being a doctor had always been his passion. He wouldn't give that up if he had a choice. At least, I didn't think he would.

"Well..." he said leaning over the counter as if telling me a secret, "From what I hear, he was in a relationship with Nancy, one of the receptionists. They had a bad break up, she reported him to the boss and he was set on firing him. However, Ralph found out before he got the notice and quit before he could get fired."

I remembered Nancy vaguely. She fed me when I lived outside of the hospital. She also let me inside sometimes when I was a puppy. She was the only reason I was able to spy on Ralph so easily. I had no idea he was in an intimate relationship with her. And she took away his job. She forced him to leave the only job I've known him to have a passion for. I was furious.  _How could anyone be so inconsiderate? She couldn't be his boy toy and she got him fired?_

"No kidding..." I said to the receptionist, "Where is Nancy now?"

"She got today off." He shrugged, "She's probably at her house resting."

"You wouldn't happen to know where she lives do you? She might have what I'm looking for..."


	39. Buffy Buffet - PART TWO

*Rupert*

We were no longer the only people eating at the restaurant this morning. In fact, plenty of tables were filled . Mitch and the cook had been good at filling all of the orders but when Mitch started talking loud, I knew he was planning something that involved us.

"Can you do me a favor before you go to the back?" Mitch continued shouting glancing over at Jenny and I for a second without losing Buffy's attention.

Jenny and I were trying to avoid any other contact with Buffy other than us catching a glimpse of her living her life without her knowing we ever came to spy on her, but it looked like Mitch had other plans. He was shouting to catch our attention and each passing second only increased my anxiety. If Buffy ever knew I was here, I'd never know if I'd ever get to see her again. I wouldn't be able to live like that. It was a miracle that I had Jenny to find her this time but I know the Powers That Be will not always allow me to be so lucky. I did not want this to be the moment I lost Buffy. I was never going to chance losing any of my girls again. I lived through it once.

_Well... if living is what you would have called my state._

I helplessly stared at Buffy wishing a way around this horrid fate, and yet dreaming that Buffy would just see me and instantly remember that she would rather be home with me. With her mom. And with her friends whom all loved her.

I still couldn't believe it.

_She was alive. I mean, really alive._

_And if I ever lost this opportunity which simply allowed me to just watch Buffy live... I would begin to grow more into my role as a coward. I would wander desperately around the world wondering... hoping that my slayer is still alive. Other than hope, how was I supposed to know Buffy was still alive if she ever ran away again?_

For a brief moment, I felt the agonizing pain Ms. Summers was in. She didn't have the luxury of knowing Buffy was alive. She had to live on nothing but hope, and that only made me admire her more. If Buffy turned around, I would lose that luxury, I would soon be in Ms. Summers shoes and I was too much of a coward to find out what that was like.

"Oh God..." Jenny whispered, "Rupert what is he doing?"

She could feel it too. The spiraling pain of suddenly not knowing. Not being aware of Buffy's condition. And it was frightening.

Without warning Jenny, I stood from our table and headed quickly toward the café's glass entrance doors before Buffy would see me and I'd watch my whole world shatter into bits all over again.

"Rupert..." Jenny whispered loudly after me.

I stopped.

I turned back to look at Jenny realizing that I was leaving her behind. _What would happen if Buffy noticed Jenny. Would she run? Or would she stop to investigate? Or would she do something else entirely?_ But almost immediately, I knew that wouldn't be a problem. Because as soon as I turned to look at Jenny, she was difficult for even me to recognize hiding behind her dark black sunglasses. I knew it was enough to keep Buffy from recognizing her also.

*Jenny*

I pleaded with my eyes from him to stay, but I had forgotten he could not see my cries of plea behind my glasses. They were interrupted anyway when a girl walked in between our gaze. I looked up into her shaded features and felt my throat tighten. I was staring directly at Buffy, but the scarier part was that she was staring directly at me.

_Does she recognize me?_

"Here is your check." Buffy said placing the black book on the table, "Would you like to see our dessert menu? Or maybe a box for your pancakes?"

I wanted to look down at my pancakes to see if there was even enough for a box but I couldn't take my focus away from Buffy.

"A box please." I finally said. I was surprised my voice sounded so sad. I didn't realize I was holding back that many tears.

"Alright, I'll be right back."

Buffy walked away seeming to be unaware of how the world seemed to have stopped time temporarily, or that she had quite literally taken my breath away and out of the entire building. But most of all, she didn't seem to notice me.

I looked around desperately but Rupert was gone. No where in sight. I understand why he walked out of the café, but I really wish he hadn't. I was alone. And she was coming back. It was a delicate situation that was too much for me to handle on my own.

I missed her more than anything and I wanted to be back in her life when the moment was right, but this was not the right time. I was being tortured because I couldn't take baing so close and so limited to how I could be near her. I loved Buffy and I couldn't handle facing the thing I wanted so badly.

I  _wanted_ her to recognize me. And that was a dangerous thing to want at this moment.

I shuffled through my wallet thankful that my sunglasses could hide my crying eyes. I didn't check how much the bill was, I didn't have time. So I shoved some money from my wallet into the black booklet just before Buffy arrived with my box. She set it on the table and then took the little black book in her hands.

"Keep the change." I said quickly before she had the chance to speak.

She looked at me oddly. She was frozen over me... just staring. Her eyes were like beams on my skin. I felt every blink. I wanted to scream, but instead I held onto my cries. Finally she turned away, and walked to the cash register as if it was nothing. I watched her disappear behind the cash register and when I decided that everything was okay, I bowed up my pancakes and scrammed. Just before my escape, I caught a glimpse of Mitch giving me two thumbs up and his jaw was wide open in success.

I smiled at him. But only to hide the pain.

*Buffy*

For a moment, a strange tingle vibrated within me. Something suddenly made me feel vulnerable and I wasn't sure what caused it. It was just a sudden feeling that came and left with the sound of the woman's voice. Her voice carried something that had enough power to send me spiraling back into the black abyss of pain that I was trying so hard to run from. I had no idea why her voice felt like it had so much power over me.

I finally turned around and headed toward the cash register to distance myself from the woman and the sound of her voice. And when I finally had the chance to take another look in her direction to investigate what it was about her that gave me the wiggins, she was already gone. She left nothing but a syrupy plate, glass of lemonade, and a mug of coffee...

_Wait. Was that also her mug of coffee or had she been eating with someone?_

When I noticed my slayer instincts were kicking in I stopped completely. I stopped questioning the strange tingle and continued pushing buttons on the cash register. I wasn't about to follow my instincts which would lead me back down a road of remorse and regret.

I was never ashamed of what I was... a slayer. But this was the first time in my life that I feared it. It would never leave me alone.

I opened the little black book the woman had paid her bill in, and as soon as I opened it, my jaw fell open as well. Quickly I grabbed the money and ran out the front doors of the restaurant, avoiding customers and baby chairs. Once outside, I searched desperately for the woman with the sunglasses but there was no sign of her walking about. She must of been long gone by now.

_If I hadn't spent my time fearing her, I would have caught her before she left._

When I walked back into Helen's Diner, Mitch eyed me suspiciously while he was taking orders from another group of people. I walked back behind the cash register and Mitch followed me shortly.

"What is it?" He asked probably unable to determine the horror on my face.

"That woman..." I opened the black booklet to show Mitch, "She paid three hundred dollars for a twelve dollar meal."

For a moment, he sighed in relief. Then his face was as horror stricken as mine was as we both took notice of the 3 hundred dollar bills folding over the plastic binding.

"Well, did she or that guy say anything before they left?"

I shook my head unable to look away, "There was no guy. It was just her. All she said before she dashed out was to keep the tip."

Mitch was silent, and when he spoke, his face had softened, "Did you recognize them?"

"No." I gawked at him, "Was I supposed to? Who were they?"

"Well today..." Mitch laughed, "they must be your angels or something."

He walked away and my gazed followed him.

"Mitch."

"Jus keep it." he waved back.

"Mitch..."

"Damn it Anne. Just keep it, okay?"

He never turned back to look at me so I looked back at the money. I felt like I was stealing.

*Rupert*

Jenny and I sat in the car for a long while not saying anything to each other.

I know how badly she wanted me to see Buffy. She thought I needed it, and she was right. I did need to see Buffy but I could not be allowed anything more than that or else I would lose everything.

Jenny was the one who needed the encounter. Needed to talk to Buffy, and remember what Buffy was like as a girl and not a slayer. I would have thanked Mitch for the opportunity if his plan had not been so stupid.

After a long moment of silence, she looked at me and her eyes were as pink as her cheeks. Jenny was about to burst out into tears and I pulled her against me before her tears could make an appearance. I held her delicate body against me as she cried into my tweed.

"You left me."

"I'm sorry I left." I whispered, "She would have recognized me. You know that."

Jenny didn't respond.

"Did you talk to her?"

She nodded her head.

Once she turned her snobs into sniffles, she finally spoke again.

"I think I might have given her over a two hundred dollar tip."

I chuckled, "Well... allow me to reinburse you."

"She didn't recognize me..."

"That's good."

"But I wanted her too."

I was unaware of how I should react towards Jenny's statement.  _What did she mean by that?_

"I was sitting there," she continued, "and I wanted to tell her who I was. A part of me thought that all of the pain could end if I just... talked to her. But I know better than that."Her weight was lifted from my shoulder as she shifted back into her seat. She gazed out the windshield window of her car.

When I followed her gaze, I saw Buffy. She had just run out of the restaurant and was looking around, but thankfully not looking at us.

"Rupert... I think D'hoffrin was right about one thing. I wanted to tell Buffy who I was because I thought it would make it all better. I know she hates me... I've seen it in her eyes before. Maybe she wants to forgive me but I don't feel she will ever get passed what I did to her. The only reason she'd be willing to forgive me is because of you."

Buffy walked back into the diner disappointed she had not found whatever she was looking for. I looked back at Jenny and her eyes were already watching me.

"I still don't understand what D'hoffrin was right about?"

"I also wanted to tell Buffy who I was so she could hurt me..."

"She wouldn't fight you..."

"Mentally." She finished, "To her, I'm the one who is responsible for her lovers death, even if you dont believe it. When I wanted to tell her, I knew that was the only outcome. I wanted to torture myself Rupert." Jenny began to cry again, "I wanted Buffy to tell me she hated me so I could hurt."

She cried into my torso again and I cradled by baby as she wept.

"I don't want to be like the kalderash. I don't want to serve vengeance. I don't want to serve vengeance." She repeated through her sobs.

"You're not going to be like the Kalderash Jenny. You're forgetting the most important thing about all this."

"mm..?"

"Pardon my British, but Jenny... your a fucking angel." I saw a smile creep through her lips and I continued, "Besides, you didn't act on what you want, correct? That's what makes you different. You don't act on your vengeance."

"How can you be sure?" Her sobs had stopped. Her voice was calm as I brushed my fingers through her hair, "Staying away from Buffy hurts just as bad, and frankly, I believe I deserve it."

"You're right Jenny, I can't be sure. But I am sure that you did the right thing. Right now you're not the only one hiding from Buffy. I am too." I reminded her, "Remember, you're the one who told me that if buffy knew we were here, she might run again? And the next time, we might not be able to find her. You're not avoiding her to torture yourself anymore. You're avoiding her because right now that is the only way to keep her close."

"But it hurts." She cried...

"I know. I feel it too. Everyone is hurting because of this..."

"Because of me."

"No Jenny." I said firmly, cupping her teary face in my hands, "It's because of love."

*Xander*

Willow needed me to pick up some strange smelling magic do-dads for the big spell tonight and I arrived at the magic box with a mission: Think of a good reason to stop Willow from contacting the spirit realm. First of all, it was dangerous but Willow always ignores the warning labels...

 _well... actually she doesn't, does she? She actually takes warning labels more seriously than the rest of us._  But not when it comes to magic.

Anyway...

Secondly, Ms. Calendar is alive and Willow wants to try contacting her in the spirit realm. I don't know what that means but I know there is a possibility of everyone finding out shes actually alive and that's not a plan that is good. Besides, who knows what a spell like that could do to Ms. Calendar if she was alive. It could hurt her, or worse, send her back to the spirit realm.

I tried to convince them that we should only call on Kendra but if I pushed for it any harder, they would both know I was hiding something... or someone...

So my last resort was the best chance I had at ending this once and for all...

Sabotage.

"Hello! How can I help you?" The gentle lady said from behind the counter as I entered the Magic Box.

Her wavy red hair and small pointed nose made her the perfect cliché of a witch. She was even wearing a dress that stopped just about her ankles.

I looked at the list in my hand, "I'm here for Willow."

"Oh goodie!" She jumped behind the counter, "Haven't heard from my little wicca in a while. I can tell she's going to be great. I can just feel it in her spirit. She has the potential. However, she usually comes in here for supplies for Mr. Giles. What is she up to on her own?"

"We're, uh, attempting to contact the spirit world." I shrugged not seeing why I should have to hide it from the person selling me my ingredients.

"That's incredibly risky," she said worried, "And especially for some one at her level of stature."

"Try telling that to Willow."

She bit her bottom lip nervously. "Well, okay. Are you guys trying to contact that girl that just died. I didn't catch her name... but she died in the library. I saw it on the news."

_I wish people would stop bringing that up._

_"Kendra? Yea... but Will want's to try a double wammy." The lady took the list from my hands and began walking around the shop picking out the items Willow wrote on the list. I waited by the counter. I continued, "She wants to try contacting Ms. Calendar also."_

_"As long as she doesn't try contacting them in the same night." She bellowed from the other end of the shop, "Incantations like that one after creates too much energy. It won't work."_

Then it dawned on me.

_Isn't that exactly what I want?_ _For the spell not to work? Maybe I have a chance..._

"It would be even worse if she tried contacting them at the same time. Make sure she doesn't do that either."

_Isn't today opposite day, or is it just me?_

I leaned casually on the counter, "If Will did try them both at the same time, whats the worse that could happen?"

She came back and put a brown paper bag on the table. She started pushing the numbers on the cash register.

"Well... so much energy like that, it won't hurt anyone preforming the spell but it won't work for one thing. However the energy like that can have effect on all of Sunnydale. It's like creating a giant energy bubble... and soon enough it has to pop."

"But what would that do?"

She shrugged, "Probably cause an earthquake. I've never really known any one dumb enough to try it out."

She looked at me with a raised brow.

It took me a while to realize that she thought I might try it out, "Oh. Right. Dumb! Who'd do something like that?"

_Except for someone like... well, me..._

"Cause I definitely wouldn't do something like that..." I continued.

_Because it's opposite day._

She smiled content with my answer and pushed the bag back at me, "That's strange. I think I recall Giles coming in here a while ago trying to contact Ms. Calendar also. I wonder if it worked out for him."

_When did Giles do that?_

I looked at her surprised.

And then I started bursting out laughing.

She looked at me strangely.

I tried to stop but I couldn't.

"I don't think he was able to contact Ms. Calendar." I said as I was walking out of the Magic Box finally beginning to calm down.

"But then again, it's not opposite day. Right?"

*Jenny*

After seeing Buffy, I just wanted to go some place quiet. I didn't feel much like talking for a while and although I knew a library would suffice, I passed by the Los Angeles County Museum of Art and thought it would be way more interesting than the library. Rupert spends all his time in the library anyway. I think it's better when he can come to visit me in L.A. and we can do things he can't normally do back at home. For example: Go to bed early, eat regularly, leave the library for more than an hour at a time, and lets not forget sex. Hopefully he can't do that back at home either... without me.

Rupert was surprised I brought him here. I think he was right when he said it was our first quiet date. The Monster Truck Rallies sure did no justice to the librarian within the tweed.

Upon entering the bright sunroof lobby, we were confronted with stunning pieces of artwork. The floors were waxed and the walls were painted a mervelous white with a painted canvas measured exactly the same distance between every picture. Behind the circular front desk in the lobby was a life sized statue of a blue air balloon looking dog. I thought that if I could touch it, that it would make the irritating rubbery sound. It was only a statue but it gave that illusion.

Rupert talked to the man behind the counter and paid for our entrance fees. When Rupert handed me the brochure, I had to remember that this was only the beginning.

*Xander*

I knocked on the glass door to Willow's room and caught Oz's attention. From what I could see, Willow was not in her room.

Oz turned around quickly, peeling his eyes away from Willow's laptop and smiled when he saw me.

"Hey." He whispered as soon as he had opened the door.

"Willow still having quality mom time?" I asked already knowing the answer.

Oz took the brown paper bag from my hands, and I closed Willow's glass door behind me, "Actually from what I last heard, it was quality cleaning-up-the-kitchen time. But I'm sure she'll be up soon. Is this everything?"

Oz emptied all of the items into Willow's bed.

"Yea all there."

"Good. Will showed me how to set it all up so when she walks in, we can get it started."

I hesitated, waiting for the world to stop feeling so loud and uneasy.

"D-Do you think the spell will work?"

Oz didn't even take a moment to think about it, "Well I'm pretty much betting that my girlfriend can do anything."

I watched Oz begin to layout all of the necessities and felt pangs of envy. I wish that I never knew Ms. Calendars big secret because I wouldn't be having second thoughts about this spell. It'd be easy, and we'd get it over with. But it always seems that the more I know, the more I'm responsible for.

Maybe I didn't have to sabatoge the spell. Maybe I could talk to Oz into talking Willow out of it.  _I can be persuasive... sometimes._

But it was my last chance before I had to lie to Willow and ruin the spell, so I gave "persuasive Xander" my best act yet.

"Yea, Will's pretty talented with this stuff..." I started, "Soon she'll be the next she-Giles but I'm just worried for her safety. I mean the last time she did a spell... she was in the hospital."

Oz looked up at me slightly, "Well from my understanding, it wasn't Willows magic that was hospital worthy but the hungry vampires that intruded."

"But you saw it didn't you? At the hospital, Cordy told me the magic looked like it was draining her at first." Oz froze so I continued pushing my point, "And to tell you the truth, the woman back at the magic box didn't think Willow was ready for this kind of spell. She was going on about how contacting the dead was one of the most dangerous spells in the book. I know we all want Buffy back and enjoy the company of a Buffy Buffet but I don't think risking Willow's life is the way to get that done."

"Dangerous?"

"Need me to spell it out for ya? Because honestly that's something Willows can do better than me. I'd probably spell it wrong."

"If the lady at the Magic Box thought the spell was too dangerous for us, why did she sell you this stuff anyway..." he eyed me with his suspicious glare... _Which looked like all his other types of glares._

"Well... I'm very persuasive."

_I hope._

Just as I finished making my point, the bedroom door opened and Willow finally stepped into the room with a whiff of dishwashing soap that followed behind her. She looked back at Oz and I with a smile.

"Hey guys. Waiting long?" Oz and I shared a glance, and when neither one of us answered, Willow started to get worried, "What's wrong?"

I looked at Oz urging him on until he finally spoke, "We were actually kinda having second thoughts."

"No." Willow shot defensively, "No guys, we already agreed on this. I can do this. We will talk to Kendra and Ms. Calendar."

"It's dangerous Will." I added.

"Yea well Buffy's gone!" She shouted, "And Sunnydale is gonna get hell mouthier if we don't bring her back! It's worth the risk and I'm not going to get hurt."

"We are trying to find her Will..." I said putting a hand on her shoulder, "Giles is getting the Watchers Council's help remember?"

Willow looked at me with fury highlighted in his eyes. It always hurt me when she looked at me like that, "Xander, the Watchers Council is in England, what can they honestly do? The fact that Giles went out there proves that we need to do this because the only reason he went to them was because he is weak and has nothing else to do! He was just being too much of a coward to admit that to us!"

"Honey... are you alright up there?"

Willow's mom called through the other side of Willow's closed bedroom door. Obviously angered, Willow's shoulders tensed and she huffed in anger, "Yea mom. Just listening to music."

"Well it better not be any of that rock music nonsense young kids are possessed by now-a-days. I hear that the loud banging noises along with the nature of the lyrics provide a bad growing environment for children your age."

"Don't worry mom. It's not."

"Are you sure Willow? All of your shouting sure sounds like it..."

"I'll turn off the radio mom." She interrupted.

"Thanks Willow."

"Sure thing... mother." she continued as sweetly as she could manage.

We all remained silent until we were sure we heard Willow's mom walk away down the stairs. Oz finally ended the silence with his whispers, "Willow we just want to make sure your safe. That's all we care about."

He took her hand and all her anger seemed to shimmer away. She took a deep breath and whispered in return, "I'll stop if I don't think I can handle it. Even if it's in the middle of the spell, I promise, I will. Please just help me try."

"Will..."

"Resolved face." She interrupted me, pointing at her hard unpersuaded face.

With one effortless glare, the five minutes of my best persuasion was suddenly made unnecessary. Willow would not be persuaded by me or anyone when she made up her mind. Willow won this debate, and I wanted nothing more than to avoid having to lie.

"Fine." I pleaded still whispering, "but please, lets just try contacting Kendra. With her we have a better shot at finding Buffy. They may have some super cool slayer connection power that we are unaware of. Contacting Ms. C would be pointless and only add to your list of dangers. It will give us one less thing to worry about."

"Why don't you want to talk to her?"

"Huh?"

"Xander I'm not stupid. This isn't the first time you've tried to prevent us from contacting her. What's the deal? What are you hiding?"

Suddenly they were both looking at me and my blood boiled.

"I swear... I'm just looking out for  _everyone._ "

I wasn't expecting Oz to speak, so when he did, the attention dramatically shifted to him, "Xander, Ms. Calendar was more than just our teacher. She felt like part of our team. Even though she hurt us, she was still our friend. Friends all hurt each other every once in a while without meaning to. I know she didn't mean it on purpose. She was genuinely sorry for what she did."

_Was Oz about to make an expression?_

He continued, "I don't know about you guys, but from what I hear, none of us ever got to say goodbye. Ms. Calendar left this world thinking that we would never forgive her unless she could fix her mistake. And she tried but failed. When she died, she had no one she thought would care, and besides that sounding incredibly lonely, that sounds like a horrible way to die. I feel like we unintentionally tortured her by cutting away her air supply by taking away her friends. If I was ever in her shoes... If I ever lost you guys..." he looked at Willow with eyes that I could only guess were expressing sorrow, "I'd be lost. What would there be for me to live for other than for your forgiveness? She died trying to win that, and I just wanted to tell her that she did. I want to know she's at peace and not still somehow worried about winning our forgiveness. I miss her. We all do. I just think she deserves a goodbye because she never got one. We owe Ms. Calendar that much."

I understand that I should be mad about loosing my argument, but I am just way more amazed that Oz did not make one expression during his entire speech.

It was enough to make Willow tear... and I, well, I only produce manly tears.

*Rupert*

While exploring through the art work in the museum, I soon found a piece that I fancied the most.

It was a painting of a woman in a short and flowery sundress. Obviously a contemporary work of art that shadowed the elements of older techniques of brushwork. She was a modern woman with a natural beauty that dates back to a time far beyond our own. In the canvas, the woman was surrounded by art but it all looked dim compared to the light she seemed to be illuminating. It was obvious that in a room full of priceless pieces of art, she was the focus. She was the art. With every stroke of the brush, the artist had molded her face into a smooth canvas of it's own, complete with a soft jaw line, slimmed curved brows, and eyelashes that highlighted the beauty of each iris. Her nose was a soft powdery white, and just below it were the red lips of a devil. When her lips curved into a smile, her dimpled cheeks hyphenated the perfect white pearls she harbored beneath her devil red lips.

"Have you seen a painting that you like yet?" Jenny asked, taking notice of how much attention I was giving just the one work of art.

"Yes."

"Really... cause you've only had your attention on one thing since we've been here." Irritation in her voice.

I reached out to touch the painting, something that should never be done by human hands, and I held my breath waiting for someone to yell at me. I could be sued for even breathing on this canvas wrong but my hand had a mind of it's own.

The artwork was titled: Jenny.

The artist of this particular painting was not man or any mortal creature. It was painted by God. The angels work could be seen in every stroke of the brush.

I cupped Jenny's chin in my hand and leaned over lightly to plant a soft kiss on her right temple.

"Will you stop looking at me?" Jenny laughed pushing me away, "Come on! Seriously... look around a bit."

I smiled watching her move until she finally rolled her eyes and turned her back toward me.

We had been in the museum a little while now and I found the gardening quite remarkable. If I had a yard, I would probably plant a few flowers... well, maybe I would. I could already see Xander, Willow, or Buffy stepping right into by flower beds not realizing I had actually put time into planting them there. Actually I'm glad I don't have a garden. It means I wont have to bother going through that grief of working so hard and watching the kids innocently crush my hard work.

Jenny, however, seemed to have an eye for the sculptures. After seeing her robot, I would definitely say that she has the talent for sculpting. Looking at the museum's statues, I knew Jenny could do much better than any of the artists here. I wondered if she had given any thought to her future.

"Maybe you could work as a sculptress..." I said as she admired a sculpted chunk of marble.

The piece she was admiring was titled "Judgement of Jupiter" by a man named John Deare. It was a European work that dated back to the eighteenth century.

She laughed, "I can't do anything near this good."

"Jenny... when I first saw your robot, I thought I was looking into a mirror. You're better than any of these artists and you know it."

"I'm not a sculptress..." she turned to look at me, "I built the robot to be closer to Buffy and it failed. I made it look like you because well... I don't know why. It just happened." She shook her head, "Nah, art's not my thing."

"Maybe not, but you have the talent for it."

"Wrong again." She poked me with her index finger, "I have a talent for you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked intrigued buy this judgement.

She smiled smugly, "That means, unless you want to look like this guy..." She pointed to the nude englishman in the sculpture, "in front of everyone that walks into a museum, I suggest you not push my sculpting career any farther."

I gulped down a hot breath of air looking at the man in the sculpture.

"W-why not try sculpting something other than me?"

She shrugged, "Never tried, and never will. But you're right, I do need to find another job. I'll keep my eyes open, but maybe for something more in the computer science department... because other than molding your..." she looked down at the zipper of my pants and began licking her lips in a way that made my knees tremble, "...family jewels..." she coughed, "thats something I actually would enjoy doing."

"I hate to see your talent wasted." I said trying to allude the conversation back to her future.

"Who said it'll be wasted?" She turned her back toward me again and looked over at a glass figurine of two humming birds on a flower, "Before you know it... I might even have my own Glass Menagerie."

I laughed, "Let's check out the next room..."

She grabbed my hands on her shoulders, "You lead the way!"

We walked into the next exhibit and my eyes were glued to Jenny.

"Ugh..." Jenny made a disgusted noise and I looked over to see what had bothered her.

"You know I never understood this kind of art." She continued.

I looked around and saw the various types of Action Paintings. Action Paintings were works painted to look as if paint was dribbled onto a canvass and not used to make any particular image. It looks as if...

"They just throw paint on a piece of paper and get paid for it!" Jenny argued quietly, "honestly a two year old could do this and they wouldn't even realize it if they weren't even told."

"Well... I never thought of it that way." I admitted, "But, I always liked the idea that it was free to interpretation. Everyone can look at this similar painting and see something entirely different."

She looked at the painting I was looking at and tilted her head, "Isn't that what clouds are for?"

"I guess you're right."

She was silent for a second and looked at the painting a little longer.

"What do you see?" She asked.

"Well..." I pointed to different parts of the canvas as I spoke, "if you took away all of the colors... it looks like the background would be the night sky with a bunch of stars. And see this half white circle here? And the faded black one just below it? I see those as two paths. One leads to lightness and the other leads to darkness. Now with all of the color splattered back over it, I see all the other paths that people try to take not realizing it leads no where, or it's taking them in circles. They cover the two main paths and try to blindly make their own."

"Like if a million shooting stars had lost it's way..." She added.

I looked at her as she stared at the painting harder. When I heard my stomach moaning, I decided it might be time for a snack.

"Well no need to be in a room full of paintings you don't appreciate... how about we get a snack at the café?" I whispered again in her ear.

"We did rush out of breakfast..." she recalled.

"Come on." I took her under my shoulder and together we walked toward the café.

We walked inside the Plaza Cafe within the museum and were seated outside for the fresh air while I once again admired the gardening.

"Rupert..." Jenny called leaning over the table, "Why do you suppose there are so many people here in business suits?"

"Huh?" I looked around and sure enough saw that most of the people here were in business suits, which was hardly casual clothing for an art museum.

"Maybe there on a lunch break I suggested."

"Wolfram and Hart." Our waitress said as she neared our table with a bright smile on her face, "Their law firm is just across the street and may of them like to come here on their lunch break. I don't think half of them even realize this is an art museum. But our café is known for it's great food and Wolfram and Hart pay our bills so we don't argue."

"Oh." Jenny replied.

"Well what can I get for you guys today?"

Jenny and I ordered, we ate, and had a lot of flirtatious talking. It was fun. However, I couldn't help but notice as Jenny's attention casually shifted toward the "Help Wanted" sign on the door. Maybe Jenny wanted to work here and I wouldn't object, and especially because I wouldn't want her to be in her hotel room alone all summer while I was away. It would be nice for her to get out in a place that she doesn't have to worry about being seen. In fact it was a brilliant idea. If she wasn't thinking it for herself, I would have gladly brought up the idea for her.

We also got to talking about Sunnydale. Jenny was worried about the kids back at home, and I worried about them too... but I figured they wouldn't do anything rash while I was away.

*Xander*

"As Giles would say... don't you guys think we're being a little rash?"

"Xander!" Willow whispered accusingly, "You only brought enough material for one spell!"

"Oh yea... I almost forgot..."

_Here it goes..._

"The lady at the magic box said the spell would be far more effective if we tried calling them both at the same time. Safer too."

Willow looked at the strange spell materials on her bed and crinkled her nose in response. Her brain was processing my lie.

"Well, that does make sense. It would draw in more energy. And the more energy we produce, the more the spell is likely to work. But I am wondering if there is such a thing as too much energy...?"

"Since you bring that up," I continued, "She did also mention that if we happen to build up too much energy we will experience some sort of magical pop..."

"Is it dangerous?" Oz interrupted.

"All she said was that it wouldn't hurt us if it happened but I'm guessing it will disrupt the mystical atmosphere for a while. But she made it clear that we wouldn't get hurt."

"What are the chances of that happening?"

I looked at Oz and stepped up to his challenge, "Depends how strong Willow is an a witch. If she thinks she can handle that power then we should be fine. You did say you think your girlfriend can do anything, right?"

Willow blushed, "You said that?"

"Mighta mentioned it..." he smiled.

"Well I did that spell that pulled Angelus's soul out of the spirit realm. I don't see how this is much different. And I'm at full health so chances are it will work!"

Oz and I stared at each other without saying anything in a room of silence. I don't think he believed me. I think he knew that there was more than I was letting on but he wouldn't say anything. He couldn't. He had no proof and he knows I wouldn't do anything to harm Willow. So he let the night play out and he watched me carefully. That only makes me feel like more of a criminal.

"You sure thats what she said?" Willow asked one last time.

She believed me. But I wish she wouldn't. I wish she could look at me and could see that I'm lying, but the thing about Willow, she always believes me.

"That's exactly what she said."

"Then we better get started soon if we still want to patrol tonight. Are you ready Oz? I'll need you to read again and Xander you're responsible for lighting the candle. We need to sit in a circle and I'll work on the rest..."

Oz and I stood beside each other as if nothing was wrong but I knew he was waiting for me to mess up. I just hope that I don't mess up lighting a candle.

*Damian*

I spent the night with Nancy. However, I spent most of the time cleaning up her mess. Her blood was seen no where now except the floor around her shower drain.

I didn't come to kill her. Shake her up a bit and make sure she got what she deserved for taking my brother away from his favorite job. I just wanted to make her regret using my brother and ruining his career. And she did. As soon as she found out he was dead, she regretted everything. But for some reason, that didn't feel like enough for me.

Flashes of memory took hold of me.

"Roffie... this splinter isn't coming out!"

His small seven year old features pouted, "Well if you stop squirming, it come out a lot faster."

I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes as his tweezers pinched my skin in search of the splinter I had received earlier that day from roaming the forest. Even after he stopped putting pressure of the tweezers against my hand, I still felt the itch of pain.

"See... all done."

I opened my eyes slowly and saw the small splinter had somehow vanished. My brother had taken it away. Suddenly I felt silly. I was older than him, and yet when it came to pain he was always better at handling it.

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and saw my arms and knees padded with bruises. Roffie had only one, just above the crest of his eye. We were boys that liked to play outside, but the only reason I was probably okay with getting hurt had something to do with Roffie. I knew he could always take care of me.

"Now next time don't try to take it out yourself..." he continued. His soft unmatured voice haunted me, "Don't try pulling it out with your fingers, you'll just push it in more. Next time, come straight to me. I'll always take care of you."

He smiled his chubby seven year old smile.

And I believed him ever since.

He always took care of every soul he found that needed his help. Two years later, when we found Dreams and Nightmares... he even saved their lives. They were fish. What kind of child knows how to save a fish? Well, my brother did.

"Damian... why does that fish have a lump on it's face?"

I looked over at my brother and he eyed two fish in a nearby pond. I looked at the fish and sure enough, a decent sized white trout with a huge lump just below his jaw line.

"Maybe he was born that way..." I continued throwing rocks across the terrain only making the rocks fly half as far as I wanted them to. I was sixteen. My brother was nine now. We were the best of friends.

Suddenly splashes of water began to form from the pond. I ignored them until I heard my brother jump in the pond after it.

"Hey!" I shouted at him running toward Roffie to urge him back out of the water.

"He's choking!"

"Roffie get out of there!"

Roffie grabbed the squirming fish in his left hand and I stood at the edge of the pond in awe. Even as the fish squirmed viscously, splashing my brothers face with water, he squeezed it tight enough so the fish was forced to open its mouth. Roffie stuck to fingers inside the fish and I waited. Sure enough one slimy marble had been stuck inside the fishes mouth and the lump that had previously been bulging from below his jaw line, had disappeared when the marble did.

Roffie tossed the marble toward me and I caught it. It was covered in a slimy fish drool that had scared me into throwing it in some opposite direction as soon as I caught it. It was disgusting, and yet my brother had no problem touching what was inside a fish. He wasn't braver than me, he was just tolerant.

My brother released the white fish into the pond again and it swam away quickly. Roffie smiled.

"Come on!" I rushed him, "Get out of there now! I don't want to go home telling mother you were eaten by electric eels or something."

He turned to look at me and finally reached out for my extended hand. I pulled his weight out of the pond and he squealed once he was out.

"Hey..." he said dripping as he sat in the grass, "One of the fish touched my feet."

And thats when a new relationship began. We looked in the water and saw a black fish swimming circles, almost excitedly we figured, if fish could have feelings that is. I liked this fish. He was black, smooth, and much larger than the white fish. I reached into the water and it swam toward it, swimming circles around my hand now.

"Look!"

The white fish slowly came out of hiding and swam back to join the fun. I paid less attention to the previously choking fish and spent my energy on this new one. My brother carefully spent his time with the other. He pulled bread crumbs out of his pocket and we fed them.

When we came back again the next day, they were there again, and the day after that. Ever since, we grew a bond with the fish. A friendship... or as our mother called it "Fiships", not to be confused with Fish and Chips. And all because of Roffie.

You would think the way we grew up, Roffie would have been a good kid, but just as the gypsies have corrupted it's teachings for generations they corrupted Roffie. I would say they corrupted me too... but I believe I was just born this way. I was born accepting the darkness and growing into a part of it that as we grew up, I no doubt influenced Roffie too.

I could point fingers, but there is too many to blame. Me. Ileana. Even Angelus for being the cause of all this sadness our people felt. But that wouldn't take away the fact that Roffie's innocence was stolen from him long ago. And I encouraged it.

Something inside of me snapped. I couldn't feel anything but emptiness. When I finally admitted out loud that my brother was dead, I felt like I lost touch with reality. Every time Nancy tried to run, I would squeeze her in my arms tighter. Every time she disobeyed me, I hurt her. Every time Nancy did anything that challenged my power, I fought back with every power that I had. I needed to dominate. I needed to have power over her.

So I killed her.

My hands and my shirt were covered with her blood. I laid beside her limp body and held her in my arms the way a mother would while waiting for her baby to wake up. But Nancy would never wake up.

I brushed my fingers through her tangled red hair and let my own tears fall down my cheeks. I watched her carefully, just waiting for... something...

I was a man. I was supposed to feel powerful all the time. It was probably one of the many traits the gypsies taught that stuck with me and I beat on Nancy until I felt power consume me. I learned just how much power was in hate and it not only frightened me, but made me a killer.

I didn't come to kill her.

But I felt weak... so I had to compromise.

And I still felt weak. So what do I do now to feel powerful again? Do I become a killer? Is that what I am now?

Even if I spend the rest of my life searching for that temporary high, it's better than feeling weak and alone. And brotherless. I killed the only person I ever loved.

Roffie is gone forever.

And now so am I, lost in a chase to feel powerful again because all I feel now... is weak.

So now I'm a killer.

I wasted my tears holding a corpse that meant nothing to me and yet hurt me so deeply.

I didn't mean to kill her.

*Jenny*

Rupert and I had spent all day in the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, but the museum was closing so it was about time to head home. I think Rupert could read my mind sometimes. I was thinking about signing up and working here... just something to do while Buffy was here in Sunnydale. I mean, it sounded better than staying home all day and building Rupert robots all day because I missed him so badly.

I grabbed an application as we headed out the door.

Rupert insisted he should drive home, and I let him, watching him amused as he constantly tried cussing out my "small infernal machine". But I never let him get far enough to insult my car.

"You wanted to drive." I reminded him.

He looked at me as he pulled up to a stop light and smiled. It was impossible not to smile in return. I looked into his green eyes and felt the world crumble beneath my feet. My life has taken me to many interesting places, but no place so far has been better than Rupert's arms. I looked into his eyes and drowned in his love. He watched me. I watched him. From the corner of my eye I saw the traffic light change green but Rupert didn't move the car. It didn't matter... there wasn't anyone behind us anyway. It was the time of night that hardly anyone was driving on the roads.

First we stared at each other. Then I leaned over to kiss him.

*Rupert*

But then she froze.

*Jenny*

I felt like a magnet was pulling me out of my own body. This wasn't a natural feeling.

"Rupert..." I said aloud scared of losing him. Of losing this moment.

I felt like someone was tearing me out of my body.

"Whats wrong?" He looked at me worried.

I felt power raging through me. But it wasn't mine. It was someone else's...

I closed my eyes and could feel someone working magic. When Rupert touched my face, I knew automatically who was casting a spell. It was Willow. I could feel her.

I couldn't move. I felt like I was being chained to her, and my body was in the way. My soul was being tampered with, and yet... Willow was exposing me and herself to so much power that a part of it... almost felt good. I felt powerful. And my whole body was tingling.

But suddenly, like if a balloon had popped, all of the feeling had gone away. I almost didn't want the feeling to stop.

What ever Willow's spell was, it didn't work. Slowly, my soul fell back into reality, in the car with Rupert. And the spell left me feeling incredibly... horny.

I opened my eyes and found Rupert still an inches from my lips.

"I want you now." I finally answered.

I pushed myself against Rupert for a deep kiss. I wanted to feel powerful again. I wanted to make another balloon pop. He took this unexpected news rather well as his moans pulsated through our kiss. I could feel Rupert bubbling with emotions. For a moment, we felt connected. He literally felt like a part of me.

"Let me at least pull the car over."

I pulled away from his kiss.

"No."

I felt powerful when I said it. Power felt... tingly.

We stared into each other again.

"Jenny are you alright?" He said searching my eyes, "You're eyes are pitch black."

"It's dark outside."

I pulled the bottom of my dress up and over my head, throwing it in the back seat. Something about the way he looked at me sometimes made me squirm. I think it was the way that he chose to look at my face even when I was entirely undressed before him.

_Always a gentleman._

"God. You're such a beautiful woman." he breathed.

I crawled over the separation between the front drivers seats, and I began loosening the belt buckle of his pants. He tried his best to look around me and drive us off of the middle of the road. He was driving about five miles an hour but finally swerved into the darkness and made me feel powerful.

*Damian*

Suddenly my head felt a buzz. I was quickly becoming dizzy and light headed. It wasn't until the power went out in Nancy's apartment that I realized what was happening. It was a magical imbalance. I felt the mystical "popping" sensation that anyone with any amount of power could feel. As for the rest of the humans that had no magic, could see it happen. I turned my head to look out the apartment window and watched as the power went out or the rest of Sunnydale.

I understood exactly what had just occurred because a long time ago, it had happened to me. I felt a magical pop because I made it happen. Now, some other little witch or warlock attempted a spell way beyond their power and a "popping" sensation like this means they got way more than they bargained for. I know I did when it happened to me long ago.

After I attempted a spell that I was not ready to handle, I too caused a mystical pop. But a mystical pop is only caused if the spell was done entirely correct by a magician worthy enough to wield the benefits, so not every lame-o that attempts a spell gets to feel the pop. While the rest of my county felt the physical response, my response was entirely mental. In that moment the world opened up to me and I saw everything. The world showed me it's heart, and it showed me it's teeth. When the world opened up to me, it gave me power and I knew it was because I was destined for great things. Terrible... maybe... but great. Things beyond my understanding. And ever since that day, I've been attracted to power... and to magic only because now I can catch on so easily, and the amount I have is never enough. I can wield so much more only because the universe opened me up to the world to be able to use it.

I could feel it... who ever just caused this mystical disturbance with time will grow more powerful... begin to grow an addiction to magic that at first is almost undetectable. They'll be addicted to it because their boundaries on magic have been broken.

I looked at the dead body in my arms realizing my addiction to power made me who I am today. A killer. Maybe this next person will turn out one day to be exactly the same when the trigger is aimed at the heart.

_But man, what a rush..._

*Willow*

"Hey!" Oz shouted at me, "Is she okay? What happened? Willow?"

My whole body tingled. I felt Ms. Calendar and Kendra inside of me but neither would come. I thought it strange that Ms. Calendar's energy felt different from Kendra's... but I bet it had something to do with Kendra being a slayer and Ms. Calendar wasn't. I opened my eyes but still couldn't see anything. Slowly I picked myself up from the floor unable to separate the floor from my hand. It felt connected, and it all felt like one mass. My brain could not interpret the difference. Xander's hand patted my shoulder and soon enough my eyes adjusted enough to the lack of light and his hand came into view. There was also a strange chalky taste in my mouth.

"Will... say something." Xander urged.

I smiled. I felt like Xander was a part of me. He felt like a branch that had grown off of my trunk. I felt everything inside of him working... moving...

"I thought you said it wouldn't hurt her."

Oz lit a candle and I saw his face in the glow. Soon enough the rest of the room was illuminated in shadows.

"Well, thats what the lady at the Magic shop said! But look... see! She's fine!" Xander said trying to convince himself, "Look! Her eyes aren't all black and veiny anymore."

"What happened?" I finally asked looking directly into the flame Oz was holding.

Oz reached out to hold my face and I felt all of his insides working too. We were connected. I closed my eyes and smiled soaking him up.

"What do you remember?"

"We... we did a spell. It was powerful..."

"I'd say! Basically all the power went out in Sunnydale! I hate to say this right now but I knew we shouldn't have done this spell," Xander cried, "She wasn't ready."

"That was scary." I breathed looking at my hands on the floor, "Did we find Buffy?"

"No. Your eyes got all scary and the lights went out before the spell worked." Oz said braking the bad news.

I wanted to cry. I wanted so bad to bring her back and I failed. It was my fault.

"Hey..." Xander said sharing my pain, "You're is life just more important than bringing Buffy back. Look, she'll come back... but for now we just got to be patient okay? Don't feel bad..."

I could feel Xander's love for me, and it was so powerful that it scared me. Something dark inside of me flinched and I pulled away from his touch.

"What is it?" Oz asked.

I couldn't see it, but I could feel it. Suddenly someone was running up the stairs and heading straight for my room. By the sounds of her breaths I could tell it was my mom.

"Hide!"

"Huh?" Xander gulped cluelessly, "What do you mean?"

"Willow?" My mom shouted through the door.

"Under the bed!" Oz blew out the candle and hurried with Xander under the bed.

The bedroom door opened as they crawled under the bed but my mom didn't notice them. She didn't even notice their shoes sticking out from beneath.

"Willow are you okay?" My mom hollered in her irritating scratchy voice, "Whats with all the shouting up here?"

I could feel my moms energy just as I could feel Xander and Oz's. But she felt differently than Oz and Xander. She was filled with so much anger, and hate. She thought she was better than everyone else. She thought she was powerful in this house. She thought she was better than me... but she had no idea...

I smiled smugly, "If you haven't noticed mom, the lights went out. I was frightened."

"Don't speak to me that way Willow. Never talk to me like that!"

"Like what?" I teased, "Like you?"

My mom's energy was opening up a part of me that full of hate, and I felt it take over while I talked to her. While I dominated. My mom stood in horror. She didn't know what to say. She stood in her annoying purple bathrobe and duck slippers under my doorway finding the words to say. My mother looked into my eyes, almost in confusion.

"Willow, whats wrong with your eyes?"

"Nothing it's dark."

She took a step back from me and I could almost smell her fear. I didn't even know what fear smelt like, but I could smell it. She had forgotten I insulted her, but just remembered that she was mad.

"Go to bed Willow! It's late!" She hollered at me slamming the door in front of me.

I breathed angrily wishing I could get the last word in. Wishing I could... could... hold her by the throat and...

Xander touched my leg.

His love and care overwhelmed me. I fell to the floor. Something was different about me. I could feel it and I was scared. I wish Buffy were here... she always makes me feel better... She'd tell me it was just all in my head and I'd believe her, not because she was the slayer... but because she was my friend. I needed her.

But she wasn't here...

"You okay?" Xander asked crawling out from under the bed.

I rubbed my shoulder, "Yea... just a little shaken."

"You still up for patrol?" Oz asked kissing my temple and loosening me up some more.

"Um... yea. Sure." I said looking around, "I need to get out of here for a while."


	40. Dark Magic Delight

*Jenny*

I peeled my eyes open from the bright sunshine surrounding me. Everything hurt. My neck was sore. My back ached. When my index finger reached up and pressed against the tip of my forehead, I found I had a bruise. But that was not the only surprise. My lip was scratched. I even had a long thin scab on my chest just below the left side of my neckline.

I was immediately panicked. Adrenaline was racing through me as I was trying to gather my surroundings. I had been asleep on the hard cold floor. When I sat up, I found that I was in the Sunnydale High library.

How? What? Just yesterday I can swear I was at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art and yet I woke up this morning in Sunnydale. What the hell happened?

I stood up from the floor quickly and pulled at the cage door that I was behind. But it was locked. I was trapped inside the library book cage. A place only meant for monsters. When Rupert's old friend from college was dead, possessed, and slimy green, he was locked in this cage. When it's the night of the full moon and Oz becomes a werewolf, he also gets locked in the cage. And now me.

I began pulling the cage door making it rattle. I struggled trying to pull the door open. As I tried to break free, I also tried to remember what had happened last night. I felt as if I was waking up from a hangover. I ached all over and I couldn't remember. It was so irritating. What did I do? Why was I trapped in here? I stared to cry.

Suddenly I noticed another person was in the room. It was Rupert. He had been asleep and leaning his head against the wooden table in the middle of his library.

"Rupert…" I cried as I saw him, "Rupert get me out of here!"

I was panicking. As Rupert jumped out of his chair and walked closer to the cage, he stared at me carefully fixing his glasses. I rattled the cage even more when I realized he was taking precautions as he moved closer toward me, and scaring me even more.

He stared at me from the other side of the cage almost in disbelief. He looked exhausted as if he had not gotten any sleep. As I stared into his sad green eyes, I noticed he was torn up pretty bad too. Cut under his cheek bone and he was walking with a slight limp. His fingers reached through the cage and barely skimmed across my jaw line.

"Jenny?" he asked softly.

"Rupert, get me out!" I said crying, "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" His expression didn't seem all that surprised.

I shook my head violently as if that would make him tell me the story faster, "Remember what?"

He didn't say anything. He wasn't moving to let me out of the cage. My insides cringed. After a long silence of him staring into my eyes, he finally unlocked the library cage door. I pushed out and forced myself hard into his chest as he held me under his chin and wrapped his arms around me. I pulled on his coat to pull his body closer to mine. I wanted his warmth to wash away what ever it was that was making me feel so cold. I breathed heavily as I spoke, "We were driving home from the art museum… you… you stopped the car at the rad light." I traced my brain as the memory was becoming more blurry, "Rupert what happened?"

His fingers untangled my hair and then he pulled me away to look at him.

"Lets just, um, sit down and relax a little." He said before kissing my forehead softly, "I will make you some tea."

I could tell in his voice that he too was a little shaken.

*Oz*

I knocked on Willows bedroom door and woke up from her sound nap. She looked over and saw me behind her glass doors. She smiled her perfect Willow smile. She jumped out of bed in her purple princess pajamas and met me at her door. She opened the door quickly.

"Oz." She kissed me with a sigh of relief, "I was wondering where you went. I mean you, Xander, and I were out patrolling, you volunteered to come back here and pick us up some more stakes, but then you never came back. Xander and I were worried! Where did you go?" She looked me up and down and then pointed to the brown bag in my hands, "What's that?"

"Well I was sorta hoping we could eat breakfast before I have to leave." I walked inside her room and put the food on her bed, "I brought bagels, cream cheese, and I'm not sure which you wanted so I brought toasted and non-toasted."

"Leaving? Leaving where?"

"Do you remember how I told you that the Dingoes were going to play in San Diego soon?"

"Yea, but I thought that wasn't for another couple days…" she questioned grabbing the warm cup of coffee I was handing her.

"Yea it was." I admitted, "But the guys ran into me last night and the manager couldn't reach me since the power was out. Apparently the band that was supposed to play this week canceled so the band and I are going a week earlier. It was pretty unexpected."

"So last night… you just forgot to come back? We were in the park waiting for you…" Willow said a little frustrated.

"Actually it's a funny story." I said opening up the bag of bagels, "I was about to find you guys but I ran into some trouble."

"Vampires?" Willow said nervously.

"I'm not sure what it was." I said honestly, "I tried to track it down but eventually I lost it. By the time I had went back to the park you and Xander had left."

"Do you think we should tell Giles about it?" Willow asked nervously.

"I think it was definitely Giles-worthy." I nodded, "I'll give him a call and tell him what I saw. You still have that number he gave us if we needed to reach him in England?"

"Yea." She said reaching for the folded piece of paper on her nightstand and handed it to me, "When you call him will you tell him that we miss him?"

"Of course." I smiled kissing her cheek, "Sorry for scaring you guys."

"I'm just glad you are okay. You are okay right?"

"Definitely. But while I'm gone, you and Xander shouldn't be out patrolling. We should keep our distance from that… thing… running around until Giles gets back. I don't want you guys to get hurt."

"Remember what Giles said?" Willow reminded, "We are not allowed to patrol without you."

"That's my girl. So did you and Xander run into any trouble?"

"No," she huffed, "It was a slow night. But to be honest, most of the night was a blur to me. That's the last time I ever do a spell that would possibly kill all the power in Sunnydale. Do you know how scary the night is without street lights? Thankfully Xander and I had flashlights."

*Giles*

"Rupert this cryptic thing isn't amusing." She said scooting the cup of tea away from herself, "I woke up locked up. I'm expecting the worst. Please just tell me."

"I had a feeling you wouldn't remember." I said putting a giant crystal in front of her. It was a big clear purple mass. I pushed her cup of tea back in front of her. She looked at me confused.

I clarified, "Drink some of your tea, it will calm you."

Her tired eyes gave in. She stopped questioning my judgement and finally held her cup of tea. She practically took it all in one gulp. Jenny put her empty cup back on the table and looked back up at me.

I sat on my knees beside her chair and rested my hands on her knees. "This is an Amethyst Crystal. Once you are calm and can empty your mind… you will be able to look into this crystal and remember."

She glanced at the crystal but her focus was quickly back on me.

"Do I have to remember?" She asked, "You can't just tell me?"

I held her fragile face in my hands, "Jenny I need you to remember. It's really important that you remember. But no matter what, you have to remember that everyone is okay."

"That bad?"

"I won't leave your side." I promised

"I love you." She said as if she was trying to assure me that it was true. I think she was afraid that what ever she did made me stop believing that, but I always believed her. I loved her too.

"I know," I smiled, "I love you too."

I kissed her sore lips lightly and her eyes flickered to the crystal.

*Jenny*

*(THE NIGHT BEFORE...)

"Jenny are you alright?" He said searching my eyes, "You're eyes are pitch black."

"It's dark outside."

I pulled the bottom of my dress up and over my head, throwing it in the back seat. Something about the way he looked at me sometimes made me squirm. I think it was the way that he chose to look at my face even when I was entirely undressed before him.

Always a gentleman.

"God. You're such a beautiful woman." he breathed.

I crawled over the separation between the front drivers seats, and I began loosening the belt buckle of his pants. He tried his best to look around me and drive us off of the middle of the road. He was driving about five miles an hour but finally swerved into the darkness and made me feel powerful.

He parked onto the side of the road and all of the car lights turned off. His hands left the steering wheel and grabbed onto my hips. I looked up at him and he caught my lips with his. My fingers let go of his belt and traveled up his chest. My hand felt like a magnet to his heart. When I rested my hand against his chest, I could felt a pull. I felt connected to him. I couldn't tell where my hand ended and where he began. My lips pulled away from him and I stared at my hand as Rupert continued kissing my forehead. I felt like I was on drugs because the boundaries and seriousness of situations were fading. My mind felt like a blur. I felt like I was connected to everything around me. Everything my skin touched became a part of me and right now I was touching Rupert.

"What did Willow do?" I whispered figuring it had to have been with the spell I could feel her casting just a few moments ago.

"What do you mean?" He said between kisses.

I chuckled, "Did I say that out loud?" I pulled my ear against his heart and listened to his heart beat. I felt all of his blood running under his skin. And I could feel the adrenaline being signaled in his brain. I felt the testosterone bubbling up from his groin to his finger tips. Everything that was flowing beneath his skin, I could feel it and I connected with it.

"Were connected." I breathed over his chest. I saw goose bumps on his skin come and go, and I could feel how much power I had over everything that flowed inside of him. I closed my eyes and listened to everything inside of him working. I could hear his lungs breathing and his heart pumping. It was like a soft mellow song. Then his heart started whispering something to me.

"There is someone inside you."

"Not yet." he laughed.

As I tried to listen closer to his whispering heart, Rupert struggled out of his pants on his own carefully with my naked body over him.

"Rrr…" his heart whispered. It was like his stomach was growling.

"Are you hungry?" I whispered.

"Um… is that a trick question?"

"Shh…" I hushed Rupert and listened again.

His heart whispered more clearly, "Ripper…"

The name was dark. I could feel it was rooted in power. And it was inside of Rupert. It was dark magic, traces of all the dark magic he had ever used were still hiding inside of him and I wanted to pull it out. I wanted to use it.

"Ripper!" I ripped his shirt open and off his shoulders, "He's stuck inside of you."

Rupert shifted uncomfortably, "Jenny… can we not bring him into this?"

"But he's in you." I said putting my ear back to his chest.

"He used to be Jenny but not anymore."

I shook my head, "No. You are just the mask. He's buried beneath it. I hear him." I lifted my head from his chest and put my lip to his ear, "Tell me… what would Ripper do to me?"

I put my hand on his head as he traced his memory. I could see everything he was thinking. In a quick flash, I saw a man. He had a hard face. His eyes were lined with dark black eyeliner and a chain went across the side of his face, connected from his ear to his nose. He had a few other earrings along the side of one ear. His body was smaller and younger than Rupert's. But not only was it Rupert's body, I could tell it was Ripper. I was sitting on top of him, the way I was sitting on top of Rupert now. In a car, both of us wearing hardly anything. I was in Rippers hands. But the flash disappeared. Rupert couldn't finish his thought. What he saw had frightened him. He had no idea that I had just seen what he had seen.

"Jenny…"

"Show me." I whispered in his ear desperate to meet that dark magic beast within. I wanted him to use me. I wanted him to show me his power, "Show me…"

With my hand on his head, I could feel him heating up with worry. He was beginning to think that something was wrong with me and that this wasn't just one of my twisted fantasies. I pulled my face away from his ear and he watched me.

"Jenny… what did you mean when you asked 'what did Willow do?'"

I smiled wickedly knowing how to get what I wanted out of him.

I giggled, "No way England. If you want answers, I need Ripper. Tit for Tat." So I grazed my teeth against his nipple, "Where's Ripper, Rupert?"

A sexually driven moan rumbled out of him and vibrated the air between us. His fingers clawed into my back. My tongue escaped my lips and I licked his  _tit_  so I could receive my  _tat_. His chest tensed and his hands held my sides in a tighter grip. When I began to suck at his skin, he pushed me off of him and against the steering wheel. The horn of the car started howling. I looked at his face and his eyes were distant. His hand slid off the side of the chair and he adjusted the drivers seat to lean all the way back so I could fall on top of him and the horn of the car was finally silenced. When my hands fell back on his skin, I could feel that he was furious and scared.

I looked into his eyes and his hand pulled my hair hard from the back of my head.

"Jenny what did Willow do?" His voice had lost it's friendly tone.

"A spell." I laughed.

"What spell?"

I shook my head. I wasn't going to let him make this so easy for himself. He couldn't just put on an act. I needed him to hurt me, like Ripper would.

He forced my face against his and kissed me hard. He bit and sucked on my bottom lip so hard that when he pulled away, I could swear it was bleeding. Or it was just swollen.

"What spell Jenny?"

"She tried reaching out to me. I think she was trying to contact my spirit. I was getting pulled out of my body… it hurt." I sat up and looked down at his boxers with a smile, "But her spell exploded."

"Why would she try to contact you? Does she know you are alive?"

"I need Ripper…" I hissed.

"Hmm…?" he looked at me confused, "Oh! Um… that was a rhetorical question."

"Oh."

I shrugged. He continued talking to himself while I licked from his naval to his heart. I continued licking the center of his chest because that was where I could feel Ripper. I wanted to taste his power and I was growing impatient.

"Willow would only try to contact you for two reasons. Either Willow was trying to contact the dead because she still believe you were dead, or she found out you are alive and wanted to find out if it was true." He paused, "Why would she want to contact you if you were dead? Contacting the dead is extremely tricky and what would she want to talk to you abowowowow…"

He started talking funny when I slipped my hand through the opening of his boxers and traced my finger lightly over his skin. There was a little of Ripper in here too.

"Jenny…" he squeaked, "C-c-can we do this later? I-I-I need to, uh… concentrate."

"Ripper doesn't concentrate." I said breathing against his neck, "Ripper's impulsive."

With my hands I practically ripped the boxers off of him. Then I reached for his face, and held it as I kissed him. He was kissing me back. I could feel it. He couldn't stand it anymore. All of him wanted me and wanted my body. He was over taken by hormones that he let go of everything he was thinking before. Nothing was more sexy than a man that wanted to hide what he was feeling and couldn't. Some hormones where just too overwhelming.

Suddenly, it was like he started yelling. It took all of the energy inside of him to pull me up and off of him. Together we sat up and he leaned me against the horn. I would have tried to stop him, and push him back down but I was sitting on his throbbing erection so instead I closed my eyes, tilted my head back, and soaked in all of the energy emitting from him.

"I have to assume that… Willow knows." He breathed heavily between every pause and spoke quickly, "but if she does, that means Xander must have told her."

I started groaning. It felt like he was seducing me. I was connected to him and that meant that the hormones were multiplied. Just the fact that I was touching his skin made everything inside me explode. My head was so numb, I couldn't even think straight. My mind was nothing more than a constant blur while a lion roared inside of me begging for it's attention. I couldn't even hear the horn of the car anymore as I was pushing hard against it. I felt like this was never going to stop.

"Jenny, when did Willow do that spell?"

My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I pulled my back off of the horn and fell foreword against Rupert's chest.

"At the stop light." I said wishing that for just one second my mind would come back.

I was losing everything. Time. Consciousness. Nothing was entering my mind but the never ending whirl of Rupert's emotions. I started biting his shoulder. I was in pain from so much pleasure. I wanted it to stop but I also never wanted it to. This must have been Ripper. It was a form of torture I had never experienced.

"So it's recent. I can bet Xander is the only one that knows whats going on. Maybe he can answer why Willow's spell effected you the way it did…" Rupert closed his eyes tightly. Every time he tried to ignore me, it sent more shivers down my spine. It intensified the inner fire and pained me even more. I moaned again against his shoulder.

"You said her spell exploded?" He swallowed hard. Eyes still closed.

"Mm-mhm," I said rubbing my hand against his neck, "Want me to show you?"

My hand slowly slid down from his neck, across his breast, and down to his abdomen. Before I could slide my hand any further into his boxers, he grabbed my wrist and pulled it away. He held onto it tightly so I couldn't touch him.

"If he spell exploded, it mustn't of worked." I began licking his neck and I felt his throat vibrate against my tongue when he tried to hide a moan. He continued struggling to talk, taking in as little air as he could, "She must have gathered to much power, but the only spells that require that much energy are linked to dark magic. And since her spell connected itself to you… Oh my God."

I pulled my face away from his neck and stared at him. He had also opened his eyes and stared at me.

"You're eyes." he whispered, "They're pitch black. You must of somehow been infected with the dark magic…"

I couldn't take it anymore. My head was numbed from the pain of to much pleasure. I couldn't understand anything come out of his mouth and I was forgetting everything that was going on. All I could understand was that I was somehow connected to Rupert and that he was the source of my pain. I wanted to have power over him, but somehow, he was the one that had power over me. I hated it. I hated all of it.

"Ripper…!" I hissed, trying to pull my hand out of his grip.

"Jenny look at me!" he insisted.

He used his other hand to force my face to look at him. I continued struggling.

"Look at me!" He yelled as I began crying.

"Stop." I cried, "Stop it! Please!"

I couldn't take it. Rupert loved me and I could feel it. I felt everything inside of him and I was so overwhelmed that I was going to exploded. I wanted to shout my lungs out until the pain went away. I started to understand the feeling of going insane. I looked him in the eyes, and stared into his light green iris's. In the middle of all the chaos, his eyes were like the calm shores after a hurricane. In his eyes, everything was silent. Everything was sound. I stopped struggling and I looked at him, loosing myself in his gaze. There was no more overwhelming feeling. There was only peace.

His hand loosened his grip on my wrist. And he blinked. That was his mistake. When he blinked, the world inside of him came pouring back out and again I was lost in it. I was connected to everything and unable to distinguish anything. I lost control. I yanked my hand out of his grip, balled it up in a fist and slammed my hand down hard. I pounded my fist against his shaft and he jumped howling in pain. My head was slammed against the ceiling of the car when he jumped in pain since I had been sitting on his lap. And again all of the world seemed to disappear. My eyes fluttered for a bit until I finally keeled over with my head landing against his shoulder.

I woke up again when the car had shook as it was being driven over a bumpy patch in the road. I looked up out my window and saw the world passing by so quickly.

"Oh you're awake!" An arm wrapped around my neck and pulled my head back. Rupert planted a quick kiss against the back of my head. "Jenny I'm sorry about your head. Does it hurt?"

My hand reached up to hold my head. It felt heavy. As I lifted my arm to hold my head, I noticed something else. I was in my sundress again. I didn't recall putting it on so I figured Rupert must have dressed me after I passed out. I looked over at him and saw that he to was dressed again in his tattered clothes. His pants were wrinkled, and his button up was torn horrifically. I laughed and reached out to touch his torn shirt and smoothed a piece back into place but when my fingers left his side, the piece folded back over.

He shoed my hand away and laughed with me, "Yea, my penis seems to think we're even."

"Where are we going?" I asked noticing that we were on the freeway.

"Back to Sunnydale. We need to make sure that Willow and everyone else is okay. I turned on the radio earlier and all it said was that all the power in Sunnydale had gone out and they had no idea what caused it. Of course, we already know why. Plus I can bet that Xander is the only one that knows everything about whats going on."

I watched Rupert as he drove and my eyes dieted his attention to his rolled up sleeves. The Mark of Eygon that was tattooed on his arm was exposed. My mouth watered just at the sight of it.

"Jenny…" Rupert spoke slowly, "When you told me about your powers, being an angel, did you tell me absolutely everything that you knew?"

"Yes." I nodded my head and quickly felt light headed.

I really wanted a closer look at his arm.

"Well there is obviously a lot about it that we don't understand. I think it's about time we started researching more about you and that prophecy Damian was talking about. I've never had to study angels before, only demons. However, from what happened just now, I think that when ever you come into contact with some form of dark magic, it triggers you to act… well… um, different. I really think it's necessary that we learn everything that we can about you and your powers. I don't want another 'Angelus' surprise to tear us apart. And I especially don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"Can I see your arm?"

"Hmm… oh, uh… sure."

He wrapped his right arm around my shoulders, leaving his left hand on the steering wheel. But it was his other arm that had the mark.

"No. I want to see the other arm."

"Oh." he pulled his arm back to the steering wheel and awkwardly crossed his Eygon arm over to me, "Why? What's wrong?"

With the mark of Eygon on the surface of his skin, my mouth salivated. I leaned my head closer to his arm and let my tongue slide against the ink stained forever against his skin. Rupert pulled his arm away quickly but I got enough of the taste to savor. His hand pulled my chin to look at him. My face was stuck in the grip of his hand. His fingers held my chin firmly. He looked at me directly into my eyes.

"Damn it!" He pushed my face away and I laughed feeling the left over magic of Eygon in the taste on my tongue. "You're eyes are still black."

"And you're wearing glasses… we all have deformities."

He huffed and his car began to speed a little faster into town. Sunnydale was dark. None of the lights in the town were on.

"We need to find Xander… fast."

"I don't want to find Xander," I said threateningly.

"Well what do you want?"

I sat and thought about the question. As soon as we had entered the town of Sunnydale I could feel the source of where the energy exploded. It was like a magnet calling to me.

"I want to go to Willow's house." I finally answered.

"Why Willow's house?" He asked frustrated.

"That's where the spell happened." I ran my fingers through my hair starting to feel the powers that were locked away in this town. "That's the center of the black out."

He laughed as if I was crazy, "The last thing I want to do is take you to the center of Willow's dark magic spell."

I leaned my face closer to him and bit his ear. I began to pull at his ear and he swerved the car back and forth on the road.

"AH! Okay… okay!" When he started to give in, I my teeth released his ear lobe, "Let's make a deal. I'll take you to Willow's house only after I find Xander."

He looked at me waiting for me to agree. I just rolled my eyes and looked away. He put his eyes back on the road and continued driving.

"I'll take that as a yes."

We drove in silence as he parked in front of Xander's house. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. My fingers tapped impatiently against my arms to show Rupert that I wasn't getting out of the car and to hurry up.

"Fine. I'll be back." He insisted.

He turned off the car and took the keys with him. I watched him walk around the front of the car and all the way to Xander's porch. He rang the doorbell a few times and we waited. As I crossed my legs, my foot accidentally hit the glove box and it opened. I was about to shut it closed when I noticed my spare key was inside. I looked out my window back at Rupert. He was watching me over his shoulder. When I looked at him, he looked away and rang the door bell again. So I moved quickly. I grabbed the keys and jumped into the drivers seat. Rupert didn't notice me until I started the engine. He instantly started running toward the car.

"Jenny! Stop! Jenny!"

I sped away as fast as I could watching Rupert chasing me as he fell far behind. He was way to far behind to worry about. I turned the radio on loud and rocked out to the music feeling wild and free as my Volts-Wagon Bug sped through the dark town. I ignored street signs, swerved around people, and I drove through an empty park. I followed the feeling in my gut that led me to the center of the power outage. Willow's house.

When I reached her house, I parked the car on the street. I looked around and no one was in sight. So I jumped out of the car and walked to the back of the house. I walked slow and soaked in the dark magic with every step closer that I took toward her room. I took off my shoes and let my bare feet step in the grass. I started to feel more connected to the hellmouth with my feet rested on the soil.

As soon as I reached the back door to Willow's room, it opened automatically for me. I stepped inside, in the dark room and started to crawl on the floor. The closer I was to the floor, the more I could feel the power. No one was inside Willow's room and what ever stuff was used to preform the spell was already thrown away. But the energy was still here. I was sitting in the middle of it. I was soaking it up like a sponge. My whole body covered with goosebumps. My head tilted back and everything that caused weakness began to drain out of me. No more love for starters. If there was no more love, there would be no more pain. My body began floating over the carpet. My tickled laugh echoed through Willow's room. It was soft, but wicked. I was surprised when my body was thrown back hard to the floor. I landed hard on my stomach.

"Strange. I don't remember leaving the door open."

My eyes adjusted to the darkness quickly and I saw a figure moving in the room. I tried talking but all that would come out were silent slithers. My mouth felt as if it were drowning in it's own saliva.

"Where did Willow say she left her extra stakes?" I could finally distinguish that the figure in the room was Oz, "I can't keep them waiting. Its so dark in here."

I don't think Oz's eyes had adjusted to the darkness yet because if they had, he old have realized he was staring right at me. But I could see him perfectly. Not just him in the flesh, but I could also see the dark beast within him. Untamed. Oz was wild at heart and confined within himself. The beast inside of him saw me too. When Oz had a strange sense as if he could smell something, he bent down and focused harder in my direction. Soon enough, he saw me. The wolf inside him howled.

"Who the heck…?" He pulled a flashlight out of his pocket and pointed it in my face.

I screamed. I screamed so loud that it sounded like a never ending car alarm. All the glass in the room exploded to the violent vibrations my screams sent through the air. The bulb in the flashlight Oz was holding had also exploded and the light disappeared. We were in the dark again. I stopped screaming and the beast within Oz sat at attention. Oz stopped covering his ears. He looked at me again.

"Willow's spell worked…" he whispered to himself.

He fell to his knees beside me and reached out carefully toward me. When his hand touched my shoulder, something inside of him clicked, "M-miss Calendar? … Oh my, Miss Calendar, do you know why you're here?"

I looked at Oz frustrated and dusted his hand off of me.

"Of course you don't." he corrected himself.

"Actually I do." I stood up and hovered over him, "Willow did some sort of spell to contact me and it might have worked if I were dead. But I'm not. I haven't been for quite a while. However, what I don't yet understand is why you wanted to contact me?"

"What do you mean you're not dead?" He said looking at me confused, "You're not saying you're a vampire."

I was mad that he ignored my question. I rolled my eyes and bended over to grab him by the collar of his shirt. Lifting him up into the sari was just to easy. And throwing him across the room onto Willow's bed was even easier. Somehow I had collected so much power and I didn't bother to question it. I liked it. He was stunned. I walked back next to him as he laid on his back over Willow's bed.

"I asked why!"

"Willow! What the hell is going on up here!" The door swung open and I supposed the redheaded old woman in the bathrobe was her mother. She saw me and entered a state of panic. One look at me and she was afraid. She should be.

"Who are you?"

I ran up to her so fast and grabbed her by the neck before she had time to do anything. She didn't even have time to realize that running away would have been her best option. Her air supply was lessening and she begged with her eyes for me to stop. I used my eyes to stare into her.

"Look, I shouldn't hurt anyone I don't have to so how about this… you do not see, hear, or remember anything that happened here." I let her neck go and her feet planted themselves back on the floor. She looked at me robotically. She was neither afraid, or confused. "Go to bed."

I watched her eyes carefully as they changed. I could control her to do as I commanded. And she obeyed. She walked back to her bedroom without the fear or anxiety that she approached me with. I looked back at Oz and he was trying to arch for the phone on Willow's night stand. I laughed at him. And he looked up at me.

I ran back to the bed and jumped on top of him before he had the chance to get away. I was sitting on him and he squirmed between my legs. I held his arms down over his head and my face was only inches from his. He breathed heavily on my face and I could smell the beast within him.

"But if you refuse to answer why you called me, then there is no telling to how much I can hurt you…"

"We wanted your help to find Buffy," he spat, "But I guess you went to hell so you would've been no use to us. Sorry to disturb your slumber. I actually thought it would have been nice to see you again. Guess I was wrong."

I laughed. "You are wrong Daniel Osbourne…"

"I prefer Oz."

"I prefer dog."

He glared at me in a way that assured me that he would stay quiet this time.

"In fact," I hissed, "I'm one of the only few that knows where Buffy is hiding."

"Then where is she?"

"But wouldn't you much rather see Mr. Giles face when you ask him where Buffy is? I'd very much love to see his face when he realized you figured out his secrets…"

"Giles doesn't know where Buffy is." Oz said confused, "He's off looking for her right now. He's in England getting the Watchers Council's help…"

"Watchers Council? Ha! Like he'd ever go to them and actually tell them that he lost his slayer." I shook my head, "That would be way to embarrassing for Rupert. They could have him fired. How about the next time you see him, you check if his nose hasn't grown another inch or so…"

"Jenny!" A man shouted heavily behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Rupert. It took him a second to see that Oz was stuck under me, "Oz! Run! Get away from her!"

"Speak of the real boy!" I smiled at the man in the doorway trying desperately to catch his breath and look like a threat to me. But he wasn't a threat. He wasn't even an enemy.

Rupert was obviously disturbed over the way my body was leaning over Oz almost sexually. I emphasized it a little more just to tick off Rupert. "Jealous Ripper? I guess Oz was just a bit more beastly than you were…"

"Jenny, I can give you what you want. You can have Ripper. I can give you his power or whatever…" he panted, "But let Oz go."

"Okay." I shrugged. I crawled off of Oz and smiled at Rupert wickedly as I sat on the corner of the bed.

Oz sat up quickly and jumped off the bed. He walked toward Rupert slowly and watched him closely for some sort of signal. But I wouldn't have any of that.

"Hey Oz…"

He froze and turned around to look at me. He knew I was to much of a threat to be ignored. He stared into my eyes and got lost in my gaze. Like Willow's mom, he was helplessly controlled by my will.

I only had to say one word.

"Fetch."

The beast inside of him stood up, turned to Rupert, and howled at the tiny shiver of a moon. But even the phases of the moon didn't matter now. In the blink of an eye, Oz transformed. And the next second he jumped in the air. Rupert looked at the wolf defenseless knowing one thing: He was about to die. Rupert didn't move even though Oz was about to pounce on him. He just stared at him in disbelief. Then he was knocked down hard against the floor… but not by Oz.

Another man pushed Rupert out of the way and Oz missed them both. The beast tumbled over and rolled in the grass outside trying to find its balance to stand back up straight. The other man that had pushed Rupert down, I had recognized immediately even before he stood up. I could feel his dark magic like no other I've felt before. It was strong. I wanted so badly to rip it out of him.

"Hello Damian!" I said excitedly, "You know, I was just thinking about bad boys… but these two are wimps compared to the power I feel inside of you. You are more on my playing field."

"Sorry darling… but I don't have interest in the mentally handicapped. That's Rupert's specialty."

Damian turned back to Oz as soon as he had found his footing. Rupert struggled to stand up but his leg was hurt and he could only stand with a limp. Damian pulled some sparkly pink powder out of his pocket and threw it at the beast. The werewolf, to my surprise, had tumbled over and transformed back into the flesh. Oz laid in the grass unconscious.

"No!" I shouted angrily.

When Rupert saw what was going on, he grabbed some powder from Damian's pocket as I was trying to sneak up on them. But Rupert saw me, and threw the powder at me.

I felt a rush of cold air from head to toe. Everything flowing in me had weakened significantly and I was feeling incredibly light headed. I feel to the floor. Everything that I had done, I could feel it. There were no more walls that barricaded me from feeling the flood of emotions. I began drowning in my own emotional pain. I hurt people. I tried to kill them. I couldn't breathe. I cried trying to catch my breath.

"No…" I whispered in pain, "N-no!"

I couldn't believe it happened. It all felt like a nightmare. My whole body went numb. I wanted to die, I felt so hallow and dirty. I felt like I was burning in a fire that would leave me with scars forever. I looked around Willow's room and saw the damage that I had done and all of the shattered glass on the floor. Rupert got on his knees beside me and pulled me in his arms forcing me to look away from everything I did. But it wasn't that easy. I couldn't just forget what I had felt.

"Shh…" he hummed.

I wanted to tell him I loved him. I wanted to say I was sorry but all I could do was cry. I felt so dirty. I felt dangerous. Untamed.

But I didn't cry for long. The powder had sucked out most of the dark magic inside me but it also drained my energy. I fell unconscious in Rupert's arms in the middle of Willow's trashed bed room.

*(BACK TO NORMAL TIME)

And now here I was in the library crying and staring into the crystal. Emotionally, I was in the same pain that I had been before I had fallen unconscious last night when I had discovered how I damaged myself and everyone around me. The cuts on Rupert's face and his limp all made sense, as did the headache I woke up with.

Rupert was on his knees sitting in front of me with his hands against my legs. I slid down from the chair and again fell into his arms. He hugged me, holding me tightly against him when all I wanted to do was touch him and know that he was alive.

"We'll get through this together." He whispered in my ear.

"Well its about time the little demon woke up." Damian said walking out of Rupert's library office, "How are you feeling?"

Rupert pulled away from me and stood up to face him, "Thanks for your help Damian. Congratulations, you saved the day but you leave her alone. This doesn't change the way I feel about you."

"Fine." He shrugged, "I get it. I practically tortured you to death and then last night I saved all your lives… wait… actually I don't get it anymore."

"Then let me make it clear." Rupert grabbed him by the neck of his shirt and pulled him closer to his face, "Jenny and I are avoiding the gypsies and since you ran away from them, there is no doubt that they are looking for you! You're putting a target on our back and the only reason I don't turn you in to the gypsies right now is because you seem to be the only one that knows about Jenny's powers. You give me what you know, you NEVER talk to Jenny, and we'll keep you safe. Understood?"

"Hey now," Damian said dusting Rupert off of him, "As I recall, you also owe me the sword that was stuck in Acathla. I don't want the one that was blessed by the night. I want the real thing. Did you bring it?"

Rupert walked to where he kept all of his weapons in the library. He opened the cabinet inside the library cage and we saw all of the weapons he had hidden. Out of all of the weapons, he pulled out a powerful looking sword.

"Oh smart. You locked the crazy demon girl in the cage with all the weapons!"

Rupert ignored Damian's humor and continued, "You don't need to worry, the sword that is stuck in Acathla right now is the sword that was blessed by the knight. This one, is the very first sword that Angel pulled out of the stone. i don't understand why you want it." Rupert admitted, "It's useless now."

"I thought it would be a cool momento to keep in honor of Ralph. Just a worthless treasure to keep to show him that he won. The world didn't end." Damian said taking the sword from Rupert, "Doesn't it look nice Jenny?"

Now he was teasing me. Damian knew I couldn't tell Rupert that Damian and I were going to attempt resurrecting Angel. I glared at him and he couldn't stop himself from laughing.

"I said you are never to speak with her." Rupert demanded.

"Well that might be a little hard…" He said sarcastically, "We do have business to discuss."

"And you tell me everything you know about Jenny's prophecy that you know and talk to her as little as possible."

"Does that sound fair to you Jenny?" Damian asked looking again at me.

I rolled my eyes at him still frustrated. But deep down I was really glad that he had gotten the sword from Rupert. Now we are one step closer to doing the impossible. From doing the only thing that can redeem me for Buffy's sake.

"Why were you there last night anyway?" I asked Damian, "How did you know we were there?"

"Oh. Well. I didn't actually." He admitted, "I happened to be in Sunnydale at the time of the blackout and I knew that something mystical caused it. I can to clean up the dark magic, which is why you were lucky I just happened to be carrying around that powder or else all hell would have broken loose. By the time I got to Willow's house to save your asses, you were already half way from creating another hell dimension!"

"So wait… you cleaned all the dark magic out of me, with dust?" I asked confused.

"Well yea… magical dust." He shrugged, "It cleans out the dark magic and balances everything out again. That's why you and wolf boy are back to normal. I mean, that kid is still a werewolf and you're still susceptible to turning to the dark side every now and again but with that powder, I balanced you back for the moment. I gave Rupert here the recipe in case it happens again." He glared at Rupert, "Oh! And you are welcome for that by the way! And for fixing Ms. Rosenburg's exploded bedroom, without your help!"

"You used magic to clean that stuff up…" Rupert huffed, "I could have used magic to clean her room too."

"Yea… but you didn't!"

"What about Oz?" I interrupted.

Both of the boys were silent. But they didn't have to be for long. Oz entered the library caring a duffle bag and a sour expression on his face. We all watched him in silence as he walked toward Rupert. Rupert didn't say anything so Damian decided to clue me in on what happened.

"Oz is coming with us to visit Buffy and while we are there he expects a clear explanation about how and why you are alive again. Depending on what he hears and sees, that's when he will decide if he will spill the beans about any of it to the others of your um, scooby gang."

I noticed Oz couldn't even look at me. But after what I did, I didn't expect him to. I couldn't even look at myself. But everyone watched Oz as he walked up to the only person he was talking to, and he didn't look happy. Oz shoved his duffle bag into Rupert's arms and Rupert took a step back from the blow. Oz was obviously furious with Rupert.

"Willow wanted me to tell you that she misses you."

…

"I'll just wait in the car."

He left the library again the same way he had entered it. Outraged.


End file.
